Josh Howerton - THIS is the Biggest REGRET People Have On Their Deathbed (01/12/2026)

TOPICS: Regrets

Summary:

This sermon tackles the top deathbed regret—"I wish I'd stayed in touch with my friends"—by showing from Genesis that humans are created in the image of a relational God, so isolation goes against our design and the quality of life depends on the quality of relationships. Drawing from Proverbs, the preacher distinguishes wise, foolish, and evil people, urging believers to build close ties with the wise, pastoral influence over the foolish, and professional distance from the evil. The climax calls everyone to avoid being unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6) and instead chain themselves to godly relationships through life groups, promising no regrets.

Good Morning and Puppy Introduction
Right, we yeah good morning Lake Pointe family! If you guys have your Bibles, we’re going to be all over the place today. So like, chill out for now, and we’ll get there in a second. I do just need to say, man, if I seem a little more upbeat, the Howton family are proud owners of a new puppy as of last night. Guys, big family joy!

So let me introduce you to the very ferocious, very intimidating Mr. Bingley. I just heard a very feminine «awe,» and that’s appropriate because I have bass baits larger than that dog! That dog weighs one and a half pounds. Janet named him after a character from Pride and Prejudice. If somebody breaks into our house, they’ve got three problems: me, Smith, and Wesson—not Bingley! That’s the thing. So all three of you, I ask you to do me a favor: all three of my kids are home sick today. They’re watching Daddy in this service, so would you guys help my kids see that? Congratulations on the new puppy! Love you guys, awesome!

Series Introduction: Regret-Proof Your Life
Okay, hey all right, well, Lake Pointe family, we are in week whatever of a series that we call «Regret-Proof Your Life.» This is a series where we are responding to the five most common regrets that are documented—yes, documented—that people have on their deathbeds. If I were to give this series a visual, it would be encapsulated in one picture: no regrets! No regrets! I love that in every service there are people who start laughing really fast, and then there are people who laugh about eight seconds later. That’s always great to me!

My job as a pastor is to prepare you for your deathbed in a very real sense. Our goal in this series is to prepare you to live this day in a way you will wish you had lived on that day. Here is the number one regret that people have on their deathbed—it’s very straightforward: people simply die saying this: «I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.»

Theological Foundation: Created for Relationship
Now, here’s what we’re going to do: I’m going to start fairly theological; then we’re going to get practical. So let’s do some Bible teaching up front here—just track with me. There is a deeply theological reason this is the most common thing people express on their deathbed, and here’s why.

If you get into the Book of Genesis, God creates everything, and what He does is follow a very distinct pattern. In the Book of Genesis, when it describes God’s creation, there’s a pattern of creation and declaration. What God does seven times in the Book of Genesis, if you’ll notice, is He creates, and then He makes a declaration after everything He creates. God saw that it was good; you say the word out loud: God saw that it was what? That it was good! He says this seven times for everything He creates.

Now, what I’m getting ready to teach you happens before the fall; so before sin enters the world—Brokenness, Satan, all those things—there’s one thing that God creates that, even though He created everything good, He looks at and says this: «It is not good for the man to be alone.» We see that in creation! Even though God is—in this sense—walking with Adam, He still goes, «This is not good.» I say that because a lot of people think their relationship with God is private, and let me just say this: it is personable; it is personal, but it’s never to be private.

Think about this: a lot of people think that, as long as their relationship with God is good, it’s just them and God. Intimacy with God and the Holy Spirit—that’s all they need. You’re wrong! That’s not good because Adam was literally walking with God in the cool of the day, step by step, right next to his Maker, and God still goes, «Not good.»

Now, let’s go a layer deeper theologically: why was that not good? Check this out: the Bible says that Adam was created «in the image of God.» The Council of Nicaea in 325 AD looked into the Bible and said that God is a Trinity. What that means is that God is one in essence but three in persons. According to the Council of Nicaea, in common American modern terms, God is one what but three who: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, who have existed in relationship for all of eternity.

So watch how this math works: because God is one what but three who—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—God has existed in relationship. Actually, God Himself is relationship for all of eternity, and you are created in the image of a relational God. You were designed for relationship! What this means is that if you try to live an isolated life apart from relationship, God says it’s not good because you’re rebelling against the nature of the one in whose image you were created.

