Leon Fontaine - Loving Others
When we have God's love, when we experience God's love, we can literally give it. But until we experience God's love, we have no ability to love people with God's love. And so how do we begin to love God? Someone say, "Leon, I wanna love Jesus but, I mean, I see people raise their hands and I see tears coming". Listen, I tell you something. A lot of people who or weeping during church moments aren't weeping because they love God. In many cases, it's just they're gone through a rough week and they're hurting because of a loss. And there's nothing wrong with that as you stand before Him and you thank for God for what He's done. But a lot of people if you ask them, "Do you love God"? They'll say, "Yeah, like but what does that mean"?
And so to love God, you have to know and believe this love. And how do you believe that God loves you? Well, the Bible is paramount because you've got to go and see how do I know God loves me? And then you get into Jesus. How He sent His son and His Son died. He hanged on a tree and He took my sins and yours. He took my punishment and yours. He took God's anger for me, for you. He has none left to throw at you. And as you begin to read what this really means understanding the cross, you begin to believe that God loves me.
Now, as you believe it, you will begin to experience it. But you can't experience it until you believe it. If you're a married couple here and you've been married for years and one of you just pours love on the other person, but the other person doesn't believe its love. Will they experience love? No. In fact, they will experience what they believe you're pouring on. If it's manipulation, they'll believe they're being manipulated but you're not manipulating. Love has to be believed.
Now, we know that there's a deep belief in the hearts of every person. And it's so important that even when speaking to mountains, they will move. If your heart is in the right place, I'll be motivated. I mean, it said literally that you can't doubt with your heart. That means there are beliefs of the heart and these beliefs control everything in your life. You know, if there're any electricians here, I apologize in advance. But if this room is gonna wired and there's no power here. They have a schematic. A schematic is a graph of how will you throw the power switch. The power switch goes, and all the spotlights come on.
If you flip that switch a little blue and red come one. And you go that switch the big screen comes on. And this power is always blasting down those lines and so we've gotta have those switches and different things, but it always does the same thing every time. I can't just say I'm gonna switch this switch and put up the spots on. No, no. You can't. That schematic and how it was wired together will always cause you, flip the switch that's what happens. Now, in your life as you grow up watching your parents and how they handled love, stress. How they handled emotions, how they handled disobedience, finances, poverty, sin, all of things are written on your heart.
And you will naturally move towards how your parents handled these things. You don't even think about it. You don't even have a choice. The second the situation arises, bam! That switch goes on, you can instantly go to anger. For example, someone plays a joke on one person and they're laughing and high fiving because they feel bless that you even thought about me to play a joke on me and they feel great. Another person is embarrassed and just thinks they've been demeaned. The exact the same action, two different schematics on the heart. One really struggling with self-worth, the other person... So we've gotta understand that your upbringing a lot of your judgments about things that have happened to you.
So as you grow, we think we are interpreting the events of our lives correctly but you're not. The schematic that has been superimposed on your heart determines how you feel, determines what you experience. One experience is a wonderful joke and a great evening together, laughing about how funny it was and another person is so embarrassed and hurt. They'll tell you about it 15 years from today as one of the most embarrassing things that happened in their life and it has nothing to do with the incident. It has to do with the BS of your own heart, belief systems. And so we need to get into God's Word. We need to understand that you can't judge people. You don't know people. You can't determine what they're like and, you know, in their heart. You can't touch their heart. You can judge their actions and their track record. But you can't judge their motives and their intentions. Only God can do that.
So if we're gonna really get to a place where we can have great relationships. You first have to have the best relationship which is God. If you don't know God's love. If you haven't spent time to understand the cross and you just woe at the love of God. Then I'm sorry, but you're gonna have messy relationships. They're gonna hurt. Men are different than women. We've figured that one out, but there's no difference. We both have got to come to truth. No wonder the Bible says, and you'll know truth. That means at the heart level, and the truth will set you free. You'll no longer be judging inaccurately. You'll no longer be needing all this people to love you and to make you feel good about yourself. You see, this value, this importance, this love that we, every human being needs which really is love.
But I'm trying to express it with other words until it's the deepest need that everyone of us has. This need to be loved, to establish our hearts in God's love. If we don't, we're gonna follow the old patterns that have been taught us. But if we can take God and His Word, a new pattern can get written on your heart and it changes everything. You literally begin to trust God. So your self-worth is no longer handed to anybody. One of the keys to the Christian life is to work out the salvation. Believe in this love that Jesus has for you. Learn to experience and spend time with Him in the Word and in relationship. Because if you don't, I'm telling you guys your life will be one big resentful, angry.
I've seen some angry men because they won't make one little correction on truth. I've seen women just, I mean, people can go from, either completely having a nervous breakdown to an anger so strong that they're dominating everybody around them and it's got nothing to do with life. Oh, there's always gonna be problems in life. Hello! Oh, yeah, if you've got the problems I have. I could show you a hundred people right now with worse problem than you. It doesn't matter what you tell me. It's not the problems. It's the internal schematic of your beliefs especially you being special. You being loved. You being important. You being valued. Nobody can look after that. I can't. But Jesus can. Dealing with the beliefs of your heart is the ultimate key.
