Kerry Shook - The Sweetness of Forgiveness
We just started a new series that I'm calling "Lemonade," and it's all about how God brings something good out of all the sour circumstances, all the bitter disappointments, all the devastating and painful things that can come into our lives. And when we give those lemons in our life to God, he fill us with the sweetness of his unexplainable peace and then he opens our eyes to see that our greatest adversity is really our greatest opportunity for God to do a greater work in our lives. Your greatest adversity is really your greatest opportunity to grow. Your greatest adversity is really your greatest opportunity to go to a new level in life. It's your greatest opportunity for new blessings.
And by the way, the word "opportunity" comes from the Latin word "opportune," and the key part of that word is right there in the middle, "port," op-port-unity. And that's because the word was used to communicate that your boat was in the port and ready for you to board. And I really believe your ship is in port today. And it's just waiting for you to board. Your opportunity is waiting and all you have to do is take one step onto your boat and it's gonna take you where you wanna go. But that first step is scary. It's uncomfortable. It takes courage because the name of the ship is not "Opportunity"; it's "Adversity".
When it's in the harbor waiting for you, it's the SS Adversity. It's only when you take that step of faith onto the boat that the name changes to the SS Opportunity. And the greatest problem that you face today, I don't know what it is, but I know this: the greatest problem you're facing today is actually the boat of possibility that is in the port waiting for you, and all you have to do is just let God change your perspective just a little bit so that you'll see that and take that one step of faith onto the boat. Then the boat will take you to a place of deep and rich blessings that can never be taken away. And that's what this whole series is all about.
And this weekend, we're talking about one of our greatest opportunities to experience the sweetness of God's peace and to break free from the chains that hold us back. It's the sweetness of forgiveness. But I have to say, forgiveness is one of the hardest things to ever give. But when you take that one step on the boat of forgiveness, then you experience some of God's greatest blessings. So I want you to open your Bibles to Matthew chapter 6, verse 12. Would you stand in honor of God's Word and this is a short verse. It's in the middle of the Lord's Prayer where Jesus is teaching us how to pray: "Forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us".
Okay, you can be seated. Now, I gotta ask, "Do I really want to pray that prayer"? I mean, I'm all in on the first part of that prayer. Don't get me wrong. I mean, I'm all in on the part that says, "God, forgive me of my sins," because I know I need forgiveness. There's no question about that, and I really want God to forgive me of all my sins and mistakes and regrets. I want him to wipe the slate clean, when it comes to me. I want him to erase all of my sins and mistakes, but the second part of that prayer? Whoo, think about that. Do I really wanna pray, "God forgive me the way I forgive others"? I'd rather just pray, "God, forgive me and don't attach your forgiveness of me to the way I forgive other people who've hurt me".
Some of the greatest adversity you'll ever face in your life is when someone wrongs you, hurts you, stabs you in the back, betrays your trust, wounds you, sins against you. And at those times, it seems like it's impossible that God could ever take those kind of wounds and redeem them in any way, much less to take those very hurts and turn them into your greatest opportunity to experience his blessings. But it's true. Your greatest hurt is your greatest opportunity to experience God's healing in your life.
Now, God doesn't cause those kind of lemons to come into our lives, but there are times he allows them. And it can be devastating. It can be crushing. It's confusing because it's not fair. It's not your fault. You didn't choose them, you didn't get to choose them coming into your life. Someone else chose it for you and it just isn't fair. But then you have a choice. And it's a destiny-changing choice, for you see, whenever you're wronged or hurt in life, two boats pull into the port at the very same time. And you have to choose which boat you step on and you better choose carefully because it makes a world of difference in your life.
There's the boat of bitterness when you're hurt and wronged. You can step onto the boat of bitterness, but that boat will take you further and further away from God's mercy and God's grace. You will stay anchored to your hurt and chained to your past. It will poison your life and eventually that ship will sink. But then there's the boat of forgiveness, and when you step onto the boat of forgiveness, you have freedom. You break free from the chains of your past. You experience God's sweet peace and healing in your life. It changes everything. But I have to say that when you're hurt, when you're wronged, you'll step onto one of those boats. You don't really have a choice.
