John Bevere - Escaping The Trap (09/10/2025)
I just can’t believe we’re already on session five—it’s just flying by! Can I say again that you guys are the most amazing friends who could come together for this? I thank you so much for your hunger and your love for God. This session, I’m going to call it «Escaping the Trap,» and we all know what that trap is: the trap of being offended. Remember, Jesus said in Luke 17, verse 1, «It is impossible that offenses will not come.» If you drink water or breathe air, you will have the opportunity to be offended. Just remember, what you do with the offense determines your future. Either you become stronger or you become bitter; there’s no in between. Just remember this: whenever you encounter offense, you will come out of it changed. You want to come out of it as a stronger believer, not as someone who is embittered.
Some of you may be sitting there watching this right now, either with your group or by yourself, and you’re thinking, «But John, you just don’t know what they did to me.» How many of you have heard someone say that? How many of you have even said that? Don’t raise your hands! Now, what I say to someone who says that is, «No, you don’t know what you did to Jesus.» An offended Christian is a Christian who has forgotten what they have been forgiven of. A person who cannot forgive is someone who has forgotten or never realized what they’ve been forgiven of. If we go to Matthew 18, the entire chapter is about offenses, but there is one particular point where Jesus is talking to His twelve apostles. And how many of you know that the apostles were always jockeying for who’s going to be the greatest, right? I mean, Peter’s already two notches up on all of them because he walked on the water, and he got to go to the Mount of Transfiguration. He’s the one who said, «You are the Christ, the Son of the living God,» so on some of them, he’s actually three notches up.
Peter thinks as big as he can, and he wants to be magnanimous, right? Jesus has been talking all about forgiveness throughout His ministry, right from the very beginning, starting with the Sermon on the Mount. So, Peter says, «Okay, you’ve got to remember these disciples were raised under the law. The law says, 'Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.' You kill my dog, I get to kill your dog. You punch me in the mouth, I get to punch you in the mouth.» So Peter goes as big as he can grasp, and he says, «Jesus, if my brother wrongs me seven times and I forgive him, that’s enough, right?» Peter is expecting Jesus to look at him and say, «Peter, blessed are you. Flesh and blood did not reveal this to you.»
But Jesus looks back at Peter and says, «Peter, not seven times but seventy times seven.» In Luke’s Gospel, He adds, «In one day.» For you to sin against me seven or four hundred and ninety times in one day means you would have to sin against me once every three minutes, provided you and I don’t sleep! Now, I don’t know anybody that can sin that well. What Jesus is saying is this: «Peter, your forgiveness is to be just like your heavenly Father’s—exhaustible.» Then He says, «I’ve got to tell these guys a story to make the point.»
So He says, «Alright, there’s this great kingdom, and there’s a big king with many servants who owe him. There was one who was brought to him who owed ten thousand talents.» Now you may ask, «What in the world is a talent?» A talent is not a measure of money; it’s a measure of weight. A talent is how much a man could carry, and the most Bible experts believe that a talent was 75 pounds. This servant owes the king 750,000 pounds of what? Well, it’s a debt, so we can safely assume it’s either gold or silver, as that was the medium of exchange. Let’s assume it’s gold. Gold is roughly twelve hundred dollars an ounce. Do you know what 750,000 pounds of gold adds up to? Fourteen point five billion dollars!
Now, how many of you would call that an unpayable debt? Can I see your hands? If not, I want to talk to you about reaching the nations! What Jesus is immediately doing is likening this king to God the Father because we were forgiven of an unpayable debt, right? When Jesus hung on Calvary, the Bible says in Colossians chapter 3 that He took the handwriting of ordinances that was against us—some translations say the note of debt—and He nailed it to the Cross. He literally paid the unpayable debt for us. Are you with me? This is why I say a person who cannot forgive is someone who has forgotten what they have been forgiven of.
You know, we were forgiven of this unpayable debt. You have to remember: our just reward—what we deserved—was to burn in hell forever and ever. That’s what we deserved! When Adam sinned against God, God the Father could have said to the Son, «They disobeyed me, they sinned against me; let them go to hell and burn forever. Let’s go create another universe and create someone who really loves us.» Jesus came and died for us, and we have to remember what He gave His life for. He got us out of what we deserved, and we deserved to burn in hell forever.
