Joyce Meyer - Truth About Identity - Part 1
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Hi, everyone. Welcome to «Enjoying Everyday Life». You are going to be glad you are here, and this is why. Having a strong sense of identity is so important because it gives us an understanding of who we are as a person. But in today’s society, our identity is under attack and culture tries to influence us by telling us who we are. And it can be difficult to remain grounded in truth. So, it’s imperative that we build our identity on something and someone that will not be shaken even when culture is changing. So, today, on «Enjoying Everyday Life,» we’re going to talk about the truth of identity with Joyce, Erin, yours truly, and our guest, Laney Rene. Come and join us.
Ginger Stache: Hi everyone. Welcome to Joyce Meyer’s talk it out podcast. And today, we are talking about a question that everybody asks at some point in life and probably at many points in life, and that is, «Who am I? Where does my value come from»? And so, we are so glad you are here too, because, I was just talking with Laney, who’s our guest today, about how we can’t talk about this topic enough. You know, we have to understand who we are in Christ. So, Joyce talks about this all the time. Erin’s with us. And as I said, we have our special guest today, Laney Rene. Laney, thank you. We love having you here.
Laney Rene: Thank you all. I feel so honored to just be here. And yeah, I feel honored.
Ginger Stache: Well, we’re so glad to have you. And you have so much to offer. So, you’re gonna get to know Laney, and you’re gonna love her. But she’s a wife and a mom, an author, a speaker, and so many other things. A… what’s it called? A background dancer.
Laney Rene: Was, was.
Ginger Stache: So many things that we can throw out with your name, that are so fun.
Joyce Meyer: Well, she has surpassed me.
Ginger Stache: But one of the real important things on your heart, and a ministry, actually, that you’ve devoted around it, is to telling people how important it is to realize who they are.
Laney Rene: Yeah, yeah, and honestly, that came from my own brokenness, my own story of, just like you said, rediscovering again and again who I am. And, I think that’s the reason it’s on my heart so much is it’s so personal and I’ve just seen over and over again, like, it’s the thing that we don’t grow out of. It’s the thing that we need to keep being reminded of over and over again: who we are, and not simply by looking at ourselves, but just looking at Jesus, looking at how wonderful and good and kind he is. And you can never do that enough.
Ginger Stache: That’s true.
Laney Rene: And when we see him, we see who we truly are. And that’s just brought so much freedom and life to my life. And so, I want people to know that. I want women to know that, and experience that.
Ginger Stache: Yeah, we do too. And before we start with Joyce just sharing what the word says about this a little bit, I wanna ask all of us, because I think it is something that so many people relate to, is, where are some of the places that you have all looked for, worth and value, you know, different times throughout your life? We try a lot of things to see where we can find it. Where are some of the places that you’ve looked?
Joyce Meyer: Well, trying to be successful for the wrong reason? You know, it’s fine to be successful, but you need to make sure that you have a right motive when you’re doing it. Not to get your worth and value out of it, but especially with what I’m doing, but to really do it unto the Lord. And I’ve found myself, before I found out who I was in Christ, comparing myself with other people a lot. Being called to be a female in ministry, when I first started 48 years ago was not very common, and so I had a lot of people thinkin' I was off the wall. And the devil does love to lie to us. And he would tell me, «You need to be a regular woman. You know, you’re…»
Ginger Stache: Whatever that is.
Joyce Meyer: Yeah. So, I had a neighbor that was more like a regular woman. She sewed and gardened and all those things. And I actually took sewing lessons and tried to learn how to sew and got Dave to dig up a garden. He always says, I say, «I grew a garden,» but he actually grew it. But none of that stuff worked for me. It was like bugs ate my tomatoes. Just when it was about time to harvest them. And but they didn’t eat my neighbors right next door.
Ginger Stache: That’s not fair.
Erin Cluley: Yours were really good.
Joyce Meyer: And I said, «God, I prayed over my tomatoes». He said, «I don’t have to bless your tomatoes. I didn’t tell you to grow tomatoes». And so, just so many people don’t like who they are.
Ginger Stache: Yeah.
Joyce Meyer: And the thing that’s so important to learn is: you can’t give away what you don’t have in you. So, if you don’t love yourself, you really can’t love other people.
Ginger Stache: Yeah, that’s really true.
Joyce Meyer: I tried a little bit of everything to be something until I found out that it was all in Christ.
Erin Cluley: Yeah, I can see a lot of that even after becoming a mom. And, Laney, I’m sure you can relate to this. You’re like right in the middle of it too, feeling the need to compare to other moms. And I don’t make everything organic like the other moms. And I sometimes give my kids chips, and sometimes they have candy that has red dye in it. And there’s so much in culture that is comparison for moms. So that’s an area that I have to continually go back to. «Who does God call me to be? Who does he say I am as a mom? Am I doing what’s right for my family and living at the standard he has set for our home»? So, that’s an area where I have to constantly remind myself, and I love what you said, it doesn’t stop. Like every day I have to remind myself in that, or comparing to other friends or…
Joyce Meyer: The enemy is always after trying to make us feel bad about ourselves. Or when you do make a mistake and you sin, trying to make you feel guilty for days and days on end, because of that.
