Joyce Meyer - Taking Care Of Yourself
Ginger Stache: Hi friends, welcome to Joyce Meyer's Talk It Out podcast, where Joyce teaches the Word of God in her practical no-nonsense way, and all of our friends talk about the real stuff of living it and hold nothing back. Today, we have something really special. You are here, just in time, because our girls' night in, was just a couple weeks ago, so all of the girls from girls' night in had the chance to sit down and do a, such a fun Talk It Out podcast. So, we have that for you today. Good stuff: we were talking about how to take care of ourselves. Self-care is not selfish, and we're gonna to tell you why. Especially, when it's biblically based changes, everything. So, don't go away, it's so much fun too. So, here it comes, hope you enjoy it.
Ginger Stache: We hope that all of you have become familiar with Joyce's Talk It Out podcast. Every other Tuesday, we release a new episode where Joyce teaches the Word of God in her wonderful, practical way. And then, Jai, and Erin Cluley and I, we study the word, and we talk about it. Basically, we just try to make a life that makes a little bit of sense. So, whenever we need some help, Joyce is always here. So, we get Joyce today. But not only do we get Joyce, we also get Holly here with us.
Holly Wagner: Well, thanks for letting me crash this party.
Ginger Stache: Absolutely. What could be better? No crashing involved. You are absolutely invited. I want to ask you a question to get started, Joyce, 'cuz that's what I do.
Joyce Meyer: Of course you will.
Ginger Stache: I just ask Joyce questions.
Jai Williams: She's so good at it.
Erin Cluley: She's smart.
Ginger Stache: I think people, when we think about self-care it sounds selfish. And, of course, in your new book about aging without getting old, it's one of the main things is that, doing today, what will matter for our future. So, how do we understand that it's important and not selfish.
Joyce Meyer: Well, first of all, if you don't take care of yourself, you will get to the point where you cannot take care of anybody else. And so, many people, especially, Christians, we're taught to serve, and to help, and to take care of other people. And then, maybe, if you throw into that somebody who's insecure. And so, they become a people-pleaser and they don't want to make anybody mad. And they don't wanna tell anybody, "No," and so, pretty soon you've got somebody that, you know, it just is literally killing themselves in little, tiny degrees thinking that they're doing God's will.
Ginger Stache: Yeah, that's true.
Joyce Meyer: But it's not necessarily God's will for us to say, "Yes," to everybody who wants to hear, "Yes". And, course, you know, I tell my story. I made myself sick several times. But the last time, I made myself sick enough that it scared the living tar out of me, and it took me almost two and a half years to come back from it. And so, I do take care of myself, now. And when I get tired, I rest and I say, "No," a lot. And you know, of course, I'm older. But I really hope with this book that people don't think, "Well, I don't need that. I'm only 50". I heard somebody say, she was 52 and she says, oh, I don't need that yet". But that's exactly when you do need it.
Holly Wagner: A hundred percent, that's when you need it.
Ginger Stache: And thirty, too.
Erin Cluley: I need that book.
Joyce Meyer: And people need it in their twenties or in their thirties. Like, I asked you, one day,you know, and you're 20 years younger than me. I asked you, "Are you starting to feel any differences in your body"? And you shared with me some of the things that you experience when you go out of the country, now, that you didn't before.
Ginger Stache: So many things.
Joyce Meyer: So many different things. But I do,i think that as a Christian, we can be made to feel, without anybody intending to, that you know, all we should do is for other people. You know, like I'm getting ready to do some teaching, in the studio here, in a couple of weeks, on, "What makes a great man, great"? Well, it's being a servant. But being a servant doesn't necessarily mean that you have to say, "Yes," to every single thing that everybody asks you to do. What you need to do, is know what God wants you to do, and have the courage to say, "No," to people if, how many times does our mouth say, "Yes," when our heart's screaming, "No"?
Joyce Meyer: You know, we don't want to hurt somebody's feelings, we don't wanna make anybody mad. We don't want anybody mad at us. We want everybody to love us. And people-pleasing is probably one of the biggest problems. But you're not being selfish, if you take care of yourself, you're being foolish, if you don't.
