Joyce Meyer - Take Your Life Back - Part 2
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Ginger Stache: There is no doubt about it, our culture has a very twisted mindset when it comes to aging. Sometimes, we don't respect the wisdom that comes from aging. And we don't always appreciate all that God is putting in us through the years. So, today, we are going to talk about how to age without getting old. We started a conversation yesterday, from our talk it out podcast, with all of us and Joyce, where she's helping us to understand that the right mindset at every age is what really makes the difference. So, this is a conversation for the young and the people who are slightly not so young because that's what this is all about, is understanding that God has good for us in every season and what we do now makes a difference later. So, let's jump on in and find out how we can age without ever getting old.
Joyce Meyer: One of the things I've found out is if you want to do something bad enough, you will find a way to do it. And a lot of times we use that as an excuse. And I know that from working out. I mean for years, I just said there's no way I can work out. I mean, Dave kept trying to get me to work out regularly, you know, with weights. And I was just like, "I don't have any time for that". And so then, I would decide to try, and me, I'm gonna get in shape in two days. And so, I'm doing way too much and I hurt myself. And then I say, "See, I can't do this. Every time I try, I hurt myself". And then, finally, I looked at myself, like you said, one day and everything that used to be up here was down here somewhere. And God just had to speak to me. And he said, "You're not gonna be around for the last third of your journey if you don't do this". And so, people have to get some kind of exercise, they have to rest, they have to sleep. They need to drink water and not some suGary drink all the time. I'm not saying you can't eat sugar, but you can't live on candy bars and potato chips. And you know, there are changes that people need to make. But I thought there was no way that I could work out, and now, for 16 years, I've been working out three days a week. So, let me just say again, if you really want to do something bad enough, you can find a way to do it.
Ginger Stache: So, that means you started working out when you were in your sixties.
Joyce Meyer: Sixty-two.
Ginger Stache: That's so encouraging.
Jai Williams: It's never too late.
Ginger Stache: Exactly, we can start it at any time, and it will make a difference. Can we talk about stress a little bit?
Joyce Meyer: Sure, yeah.
Ginger Stache: Cuz there's just so much that people are dealing with. And Jai, I think about all that you've shared that you've been through, and so many of our friends who have connected with what you're saying, who are going through really stressful times in their families.
Joyce Meyer: Who hasn't been through stuff?
Ginger Stache: Exactly, exactly. So, what are some of the things that you've learned through different stressful times that you've been through that help you handle stress better?
Joyce Meyer: Well, getting angry about things that you can't do anything about is really a huge waste of time. And what is it they said, like, one hour of anger is equivalent to eight hours of work. Like, it may be easy to get upset, but once you get upset, it's much harder to calm down. And so, I have discovered, for me, that if I can do something about it when I first start feeling that I'm getting angry or upset, if I can put a stop to it early, it's much easier for me to do it before I let it take roots and get real deep. So, not trying to change people, who don't wanna change and aren't going to change.
Ginger Stache: That's really true. That puts a lot of stress on us.
Joyce Meyer: And accepting people the way they are. And I know some people are thinking, "Oh, you know, my husband this... my husband that... there's no way I can accept him the way that he is". I'm not talking about accepting sinful behavior, that's not what I'm talking about. But like, Dave has certain things that, you know, he's just not like, I told him, one time, I said, "We never talk about anything deep. It's always the weather, and this, and that, and something else". He said, "Look, this is a deep as I get, take it or leave it".
Jai Williams: "This is what you get".
Joyce Meyer: You know, like, I'm the type, I'd like to just sit here all day and just discuss all my feelings and my emotions, you know? And he's not, you know, his answer to everything is cast your care. Well, I didn't want to cast my care. I wanted him to feel sorry for me. And he'd even tell me, "You just want me to feel sorry for you and I'm not going to". And then, I would just go, "Ahhh"! And so, we're so peaceful now, Dave and I, we've been married 54 years. But I had to learn that this is it. I mean, you know, and he accepts me the way I am, which is not always great. And so, we really should accept people the way they are. There's nothing worse than feeling like that somebody never approves of you, and you constantly have to be trying to change yourself to make them happy. And God can do more in a second than we can do in 20 years. So, you save yourself so much stress if you pray about things instead of trying to make it happen yourself.
