Joyce Meyer - The Beauty Episode
Ginger Stache: Hi beautiful. Come on in here, because this is Joyce Meyer's Talk It Out podcast, where Joyce teaches the Word of God in her practical, no-nonsense way, and my fabulous friends and I do all of the fun part of talking about living it and we hold nothing back. I'm Ginger Stache, with Jai Williams, and Erin Cluley: three friends who are all in very different stages of life. But we really appreciate having great friends around us who can just talk and share about the things that really matter. When we need a little extra help, we call up miss Joyce, and we ask her, because sometimes, you just need to talk about life with your girlfriends. So, you are one of us, now. Come on in here, and let's Talk It Out, together.
Jai Williams: Yeah.
Ginger Stache: Well, I am really looking forward to today, because I think we're going to have so much fun. And at the same time, it's going to be really deep and important. This is our beauty episode. You're thinking, "Deep and important". But we're gonna talk about what beauty really means, as well as, some of the fun practical tips that we have all grown to love in our own regimen. I can't even call mine a beauty regimen. It's just a survival regimen.
Ginger Stache: But anyway, that's our main point today is: what is real beauty and what we can all do to live in it. And I am always amazed, traveling around the world, and meeting so many different amazing women: there is so much beauty in the world. And I just, I see these women and girls everywhere and I'm always struck by what God has put in them. And this serious beauty and grace, and it's just, it overwhelms me sometimes. And then, when you talk to these women how they feel about themselves is often very different, you know? Most of us don't see ourselves the way that we see someone else and especially, not the way that God sees us. So, we're gonna have fun with this, but my first question is: is it okay to talk about this? You know what I mean? Is it okay to talk about beauty, or is that just vanity? Is it too superficial?
Erin Cluley: Yes! Yes. I think it's important because whether we want to admit it or not, we all care about it.
Ginger Stache: We do.
Erin Cluley: And it's something that is in us as women to want to feel beautiful. And so, if we're all feeling that, I think there's something to it. So, and the Bible talks about it.
Ginger Stache: It does.
Erin Cluley: So, I think it's super important. Because too, when you talk about it, you can have healthy conversations about it. Make sure you're in the right place, not too extreme one way or another. What were you going to say?
Jai Williams: No, I was just thinking. I agree with you 100%. I think it's valid to talk about, and it's necessary to talk about because almost everybody thinks about it. I'll say, almost, because I'm sure there's a small percentage of people that really don't think about it. But especially, in today's society, we have to, there so much input from other sources, media, social media, like...
Ginger Stache: There's so much to live up to.
Jai Williams: There's so much to live up to, you know, even with my daughter like, she scrolls like, she's scrolling whether it's through Pinterest, or on, you know, on Instagram, you know, or looking at YouTube. And there's a certain standard of beauty that the world has put out there that these conversations are necessary for believers to have in order for us to say, "Hey, we know that this is something that you're thinking about it. Let's set some good parameters". And practical things to like, help you feel good about yourself as well. I think it's healthy, honestly, I think it's needed. Especially, in this type of, you know, through this type of forum like, with believing women that love Jesus but can also set some good parameters, because there a lot of people that think it's a taboo topic, so.
Ginger Stache: Well, we have a friend who's going to join us, and she is one of those very, very beautiful people. And she had a hard journey of her own, learning what beauty really means and trying a lot of different things to be beautiful. And then, discovering what beauty really is. So, we're going to be talking to our friend, lori, in a little bit. She has a great story. She was a professional sports cheerleader, she did all sorts of things, and she is truly gorgeous inside and out, but she learned a lot the hard way. So, we're gonna learn from her too.
Erin Cluley: Can I just be honest, real fast, as we start this too?
Jai Williams: No.
Ginger Stache: Absolutely. Oh, sorry, Jai said, "No".
Erin Cluley: I'm going to do it anyways, thank you. This is a...
Ginger Stache: She told you!
Jai Williams: She did.
Erin Cluley: Stop! That was my mom voice, with the finger and everything. This topic is fun and I love to talk about it. But also, it hits sort of like a sore spot for me, right now. So, I just want to say that upfront. Like, I feel like, I'm battling this as we speak, anyways. And so, for women listening, whether we have come to the point where we are confident in who we are and we feel good about ourselves, I feel like we're always going to be going through cycles where...
Ginger Stache: I think you're right.
Erin Cluley: I get knocked a bit down and I have to build myself back up in the area of confidence, or beauty, and remind myself, "I am beautiful". And so, I'm in a place where I'm sort of rebuilding that. And so, I just wanna be honest and throw that out there, and say I'm really excited to talk about this with you guys, cuz I think I need it, too. And so, I just want to tell my friends that.