Now, this leads to an inviolable law of human existence. If you’re new here, I’m just going right at it today. There’s a law; nobody beats this law. You can’t beat this law! To try to beat this law is to rebel against the nature and grain of the universe. Here’s the law: the quality of your life will always be determined by the quality of your relationships. It’s not determined by sex, status, or stuff. Ultimately, when you get down to the end of the day—on your deathbed—I’ve been at deathbeds. As a pastor, what no one says on their deathbed is «Bring me my diplomas.» Nobody says, «Bring me my gun collection.» Nobody says, «Go get the Pete Rose rookie card; I just want to see it one last time.» Nobody says, «Go get my sports car and drive it up through the window; I want one last peek.» What everybody says on their deathbed is, «Bring me the people that I love.» Why? Because the quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships.

Sociological Confirmation
Now, that’s theology. Let’s do sociology; let’s go a layer deeper. I love it when sociology affirms and confirms our theology. There’s a mountain of evidence coming out from secular sociologists that are confirming this biblical principle. I’m going to riff off a couple of them really quick.

There was a Harvard study done by a guy named Robert Putnam, and here’s what it found: if you belong to no social groups—so you’re an isolated person outside of a relationship—but then you decide to join one, you cut your risk of dying in the next year in half! Some of you guys with ages that start with like six, seven, or eight, you’ve got a decision to make this week—that’s what needs to happen! Okay, six is a little early; sorry, I apologize for that—that’s tough.

Okay, another study said this: «Group-connected people"—listen closely; I’m going to get a little wordy—"group-connected people, people with good relationships,» and «group-connected people with unhealthy habits like smoking, poor diet, or heavy drinking consistently outlive disconnected people with otherwise healthy lifestyle habits.» So if you have deep relationships but bad health habits, you actually beat the dude that’s isolated from relationships but has healthy lifestyle habits.

Now, what about marriage? How does this apply? A Duke University sociologist did a study on marriage, and here’s what he found: whether wives feel satisfied with the sex, romance, and passion in their marriage is 70% dependent on the quality of the couple’s friendship. Now, some of you might say, «Well, that’s women, and women are so relational, and men are different.» The same study found that whether men are satisfied with the sex, romance, and passion in their marriage is also 70% dependent on the quality of their friendship. Turns out that a good marriage really is friends with benefits—that’s what that means.

Okay, now let’s talk about age: how does it affect age? There was this Harvard study that found the single best predictor of health and happiness at age 80—not wealth, not professional success—is your relationships. At age 50, all of these things boil down to this one principle from the Bible: the quality of your life is going to be determined by the quality of your relationships.

Addressing Men and Isolation
Now, I felt led by the Spirit to step into something a little sensitive, but I need to do this because I want to be obedient. I need to address the men in the room right now. I’m getting ready to make some gender generalizations; I’m going to do that for two reasons: one, because the Bible sometimes does that, and two, because the people of Lake Pointe are not pansies, so we can handle me making some gender generalizations, right?

Okay, so let me just go here: in general—not always—women are more relational, and men are more functional. In general, this means that women tend to be more people-oriented, and men tend to be more task-oriented. Now, what this means, for a variety of reasons, is that men—let me talk to men and husbands in the room—some of you are in a situation right now where your wife is the relational driver of your marriage. You would be okay never seeing anyone, and, in fact, your life goal is to not see people.

So your wife is the one who constantly pushes and pulls teeth to try to get you to hang out with anybody while your husband is isolated from relationships. He’s lonely. Now, watch—if you do this, men and husbands, one of two things is going to happen: either you are going to look at your wife and say, «Hey, I need you to be my wife and also my entire friend group, » and, oh, by the way, she can’t because she’s your wife, not ten people. You’ll be looking at her and saying, „I need you to carry the burden—not just the relational burden of being my wife, but of being my entire friend group.“ She’s going to feel crushed by that.

Or what you’re going to do, men—I see this all the time—is actually you do have three friends. Your three friends are Jim Beam, Jack Daniels, and Jose Cuervo—those are your three friends. And when you get lonely, it’s like, „Let me go hang out with my three friends.“ Well, men, you just need to know this: when a husband is isolated relationally, there’s an anxiety that rises in his wife because your isolation results in destruction.