Holly Wagner: The thing, I think, that's inspiring about you, and that you've always shared is your self-care isn't just sitting in the bathtub lighting a candle. Listen, that's awesome, and we should all do that, but you actually, exercise. So, you take care of yourself, so that you have the stamina to do some of the things. So, to me, it's like, as much as I love just chocolates and a bath, also, working out is self-care, for me. Right? So that I can run the race.
Ginger Stache: Well, Holly, let's talk about you, because you've had some physical trials in your life. I'm sure you had to learn to care for yourself differently going through cancer.
Holly Wagner: Yeah, for sure. I had to,well, you know, I talk about I had to learn to eat differently. Like, eating right is caring for yourself. I mean, to say, "No," to biscuits, it's like really hard for me. We all have our thing, right? It's biscuits, whatever, whatever.
Joyce Meyer: Mine's not a biscuit.
Holly Wagner: Okay, what is yours? What is it hard for you to say, "No". Like, if it was good for you, you wish you could eat it?
Joyce Meyer: It would be pasta for me. I could eat pasta every single day of my life.
Ladies: Yeah, that's a good choice, me too.
Jai Williams: One of the things that me and my girlfriends did last night, we did...
Holly Wagner: Thanks for inviting me, by the way.
Jai Williams: I'm so sorry.
Holly Wagner: Whatever.
Jai Williams: Next time. I promise, girl. But last night, a group of us got together on a zoom. And we had,we had fun party games and we were all around the country. And so, it was really, really fun.
Ginger Stache: That's great idea.
Jai Williams: It was so much fun. And we actually, surprised one of our friends, who was having a hard time. Her husband, actually, helped put it together and we all came together. And it was about 20 of us on a zoom call, and we just, were in our jammies...
Holly Wagner: That's a good idea.
Jai Williams: Yeah, and we just ate and played games. So, like, that's what I said last night, because these times, you have to be creative in order to spend that girl time.
Joyce Meyer: Well, and you know, the thing is, is everybody has to do what works for them.
Joyce Meyer: Like, what you just described, might not be restful to me. To me, I love quiet.
Ginger Stache: "How do you make this zoom thing work"?
Joyce Meyer: Yeah, "How do you make the zoom thing work"? First of all, I'd have to have somebody come and sit with me to do it. But trying to talk to 20 different people around the country, I'd probably be going... And so, but for me, I love, like to have, just quiet.
Jai Williams: Oh, yeah.
Joyce Meyer: Sometimes, I'll tell my husband, "Just go somewhere". I just want it to be quiet. So, each person, like people listening to us, I don't want you to feel like you have to do what I do, or what you do, or what you do, or what you do, or what you do. You know, you need to know what helps you relax, and whatever that is for you. It could be a walk, it could be a nap, it could be something quiet, but it's you finding what helps you relax and even, connect with God. I think that just that connection with God, really helps you relax.
Erin Cluley: Do you think it's true that, that changes per season, like, for whatever season you're in? So, like, I have little kids. So, there are certain things I just am not gonna be able to do, right now. But,that you're able to change those as you grow to different seasons.
Joyce Meyer: And one of those, one of the groups of people that have been on my heart for this is like, all the young moms.
Joyce Meyer: You know, we can do things. I mean, I can do whatever I want to, now. You know? You get old enough, you can do whatever you please.
Ginger Stache: Here's a question for the young moms. It's, "When was the last time you went to the bathroom alone"? Nobody gets to.
Erin Cluley: How old is my oldest? Six years ago.
Joyce Meyer: Yeah, right. Six years ago.
Holly Wagner: That's somebody's definition of self-care, going potty by myself.
Joyce Meyer: But even, for a young mom, and maybe, there's a few people who couldn't even do this, but, you will spend money on some things, but would you spend money to get somebody to watch your kids, once a month, so you could just go.
Erin Cluley: Oh, absolutely not.
Joyce Meyer: Yeah, see. Well, you should.
Erin Cluley: 'cuz I would feel nothing but guilt.
Joyce Meyer: Yeah, but see, you shouldn't do that.
Ginger Stache: We gotta fix that.
