Levi Lusko - Peace When Life's a Mess

In this sermon from Matthew 5's Beatitudes, Pastor Levi Lusko uses the scary "death wobble" experience in his Jeep to illustrate how life's shaking, spiraling seasons—though they feel out of control—are actually blessed because they draw us closer to God, develop our character, and position us for growth and deeper dependence on Him.

The Death Wobble in the Jeep

My son, Lennox, who’s here with us, and I were in my Jeep driving down the road a few months ago. We weren’t going crazy fast; we were about to turn onto a freeway, so we would’ve gotten a lot quicker. But on this little road we were on, we were hitting about 40, 43, 44 miles per hour.

That’s when I started to hear it—that low-level hum of a vehicle that’s not doing so well. When something’s healthy, you almost always hear it before you see it. There’s a sound to healthy things. By the way, that’s why we praised God a moment ago, because, as C.S. Lewis said, praise is the sound of a healthy soul.

When something’s healthy, it has a certain sound. When it’s unhealthy, it has a different sound. That’s why doctors always want to listen to your lungs, listen to your heart—because healthy things sound a certain way.

Recognizing the Problem

I could tell from the sound of my Jeep that it was not healthy. The sound—I started to feel it through my whole body. It was a vibration, and then it was a rumble. When I hit 45 miles an hour, it was a full-fledged wobble. I felt like we were about to violently continue in this acceleration of shaking and we were going to flip over.

So I immediately put the hazards on, braked, and pulled over to the side of the road. I called the mechanic and explained what happened. He was nonchalant. He said, “Oh, sounds like you got a death wobble on your hands.” A death wobble? Why do you have to call it that?

He said, “Just go slow. Did it happen about 45, 50?” I said, “Yeah, 45 exactly.” He said, “Just go slowly; come to me.” We dropped the car off. I got picked up, and later he called me. I said, “What was it? What’s the deal?”

The Cause and the Fix

He said, “It happens to Jeeps a lot for whatever reason. But here’s the deal: it was no one thing that caused your wobble. It was three things in your vehicle that had gotten worn down over time, and these three things worn down eventually made your car susceptible to it.”

He said, “I bet you hit a pothole right before it started.” I said, “Actually, that’s crazy—I hit this bump.” He said, “Yeah, you hit a bump, and it causes three worn-down things to all of a sudden just weaken. That’s what happened.”

It wasn’t a big fix. He said it’s going to cost like $641 and told me things I didn’t even know existed: track bar, drag link, tie rod. I just bought the Jeep because my dad had one, and it gives me nostalgia. It wasn’t like I’m actually about that yellow duck life and crawling and all these things. I’ll give a Jeep wave just like the next guy.

But I said, “Of course, I’ll pay the $600. Do you know how much caskets cost?” This was scary. It felt so out of control. Just going down the road one moment, now feeling like I’m about to flip into oncoming traffic the next.

Choosing to Address the Issue

I did have other options. I didn’t have to fork out the 600 bucks. I could have just burned the car and bought a new one, I suppose. I could have, for the rest of my life, driven only sub-40 miles an hour—the height of dysfunction. Like, “Hey, at least it’s not happening; at least I’m not going to wobble.”

Of course, the better decision was to suffer the inconvenience, the expense, and the setback to actually deal with what was going on under the hood.

Matthew 5—Jesus tells us exactly what we need to do when our lives wobble, what we need to know. Difficult seasons come in all shapes and sizes. Touch three people and tell them, “Where’d you get your wobble? Where’d you get your wobble?”

All of us are going to, at times, find ourselves feeling like, “What’s going on here? Everything is no longer normal. Things are shaking; I feel out of control.”

The Beatitudes: Blessed in the Wobble

Here’s what you need to remember in the midst of life’s wobbling seasons. It says in Matthew 5:3,

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad—not just a little bit glad, but when you’re wobbling down the road, rejoice and be exceedingly glad; supersize your gladness—for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

Would you pray with me?

Father, we thank You for Your Word. We love Your Word. We just realize what an honor it is to be able to open it up and consider it and let You speak to us. And we pray, God, that even if it doesn’t feel anything remotely close to something that we should rejoice over, that we would have our eyes open to see what a joy it is to go through hard things that cause our eyes to go to You. And we pray now You would speak to us loud and clear, and may Your blessing be upon this church—not only thanking You for the past, but also anticipating what You’re going to do in the coming days. And we pray this in Jesus’ name, amen.

