Kerry Shook - Detoxing My Thinking
We are in this series that we just started, which I’m calling «Detoxing Your Life,» because we all have these toxic habits as we go through life. We all pick up some unhealthy ways of relating as we navigate through life, and those unhealthy ways hinder our relationships. But the good news is that God can give us the power to develop habits that detox our lives. Today, we’re talking about detoxing our thinking-detoxing our thoughts-because that’s where unhealthy habits come from.
I’ve heard that the average person has around 60,000 thoughts every day, and 80% of those thoughts are negative. The toxic self-talk inside our heads is actively working against us, and it usually starts first thing in the morning when we’re looking in the mirror or getting dressed in the closet. That voice starts echoing in our mind: «I’m not right; I wish I looked different; I’m defective,» or «What if I screw up that presentation today? I’m sure someone else could do it much better. I wish I was more like her or more like him; they are so gifted.» Or we find ourselves in a social setting, meeting someone important or someone we really respect, and after saying something, that voice in our head says, «That was dumb. They must think you’re an idiot. You’re so awkward. You don’t have what it takes.»
The toxic thoughts just keep building up in our minds throughout the day: «God is so disappointed in you. You just can’t get it right. You’ll never overcome this. You’ll never change. God can’t use you. You’re just not worth much. You’re defective. You’re unlovable. You’ll never be enough. You’ll never measure up.» Our toxic self-talk starts to take hold and manifests in toxic habits that poison our lives and relationships. Many Christ followers don’t even realize that most of our toxic thoughts come from a toxic enemy. The Bible tells us that many of our toxic thoughts are just lies that our enemy, Satan, puts into our minds. When we start to believe them, they affect us in many negative ways.
Not all of the negative voices in our minds are from the enemy. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. We have a negative thought, allow it to form a loop that runs repeatedly in our minds, and the toxic thoughts take hold, which the enemy exploits and turns into a stronghold. We allow the lies of the enemy to create negative ruts in our brains-what the Bible calls strongholds. These strongholds take root in our minds and hold us back. We get stuck in these strongholds, and these lies become so ingrained that we don’t even question them; we believe them as facts. The only way to break free is to let God tear down the strongholds and detox our thoughts.
So would you stand in honor of God’s Word? We’re going to look at our key passage: 2 Corinthians 10:3. Just follow along: «For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.» You can be seated.
In this passage, we see that we are in a spiritual battle for our minds, and it’s the most important fight you’ll ever face because your mind is your greatest asset. The enemy knows that, so he uses toxic lies to try to gain ground. We have all let him take ground that keeps us stuck in some area of our lives. But I’m so grateful that God shows us in this passage how to take that ground back and fill our minds with life-giving truth. I want us to really break this passage down and dig in because the Bible is so amazing -it speaks to exactly where we are today, and God wants to change those negative thought patterns in our mind so He can change our lives and relationships.
Let’s go back. The last part of that passage says, «And we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.» What does it mean to take captive every thought? That word «captive» in Greek was a military term meaning to take captive like a soldier capturing an enemy in war. You capture the enemy soldier so they’re now under control and can’t inflict any more harm. Taking your thoughts captive means taking control of your thoughts and making them submit to Christ’s truth, rather than allowing them to keep inflicting harm in your life. It’s about taking control and making them submit to Christ’s truth instead of letting them run wild in your mind.
When our daughter was in junior high, one night she came down to our bedroom and said, «There’s something making a noise on my ceiling.» I thought, «Honey, you’re probably just hearing that,» but then I recalled those paranormal shows on television-don’t watch those shows! So, we went upstairs to check it out. After listening for a few minutes, we suddenly heard a loud thumping noise on the ceiling, and then the thump started moving across the ceiling. We discovered there was a whole family of raccoons that had come into our attic through a soffit that had been opened and had made a nice home up there- a mom and all these little babies that were so cute, but we wanted them out! So, we called someone who captures raccoons and other wild animals, takes them back into the wild, and sets them free. You know those guys, right? They' re wonderful.