Erin Cluley: Well, let's fix it.
Holly Wagner: We'll have an intervention, right here.
Erin Cluley: Okay, I'm ready. I'm listening.
Ginger Stache: Sit on the table, here, in the middle.
Erin Cluley: Move those flowers out of the way.
Joyce Meyer: You know a statement that I am tired of hearing from people...
Ginger Stache: Uh-oh.
Joyce Meyer: "Oh, I can do without that".
Ladies: Oh, yeah.
Joyce Meyer: "I can do without that". Well, you know what? Anybody can do without a lot of things, but that doesn't mean you should. The question is, should you? And you need to get to the root of why you feel guilty when you do something for yourself.
Erin Cluley: It's,well, let me tell you. 'Cuz the Lord showed me today, let me tell you why.
Joyce Meyer: Let's talk.
Erin Cluley: I feel validated when I am busy all the time. Here we go.
Ginger Stache: There's a lot of us, like that.
Erin Cluley: All my friends, let's all talk with us together.
Holly Wagner: They're leaving you out there on the ledge.
Erin Cluley: Yeah, you all are just watching. It makes me feel good about myself because I'm doing it. "I'm probably the only one capable of doing all these".
Joyce Meyer: Well, why do you think I almost worked myself to death?
Erin Cluley: Yeah, right.
Joyce Meyer: I felt better, when I was accomplishing something, than I did, I felt guilty if I was doing nothing. And let me tell you something, I've learned some lessons the hard way. And I would really like to hope that my experience can help somebody not have to go through what I went through to learn. There's no reason, you listen to mama.
Erin Cluley: Yes, ma'am.
Joyce Meyer: There is no reason for you to feel guilty when you do things for yourself, you're actually being very unwise if you don't.
Erin Cluley: Okay. It's hard because the world does not tell you that. And it,you put, we put so much, I put so much on myself in that. That's not where my worth comes from, that's what I do. God loves me, for me. So, I don't need to prove anything.
Joyce Meyer: I know, but everybody that has this problem, that's part of that problem. They feel more worthy. And I know, like, when I was growing up, not only was I sexually abused by my dad, but he was really mean. And he didn't enjoy life, so he didn't want anybody else to. And I remember getting in trouble for laughing or having fun, but as long as I was working, he was okay. So, I grew up with that, as long as I'm working, everybody's gonna be happy with me. And so, then I put that into my relationship with God, as long as I'm working, you know?
Ginger Stache: So, you know, there are many people who are in that situation where either, they're getting their worth and value out of everything that they feel that they have to accomplish, or they just don't know another way to do life.
Joyce Meyer: Sometimes, you are in a situation, for a period of time, where you have to stretch yourself. But one of the things that I believe, with all my heart is, if God wants you doing something, he will give you the grace to do it. And if there's no grace on you, and you find yourself complaining about it all the time, and being miserable, then you need to find another solution. You need to ask for help. You need to go to other family members and say, "I can't do this by myself anymore". You know, we're not very good at saying, "I can't".
Holly Wagner: Or, "Help me". I don't think we're always that great at asking for help.
Joyce Meyer: No we're not.
Holly Wagner: And so, I think that's one of the best ways to help in situations, it's just say, "I just need some help," and I think we're not that great at that.
Jai Williams: I remember, one of the biggest things that made me realize how much I didn't take care of myself, almost 18 years, was the fact when I went to the grocery store, for the first time after my daughter, you know, went to Florida with her dad for a little bit, and I didn't even know what to get from the grocery store. 'Cuz I was so used to getting things that everybody else wanted. It was a simple thing like that, that I started crying. I'm in a grocery store like, "I don't know what to get myself". Like, I'm so used to, and I was programmed, I didn't even need a list. I just would get the same things that, but I'm like, "I got everything that they liked," then I had to start asking myself, "What do I like"? So, even if you're a caregiver, it's different than my story, but even if you're a caregiver, a simple thing of self-care could just be, add something on that grocery list that you like. Like, but consider yourself, even in the smallest of things.
Holly Wagner: Get the biscuits.