Ginger Stache: And see, we look at Erin, and see such beauty. In fact, I look at both of you, and it's just like, "Wow," you know? You are physically beautiful, you're internally beautiful. God has put so much beauty in both of you. And I think like you're saying, and like I've felt, and I'm sure like, you've felt Jai, and that some of our friends who are with us right now, has felt at times, is that like, I don't belong in this company. Do you know what I mean?
Erin Cluley: Yeah.
Ginger Stache: And I think there are so many women who are listening right now, who don't even know how to see themselves in the way that makes God smile, the way that he sees them with such delight, because all they can see when they look in the mirror is all of the problems. And we've all been there. And so, I really appreciate you sharing that and I think this is going to be a breakthrough for a lot of people as we continue to talk about it.
Erin Cluley: I want our friends to know that as we're starting to talk about this, we don't have all of our stuff figured out either.
Ginger Stache: Oh, my no.
Erin Cluley: Like, we're figuring out the same thing.
Jai Williams: Not at all. If they saw our text train they'd know that.
Erin Cluley: That's so true!
Ginger Stache: We send the most awful pictures.
Erin Cluley: Oh yeah!
Jai Williams: Exactly! And so that's what's going through my brain. I'm like, while we're saying this, like, we've learned, I believe, in this group of friends just to be completely transparent with each other. Because sometimes, the picture's like, sometimes, the pictures that are posted of me, don't look how I think I look, let's just say that.I'm like, "How did y'all pick that, why did you pick that"? And so, a lot of things that my daughter always says, she's like, "Mom, check your tagged pictures". And like, "Why"? And she's like, "Cuz that's how people think you look". I'm like, "Doggonit"! And then, I'm like... Confidence down the drain.
Ginger Stache: I love that drain sound.
Jai Williams: That, whoo! Like, those pictures that I have no say-so in how they look, I'm like...
Erin Cluley: They keep us humble.
Jai Williams: Yeah, it's like, "Is that how you all really think I look? Cuz that is not how I think I look. Thank you so much". So, yes, I am with you, erin, those moments are a reality check.
Erin Cluley: Real life.
Jai Williams: Gut punches, like, "Oh, okay, alright. Thank you, thank you". So, this should help me is well. But we share those pictures in our group chat.
Ginger Stache: We do.
Jai Williams: And I guess, to help us, I guess, it's kinda like tough love, when it's the most probably, unflattering photo, we make it each other's profile.
Ginger Stache: We do!
Erin Cluley: It's maybe, my favorite thing about you two, that when jail texts me, I have the most unflattering photo of her pop up. But you're still so beautiful.
Jai Williams: There's some that I've sent that I zoom in on, like, "Can you believe this is what was put out there about me"? And they're like, "It's gorgeous! It's going to be my new profile pic," so, great friends, great.
Ginger Stache: So, I had a little beauty break down last week, and I started cutting my own hair, just because it didn't look the way that I wanted it too, right? I was not happy with it. So, I'm just like, pulling it out and cutting my hair, and I sent them pictures of...
Erin Cluley: Like, large chunks, you're just like...
Ginger Stache: Cutting pieces out of my hair. And then, right after that, just a couple days later, found out that I had to do a photoshoot for a project that I'm working on that we had no idea was coming up. And it's like, "God, your timing is hilarious". I just hacked my own hair, Jai's not happy, you know, with some of the pictures that we use, Erin's not feeling her best all the time, definitely, and we all have so much that we could commiserate with each other on and just say, "Wow, I'm so glad that you guys get it. You get my inside and my terrible outside, both".
Jai Williams: No, terrible? Don't say that because it is beautiful.
Ginger Stache: When it is terrible.
Jai Williams: Well, sometimes.
Ginger Stache: Well, you have seen the terrible. But, Erin, you said how the Bible talks about beauty and it does. It talks about beauty and beautiful people in the Bible. So, there's nothing wrong with wanting to do the best with what we have. And like you said, there's something natural in people, and I think that God has put in women, that we want to be beautiful, but we don't always understand is what beautiful is. We want the airbrushed, perfect look that we see in other places. That stuff is not real. And I've learned so much over the years, and I'm sure you guys have too, about what real beauty is. So, let's start with that. Let's see, this is what Joyce has to say about the way God looks at beauty and then we'll talk about it.
Joyce Meyer: Do you like yourself? Do you love yourself? Do you respect yourself? Because here's the bottom line, what you believe about yourself is much more important than what anybody else believes about you. Come on, what you believe about yourself is much more important than what anybody else believes about you. And if you know who you are in Christ then you don't have to live as a people-pleaser. Satan regularly attacks our worth and value. You know, when Jesus was being tempted in the wilderness, the account is in Luke chapter 4, two different times Satan said to him, "Well, if you are the Son of God". "Well, if you are a child of God, then why do you have these problems? Well, if God loves you, then why hasn't he answered your prayers"? He's always trying to attack our worth and our value and get us thinking that God doesn't love us. And so, we want to talk for just a minute about how your self-image affects your future, because adventure requires boldness, and boldness requires confidence, and confidence requires a healthy self-image. So, how do you see yourself?