He came over, set a large trap in the attic, and opened up a can of tuna fish, placing it in the middle of the trap. He said, «This works every time. This is going to catch these raccoons. Once they’re in the cage, they’re caught. Just give me a call; I’ll come pick them up.» He assured us it would work. That night, we heard all this loud rattling and banging in the attic, then it went silent after about ten minutes. We thought the raccoons must have been caught and were trying to get out, finally getting tired and giving up. The next morning, I went up into the attic, and there was an empty cage with an empty can of tuna sitting right next to it. One of the raccoons had picked up the cage, shaking it until the can of tuna fell out and devoured it! I was surprised he didn’t leave me a note mocking me. Those raccoons are crafty, that’s for sure.
They ran wild in our attic for another couple of months until Chris read online that if you pour some ammonia on a sponge and place it in the attic, they’ll leave. They think a larger animal is present, and sure enough, it worked! Now, I know some of you out there are glad you heard this message today. It’s not going to help you get your life in order, but it is going to help you get a raccoon out of the attic. It really works; I promise you that’s all you' ll remember from this message.
So many times, we let our thoughts run wild in the attic of our minds. It might be the wild animal of worry. A worried thought comes into your mind, maybe about the economy or an anxious thought about a relationship, or a worried thought about your kids. The wild animal of worry starts running rampant in your mind, bringing its whole family to live rent-free in the attic of your mind and you lose your peace. You can’t sleep, and your worry is worthless, as it can’t help you change the past or control the future. All it does is keep you from enjoying the present. Worry is worthless.
To take our thoughts captive means we capture the wild animal of worry. We capture the wild animal of negativity. We capture the lies from the toxic thoughts and submit them to Christ’s truth so they don’t run wild in our minds. And here’s the key: Don’t believe everything you think. Don’t believe everything you feel. You don’t just accept every thought because it came into your mind. You take that thought and place it in the light of God’s truth to see if it’s true or not because you don’t want to believe a lie from the enemy. You take every thought captive, but you don’t condemn yourself for every thought. You don’t believe everything you think, but you don’t beat yourself up for everything that crosses your mind-whether it’s a weird thought, a gross thought, or a dark thought. You can’t help that. We all have strange thoughts throughout the day.
When you have a strange thought, act like a third person: «That was a weird thought; I’m not going to pay any attention to that.» This is a weird thought that went through my mind; that was kind of awful, but that’s just weird. It’s not me, and you just move on. Maybe you have a negative thought that comes into your mind; it very well could be the enemy, and that’s probably a lie. You want to take that negative thought and say, «God, I give that thought to You. Help me put it in the light of Your truth to ensure I don’t believe a lie.»
When a negative thought comes in, like «Man, I’ll never have what it takes; I don’t have the gifts they have; I don’t look right,» you catch it right then and there because you know that’s a lie from the enemy. If you don’t do that, you start believing those lies without questioning them. They just feel like facts. Don’t believe everything you think. The most destructive thoughts are the lies Satan tells us; over time, we start to believe them, and we believe them for so long they become entrenched in our minds, feeling like facts. We don’t even notice when they come into our minds; we just think it’s part of us.
Look at John 8: 44: «He, Satan, has always hated the truth because there’s no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.» Satan is a liar and the father of lies. Our enemy, Satan, is always putting lies in our mind. The problem is we usually don’t recognize those thoughts as something the enemy inserted; we think it’s just us thinking those thoughts. We naively believe what we think. Over time, the rut begins to develop in our minds, and we start living based on a lie.
Our enemy, Satan, always twists the truth. He’ll tell you a partial truth but then twist it into a devastating lie because the Bible says he’s a beautiful angel of light. He’s not someone dressed in a red suit with a long tail, horns, and a pitchfork-no, he’s a beautiful angel of light. He will place a beautiful thought in your mind that is perfectly true, but then he’ll twist it into a lie. It only takes a little bit of toxin, a few lies mixed with something pure, to poison the whole thing. Satan is crafty.