Jai Williams: Get the biscuits. Not every day, now. Don't get 'em every day, but get 'em sometimes.
Joyce Meyer: That's good. Don't get them every day.
Jai Williams: Sometimes. Just one biscuit a month.
Joyce Meyer: One biscuit a month.
Ginger Stache: That's really good though because it is sometimes the little things that mean a great deal. If you can start with something small, and begin finding those things that give you a little satisfaction, give you a little respite, God's little winks to you. You know, those things are so important. And then, you'll begin finding maybe a little larger gap here and there. And before you know it, you're learning, I guess, the way that God really wants us to care for our self and not feeling as guilty about it. It does change, doesn't it? The more you start to do those things: you feel less guilt along the way.
Joyce Meyer: Well, yes, you do, and you know, I'm thinking about you asking about, back to you again.
Erin Cluley: Okay. I thought we had moved on. Tell me more. "But Erin"...
Joyce Meyer: You talked about the seasons of life and it's true. When you're young and you have little kids, you know, I mean, I watch my daughter-in-law and she's homeschooling...
Erin Cluley: She's amazing.
Joyce Meyer: Four little boys, and I don't know how she does it. And then, I remember that I raised four kids and started a ministry when I had a baby and three teenagers, and I don't know how I did that either. But that's part of the reason why I'm writing the books and I'm writing, now. Something I think that it's important to say to everybody: we make excuses about just about everything, but, and please hear me when I say this, if you want to do something bad enough, you will find a way to do it.
Ginger Stache: Yeah, that's really good.
Joyce Meyer: I mean you will.
Ginger Stache: Yeah, we started and pretty much already answered that question about, "When I'm busy, does make me feel more important, like, I matter". Here's a question for everyone. You don't have to write this on the board, but when you're busy, does it make you feel like, God loves you more? And I think that's something that a lot of people deal with. They think, "If I don't do all these things for God, I'm gonna let him down. He won't be happy with me. I need to keep striving in order to earn whatever I need". And you know, we can say that's not the way God works, but sometimes, it's harder to get that in deeper.
Holly Wagner: Well, that was like, I feel like that was the lesson for me, like in the last two years. Was something, I just alluded to, it's just like, being still. Right, 'cuz, it says, "Be still and know that I am God," maybe if I'm going to really know who he is, I have to be still. And that's not my strength, right, that's not my go-to. To some people that's easier for them, but it isn't for me, I'm the human-doing, not the being, right? So, the doing things: I like to pray, I like to wor, I mean, even the spiritual disciplines, I like the doing ones. Right? So, for me, right, it was the care, 'cuz I was gonna be in a not good place if I didn't, right? So, just being still. Just still and letting him talk to me, breathe deeply, you know? That stillness was a huge habit change for me.
Erin Cluley: Had that it happen this morning, as I was praying and getting ready for today, and I was doing the things, I was seeing the worship music, and reading the Bible, and then, all of a sudden, I just sat still, and I got so emotional. Because when I was still before God, it's like his love just washed over me. And had I not just sat there for a second, I would have missed that moment. Because I was doing the things for God.
Jai Williams: I was a self-proclaimed Martha.
Erin Cluley: Oh, yes.
Jai Williams: I was like, I just gotta keep going, keep going. Like, I'm a pastor's kid, I've been in ministry all my life, and grew up doing church and doing ministry. And this past Easter was my very first Easter not doing, and I felt, I felt almost guilty like, "I'm not leading worship or putting on a big production," like, you know?
Holly Wagner: Are you still a Christian? I'm just wondering.
Jai Williams: Exactly, I had to ask myself that. I said, "Am I saved"? Like, "I'm not leading worship on no Easter"! Like, it felt wrong. And so,but God literally said, "Just sit down, girl". He told me just to sit down and he just said, "You may never get one of these again," you know, where I'm not doing. And so that,this year has been one of those years where he's just caused me to be still and be a Mary, you know, instead of a Martha.
Holly Wagner: And you know, it's not an easy-shift sometime.
Jai Williams: It's not. It's uncomfortable. I was like, "What do I do"? Like, how do I just be a Christian without doing work?
