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Leon Fontaine - Escaping Lonliness


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When you study many of what's going on today in psychology, psychiatry, dealing with the human race, it's belief systems, patterns. What goes on from country to country. Why we have people who blow themselves up. There's just a massive study of the human race, of the human mind, the human belief systems. How people think? Why they get the way they get. What causes them? Is it nature? Is it nurture? What causes people to live and be the way they are? And it's fascinating the amount of books that are out there by brilliant men and women who are taking a part this whole issue of why do people become the way they are.

One of the things that, is not just emerging now but is really rapidly growing is the amount of studies and the amount of experts who are talking about this feeling of belonging that is missing in the human race. I've been reading different articles by different authors and some of them well established psychologist and experts. They'll say things like, "Until you deal with the issue, that you're never gonna feel like you belong. Until you accept that and recognize that you're never gonna feel that way. You can be truly yourself, alone, not belonging. And then you can truly be free". And you can see they're thinking that because of what they have sense and what they study and what people are like. But there is a massive disconnect in the world today and every generation puts different words to it.

They study loneliness and the definition that they come up with loneliness is a perceived social isolation. It's a feeling of being disconnected from the people around you. It's so bad that some of the stats that I'm finding about this disconnection, this feeling like I don't belong. It doesn't matter in my own family, in my own marriage, in the church that I attend. I just feel disconnected. It's like I don't fit. I don't belong. And so they were studying the impact, this has on dying younger. The impact this has on a life that ends sooner. And here's some of the stats they gave. It's very interesting. They found that pollution have a 5% effect on the death rate and how quickly you'll die. It affects how long you live, 5%. Obesity, at 20% impact on the length of your life. Excessive drinking, 30% impact on your life.

Loneliness and a feeling of disconnected, 45%. Ain't that interesting? That they're doing stats and studies that all of this I could have shown them in the Bible. People who have this overwhelming feeling of loneliness, disconnection, I don't belong. They made brutal decisions in life. They make changes. They'll switch up. And as you study the Bible, it's interesting that even Christian pastors teach this. Have you ever heard the teaching like, "We're just strangers looking for a city whose builder is God, just passing through this world of woe believing that one day we'll be home".

Now, there's some truth to that, okay? But if you take it too far, you create an entire race of believers who are trying to get off the planet. Blow a trumpet, come in the clouds. All this end time doctrines. Many of them were just formulated in the late 1700's, early 1800's. Early church didn't even have many of the end time doctrines that are being espoused in many of the books that are out there today and it's all an escapism. Like, we know Jesus is coming back. But churches will just thrive on teaching about the four horses or one horse or two horses or three horses. And when is He coming back? And there's a Mark of the Beast on them, and there's a prophet, and there's a harlot, and there's this. And they got all this doctrine that they think, and they packed into this end time stuff. And people will pack out church after church and they just do end times, end times, end times, end times. And there's a craziness to it because it feeds this sense of Christians and believers not belonging on the planet.

So why would I come up and be a Prime Minister? Why would I rise up and build companies that can change the whole financial direction of a church, of a ministry? Why would I rise up and impact the education system as a professor? We're just strangers passing through. This is not our world. We know, we're just strangers in another land. And this is Old Testament. Read Hebrews and you'll find that in Hebrews 11:13-16 it talks about these people whose faith they believed God, but they were looking for a city whose builder and maker was God. Where it just talked about the world was not worthy of these great men and women, prophets of old, people of faith who didn't see the fulfillment of their faith. That they knew through prophecy that ahead was gonna be a connection, ahead God was gonna be with His people. There was gonna be something unique.

And many of the Pharisees and Sadducees were looking at it as a physical government, as a physical country as he established Israel. But yet, when you study this, it's amazing to me how many places I go that people in the world feel disconnected. They feel lonely. They feel like they don't belong. And because of that if you go to Galatians chapter 5 and it talks about the world of the flesh. It will talk about partying and drunkenness and sexuality. It will talk about this whole area of trying to pursue pleasure to get rid of the sense of loneliness. I don't belong. And people are walking away from marriages, walking away from families, friendship circles, churches, because they perceived they're not connected. They don't belong.

And I wanna deal with that today with you. Because as soon as you go through something, one of Satan's greatest temptations is this feeling of something is changed. I don't belong here, in your marriage. Something's changed, I don't belong in this church anymore. Something is changed, and men will walk away from family and kids, women will walk away from homes and family and even walking away from careers. Man, of all the people in the counseling offices over the years, who when you really begin to talk with them and they have all this stuff. And of course, then God gets involved. It's amazing how God changes His mind. One of the greatest temptation you're gonna face in everything that you do, your relationships, your families, the family of God, the call on your life, is to deal with this sense of disconnection. I don't belong.