Your wife is looking at you, and she has this anxiety because it’s like, „Bro, my husband is melting down; he’s spiraling out of control.“ The anxiety in her is—watch this, another generalization—the Bible says that in general God created women as the weaker vessel. Your wife is looking at you, and here’s her anxiety: „My husband’s not doing well; he’s melting down, he’s spiraling out of control.“ But watch this, she’s scared to talk to you about it because you’re bigger than her, stronger than her, meaner than her, and louder than her, and, in her mind, she’s saying, „Man, if I talk to him about this, he may blow up on me.“

Men and husbands, there is peace that settles into the soul of a wife when her husband is surrounded by strong, godly men who will call out the best in him and call him back when the worst comes out. Your wife needs that! Paul said he doesn’t need that, he’s different; he’s tough; he doesn’t need that.

Okay, hey, don’t try to be tougher than Jesus! Don’t try to be tougher than Jesus! Jesus willingly hung on a cross, had nails driven through his wrists and ankles, bled out willingly when he could have left. Jesus was pretty tough. Do you know what he did as soon as he was given a mission? The Holy Spirit! Jesus is baptized with the Holy Spirit; he’s given a mission, commissioned by God to literally save the world, and the first thing he does when he’s given a mission is go find some men.

That’s the first thing he does: gathers twelve men around him. You may be going, „Man, I’m more like the Lone Ranger type.“ Well, how about this? Let’s not model our life off of the Lone Ranger, but instead model our life after our surrounded Savior, who surrounded Himself with strong men because He knew, „If I’m going to fulfill a mission, I’m gonna need some men.“ You’re going to need that!

So listen, can we do that? Do we get that? Does that make sense? Your wives are needing you to step into this now.

Satan's Attack on Relationships
Let me just talk really quick right now about what’s happening and how this works. Some of you will hear what I just said, and your impulse will be, „I just need to rush into relationships, » and because of like a foolhardy zeal, you will actually rush into relationships that will not be good for you.

Let me point something else out about Genesis: have you ever noticed this? Satan leaves Adam alone as long as he is alone. Satan never enters the picture until the woman is created. As soon as there’s a relationship, then comes Satan. Here’s the principle: first comes the wedding, then comes the war. So what happens is Satan does this for two reasons: one, Satan hates the family because the family was designed by God to transfer faith from generation to generation to generation. But number two, Satan knows that if he can attack relationships, he’ll cut off the primary conduit of the work of God in people’s lives.

So you will notice this: as soon as you move toward relationships with other godly Christians, Satan will attack those things, and here’s how he’ll do it: he’ll try to confuse you about which relationships you should pursue.

Three Types of People from Proverbs
Now, check this out, this is really important. I call this „a stupid thing that smart Christians believe.“ Here we go: this is a stupid thing that smart Christians believe: Christians will say this—they’ll especially say it to their children. Never ever say this to your children because you’re teaching them something very harmful: they’ll say, „Oh hey, we need to treat all people the same. We need to treat all people equally because people are people.“ Wrong! Do not pass go; do not collect $200. We don’t treat people the same because people are not the same! We treat people according to their character.

So check this out: if you’re like, some of you may not know this doesn’t sound right, Josh; I’ll show you in just a second. Here’s what I would never say to my son, Hudson. I’ve got a four-year-old son, Hudson. Do you know what I wouldn’t say? If Hudson had three animals in front of him— a puppy, a snake, and a chupacabra—I would not say to Hudson, „Hey buddy, treat all those animals the same because animals are animals.“ No, you’re going to pet one, draw a boundary with another, and shoot the third! That’s what’s going to happen!

No, no, you don’t treat people the same; you treat people according to their character. Now, some of you are like, „Ah, that sounds judgy—it doesn’t sound very well.“ Let me show you how Jesus did this. This is from the Book of John. Watch this!

But you say the yellow word out loud for me, but Jesus didn’t trust them. He didn’t trust them! Jesus didn’t trust them because He knew all about people. Nobody needed to tell him about human nature because He knew what was in each person’s heart. So watch this: do we love everybody? Yes! Do we trust everybody? No! We give love to people because we have been filled by the Spirit of God, and they’ve been created in the image of God. So yes, we love everybody. Do we trust everybody? Nope! Love is given; trust is earned according to Jesus—this is what we see right here.