Ginger Stache: Erin and I, were just talking about that anger thing, and really how it does change the stress level so quickly. You just kind of feel it coming up, sometimes.
Erin Cluley: It's like, all-encompassing of my body, and I'm not used to that. You can feel that stress.
Jai Williams: Yesterday, something had happened, and I passed the test, barely. I thought of you guys, and Jesus.
Joyce Meyer: You didn't wanna have to tell it today.
Jai Williams: I didn't wanna have to confess a sin, but I thought about it. But something happened where, you know, somebody sent me something and it triggered me, and it took me back to when I wasn't here, you know?
Joyce Meyer: To your old self.
Jai Williams: To my old self where I was like... You know, and I'm like, "Okay, okay, okay, okay". Like, I would love to hear from you, like when you see... Help me okay? I don't know how many more of those situations, but no, I believe I can make it. But I barely made it, like, seriously, no joke, I'm just being completely honest, like... I got the text, and said, "Oh..." And I had a whole nice paragraph, and I deleted it, and I said...
Erin Cluley: Good for you.
Ginger Stache: Good job.
Jai Williams: I know, right?!?
Joyce Meyer: Oh, we are so proud of you!
Erin Cluley: I, yesterday, got a text and didn't like it and I pushed, "Send," on that text.
Jai Williams: You did? Oh, so, okay.
Erin Cluley: So, I confess.
Jai Williams: I just need, I would love to hear from you on, how, when you get those things that are like, if it's a lie, or if it's...
Joyce Meyer: You guys all wanna hear from me. What makes you think I'd do it all right?
Jai Williams: Because you wrote a book about it, I wanna age gracefully!
Joyce Meyer: It's harder than writing a book.
Jai Williams: Help me!
Joyce Meyer: Alright, what do you want me to help you with? I'm gonna help you.
Jai Williams: Help me not barely make it, cuz I almost didn't.
Joyce Meyer: Okay. Well, here's one thing. First of all, you need to celebrate the fact that even though you barely made it, you did make it.
Jai Williams: Yes! Praise the Lord!
Ginger Stache: Yeah.
Joyce Meyer: See, the devil wants us to always look at the part we didn't do. Well, like, "I shouldn't have got angry". "Okay, but I got over it a lot faster than what I would have". "I shouldn't have said that, but at least now I know I shouldn't have said that". There was a lot of years where I just went, "Blah, blah..." I didn't even know that I, you know...
Jai Williams: I'm still there.
Joyce Meyer: That shouldn't do it. You're still there. You probably learn more from your mistakes than you do anything else. And we're not ever gonna be perfect. You know, I mean, I teach people not to worry, but I'm not gonna sit here and say that I never have a day where I worry because I still fall into that trap too. It's a lot less often. And I can get over it a lot quicker. And I do really believe that people, they really hurt themselves by not celebrating their progress and only looking at the fact that they didn't do it perfect. And yes, you may have to keep taking the test until you pass it a lot sooner. But the good thing about God is, he'll never allow you to go through anything that's not gonna end up working for your good, if you let it.
Ginger Stache: Yeah, that's great.
Erin Cluley: So, hypothetically speaking, I'm not talking about myself or anything, I'm asking for my friend, jai... When you are so overwhelmed with anger and it does feel consuming to you, and you get a text, or whatever it is that's happening, what do you do right then, before you do the other thing? Practically speaking.
Joyce Meyer: Get out of the room.
Erin Cluley: Run? Yeah.
Joyce Meyer: I mean, you gotta get away from it. I mean, if you really don't want to just act bad and make a fool out of yourself, you have to get out of the house, go for a walk.