Blessed Are the Spiraling

Essentially what Jesus is saying—to paraphrase the Beatitudes—is blessed are the spiraling. That’s the title of the message. That’s the title of this book that really came out of a really dark, difficult two-year-long period.

I’m 43 now, about to be 44 next year. That’s how time works—it just sort of sneaks up on you, creeps up on you. It’s wild how that all takes place.

But when I turned 38, I began—even though I didn’t realize it at the time—a period of wobbling. It did not slowly sneak up; it was just bang—it hit me all of a sudden, like a freight train in the middle of the night one evening, when I began having panic attacks at bedtime, just feeling like I was about to have a heart attack, like I was literally losing my mind, going crazy.

That was the start for me of a two-year-long period that I can now look back on as a classic midlife crisis.

Personal Crisis and Common Transitions

In the moment, I just thought I was going crazy. I didn’t understand. It wasn’t just panic attacks; it was also a sense of apathy. I didn’t have the same drive. I’ve had drive and ambition and fire in my belly to spare for my whole life.

The 20 years of doing ministry, pastoring, leading, writing—I’ve always had so much forward-thinking momentum. But in this season of my life, I didn’t have the same level of care, the same level of strength, of fire.

There was also just this incredible sense of dread, like I wasn’t in control. It was a terrible feeling. In the moment, I did not feel like it was a blessing. But according to Jesus, what happens to us in these difficult moments is in fact a blessing.

I don’t know if you can relate to my particular kind of crazy—whether you would relate to a midlife crisis or what is actually even more common: a quarter-life crisis or a later-life crisis. What it really boils down to is that transitions are hard and scary.

Examples of Life’s Spiraling Moments

I have a friend who felt like he started spiraling when he brought his daughter to kindergarten for the first time. That’s a benchmark we all should be happy about—you’re excited about it. That’s the whole point. Someone lost a child and never got to. So you should be happy.

But he felt this sense of, oh my gosh—how were we as parents for the five years when she was just under our roof the whole time? Now she’s going out, and he’s playing it out: she’s graduating high school, getting married, probably not even returning his phone calls anymore. He’s in this full-blown existential crisis.

But then added to that, he felt bad because he felt like he shouldn’t feel bad about a season he should feel good about.

I have another friend who sold companies later in life that he built, scaled, and grew. The day he affixed his signature to sell the companies—which was always the point—he said in that one moment he knew that neither he, nor his kids, nor even maybe his kids’ kids would ever worry for money again. Yet it’s the most empty he had ever felt in his entire life.

He felt this incredible sense of spiraling—this sense of where do I go from here and what now?

It can happen when you get married—you always wanted to get married, but then they never go away; that person’s just there. You wanted to have kids, but then you have kids.

The feeling of hanging up your jersey and cleats for the last time after competing for so long. Being in college at this pretend little life—here’s where you get your food, here’s the sorority, here’s everything—and all of a sudden it just changes. The goal always was to join the workforce; you were never meant to stay in college forever. Praise God, right?

Why Spiraling Seasons Are Blessed

Sometimes when we get to these benchmarks we longed for, that we looked forward to, they don’t always feel like what we thought they were going to feel like. We’re not even sure about what’s next. We hit these moments.

For me, it was just a sense of: have I taken the organization or my own personal leadership as far as I can go? Are my best days behind me? There were all sorts of difficult questions I was asking that don’t feel like the perfect time to rejoice.

Yet if what Jesus is saying can be trusted, in those moments when we feel stuck, or when we feel like we’re coming unglued, or we feel like we’re wobbling, we are right in the thick, smack dab in the middle of the place that God wants us to be—because we are actually capable in those moments of giving Him our undivided attention.

Sometimes when cruise control’s on and everything’s sunny and we’re just kind of tracking it, we can take everything for granted. But we have to focus. The blessing is that in those moments, in God’s upside-down kingdom, when we’re hurting, scared, and confused—when we’re spiraling—we are actually capable of receiving His blessing, His help, His assistance in a way that is not possible when it’s all blue skies and sunshine.