Now check this out: here’s why I got to say this. Again, I’m going to step into some sensitive things in your life, in your family’s life. I’m doing it because I love you. Here’s why I say this: I say this in part because some of you are very naive. Here’s what I mean—naive people are people whose default mode is to trust everyone they meet. You automatically lend them all trust. „I’m sure they’re awesome!“ You believe the best in everybody! Whenever anybody has a moral issue or you see somebody make a mistake or they betray you or your trust, you’re the type of person who says, „Oh, let’s give them another chance. I’m sure that’s not who they are.“ You’re the person who walks into the living room and says to your husband, „Babe, I just checked the email, and there’s this Nigerian prince that needs help.“ It’s just kind of your thing—you automatically trust everybody!

Okay, that’s naive people. Now some of you are the exact opposite. Some of you aren’t naive people; you’re paranoid people. Your default mode isn’t trust; it’s suspicion. Your life motto for everybody you meet is, „Guilty until proven innocent.“ That’s your life motto. It doesn’t matter what someone does—you could have a kid walk in the room with a dislocated shoulder and a compound fracture, blood everywhere. „Daddy, I need help!“ And you’d be like, „What’s your angle? What do you want from me?“

Do you want me to tell you how to tell who the paranoid people are? They’re all the guys who only sit on the ends of the rows. Those are paranoid people. You’ll only see them sitting at the end of the row. Some of you right now are paranoid because I’ve pointed out that you’ll only sit on the ends of the rows, and these are also the guys who bring a firearm with him every week. Every week, you’ve got to be extremely paranoid because you’re like, „How did he know I sit on the ends of the rows?“

I’m literally seeing spouses doing this right now. „How did he know I only sit on the ends of the rows and I always have a firearm?“ I just also want to say this—I think Lake Pointe Church on Sunday morning is the safest place in America. Let me just say this: bro, if somebody tries to cause a problem in here, we’ll send them to meet Jesus—that’s a joke! That’s a joke!

So some people are naive; they trust everybody. Some are paranoid; they trust nobody. Watch this: we don’t want to be naive; we don’t want to be paranoid; we want to be discerning people who trust the right people.

Now what I’m getting ready to show you—if you were going to take one thing and one thing only away from everything—this is the thing that, if you internalize this, it will change your life and save you from more pain, and bring you towards more blessing than almost anything I can teach you. Heads up! The younger you are, the more you need this. Heads up again: if you’re not married and you want to be married, what we’re getting ready to teach you from the book of Proverbs might be the most important thing you can get.

Okay, so check this out: the Book of Proverbs says that there are three types of people: wise people, foolish people, and evil people. Again, I’ve heard it taught this way; it’s very helpful: wise people, foolish people, and evil people. Now, a fun little assignment: there are 31 chapters in the Book of Proverbs—one for every day of the month. What you could do, a fun little assignment, is you could read one chapter of Proverbs per day for a month. Have three highlighters with you, and every time it talks about a wise person, highlight it one color; a foolish person another color; and an evil person, or a wicked person, another color, and you’ll finish with an incredible aggregation of wisdom in a month!

But watch this: three types of people: wise, foolish, and evil. Number one: wise people in the Bible are represented by shepherds. Shepherds. Now, I’m not saying they’re the smartest people; knowledge comes from school, but wisdom comes from the Spirit. The Bible says this about wise people: „The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.“ Do you know how to know if somebody’s wise? They know how the word of God applies to a situation and they have the humility to submit themselves to it because they live in the fear of God. So a wise person is somebody who knows Jesus, loves Jesus, obeys Jesus, gives their life to Jesus; they love the people of God, love the word of God, and live their life for the purposes of God.

Here’s how you know somebody is wise: just like shepherds take responsibility for flocks and not just themselves, wise people are people who are like, „Man, I love people, and I have a desire to help and serve people.“ Not always, but a lot of times—like the shepherds in the body—they’re like life group leaders; they’re the people who are like, „Yep, I want to help other people steward themselves toward the blessing of God.“ These are wise people.

Now check this out: most people are not wise people. The second category is foolish people. In the Bible, foolish people are represented as sheep. How many of y’all know sheep are kind of stupid? They are, man! Now let me just say this about foolish people: this is all of us sometimes. Everybody does dumb things! How many of you have ever done a dumb thing?

Okay, if you didn’t put your hand up just now, that was a dumb thing to do—that was a dumb thing! Everybody knows we’ve all done some dumb things! Now here’s the thing about foolish people: it’s not that they’re not smart; it’s that they’re irresponsible. And here’s the thing about foolish people: they’re usually irresponsible people looking for over-responsible people who will take care of all their problems created by their irresponsibility.