It's either the boat of bitterness or the boat of forgiveness and, with God's power, we can choose the boat of forgiveness that brings freedom and somehow God, when we step onto that boat, he takes that hurt and he turns it into healing, an opportunity for new blessings. Look at Hebrews 12:15. It says: "Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many". Focus on that phrase, "poisonous root of bitterness".
Hey, bitterness is a poison from the past that poisons your life and all your relationships in the present. But you need to understand that stepping onto the boat of forgiveness doesn't come naturally to us. We don't wanna forgive, we don't like to forgive. You never feel like forgiving. It doesn't come naturally to us and that's why it's a supernatural step onto the boat of forgiveness that you need God's power for. I have to admit I've never felt like forgiving.
As your pastor, I'm sorry, I'm gonna be honest. I have never ever felt like forgiving when I forgive. But I have felt like getting even many, many times. Reminds me of the elderly woman who was waiting for someone to pull out of a parking space so she could take the last empty spot in the crowded mall at Christmastime. And so she turned on her signal to say that she was gonna take that place once the guy pulled out. But as soon as the car pulled out of the parking space, a young man with a souped-up sports car just darted into the spot. And this woman was so mad, she rolled down her window and she said, "You can't do that, young man". And he replied, "Oh, you bet I can. That's just the way it is when you're young and fast".
Oh, she could barely hold it in, but then she calmed herself, she collected her thoughts and she put the car in reverse and just backed out. But then she stopped and she calmly put the car in drive and she slammed her foot on the gas pedal and floored it and she smashed into the back of that young guy's car so hard that it pretty much totaled both cars. And this stunned guy couldn't believe it and he yelled, "What are you thinking? Are you crazy? You can't do that". And she said, "Oh, you bet I can. That's just the way it is when you're old and rich".
I mean, the older you get, the less you care, right? I don't care anymore. It feels good to get even. It feels good to stew in your bitterness because you think you're getting back at them. But it's really just the opposite. You think that you're hurting them but it's really just the opposite. We're hurting ourselves. See, we think by holding on to the hurt, we're not letting the person off the hook. We think by holding on to the bitterness, we're getting back at them, but it really backfires on us because when you hold on to the hurt, your past keeps holding on to you. And when you hold on to your hurt, you keep letting that person who hurt you in the past, keep on hurting you over and over in the present.
If someone hurts you and wrongs you deeply and you're still holding on to that hurt, then you are still anchored and chained to that person. Did you know that? You're still chained to your past, and you can't break free. But when you step on to the boat of forgiveness, those chains are broken and you're set free. In Matthew 6:14, the couple of verses down from that first verse we read in the Lord's Prayer, Jesus says this: "If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your sins". Hey, if you've dosed off during this message, this verse ought to wake you up. I mean, did you get that?
Jesus is saying, "Hey, if you don't forgive others, then you won't get forgiveness". Now, when you commit your life to Christ, he saves you from your sins, he forgives you of all your sins, you get a free ticket to heaven one day, that you could never earn or deserve on your own. He comes into your life. He will never leave you, he'll always be in your life. Now, before you become a Christ follower, then you kind of sit in the center of your life. You're in the captain's chair of your life 'cause you're calling the shots and you're God in your life. You're the captain of your ship.
But when you commit your life to Christ and you surrender to him, usually after you've crashed upon the rocks, then you move out of the captain's chair and you let Christ sit in the captain's chair and direct your life and speak to your heart and guide your life. And it just changes everything. But when you sin and disobey God as a Christian, what you really do is you push Christ off the captain's chair for a moment and you get back on the captain's chair of your life to call the shots and what it does is, it separates you from that deep connection with God.
Now, he's still in your life, you're still saved, he doesn't leave you, you just pushed him off the center of your life. And it really keeps you from that deeper connection and it's really harder to hear God's voice. It's hard to find direction. You tend to lose your passion and to lose your way and you get confused and you just don't hear God's voice very clearly in your heart. But then, when you're convicted by the Holy Spirit and you confess it, then what happens is you receive that forgiveness, he comes back into the captain's chair, and you have that deep connection with him again. You start hearing God's voice in your heart. He starts guiding your life. You start feeling his power in your life, and you get back on track.
