Joyce Meyer - Self-Confidence

TOPICS: Confidence

A fool is always taking a mental beating. The self-confident man must worry, be anxious, reason, be in fear. A self-confident fool also takes an emotional beating. Nothing really works out right for him. And since he's worked so hard in his life to make everything work out, he only has one option and that is to be upset when things don't work out.

And see, the good thing for those of us that are believers in Christ, once we really learn how to operate in the kingdom economy, and there are ways that God operates that the world doesn't understand, I can do the very best that I can, I can plan and have a program and do my best to work it, and you know what? If for some reason it doesn't work, then I can just say, "Well, I guess I missed God or my timing was off or whatever, but praise God, he still loves me. And I can just let go of what lies behind and press on to the next good thing that God has for me".

I don't have to just have 3 years of depression because I tried something and it didn't work out. So say with me, "A fool is always taking a beating. Answer not a self-confident fool according to his folly, lest you also be like him". You know, if you want to know where somebody's confidence is, all you have to do is just listen to him for a little bit because somebody who's self-confident cannot keep their mouth shut about themselves. They can't say a sentence without i, me, and mine in it. "Answer a self-confident fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes and conceit".

So he's saying there is a time to come back at a fool and try to straighten them out. "He who sends a message by the hand of a fool cuts off the feet of satisfactory delivery". In other words, the worst thing that I could do would be to have a bunch of fools working for me because no matter what I send them to do, it's not going to work out. I would much rather have somebody that is less naturally talented, but really leans on God working for me, than somebody who's super smart and full of themselves. Amen? Come on, somebody give God praise.

So I think you get the point. I don't think I need to read the rest of that, but you can read it yourself. You'll find that many places in proverbs a fool is a self-confident man. Now I'm not saying that, you know, when people give you compliments, you should receive them, be gracious. That doesn't mean that you're proud and haughty. I love what corrie ten boom, she said, "I get compliments all the time and everyone that comes to me, I receive it as a rose. And at the end of the day, I take the bouquet and give it all back to Jesus". Amen?

So you know, even if God helps you do a good job, you're going to get some attention. People are going to tell you they appreciate you. They're going to tell you that, you know, and that's fine. Receive that. Receive it graciously unless somebody gets into worship. Then you need to straighten them out. But then just always make sure that you give it all back to God, all back to God.

You know, sometimes even when I do things or, you know, when I go and I do speaking engagements, I always get introduced. You know, here I don't bother with that, I just come out. But when I go places and I get introduced, I mean, sometimes the way they make me sound, you would think that I was the greatest thing next to sliced bread. And you know, while they're saying it, I kind of just talk to God and just say, "Well, you and I both know I'm nothing without you, so it's kind of funny how important they think I am, but we both know that I'm not". And so, see, it's really your heart toward God that makes a difference. And so it's great if you're helping people and they want to encourage you. I mean, that's good. We all need to be encouraged. But it's what you do with it after that.

I remember before my ministry got very sizeable at all, one night I was sitting on the edge of my bed, on the side of my bed, and I was getting ready to go to sleep. And I mean, for about 45 minutes the Lord started dealing with me. And it kind of went like this. We weren't having like some open conversation, but you know when God puts things on your heart, you know what he's saying. And so, by the time God got finished, I sensed in my heart that God was getting ready to do some really good things as far as letting us be able to help more people in our ministry, growing. And the long and the short of it was the message from him was, "There's something I want you to always remember. Whatever good thing that you see happen through you, it is not you. It is me working through you". Wait a minute, I'm not done. "And it only means that I have wrestled with you long enough to get just another little square inch of your flesh that I can work through without you taking the credit". Amen?

Come on now, so God wants to use us. But, let me tell you something. Anybody listening to me, anybody in this place, if you want to be used by God, if you want to own your own company, let's just say you're the boss. You know what? The worst thing in the world that you can do is act like a boss. Anybody can be a boss, but not everybody can be a leader. It doesn't take any talent to boss people around. And as soon as you start thinking that you're something, then that's what happens, you start looking down on others that you don't think are the something you are. And it happens to all of us, all of us. If you're going to sit there and tell me that you're never tempted with pride, then I'm going to have to tell you that you are lying. Because pride is at the base of all sin.