It's one of Satan's greatest tricks. And if we keep preaching this from pulpits, we're gonna create and help the enemy. Make people feel like, you know, wondering through feeling alone, like we're strangers in another land looking for a builder who's, you know, who's made a city for us. Jesus has a home and one day we're gonna go there. Now, the Bible says occupy until He comes. It doesn't mean feel like we're gotta sorts. We'll just gonna hold the fort until Jesus comes back. Oh, no. He says rise up. Use your talents and gifts. Multiply them, double them, triple them, quadruple them. You know, there's a big difference of 10 plus 10, 10 x 10, and 10 to the 10th power. Oh, you mathematicians, big difference. 10, help me out with this, okay? Because I didn't write this one down. But 10 plus 10 is 20. 10 x 10 is a 100. 10 to the 10th power is billions. Billions! And billions! When we talk about God's power, we're not talking about addition. We're not talking about just multiplication. 10 to the 10th power is 10 x 10 x 10 x 10 x 10 x10 x 10 x 10 x 10 x 10.

When we talk about God's power, it's amazing. It's incredible. But the church has literally made this decision that, you know, we're just kind of floating through life, waiting for this thing to end and take us home sweet Jesus. Instead of owning. Instead of taking apart, recognize this is my country. The earth is the Lords. My daddy made the planet. You know, there's times we look at something gorgeous, whether it's an ocean, whether it's a mountain. And you just kind of go, "Wow". And it doesn't make me feel at all like, "You know, well, this is just a planet. One day when we go to heaven. I'm just a stranger passing through". No. It makes me go, "My dad made this planet". When I look at cities and I see all the roads and the streets and the beauty and the incredible things from food to movies to architecture. You just see the incredible creativeness of mankind. I go, "God the Father put that in you and I". And if you think one day you're gonna go to heaven and you're gonna just sit there and play harp.

You have to understand something. It's a unique thing and it's hard to figure out because it's not completely clear. But it talks about this new Jerusalem and it talks about Him making this earth a brand-new earth, brand-new heavens and this a billion to go back and forth. In the future this earth is gonna be rebuilt and remade. It's not something that we're just passing through and we're just strangers and we're not connected, and we don't belong. This world is just for those who are lost, their culture, the big bad world. Get your head on straight. How are we ever gonna rise up and go into education and movies and help every person who's got gifts and abilities and skills to rise up and do something great for God if you're just a stranger passing through.

You know, growing up as a Christian kid, I was always haunted by loneliness. I'd heard preachers preached it all the time. We're strangers. That's why I feel like this. There's times I would stand back, and I just watched and just feel disconnected. I remember sitting in church and just feeling as a young man like I don't belong. What's wrong with me? And as you go on, because I want to get through a bunch of stuff and haven't got much time. I'm gonna just quote and give you verses. When you go into Romans chapter 8, it's interesting. That to be carnally minded, to be earthly minded, to be this world minded, will bring death. That is where this loneliness, disconnection, I don't belong. Some of you have fed off that your whole life and never giving yourself permission to belong, to reach out and embrace people, to love people.

And so because you live in this place of disconnection, I don't belong. I don't know why I'm different. No, you're not. It's the same trick he placed on every husband, every wife, every church member, every pastor, every leader, everything out there, just to make you feel like you don't belong. And churches try so hard to make people feel connected. Let's build community. Let's do knitting and let's do sports. I have no problem with getting people to feel but you're never gonna get someone to feel connected until they begin to connect to Jesus Christ. Until they have a connection with the relationship between them and God. Look at Adam and Eve in the garden, incredible connection, incredible belonging, incredible love, beautiful lives.

And one mistake and they disconnected from God and everything became disconnected. They hid from God. They got behind bushes. God's walking around and going, "Adam! Where are you"? I'm here because I'm naked. In other words, you're not gonna want me. I don't belong anymore walking beside You, God". Sin. This whole sin nature is all about disconnecting people from God. He's making you feel that way, act that way. There are people here right now, who, you gotta be careful because the enemy is gonna make you feel smug like, "Well, I just attend because I like a bit. But, you know, to really plug in and get involved". No. You have been tempted out of your call. You've been tempted out of the local church. The very entity that Jesus has created to reach the world. You're no longer, you're just kind of on the outside looking in because you're different. You don't feel that you connect.

That's one of the greatest demonic tricks on the planet. How come the entire population plays mind games? Why in marriage is there so much mind games? Why are people doing things to manipulate? You know, the only difference between manipulating somebody and leading somebody for leaders because it's the same skill set. It's the motive that comes out of their heart. Why are they working you? Do they love you, care about you, want you to succeed, want you? Or there's just something they need. When people don't feel like they belong, when they don't feel like they're connecting, when they're feeling lonely. They make the worse decisions of their lives. And they'll continue to make them for the rest of their life, until a relationship with God is strong and healthy. How do you know it's strong and healthy? Because the fruit of the spirit rises up, a sense of connection, a sense of belonging, a sense of, "Yeah! God is so good. I love people. This is amazing". As soon as you begin to feel disconnected, lonely, I don't belong, whatever has caused it. The enemy is messing with you.