Ginger Stache: So, that's a great question, how do we see ourselves? And when we look at what God's word says about who we are and how he sees us, it doesn't always soak in that easily, you know? We can hear, "God loves you. He cares about everything that you care about," but we can still look in a mirror, or worse than that, look at a reflection of who we are in the inside, in our own mind, and truly, dislike what we see. So, before we get to our friend, lori, just, what are some things that you guys have dealt with your own self-image and the way that you see yourself inside and outside?
Jai Williams: I know, for like, the physical side of things, because before I got married and before I had my daughter, I was a cheerleader. You know, I'm only 5'1" and so, I was a cheerleader. Definitely was very physically fit, active. My wedding dress was a size zero, like it, well, I said, it was a zero-one, so, it was like a one. But I was like, and then, all of the sudden, I became a one-zero and then, it just kept going up, and up, you know... And so, as I got older, of course, the area that of course, like the problem that I really had was my mid area, you know, after I had my daughter, everything, cuz I used to pride myself on having abs, cuz like, every summer I would work on that so I could look right in my cheerleading uniform. But then, after it got all mangled by having a kid... You know, it just looked all wrinkly, you know? And then, having had a c-section too, that was the first area that, like that just really, I was just like, almost obsessed over it and did not feel beautiful because of the t-shirts I would wear, looked like I was still pregnant, or you know? And it was just like, "Man". And then, it just kinda, because I allowed myself to stay in that mindset, that is what like, it just kinda, it didn't change.
Ginger Stache: It begins to consume you, doesn't it?
Jai Williams: Yeah, it consumed my mind, and then, like I said, I got more weight, you know, packed on because I got into a state of almost depression because I was so obsessed with the fact that I wasn't what I was. That I wasn't okay with where I was at the moment, and that actually did more detriment. So, that's one of things. I always, I've loved being short, just who I am, but then when my body shifted after I had Taylor, she's almost, well, she's seventeen. So, that's a long time ago that, that happened. But it was a mindset thing, and then, after that, cuz I'd never struggled with like, self-esteem really. I was okay with my big ol' smile. I was okay with only being five foot one. I was fine with that stuff. But then, when the weight thing happened, it was like, "Whoa". That was one of the things that made me physically, you know, not happy. And that ended up making me internally not happy. Because then, I just doubted everything about who I thought God said I was and who he thought I was, I didn't realize that so much of who I was, I thought God thought of me that way, you know? I thought God, I don't know.
Ginger Stache: We start to do that to ourselves, don't we?
Jai Williams: Yeah.
Ginger Stache: "I'm looking at myself for so long in this way that surely, God is disappointed with me too, somehow"?
Jai Williams: Yeah. Yeah, so it was a hard season, and I'm just now, coming out of it. And honestly, the season I'm in now, with you know, walking through a divorce like, this has helped pivot me into a new season of like, "You know what? I will not use this season the same way I did before. I won't allow this to make me feel bad about who I am on the inside or the outside. Like, no, I love who God says I am". So, it's a different mindset this time around.
Ginger Stache: Yeah, good.
Erin Cluley: Which is interesting because, like, I can see that in you. I didn't know you then, from what you went through, before. But watching you now, while it's so difficult like, beauty is all over you. And even though you're going through something so difficult, like you know who you are in Christ. And so, it's amazing how it works. But like it comes out in who you are, and you appear confident, and you're so beautiful. And I think that's so amazing, it's the same with you. Like, you know who you are in Christ, so not only are you just beautiful the way he made you, but it exudes from who you are, and things about you, like shine brighter. Sounds so cheesy, but you do, you shine brighter when you know who you are in Christ. When you know who God says you are, it makes a difference.
Ginger Stache: Is true, but it takes years to get there.
Erin Cluley: Oh, so long.
Ginger Stache: It does. It takes years, and it takes a lot of study, and a lot of prayer, and it really takes the Holy Spirit to teach you things. Because, I remember, everybody around me always being so pretty, you know? Like my mom, and grandma, and different people, family members, and friends, they're so pretty, and I was such a tomboy. I mean, I was just the epitome of, you know, falling off my bike and having scabs all over me. And you know, dressing like a boy basically, cuz I was such a tomboy. And so, you start to see yourself differently. And it took me a long time to realize that I love that about me. Those are things that God put in me because I love adventure and I love the outdoors. And I would try to put those things aside and try to be girly, and it was ludicrous. I'm a terrible girly girl. But if i, instead, concentrate on who God has made me, cuz it's all about joy. Joy is what makes us beautiful, you know?