Ginger Stache: And so, let's have a plan, right? Let's have a strategy. So, write down one thing that you all think about that you can stop doing to give yourself more time for yourself, and for your time with God. Is there one thing that you can think of, I'll give you mine as an example.
Erin Cluley: Yeah, I'd like to copy that.
Ginger Stache: Here's an example, less Netflix marathons. Uh-huh, yeah, so you know, that means watching a lot of stuff on TV that, you know? It's just one of those things that I can easily cut out, and spend more, when I say productive, I don't mean active, I mean time that matters, time that is for me with the Lord, not binge-watching Netflix. So, that's an example for me. Anybody have anything you're writing down on your boards? I see some of our audience writing. I see some of our panel is not. That's alright.
Holly Wagner: Did you write naps on there? You're going to give up naps?
Erin Cluley: Oh, that's a good one.
Holly Wagner: That's a good one. What are you giving that one up for?
Ginger Stache: Maybe she has lots of naps.
Holly Wagner: You have too many naps?
Ginger Stache: Too many naps, alright. Anybody else? What do we have? Scrolling social media, uh-huh, that is a good answer. That is a good one. Answering my phone so much. That's great. We don't have to answer the phone every time it rings.
Joyce Meyer: I take the phone into the bathroom with me. It's just ridiculous.
Holly Wagner: That's a good one.
Ginger Stache: Overthinking. Oh, Jai. That's a really good one.
Holly Wagner: That's a very good one.
Ginger Stache: You wanna talk about that?
Jai Williams: Yeah, I just spent a lot of time thinking about what I could be doing, when I could either be resting, or doing the thing I'm thinking about. "Maybe I should do this or do that, and maybe it'll turn out like this". And I always tend to like almost foreshadow, what I think is gonna happen. It's a lot of wasted time. You know, sometimes I can even over-think the outcome. That's,then it becomes worry at times and so I need to,
Joyce Meyer: Well, people who have never stepped out into this area, which there's a lot of people watching that need this desperately, but we're not gonna have enough time to talk here, tonight, to give them all the answers they need.
Holly Wagner: They can get your book.
Joyce Meyer: Yeah, well, God will show you what you need to do, if you'll listen to him. And it's gonna be a little bit different for every person. Like you said, you went to the grocery store and you didn't even know what to buy for yourself because you were so used to buying for everybody else. Well, when I first started trying to get my life straightened out, probably 15 years ago, somebody said, "We'll do some things that you like. What do you like to do"?
Erin Cluley: "I have no idea".
Jai Williams: "What do I like to do"?
Joyce Meyer: I couldn't think of anything that I liked to do because I hadn't done anything except work, write books, and do conferences, you know, the call on my life and helping other people. And God just wants us to have balance. I mean, I'm called to do what I'm doing. And I'm glad I've written every book I've written, and I'm glad I've done every conference I've done, but in the midst of that, there were things that I could have said, "No," to, that were not things I was called to do. They were things that I felt like I should do. Even like, doing people favors, now, you know, we all wanna do people favors, and we should do people favors. But I finally thought, you know, "I'm spending all my time doing favors for all these other people and then I still have to do what I have to do".
Holly Wagner: For you.
Joyce Meyer: 'cuz this is my responsibility. And so, what I do now, is I say, "No," to a lot more of those things because that's not the responsibility God's given me. He's given me this responsibility. And I do things for people, but I can't just do things for people and still have time to do this.
Holly Wagner: It's just like, sometimes, just the weight and the pressure that's, we're all dealing in the world, right now. So, for me, it's like, overthinking. You read something, "Do I need to respond? Do I need to respond, right now? How do I respond right now? What if I don't? What if i," and so, that just steals my joy. I get,just takes anxiety for me. And I'm like, "Okay, stop it, Holly. Stop it. You don't have to carry, we were talking about this earlier, the weight of this on your shoulders. You know, just love people. Love the ones in front of you. "How you doing? I love you".
Jai Williams: I love you, too.
Holly Wagner: Right? It's just like, love these people. Don't feel like you have to answer for everything. And I just think, even taking that pressure off.
Ginger Stache: That's so good. I think a lot about false responsibility.