Erin Cluley: And if you don’t recognize that, you can get stuck in that. And it’s exhausting and overwhelming.
Joyce Meyer: Right.
Erin Cluley: Yeah. Sorry.
Laney Rene: I always feel like too, he compares us to whatever we’re not like, you saying, like, feeling like, you felt like you felt the pressure to be a normal woman. Well, the woman who feels normal, I think, puts it on herself that she should be like you.
Joyce Meyer: Right. Yeah.
Laney Rene: Or the mom thing, like, you know, I mom differently than… I have a sister and two sister-in-laws. And we go on trips together and I can start comparing. I’m like, «Okay, you prepared dinner at lunch time». You know, like, I never do that. I don’t even know what we’re gonna eat for lunch, you know? And it’s so easy to get in that just comparison game. But, yeah, just…
Joyce Meyer: It’s so freeing when people learn not to do that, to appreciate people for who they are.
Erin Cluley: Yeah.
Joyce Meyer: But not to feel like that you need to try to be like them. God put on my heart one time, he said, «It’s ridiculous to be jealous of somebody else’s gift, because I put that gift in them for you to enjoy». And I thought about that, like, even with my gift of teaching, other people enjoy it. It’s work for me. And so, you know, in wanting to be like other people, a lot of times we wanna be like them, but do we want to do what they did to be who they are? You can’t do that if you’re not anointed by God to do it.
Ginger Stache: I’ve fallen into that trap of thinking, «If I get to this point then I’ll be there». You know, «If I get this career,» «If I get this award,» «If I have this accomplishment,» «If my child does this,» «If my marriage looks like this,» all of those things, and you can get many of those things and still not at all feel content or satisfied or really know who you are, because that’s not what God is asking of us. He’s asking such different things from us. It’s so much more about our heart than it is all those other things. So, and I know many of you, you have probably been going through all the same things, and we talk about knowing who you are in Christ. Joyce is saying that that is the key. That’s what God’s word says. But your first question may be, «What does that even mean»? So, let’s hear what Joyce has to say about that, and we’ll come back, and we’ll talk more.
Joyce Meyer: The Bible says, «The Kingdom of God is not meat and drink, but it is righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost». And you know what? It has to come in that order. Like, you first have to learn who you are in Christ, that you’ve been made right with him, then you can have peace with God, and peace with yourself, and when you have that, then you can have joy. But just to be saved won’t give you joy, because if you don’t know who you are in Christ, you are never, ever, ever, gonna really be consistently happy. Because if you’re insecure, and don’t know who you are in Christ, I know what I am in myself, not too much, I make mistakes. I mean, I’ve got a couple of things in my life that I’ve finally just come to the conclusion, you know what? God’s not gonna take 'em away. He’s just gonna let me keep those, just to keep me humble. And you may not agree with this, but well, actually, there’s a scripture that says, that God leaves a certain amount of weakness in us to keep us depending on him. You’re not ever going to get to the point where you do everything perfectly, never. And so, I think I’ll always be a little mouthy. I’ve improved a whole lot, but, ooh…I mean, I can pray one minute, «God put a watch over my mouth, so I don’t sin against you with my tongue». Walk right out of the room where I prayed, blah, blah, blah. This knowing who you are in Christ is more than just a little, cutesy, religious statement, I mean it is the key. It is the key. Jesus said, «It is finished». And I’ll tell you something, Christianity doesn’t begin with a do, it begins with a done.
Ginger Stache: That is such a big statement that Jesus has already done this thing that we are all striving for. And Laney, I know that you’ve talked about this was a question in your life from a really early age, right, from the time you were pretty young?
Laney Rene: Yeah, I can still remember first time, like maybe not the first time, but the memory that comes to my mind of questioning who I was, was five years old.
Ginger Stache: Wow.
Laney Rene: You know, just comparing myself to my little five-year-old friend. And I thought I wasn’t cute like she was. And I can still remember, I thought, we had like a little Christmas play at our church, and she got picked for the role. And my thought was not that I wasn’t happy for her. I just remember thinking, «The reason they chose her is because I’m chubby and not cute like her». And I can still remember that, you know, like it kept following me into different seasons of life. And, what you were saying about just that kind of Christian term of, you know, knowing «Who we are,» like, I grew up hearing, «I’m a daughter of the king,» you know, but it didn’t become real to me until I had my own moment of like, seeing God, feeling his love for me, seeing him as a father. And then it was like, «Oh, now that I’ve seen you, now I know who I am».