So there are two types of people in the world. You’ll notice this: there are people who are burden givers and people who are burden lifters. Burden lifters are people who, when you see them coming, you’re like, „Oh yeah! Man, I love when he’s around! I love when she’s here! She helps me solve problems, she prays for me; she just has such wisdom! She’ll jump in the fire with me, kind of help me out.“ That’s a burden lifter.

Burden givers are people who, when you see them, you’re like, „Oh no!“ It’s like, „Dude, what’s going to happen?“ You’re like, „No, no, no, no!“ Because you know all they do is they walk into your life, vomit all of their problems, and then walk away. It’s like, „Dude, here’s all my— I need you to solve all my problems that I can’t solve myself!“ These are foolish people!

Now watch this: wise people make plans; foolish people make excuses. You’ll notice this: wise people make plans; foolish people make excuses. Now, spiritual foolish people—and listen, a lot of Christians are still in that foolish stage. They’re still growing in knowledge and fear of the Lord. Spiritual foolish people are great at denying reality. So it’s like, „Hey man, yes, we want to believe in Jesus, but we also want to believe in math; let’s do both!“

So a spiritual foolish person will look at an empty bank account, and they’ll be like, „It’s going to be okay because I believe in Jesus.“ It’s like, „Yeah, but let’s also believe in math! How about a budget? That would be awesome, too!“ Or they’ll step on the scale and can’t see it. „I’m going to be okay! Well, hey, let’s get a plan. What we can do is we could get a plan!“

Now what you’re going to notice about foolish people is a lot of times they’re awesome! Foolish people are a lot of times good-hearted people with naive heads. They love Jesus, but they’re still figuring it out. They just haven’t quite figured out how to walk with God and apply His word in wise ways.

This is a lot of times the person who loves Jesus, but they’re still just kind of figuring it out. I’m going to use a word here in a second that I typically don’t use in a sermon, but you’ll see why—just give me grace here. I love the dudes that I meet whose first interaction is like, „Oh man, you are not a church guy! I love it!“ So my favorite compliment to receive out in the lobby is from these „Hell of a Talk“ guys. They walk up, shake my hand, and they don’t even know the word „sermon”—they just walk up and say, „Hell of a talk, man! That’s a hell of a talk!“ I call them „Hell of a Talk“ guys.

I love those guys! These are the guys who, like, true story, used the F-word in their salvation prayer with me in the lobby. This is an example of this! These are the people who, literally—true story—put bags of weed in the offering buckets when they come by at some of our campuses. So then everybody for the rest of the row has a decision to make: puff or pass. They’ve got to make that decision; I don’t know!

You know, many of these people love Jesus, and they’re still figuring it out! Still figuring it out! Now some of you right now are going, „I don’t like that that stuff’s in here.“ Okay, but can I just say, Jesus loves that those people are in here because the healthy have no need of a doctor; but the sick, I didn’t come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance—Jesus said that.

Now the third category of people you’ve got to be aware of is evil people. Evil people in the Bible are represented by this animal (picture of a wolf). That’s a joke! I get that joke in once a year; it’s my favorite one of all year! That’s a joke! Actually, evil people in the Bible are represented by wolves. The Bible calls them wolves.

Here’s how you know that someone is an evil person—they oppose the things of God. They do things like call the truth hate because the truth sounds like hate to those who hate truth. Evil people are intentionally dangerous. They use their energy to create injury. Wise people live by the Spirit; foolish people live by the flesh; evil people are empowered and live by the demonic.

Honestly, these are people who experienced trauma or abuse in the past, but instead of bringing it to Jesus and laying it down at His feet for forgiveness and freedom, they held on to bitterness. A root of bitterness grew, and they gave the devil a foothold. Now they believe they have a right to hurt others because they were hurt. They believe they have a right to torment others because they were tormented. This is what demons do: demons torment! So people who are animated by them do the tormenting.