Erin Cluley: That's the word I was looking for: joy.
Ginger Stache: Yeah, and I think there's something, and I can just see people listening right now, who are thinking, "Ah, you know, I don't see it in me". There's something so wonderful about not knowing how beautiful you are, and God uses that to make you more beautiful. What's beautiful about people is not just the outside, but it's God's love shining through them, like you're saying. And if we can focus there, but it's not always easy, it changes things so much. And erin, I'm sure, for you, that we don't even see any flaws, you know, we don't even see any problems.
Erin Cluley: She's so sweet.
Ginger Stache: But i...
Erin Cluley: Keep going! Keep going!
Ginger Stache: I know that everybody, like, when I look in a mirror, I see tiny, squinty eyes, and a large nose, and a tiny mouth, and no chin. You know, so there are things...
Jai Williams: Very specific.
Ginger Stache: There are things that we can focus on. And if instead, I don't do that and I don't say, "This is the problem," and I focus, instead on, "God, what do you want me to do to make someone else feel beautiful"? Because that is what makes us beautiful is when our focus is outside of ourselves. But anyway, I'm sure, you've dealt with some of that too.
Erin Cluley: Absolutely, I think, growing up like you said, I had kind of forgot about this. I remember always feeling like the odd man out. I've always been freckly. And went through a really bad makeup stage, where nobody told me that my makeup was not the right shade for my skin.
Ginger Stache: Oh, dear.
Erin Cluley: It was terrible. Those are bad photos. I'll send you all that one next time.
Jai Williams: New profile pic.
Ginger Stache: New profile, yay.
Erin Cluley: And so, my friends would always be the ones who had boyfriends and I would be invited to be on their date, you know, like chaperone their date. Which is always really good for the soul when you're the one who's the chaperone. So, those things happened early on. I think, they sort of stick with you. So, I've always kind of had to work on that. And then even, as an adult, like after having kids it's changed my body. I feel sometimes, like I still look like a middle school girl. I'm thin, which I know, like that's great, but like, do I look like a stick figure? Do I look like a boy? Am I not as attractive as someone who is...
Ginger Stache: Curvy enough. If you're straight you want to be curvy. If you're curvy, you want to be straight. You know?
Jai Williams: I'll give you some of my curves, here...
Erin Cluley: I'll take some. So, I think, that's a good point, though. We always want what somebody else has. And so, going back to the place, like, wait a second, I love my freckles now because it covers up stuff on my face. Like, if I get a pimple, you can't see 'em.
Ginger Stache: She's covering pimples and you can't even tell.
Erin Cluley: But you can't tell because of my freckles. You learn to embrace what you've been given. So, when I learned how to use the right makeup, that helped. Things like that but, yeah, you kinda want what you don't have.
Ginger Stache: Well, let's call our friend, Lori. Because Lori, like we said, is so beautiful inside and out, but it's been a journey for her. So, let's give her a call and talk a little bit about this journey she's been on.
Ginger Stache: Hi Lori! It's so nice to have you with us. Thanks for talking it out with us.
Lori Potter: Well, thanks for having me. It's wonderful to see your faces.
Ginger Stache: It's good to see yours too.
Erin Cluley: We like seeing your face.
Ginger Stache: This is our friend, Lori Potter. And Lori is one of those people that just brings joy into every room that she comes into. You do! And she just kind of exudes a natural beauty. But Lori, I know that it's been a journey, right? For you to kind of be comfortable in that and maybe even, to see yourself that way?
Lori Potter: It still is, actually. I mean, I've come a long way. But yeah, it's been quite a journey.
Ginger Stache: You were bullied right? When you were in school.
Lori Potter: Yes. Like middle school. Not the greatest age group, I think, for a lot of girls.
Ginger Stache: What is it with girls and middle school?
Erin Cluley: It's terrible.
Jai Williams: Maybe it's the budding hormones. I don't know.
Erin Cluley: And your body's going through all sorts of...
Jai Williams: And you're just going through a bunch of insecurity yourself probably, in that phase.
Lori Potter: Yeah.
Jai Williams: And so, instead of dealing with it, you just project it onto others.
Ginger Stache: Yeah, we just take it out on everybody else.
Lori Potter: It's crazy. Mean girls, that's a real syndrome.
Ginger Stache: So, how did that impact you?
Lori Potter: So yeah, so, it was like early 8th grade, I'd say. I started getting bullied on a school bus. It started with one person, one girl. And then, it eventually, kind of spread to the whole school bus, and then, after that it spread to the whole school. So, if you can imagine like, you know, a young girl getting bullied by maybe a hundred people, day in, day out, month after month. What that left me with was this idea that there must be something terribly wrong with me, because otherwise, why would so many people hate me, right? I was on this dance team and it was the summer before my freshman year in high school. And there's a group photo was taken. And I saw that group photo and I hated myself so much that I scribbled an x across my face. And that kind of shows you the impact of how badly self-hatred took root after I'd gone through what I went through in 8th grade.