Ginger Stache: Yeah, this is different.
Laney Rene: «I’m yours».
Ginger Stache: Yeah.
Laney Rene: And I’ll never forget that. You know, it can be, it’s a mental thing for so long. You can grow up in a Christian home. You can hear it all your life. But until it becomes real to you, like you need to hear God say that…
Ginger Stache: How did that happen.
Laney Rene: To you. So, I was living out a dream of being a backup dancer, traveling the world, doing something that I love. And I really just felt like God said, «Let go». Like, let go of all of that. At the same time, I was also dating a guy I dated for four years, and I just didn’t have peace. And yet I was trying to create peace. And I remember finding myself in my apartment alone. Felt like God said, «Let go». Let go of the relationship, quit the dream job, just didn’t have anything else to hide myself in anymore. And I found myself in my apartment alone and just saying, «God,» like, «Without all of this, who am i? I don’t know who I am». And I’d found my identity in something that wasn’t, truly secure for a long time. And so, I didn’t have that title and that role of, like, you know, people would ask me who I was, and I’d be like, «I’m a backup dancer,» because that was, to me, everything. You know, at the time, I thought it would prove my worth. But I just in that moment felt like God reminded me of a video of myself, that my mom had sent me when I was just, like, a few months earlier of me when I was a little girl. And in this video, I was like three years old, and I just, i, like, pick up this little karaoke mic and said, with such confidence, «I love Jesus». And it was less about what I said, I think, as much as I felt like God was just showing me, «You’re a daughter,» like, «This is who you are. Before you could prove anything, before you had any status or any titles, like you had nothing to prove, nothing to hide, and you knew…»
Joyce Meyer: Right.
Laney Rene: «Who you are». And that moment just changed. Just not that, all of a sudden, I had my life figured out. You know, like the next few months, I didn’t have a job, and I was in a new town, and I didn’t have a bunch of friends, but God was just revealing himself to me in a way that was so real and so close, and it just changed my life from that point on. And walked through some things, had moments where I’ve questioned my identity still. I mean, I can step into stuff like this and I’m like, «Oh my gosh, God». Like, I mean, just being real. Like, «I don’t feel qualified to be there, but I don’t feel qualified to share. But you are so good. And I know that you’ll go with me and that’s all that matters,» and so.
Ginger Stache: Yeah.
Erin Cluley: I think those kind of moments like that, because I’ve experienced that too, where there was a turning point, where I knew that I’m a daughter of God, like I had been taught that as well. But a turning point when that became Revelation, to like, my core, that you could not talk me out of that.
Laney Rene: Yeah.
Erin Cluley: And it doesn’t mean it’s not hard on some days. That doesn’t mean I don’t have to remind myself who I am over and over. But when something happens in your heart and it shifts and you fully grasp that unending love that he has for me as a child of God, not Erin, the mom, or the employee or whatever, «It’s Erin, the child that I created you and your mother’s womb to be,» when you can grasp that and connect it into your heart like, you can’t talk me out of that. You can’t tell me anything that would tell me otherwise. The fact that God loves me and created me. And I think that’s so beautiful.
Ginger Stache: Doesn’t matter if it’s a bad hair day.
Erin Cluley: No.
Ginger Stache: It doesn’t matter, you know, really, it doesn’t matter if I just failed at something that I worked really hard on. It doesn’t matter if somebody else looks at me and doesn’t see who God says I am, because that’s not where any of it comes from. When you go through those things, though, you know, that really is when God cements. That’s how you learn it. Because if you don’t have that life experience, it’s like you said, you know it when you’re young, but life tries to tell you something different. Satan tries to tell you something different. And so, it kind of takes those moments, I think, for all of us, probably many times, to come back and say, «Okay, I’ve gotta go back to the roots. I have to go back to the righteousness of Christ».
Joyce Meyer: I think one of the things that all people make a mistake on, is we try to get things instead of receiving things. I mean, like, you know, you’ll ask somebody, «Did you get your breakthrough»? «Did you get saved»? «Did you get filled with the Holy Ghost»? You know, we’re always trying to get something, but the Bible says, «To as many as received him, gave he the power to become a child of God». And, «Did you receive the Holy Spirit»? You know. So, how many people love God, but they don’t ever take time to just receive his love? So, I formed a habit in the morning when I say, «I love you, Lord,» I always say, «And I receive your love,» for me, just to remind myself. And so…
Ginger Stache: Yeah.
Joyce Meyer: «To get» means: to obtain by struggle and effort. But «To receive» means: to act like a receptacle and just take in what’s being offered. And so, that was helpful to me to learn that I needed to not just always be trying to give God something so, I was good and felt good about myself, but to take time to just receive from him and to know that the things that he gives me are not based on what I do. They’re just a gift.