If you ever feel like, „Man, I just feel tormented by this person, ” very often, this is actually what’s happening. Now here’s why I point this out: because some of you— I love you so much—but you’re still naive people, and you say things like this when you’re choosing relationships in your life. You say things like, „Go where you’re celebrated, not where you’re tolerated.“ You say things like, „I want friends who will cheer me on.“

Can I just say something to you, hey? Friends who will cheer you on all the way to hell are not your friends; they’re not actually your friends! And listen, some of you are like, „Yeah, yeah, Josh, there you go!“ They’re like, „Yeah, yeah, Josh, but they’re believers, they go to church, they say they’re Christians.“

Well remember, Jesus said evil people are like wolves in sheep’s clothing! So in the same way that Satan masquerades as an angel of light, evil people masquerade as foolish or wise people. So listen to me: just because they say they’re believers doesn’t mean you should believe them. Don’t listen to what they say; don’t watch how they make you feel; watch what they do!

Do they live like self-giving disciples of Jesus who are full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control? Are they those types of people?

How to Relate to Each Type
Now, I say all that to get here: you must learn to relate to the different types of people differently. So here’s what the Bible says: with wise people, you want to have personal relationships. Let me just say this: wise people are rare. Wise people are rare! When you find a Jesus-wise person, you expend time, money, and energy to get as close to them as you can and stay close to them. Anything you can do—I’m going to get as close to you as possible. Close enough that I can see how you live your life: How do you think? How do you talk? How do you do marriage? How do you do parenting?

Some of you right now— I didn’t say this in any other service, but I just feel like I need to say it right now—if your age begins with a five or higher, would you raise your hand right now? Keep them up! (People raise their hands). Okay, hey everybody—if you’re not raising your hand, everything that you need in your heart and life is in the hearts and lives of the people with their hands up. Put your hands down right now!

Listen, here’s what I mean: this isn’t always true. There are older foolish and evil people, but in general, the longer somebody walks with Jesus, the more wisdom they accrue. So what some of you need to do—if you’re struggling in your marriage and you’re younger—what you need to do is find somebody whose hand was just up. They walk in every week; they’re holding hands with their spouse; they’re a little lovey-dovey. You can just tell, „Man, they’re consistent; there’s affection for each other.“ You need to grab them after a service and say, „Hi, my name is Josh; we are bad at marriage, and you seem good at marriage. Could we buy lunch for you and talk to you?“

Listen, I’m just so tired of all this. If you’re like my generation and down, all the wisdom you need—listen, it’s not on TikTok and Instagram; it’s not there! Listen, all the people with the wisdom you need—you know what? They’re too old to care about TikTok and Instagram.

So this is what the body of Christ is designed to do! You don’t have everything you need—that’s a lie! We have everything that you need, and the wisdom that you need is in other people’s lives! All that was free; I didn’t even mean to go there!

When you find a wise person, you do everything you can to get tight with them in a personal relationship. Now let me keep going: foolish people, you need to have a pastoral relationship. When somebody wanders into sin, we’re not supposed to cut them off; guys, Jesus was a friend of tax collectors and sinners! We maintain a relationship, but it’s a pastoral relationship. „I love you, I’ll pray for you, I’ll bless you, I’ll send you the gift card, I’ll walk with you through this hard time, I’ll disciple you; come be in my life group; let’s talk about life.“

But watch this: it’s a one-way relationship of influence—not two-way! You influence them; they don’t influence you. You maintain a pastoral relationship. Now check this out: this is the hardest one.

With evil people, they need a professional relationship. What this means is that this is by far the hardest one. They are not beyond help; they are beyond your help. They need a professional! They need Jesus—a treatment center, a counselor, a judge; some of them need a jail cell.

They need professional help. Yeah, Josh, but God can help anybody—yeah, but you can’t! Yeah, but you can’t! Evil people, they’re not beyond— that’s it! Evil people are not beyond help; they’re beyond your help. Paul was an evil person who couldn’t be helped. God knocks him off his horse and changes him into a great missionary. He wasn’t beyond God’s help; he was beyond other people’s help!

Now, this is a spot I’m going to crawl up in a sensitive thing again. This is the last time I promise! Some of you, here’s a spot you’re in. The hardest thing—felt led by the Spirit to say this this week—the hardest thing is when you have an immediate or close family member who is foolish or evil. And when that happens, they are a person who makes everybody uncomfortable; they cross every boundary. They’re belligerent; sometimes they’re very harmful—they make your kids uncomfortable.

Then what will happen is your whole family gathers around you to try to pressure you into making them the exception to how God’s word says you should relate to people in those categories. That gets really, really uncomfortable!