Ginger Stache: Put the phone down where you can't get to it.
Jai Williams: That's good.
Joyce Meyer: You know, if everything that goes on Facebook is gonna make you mad then just don't be on it. We read too much stuff, and believe everything we read, and we get upset about it.
Ginger Stache: Do you guys ever have a hard time with age milestones? Because, I remember, for me, it's the fives. It wasn't turning, you know, 30, or 40, or 50. It was the fives, turning 55 because then I'm already on the downhill slope toward the next big change.
Joyce Meyer: Now, that's one I've never heard.
Ginger Stache: So, I don't know why. It's just the way I've kind of seen it. But I do know people at all different ages, you're turning 40, and you just said you're looking forward to it, so that's great. And I'm just wondering...
Erin Cluley: I didn't even know how old I was, so.
Joyce Meyer: That's the way to make it work. Nothing bothered me until the day I had to go sign up for social security.
Erin Cluley: Ohh...
Joyce Meyer: And I could not believe I was, "I", miss can do everything, all the time, "I am in the social security office signing up for medicare"? I was just like... That took me awhile.
Ginger Stache: But you talk a lot, in this book, which is so helpful, about the fact that we're all aging but we don't have to get old.
Joyce Meyer: Yeah, and it's all in your mind. It's like, you're going, you're gonna add a year to your age every year. I don't care what you do. I mean, there's none of us that can stop that. We're all gonna die. I mean, two things you can't avoid, taxes...
Ginger Stache: We're all gonna die.
Joyce Meyer: "Good news, you're gonna die". Aren't you glad you had me on today?
Jai Williams: I feel so uplifted, like...
Joyce Meyer: Well, you are. But you can, see, I am 77 and a half, but I don't think I am.
Ginger Stache: Right.
Joyce Meyer: I mean, I really don't think I am. When I realize I am, I have to go, "No"! You know? And that can happen by taking better care of yourself. Even by the way you dress, and when you're 70, you don't have to try to dress like you're 25, but you don't have to dress like your 90 either, you know? And you can do things like fix your hair. You know, put a little color on your, even on days that I'm gonna be home all day, I will still, I don't put a lot of makeup on, but I'll still get a few eyebrows on, cuz you look kinda freaky without those.
Ginger Stache: A few eyebrows!
Joyce Meyer: I've had mine, you know, permanently done but I got a few spots that get kinda, so, I fill in those spots. And I look a little better with a little color on my cheeks, so I'll put just a little bit of color on my cheeks, and put on a little lipstick, and I still fix my hair every day. I'm not gonna get out of bed and go around, because it makes you feel bad about yourself. That's the thing that people don't realize. It's like, you feel better about yourself, if you take better care of yourself.
Ginger Stache: That's true. I've seen this woman in her jammies. And she looks better in her pajamas than...
Jai Williams: I've seen that.
Ginger Stache: Yeah, it's true.
Jai Williams: Snazziest pj's ever, leopard and all that good stuff. But that's one thing that I love about even this forum, that we're allowed to do. Just how different we all are and we're all in, you know, you say it all the time, we're in different stages of life, but that's what gravitated me towards Ginger, even. Like, I didn't know how old she was. I just knew she always wore cool shoes, like, you know? And then, being around you and seeing you, and y'all can't see it, but mama Joyce has a little, cute flower on her toe. So, I'm saying like, it's little things like...
Joyce Meyer: Look at those. I got stones on my shoes.
Jai Williams: She is the fanciest.
Joyce Meyer: If you get down there and look at that toe, I got rhinestones on my toes.
Jai Williams: Oh, she does! She has a little diamond in-between the flower on her toe. Those are little things that...
Joyce Meyer: They're not diamonds. Don't say that. I'll get letters.