When Lucifer fell from the exalted place that God had given him, it was pride that caused it. Five times in two verses or one verse he said, "I will, I will, I will, I will, I will". And God said, "Let me show you what's going to happen... That's all of you". Only God. "Apart from me, you can do nothing," the Bible says. Let's look at John 15:5. And you might be thinking, "Well, I came here hurting today and I need to be comforted. I feel like you're kind of beating up on me". Well, you know what? We'll pray for somebody to hug you and love on you before you get out of here, but... The point is, is if you ever want God to do anything great for you, then you got to be prepared for it spiritually. And that means that you got to still know that apart from him, you can do nothing.

John 15:5, "I am the vine, you are the branch. Whoever lives in me and I in him bears much abundant fruit. However, apart from me cut off from vital union with me you can do nothing".

Now this tree was outside my room, and yes, I attacked it. Here's the thing. Alright, now, this flower is only on here because this was attached to a vine that was giving it life from within. So Christ comes to live in us and he gives us life from deep within us. And we really don't comprehend how dependent this little branch is on that vine. See, all it does really is just kind of hang there and everything else comes to it. Well see, we need to learn how to just be sure that we're hanging on the vine. "God, I'm nothing without you".

Now there's a bunch of little buds on here that, you know what, are never going to bloom. You know why? Because now it's off the vine. So I wonder how many possibilities, okay, maybe you've had one flowering success, and so now that success has gotten you off the vine because now you're so busy taking care of your success. Amen. That now you have no time for the hanging vine thing anymore. Oh man, I remember years where I just walked around, "God, you got to help me. God, help me". I mean, I started to feel like I was like some kind of a mental case. I mean, I didn't even know what I needed help with, but I just felt so overwhelmed. I mean, the vision I had was completely stupid.

Why would I think that this could ever happen to me? Why would I think that God wanted to use me, a totally unqualified, uneducated woman with half a brain from fenton, missouri? Who did I think I was? Oh yeah, I was just going, "Oh God, you got to help me, God. Help me, help me, help me, help me". Well, I was hanging on the vine. Let me tell you, I was hanging on the vine. I mean, I was believing God for anybody. I didn't care if there were two people to call me and ask me to come and speak, just anybody. Well, then I started getting a little success. Well, then if I would get too far off that vine, man, everything would start to shut down. And then I'd have to, "I'm sorry, Lord". You got to always keep him first. He's not happy with second place. He's only going to have first place, amen? You keep God in his place and you stay in your place and everything's always going to work out good.

So I had this one little flower, but I had all these other little possibilities. Man, there's a whole bunch of them things on there, wow. That thing would end up really pretty if we wouldn't have taken it off the vine. I think that this word today is timely for some people. Now this is good for everybody here, trust me, but there's some people here today and some people watching by tv and listening even by recorded device that this is a word from God for you. You got a little flower. You got a little fruit.

Well, don't get your eyes so much on that that now you just get all full of yourself and start going around giving success lessons to everybody. Come on. Don't you just love those people that when you say to them, you tell them what you're struggling with, and they say, "Oh yeah, I was having a problem with that, but I just did this and that and that's all you need to do". I just want to go... I tell you what, every victory I got, I had to walk it out and suffer. Yeah, I started smoking when I was 9 years old and it was the hardest thing in the world for me to quit smoking. Whew. Matter of fact, when I started teaching, when I started teaching my first Bible study, I would sit on the floor with short shorts on and blow smoke in everybody's face. That's how I started. And you think God doesn't love you the way you are and he won't accept you the way you are? You know what? God sees the heart, and God sees the end from the beginning.

Now if I was still dressed like that and still blowing smoke in everybody's face, chances are I probably wouldn't be here today, so there is a little pruning that needs to go on in our lives. Amen. And today is a surgery day. We had the worship to anesthetize us. That's the way I look at worship, it's like... "Oh, Jesus, I love you so much, whatever God, your will be done". And then, I come in with the knife. Now, you know, this thing already doesn't look as good as it did this morning. And, we're going to look at this every session. It wouldn't surprise me, if by tomorrow it's totally dead. You gotta hang on the vine. You gotta stay with Jesus. And, you know what? You not only seek him in the family, but you seek him on the mountaintop. Amen?