Now, listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. There is no quick fix for this. I can't lay hands on you like the matrix and download. There, you're fixed. I know God heals broken hearts. But then that heart still has to be established in grace. You've gotta be established that God is in love with you. We have a hard time believing that God can love us unless we perform. And many parents have made a mistake unknowingly of withholding or giving more love so get their kids to do the chores, don't lie, clean your room. And they've forgotten that God's love and we must show this to our children if we want generations of family. There has to be a love that is unconditional.
Now, of course, you're gonna discipline them. Of course, you're gonna bring things to bear and set boundaries and all the rest. Yes. But your love must be unconditional. Otherwise they develop what's called toxic love. And they'll spend the rest of their life trying to earn it. That man will spend the rest of his life trying to earn his wife's love and appreciation and awe and compliments and never get enough. That woman would try to be loved from that man. And what's going on is that there's a need that she has that no one else can meet. We must get into God's Word. We must recognize that that's not going to help you.
People with low self-worth, they don't feel worthy of love. They don't feel precious or valuable deep inside. They don't believe that they deserve to be loved. No, in their head they know that's not true. But in their heart, that's written there on that heart. So what they kind of believe with their head isn't being experienced. And their minds they feel conflicted because I know that I'm, but this is not how I feel. We've gotta take God's Word. Jesus is the Word. In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word. Do you know why church is so important? Because you're being taught God's Word. You're being taught with God believes about you. You're being taught God's principles. And if you don't, you're never going to renew your mind. You're never gonna be able to pull off the strongholds, the reasonings, the imaginations.
The way you believe isn't being pulled off. The Bible says put off, put on, put off, put on. I laugh when they tell people that, you know, guys we don't like changing diapers on our kids. And we would rather just sprinkle some powder on the first diaper and put a second one over top. You know, and then when the mess breaks into the second diaper just sprinkles some powder on the second diaper put a third on top. After all, it does say good to 27 pounds on the box. But it's what you take off and what you put on.
So many Christians are always adding knowledge. They learn this. They learn that. And it's like the knowledge hurts you. Any knowledge that you embraced that you don't get to work for you causes unbelief. Because you know it, but you don't see it. You know it, but you don't walk in it. And so it's crucial to put off, put on. Which means you get that little baby on the table and you pull that little diaper off and you put a clothes clip on your nose and you wipe that little baby down until it's nice and clean skin. You put some powder on and Penaten cream or whatever you use and then you put the diaper. You put off, put on.
That's what God's Word does. You might have thought you were stupid. You might have never been shown you've been loved. You might had a dad that beat you your entire life. You might had a mum that was so sociopathic. She could never even just come out and thought she's just hidden back away. I don't know. So you developed this feeling and this thinking that becomes the beliefs and the schematic of your heart. The power of Jesus will touch you. Paul said something that's crucial. He said the gospel is not me trying to convince you with words. I'm here with the demonstration of the power of God.
The power of God not only forgives you and comes into your heart when you give your life to Christ. But as you begin to work out your salvation and renew your mind, the powerful Word of God begins to pull off all the lies and the junk and the stupid schematics and the preconceived ideas that are wrong. So that this mind gets renewed with the Word and this heart has a brand-new seed planted in it, like Mark chapter 4 says until crops of joy and peace and self-worth just begin to rise up in you. Now, you're a blessing. I had a snappy young woman talked to me one time. She was large and in charge. She wanted to know why, you know, that she's been praying for a husband and then bless God and she was going down through the men that she's been meeting and why this hasn't happened yet?
Sometimes I put my foot in my mouth. I just said to her, "Maybe God doesn't wanna curse any poor guy with you". Her eyes got really big and she stopped, "What do you mean"? I said, "What are you doing looking for a man? What you should be doing is finding Christ and your self-worth in Him. Make sure that you and Jesus are good. And I promise you, the right one won't stay away from you. But to go blame that man, hunt that man down, you're gonna get the wrong one anyway". And I could say that to the guys, too. I'm not being sexist on that one. What Jesus did on the cross is absolutely crucial to your life. Let's pretend this is a tree. Right here. Tree. This is the bush up here and this down here is the root. So up here we got the fruit growing on the tree.
And again, maybe it's bad fruit. So I get rid of the fruit. I don't want the fruit. Let's get it off. A funny happens in the spring. It all grows back, same fruit over and over. That tree is gonna produce the same fruit stinking fruit nonstop for decades. What you gotta do is go down and get up that root. You cut that root down, all the fruit dies. And then you find things that have got the right root. Now, the root is the beliefs of your heart. The fruit is the behaviors, the emotions, the feelings, the things that are going on in you that you blame everybody out there for, because they didn't do this, and they didn't do that. They didn't do this and I'm telling you right now. No, no. This fruit comes from root. This fruit doesn't come from something out there.