There's a third boat that you're gonna need to step onto over and over again in life. And that's the boat of God's mercy and grace. Over and over again in my life I'm gonna need to step onto that boat of mercy and grace. And if you refuse to forgive someone else who's hurt you, then really what you're doing is just blowing up the very boat that you're gonna need to step onto over and over again. You're sinking yourself. You're blowing up the very bridge that you're gonna have to walk over time and time again, and God says, "You need my forgiveness 'cause you need to be in a deep connection with me. You need my power and strength in your life. You need to be in that communion with me".
And so, that's one of the reasons we have to forgive others. We forgive someone because we want freedom from the past and we forgive because we want forgiveness in the future. But how do I do that? I mean, that's the real question that we get down to because it's not natural for me to forgive. How do I do that with God's power? First, I've got to admit my hurt. And we don't like to admit it when we're hurt, because if I admit that I'm really hurt, that means I'm vulnerable. A lot of times when we're hurt, we'll say, "Oh, didn't bother me. I don't care about that person anyway. You know, I don't care about them so who cares? I don't care what they think," when we're really hurting on the inside. It hurt.
And so we have to humble ourselves and admit our hurt. And I think Christians really struggle with admitting our hurt because we think we're not supposed to feel hurt. We know we're supposed to forgive, but then we get it really confused and we think we're not even supposed to feel hurt. And so, we'll just say, "Oh, no big deal. It didn't hurt me. No big deal. You're forgiven. Don't worry about it". And we make light of it. We minimize the hurt, because we think we're not supposed to hurt and we deny the hurt. But what happens is that hurt builds up and builds up because you're really on the boat of bitterness and you don't know it.
And eventually, that boat blows up and you blow up. You kind of go off the deep end because it builds up and builds, I've seen it over and over again where a Christian will just say, "I didn't get hurt, no big deal," because they think they shouldn't be hurt. And because they think they shouldn't be hurt and they feel guilty about it for some reason, they don't even admit it to themselves and it just builds up and builds up and builds up and then they blow up. They may leave a job and leave it poorly, and then everyone at the office is saying, "I thought they were really happy. They didn't even say anything, but apparently they hated us," because it just builds up over time.
So you have to share your hurt and a lot of times when you do, that brings, it brings reconciliation in the relationship. You've got to be truthful to admit you're hurt. Look at Ephesians 4:15. It says: "Rather, let our lives lovingly express truth in all things, speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly". See, sometimes, we don't wanna admit our hurt because we don't wanna rock the boat. We wanna avoid conflict but truth and forgiveness always go together.
You see, you have to admit you're hurt so that then you can forgive the one who hurt you. But if you don't admit you're hurt, then you can't really forgive because truth and forgiveness go together so don't lie and say, "Oh, it's no big deal, I forgive you. I'm a Christian". What you do is you say, "What you did hurt me deeply. It was devastating. But I want you to know I choose to forgive you by God's power because I wanna forgive you for my sake. I wanna forgive you for my sake because I want God's healing. And because Christ commands me to forgive you, I forgive you". You don't feel like it, but you choose to step onto the boat of forgiveness because you don't wanna be chained to your past and you're gonna need forgiveness in your future.
But really, I think the main reason why we struggle to forgive others who hurt us is because we really don't understand how much God has forgiven us. We don't understand the depth of our brokenness and our helplessness without God's forgiveness and his grace, because I'll never have to forgive anyone more than God has forgiven me. And if I begin to understand a little bit of God's grace and mercy in my life, it makes it a whole lot easier to forgive others. That's the real reason why we struggle with forgiveness.
You see, we talk about Jesus on the cross and if you're a Christian, you know that Jesus died for your sins and you've received his forgiveness, but we sanitize the cross and we wear crosses, which is great. We have crosses up here, which is great. But we never really think about what that was like on the cross, as Jesus took the nails and wounded in his side and the crown of thorns just broke into the capillaries in his scalp and just poured blood down to where he was unrecognizable, and he took that great pain upon himself and that was really not the big deal. The big deal was not that excruciating pain. It was that he took on himself the sins of the whole world, your sins, my sins. The sinless perfect one who had never known sin had to bear the sins of all of us.
And so, I'm broken, you're broken, and we had to have the God of the universe die this death and shed his perfect blood so that we could experience forgiveness. That's how much we've been forgiven. You see, really, we're all in the same boat. We're in the boat of brokenness. Every one of us are in the same boat, and we need God's healing and God's forgiveness. We're all in the same boat, but what we like to think is there are a lot of different boats when it comes to sin. I mean, you know, you're in a certain boat, but it's kind of at the first of the harbor there. It's kind of right in front of the fleet.