According to Jesus, we should count ourselves fortunate when we’re being reviled, when we’re mourning, when we’re not feeling rich in faith but poor in spirit. That’s life in God’s upside-down kingdom.

God’s Upside-Down Kingdom

Jesus said in Matthew 10:39, “He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.”

Never forget God’s kingdom is flipped straight upside down—like The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. It’s not how we think it should be. If you want to have your life, you gotta give it away. If you want to be great in His kingdom, you gotta serve.

So of course, we’re actually lucky, fortunate, blessed when we feel like we’re at the end of ourselves—because that, beloved, is when we’re at the beginning of God. We are actually able to tap into the omnipresent God who loves to come near.

The omnipresent God who’s always everywhere—He’s in your tomorrow, He’s in your yesterday. He’s the worst person you could ever play hide-and-go-seek with. Ask Jonah how that went. Yet He says He can come near—and that’s the sense of His presence, His manifest presence, theologians call it.

Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is near—He’s always there, but can come near—to those who have” what? A broken heart, and saves such as have a wobble in their spirit. Those who are spiraling—He’s able to save you, help you, come near to you.

Reasons We’re Blessed When Spiraling

So the first reason you’re blessed when you’re spiraling is because God is near. The second is because it’s proof that He’s trying to develop you.

Malcolm Muggeridge said that in his 75 years of life, looking back, he never grew or was developed in a time that was easy. We all want easy times, but that’s not when we grow. We grow when there’s adversity, pressure.

Like Free Willy—you gotta keep your dorsal fin up by being in the wild of the ocean, by having the pressure, resistance, difficulty. The life that we crave is the life that will cause our souls to shrivel, to be weak. So God’s trying to develop you—and He wants to put your spiraling to work.

2 Corinthians 4:17: “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.” Our troubles, which are small and won’t last very long, are actually producing for you.

God’s taking these spiraling times, difficult times, brutal times—and He’s using them to develop your character, your Christ-likeness.

The way I say it in the book is that you feel like you’ve smacked into a wall, but my counselor helped me see in these difficult seasons it wasn’t a wall—it was a stair step. It was a stair step of growth, development, the next level—and then onward and upward we go.

Growth isn’t just up and to the right; it’s one difficult transition at a time. These wobbling times are there for us to realize God’s trying to develop us.

Spiraling Up, Not Just Down

So what that means is you can spiral up, not just down. We always think about spiraling down—but how did Elijah the prophet get to heaven? God sent a whirlwind. God is capable of bringing us to His kingdom through a spiral. It’s His spiral.

So how do we spiral up? That, of course, is the question. I spent the last two years scooping up all the nuggets God gave me in those previous two very difficult years, from 38 to 40. The last two years of my life have been spent distilling it into this book.

Obviously, with the time that remains, I can’t give you everything that’s in the book. So here’s what I’m going to do: what’s going to follow is just six big ideas. Consider them your Costco-sized sample. If you like it, the chimichangas are on aisle 17.

Six Ways to Spiral Up

Stick to the Plan
The classic trope of someone in an existential crisis—midlife or otherwise—is really bad decisions: the gold chain, the Corvette, the divorce, the abrupt decision.

So what do we do when we’re in crisis or times of spiraling? We stick to the plan. We don’t make big decisions in the storm. It’s not the time to quit the job, move, or make a big knee-jerk decision—because we can’t trust the emotion of how we’re feeling right now.

For me, if I’m honest, in the midst of my worst time spiraling, I didn’t know if 10 years from now—or even at this present moment—I’d still be leading Fresh Life Church or writing books. I had all kinds of feelings like, no way I could keep doing that.

So what did I do? I just kept pointing people to Jesus at Fresh Life Church and kept writing whatever I could that I did know and believe—which is to point to Jesus. My calling came in a calm moment, when I heard God’s voice. I’m not going to quit what He called me to do in the sunshine just because I’m standing in the valley of the shadow of death.

Never trade what you do know for what you don’t know. I didn’t know how it’s all going to turn out, but I do know God is still good—so I’m going to keep trusting Him.

Look at what Peter says: “When life gets really difficult, don’t jump to the conclusion that God isn’t on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.”

Glory could be just around the corner—we must not give up.
Peel Away the Extra
In 1950, the average home size in the United States was 984 square feet. Today it’s over 2,480. McDonald’s in the 1940s—the largest soda was five ounces; today you can get 30 ounces and bigger. Everything’s getting extra.

