Joyce Meyer - Forgive Me God, Change Me (08/17/2019)
Joyce Meyer explains that many believers struggle to receive God's loving correction without falling into condemnation, which blocks spiritual growth and keeps them going in circles. She stresses that mature Christians gratefully repent when shown wrong attitudes or behaviors, knowing their righteousness in Christ protects them from condemnation. Offense is Satan's bait leading to unforgiveness and strife, while true power flows through love, agreement, respect for differences, and overcoming selfishness in relationships.
Receiving Correction Without Condemnation
I believe that one of the things that is a huge problem for people is they don't know how to receive correction without letting it condemn them. And I really want to center on that quite a bit. Because the only way that we can grow up... Let me ask you a question. Do you have children? How many of you have children? All right. Have you ever had to correct them? Well, you just consider that part of growing up, don't you?
Well, we're God's children. And when we come into this walk with God, we're baby Christians. And we have to grow up. And part of the way that God helps us grow up is through correction. Through chastisement. And the Bible says very clearly that God only corrects those whom He loves. We only correct our children because we love them. Many times, truth be told, we'd rather not mess with it.
God Corrects Because He Loves Us
Who wants to punish their kid and keep them in the house all week when it's just going to make you miserable? But you do it because you love them. We don't love taking things away from our children that we know is going to really wound them emotionally. But we do it because we love them. And God corrects us because He loves us.
But when God tries to correct us, if our response to that correction is condemnation, then we don't receive what God's trying to do and we just have to go around that mountain another time. A spiritually mature person can actually be grateful when God shows them something that's wrong in their life or in their attitude. And they will be very quick to repent and very grateful that God cared enough about them to open their eyes.
No Condemnation in Christ
There's no need. If you know who you are in Christ, if you understand righteousness through the blood of Christ, if you understand that you're a very loved child of God and that you have been made right with God through the blood of Jesus, He sees you as justified, made just as if you had never sinned. When God corrects you, there is no reason to come under condemnation.
You need to be secure and say, I know I'm God's child and I am not going to be condemned. I am none of the devil's business. If God is correcting me about this, I'm going to receive this correction. I'm going to grow and get beyond it. I'm not going to have a bad attitude about it.
Early Struggles with Condemnation
And in the beginning years of my walk with God, I'd go to a meeting much like this. And back then we would have week-long camp meetings, three and four meetings a day. I'd go and sit in all those meetings and, man, everything I heard, I needed it. Anything you preached on, I had a problem with it. It didn't matter.
If it was the mind, mine was messed up. If it was the mouth, mine was messed up. If it was selfishness, that was me. If it was bitterness, that was me. But every time, I would just go home and be more and more condemned. And I'd say, another thing now. I've got to change another thing that's wrong with me.
Agreeing with God
Well, first of all, I didn't yet have the understanding that I couldn't change anything. That all God wanted me to do was agree with Him and say, You're right, God. I do have a problem. And I'm sorry. And I want you to change me. Forgive me, God, and change me. Work with me. And don't ever leave me alone until I am what you want me to be.
But it's going to take absolutely forever if you don't get over being condemned all the time. Philippians 3:12, Paul said that he knew his faults. He knew he had not arrived at the place of perfection. But he kept pressing on. I know that Paul was not condemned. You know why? Because when you're condemned, you can't press on. When you're condemned, all you get is pressed down.
Pressing On Like Paul
Paul didn't say, I'm not perfect. And so I'm pressed down. I'm depressed. I'm in a bad mood about this. He said, I let go of what lies behind. I know I've not arrived. But I'm going to press toward that mark of perfection. He knew who he was in Christ.
You don't have to concentrate on everything that's wrong with you. When God shows you something that's wrong with you, just agree with Him. I agree, God. You're right. I can't change myself, but I sure want you to. The part you can do is study the Word in that area and trust the Holy Spirit to work that change in you.
Gradual Change Through God
It may not happen overnight, but if you keep agreeing with God, little by little, from glory to glory, you will change. Sometimes the changes are so minor that they're almost imperceptible. But if you look back over a year or two years or three or four or five, you change.
I am not even remotely like the same person that I used to be. I can't believe how angry I used to be. And how... I mean, I never had any peace. I was always trying to figure everything out. My mind was a mess. I could not keep my mouth shut. And God has changed me. And He brought you here to change you.
Growing Up to Inherit
And I'm not going to just pat you on the head and just tell you every nice thing that you want to hear. I'm not just going to call you out of the congregation and give all of you personal prophecies and tell you that you're going to get everything you want from God. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
But my part in the body of Christ is to help people grow up so they can have what Jesus died to give them. It's one thing to be an heir, a joint heir with Christ. It's another thing to inherit. And we're all joint heirs with Christ, but very few ever really inherit. They spend all their time heading toward the promised land, but never getting there.
Offense as Satan's Bait
And a lot of it is because of what I'm talking about this weekend. They won't forgive people that hurt them. They get offended. The word offense comes from the Greek word skandalon, which meant the part of the animal trap that the bait hung on that lured the victim into the trap. That's what offense is. It's Satan's bait.