I don’t want to compare him to a raccoon, but he is indeed crafty. Maybe you’re a Christ follower struggling with a sin you’re trying to overcome. The enemy will come in and say, «You really messed up. Didn’t you really mess up? Yeah, you really messed up, didn’t you? I mean, you’re stuck.» But then, he’ll also say, «God is so frustrated with you. God’s not going to forgive you anymore. You can’t be used of God. God doesn’t have a purpose for you anymore. He’s so tired of you coming back to Him, asking for forgiveness for the same old sin.»
Now, the first part is true: you really messed up; you’re stuck. But the second part is a devastating lie: «God won’t forgive you for this. You can never be used of God again. You’re a mess; you’ll never overcome this sin.» The truth is, God is just waiting for you to come to Him in repentance so He can forgive your sin and affirm you with His undeserved grace. His love for you never changes. If you believe the lie, you’ll get stuck in shame.
As a believer, when you sin, the Holy Spirit will convict you. He’ll show you how devastating your sin is and how much it hurts Him and you, and it will hurt your relationships. You’ll feel the pain of the Holy Spirit’s conviction if you’re a Christ follower. But that conviction is meant to lead you to Christ for His undeserved forgiveness so you can experience that love again.
When you sin, Satan will shame you. It’s not conviction; it’s shame. He’ll tell you not only was your sin bad, but you’re bad, and God loves you less because of your sin. He’ll also tell you that your struggle is so bad you better not tell anyone. «Don’t you dare bring that into the light! You better hide your mess!» Once you start believing the lie, you get stuck in a cycle of shame that keeps you from getting closer to God. It keeps you stuck in the struggle over and over again.
The only way you can achieve victory over sin is to confess it to God and confess it to someone else you trust, bringing it into the light so that you have people who love you walking beside you. But Satan will put this toxic thought in your mind, and you’ll think it’s you thinking it: «I can’t tell anyone about my struggle; I’m probably the only one who’s struggling with this. Everyone down at church is happy; they don’t deal with this. My sin is so bad I can’t tell anyone.» If you believe the lie, you start hiding. But there’s no healing while hiding.
When you stop believing the lie, you come into the light. You feel the warmth of God’s forgiveness, admit your struggle to other Christ followers, and discover we’re all in this together. You start walking in victory. You stop believing the toxic lie, and you start becoming healthy in your life and in your relationships. The enemy’s voice is always sneaking into our minds, telling us lies repeatedly. But God’s voice of truth is also speaking to us. The problem is that those negative voices usually drown out God’s voice because we have listened to them for so long.
The more you listen to a voice, the louder that voice becomes. The more you listen to God’s voice, that still small voice grows louder and louder. You begin to recognize God’s voice much quicker, and the voice you believe will determine your actions. The voice you believe will dictate your behavior. You start believing a lie, and then you start acting out that lie.
Some of you are believing lies today. You’ve been believing them for so long you haven’t even questioned them, and they' ve affected your life and relationships. Don’t believe everything you think! Put it up against the light of God’s truth. Catch it, and start thinking about it now. Remember, the enemy is always trying to put lies in your mind. Catch it and hold it up to the light of God’s truth.
Now let’s look again at 2 Corinthians, because this is really important. We capture that thought, but we also need to do something else. In verse 4, it says, «The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.» So, we take our toxic thoughts captive, submitting them to Christ’s control so they don’t run wild in the attic of our minds. But we also have to demolish the stronghold with the power of Christ’s truth.
A stronghold is a toxic lie that we’ve believed for so long that creates a rut in our brains, producing toxic habits — all of which need healing. Brain science now tells us that when you focus on something, when you start believing something, it creates new connections in your brain, meaning your brain has to be rewired through different thinking, so you can act differently. These strongholds must be repaired, demolished, and something new must be built.