Ginger Stache: Yeah.
Lori Potter: So, it was such a major transformation from what I had looked like in high school to what I ended up looking like after high school, that it was almost unrecognizable.
Ginger Stache: And there was a time that a friend said to you something that was, I guess, eye-opening for you? Like, "Is there anything left real about you"?
Lori Potter: Yeah, exactly. So, one of the things I did to try to give myself worth and value was I entered pageants, because, you know, overachiever.
Ginger Stache: Hey, and if you get a sash and a crown...
Lori Potter: I think, yeah, so, I thought, you know, it was the miss Sacramento pageant. I won third runner up and I thought it would be funny to try to trick my friend andrea into thinking that I'd won. So, I had the sash on and I had this great big bouquet of roses, and I was glammed out, and I had on my ball gown and everything, and I showed up at her door, knocked on the door. She answered the door, took one look at me and she started laughing. And I'm like, "What is wrong"? And she goes, "Is there anything real about you, anymore"?
Jai Williams: Wow.
Lori Potter: So, that was kind of an eye-opening thing for me at that point. I was more offended though, than I really, realized that, you know, there's something wrong with wanting to change yourself that severely that people are telling you.
Jai Williams: I remember something similar to that in high school. When you're talking about this, that just really triggered me to think about some of the things that I even did in high school. I was one of the only black people in my class. And I look back at some of my photos and I realized that I had gotten blonde braids because I wanted my hair to be longer. My hair was already long, but it was coarser, of coarse, and curlier, and took a long time to straighten. But I remember getting blonde braids, and contacts were really popular, and I got blue contacts. This was subconscious.
Ginger Stache: Oh, wow.
Jai Williams: I didn't even realize that I had done it but until I look back now, and I'm like, "Wow". Like, you know, I can attest to that. I remember being in high school, this was probably my sophomore year, I did that probably, my sophomore and junior year. Because I wanted to fit in and I wanted to look like everyone else. So, I know what that could potentially feel like, you know? Just to reinvent yourself to maybe, even look like what you think beauty is, so.
Lori Potter: Yeah, we could just accept ourselves the way we were, right?
Jai Williams: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ginger Stache: You ended up being essentially, the epitome of what people want to be as beautiful. I mean, you were a professional cheerleader for the nba, you were visually, I'm sure, what many people would look at and say, "Hey, she has arrived". But how did you feel internally as you went through that time?
Lori Potter: Very, very insecure. I felt very insecure during that whole time. Through most of my young adulthood, I would say, I was very insecure. I after I got married, I felt a little more secure because my husband loved me unconditionally. It was like the first unconditional love that I'd really experienced in my life. So, and then, God, of course. You know, once I start walking with the Lord then he started teaching me about his unconditional love, but it took a very long time. You know, once I got to be about 30-years old, one of the other things I did to alter myself was get breast implants. And I had those for about 20 years, and I started having some health problems. But by then, the last 10 years I had them, I didn't like them because it didn't do anything for me. You know, it didn't make me feel more whole, or...
Ginger Stache: It didn't do what you thought it would do?
Lori Potter: So, I went ahead and you know, had those removed last fall.
Ginger Stache: And you were having health problems because of the implants, right?
Lori Potter: Yes. Yes, absolutely. A lot of inflammation issues over the last 10 years that I had them. And it kind of crept up. But, yeah. So now, I'm still going through the healing process of that physically.
Erin Cluley: Just to be real honest here, I've always wanted to do that. And so I don't have, I think there's things that you can do to our bodies that isn't like against the Bible, and I think, I was okay with the idea of it. But after talking to Lori, and just maybe, God working on my heart, I had to, I kept coming back to, "What is your motive Erin? Like why do you wanna do that"? I don't think there's anything wrong with doing it. But at the same time like, why do I feel the need to change the way that God made me. And so, after talking to Lori about that, and then, just knowing your health issues...
Ginger Stache: And the risks, yeah.
Erin Cluley: Yeah, all of that, it's just, it kind of opened my eyes and it made me take a step back, and think like, "What's my motive? And I need to check my heart on that one".
Lori Potter: I'm so glad because you're gorgeous the way you are and you don't need to add anything to it.
Ginger Stache: Lori, what was the turning point, or was it more of a process where you began to understand a different concept of true beauty?
Lori Potter: I think it was after I started walking with the Lord. I was kind of a prodigal, it was maybe, 2005 when I came back to Christ. And learning about how he sees me and who I am in Christ, the love that he has for me is unconditional, and how he designed me is the way I'm supposed to be. And so, it's kind of a long healing process where you gotta unlearn certain habits and behaviors. And you know, learn how God wants us to see ourselves.