In John 14:15-21, Jesus is talking here. And He's talking about Him leaving and Holy Spirit coming. And sometimes these Pentecostals and Charismatics, we miss one of the most crucial things Holy Spirit does for us. We think about miracles and healings and signs and wonders and all the incredible things that Holy Spirit does in our lives with the gifts of the Spirit. But listen to the very first type of things Jesus says. He says, I will not leave you orphans. What? I will not leave you orphans. I will come to you. When you talk about somebody who's an orphan a few of my friends have been raised in foster homes and I've had conversations and even interviewed people on television, who came from brutal upbringings. An orphan is where mom and dad died or get rid of them, dropped that baby off and that child doesn't have parents. And they have an orphaned feeling. They have an orphaned sense.

And here Jesus is talking to 12 healthy men between the ages of 16 to 25. The 12 disciples who come from healthy Jewish families. This was his doctors, fishermen, you know, great wives, families, homes. Why would He say to them, that I don't wanna leave you orphan? Because they had three years of hanging out with Jesus in a physical body. Watching Him walked on water, watching Him fed the hungry, watching Him share about the kingdom, just to be in the presence of Jesus must have been the must intoxicating, amazing. What's He gonna do next? What is Jesus gonna do? And He is about to leave. You know, the loss of any relationship causes a readjustment because you feel like you've lost a spouse if they've gone to be with Jesus. Or divorce, you know, as you try to rebuild your life around this. Jesus is saying I will not leave you orphans. And then He goes on to talk about Holy Spirit, for chapters He talks about Holy Spirit.

And when you begin to recognize Holy Spirit on the inside of you, it's because of what He does. That the change that makes you have this incredible sense of belonging. This amazing sense of, "I'm here in the center of God's will. It's amazing! I'm gonna love people, especially the household of faith. It's gonna be about them. I'm gonna raise them up and help them be all they can be". When you begin to look at the family of God and what Holy Spirit does, this incredible inclusive, beautiful family feeling comes from Holy Spirit on the inside of us. He doesn't come because you found the right people to connect to, because your orphan heart will have you feeling you that don't belong there either. Everywhere you go, there you are.

You need to recognize the power of Holy Spirit. In Romans chapter 8, it says that the same spirit that raise Christ from the dead dwells in you. It will quicken your mortal body. And we use that for healing and that's true. But you need to use it as well for the emotional make up, for the health of your mind as you renew your mind to fulfill the call of God. There should be a change on the inside of you. There should be a feeling of, "I belong. This is my family". It's exciting what we're doing for God. But people who just feel disconnected, people who don't pursue this spirit-filled life they begin, even as born again spirit-filled people. They begin to go back to the old feelings, this disconnection, this I don't belong, looking for something else. I'm looking for a city whose maker -, No. You have found it.

Let me read you an incredible verse in Ephesians 2:19. It's a verse that so few Christians recognize it's in the Bible, as they feel fine to be disconnected, removed, not plugged in. It says, "Now, therefore, you are no longer strangers. You are no longer foreigners". Well, just a minute. He's talking to people who haven't gone to heaven yet. They haven't gone to the new Jerusalem. They're not in this place called heaven. That's because we are in the kingdom now. Jesus Christ is on the inside of us. He has forgiven us. He lives within us. And we've got to recognize that we're now in the family.

This rejection, this disconnection, this loneliness which feeds so much depression. It feeds mood altering things. It feeds all that is going on in people's lives as they struggle to even believe their marriage. I probably married the wrong person and the season is over. All this stuff that comes against is an enemy trying to get you off of what God has called you to. He's trying to isolate you. He's trying to change you. You know, David through the Psalm has a phrase that has kept me through so many seasons and we sing songs about it. He said, "I shall not be moved". It's interesting. In Psalm 16 is one of the chances he says, and he says, "I will bless the Lord who has given me counsel. My heart instructs me in the night seasons. I have set the Lord always before me". And it says, "Because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices. My flesh also will rest in hope. For You will not leave my soul in Sheol, nor will You allow Your Holy One to see corruption. In Your presence is fullness of joy. At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore".

Listen to me, church. If you feel disconnected. If you feel like you don't belong. If you feel like you're struggling through something. I want you to know, that's your flesh talking. That's your flesh talking. And the Bible says in Romans chapter 8, to be fleshly minded is what? Death. They've proven it 45% is gonna affect the length of your life, if you continue to feel this disconnection, loneliness. "Well, I just haven't found the right people".

Yeah, I've counseled with lots of people like that. They never find the right people. The problem was always with people. They never again find a good friend to be a friend because everyone's gonna hurt them and they hurt them. And they always tell the story they shouldn't. They always break confidence. They're never there for them. And I go, "Maybe this is you". They don't wanna hear that. It's never them. It's everybody else. But I'm promising you. It's you. Because my feeling of connection, my feeling of belonging, I don't give it to you. You're happy with me today, not happy with me tomorrow. I'm gonna rejoice and feel like I belong to the family of God, on the inside of me is a connection to Jesus Christ, and Holy Spirit continues to cry out within. Every believer, Abba! Father!
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