Leon Fontaine - Heavenly Emotions
Today I'm talking about heavenly emotions. Heavenly emotions. Matthew 7:1-2 says, don't judge others. He didn't say it wouldn't be a good idea. He didn't say it's just too much work. He said, "Don't. Don't judge others, or you will be judged". God's not talking about Him judging you. He's saying you will be judged. If you're here, and you feel like people are always judging you. Guess what? You would judge as judgement comes to those who judge. Let's read on. "Don't judge others, or you will be judged. You will be judged in the same way that you judge others"
Let's stop right there. Everybody judges me. Interesting, isn't it? Biblically speaking you've brought it on yourself. Either the Bible is a liar. It's true. Let's move on. "And the amount you give to others judgment will be given to you or the standard you use for others will be the standard used for you, with the measure you measure it, it will be measured to you". If it's a teaspoon, it's coming back with teaspoons. If it's a shovel, it's coming at you in shovels. If it's a dump truck, it's coming back at you in dump trucks. But when you judge, you will get it back good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over and it will destroy your happiness, your peace, and your life. So this whole issue of judgment.
Now, what is judgment? Judgment is when you notice something or somebody and you ask yourself a question, "Why do they do that to me or why don't they do this to me"? Why? The second you ask why, you move from what happen to why it happened. One is simply the external event. The other is an internal motive. When you start messing with people's hearts and you start judging, talking, this horrible thing begins to happen to you. You begin to live judged and you'll feel it. People who judge others live in incredible fear. What kind of fear? They can't make relationships work. They don't like being in public. They don't like being around people and they'll say, "All they do is talk about me. All they do is judge me".
Now, if it's true, okay? The only way that this works, sowing and reaping, is you have to be judging first. So the only way to stop this feeling. This sense of people judging you, talking about you. You know, looking at your motives, your intentions. The only way is you've gotta stop judging because we are forbidden to judge which means to judge the heart. Where your motives and your intentions are gotta stop and you'd be an observer but not a judge. Once you do that, all of your relationships begin to get better. Many of you who can't build relationships that last will find that all of a sudden you have a joy for relationships. They begin to work better.
And as you walk this journey in the skills that I'm gonna show you out, as you walk it out all your relationships get better. Your kids don't wanna leave you. They wanna stay close because coming to your house is such a joy, being around you is such a joy because they don't feel judge. They get around you and they feel loved, believed in. You're not looking at their faults. You're looking at their needs. You're not looking at what they've done and then why is the question. The second you ask the question why. You are judging people and that judgment is gonna have horrific consequences in your life and in the relationship that you judge.
We are not to judge others. It is forbidden and the moment you attempt to, you begin to enter suffering. Jesus said that offenses will come. Jesus says pain will come but ongoing suffering in relationship is given to those who judge. All right. How can we do that? Let me give you some thoughts. I'm gonna go through about nine. I might forget to number them but. Oh, you gotta keep in mind number one. Keeping in mind that nothing has the power to hurt you until you attach significance to it. Okay? To determine why somebody did something to you is to make it really important to you. Why would you make it really important to you? Because you made a judgment. To give it importance, that's when the problem arises.
Number two, to make that event important is to give it the power to hurt him. When you make something important, it now has the power to hurt you. You are gonna walk to your car today at some point and you're gonna walk through hundreds of people. Some will shake your hand or won't shake your hand. Some will smile at you and won't smile at you. Some will come over and talk to you, some won't talk to you. So what you gonna do? Make a judgment on every person let does or doesn't? Some people do. Some people are so judgmental. They'll tell their friend, "Yeah, I went to Springs Church today and probably four or five hundred people didn't shake my hand". Really? You're gonna make that event, that significant to you? "Well, yeah. Yeah"!
And you watch some people, they're so judgmental. They think they have a gift. Their spidey senses know things about people. "I could tell who didn't like me. I could tell it was how short I am or it's my struggle with the English language or whatever it is. So to make an event important to you is to give it the power to hurt you. If brother, this bro I don't shake his hand and he can't get it out of his mind. He tells his wife. He tells his kids. He tells his friends. At work he's talking about it. Tomorrow he's on the phone telling a friend of his and he's chatting with other volunteers saying, "You know, I don't know what's going on here". But he is creating this event and giving it so much importance. That now, this thing has huge ability to hurt him once he applies what he believes which is the judgment.