He baits people. He tries to get them offended. So then they can get bitter. So then they can get resentful. So then they can get a full-blown case of unforgiveness. Then love can't flow. And where there's no love, there's no power. Your faith won't work without love.
Faith Energized by Love
Galatians says, faith worketh and is energized through love. You're not going to get your prayers answered. I don't care how much faith prayers you pray, you're not going to get your prayers answered if you're mad at your spouse all the time, mad at your boss, mad at your neighbors, mad, mad, mad.
We've got to get that stuff out of our lives so we can have power because there's only power where people choose to live in agreement. Come on now. And I realize that we can't always help how we feel about people. I mean, there are some people that make it almost impossible to like them.
Do Right Even If You Don't Feel Like It
And I realize that we can't always do anything about how we feel about people, but we can do something about how we behave and how we act. I don't have to feel like doing what's right to do what's right. Amen? I do not have to feel like doing what's right to do what's right, and neither do you.
And if we keep waiting to feel like it, we're never going to get around to it. We have to want to do these things with all of our heart. The thing I want to do, I don't do. The thing I don't want to do, I do. And Paul goes on lamenting his situation in Romans 7.
No Condemnation for Those in Christ
Well, if I don't really want to do it, but I do it, is it really me doing it? You know, I was like, you can really get your brain scrambled if you read that. I had to look at that a good number of years before I finally got it. And then he goes toward the end of chapter 7 and he says, Oh, wretched man that I am!
And I can feel his pain. Can you feel his pain? Oh, wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? And then he answers it in the last verse in Romans 7. He says, Oh, exclamation mark. Thank God, He will! Through Jesus Christ. Next verse. There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. Come on, give God a big praise.
The Breastplate of God's Approval
Ephesians 6 teaches us principles of spiritual warfare. Ephesians 6:11-18. Put on the full armor of God, it says. It goes into individual pieces of the armor. If you want to defeat the enemy. If you want to block all of his fiery darts. Put on the belt of truth. That means when you get in trouble, that's when you hang on to the Word.
Actually, it says tighten the belt of truth. That means when you're having trouble, you hang on to the Word tighter than you ever have before. And then it says, and put on the breastplate of righteousness. But here's what the Living Bible says. It says wear the breastplate of God's approval. I love that.
Separate Your Who from Your Do
You don't go around being condemned thinking about everything that's wrong with you all the time. That's one issue. God's dealing with you about that. But He approves of you. He doesn't approve of everything you do, but He approves of you. You have to separate your who from your do.
No matter what you do, you're still children of God. He still loves you. And you know the whole thing. Your kids are your kids. You can rail on them, but nobody else better come along and say anything bad about them. And the truth is, you're none of the devil's business.
Talk Back to the Devil
And when he comes around and tries to condemn you about your behavior, you need to just say, devil, God knew all about me before I ever showed up on planet Earth. He loves me. He has accepted me when I was still yet in sin. He sent His only Son to die for me. Now you get out of my face because I'm none of your business. I belong to God.
You got to talk back to the devil. Don't just sit around and go, I'm no good. No good. Yes, no good. That's right. I'm a mess. Yes, yes, yes. This is the way we go to church. This is the way we go to church. Every Sunday morning. This is the way we go back home. This is the way we go back home. No, we're not going to live like that anymore.
Peace with God and Yourself
We are the righteousness of God in Jesus Christ. Set apart and made holy by the blood of the Lamb. God is not surprised by your weaknesses. You may be, but He's not. I know sometimes we wonder, how in the world could God use me?
Peace with God. Peace with yourself. And I'm going to say again, if you can't get along with you, you're not going to get along with anybody else. I didn't have anybody tell me what I'm telling you. I had to find it out the hard way.
Learning to Love Yourself
I struggled for years and years and years and years trying to love people and get along with people. I mean, miserable. I loved God and I wanted to be kind. I wanted to walk in the fruit of the Spirit. I wanted to be a loving person. And I just was not. And there's a lot of Christians that aren't very nice. And I used to be one of them.
But I found out what the root of my problem was. I couldn't love anybody else because I didn't really love me. We all have things about ourselves that we don't love. But we can love ourselves. The us that God has created us to be.
Respecting Differences in Others
Now, the only way that we're ever going to get along with people... Now, I want you to listen to me. The only way we're ever going to get along with people is to give each individual a right to be who they are, which is different than you. I'm telling you, this is so important.
I love what the Apostle Paul said. I have learned how to be all things to all people. Whatever it takes to win them. And I think instead of learning how to be all things to all people... we're trying to change all people to make them like us.
Let God Be the Potter
God's the Potter. We're not. And you probably have somebody in your immediate family that you need to go home and let off the Potter's wheel. Because you've been trying to remold them and refashion them into what you'd like them to be long enough. And they are tired of it.
And just to get real blunt, if you keep it up, they're going to end up not liking you at all. People are created by God for freedom and liberty and the expression of that liberty. And this whole pride thing comes into play here because for some reason we all think that we're the ones that are right.