Holly Wagner: Yeah, that's the word for it. That's a good word for it.
Ginger Stache: I know that's a big thing that I carry is a lot of false responsibility.
Joyce Meyer: Oh, I had a big problem with a false sense of responsibility.
Holly Wagner: Oh, that's good. That's a really good way to put.
Joyce Meyer: And here again, it got started in my childhood because I felt like that my mother wasn't taking care of me, but somehow another, I felt like I had to make sure that she didn't find out, you know, what my dad was doing to me, because he had always said, "You better not tell anybody". And so, I took the responsibility of keeping her fixed and I just carried it into my adult life just be, I mean, you want,
Ginger Stache: That's a terrible burden.
Joyce Meyer: "You want somebody to be responsible, just tell me what you need, I'll get on it".
Jai Williams: I'm a firm believer of, like, with social media and things like that, because, I mean, that's the world we live in, and I'll be 40 this year, so I'm not,i don't feel like I'm that old.
Erin Cluley: No.
Jai Williams: Thank you. And look at Joyce, she's like, "No, you're not". Thank you.
Joyce Meyer: To be 40 again.
Jai Williams: Oh, "The good ol' days".
Holly Wagner: It was a good year.
Jai Williams: It was a good year? Thanks, I can't wait. So, I do know that social media does give a lot of valid information, you know, and so, I do you value it. But I have put parameters and boundaries around, you know, certain days I don't look, you know? So, I just think, you know, if it's not your cup of tea, then of course, don't sip it. But if it is something where you get your information, of course, just put boundaries, like we do with everything, because I do get a lot of information and it helps me to even keep in contact with my daughter and know what she's looking at and ingesting. So, I mean, of course, there's boundaries and things that are happening, and knowing what's happening. And as believers, to know what's happening in our world real-time. We do have the advantage of hearing the testimonies of other people,how many people are dealing with anxiety and need help and have social issues. And things like, it's a bunch of things that are going on that we, as believers, can speak into. Of course, I'm not saying, talk about everything because it's not our place with that,you know, with the sense of responsibility. But I do think, as believers, we can take an active role in certain things. And social media does help that, and keep boundaries in there, of course. Don't overwhelm yourself.
Joyce Meyer: Boundaries is a big word to all this. You know, we all need to have boundaries in our life. You know, you need to have safe friends. You need to have a safe place for yourself. And it's not wrong to protect yourself, and it's not wrong to take a nap, that's not wrong to rest.
Ginger Stache: Unless you're taking too many naps.
Erin Cluley: That's wrong.
Joyce Meyer: Some days I take too many naps. God didn't call us to kill ourselves. He wants you to take time to enjoy life. He said work six days, rest one. And so, obviously, it seems like we're supposed to work a little bit more than we rest, but if you don't get the rest then, you know, how many sabbaths do you owe your body?
Erin Cluley: I wrote down, I didn't spell it correctly, 'cuz I'm not exactly sure how to spell it: martyr mentality. But I always think of you, Joyce, when you tell stories of when your kids were young, and I think, it's usually when you were cleaning the bathroom and all of the kids and Dave would be having fun, and laughing, and you're saying, "I'm doing all the work, why is nobody helping me"? And I do that all the time. So, were I to cut that out and not worry about all the things that I'm doing and nobody's helping me with, maybe instead, I should just ask for help and then go out there and laugh with them.
Holly Wagner: Or go, "Here's a broom".
Erin Cluley: Yeah, exactly.
Ginger Stache: "Here Peyton, here's a sponge, rub here". Just as long as she's wearing a cute little outfit, she'll be happy.
Erin Cluley: Happy as can be.
Jai Williams: She'll definitely be wearing some type of costume, I'm sure of it.
Erin Cluley: We hope something, mhmm...