Why does God use people that just, apart from him, couldn't do anything? Well, let's go look at it. 1 Corinthians 1. 1 Corinthians 1:24, "But to those who are called, whether Jew or Greek (gentile), Christ is the power of God and the wisdom of God". So Christ is our power, Christ is our wisdom. "That is because the foolish thing that has its source in God is wiser than men, and the weak thing that springs from God is stronger than men". So a person who's full of God might not have a proper education, but they've got wisdom and that will always trump having head knowledge.

Now it's good to have the head knowledge, but if you can't have both, go with God. "For simply consider your own call, brethren, not many of you were considered to be wise according to human estimates and standards, not many influential and powerful, not many of high and noble birth". And you know, all you got to do is think about the people that Jesus chose and it wasn't an accident. He prayed all night to get those 12 goofy guys. I mean, you look at them and think, "Really"? "No for God selected".

I love this in the amplified. "(deliberately chose) what in the world is foolish to put the wise to shame, and what the world calls weak to put the strong to shame. And God also selected (deliberately chose) what in the world is lowborn and insignificant and branded and treated with contempt, even the things that are nothing, that he might depose and bring to nothing the things that are so that no mortal man should have pretense for glorying and boast in the presence of God". Wow. Everybody say nice and loud, "God deliberately chose me". Wow.

And here's the amazing thing. God knew every mistake that we were ever going to make and he still chose us. Jesus knew that Peter was going to deny him before he called Peter. He knew that Judas was going to sell him out before he called Judas. He knew that the disciples were going to, while he's trying to explain to them that it's time for him to die and go to the cross that they're going to be on the road arguing about which of them was the greatest. Goofy. Goofy people. Carnal, fleshly, goofy people. And yet born again men after the death and resurrection of Christ.

Peter, who was a coward, a day after being filled with the Holy Spirit, after receiving the Holy Spirit and being born again, he preached in the middle of the streets the boldest message you've ever heard and 3,000 people were saved. It doesn't matter what you were. If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature. Old things pass away and all things become brand new. So here's the thing. Look at me, let me tell you something. There's no differences in any of us. We're all equal here today. It doesn't matter that I'm up here and you're out there. That doesn't mean anything to God. I'm up here because he's gifted me to be up here. It wouldn't do me much good to be here if you weren't there listening, so I'm glad I got some learners, amen?

People ask all the time, you know, "Well, has it been hard for Dave for you to be the one up in front of the people all the time and him just to kind of be in the background"? Dave has got it good. You don't have to worry about Dave. But you know what happened in the very beginning? It was a little bit tough for him, but you know what God told him? "If you do what I've given you the grace to do, you'll always have joy. But if you try to do what I've graced somebody else to do, then you'll have nothing but misery".

You see, he can only do what he does because he knows who he is. I said he can only do what he does because he knows who he is. And if you know who you are, then it won't matter so much what you do. Don't ever say, "Well, I'm just a stay at home mom". My gosh, mothers work so hard. Man, come on, let's give it up for all the moms. Amen, whoo! And for any man to mistreat a woman just because she's a woman is the height of stupidity. You wouldn't even be here without her. You don't get into the planet without a woman. Amen?

We're all equal. I don't know, I feel like I need to press this point right now. We're all equal. Nobody in here is better than anybody else. Oh, some may be behaving better, some may be a little further along spiritually, you might have your prayer life a little more perfected. We're all growing, we're all coming along, and God is not mad if we've not arrived. He's just happy that you're here today wanting to learn more. The Lord looks on the heart. Keep your heart right. Guard your heart with all diligence, for out of it flows the issues of life. Amen? If you keep your heart right, you're always going to be okay with God.