When we poured that ammonia on the sponge in the attic, we saw the raccoons crawl out of that soffit, the mother and those cute little babies, climb down onto the branches of one of our trees, walk down the fence line, and disappear. They never came back, and maybe one reason was because we got up there quickly and patched that soffit! If you don’t repair the soffit, the raccoons will keep coming back to run wild in your attic. If you don’t demolish the stronghold, you’ll keep reverting back to believing the lie, making the same mistakes with the same toxic habits over and over again, wondering why everyone you date is a narcissistic loser. You’ve dated nine narcissistic losers in a row and you can’t believe God has allowed you to do that! It’s like, «God, what are you doing in my life?»
God is saying, «There’s a toxic lie you’re believing that attracts you to losers so you can rescue them.» For sure you’re believing the lie that you can change another person who doesn’t want to change. If you keep jumping from job to job, church to church, maybe even spouse to spouse, or if you always blame your problems on other people, pointing fingers at someone else for your unhappiness, you’re accepting the toxic lie that happiness is dependent on changing your circumstances. That’s a toxic lie from the enemy. Even if you change cities, jobs, houses, or even spouses, you’ll still be the same unhappy person. Happiness comes from within-a change in your inward being, not from external circumstances. You can be wealthy and unhappy, or poor and unhappy. It does not matter what’s on the outside.
There are many toxic lies that we allow to become strongholds, which affect the way we live. We keep making the same toxic mistakes over and over again without ever examining the inside; it’s all about what’s going on outside us. And God says, «Look at the inside because I want to heal and demolish those strongholds. I want to heal those places in your life where you’ve been believing lies for so long that you' ll revert back to them if you don’t let Me heal them.»
I want to focus on two stronghold lies that most of us struggle with. The first is: «My worth is determined by how I perform.» Some of you started running on the treadmill of performance at a young age and discovered that the faster you ran, the better you felt about yourself. Others looked at you with more value. Maybe you had a parent who demonstrated more love, attention, or excitement in their eyes when you brought home great grades or excelled in sports. So, you realized that the faster you perform on the treadmill of achievement, the more your worth rises.
As you entered adulthood, you continued running on this treadmill of success. You noticed your worth increased in others' eyes the more successful you became: «Wow, look at them! They must be brilliant; they’re so talented!» You started receiving recognition or gaining followers, feeling more valuable. But when you tie your worth to your performance, it will wear you out and usually end in burnout, because you need to keep it going. You must keep it going, as your value is tied to it, so if you slow down, your value goes down.
That’s why you should never tie your self-worth to a job. Yes, working is something God wants us to do. He wants us to do our best, and it feels good to give your best. That’s a wonderful thing. There’s something truly worshipful about work, but if you tie your self-worth to your job and lose it, you’ll lose your self-worth. Or if you retire and lose your value because maybe you were really important in that job, you might find that people don’t notice or seek your advice as much anymore, and you feel diminished.
As a Christ follower, your real worth comes from your true identity in Christ-knowing who you are in Christ and who He has made you to be. Knowing your identity in Him, that you are an adopted child of the living God-He thinks you are worth dying for. Your worth is not determined by what you do, but by what Christ has already done for you on the cross.
If you are a believer, you have nothing to prove; you are already approved by the creator of the universe, the Almighty God. But this leads me to a second stronghold lie that many of us struggle with: «I need the approval of others to feel good about myself.» I need you to like me so I can like myself more; I need your approval to feel good about me. If you reject me, there must be something wrong with me. It’s one of Satan’s biggest lies, and when it becomes a stronghold, you become a people pleaser.
You’re always thinking, «What do they think about me? Were they happy about this? Were they upset about that?» It’s a toxic lie because winning everyone’s approval is impossible. If you try to do that, you will become a hypocrite and feel empty inside, acting one way with one group and another way with another. You can’t satisfy them if you don’t even know what you think, what you want, or what you believe.
If you’re a Christ follower, you are already approved. You don’t need to look for anyone else to approve of you; you just need to look at an audience of one. By the way, social media tends to strengthen and complicate both of these strongholds, making them much harder to break. Don’t compare yourself to someone else on social media, as you’re looking at their highlights and comparing them to your lowlights, thinking you' re a mess. You’re viewing their highlight reel while you’re behind the scenes and thinking, «Man, I feel like a failure compared to them.»