Sure, you've sinned, you've done some wrong things, you know you need forgiveness and you've asked Christ to forgive you, to come into your life, but you're in that boat that's better than other boats because some people are in a terrible boat. They're way at the end, and they've done some horrible things, some unimaginable things, some sins that are so devastating and so evil and we think that we're all in different boats, but you know what God sees? He sees one boat. We're all in the same boat and it's a boat of brokenness and sin because it separates us from perfect holy God and it caused God to have to send his Son to die on the cross to take away all my sins. And we're all broken and we need God's forgiveness. None of us have it all together.
Now, when you commit your life to Christ, then he changes your heart. You get a new heart. You're a new creation in Christ. And your true self just wants to follow him with all your heart. Your true self is a humble man or woman of God who wants to serve God with all your heart and obey him and follow him and love him and love others. And that's your true heart, but you still have your flesh. You know, not the supernatural but the natural, you're still on this earth, you still have your flesh and your flesh craves all kinds of destructive thing. Your flesh wants to do all kinds of destructive things, and destructive to you, and destructive to others.
That's your flesh. And the problem is, when you think you're in a better boat, then you don't really admit how gross your flesh is. And when you don't admit it, and you try to hide it, you're trying to control it instead of confess it to God. And when you try to control it, whatever you try to control starts controlling you.
Look what the apostle Paul said in Romans 7. He said, "I don't understand myself at all, for I really want to do what is right, but I can't. I do what I don't want to, what I hate. I know I'm rotten through and through so far as my old sinful nature is concerned. No matter which way I turn I can't make myself do right. I want to but I can't. When I wanna do good, I don't; and when I try not to do wrong, I do it anyway". Can anybody here relate to the apostle Paul? That's the apostle Paul.
Some of you think you're more spiritual than the apostle Paul, but no, we're all in the same boat. What's he saying here? He's saying, "I really wanna do the things that are right, that I know are good for me, that follow God, but then I end up not doing 'em. And then the things that I know that are devastating to me, I end up doing those things. Even though I know it's devastating to me and others". And what's he saying is, "I have this flesh that craves all these gross things," so what do I do? What's the answer? Because without the answer, then you're gonna try to fix the problem and make it worse.
I mean, you're gonna try to control that sin in your flesh and it's gonna go out of control. I mean, you're gonna know that you really need to forgive someone because that's what's best for you, but you're gonna end up holding on to the hurt and getting bitter, even though it poisons you. You really wanna love the people in your life and never hurt them but you end up hurting the people you love the most. That's what's gonna happen if you try to control it and not admit it.
So Paul says, "Here's the answer". He goes on to say the answer in Romans 7. He says, "So you see how it is: my new life tells me to do right, but the old nature that is still inside me loves to sin. Oh, what a terrible predicament I'm in! Who will free me from my slavery to this deadly lower nature? Thank God! It has been done by Jesus Christ our Lord. He has set me free".
That's what it's all about. Quit trying to control it and confess it. Admit it. You see, here's the whole thing. You have this flesh that craves all kinds of evil things. You're in the same boat, I'm in the same boat. In my flesh, my flesh is narcissistic, a liar, luster, you know, people-pleaser. That's my flesh. And I have to admit that. My flesh is selfish. My flesh wants to put myself first. My flesh wants to do what I want, rather than what God wants. My flesh wants to eat ice-cream every night, even though I know it's terrible for me. That's my flesh. But that's not my true self.
I've got to admit my flesh, but my true self and my true heart is that I'm a man of God who loves God with all my heart and puts God first above everything else and only wants to please God. And I am a man of God that puts my wife and kids ahead of me and lifts them up. I am a man of God who puts others ahead of myself, who's unselfish, who tells the truth at all times. I'm a man of God. That's my true self.
And so, you've got to admit your flesh and how gross it is and then when you confess that and daily admit that and bring it to the cross, then you live from your true self. You confess that to God, you admit it to God. You don't try to hide it, cover it up, or pretend, like, you're in a different boat from everyone else. You're just, "I'm in the same boat with everyone else. I need God's forgiveness and his grace," and you have that. And through Jesus's death and Resurrection, you can live from your true self in forgiveness and in victory.