1 Samuel 16. You know, getting a reputation and then trying to keep it is hard work. Man, I remember how hard I worked at a church that I was in once, trying to be in the right group. And when God touched my life and called me to preach, that group was the first to reject me. No wonder the Bible says that Jesus made himself of no reputation. He had to get that over with first. We all want to be well thought of, but to be free you have to be you. 1 Samuel 16, verse 1, "The Lord said to Samuel, 'how long will you mourn for Saul, seeing I have rejected him from reigning over Israel? Fill your horn with oil. I will send you to Jesse the Bethlehemite. For I have provided for myself a king among his sons'".

So Saul had messed up, got into pride, did his own thing. And God even said to him at one point, "When you were small in your own sight, did I not call you"? See, he was a man that when he was small in his own sight, God lifted him up. But then he thought he was too important to have to obey God, and so God brought him down. We see the same thing happened to Nebuchadnezzar in the book of Daniel. He started out in chapter 1, everything was God, everything's God. God's done this, God's done that, God, God, God. And it only took him about 12 verses and he built a monument to himself. Well, he came down too.

So Saul because of pride was going to lose the right to be king. And God was sending the prophet Samuel to anoint a new king, and he said, "You're going to go to the house of Jesse". Jesse had a whole bunch of sons. And so he starts out... "And when they had all come before him," verse 6, so now all the sons are lined up, "He looked on Eliab the eldest and said, 'surely the Lord's anointed is before him.' but the Lord said to Samuel, 'look not on the appearance or at the height of his stature, for I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees, for man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart'. Then Jesse called Abinedab and made him pass before Samuel. But Samuel said, 'neither has the Lord chosen that one.' then Jesse made shammah pass before Samuel. 'no, the Lord has not chosen him.' and Jesse made seven of his sons pass before Samuel and Samuel said to Jesse, 'the Lord has not chosen any of these.' and then he said to Jesse, 'are these all your sons?' and Jesse said, 'well, there's still one, the youngest, and he's out tending the sheep.'"

Well, how would you like to be the one that nobody even thought enough of you to even bring you in to be considered? Come on, some of you maybe felt like the tail end in your family. You weren't as talented as your sister or you weren't a great sports star like your brother, not quite, "Well, why can't you get the grades your sister gets"? "Well, because I ain't my sister". Of course we don't get to say that at that age. But one of the worst things that you can ever do as a parent is compare one child to another one. Don't ever do that. "Why can't you be like"? You say, "You be like yourself. You do the best you can do".

So David was the one that was anointed to be king because while he's out taking care of the stinky, smelly, stupid sheep, why does God compare us to sheep? Because they're stubborn, amen? They need a shepherd. So David was shepherding the sheep. And he's out there building a relationship with God. He's out there writing all these songs, writing all the Psalms, you know. And God didn't want somebody that looked right or had the right this or the right that or the right something else. When he wanted a king, he wanted somebody that was connected heart to heart. He wanted somebody that knew him, somebody that loved him.

And you know what? It's sad to have to say this, but there's so many people that go to church that don't know God. And it's sad for them. They're doing the best they can, but there's nothing worse than somebody wanting to have a relationship with God, going, and being told, "Now join the church and these are the rules that you need to follow to be part of this organization," and never telling them about relationship and that God loves them, and more than anything he wants to have a relationship with them. You don't have to pray: you get to pray. You don't have to read the word: you get to see what God says about your life. It's a privilege. Prayer is nothing more than just talking to God.

Let's learn how to be an everything/nothing: everything in Christ and nothing in ourselves. Everything in Christ. I believe that I can do whatever I need to do. I am a confident woman. I'm bold and I believe that I can do whatever I need to do. But I hang on that vine. Oh, you know God sometimes will take the trouble to put you in your place if you need to be put in your place. He says, "Humble yourself unto the mighty hand of God, that in due time you might be exalted". But I can tell you if you don't humble yourself, he'll do it for ya.

"For we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about the affliction and the oppressing distress which befell us in the province of asia, how we were so utterly and unbearably weighed down and crushed that we despaired even of life itself. Indeed, we felt within ourselves that we had received the very sentence of death, but that was to keep us from trusting in and depending on ourselves instead of on God who raises the dead".