Even when people try to show they’re genuine and real, letting you peek behind the scenes, they’ve still curated that display. You aren’t seeing all the mess, I guarantee it. Many people try to win approval by constantly posting-they’re forever checking likes, followers, retweets, and all that stuff to see how well-liked they are, so they can feel good about themselves. If you have fewer followers, you end up feeling worse about yourself.
Look at 2 Corinthians 10:5; it gives us more principles: «We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God.» We tear down the stronghold lies that oppose God’s truth. In John 8:32, Jesus said, «And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.» It’s God’s truth that will demolish the stronghold when you start believing it.
So let’s go over who God says you are. If you’re a Christ follower, this is truth. The negative thoughts that come into your mind — those that you thought were self- talk — most of them are lies. You don’t live based on a lie because the voice you believe will determine how you behave. Let’s go over the truth of what God says about you.
First, God says, «I am His masterpiece.» Look up the references I’ve provided and maybe place them on your mirror or memorize a couple. God says, «I am His masterpiece.» That’s the truth. When I feel ugly, I choose to believe, «No, I’m a masterpiece created by God, knit together in my mother’s womb. God created me beautifully for a beautiful purpose; I am His masterpiece.»
Here’s another truth: «I am His chosen.» You can find that in Ephesians 1:3 -4. So when I feel rejected by someone, I say, «Who cares? No, I choose to believe the truth that I’m chosen by God, and that’s what matters-I’m approved by God.» Then I’m righteous and forgiven, so when I feel filthy in my sins, I say, «It doesn’t matter because I know the truth that I’m righteous and forgiven in Jesus Christ.»
I am completely loved. When I feel unlovable, I choose to believe the truth: «I’m totally loved by God.» I am strong and courageous. When I feel weak and afraid, I choose to believe the truth that I’m strong and courageous in Christ-that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I am more than a conqueror. When I feel like a failure, I choose to believe the truth: «I’m a conqueror. I am victorious in Christ.»
I challenge you this week to put this truth in your mind. Start learning these verses; these are just a few of the Bible verses that tell you who you are in Christ if you’re a Christ follower-your true identity. You’ll start living from that true identity. I’m telling you, the enemy tomorrow will try to hit you with those lies.
What do you do? You catch them. You’re going to remember today and tomorrow: «Wait a minute. That’s a thought that feels true, and I really feel it right now. I feel inadequate. I feel ugly. I feel worthless. I feel like I don’t have what it takes.» But you catch that thought because it’s a lie, and then you believe the truth.
These truths aren’t just something God says to encourage you with positive thinking; they are truth. The things you feel or think that go against God’s truth are lies. You put them up against the knowledge of God and the truth of God — that’s the true measure. When you do that, you begin to live out your true identity.
It’s essential to know your identity is in Christ -that’s who you are because of whose you are. Last month, Chris and I were running late to the airport to catch our flight. When we arrived, we thought we had plenty of time-the line wasn’t too long. We checked in our bags, and the agent asked for identification. I reached into my wallet to get my driver’s license, which is always on top, but it wasn’t there.
I thought, «I probably just put it behind some credit cards or something.» I quickly searched through my wallet, but my heart sank when it wasn’t there. I thought, «It has to be here.» I emptied my wallet, and Chris noticed something was wrong while checking her bag. The agent patiently awaited me, while I rummaged through everything- credit cards, insurance cards — nothing was missing except one thing: my driver’s license.
I thought, «God, why did you let my driver’s license disappear to teach me a lesson? I need it!» I wondered if somebody in the airport had reached into my wallet, stolen my driver’s license, then put the wallet back without me knowing. I was so frustrated, searching endlessly. Then I remembered, «Wait a minute, I think I have a copy of my passport in my bag!»
Sure enough, Chris had made a copy of our passports before we traveled abroad a few months prior, and I still had it in my backpack. I showed it to the agent and said, «Here’s my passport.» She kindly replied, «That’s not your passport; that’s a copy of your passport. I can’t accept that, but I’ll let you go through to security.» After checking our bags, she allowed me past to security-where they had to verify my identity.