Ginger Stache: Well, if there's one encouragement you could give women as we tell you, "Bye," what would you say to them when they're not feeling sufficient in who they are? How would you encourage them?
Lori Potter: I would encourage them, first by saying that when you're rejecting, what you're doing is rejecting yourself. The process of, you know, not liking the way certain parts of you, or however, you're put together. Not liking yourself, it's actually, a form of bullying, it's self-bullying. And that's something that...
Ginger Stache: That's interesting.
Lori Potter: I had to come into a realization and realize that little girl, in 8th grade, was bullied horribly by so many people, and all I did was transition from them bullying me, to me bullying myself. And that's kind of an eye-opening moment where I had to just start to learn to love that child. And kinda go through my life and learn to you get to the point where I can totally accept who I am and the way I am today.
Ginger Stache: That's such a fascinating way to look at it. Because it really is, your right, it's rejecting yourself, but it's also rejecting God. It's saying, "God, you should have done this differently". And that's a big way to hurt ourselves. Yeah, exactly.
Erin Cluley: When she said that, I just have this picture of all of these women, all of our girlfriends who are watching this, who feel that exact same way, Lori. Like, we have the little girl inside of us, who were bullied, or hurt as little kids, or even as adults, and we've never let God heal her. So, we have to be okay going back. So, for all of our friends who are listening, let's let God go back there, let's let him heal that little girl inside of us, and be the beautiful women he's called us to be.
Ginger Stache: Lori, thank you so much. We're so glad you were with us, talking it out together. We love you.
Lori Potter: Well, I love you all, too. Thank you so much for having me on the show today, and I appreciate every one of you.
Ginger Stache: Bye-bye.
Lori Potter: Bye.
Ginger Stache: Well, let's jump right back into the word because what Lori was talking about is so good for all of us, right now. And accepting ourselves and seeing our full beauty is so important, and it's not natural. It's not what the world teaches us. So, let's hear more from Joyce about that specifically, and what God's word says about who we are, and how to make it happen.
Joyce Meyer: It's so easy to look okay on the outside. I always say, "We can dress it up and take it to church," but that doesn't mean that the real me went to church, or even paid any attention while I was there, or got anything out of it, or even intend to do anything with what I heard when I leave. That's a good time to clap. Mark 7 verse 6 says, "These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me". Mark 7:14, they, you know, in the early New Testament so many people had lived under the Jewish legalism and one of the things that was an issue for them all the time was what they ate, what they touched, washing their hands before they ate. And so, now, Jesus is trying to get the message across to them that it's not the things on the outside, it's not what we touch or what we eat that defiles us, it's what's in our heart that defiles us. And so, in Mark 7:14, he said, "Nothing outside a person can defile them by getting into them. Rather, it is what comes out of a person that defiles them".
Ginger Stache: Isn't that true? When you think about some people that you know, who are really attractive when you met them, but after you got to know them a little bit, they did not look so good. You know what I mean? It's because of the things that are coming out of us that defile us, and if the things that are coming out of us are different, if they are the love of God, and the fruit of his spirit, then it does impact what we look like on the outside. It's true.
Jai Williams: That goes back to what Erin was talking about, that joy and that light inside of you like, being the thing that's so beautiful. And that is the truth, you know? Because I know the word talks about what's in you will out like, you know, out of the abundance of your heart, the mouth speaks. And so, when your heart is corrupt, or dark, or mean...
Ginger Stache: You are not gonna look good.
Jai Williams: It makes you look, I've seen some of the most beautiful like, physically beautiful people, you know like, that I look and I'm like, "Wow". And then, they open their mouths and it's like, ew... You know?
Erin Cluley: Yeah.
Jai Williams: You know, it can just make, it can really deter. And so, I really try even now, you know, like I've really tried to let the joy of the Lord be either, I have a resting face that just kind of is just like this... I don't like that, so..
Ginger Stache: I don't see anything wrong.
Erin Cluley: She looks kind of angry at you.
Ginger Stache: Okay, okay.
Jai Williams: That's one thing that I've enjoyed about like, you know, like quarantine and things like that. Like, I've been wearing a mask, and so it's now like, the older gentleman at the gas station...
Ginger Stache: "I look better than I've ever looked".
Jai Williams: "Smile baby girl"! And so, now, with the mask, I don't have to worry about it. But I been intentionally, because I do, like, there's been such a transformation inside of me, you know, over this past year, I truly want the joy of the Lord to like, shine through me. So, I'm like, trying to like... Smile more. You know, intentionally, because...
Ginger Stache: Your eyes smile. So, you can tell in a mask if you're smiling or not.
Jai Williams: Smizen.
Ginger Stache: Yeah, exactly.
Jai Williams: Or I look crazy.