So what I find is the problem today with many Christians who have trouble forgiving is that we’ve categorized sins. Do you understand what I’m saying? We have the big ones—murder, stealing, witchcraft, adultery—and then we have what we call weaknesses: unforgiveness, strife, gossip—right, weaknesses? But you know what I find amazing? Proverbs chapter 6 says, «These six things the Lord hates, and the seventh is an abomination to Him.» Do you know that adultery is not on that list? Now, am I justifying adultery? No! Those who practice such will not inherit the Kingdom of God. I’m not justifying adultery, but what’s amazing to me is that the seventh one on the list that God calls an abomination is those who sow discord among brethren.
So you know what I like to say? Treat gossip the way you treat adultery, and you’ll probably get delivered. Treat unforgiveness the way you treat murder, and you’ll probably get free. But when you see it as a weakness, you won’t deal with it. Unforgiveness is not a weakness; it is a sin, and Jesus died for that sin just as much as He died for adultery or murder or any other sexual sin or any other sin at all.
I remember when God really revealed this to me. I was living in Orlando, Florida, many years ago. Lisa and I were newly married, and I think Addison was about six and Austin about four. I was working out in a gym, and I remember hearing on the radio day after day about this father who got a little angry with his baby child. He turned on the oven and boiled the broiler, took the oven rack out nice and red, and started bouncing this girl on it, giving her second and third degree burns all over her body. She was 18 months old. The guys in the gym wanted to kill this guy; we were all infuriated.
Now, as horrific as that is—and to be honest with you, the worst sin that I can think of that we could do to one another is child abuse—I can’t think of anything worse. So that’s why I’m bringing this example up. As horrific as that was, it is nothing compared to burning in hell forever, where the worm will never stop eating, the fire will never be quenched, and there will be anguish and torment of soul day and night forever and ever. Yet that’s what I deserved. That’s what you deserve. So as horrific as what that man did was, it is nothing compared to what we did to Jesus. That’s how great His love was for us; that’s how great His forgiveness is for us. It’s so important that we understand.
That’s why I say a person who cannot forgive is someone who has forgotten what they have been forgiven of. I think about our inability to reach people, and I believe it’s because we’ve lost sight of the fact that sin is sin. I remember Billy Graham saying, «A little rock will go to the bottom of the lake just as much as a big rock will.» What we consider to be a little sin will sink just as quickly as we consider a big sin.
I remember preaching in a church in a community of about 2,000 people years ago. The pastor said to me, «You know, we went out after service, we did the evangelist-pastor thing, went out for dinner.» It was late at night, which I usually don’t prefer, but I did that night because I wanted to spend time with the pastor. I had just flown in that afternoon and was flying out the next morning. The pastor said, «Man, I’m really going through it.» I said, «Oh really? What’s going on?» He said, «I’m getting a lot of persecution from the city.» I said, «Really, what’s going on?»
He said, «Well, I’ve told everybody in my congregation that if there’s a homosexual who works for an institution, boycott that institution.» In other words, if there’s a waiter who is homosexual or a clerk in the store, don’t shop there. I looked at the pastor and said, «Oh, so why don’t we tell everybody not to shop where a guy who looks at pornography or a guy who lied to his wife or someone who disrespected their parents works? Your people aren’t going to be able to go anywhere.» He got a little upset, but I was furious. I was like, «Why have you singled this out as the big sin?» That’s what I’m talking about in terms of categorizing sins.
You know what’s really interesting? Six months later, I was in a church where we had a move of God that lasted a whole week. It was only supposed to be a couple of nights; this was back about 15 years when I used to stay longer. We ended up going for all week. During that week, a guy came up to me at the end of a service. Everyone was talking, fellowshipping, and walking out. The church was packed, and the guy said, «Would you pray for me?» I said, «Sure.»
When I prayed for him, the presence of God hit him so strong that I didn’t even get to say goodbye to him—he was so touched! A month later, I get a call in my office, and it’s this guy. He said, «Hey, my name is J.R., and you probably don’t remember me,» and I said, «Oh yeah, I remember you! You came up to me in Alabama on the second night of the last service and asked me to pray for you.» He said, «Yeah, you do remember me.»
He continued, «If you only knew about my life.» I said, «Tell me about your life.» He went off on a tangent for another 10 minutes and then said, «If you just knew about my life.» I said, «Hey J.R., stop right there. Tell me about your life, or we’re not going further on this phone call.» He replied, «I’m a homosexual.» I said, «I know.» He said, «You do?» I said, «Yeah, I knew when I prayed for you.» He said, «What do you think, pervert?» and I said, «No, J.R. Let me tell you something. I was a successful young man. I was on the Dean’s List at Purdue, I played varsity tennis, I was a 'sorority boy' who loved girls, but I was bound by pornography. You know what? I didn’t know Jesus. I was headed straight to hell, and I would have burned right next to you had Jesus not saved me.»