Jai Williams: Little studs, okay, that the little lady put on her toe. But at the end of that... But what I'm saying is, I surround myself with people of all different ages. Like even with my daughter being 17, I don't like, look down at her for being 17. I'm like, tell me what you, like, I learn from everybody. And I think that's something that didn't happen to like, my mom's age group. They only kind of stayed with their own age groups. And so, the fact that we're showing people like, diversify your friend groups, not just with ethnicity, but also age, you know? It helps to see you at 77.
Joyce Meyer: Dave and I don't let each other say, "I'm too old to do that". If I say, "I'm too old for that," Dave will say, "No, don't say that". You know, and we do have to remem, we do have to not think, if you don't wanna do something then you don't wanna do it, but you don't have to say, "I'm too old to do it," because that's just really...
Ginger Stache: You don't have to creak every time you sit down and make the noise like, "Ugh".
Joyce Meyer: "Ugh, my back. I'm fallin' apart".
Jai Williams: My knees kinda start doing that.
Ginger Stache: When it comes out of your mouth.
Jai Williams: Oh, gotcha.
Ginger Stache: You know, that's the one, that's like, you don't have to do that.
Joyce Meyer: Now, you know, my body's changing. I mean, there's things that, you know, that I know that there now, that I used to not know was there. And I've had to lower the weights that I use in the gym because of different things. And I've had two hips replaced. And you know, getting some kinda shots now, in my knees and my back. But I'm gonna do everything that I can to keep going as long as I possibly can, and I don't intend to start thinking, "I'm old". You know, your age really doesn't matter, it's your attitude that really matters.
Ginger Stache: Now, this is important to God as well: our attitude, and finishing strong is really important on a spiritual basis, as well. This isn't all just about the outside. This is about the inside and there are so many scriptures that you have in the book, that are so good, talking about staying spiritually young and active too. Can I ask you about some scriptures and...
Joyce Meyer: Sure.
Ginger Stache: And we can talk about those a little bit? So, this one I love because sometimes we have a little bit of fear of the future, right, a fear of aging. Psalm 48:14 says, "For this God is our God, forever and ever, he will be our God even to the end". And so, I just think about that as you're getting further and further along in life, and along in your ministry, sometimes you feel like, "Am I finished, you know, is this the end of the good that God has for me"? And you certainly haven't exhibited that in your life.
Joyce Meyer: No, I don't feel that way. And even this week, I've been feeling led by the Holy Spirit to pray that I can always have a creative idea, I can always start something new, I'm not finished because I'm a certain age. I'm just not gonna think like that. I mean, there are things that I can't physically do, that wouldn't be wise for me to do. You know, I don't have any desire to go jump out of an airplane, or you know, bungee jump.
Ginger Stache: I do.
Joyce Meyer: I know, I know you do. But you'll get over that eventually.
Erin Cluley: Do it soon.
Joyce Meyer: Do it soon.
Ginger Stache: Yeah, that's a really good point.
Joyce Meyer: But if you listen to people, sometimes they just talk themselves into being old. "I can't do that, I'm too old". Well, how do you know? Have you tried?
Ginger Stache: Other scriptures from anybody that have been important to you with this topic.
Joyce Meyer: Well, I love the one where Paul says, "None of these things move me, neither do I count my life dear, if only I might finish my course with joy". He said, "The only thing that really mattered to him was that he would finish his course with joy". And I think it's John 17:4, Jesus said, "Father glorify me now for I have completed the work that you have given me to do". And one day, many years ago, I read that I just started to weep and I thought, you know, "God, that's something that's been really important to me". I wanna finish what God has given me to do, and that's still very important to me. I want to, you know, I mean, I'm at the point in my life where, been there, done that, you know, have that don't need another one. And I understand what Paul meant when he said, "As for me, you know, it'd be better for me if I just went to heaven". I mean, the way our world is today, who in their right mind, if you knew you're going to heaven wouldn't want to be in a better place? But he said, "For your sake, it's better that I stay". And so, from my part, I'd be happy to go, but I know God's not finished with me yet, and I don't wanna leave my kids, and I'm just, I'm gonna be humorous. I'm not gonna be a complaining old lady that just grumps around all the time and expects everybody to feel sorry for me. My kids tell me, "Mom, you are so funny". And I hope that I'm always funny. I mean, I send some of the craziest texts. I mean, I don't know when I'm gonna learn to read what I'm supposed to read them before...