So number three, another person's actions are only as important to you as a judgment you pass. You gotta keep your brain going today because that is, you'll lose me. Another person's actions are only as important to you as the judgments you pass on them. If bro says, "Ah, he didn't see my hand. I'm so much taller than him. He must probably looking at my hand". Or and laughing forget about it. It's a done thing. But if he passes a judgment and he says, "Leon, has an issue with me". I think it's this. He doesn't know but he's judged my motive for not shaking his hand.
As we go through some of these things, you are gonna find out how the human race messes up so many relationships. Now, once he attaches a judgment. Once he goes, "I know why Leon didn't shake my hand. It's because I remember back one time when someone probably told him, and you know what? Yeah, that's why". Once he attaches a judgment, now he begins to feel pain between him and I. He'll come to church and he'll see me. Oh, I didn't walk over and shake his hand again next Sunday. Oh, now that he thinks about it, he actually sent a card out and I didn't even respond to him.
Oh, see, once a judgment is passed, your brain begins to gather all the evidence it can to support its hypothesis, to support its judgment. You can talk to somebody who has judged a friend, judged their spouse. And when they get done giving you the evidence, you're convinced, too. It can't be these many things going on but actually, none of it is true. You simply have given an event great importance which now has great ability to hurt you. You have passed a judgment and now that you've passed a judgment, you literally are gonna begin to have strife between you and that person.
All right, here's a fourth thing to think about. The judgment that you make based on your decision about why he did what he did is a choice. It's your decision. It has nothing to do with his spidey sense. God's not gonna show him my heart. If God forbids judging people's heart, why would He show him my heart? He doesn't. Sorry to all people who think they have the gift of discernment or those who are here thinking that, "You know, I'm like a cop. God gives me a real gift. I know what's going on in people's hearts". Lie. And if you really are getting data, it's not coming from God.
So now, who's messing with you? All right? The judgment that you make is simply your decision based on your history, based on your insecurities, based on what you're going through. And you make this decision and you now are destroying this relationship because you have made a judgment. Do you see how often couples can do that? They do with their kids, their son-in-law, brothers, friends. And people, the more judgmental you are, the better you are at judging people.
Now, here's what that person will sound like. "Yeah, I mean, this is really a messed-up church. I can find something wrong with everybody here". You kind of go, "Really? I don't even think that way. I'm looking for the good things. I'm looking for joy, happiness, and peace and great friendship. And you're looking for what problems"? Oh, yes. Yeah, I have a gift. You do. Yes, I have a gift. You put me in somebody and no time fly. I'll find out. I'll see. I'll sense. I will know. I have discernment. It's not even a Biblical gift, okay. And you're using it wrong.
All right, the fifth thing I'll put, the degree of insult or pain that you experience from the actions of another is based solely on the judgment you pass. It's not based on actual pain. Nobody can do something to you and make you feel pain. All they can do is do something to you and there's no pain until you judge what they do. Once you judge what they do, the degree of judgment and how big you've made this incident blow up in your own head. That's the degree of pain that you feel. You know, when counseling with people from there, you know, people who have mommy issues and daddy issues, it's amazing to me how some people can be horribly abused and find freedom in no time. And others can be hardly anything done to them and that they're marred the rest of their life. Because it's not exactly what happen, it's more your judgment of it.
So I'm glad I'm using my bro here because like it can gives you an example. But if he continues to think about this and he continues to build it up. Now, the more you focus on something the bigger it gets. That's what the Bible says in Psalm 34, O magnify the Lord with me and let us exalt His name together. So when you magnify God, you're not making God bigger. You're making your experience of God bigger. When you worship God, and you sing about God. I mean, faith rises, hope rises, worship rises, blessing rises, because you're focused on God.
So when you focus on a hurt, when you focus on an assume painful thing that you judge. It gets bigger and bigger and bigger. And it will go something like this, "Yeah, you know, a year ago Leon walked right past me. He didn't shake my hand. I had my hand up. There's no way he didn't see it. Cameras will prove it. I went back and checked the cameras on this one and he didn't. And, you know, as I've been looking him. There's just a pride and an arrogance about that man. That I think his best days are over. I don't think the Word of God is being preached like it should be. I believed there's a problem with his heart. I believe because of that, that it's just a sign. I'm glad that I have noticed that. I am now protecting the rest of the people from getting to the church in. I've actually helped some people leave that I think they're gonna hurt by this arrogant".
Like, you'd be surprised where this thing goes because you do it to your family. All of us do. All of us are trained judgers. The only way to fix it is to unwire it, is to go to God's Word and make a decision. The degree of pain he suffers isn't to the degree I didn't shake his hand. I didn't shake his hand. I didn't shake his hand. I really didn't shake his hand. No. What I do did not bring pain. It is the judgment of what I did that brings pain.