Ginger Stache: Yeah, my smize tends to look a little crazy sometimes. Well, we do have a free Bible study. It's a resource, but it's a free Bible study that's online that is so perfect for this. We wanna tell you about it. It's, "14 weeks to boost your confidence," it's an online study that you can do that will really help you. And we have all these little beauty tips that we were gonna talk about and show, and we're running out of time, cuz we have so many important things to talk about. So, I'm gonna ask everybody to pick one thing, and then maybe, we'll do some others as a bonus but pick the one thing that you think, okay, pick more if you want. I'm not gonna...
Erin Cluley: It's so hard.
Ginger Stache: Okay, I'll go first. I'll go, okay. So, for me, my hair is like it has a life completely outside of mine. It just, I have a lot of hair, and it grows really fast, and it grows straight down over my face, like a llama, and so, anything that I can find to help with that. So, I have certain things, and this is one like, okay use a silk pillowcase. Now, my mom did it, my grandma did it, and I do too, because it doesn't make my hair so crazy and it's also really good for your skin. So, that's the one I threw out. I love oils too, for your hair and for your face, it just makes a big difference.
Erin Cluley: That's so good, I'm gonna get one.
Ginger Stache: So, that's a couple quick ones.
Erin Cluley: I brought my mascara.
Ginger Stache: Oh, mascara, I love you.
Erin Cluley: And I just buy grocery store brand mascara because I've tried a few. But I just love a good mascara.
Ginger Stache: Me too.
Erin Cluley: Because if you have some good eyelashes going on, then it just helps brighten everything.
Ginger Stache: It's true. Eyelashes are like underwear. You just don't go out without it.
Jai Williams: Or you do.
Ginger Stache: That's a horrible outlook on life but, anyway.
Erin Cluley: That's a different kind of story.
Ginger Stache: That's some therapy that I'll need later.
Erin Cluley: Also, I brought nail polish because I love having my nails painted. So, even just a fresh, little coat of paint makes me feel feminine, it makes me feel like I am ready to out and conquer the world.
Ginger Stache: Yeah.
Erin Cluley: Yeah.
Jai Williams: Okay, well, I brought a box.
Ginger Stache: Jai has a box! What's in the box Jai?
Jai Williams: I don't know. I don't...
Erin Cluley: Unveil it.
Jai Williams: Well, I don't know which one I should unveil. Should I go for the big one, or should I go for the smaller... hmm.
Ginger Stache: I'm so anxious.
Erin Cluley: Save one for later.
Jai Williams: Okay. Well, this one is just because I think it's very, very practical, and very cheap. And so, I get this from my local beauty supply. Now, keep in mind. This is not Sally's. Okay? Now, this isn't Sally's, this is something like, it has typically has a royal name like kings or queens, you know, like, these types beauty supplies, which if you've never been, you two, I have to take you on a field trip. You have clothing in there...
Ginger Stache: I'm ready to go.
Jai Williams: It's everything in there, okay? Everything you've ever needed and everything's really, really cheap. So, I do have some really like, I have some pretty expensive makeup, too. But this little thingy.
Ginger Stache: So, what is it?
Jai Williams: It's a mineral powder and it's a really, it's a darker color. I don't even think it's made for what I use it for, but I love it, because I make a contour out of it. So, even if I don't wear foundation because my skin is pretty dry already, like sometimes, I don't have to wear a lot of like foundation, but I use this, and I make like, cheekbones.
Erin Cluley: You have lovely cheekbones.
Ginger Stache: You do.
Erin Cluley: I've noticed.
Jai Williams: And it might not even be, I like how it looks, so I like this. This makes me feel pretty.
Ginger Stache: Is that not the key, anyway?
Jai Williams: I don't care that it's called, what is it? It's just a random "Rk". Who knows what that is? I don't know, but it was $3, and I love it, so.
Erin Cluley: I think that's great.
Jai Williams: Thank you.
Ginger Stache: Cuz when we feel good, I think that's one of the biggest things, is don't think so much about trends that you do something that you don't feel right in. Feel good in your own skin, feel good about yourself. And I think that there are so many things that come from the inside out, you know? Forgiveness, don't be holding grudges.
Jai Williams: Yeah.
Ginger Stache: We've already talked about the joy in our life, but those different things that really do change from the inside out. It's like drinking water, right? You drink a lot of water, it changes your skin, it makes you more healthy. It's the same way drinking in the Word of God, it comes out and it does the same thing, and it changes who you are, and it changes the way people see you and the way you see yourself.
Erin Cluley: I brought my hat because, I love hats. But someone told me they didn't like it.
Ginger Stache: What?!
Erin Cluley: Yeah, I know. But so, I thought, "Well, then, maybe I'll never wear this hat. It's fine".
Ginger Stache: Who is this person?
Jai Williams: They have no fashion.