So out of love and concern for Paul's future, he actually let him and some of the other disciples go through a much more difficult time than what they would have liked to have gone through because he wanted, it was very important that God keep them aware that they had to depend on God and nobody else. You're not getting that, I don't think. Why doesn't God sometimes deliver us the moment we want to be delivered? Why does he let us go on and struggle when he could deliver us right now? Because he wants us to realize that apart from him, we can do nothing. And he wants us to want him more than we want to get what we want.

2 Corinthians 12:7, "And to keep me from being puffed up and too much elated by the exceeding greatness of the revelations that I was being given, there was given unto me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of satan, to rack and buffer and harass me, to keep me from being excessively exalted". Amen. You know, a thorn in the flesh can be a lot of different things. I get letters from people sometimes that are thorns in my flesh. Here's one of the most recent. The woman who's over our media ministries sat down with me and she said, "Joyce, we're starting to get letters again," because this wasn't the first time, "That when you have guests on your program to interview them, you need to let them talk".

Well, you know what? Four or five years ago, the first time they brought that to me, I got so defensive. And I had thoughts like, "Well, this is my program and I'll say what I want to... They ought to be glad to even be on... Who do these people..." Come on, that's when you know you got a problem, when you cannot receive any kind of direction or correction without getting defensive and angry. No, you don't like that? The first thing that we do when somebody tries to correct us is immediately tell them what's wrong with them. "Yeah, well you don't do everything so right yourself". Well, this time when she came, hm, I said, "You know what? I'm just not very good at this interviewing stuff". I said, "Maybe you're going to have to stand back behind the camera if I'm talking too much, go crrk..."

Because you know what? I'm a teacher and I want to teach. And if you ain't saying what I think the people need to hear, then I'm likely to take over. I admit it. You know, the first time I tried to be on television, it was like years before God put me on. And I decided I was going to have an interview program, and I took four or five of my employees and we rented a little station, at cable station in St. Louis. And we were going to have this interview show where I was going to ask them questions and they were going to answer them, but the problem was, honestly and truly, they were just decoration because I would ask one of them a question and then I would answer it before they would ever get a chance to answer it. And so I had these people on there and I was the only one saying anything.

Well, in 6 months we got 1 piece of mail. Come on, it's good for you to hear this part. In 6 months, we got 1 piece of mail. So I decided, you know, that wasn't my strong suit. So you know, I have some guests on my program, but I don't have as many as I used to because I'm just not the best at that. I'm learning and I can do it, but if you just cut me loose and tell me to talk, I'm in with that. I can do that. But see, it doesn't bother me at all to stand here and tell you, you know, I can do that, but it's not my strongest gift.

Well, see, God uses things like that. Okay, you got a lot of stuff you can do, but there's some things you can't do. And you know what? Now listen to what I'm going to say: it is not good for anybody to be able to do it all. You know what? Some of us are good at giving, but we don't want to have to feel that we need anybody. Did you hear me? We work ourselves to death when there's people around us that could help, but we won't ask them for help. Or even if we do ask, we won't let them do it their way. They've got to do it our way because, after all, nobody can do it as good as I can. Okay, you guys look like you need some caffeine or something, I don't know.

Now you know what? In the midst of all of this, God loves you so much. Thank God he won't ever leave us alone. Thank God he cares enough about us to show us. And it's not just you, it's all of us. We all go through this kind of stuff. But the people who succeed are the ones who let God cut it out of them. Come on, it's up to you today. Do you want to go on with God and be all that you've told him you want to be? If you want to come up higher, something else has got to go down lower. When we want to come up higher, a little bit more of our flesh has to go down lower.

So in closing, let me say, Philippians 4:13. Oh, we've had so much fun today. Oh, you just wait till tonight. Only brave people better come tonight. "I have strength for all things in Christ who empowers me. I am ready for anything and equal to anything through him who infuses inner strength into me". And I love this. "I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency". So I can even say I am self-confident in Christ's confidence. Only because he lives in me can I do anything. Apart from him, I can do... Look at how bad it's already looking. Look at that. Just see, it's already, look, it's already starting to close up. You just wait till tomorrow and that'll only be 24 hours off the vine. How long have you been off? The end.

