Joyce Meyer - Truth About Identity - Part 2
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Hey, everyone. Welcome to «Enjoying Everyday Life». There are seasons that we all go through that cause us to question our identity. Right now, some of you are going through a divorce, or a job change, or you’re struggling after the death of a loved one, or you’re pondering what to do after the kids leave home. These situations and many others can make us wonder, who am I now without these things or these people in my life? Well, today, on the show, Joyce, Erin, and I, along with our guest, Laney Rene, continue to talk the truth about identity. And I believe it’s going to help you no matter what it is that you’re going through right now. Join us.
Joyce Meyer: We don’t have to, you know, fall apart when we make mistakes. We just repent, and wanna do better in the future and go on.
Erin Cluley: Yeah.
Ginger Stache: Laney, this is something that you have done with many groups of women to help them grasp this concept, that’s so important. What do you see in women as you do this? What are some of the things that people are struggling with?
Laney Rene: Oh man.
Joyce Meyer: Everything.
Laney Rene: I feel like this is one of the hardest things to believe actually, is just the righteousness of Christ. I feel like sometimes I’ll get up there and I’ll share, and I can share 30 minutes on who they are, and why they are who they are, and how that righteousness is theirs. And then, right after, get a question that is like, «Were you listening»? You know?
Ginger Stache: Did you ever feel that way, Joyce? «Were you listening»?
Laney Rene: But I don’t mean that ugly. It’s just like we go, our nature is to go back to trying to earn it. And it’s like you can’t. You will spin your wheels forever.
Joyce Meyer: And that is such a humbling thing, you know, to realize, «I just, I am nothing without him». And I remember God telling me one time he said, «You remember that everything good that happens through you is not you. It just means I’ve wrestled with you long enough to get a little bit more of you that I can work through». And, you know, I’m Joyce Meyer, okay. But I’m waiting for the day when somebody says to me, «Didn’t you used to be Joyce Meyer»? Because, see, I’m still gonna be Joyce Meyer even when I’m not, «Joyce Meyer». You know, if I ever get too old to do this, I don’t know if I will or not, but. You know, I’m sure that, like, movie stars, maybe… I saw a documentary about Joan Crawford, and somebody asked her, «Didn’t you used to be Joan Crawford»? Well, see, they were basing it on what she did, instead of who she was. And so, we really need to separate our who and or do. I say that all the time. You know, it’s like we always wanna know what people do. And if they do something that’s impressive, then we automatically think they’re more valuable than somebody who washes windows or scrubs floors. And we’re all valuable to God.
Ginger Stache: Do you ever find that when you have a setback, when maybe, you have a big change in your life or you lose something important to you, you know, you have a heartbreak, that I think it’s a natural thing for us to then go back and ask, «Oh, but God, I thought I was okay, and now I don’t feel that I am again,» because of circumstances in our life. So, how do we get beyond the circumstances that we’re living in, to let this become a more of a piece of who we are, instead of what’s going on around us?
Erin Cluley: I was thinking, Laney, when you were talking earlier, that, that Revelation that you have with God, when you fully understand who you are in him, it becomes, for my experience, like this safe place. And so, I know I can go to him, and I like, I can visualize what that looks like. I am sitting under a tree with Jesus, and it’s my head on his shoulder. And I’m young and in this vision that I have. And so, when different seasons happen, I feel like that’s just part of life. We’re gonna go through seasons that are gonna cause us to question our identity. And I can’t avoid it. It is going to happen. But I know I can always go back to that place. Like, what’s that safe place I have with Jesus where I’m not anybody else, I’m just Erin? Just his daughter that he created. And I can go back. That’s where my roots are. Like, that’s my foundation of who I am in him. And I don’t have, there’s nobody else there but me and him. I’m not earning anything. It’s just to continue to go back to the source and to be reminded, «No, this is who I am». So, then he can send me back out.
Ginger Stache: Oh, I love that. That’s great!
Erin Cluley: That’s the reason, you know?
Ginger Stache: Yeah.
Erin Cluley: But I feel like you just have to keep going back to him.