So here’s what happens: you’ve got like a father-in-law who’s a foolish or evil dude. He doesn’t respect anybody’s boundaries—he’s always getting in your business; he’s overbearing, makes everybody uncomfortable. Sometimes he’s actually harmful, and your family’s like, „Yeah, but he’s Dad! Yeah, but he’s family! We need to be spending lots of time! The kids need to spend time with Papa!“

Okay, well, hey, check this out! What Genesis—especially talking to men right now—what the Book of Genesis says is that when you married your wife, what you did was you „left your father and mother.“ You cleave—leave and cleave—you cleave to your wife!

So you left that family and you started your own family. So if you ever get to a spot where you have to draw a boundary between your old family and your new family to protect your new family, you stand up, act like a man, and you do it! See, this is what God is— you have to have the wisdom to be able to do these things!

Unequally Yoked: 2 Corinthians 6
Now let’s land the plane right here. I’ve had too much fun in this service, okay? Now here’s why I’m saying all this: this all drives to this! I told you last week I was going to preach this verse this week, and I’m gonna give it to you right here! This is from 2 Corinthians. Now you tell me, I’m going to point at this—2 Corinthians was written to Christians in the city Corinth.

In the same way that in modern America, there are some areas that are more conservative and some areas that are more progressive—in ancient Rome, there were more progressive and more conservative areas. Corinth was like downtown Portland—the progressive capital of Rome. It was a college town; everybody was young and educated and single. They were all waking up at the crack of noon, drinking mimosas, getting drunk, trying to get lucky, making up pronouns; they were all talking about moving to Austin! This was all of Corinth!

Now it’s really interesting that this is the city where Paul gives his most clear, direct, and assertive commands to Christians about how they should and shouldn’t do their relationships. Hey, heads up, Lake Pointe family! If you haven’t figured this out, in modern America you live in Corinth!

So there’s a reason that God gave—He gives this command into this culture, and watch what He says: „Don’t be yoked together with who?“ With unbelievers! „For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?“ Now remember, it’s okay to have pastoral relationships! Yes, of course, we’re on mission; we want unbelievers in our lives, but we don’t want to be yoked to them!

I’ll explain what that means, okay? And then he says, „What harmony is there between Christ and Satan? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols?“

Here’s what Paul’s saying! Check this out! What he’s saying is, „Man, there are two different types of people on this earth.“ Okay? There are some people—let me just go ahead and do both of them—there are some people who what they are is—he goes, „Hey, two categories, look at your life—there’s unbelievers who love righteousness; they’re moving toward darkness. You know that their lives are cursed.“

By the way, God has a plan to bless your life; Satan has a plan to curse your life, and ultimately, you get to decide which plan you’re on. The greatest determining factor in which plan you’re on is the people you choose to be close to! That’s what that verse is saying! It’s like unbelievers=unrighteousness=darkness=curse=Satan= idols.

And then there are some other people who—here’s who they are: they’re believers—they’re moving towards righteousness; they’re people of light; they bring blessing; they push you towards Jesus—they’re people who love the church!

Now watch this: when he uses the word yoke, a yoke was something that chained two things together. A yoke was a chain! Paul is saying, „When you do relationships, you’re actually building chains!“

Now here’s how this works: you can work this for you or against you; here’s how it works: when you make a choice to consistently hang out with somebody, that choice turns into a relationship. Over time, if you maintain that relationship, that relationship influences you—next chain link!

Oh, by the way, what we know is that the two core needs of the human heart are to belong and to matter. If you surround yourself with whoever you surround yourself with, you actually need them to meet one of your core needs!

So this influence eventually becomes a need, and needs function like chains! What Paul is saying is, with your relationships, choices become chains! So watch this: when you’re choosing who to hang out with, he’s saying, „Man, you’re going, ‘Oh man, it’s no big deal. Dude, we’re just going to movies; we’re just hanging out; you know, it’s just Friday night—nothing! This is a big deal! I’m just hanging out with them; they’re not going to influence me.’“ Paul’s like, „Are you crazy? Yes, you are!“

He’s going, „Every deep relationship—this is a chain!“ So here’s what will happen: you think you’re just hanging out when you’re actually attaching a chain to something. And Paul’s going, „If you yoke yourself to unbelievers, unrighteousness, darkness, curse, Satan, and idols, then what will happen is you may right now be at a point in your life where you’ve been coming to Lake Pointe for five or six weeks, and here’s what’s happened: you’ve crossed the line of faith! God’s given you a new heart—a new identity, new eternity, new Savior, new destiny—but you can’t get there! You’re trying but can’t get there! Why? Because you’re trying to live a new life, but you’re chained to old relationships. You are yoked to something that will not allow you to get over there!