Unity Through Respect
And everybody who doesn't think like us, do it like us, like what we like, want what we want has got something wrong with them. We need all of us for things to go around properly. All of us. And until we learn to have respect for all people, there's going to be no unity.
And it begins in our heart. Begins in our private thought life and how we think about people. Don't think that you can ever treat people right if you're going to think about them wrong. It's not just about us trying to control our behavior. We have to start by controlling our thoughts.
Root of Rejection
How do we think about people? Now the minute I catch myself with somebody who's not doing it the way I'm doing it and they're kind of irritating me and I start to think, what is wrong with you? I mean I'll even say out loud, stop it Joyce. Just stop it. Lose the attitude. You've got to talk to yourself.
You know I'm a meat and potatoes person. Just tell me absolutely what I have to know and no more. I don't want all the details... that's why I got you. Just go take care of them. But there are some people who they cannot stand it not to tell you every detail. Just can't stand it.
Disagreement Doesn't Mean Rejection
And I finally learned they just don't know how to talk without telling all that. And so it's a great way to learn patience. Man. We all have a right to have our own opinion without pressure from somebody else to have it be their opinion.
Now one of the problems that I believe we have is we have a root of rejection in our own life. We can't stand it when other people disagree with us. Because we feel rejected when they do. And I used to have a real problem with this. Didn't realize what was wrong with me.
Maintaining Peace at Home
And I would always say today we can't talk about anything! Sound familiar ladies? Have you ever started having a nice little conversation about something simple like getting the groceries. And all of a sudden you're way down the road somewhere fighting about 20 other things that have nothing to do with... and you're like how did I get from there to here?
And you're just confused. You don't even know what happened! You were just trying to talk about something simple! And Dave used to tell me we don't talk... you talk... and you want me to listen! Now come on ladies... some of you might learn a lesson there!
Eight Keys to Better Relationships
See I'm trying to get you to understand that maintaining peace and unity and respect in your homes is going to affect your prosperity. It's going to affect your promotion in life. It's going to affect your blessings. It's going to affect the anointing on your life.
Living the kind of life that God wants us to live does not come to us just because we do a bunch of outward religious things. It comes because we put them into action in our daily lives at home, behind closed doors, in the marketplace, in the grocery store, at our place of business, at our schools.
Be Courteous and Respectful
Let me give you a list of eight things that I think will help you in relationships. First of all, be courteous and respectful toward others, even if you don't agree with them. When somebody has a different opinion than yours, don't say, what? How could you possibly like that?
You say, well, you know, I respect your right to have your opinion, and I don't particularly feel that way, but I respect your right to feel the way you want to feel. I believe when we keep peace in these situations, then God can get in there and work. We need to let God be God.
Listen with an Open Mind
Number two, listen with an open mind. If somebody has a different opinion than you, don't just shut them out and stubbornly refuse to be open-minded to even consider that they might be right and you might be wrong. Painful, I know, but helpful.
Be willing to pray about what they said. The Bible says that wisdom is willing to yield to reason. Be willing to pray about what they said.
Avoid Being Easily Offended
Number four, don't be touchy and easily offended. Don't be the kind of person that's so insecure that if you don't get 50 compliments a day, you're falling apart.
Number five, keep looking for a place where you can agree rather than arguing about what you don't agree on. You can save a marriage that's in trouble if you will find one or two things to start complimenting that person about instead of 12 things to murmur and grumble about.
Look for the Good
Well, bless God, nobody's complimenting me. Well, then you start. Look for things that are good about people. Look for them. The flesh isn't going to notice them. You've got to do it on purpose, spiritually.
Don't find everything you can wrong with your job. Be thankful you got one. And if you really don't like it that much, then just zip your lip and go get another one. But don't start a bunch of trouble while you're there.
Watch Voice Tones and Body Language
Number six, be very careful about voice tones and body language as well as ill-chosen words. Now, I've had an issue with the voice tones thing. My father was a very harsh, hard man. He just was mean. And everything he said sounded mean. Everything he said sounded rough and crude and harsh.
And sadly, because I was around that so many years in my formative years, I came out very much the same way. And I have begged and pleaded for gentleness and kindness and tenderness. And it's just something that I have to stay after in my life because I'm just very like... And I don't have a problem telling you that. We've all got things that we have to keep working with God on.
Choose the Right Timing
Another thing we need to do is when we need to have a confrontation with somebody to keep it from being strifeful, we need to pick the right time. Don't go try to confront a problem with somebody when they're really tired, about half sick, and have already had a rotten day at the office.
Pray and ask God to show you the right timing. And don't just dive into situations without praying first if you already know it's going to be a little bit tedious. It's one of the ways you can keep strife out of your life. Pray and pick your timing. Ask God to anoint it. To open the door.
Overcome Selfishness
And then lastly, if you want to get along with people, we've got to get over being selfish. Because it's not all about me. It's not all about you. It's about all of us corporately together. God loves us all. Equally. The power of agreement is a wonderful thing.