Joyce Meyer - Determination - Part 3

People with wounded souls wanna control everything. Is anybody here tired of trying to run the whole world? I mean, is anybody exhausted from trying to control everybody and everything, okay? Well, today you could give it up. Because I've got a secret to tell you. You're not in control anyway. Never have been, never will be. But you know what? People that are wounded, they don't become controllers because they're mean. They don't even really understand what they're doing. You know, I was a controller but I did it for fear of getting hurt.

See, I grew up with a father who controlled everything, and everything that he did was for his benefit and everybody else got hurt. So I thought I learned that if you stay in control then you're the one that doesn't get hurt. And so people that are controllers are not necessarily wicked. They may just be afraid that if they don't stay in control, somebody's gonna take advantage of them. And you say, "Well, they will". Well, here's the thing. I'm not gonna stand here and ask you to trust people because people will hurt you but we can trust God. See, you give up trying to control everything and you put yourself in God's hands and you say, "Well, God, even if they mistreat me it's actually your problem because you're the one that's gotta fix it".

Somewhere we gotta get out of the middle of all this and turn ourselves over to God and say, "You are my vindicator and you're the one that's gonna have to fix what's wrong in my life and I am finished trying to control everything. You show me what you want me to do and I'm gonna do what you want me to do. And I'm not responsible whatever everybody else does anymore". Does anybody need this today? Just maybe one or two people. Our wounded people get very good at living a life of pretense, never expressing their true feelings or thoughts about anything, they just simply do what they think everybody wants them to do so they can keep them happy. And then after you do that for a while, then you begin to resent all these people that are controlling you when you're the one that's letting them do it.

Dr. Henry Cloud said, "You'll have what you tolerate". It's time for some of you to start standing up for yourself. You've never done it in your whole life and you're bitter because of it, but you have what you put up with. Sooner or later, you gotta say, "I deserve respect and you're either gonna give it to me, or we're not gonna be hanging out so much anymore". Now, the Bible has a lot to say about attitude and people that are wounded usually have bad attitudes. For one thing, they're usually pretty negative. They're usually almost afraid to think that anything good might happen because they've had such a long history of bad things happening that if you're anything like I was, you get to the point where you think to expect a problem you're protecting yourself. You don't wanna get disappointed anymore. Does anybody know what I mean?

It's like, so you just have a sour attitude. But even though you may not be able to change all the circumstances in your life your attitude belongs to you. It's yours and yours alone and nobody can make you have a bad one if you refuse to have one. And I'll tell you, when you start having a good attitude, then God can start doing things for you that will amaze you. The Bible has a great deal to say about attitude. An attitude is just the thought response that you decide to take toward a situation or a circumstance of what has happened to you. Like, for years I hated my father for what he did to me. And one day God whispered in my heart, "Hurting people, hurt people".

And then I realized that he hurt me because somebody had hurt him. And it made it so much easier for me to start working toward forgiveness. If you'll have a good attitude, God can show you things, he can tell you secrets. He can make you understand things that will set you free. The Bible says, "Let this same attitude that was in Christ Jesus be in you. Let him be your example in selfless humility". Well, two things that wounded people have a difficult time with is being unselfish. Because we're afraid if we don't take care of ourselves, nobody else will. And humility is out of the question because you see humility as weakness and you think if you humble yourself then everybody's gonna walk all over you. Am I right so far?

See, real life starts, listen to me, when you're not trying to prove anything anymore. And then, I want us to look at verse 6, Philippians 2:6, in the Amplified Bible. This is pretty cool. It says, "Who, although he existed in the form and unchanging essence of God [as one with him, possessing the fullness of all the divine attributes, the entire nature of deity]". Think about Jesus, God himself, coming down here willingly to get in a human body. The best analogy I could think of is that would be like me agreeing to go be an ant. And that's a poor example. He laid aside his... He didn't lay aside his Godliness because he never got rid of it, but he set that part of him aside and he took on a human form so he could relate to us and pay the price for our sins, let's finish reading this, "He did not regard his equality with God as something that he had to grasp [as if he did not already possess it, or was afraid of losing it]".