I filled out a bunch of paperwork, and they called Homeland Security. I had to answer all sorts of questions about my childhood that I barely recalled. They knew everything about us; I’m telling you. They asked me all the questions correctly, but I was worried I was missing my flight.
Chris said, «Carrie, I’m going to go on through; I think I probably should.» I asked her, «What? You’re just leaving me? Have a nice trip!» She said, «No, I’m going on through, and I’ll tell them you’re coming, okay?» I pleaded, «Please tell them I’m on my way!» Finally, after all the scans and checks, they let me through security, and I was struck by the feeling of freedom upon emerging.
I found Chris waiting for me with Chick-fil-A and coffee! I mean, what a miracle! I told Chris, «I can’t believe you still love me even after I did something so stupid, and you brought me Chick-fil-A?!» I genuinely believe that when I get to heaven, God will meet me with Chick-fil-A because, you know, it’s going to be in heaven -just closed on Sundays, of course.
So, I told Chris, «If I get to heaven first, I’ll be waiting for you there with some Chick-fil-A when you come through the pearly gates!»
You see, I lost my identification card, but I didn’t lose my identity. I lost my driver’s license but didn’t lose who I am. I was still the same person-I’m still Carrie. My identity didn’t change, even if others didn’t recognize it. They acted like I was a drug dealer, but that wasn’t true.
You can lose your job, but you don’t lose your identity in Jesus Christ. You don’t lose who you are in Jesus Christ. You are approved, loved, and accepted in Jesus Christ. You can lose money, but you cannot lose your identity in Jesus Christ. You can lose a relationship, but you cannot lose your worth and value in Jesus Christ. You can lose followers on the internet, but you cannot lose the One you are following-Jesus Christ. Your identity is based in Him. You can lose friends, but you can’t lose your identity in Christ.
Do you believe that, church? Let’s live that! Let’s immerse our minds in that. Let’s live that!
Let’s stand together and pray to the One to whom we belong. We are in Christ, and Christ is in us, and that changes everything.
Dear God, we thank You for Your love for us. I know that each and every one of us needed this message; I know I needed it because I recognize that this afternoon and tomorrow, the enemy will put lies in my mind, and I’ll forget and think it’s just me thinking that. But help me, Lord, to capture those thoughts and put them against the light of Your truth. Help us all, Lord, to learn Your truth, memorize Your truth, confess Your truth, and believe Your truth so it fills in these ruts in our brains that those lies have caused.
Lord, help us to change our actions so we start living from our true identity -not from a lie, but living in Your voice and from Your truth, who we really are. Lord, do that in our lives this week. And I pray for those who feel rejected this week, that they would remember how approved they are-how accepted they are. I pray for those who feel like they’re never enough; maybe there’s someone in their family or life telling them they aren’t enough. Remind them, Lord, they are more than enough because You are more than enough.
I pray for those who feel they just don’t have what it takes; remind them they have You, and You are all that matters. You, Lord Jesus, can move any mountain, and all we have to do is put a little faith in You.
I thank You, Lord, that You have a plan and a purpose for everyone’s life. I pray for those Christ followers who believe they can never get back in Your will because of their mistakes, sins, or struggles. Remind them, Lord, that You still have a purpose and a plan, and nothing can derail Your purpose for their lives.
Lastly, I pray for those who have never received You, that they would quietly pray this prayer in their hearts to find their identity in You. Because, Lord, if they’ve never received You, You love them just as they are, but they’re not really Your child yet. You created them, but they’re not yet adopted sons or daughters of Yours.
So, I pray right now they would say this prayer: «Jesus Christ, come into my life. Forgive me of my sins. Be the Lord of my life. I thank You for Your salvation and undeserved grace. I accept Your free gift of heaven. Thank You that I’m now a child of Yours and that You will never reject me. Thank You that I am approved and righteous in You because of what You’ve done.» Help me follow You from now on.
For it’s in Jesus' name I pray, Amen.