The enemy crowds our lives full of so many things—the deceitfulness of riches, the cares of the world, the desire for other things—because a crowded life is the enemy of a fruitful soul.

So peel away the extra: the subscriptions, the stuff. Also peel away the extra that creeps into your identity. I started pastoring in my 20s; after 20 years, I wasn’t old yet, but I wasn’t a young man anymore. Part of the difficulty was wrestling with how much of my identity was based on being the young pastor.

We can mistake God’s blessings or how He uses us for how we see ourselves. When what makes you you is anything other than who God is and His love for us, everything gets taken from our hands eventually—except the love of God and being His child.
Interpret Your Struggle Accurately
Go easy on yourself—be compassionate. You’ve never been here before. You’ve never been 38 before, never had an empty nest, never retired. Be kind to yourself; this is uncharted territory.

Puberty was messy—every developmental transition is equally difficult. We can’t expect to be good at it.

Also, don’t catastrophize—“No one’s ever experienced difficulty like I have.” That’s not true.

Interpret it as something that deserves the help and care of others. In community—not isolation—we come to the right conclusions. I’ve called friends and pastors crying; they’ve helped me interpret my struggle accurately.
Retool for the Current and Coming Season
Proverbs says, “Go to the ant, sluggard; consider her ways and be wise.” She prepares for winter ahead of time.

Yet 68% of Americans don’t have an up-to-date will—even though 100% will die. We need to prepare for what’s next while stewarding the current season.

Have a vision for your old age. Culture focuses on the first half of life, but Proverbs says the glory of young men is their strength, and the splendor of old men is their gray head.

We need Luke Skywalkers and Yodas. New seasons require new strategies in Jesus’ name. Spiraling moments give us a chance to go into the locker room and retake the field differently.
Attack the Problem from All Angles
Approach it holistically—emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually. I met with doctors, counselors, friends, my wife; I prayed.

Sometimes we just want to “pray the devil away,” but we need to address every side—like the three worn parts that caused the Jeep wobble.
Look for Beauty
Human beings crave awe—nature, art, worship. The Psalms constantly point to creation: ocean waves, deer giving birth, cedars of Lebanon.

When Job was spiraling, God pointed to Leviathan and the stars. It right-sizes us.

Next time you’re spiraling, look at a snail’s shell, an aloe vera plant, Hubble images—galaxies, storms, clouds—all spiraling according to God’s design.

The Fibonacci spiral is in nature, great art (Mona Lisa, Hokusai wave), architecture (Parthenon, pyramids)—and in the ram’s horn, the shofar.

In difficult moments, Israel blew the shofar. Gideon’s 300 blew the shofar. There are not just blessings hidden in your spirals, but spirals hidden in your blessings.

God intends for you, in every crisis of pain, to blow a shofar of praise—to lift up your worship.

Closing Prayer and Invitation

And so, Father, we thank You for the fact that there are hidden spirals everywhere.

Like in the five—wait, six points we had today. The hidden spiral that was there the whole time—because I put it there. Just like our God hid a plan in the difficulties we’re facing.

If you needed this today—if you need to choose praise in your pain, to lift up your shofar of worship, to believe you’re blessed to go to the next level—raise your hands all across the church. Whatever spiral you’re in, whatever caused you to wobble—God bless and heal.

Touch these, help them to see, God, that things aren’t careening out of control. They’re right according to Your plan. You’re moving them closer to You with every step. May they lift up their praise in the midst of their difficulty.

You can put your hands down.

Now to those at every location and online who haven’t made the most important decision—to give your life to Jesus. The same God who painted the spiral onto every snail shell and the whirlpool galaxy loves you. His name is Jesus—He carried the cross for you, rose from the dead, and will work all difficult moments together for your good and His glory.

If you want to open the door of your heart to Jesus, lift your hands up right now. We’re praising God for every salvation, every hand, every person trusting Him.

If you raised your hand, pray this with me—everyone together, no one praying alone:

Dear God. I’m a sinner. I can’t fix myself. But I believe You can. Please come into my heart. And make it Your home. Help me to live for You. Thank You for the cross. And thank You for the empty tomb. Thank You for new life. I give You mine. In Jesus’ name. Amen.