Joyce: Well, for any success we have, we should always give God all the glory. When we're confident in him, we can have freedom and we don't have to do things trying to impress people. Today, Ginger's with us and has some of your questions about self confidence that, by the grace of God, I'm going to answer. Well, Ginger, whatcha got goin' on over there?

Ginger: We've got great questions today because confidence can be a really tricky thing. And so, I think one great way to start is with this question, it comes from Maryland, "How can I be self confident but not arrogant"?

Joyce: Well, because the confidence, we're self-confidence, in Christ. In other words, it's only because of him. And, really, I don't even like to call it self-confidence, it's really God-confidence but the world is so familiar with that term. And so, it's really not having confidence in yourself, it's having confidence in God. And, you know, I confess scripture a lot and have for a lot of years and still do it. And, one of the things that I say, I wouldn't say every day, but a lot is, "Apart from you I can do nothing, and in me that is in my flesh dwells no good thing". So, we have good things in us, but it's not in our flesh, it's in our spirit. And so, we can only have true confidence, and confidence without arrogance, which is a very good question. You know, if you know in your heart that anything you're succeeding at is because God is giving you the grace to do it.

Ginger: Yeah, because I can do all things through Christ, not through myself. Good, okay. Well, dwayne, from Georgia would like to know, he says, "I've had so much failure in my life. How can I regain my self-confidence after failure"? Well, just because you fail at something doesn't make you a failure. And, I think that's important for people to realize because if he has that mindset or that thinking, "I'm a failure," then he's just gonna keep failing. So, he needs to realize that as long as you're still trying, you're not a failure. And, not only that, there's so many things the Bible says, "His mercies are new every day". Paul said, "One thing that's important to me is letting go of what's behind and pressing on to the things that are ahead". And I have a statement that I say, "That we fail our way to success". In other words, nobody can, have I gotten to where I'm at in ministry without making lots of mistakes? No, you know. I mean, I tried to go on television a long time before, "God," put me on television, and it was just a nightmare. I got one piece of mail in six months. And, as I always say, "I was trying to have a talk show and I wouldn't let anybody talk but me, so... We all fail at things. And, I think if he just remembers that God's never going to give up on him, and he's not a failure, he's just finding out what God wants him to do.

Ginger: Yeah, that's a great way to look at it. It really changes all of our perspectives. 'cause it's easy to feel like a failure, failing is hard.

Joyce: Yeah.

Ginger: But, when you get that other side of it, it changes. Alright, here's a question from Deborah, "A lot of people in my life say very negative things about me. How can I stop letting what people say about me bring me down"?

Joyce: Well, maybe, one of the things she needs is a new group of people around her. Now, you know, obviously, if this is a marriage, or children, or whatever, she can't just walk off from that. But, even, if somebody is married to somebody who says a lot of negative things to them, they really need to realize it's their problem, the other person's problem, not theirs. And, surround yourself with enough positive friends that it helps override the negativity in your life. And, basically, the only way to not let what people say about you affect you, is to really, deeply know who you are in Christ. That he loves you, and that, just because you make mistakes, or you know, I mean, I read one time that 10% of people are not gonna like you no matter what you do. And, that kinda helped me because I thought you know...

Ginger: Im with you, it's a relief.

Joyce: No matter how many, I mean, I'm in front of a lot of people and so, how can I expect to satisfy every one of them? So, as long as she knows that she's satisfying God to the best of her ability, nobody's perfect, then the only thing I know to do is what Jesus instructed the people to do when he sent 'em out two by two, to minister. He said, "If anybody rejects you just shake it off and go on to the next town". And sometimes, that's just literally what we have to do is just shake it off.

Ginger: Okay, question from Larissa in Washington, "What are some specific Bible verses I can pray when I'm not feeling confident"?

Joyce: Well, you can definitely pray Philippians 3:3, "That Christ is my confidence". And also, scriptures about feelings. "We walk not by sight but by faith," you might as well say, "We walk not by feelings, but by faith". People have to understand that emotions, they're great when they're good, but they're awful when they're not. And, they're rather fickle. You never know when they're going to change. And so, we definitely, I say sometimes, "Even if you don't feel confident, you can be confident". You understand that?