Erin Cluley: Right? But to me, I put it on and I said, "No, Erin, you like this hat". So, when I wear it, it's cute, but it's more symbolic to me like, "I feel cute and I'm wearing this for myself and because I feel good not because of what anybody else thinks". So, to me, wearing that hat is an act of like, claiming who I am.
Ginger Stache: Good for you.
Erin Cluley: I know.
Jai Williams: And it's a cute hat.
Ginger Stache: Plus it looks good.
Erin Cluley: And I look great in it so...
Ginger Stache: I think you should put it on.
Jai Williams: It would look really cute with that outfit.
Erin Cluley: Can we finish the podcast with my hat on?
Ginger Stache: We should. Nice, it's a total win.
Erin Cluley: Even if you think it's so ugly, I love it so much!
Jai Williams: No, I don't think it's ugly. The brim is flipped up a little bit. There we go, oh, oh, yeah... Mhm... You look cute.
Erin Cluley: Alright, carry on. I'm just going to sit over here in my hat...
Ginger Stache: I just think there's so much that God wants to tell us about real beauty. And I think of different people, in my life, who maybe, haven't always been the most classic beauties like, you know, symmetry and perfection of their features, but they are some of the most beautiful people that I can think of, because of what God has taught me through them, or the way that they loved me, or different things just about who they are and how they loved other people. And so, I'm thinking about so many of you who are listening right now, and who are watching, and just don't see those good things in yourself. I know, I know without a doubt, that there is physical beauty in each one of you, but most importantly, is that internal: the humility, the kindness, the gentleness, the things that God has put in you, if we can all focus on those things and let those things pour out, you're gonna be looking so good, and people are going to be drawn to you. That's what we want. That's who we're meant to be. We're meant to draw people to you because of Christ in you, not because of the wrong things, you know, not because of what they think they can get from you, or because you look a certain way. Draw people to the Christ in you and it changes everything.
Jai Williams: A hundred percent, hundred percent. And the thing about it is, we are made in his image.
Ginger Stache: Yeah.
Jai Williams: And that's one of things that helped me. And so, for anyone that's watching, or are listening right now, just know that you are made in his image. And so, I started saying that.
Ginger Stache: Perfectly.
Jai Williams: Perfectly in his image, so this mug, this face here, this looks like him. And that's something that made me say like, "You know what? I don't want to insult him, even". So, I started just declaring that, "I am beautiful. I am", you know, "I look like my daddy," you know, and I just have to keep saying that until it started really taken root. And also, one other thing that I want to just encourage everybody to do is, start doing little things to love yourself. Like, self love is very, very important. Whether that's skipping out on that cookie, or you know, taking a little walk. I went on my first hike the other day and so...
Ginger Stache: Yay!
Jai Williams: Yeah, every day that I choose to do something for me, because we, as women, have often times do a lot to love everyone else and we forget about ourselves, and you'll start feeling better about yourself. Not saying become vain or selfish, but every day do a little something for yourself because like, that matters. And once you do that, then you'll start seeing that, you know? And finding value in yourself.
Ginger Stache: Yeah. I have one other suggestion, I think this is a hugely important, hang out with beautiful people. And I'm not talking about physically beautiful people. I'm talking about people who you are drawn to because of the beauty of Christ in them. When you hang out, and here's some examples right here, when you hang out with beautiful people it rubs off on you.
Erin Cluley: It does.
Ginger Stache: The Jesus in them splashes over onto you. And you know, that's why I love being with so many people that God has put in my life because it rubs off. And so, find the people around you. Don't choose your people because of the wrong factors, choose your people because they are beautiful in Christ and it'll rub off on you, too.
Jai Williams: Hundred percent.
Erin Cluley: That's good.
Ginger Stache: Well, thank you all so much. And I really do wanna hear more beauty tips. So, maybe, we'll do some behind-the-scenes stuff and hear a few...
Jai Williams: I've got more in that box.
Erin Cluley: I need to know what's in there.
Jai Williams: It's good stuff.
Ginger Stache: So, be watching for that. It's gonna be fun. In fact, probably the way that you'll need to see that is to sign up for our friend's email list. That's how you get a lot of special, fun, behind-the-scenes stuff, that's when you know about our new episodes coming out. And please subscribe also, wherever you like to listen to your podcasts, or watch your podcasts. And please, just Talk It Out with us, as often as you'd like to, because we love being around you. You're one of those beautiful people that rub off on us, too. Thank you all.
Jai Williams: No, thank you.
Ginger Stache: And you are looking extra spectacular today.
Jai Williams: Especially, with that hat on.
Erin Cluley: That'll be my new signature.
Ginger Stache: Tip of the hat?
Erin Cluley: Yeah, thank you.
Jai Williams: Good day.
Ginger Stache: We'll see you all next time.