He was in shock, and I began to share the Gospel with him. He started listening, and you know what? I prayed with him to be saved and to be delivered from homosexuality, and he got saved right on that phone call!
So the pastor of that Alabama church came to Orlando, where we lived at the time, and played golf with me about six months later. During the game, the pastor said, «John, do you remember that guy J.R.?» I said, «Oh yeah, he called my office six months ago, and I prayed for him to be saved and delivered from homosexuality.» He said, «Did he? John, this guy is on fire! He sits in the front row; he’s bringing the prostitutes, the pimps, and the homosexuals from all over the city, and they’re getting saved like crazy in my church!» I said, «Oh man, that’s so great to hear!»
See, that’s the thing: we’ve got to remember that sin is sin, and Jesus gave His life for us to be free from sin, which includes unforgiveness. Can you say «Amen»?
So what happens? This guy, forgiven of the unpayable debt—the fourteen point five billion dollar debt—goes out and finds a fellow servant who owes him one hundred denarii. Now, what is a denarius? A denarius is one day’s wage. So, 100 denarii would be about one-third of a year’s salary, right? Because we work about 100 days a year when you factor in weekends and holidays. Let’s say you make thirty thousand dollars a year. If we take one-third of your salary, it would be ten thousand dollars. If someone takes that from you and doesn’t give it back, is that a little offense? Is that one of those «hey dude, don’t worry about it» moments? No, this is serious!
If someone takes from you one-third of what you make in a year—now we’re not talking about the government—this fellow brother really did him wrong, but in comparison, ten thousand dollars isn’t even a drop in the bucket compared to fourteen point five billion dollars. This again solidifies what I said: a person who cannot forgive is someone who has forgotten what they’ve been forgiven of.
So, he will not forgive or release his fellow servant, but he grabs him by the throat and puts him into prison until he pays the debt. That’s what you do when you refuse to forgive. You put someone into your prison and say, «You will pay me what I believe you owe me,» and you make yourself a judge. That’s why James says not to judge. Jesus says not to judge because you set up judgment. Now you have done this to me, and you will pay; whatever the payment is, you’ll pay. It could be a cold shoulder—that’s good enough payment—or it could be ignoring them or treating them harshly. You set up the judgment, and once that is fulfilled, then you say, «Okay, you’re forgiven.»
That’s what this guy did; he threw him into prison. When the fellow servants saw what he did, they were very upset and went to tell the king. When the king heard about it, he called for the servant and said, «You wicked servant.» Look at the word «wicked.» Notice he doesn’t say «you wicked outsider» or «you wicked heathen.» Why? This guy’s been forgiven of the unpayable debt—he’s in the Kingdom! Are you tracking with me? He says, «I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?»
The Bible doesn’t suggest; it commands us to forgive as we’ve been forgiven. Look at this: «Forgiving one another just as God through Christ has forgiven you.» He says, «You wicked servant! Shouldn’t you have had pity on your fellow servant just as I had pity on you?» Now look at this: «And his master was angry and delivered him to the torturers.»
Everybody say «torturers.» These are demonic spirits! This is why people who refuse to forgive are tormented—constantly tormented. They lay awake at night thinking about how badly they were treated or how they’ll pay back. They’re tormented. Until he should pay all that was due, that’s the unpayable debt.
I’ll let you work that one out; that one stumps people. That’s one they read real fast over. But He said, «Pay all that was due.» How many of you know that when Jesus tells parables, He always waits for somebody to come up to Him privately and say, «What’d you mean?» and gives the interpretation? This is the only parable that Jesus tells in all four Gospels. He gives the interpretation without anyone asking because what He has said is so mind-blowing that He wants to make sure these guys get it.
So here’s the interpretation: «So my heavenly Father will also do to you if each of you from his heart does not forgive his brother.» He’s talking to believers about their trespasses. You know what’s amazing? I can show you more scriptures in the New Testament that indicate a person will not be forgiven by God for refusing to forgive than I can show you for someone who murders and will not be forgiven. Talk about shouting what God shouts!