Ginger Stache: I do the same thing.
Joyce Meyer: I send them. And they'll just laugh, and laugh, and laugh.
Jai Williams: Well, what sticks out to me as I was thinking about just aging and why initially, I'm gonna be honest. When I was thirty-five, I was not excited about, so I guess that five thing, I wasn't excited about 40, like at first. Because I was just like, "Ah, what have I done with my life"? You know, you just think about that, "Jesus died at thirty-three". Thirty-three was hard for me, for real. Like, cuz, I'm like, "Jesus completed everything at 33"! You know, like, I was like, "I'm living the Jesus year". But the scripture that sticks to me is, "For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, love", I think of power, and then love, and of a sound mind. Cuz I understood at the root of that was worry. Like, I was worried that I wasn't gonna live up to other people. I wasn't gonna live up to the idea that I had in my mind of what I would accomplish at this time, like dismissing that and moving forward pressing towards the Mark. So, that's what sticks out to me.
Joyce Meyer: Something I think just really wears people out is being so concerned about what everybody thinks. Ladies: yeah.
Erin Cluley: I underlined that a lot in the book.
Joyce Meyer: It's like, well, you know, "What are they gonna think, what are they gonna think"? And we're not all alike. We can't all do the same things. You know, I really miss not being able to go on mission trips. I did 67, out of the country, mission trips. And I loved it. I love the big crusades. I love India. I love Africa. I love to go to those places. I've done some awesome crusades out of the country, but it's just too hard on me now. The jet lag is just too hard on me. So, what I have to do, is I have to give myself now, to the things that I have to do, which is: only I can do my teaching, only I can write my books, only I can do my tv, you know? But there's other things that I don't have to do. You know, I may miss them. And that's the thing you got to realize is even when you have to start giving things up, you may not like it. But you have to do what you know is wise and what's gonna keep you around for the long run.
Ginger Stache: That's really true. And understanding now that there are things at whatever age we are, that we have to start making the choices and doing things that matter now, for the future. And when I say the future, I'm talking about the next hour sometimes. As well as, you know, 30, 20 years, whatever it may be down the road. We've got a Bible study that will be really helpful that goes right along with Joyce's new book, and I think you're gonna love it. We have it for you available for free online. It's called, "How To Stay Young At Every Age," who doesn't want that, you know? So, go to joycemeyer.org/talkitout, and you can do that. It's actually, a 10-day online study that we're all gonna be doing. So, please do it with us. Go there, right now, sign up for this online study and do it with us. And then, we always encourage you, when you're there. You can sign up for our friend's list because we love to give you some behind-the-scenes things, tell you when new episodes are coming out, tell you about things like Joyce's new book coming out. And then, also, you can catch up on old episodes. So, we just appreciate you being here with us. Take your life back: it's all those decisions that we make one little bit at a time. It's not like something big that you do that changes everything, it's the little decisions along the way. So, Joyce, thank you so much.
Joyce Meyer: Oh, I had fun today. I'm glad I got to come.
Ginger Stache: It's been so fun.
Erin Cluley: You really are funny.
Joyce Meyer: Oh, thank you.
Jai Williams: "Thank you".
Joyce Meyer: Thank you.
Jai Williams: We're all gonna die!
Joyce Meyer: If you just also tell me I'm cute then I'll be...
Jai Williams: You are! Oh, you're so cute!
Joyce Meyer: "You're funny and cute".
Ginger Stache: And you're all cute too, so, thanks for being with us. We'll see you next time.
Joyce Meyer: Okay.