Fruit is what we see. Root is what we cannot see. Fruit is the dysfunctional behavior we show the world around us. The root is the belief that empowers us. The root, okay, causes or feeds the symptom, just like it feeds the fruit on that tree. Behavior is a symptom. Change behavior never resolves the inner struggle overtime or all of the tormenting emotions that you're going through. I wanna challenge you if you haven't given your life to Christ, give your life to Christ. And then you must learn to know Him. You must study His Word. You must learn to discipline yourself. I just don't like to read. You know, make an excuse you want. Listen to the Word. Read, but get to church and begin to find out what Jesus did for you on that cross.
So many Christians think they know it and they don't. They don't know that it's my sin, your sin that He took. That it was the curse that went with my sin that He took. It was the anger of God against sin that He took. God is not angry at me no more. He's not angry at you. Now, what the problem now is that religion. When I travel the world, I heard the stupidest religious beliefs I've ever seen in my life.
Someone said to me, "Everything happens for a purpose. Trust God". Oh, I said, "I just talk to a man whose little daughter was raped". What kind of a sick thing is that to think? Well, you know, I saw a little baby died of brain cancer, crying from the pain. God is doing this, allowing this, He's teaching us something? What Bible are you reading? God gave us blessing. He said the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy in John 10:10, but I am come that you might have life and more abundantly. He made the pleasures. He made the great things. He's designed relationships to prosper. He's designed every good thing on this planet for his people. And even on this world with the kingdom of darkness, you don't even have to be in the kingdom. You can be in the kingdom of light and He'll walk with you through all the junk that life has.
Listen to me. In Ephesians chapter 3, I've got to talk really fast now. It talks there about having strength on the inner man. That if you wanna be strong, that you can pray for somebody and God strength will go into them. But it tells you what the strength is, is that God's love would dwell in your heart by faith. That you will be rooted and grounded in love. When a man loves correctly, there's more masculinity on that guy than you'll ever see anywhere else because he knows whose he is. He knows where his self-worth comes from his value. He knows God loves him.
Woman is not gonna change that on him. That warrior princess knows who she is in the Word. No guys gonna take it away. I don't care how many years you've been married. I don't care what's going on. That it's the love of God that secures you and gives you strength. How many people right now, you know, talk about stress. Stress is your reaction to things. It's your beliefs about things. And because you either react to stress emotionally which is seen. But a lot of times men react to stress physically which you can't see.
You know, the average man if he marries his wife the same age dies 10 years younger than she does. And I got some theories on that, just mine. Women know how to talk. Men, they just tuck it away. Keep pushing it down inside. It will make you sick. The Bible says it will take your, the Bible literally says if you do not deal with that stress, which is fear, it will stop men's hearts. We live in this fallen world with all of the answers and it's Jesus that changes everything. And my challenge to you today for the rest of this month is get to know Jesus through the Word. And then get to know Jesus in your prayer time. Talk to Him. He gives strength to the weary.
Guys, we can be tough say, "I'm not weary". It was not what you said yesterday. "I'm so sick and tired of that lady". Good! There you are. You're weary. Ask God for emotional strength. Oh, I don't need emo... Yeah, we do. Maybe some relational strength. Maybe something you're going through right now. It's someone you love going through stuff. Don't personalize it. Don't take it on as your stuff. Now, if there's some stuff in there, deal with your stuff. But other than that, you can't change another person. You can't change their emotions. You can't change their belief systems. You can't change and make them anything. What you can do is love them with God's love but not allow that neediness to pull you out of a sense of peace and who you are into this crazy life of up and down. God's love will affect your will. God's love will affect your physical body and it will bring healing.
3 John 2 says I wish above all things that you prosper and be in health as your soul. These emotions. These feelings as they prosper, you'll walk in health. God's love will bring you strength to take on financial challenges. God's love will give you a strength to deal with people properly rather than give them a piece of your unrenewed mind every time at work. There's strength that will, because you are loved by God. You feel significant. You feel special. You feel love. You know it. You believe it. You experience it. You're growing in it.
Now, you have an opportunity to treat people correctly. Don't expect from them what they could never give you. When they ask, maybe you would be able to point them towards the greatest lover of all times. The greatest friend, His name is Jesus. And I promise you without Him, you're screwed. So you might as well get to know Him. You might as well go to His Word say, "Jesus, I need to see You". And recognize how much He loves you. Can you believe the love of God? Can you recognize you mess up, you know, addicted, lots of sin, and can you believe He loves you anyway? You have to because He said He does, and God doesn't lie. And then secure yourself that God is in love with you. And I promise you some of the craziness going on in your head of behavior, emotions, feelings, judgments that are owning you. Satan is pushing your buttons every day of your life. They'll disappear in the light of His glory and His grace. Get your eyes on Jesus.