Let me show you just four of them. Whenever you stand praying—now the question is, do sinners pray as a general rule of thumb? We know immediately when He says, «Whenever you stand praying,» He’s talking to children of God. If you have anything against anyone, forgive them, that your Father in Heaven may also forgive your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in Heaven forgive your trespasses. I don’t know how clear it can be!
Now, this was spoken at the end of His three and a half years; this was spoken just one week before He was crucified. Let’s go to the beginning of His ministry. Look at this: this is Matthew 6, from the Sermon on the Mount. «For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father"—again talking to believers—"will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.» Again, He’s talking to believers. If you do not forgive, you will not be forgiven.
Look at this in Luke’s Gospel: «Forgive, and you will be forgiven.» Look at the Lord’s Prayer; we pray this in the Lord’s Prayer: «And forgive us our sins as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us.»
I want to tell you about one of my greatest heroes. I hold this man in such high esteem. Let me give you the story. In 2012, I was asked to speak at a church in California. That Sunday morning, I believe they had about 1,200 people come in. I preached the first service, and it was magnificent. The pastor, he’s Italian—a big-hearted guy, like a big teddy bear, and I just love the guy instantly!
So, after the first service, we had three services. After the first service, we were walking out, and he pointed out a man who was greeting people. He said, «See that man?» I said, «Yeah.» Then he pointed out a woman sitting back there and said, «Remember that woman?» I said, «Okay.» We walked into his office, and he said, «John, I want to share my story with you because you’re involved in this.» I said, «Okay.»
He said, «Back in 1987, I was the youth pastor for a very popular church here in the city. We had 1,500 members, which was a big deal back then, and I was married with three small children. One day, my senior pastor ran off with my wife, leaving me with our three small kids. To make matters worse, just two weeks earlier, I had buried my father. Now, my senior pastor runs off with my wife.»
He said, «Two weeks after that, the elders of the church looked at me and said, 'We’re really believing for the senior pastor to come back, so we’re going to release you because if you’re here, he won’t come back.'» Talk about sick, right? He said, «Within weeks, I was living in a friend’s garage with my three kids. I couldn’t pay rent, I was evicted, and I was living in this garage. My dad had just died, my senior pastor—who is my father in the faith—ran off with my wife, and now, I’m living in this garage with my three children.»
Over time, in 1989, he remarried. In 1991, he started a church called Hope Unlimited, and it grew tremendously. This became the church where I ministered in 2012. He said, «Now do you remember the man I pointed out to you and the woman I pointed out to you?» I said, «Yeah.» He said, «That man was my senior pastor, and that woman was my ex-wife.»
Now his son was in the office, and I said, «That’s your birth mother?» He said, «Yeah, that’s my birth mom.» I said, «Okay, you’ve got to explain this to me.» He said, «Well, John, in 1994, somebody handed me your book, *The Bait of Satan, * and I read it. God began to melt my heart. In 1997, three years after reading that book, they came to me and apologized, saying they were so sorry for what they did and asking if they could be members of my church.»
He said, «My first instinct was to say, 'There are plenty of churches in the area, ' but God spoke to me clearly. I remember His voice saying, 'You have the chance to forgive in the same way I’ve forgiven you.'» He said, «John, I’m going to spend eternity in heaven with them. I made the choice to forgive them and allow them to come to the church. They’ve been here for five years, and we just hired my ex-wife onto our accounting department. He’s one of our greeters.»
I looked at him that day and said, «You’re one of the greatest men I’ve ever met. You truly forgave the way God has forgiven you.» There’s no way you can forgive that way unless you have the love of God shed abroad in your heart because God forgave us when we never deserved it.
You have that ability in your heart; it’s not worth being bound up in the bait of Satan, the trap of offense, and holding unforgiveness, allowing roots of bitterness to continue to grow in the field of your heart. You have the ability—because the love of God is shed abroad in your heart—to forgive even when it’s not deserved.
We’ll go further into this in the next session. We’ll see you then! Taking the high road is never easy. To take this detour, you have to be intentional. Many athletes, before their cleats hit the grass, visualize how the game is going to be played. They anticipate the opposition they’re going to face and think about how they’re going to get around it. They see themselves scoring the winning touchdown. I challenge you to visualize what taking the high road looks like for you. Identify the hardships that will stand in your way and how you will navigate around them. Eventually, taking the high road will become second nature, and you will rise above the trap of offense. I want to remind you to complete steps 21 through 25 in your course guide before moving on to the next lesson.