Listen to me, some of you here are so messed up in the head simply because you're the worst judgers around. And the more you judge, the worse it gets, until such confusion begins to dominate your life. You can't tell what is a judgment and what is truth. People who judge like this, do not hear from God. They lessen their ability to sense God. They lessen their ability to make wise decisions because their judgment almost becomes their gift, they think. And because they're sure that when they judge, "Yeah, that's not gonna last". They actually have all these negative judgments. The degree of insult or pain experienced from the actions of another got nothing to do with the action and everything to do with the judgment that you pass.
Number six, the judgment that you pass. The judgment that you make as to why he did it, what was his motives, what are his intentions. Okay, the judgment you pass is your assumption. There's no way for you to know because God will not show you another person's heart when He has forbidden you to judge another person's heart. So when you go there, it's not accurate. It is guaranteed inaccurate. It's an assumption. These assumptions though you believe are real. Once you believe that your judgments are real, you live a life of believing a lie.
Let me ask you a question. What's the beauty of truth is that when you believe truth, it brings freedom. And you will know the truth and the truth will make you free. So when you become a person who judges, you literally are removing yourself from all ability to know truth, to see truth, to experience truth. And because you can no longer experience freedom, you are now experiencing confusion. Is anybody with me so far? And I'm taking you somewhere. This is crucial. It's an important thing.
Number seven, once you've passed a judgment on somebody, it now causes you to react inappropriately. So he has made this experience of me not shaking his hand so big, talked about it so much, that it's now has the great ability to hurt him that he passed a judgment. He's become arrogant. He's become proud. You know, and so now he's treating me differently. So when I meet him, it's like, and I'm sensing in the he walks by me, the way he looks at me. If I engage him in conversation, he's not this amazing man that I knew. He's talking down to me. He's evasive. I even see him avoiding me and I can tell there's a problem here. So he begins to react to me differently. Okay?
Now, anytime you have an action, you have sowing and reaping. Okay? So if you come on stage, and I push you. You're gonna push back or fall over. So he begins to act differently to me. I begin to act differently towards him. Even if I don't judge him just out of wisdom. If a person is getting weird around me, and I don't judge him back. I just say, "I need to be careful. I'm not sure what's going on. So I'm just gonna give him some space".
You know, I don't have to. If I walk towards me. He walks the other way. When I do see him, he's like I sense this stuff. So I don't know what bro's going through. Now, if I'm smart, I'll ask him. Okay? And then that way we can deal it right away. So passing a judgment causes you to react inappropriately. There are relationships here right now, marriages, between children and parents, etcetera. And you don't realize that somewhere down the road a judgment has been passed. It could be something like, "They don't love me like they used to. They're getting like this". And the second that you judge them, you will react differently, and they will know it. How many have been around somebody and you just, you know that the air is dirty, but something is wrong. All of us can sense things.
And so once you've made a judgment, there'll always be an action. Little or big that action will have a reaction. And now this relationship has sowing and reaping that goes into repetitive cycle. And every time we see each other, we both begin to realize there's something wrong here. And if we don't have, neither of us has the wisdom to deal with it, then either this relationship is going south. And if you're married, you're in big dodo because neither of you will fix this thing and it's going somewhere and it's all because judgment. Usually people judge back. So judge, judging goes back. Now you've got both judging the other and the other person is again, it literally giving you evidence that you're right.
So number eight, I've already said it. But the combination of our judgments and then our unacceptable behavior begins the cycle of sowing and reaping.
Number nine, the last thought and then we'll just close up. Giving up the right to judge would break the cycle. Giving up the right to judge would break the cycle of the pain and the torment and it would save so many relationships. We have to understand, that the Bible is the most brilliant book you're ever gonna find about how to build relationships. In fact, I've not figured divided it up, but the Bible is the authority on building relationships in families, building relationships with neighbors, solving problem with angry people. What do you do for generations? You know, this whole book is about relationships. Your relationship with God. Your relationship with your spouse. Your relationships with generations. Your relationship with people. Your relationship with a bad deal in business. Your relationship in a country or under similar laws.
The entire Bible is about relationships. Christianity is about relationships. Your relationship with God. There are people here right now, you and God are not close. And you want to know why? You've judged God. How do I know you've judge God? Because you've asked yourself why did God allow this to happen in my life? What's the word? Why. When you judge, it's gonna bring pride. It's gonna bring control. It's gonna bring a whole host of things you don't want in a relationship. Stop judging and they'll be a peace that begins to come to you and then to your relationships.