Joyce Meyer: And we do have to remember we have an enemy, the devil. And I think one of his number one goals is to make us think all the time, there’s something wrong with us, there’s something wrong with us. And I can guarantee that all four of us could name something pretty quick that we don’t like about ourselves. You know. And yet, we believe God created us with his own hand. You know, like, I mean, for a long time, I just hated my voice because my voice is deeper than most women’s and here God is blasting it all over the world. Well, he gave me my voice on purpose. And now, I realize, you know, that because it’s different, it commands attention. And I believe that it also makes it easier for men to listen to me, because I don’t have this and, we have to learn to, «God created us,» the Bible says, «Intricately and carefully with his own hand in our mother’s womb». And so, you’re not a mistake if you’re not shaped exactly like somebody else, or you don’t do exactly what somebody else does.
Ginger Stache: I think there’s a easy place that we can go that we overlook that individualism of what God created in us. Like, we even think about John 3:16, «For God so loved the world that he gave his son», and we can all get on board with that. What we miss sometimes is that God so loved me that he gave me his son. And it’s not just a sprinkle around to everybody, it’s individual. And I think that’s a really important thing for us to get down to. Laney, you said something that I think is really good. You said, «Sometimes letting go of the things we found our identity in, that are incorrect, can require a full-on detox». So, because it is those things that keep us from that individual, understanding of what Christ did for us. So, what does a detox look like? How do we detox all this stuff out of the way?
Laney Rene: Well, tangibly, for me it looked like quitting a lot of things that were like, my normal. The things that I found comfort in, moving away from my family. Like, not saying everyone should do that, but that was kind of the tangible things that I felt like God was saying, like, «Let go of this, let go of this, let go of this». Because he wanted to show me something better.
Joyce Meyer: Things that your security’s in.
Laney Rene: Yes, yes. And just letting go. And I think, then it becomes just his word, like, I fell in love with his word. I’d heard scripture my whole life, growing up in a Christian home, but when I started to open it and look for Jesus, to not look for what I’ve done wrong, you know, like we’re saying, or what I need to change, but looking for Jesus in the story, and I have so much to learn still, but simply that just changed things for me and started to change me from the inside out. And it was really cool. I just turned 30 this year and, I was kind of…
Joyce Meyer: You, old thing, you. I have to laugh when people do that.
Laney Rene: But I was thinking back to my 20th birthday and thinking about just like the difference between what I wanted then, and what I wanted this time. Like, just that Marker of, like, I want it to be…
Ginger Stache: Oh, honey, wait for 40 and 50. I mean, it just, I love talking about these changes because it’s so important.
Laney Rene: Yeah, but I wanted to be worthy of my title, you know? I wanted to be beautiful. I wanted all these, like, physical milestone things. And yes, when I turned 30, I had some of those things that 20-year-old Laney wanted. But my desires have so changed. He’s changed me. He’s changed what brings life to me. He’s changed my desires. He’s changed what I want, you know? And I think the detox just comes from opening his word, looking for him, asking him to speak to you and just receiving, like, just receive what he’s done. And that changes you from the inside out. And it’s less about, you know, trying to make it happen or trying to do the right thing over and over, but just receiving what he’s done.
Joyce Meyer: And just being obedient, one step at a time. Like, he was telling you to let go of things. And that’s not easy, you know. I guess the more you do it, the easier it gets, because you see the good result. But you know, God asked Abraham to leave his family and, «Go to a place that I will show you». Well, I mean, that had to be really difficult. I mean, I might say, «Well, you show me, and I’ll go, if I think I’m gonna like it». But, you know, he just packed up and took off and didn’t even know where he was going. And I think sometimes we all feel like that. It’s like you let go of one thing and you’re hoping God’s gonna do this other thing, but you’re not sure that he is until you actually, he always makes us let go, before he proves that he’s gonna do the next thing.
Erin Cluley: Yeah.
Ginger Stache: You talked about a verse… Well, we all, probably most of us know it, Jeremiah 29:11. But the original Hebrew, you said, helped you so much to understand that it’s not just, «I have a hope and a future for you,» but that, in that is healing from the past. And I think that’s a lot of this for people, is that, «I can’t understand who I am because my wounds, don’t allow me to, because they’re still kind of gaping and open». And so, that healing is a big part of this, isn’t it? To be able to gather that Christ not only loves us, but that whatever it is that has made us feel unworthy or unlovable or not worthy of what God does want us to receive, that’s what holds us back. That he wants to heal those so that, then we can receive it.
Laney Rene: Thinking back too, I’m like, my healing came in that season and then my life changed. Like, I think, you know, we want the physical…
Joyce Meyer: Right.