Look at that. "[as if he did not already possess it, or was afraid of losing it]". You see, Jesus could do what he did because he knew who he was. He wasn't trying to prove who he was. He knew where he came from. He knew where he was going. He knew he was on assignment from God and he, God, was able to come here and take on the form of a servant, see? And people who know who they are can do any job and not feel belittled by it. C'mon. If you know who you are in Christ, you can be the janitor and know that you are just as important as the CEO of the company. It doesn't matter. You can live in a mansion or you can live in an apartment because your joy is not in what you own, or who you know, or the label in your clothes.

Let me tell you something. It is amazingly freeing when you come to the point of saying, "God loves me. I'm his child. I'm not an accident. He created me. He has a purpose for me and maybe people have spent their whole life trying to destroy me but he is my healer and I am on my way back," amen? Your history doesn't have to be your destiny. I did not have a good start in life and many of you did not have a good start in life. But it's really how you finish that people remember. And no matter how you got started, you can have a phenomenal ending. Let go of what's behind and get on with what God has for you, amen.

Now, as I said, wounded people have trouble with humility because, to them, it's a sign of weakness but, actually, humility is defined as strength under control. Jesus could have done anything at any time, just like he told Peter when they came into the garden to take him away and Peter quickly got out his sword and cut off the ear of one of the guys and Jesus had to put the ear back on and take care of that and tell Peter, "Don't you know if I wanted to I could call legions of angels? I don't have to do this. I'm doing this because it's what my father wants me to do". So here's the thing. If, I don't know, whatever. I mean, if you like to clean, some people love to clean. I mean, I have a girl that cleans for me sometimes, she loves to clean. It's, like, "Bless you," 'cause I don't love it.

See, we all love something. God has got this all arranged to where every need would be taken care of if we could get rid of our stupid pride and just do the part that God has given us to do without feeling like it belittles us. Are you out there? See, some of you, the last thing in the world that you would ever want would be, to be in charge of something, but you think that you're not as good as the person that's in charge so you try to be in charge and it makes you miserable the whole time. C'mon. My husband one time was offered a promotion at work and he turned it down and I thought he was stark raving mad. Because I still had all my baggage and I thought, man, the more important you look, the more important you are.

You know, if you're the boss, then, wow, everybody else has gotta do what you tell 'em to. Wounded people like to tell everybody else what to do. And he turned it down, and I thought he was nuts. And he said, "I don't want that". He said, "Why do I want all that hassle and I'm not even gonna make that much more money? I'm gonna have to travel and I'm gonna have all kinds of responsibility. I'm happy right where I'm at". Well, I couldn't understand anybody being happy right where they were at because my whole worth and value came from doing more and climbing the ladder and being better and being bitter... Better and being better than better than. I couldn't just be good. I had to be better than you. C'mon.

See, God has met every need. Everybody has a part and everybody wants to do their part if we could get rid of attaching our worth and value to what we do and what the world says is important and what the world says is not important. Don't ever say, "I'm just a stay-at-home mom". "I just clean houses for other people". When you put that word "Just" in there, it automatically just brings everything down to this lower level, like, well, you know, "I'm just a stay-at-home mom" like that's like a know-nothing thing. I'd rather go out and work three jobs than to be a stay-at-home mom for five little kids. You have not done a hard day's work until you do that, amen? And you talk about a thankless job.

C'mon. You should say, "I'm a stay-at-home mom. I'm raising four giants for God," you know? Whatever you do, do it with pride. Wounded people not only have a difficult time keeping a positive attitude. They have a very difficult time, very difficult time, following the one new commandment Jesus left us which is to love other people as you love yourself because you don't love yourself. Don't even like yourself. I became a serious Christian and I started hearing all these messages about loving people and, man, I wanted to, I tried. I tried so hard to love people and I didn't even like people. My attitude was, "If I don't know you, I don't need to know you. I don't wanna know you," you know?

C'mon. I was trying so hard to love people and, man, I made a good plan every morning, laying in bed, but it lasted 'til my feet hit the floor. How many of you make plans for holiness before you get up? How long's it last? You might as well just lay there and tell God, "I'm gonna act like a jerk today if you don't help me, and so I'm afraid to get up without you". And God finally showed me, "You can't love anybody else 'cause you don't love yourself". C'mon, you can't give away what you don't have. God pours his love into us to heal our wounded souls. We receive that love. It allows us to love us and then it allows us to get about God's business which is letting his love flow through us to other people and especially to people that are not saved. C'mon, you don't just get to love your Christian brothers and sisters.