Ginger Stache: I think that being a leader, right, there's so many different things that people are depending on you for. And that's where I get a lot of that,i have a lot of things to do, a bit of a false sense of responsibility. "That if I don't do it, who will"? I've gotten wonderful people who can do so many things better than I can. So, you know, I have to really balance that and think about it. But then, there's also that I'm setting the example, right? If I don't work really, really hard. And if everybody doesn't know how hard I'm working then what kind of leader am i? And so I've really, I've learned a lot. I've really had to learn that you set a good example as a leader by caring for yourself, and not working so many hours, because then you're not expecting other people to do what God doesn't want, any of us to do. So, that's been one of those really important things for me to learn.
Joyce Meyer: Well, you know, for me when I got so sick, three and a half years ago, or whenever it was, I had to make changes. And part of it was, I had to start letting other people do things. And even, my staff had to be willing to make a change and stop saying, "Well, but it's better if Joyce does it". You know, "It's better if Joyce advertises that book". "It's better if Joyce does this". And I've had to let other people do things. And you know what we found out? God can put his anointing wherever he wants to, and it's just as good, if not better, when somebody else does it.
Holly Wagner: Isn't that the way, though. Maybe, it's our own arrogance, or we think, "No, no, it has to be me". Right?
Ginger Stache: Yeah, I know for me it's about pride. I don't realize it at the time, but, yeah.
Holly Wagner: Yeah, it's like our own arrogance that, 'cuz I'm sitting here listening to you say that, I'm, like, "I'm so guilty of that, right there. I'm getting busted".
Joyce Meyer: But you can't make changes if you're not willing to let go of some things and let somebody else do them.
Ginger Stache: So, more on this topic of feeling valuable enough to care for yourself. 'Cuz I think that's so important, to love yourself enough to give yourself a break and let God help you in the ways that he so wants to, when we're running so hard, so fast that we can't possibly hear his voice when he says, "Slow down," or, "I have something amazing for you". So, Joyce, what are some of those areas, or anybody else, what are some of those areas that you've really learned that you need to start balancing out that caring for yourself with that drive and desire to earn it?
Joyce Meyer: Well, I mean, I was out of balance in just about any area that you could pick. So, it's taken me awhile. You know, when I was diagnosed with severe, adrenal fatigue, and basically, I'd just worn myself out, I mean, that's just what that is. And my doctor looked at me and said, "I want you to rest for 18 months".
Holly Wagner: I wish I had a picture of your face when he said that.
Joyce Meyer: The first thing I said was, "What do you do"? That was my,see, do? "What do you do when you rest for 18 months"? I mean, I couldn't even get the concept to go into my brain. It was like, "You want me to rest for 18 months"? You know, it was like, I couldn't even fathom it. And I had to really learn that I just didn't have to be doing something all the time.
Ginger Stache: And it didn't happen overnight, right? It was bit of an adjustment.
Joyce Meyer: No, if your way, way, way out of balance in this area, and those of you that are, know who you are...
Erin Cluley: Okay, okay. I know!
Joyce Meyer: See, the people, like, you're a hard worker. So, it's easy for everybody to come to you 'cuz Erin'll do it.
Erin Cluley: Sure. "Erin likes to do it".
Joyce Meyer: Yeah, and Erin likes to do it. You know, the hard workers, and there are hard workers, and thank God there are. You know, we wouldn't be where we're at today, if I wasn't a hard worker.
Ginger Stache: Yeah, I'm kinda wishing you wouldn't tell Erin that stuff, 'cuz she's doing all the stuff that I don't wanna do.
Joyce Meyer: You really do get to the point where you just have to be able to say, "I just can't do it all".
Ginger Stache: Yeah, and it's a hard place to get to.
Joyce Meyer: And then you even have to say, "And I'm not going to do it all". Because even after you get to the point where you say you can't, people will still keep trying to get you to.
Holly Wagner: I guess, it's like, even the, what you just said. So, like, for me, a couple years ago when I went back to grad school. So, I'm going, "Okay, I'm gonna take on grad school, right, and write the papers, and read the books," which when I stacked them up, they came up to here. But something has to give then. Right, because if I just added that to the mix, I would have been a basket, so, I had to take something off, to then, I knew this is what I needed to do. So, I just think, whereas before that hadn't been my habit pattern. I'd go, "Just put it on, put it on. Just give me the next thing," right, till I just collapsed. So, I think, that's the key, too. Is if you're gonna take on something new, and we all take on new things.