Ginger: Yeah.

Joyce: It's like, you know, I don't always feel confident in every single situation that I get into. You know, I'm rather bold and so that helps me. But, when I'm doing something that I have never done before, and especially if it's in front of a lot of people, it just makes me press in to God that much more. And so, I would just tell her to look up anything she can find in the Bible, get a concordance, on confidence. And, anything about the fear of man, you know, because that's really what it comes down to, we're afraid of what people are gonna think, or do, or say. And here again, as long as we're satisfying God, if we believe that we're doing what God wants us to do, don't live, if anybody who lives by how they feel, they might as well stamp, "destroyed," on their life right now.

Ginger: Wow.

Joyce: Because, satan can play around with our feelings. Can you imagine if I only showed up when I felt like it? Or, you know, or any of us?

Ginger: Yeah, I think we'd all be fired. Can't hold a job that way.

Joyce: We'd all be a mess. You know, I wrote a book called, "Living beyond your feelings," and I think it's a really good book and it might help her, so I'll throw in an advertisement for my book there while I'm at it.

Ginger: Andrea, from Mexico says, "I always seek positive attention from others. How can I feel valuable and confident without looking for this from other people"?

Joyce: She has to know who she is in Christ. I mean, Ephesians, the first three chapters in Ephesians are great to study, study, study because he says that he wants us to know, to know deeply and intimately the love that God has for us. And, the more you know that you're loved by God, the less you have to have that from other people. I think we all have weak days, you know, where we just, whatever, our emotions aren't going in the right direction, or one hormone stayed in bed while the rest of us got up but...

Ginger: I love that.

Joyce: There's all days when we don't feel, you know, as confident in God as we should, and we have to talk to ourselves. You know, I not only preach to other people, I preach to myself too. And, I have to tell myself a lot of the same things that I'm telling other people. But, so many of the problems that we have are all connected to just not knowing who you are in Christ.

Ginger: Yeah.

Joyce: And, when I say, "Who you are in Christ," it means that he's in us and we're in him. And, we're not going to do it all perfectly, that's why God sent us a Savior. We need help, and it's okay. It's okay to need help.

Ginger: But, I think as a society, we are so driven to please other people. I mean, social media is all about seeing how wonderful your life is and you want to have that perception, you know, that everyone looks at our life and thinks it's a glorious thing. And, you're exactly right, getting our focus in the right place instead makes a huge difference. One more question for you, and I think this is a great one. Jessica from minnesota, "I struggle with how to be a good parent to my children. How can I have more confidence in being a mom"?

Joyce: Well, I was raised in a totally dysfunctional home. And so, based on the way I was raised, I should have been an absolutely horrible parent. And, my kids and I have talked about this. They're like, no, I wasn't a perfect parent. You know, I did things, some of them that were rooted in the way I was raised. But, we've all talked about, it's amazing how good of a parent I was considering how I was raised. And, you know what I tribute that to? I believe if God gives you a child, he'll give you the anointing to parent that child. And so many moms are concerned that they're not going to be good moms. But, trust God for everything that you need. He anoints you. God never, you know, I always say, "He gives us grace for our place". So, if you're doing what God wants you to do then there's going to be a grace there, which is the power of God to do what you're doing. And, God will give parents wisdom. He gives them knowledge about things that their kids wish they didn't have the knowledge about. And, instead of worrying about it, just pray about it and watch God move.

Ginger: Yeah, that's really helpful stuff, thank you very much.

Joyce: Well today, we're offering four teachings called, "Self help". And really, we don't want you to try to help yourself, but we're trying to show that self-anything can get you in trouble. I think there's a teaching on self-pity and one on self-righteousness and all the kinds of things that we need to trust God about. And, we're offering this today for your gift to the ministry of any amount. All I ask is that you do your best. Don't send in the least amount that you can because you can get by with it. But, those of you that can give more, give more and that will help some of the people who really don't have hardly any money to give. And, I believe that these teachings will show you how helping others is a sure way to increase your joy.