Laney Rene: Like you’re saying. But healing came. And then, it was like, I didn’t really care about a lot of the other things. Like, I really didn’t. But then, all of a sudden, some of those things just flung wide open, you know, and I got to enjoy them so much more because I felt whole, you know?
Ginger Stache: Yeah.
Joyce Meyer: You were talking about your desires changing. And, I have pondered a couple of scriptures in the Bible. One says, «If you abide in me and my word abides in you, you can ask whatever you will, and I’ll do it». And I’m like, «How can you make that kind of promise to, you know, people»? But the fact is, is if you do abide in him and in his word, you will become so close to him that you’re not gonna want anything other than what he wants for you. And I frequently, when I ask God for something that’s not specifically in the word, I’ll say, «And please don’t give it to me if it’s not right,» because there’s nothing worse than having a bunch of stuff that you connived around to get, and it’s not really God for you.
Erin Cluley: You know, one thing, I think it’s interesting on the healing piece of it, too, when you abide in him like that, when you’re that close to him, and he’s healed the past hurts and you begin to discover who you are in him, then when future hurts happen, they don’t cut his deep because you can go back to, «No, this is what the word says that I am. This is who God says I am». So, I can take that wound and God can heal you quicker, is that fair to say? Because it’s not sinking so deep because you know the truth. And it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. It still hurts.
Joyce Meyer: It doesn’t have time to get deep roots in you though.
Erin Cluley: Yeah, yeah. Which I think is amazing. He heals you for the past and then it impacts your future moving forward.
Joyce Meyer: Right.
Ginger Stache: We get a lot of questions on social media, you know, of people talking about doubt in their life. Like, you know, «How can I have the righteousness of Christ when I have done so and so and so and so,» or, you know, this person makes a great point. They say, «I recently just started self-talk that God loves me. I say it over and over and over again in hopes that I will transform my own thinking». And you’ve talked about that a lot, that there are those things that we have barriers in our hearts, in our lives, in our minds, that somehow, we have to overcome so that we begin to grasp this. So, are there suggestions that you would give?
Joyce Meyer: Well, that’s why I have this list, and anybody can download it free. It just, you can just look up…
Ginger Stache: Yeah, if you go to joycemeyer.org/GRL you’ll find it there.
Joyce Meyer: Okay. Or, «Knowing who I am in Christ by Joyce Meyer,» and it will give you this list of, I don’t know how many things are here. Do you know how many there are?
Erin Cluley: Over 40.
Joyce Meyer: Over 40. All things with the scripture to back it up. And if you would just look every one of these scriptures up, you know, don’t be spiritually lazy. Do your homework. That’s how I found all this out. And…
Ginger Stache: I think that’s really important.
Erin Cluley: It is.
Ginger Stache: Don’t be spiritually lazy.
Joyce Meyer: Well, you know, some people just want everybody to download it for them. And, you know, it’s like, I am making this easy for you. But you can look the scripture up, and even though I’ve written the scripture out here, you can still look it up.
Ginger Stache: And it means more when we find it for ourselves as well.
Joyce Meyer: I love Mark 4. It says, «The measure of thought and study that you give to the truth that you hear is the measure of virtue and knowledge that will come back to you again». So just because you hear it, yes, you get a little something out of that, but you get more out of it when you do a little digging yourself. And, you know, frankly, I’m glad when I was first started teaching that I didn’t have all the electronic tools that we have available to us now. I mean, studying for a message used to be, I mean, I might study seven, eight hours, you know, for one, one hour message. And now, I can just hit a button, «Give me all the scriptures on the love of God…» Right there it is. All that used to take me a long time. But I think it was good, because it made me dig it out. It made me, you know, do it. But like, for example, are you ever in a situation where you feel out of place?
Ginger Stache: All the time.
Joyce Meyer: All the time. Okay. So, here’s a scripture for you. «I am complete in him». So…
Erin Cluley: Love that one.