Ginger Stache: We have to.
Holly Wagner: Right, so even like now, you're doing a lot of this, the virtual stuff, and that's a new thing, right? And it takes different dimensions and time. So, something has to shift other places.
Joyce Meyer: And it's harder to teach to a bunch of cameras than it is to teach people.
Holly Wagner: A hundred percent. Their amens are pathetic, those cameras. They're so quiet.
Jai Williams: And to that point of taking something away, I've shared on the Talk It Out show, like, and we've talked about it a bunch about the season that I have been in, of now, being like,going through a divorce and single now. And I know when I was going through that and the thing that I talk about even the identity of working in ministry and doing that, I literally, had to sit that down. And that was hard for me because I found my identity in my family and in ministry. And to have the family piece just stripp away, that's one thing. But then, to say, in order for me to work on me and to focus on my daughter, I need to set this ministry aside, for the health of, take care of me and take care of my first priority, which is my daughter.
Holly Wagner: And it's hard sometimes, to do that, to lay the thing down.
Jai Williams: It's hard to lay the thing down. You know, just to say, "You know, I gotta take care of myself".
Ginger Stache: "Who am I without that"?
Jai Williams: And that's what's been like, sometimes, I sit and like... Tick tock, tick tock, like what,who am i?
Joyce Meyer: Sometimes, you gotta lay it back down though, before you can pick it back up.
Jai Williams: Amen.
Joyce Meyer: It's like Abraham put Isaac on the altar but he got him back. And sometimes, it's not a forever thing. It's just a,
Jai Williams: Yeah, I don't feel like it's forever at all. I just knew that, this season, you talked about the seasons, I knew in this season, and it didn't make sense, to didn't make sense financially, it didn't make sense at all, you know, to set it down. It didn't make sense because I love the people, I was ministering to.
Holly Wagner: It's a marathon we're running. It's not a sprint, right? And so, sometimes, that's,like for me, you have to lay something down, to pick something else up and something will come back. It's because we're in this for the long haul.
Erin Cluley: That's so hard to remember, though. Yes, it is!
Erin Cluley: All I know is that sprinting.
Holly Wagner: Right, it feels like a sprint. So, it's the long way.
Joyce Meyer: You know, you can't feel like you have to do what everybody else is doing. Like, you were talking about going back to grad school, and I remember going through a season where it seemed like everybody that I knew was going back to school to get a degree. And I was like, "Yuck".
Erin Cluley: No, thank you.
Joyce Meyer: I just, I mean, that was just like, but there would have been a time, when I would have thought, "Well, I should do that. I need to do that". And, you know, people watching this tonight, if you're saying, "You know, I got a problem". This little 40-minute, Talk It Out show is not going to solve it. You're gonna have to dig in to your life and really get to know some deeper things about yourself that you may not wanna face and you may not want to know, like, why do you feel guilty. You know, I had to, this took me a long time. And I mean, and I can tell you now that I'm balanced, I'm healthy, I'm rested. I'm doing what I believe God's called me to do, but I'm not doing a bunch of stuff that I don't believe that he's called me to do. And,
Ginger Stache: So, there's hope.
Joyce Meyer: Yeah, so there's hope. But I just want people to understand that when they turn this off tonight, it's not gonna be, well, been there done, that bought the t-shirt, you know, got it. Even, you can buy my book, and I hope you do. But if you just read it and don't apply the principles there's no point, even getting it. And it's gonna require change.
Ginger Stache: That's a great place to wrap things up because people are dealing with stressors and a lot of things.
Joyce Meyer: And we understand that.
Ginger Stache: Yeah, absolutely. So, we encourage you, instead of feeling guilty, instead of letting all of that way on you is to choose the one thing, what's the one thing that you can begin doing that God's laying on your heart right now, I really feel like there's something that God's pressing on your heart that maybe this is an area, or maybe it's just a couple minutes, every morning, when I wake up, to start with praying, to start with welcoming God. You know, whatever it is, just begin there. And if you have to, here's a great place to begin, begin by realizing that you are valuable enough to do these things because God chose you.