Ginger Stache: So, now, you’re kinda telling people that they need to look at this differently. I mean, actually the words that you’re saying is, «Stop doing whatever you’re doing». And just open up your heart and that’s something that’s quite contrary to what the world tells us to do, to what we hear all of our lives.
Joyce Meyer: Well, in John 6, some of the disciples asked, «What must we do…»? «What must we do to be working the works of God? What must we do to please God»? And the answer was, the work that God requires of you is that you «Believe in the one whom he has sent». And, you know, we see that, and we think, «Well, there’s gotta be more than that».
Erin Cluley: «Too easy».
Ginger Stache: «That’s not enough».
Laney Rene: So, cool, you bring up that verse because that was one of the… I memorized that because it was like, that was so transformational for me of like, «Wow, that’s so cool».
Joyce Meyer: It helped me a lot too, that. And another scripture that really helped me, and I just had a little not acting so good day this week. And, so I was, you know, starting to feel a little bad and the Holy Spirit just brought up a scripture in me that means a lot to me. In Hebrews 4:15 it says, «We have a high priest who understands our weaknesses and our infirmities, because he’s been tempted at all points like we have, yet without sin. Therefore, you can come boldly to the throne and ask for what you need and get your need met in plenty of time». And I thought it was interesting that that was the scripture that he brought in my heart to battle, that feeling that I was having, which wasn’t a true feeling, you know. We all have days where we make mistakes. Or even sometimes, we didn’t make a mistake, but the enemy will try to make us think we did. You know, there’s false guilt as real as real guilt.
Ginger Stache: I think there has to be such a relief in a lot of people listening right now to say, «Joyce meyer doesn’t always know».
Laney Rene: Yeah.
Erin Cluley: Whoo!
Ginger Stache: «She has some bad days where…»
Joyce Meyer: «She acted out this week».
Ginger Stache: Because we do: it’s not a one and done thing. It’s not like you said, Laney, you got this message, and it became part of your heart, and you never questioned anything again. So…
Erin Cluley: Yeah, so, can I tell you then, a confession for myself today?
Ginger Stache: Yeah.
Erin Cluley: Two hours ago.
Joyce Meyer: Please, tell.
Erin Cluley: You’re welcome. So…
Joyce Meyer: Then I’ll decide if I’m giving you my jacket or, not.
Erin Cluley: I gotta get this right. I really want the jacket.
Ginger Stache: Joyce has a jacket she wants to give Erin, and it’s very sparkly.
Erin Cluley: She challenged me to take it.
Joyce Meyer: But I can’t make you earn it because of what we’re talking about.
Erin Cluley: No, I only receive it.
Ginger Stache: You have to receive it.
Erin Cluley: Yeah, I just receive it.
Laney Rene: Not get it.
Erin Cluley: No, receive it. Okay, so your list of confessions, «Knowing who I am in Christ,» confessions, so, I know these. And so, the one about, it talked about it in the clip, «I am the righteousness of God in Christ». So, I have heard that phrase my entire life. «I am the righteousness of Christ». That’s a really big word. And so, you know, I try and study it and it’s just never like sank in until like two hours ago in the bathroom. And God talks a lot in the bathroom. But I thought…
Ginger Stache: That’s the good acoustics. It echoes.
Erin Cluley: It does.
Ginger Stache: Yeah, yeah.
Erin Cluley: Yes. And so, you know, Joyce, you teach about how righteousness means I am right in Christ.
Joyce Meyer: Right with God.
Erin Cluley: Right. So, that means without him, I feel wrong. And so, I thought about different situations in my life where i, like wrong would be a good word to use to describe how I’m feeling. Like, «I don’t feel like I fit in with this group. I’m just, I’m not wrong or I’m wrong. I don’t belong here». «I don’t know how to do this, so, I’m wrong».
Joyce Meyer: Or always feeling like something’s wrong with you, even though you don’t know really what it is.
Erin Cluley: Yes. Like I couldn’t put a word to it. It’s just, yeah, I just, it’s not right. So, then I had this Revelation like, «That’s what that means, that when I am who I’m supposed to be in Christ, when I understand the Revelation, that Revelation of who I am in him, that I have rightness because of him, then what else even matters? Because he’s the only one that I need to align my thoughts with. And if I don’t feel right in a room because I don’t feel like I fit, or whatever the case may be, I am right with God».
Joyce Meyer: And that’s one of the very first things he gives you after you’re born again.
Erin Cluley: Yeah, you talk about that.
Joyce Meyer: Just, as soon as you’re born again, «He that knew no sin became sin, that we might be made the righteousness of God in Christ,» or be made right with God. And all of our life, we feel like, «Something’s wrong with me. God’s mad».
Erin Cluley: Yeah.
Joyce Meyer: I went through a lot of, «God has to be mad at me,» you know, cause my dad was always mad at me. And so, I always thought, «God was mad,» you know? And when I found out, God’s not mad at us.