Joyce Meyer: Let’s just say that maybe somebody was married, and they had this group of married friends, and then their spouse dies, and their friends are still inviting them to things, but now they feel totally out of place. They don’t have to, because they’re complete in Christ. I worked at a church in st. Louis for five years, and I was on the staff and part of everything that went on, and when God called me to start my own ministry, I still went to church there. But I felt really out of place because I wasn’t what I used to be, and I wasn’t included in things that I used to be included in. And I would leave almost every week depressed, you know. But I was still the same person. My completeness was not in being on that staff. We are complete in him. And so, I would recommend anybody that’s struggling with this. Print this out, and look these up, and confess these things out loud, every day. «I have the mind of Christ». «I am far from oppression, and I will not live in fear». «I’m free from the law of sin and death». And, I mean, it’s just, you know. «I’m merciful». «I don’t judge other people». You can change the way you think about yourself by doing what you call self-talk. You can talk to yourself quietly inside, but you can also talk to yourself out loud. And this is what I did. I mean, I confess things. I made a list of 60 things that I wanted to see happen in my life, and not one of them were a reality, but they were all scriptural. I had scripture to back…
Ginger Stache: That’s the key isn’t it?
Joyce Meyer: I had scripture to back every one of them up. And I could say, now, I have every one of them.
Erin Cluley: Wow.
Joyce Meyer: We receive from God through believing. Believing what he says. And we receive from the enemy by believing what he says.
Erin Cluley: This is probably my most favorite topic to talk about. And so, I took your list too, and I pulled out a couple that we do with the kids every night. So, they know, «I have the mind of Christ,» and, «I’m fearfully and wonderfully made». So much so, that they’re like, «I know, mom, I have the mind of Christ». I’m like, «That’s right, you do, and you say it over and over again». But I think if my kids know nothing else, I want them to know that their identity is found in Christ, because I think it impacts our entire lives. It impacts how I set boundaries with people, because I know that my identity is in him, not what you say about me. It impacts the humility that I have. It impacts our whole lives. So, I just, I’m so appreciative that you gave us this outline for this.
Joyce Meyer: And the enemy goes after kids.
Erin Cluley: Yes.
Joyce Meyer: He tries to start making them feel insecure, inadequate. But you know, like you said, you were a little chubby, while I was too. And so, that was always a little bit of an issue because invariably I’d have skinny friends and…
Laney Rene: But I’m thankful for it now.
Joyce Meyer: Yeah, I’m thankful I’m not chubby anymore. But you know, I am too. But I’m thankful that I was then. Like…
Ginger Stache: Why is that?
Laney Rene: Because I still have pictures of me, as a little girl, chubby. And like, that girl is the same girl, that I am right now. Meaning she was tender. She knew who she was. She was a kid. She had nothing to gain, nothing to lose. She was just perfectly herself.
Ginger Stache: She was loved. Yeah.
Laney Rene: And I go back to that often. My dad, actually, when I call my dad, that’s the picture that pops up, is a picture of me, ten years old, chubby at a horse farm. And he loves it, you know. But that’s how it…
Joyce Meyer: But there can be things that affect kids, that are actually almost silly things when you get older and you look back at 'em, but it can affect them for years and years. And I remember one that happened to me, it was a Halloween, and my dad never wanted to spend any money on anything just because you liked it. And, so, he wasn’t gonna buy me any kind of Halloween costume. So, my mother bought me this ugly, rubber, wolf mask and all these other girls at school, they were fairy princesses, and their mothers had made them dresses. And I remember somebody making fun of me. And I remember, I still I can see this school yard just as plain as anything, right now. I remember backing up in a corner and just kind of hiding from everybody. And, I felt ugly, because of that ugly, wolf mask. And so, there are things that may be bothering people that they’ve forgotten even happened to them. But it was traumatic for me, at that time. But the good news is, Jesus is our healer. And if we will open our hearts to him like Laney did, and we all did in some kind of a different way. He will heal you. It will not be overnight. It will take time. Sometimes it will hurt. But if you stick with it, you can also be free from all those things that are a problem for you.
Ginger Stache: You talk about different scriptures that have impacted all of us and not being spiritually lazy so that we can find those things and hold on to them and believe. And one of them, for me, is Ephesians 2:10. It says, «For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works». And that means so much to me, because again, it’s like that, with God so loving the world is very broad. But it’s not just that I was even created by God, but it’s I’m his workmanship. That means he took his hands with me, specifically, in mind and gave me parts of my mom, and parts of my dad, and parts of Christ, that he just wanted me to have to be able to serve him, and created something totally different than anybody else. And when I look at all the problems that I see in those things, I’m like, «God, why did you make me so mouthy»? You know, «Why are some of these things going on»? And he’s like, «I knew what I was doing. I created you for good works». And they’ve been a part of God’s plan for me all along. And so, there are so many beautiful things in the word that we could hold on to that really do change our hearts.