So every time you start trying to live this life, all your relationships are like, „Oh, don’t do that! Oh, yeah, it’s fine if you do that! You be you! Go where you’re celebrated, not where you’re tolerated; those people are so judgy.“ All the things: „Hey, come back!“

And so you’re trying to go over here, but your relationships are pulling you back here! Listen to me: you cannot live the right life with the wrong friendships! You can’t do it! That’s 2 Corinthians 6.

Now here’s the awesome part—good news! That sounded heavy; good news! Paul’s saying you can actually hack this principle and work it backwards. Because Paul’s going, „If you choose relationships with the people of God, you’re not just hanging out; you’re yoking and chaining yourself to, watch this: righteousness, light, blessing, Christ, and the church.

Even when you have moments in your life where temptation and flesh rise, and you try to go back over here, what happens? You hacked the system! And now all your relationships—you can’t go over there because all your relationships are pulling you back to Jesus!“

Hey, Lake Pointe Church, that’s right! Choose this day whom you will be with—choose your chains! Choose your chains! That’s the chain that you want!

Now last thing I’m going to say: if you cut yourself off from the people of God, you cut yourself off from the supernatural work of God because the supernatural power of God flows through the people of God! It flows through the people of God!

Testimony of a Couple
I want you to see the power of this through the story of a couple in our church. Check this out with me.

„I think we always knew we wanted to have a family. We were in a life group; we had friends, we had routine, and we just decided, ‘It’s time! Let’s start our family! ’ Most people don’t get pregnant on their first month; every month that goes by, you just lose a little bit of that hope.

There is no pain like having to be around all your friends and feel like you can’t be genuine. As our friends got pregnant, it was the epitome of ‘I’m so happy for you, and I’m heartbroken for me.’ It doesn’t really hit until you get home. All those dreams that we talked about when we were dating and engaged, I thought, ‘I don’t think we’re ever going to have that.’

While we’re walking through infertility, your life keeps moving. Jordan got a new job; we built a house; we moved locations. And we still kept driving to Rockwall for our life group for months—like six months—after we built the house! Because the farther you get into your infertility journey, the more alone you feel. The more the devil tries to isolate you, and you start feeling in your heart, ‘Are we really going to drive 45 minutes? ’

We started asking God, ‘What’s next? ’ And they had been talking about North Dallas, and we heard Josh’s New Year sermon at home about how, you know, ‘God’s going to do a new thing, and are you open to it? ’ From the moment we walked in the door, it just felt like home! I had about this much to give left in my life!

When I found out about home groups, it was just in your home meeting with people that you know, talking through the lesson. That was something I could do, and that was something I could commit to! Before the first week, when we decided to be very vulnerable, Kate and I talked about, ‘Well, we’re going to put everything on the table.’

Things could get really weird, and I was blown away with how receptive our group was. We started that group, and the very next month, we were six weeks in our home group, and we got pregnant! It wasn’t until a couple of weeks later that we found out we had twins.

It was 31 weeks, and I just feel my water break. I immediately start crying, and I’m like, ‘We’ve got to go to the hospital now! ’ And you just say, ‘God, no! God, please, please! ’ They’re 31 weeks! They wheel me off, and the doctor says, ‘They’re stable right now, but I think you’re having a placental abruption, which is fatal to them and to me.’

Then they put me to sleep, and it is only by God’s goodness that I am alive today and that my children are alive today! There was one member of our group who God woke him up at 2:25 in the morning, right when Kate got wheeled out, and said, ‘You need to pray for her life! ’ And he did.

There is nothing more supportive of our group than the power of prayer because anybody can bring food, and they did; people can bring support, and they did; but our group prays, and we believe in the power of prayer, and we believe in the gifts of the Spirit! We believe that if you ask, God listens!

Through infertility, it was the hardest, most dark, deep suffering and pain we’d ever felt in our lives. The most amount of loneliness and dependence on God. But He is good, and His plan is better, and we are where we are today because God is good! We’re here! And this is how Jesus changed our lives!“

Amen! Amen! Amen!