"Now, turn to somebody in church and say, 'I love you with the love of the Lord'". You know, I'm still trying to figure out what that is. God says, "If you'll only love people that love you back, what's that? Anybody can do that". But he says, "Love your enemies. Do good to those that have abused you and those that have hurt you and misused you. Now, you're doing something". But you can't do that if you don't know who you are. That's what the healing of the soul is. "Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the entire renewal of your mind, proving for yourselves what the good and perfect will of God is for you".

See, you've got it in your spirit. And God wants to get it into your life. He wants people to see him shining through you. Let your light shine. People need to see God through you. Unbelievers are not reading their Bible. But if you've got anything in your life that makes it look like you're a Christian, even a bumper sticker, they're watching you. Let your light shine. But as long as we're all hurt and wounded inside, we've gotta have our mind renewed. You've got all this good stuff in you but you gotta believe it. And see, it's not wrong to believe. "I have been made right with God through the blood of Jesus Christ. I am forgiven. I'm created in God's image. God's got a purpose for me. He's got a plan for me. The world needs me. I'm important". Don't stop thinking you're not important. You are important. You have a part to play. Alright, let me talk to you for a minute about upgrades. Man, we want upgrades. We wanna go out and get the upgrade because we want every piece of equipment we've got to work at optimum, the best.

Okay, well, Jesus is offering you an upgrade for your life. And, what I wanna know, is who today... See, you might go stand in line startin' at midnight to get an upgrade for that phone. But I advertised a book, and you thought, "I need that," and you won't stand in line at that resource table for five minutes to get an upgrade for your life. We have to start understanding what's important. How many people would set up a lawn chair at midnight and sit outside all night just to get a seat in a place like this? There are a few that will do it. There are a few that are just that radical, they'll do it. I mean, there were people in line out there this morning at 7:00, earlier than that, see? You're a hungry Christian. You're like, "If there's a upgrade available, I'm gonna get it". I'm offering you an upgrade. Do you have joy? Do you have peace? Do you have confidence, courage? Do you feel loved by God? Do you have good friends? Are you bearing good fruit or just wasting your life drifting from day-to-day?

God wants your time here to count. Make a difference. Make somebody happy everyday. Put a smile on three faces everyday. Just make somebody smile, just make somebody happy. I got an encouragement this morning from my son. He just sent me this little text message this morning. I'm sitting and studying, and getting ready to come over here, what I've done for 40 some-odd years. And, he said, "I heard you had a great crowd last night," almost had to turn people away. And, he said, "I just want you to know that I'm so proud of you and all that you've accomplished, and you're my hero". Well, oh, my gosh! I mean, he upgraded my day. Whoo! I mean, it just went... And, you know what? You have the ability to do that to somebody. If we can get past our own pain long enough, get past our own self long enough to say, "God use me for something fruitful today". It doesn't even have to cost you money.

Do you know how many desperate, sad, lonely, discouraged people the world is full of? And, just a right word from you, a word in due season to the weary can be life-changing. And, you have the ability to do that if you get yourself off your mind long enough to let God show you something. Okay, are you ready for this? I'm gonna tell you the truth. The happier you make somebody else, the happier you're gonna be. There's no such thing as a selfish happy person. They don't exist. But, people that have been wounded, and I understand it, I've been through this. You get so turned-in on yourself and your own wounds and what has been done to you, what hasn't been done for you, what people don't do for you, how oppressed you've been that you can't think about anything except your own pain.

And, I'm telling you today, give it to Jesus and just tell him, "I can't do anything about what has happened but if I'm gonna believe what the lady on the platform is saying, I can do a lot about what's going to happen". Come on. "And today, Jesus, I am announcing that I want the upgrade that you've got for my life". The only way that any of us are ever gonna know what's right, when you've been wounded you've got such warped ideas and attitudes and thoughts about things, but you don't know it. You don't know it. My father taught me to be suspicious of people. How many times did I hear him say, "You can't trust anybody"? "You can't trust anybody". So, I didn't trust anybody. And then, God says, "I want you to trust me and I'll take care of the everybody's". We don't know what normal is unless we learn what's in this book.