John Bevere - Why Can't You Stop Looking at Porn - Part 1
- Watch
- Donate
Hey, welcome to lesson three on «Porn Free.» I love that! Now, most of you guys don’t know this, but there was a song back in my high school years called «Born Free.» It was very popular, and I know most of you probably don’t even know what I’m talking about—just Google it. Anyway, in this third lesson, we are going to explore the spiritual, behavioral, and psychological roots of porn addiction. We’re going to get right down to understanding what is causing this because all three apply.
First of all, I want to read from Ephesians chapter 6, verse 11. This is an amazing statement made by the Apostle Paul. He says, «Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies.» Did you hear the word «strategies»? The devil has strategies. That word is amazing; it is defined as a method. The devil has methods. Listen to this definition: «The following or pursuing of an orderly and technical procedure in the handling of a subject.» This comes from the Complete Word Study Dictionary. What the Apostle Paul is saying here is that the enemy has a very real, systematic method of trying to lead you away from God, and pornography is significant.
So if you struggle with porn or anything else for any amount of time, you can relate to the words of the Apostle Paul in Romans chapter 7, where he says, «I have discovered this principle of life; when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart, but there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me.» Can any of you relate to this? I’m almost sure you can. This will be our foundational scripture for these next couple of lessons as we talk about getting free psychologically, physically, and spiritually.
Paul is identifying someone who is under the law. He mentions a different church, which is the Corinthian Church, in 1 Corinthians 15:56. Listen to this statement: «The law gives sin its power.» Now, think about those words. The law gives sin its power. So what is empowering pornography in your life? It is the law. You might be sitting there thinking, «Wait a minute, John, you’re off in left field. I’m not under the law; I’ve never been under the law. I’m a Christian; I go to church; I’m under grace.»
Let me give you some symptoms of a person who is under the law: «I shouldn’t watch this movie because it has nudity in it. I shouldn’t stare at the girl across the room whose shorts are tight and revealing and has a ton of cleavage showing. I want to look at nude beautiful women and masturbate, but I shouldn’t because it’s a sin.» Seventy percent of the men challenged with pornography attend church. So why can’t I do it?
What am I describing to you right now? I’m describing someone who is restrained by the word of God rather than the word of God being their delight. Someone who is restricted and constricted by truth rather than truth being their delight—that is the person who is under the law.
See, you were thinking of the law of Moses, but that’s not what he means. He is talking about the law of «I have to obey God’s word» rather than «I get to obey God’s word.» There’s an amazing example of this in the Old Testament involving a guy named Balaam from the book of Numbers. He is a great prophet of the Lord.
There’s a king named Balak; he was king of Moab and Midian. Both Moab and Midian were terrified because Israel had destroyed Egypt and had camped on their plains. They thought that if Israel could destroy the most powerful nation in the world, what could they do to us? This king had a brilliant idea: he said, «I know this great prophet; whoever he blesses is blessed, and whoever he curses is cursed. I’m going to give him a huge offering and ask him to come and curse Israel for me.» So he does and sends elders to Balaam with an offering.
When they get to Balaam’s house, they make the request of the king. Listen to what Balaam says to them: «Stay here tonight,» Balaam said, «and in the morning I will tell you whatever the Lord says.» You can see he doesn’t say whatever Baal says or whatever Asherah says; he’s talking about the Lord Jehovah, whatever the Lord directs him to say. So the officials from Moab stayed with Balaam that night. God came to Balaam and asked him, «Who are these men staying with you?»
Before Balaam even prays, God comes to him and says, «Balaam, they have no covenant with Me, and they are making a request for you to curse My covenant people. Why do you even need to pray about this?» Now, let me just say that there are some things we don’t need to pray about. There are things we just don’t need to ask a counselor or pastor about; we already know from the written word of God, and you know in your heart if the Spirit of God is in you that this is ridiculous that I’m even asking this.
But God, as merciful as He is, tells Balaam, «All right, since you didn’t get the clue or didn’t want to get the clue, I will tell you what My will is in this situation.» And so God said to Balaam, «You shall not go with them.» That’s pretty clear. Number two, just in case you think of cursing them from your house, «You shall not curse the people, for they are a blessed people.»
So it’s clear. Balaam, you’re going to love the obedience of this guy, you’re going to applaud him. So Balaam rose in the morning and said to the princes of Balak, «Go back to your land, for the Lord has refused to give me permission to go with you.» Now, did you hear the word «refused»? You think, «Okay, he’s obeying God.» Listen to the word «refused.» Let me explain.
You’re a young man in sixth grade, and all your buddies in the neighborhood come knock on the door with a basketball and say, «Hey, man, let’s go play!» You run to your mom, and she asks, «Did you clean your room yet?» You reply, «No, I didn’t clean my room yet.» Then she says, «No, I don’t want you to go play basketball; you need to first do what I told you to do yesterday—clean your room.»
You go back to the front door and tell your friends, «I can’t go.» In other words, «My mom refuses to let me go.» You want to go; you would much rather play basketball, but you’re being restrained by your mom’s word. This is happening with Balaam. The Lord refuses to let me go with you, so he’s being restricted. The word of the Lord is law to him; it is restricting him, restraining him; it is not his delight.
Are you seeing this? So guess what happens? These guys go back and tell the king, and the king says, «I’ll send more money and more honorable men, more great elders in my nation.» Here come a lot more money and greater men to Balaam’s door. Why would King Balak do this?
Let me give you a scripture. Back when I was in high school, a famous stand-up comedian named Flip Wilson had one of his most famous lines: «The devil made me do it.» He acted like a woman with a wig and said, «The devil made me…» Let me clarify: he was completely wrong. The devil cannot make you do anything. My Bible says in James 1:14, «Each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed.»
Now, the devil does entice, but you cannot entice someone with what they don’t desire. If someone walked up to me with a line of cocaine and said, «Hey man, would you like this? It’s really good,» I would say, «Get out of here! I have no desire for that.» You cannot entice someone with something they don’t desire, but you can entice them with something they do desire.
The devil watches you; he’s studied your family history. He knows the weaknesses in your family. The devil knows this prophet has an unhealthy love for money, so he moves on the king’s heart to send more money. These guys come and make the request with a lot more money. Balaam answered and said to the servants of Balak, «Though Balak were to give me his house full of silver and gold, I could not"—did you hear those words? «I could not.» Not «I will not.» Again, he’s being restrained. «I could not go beyond the word of the Lord my God to do less or more.»
From the surface, you might think, «Wow, this guy’s obedient; he’s turning down all that money.» But he’s saying, «I could not.» In other words, again, I’m under the law; I’m being restrained. Then look at the very next verse: «Now, therefore, please you also stay here tonight that I might know what more the Lord will say to me.» Like God’s going to say, «Okay, I had you hold out the first time because I knew they’d send you more money, and I wanted you to have a bigger offering.» That is ludicrous when you think about it.
So, watch what happens that night. God said to Balaam, «Go.» Whoa! Wait a minute! But only do what I tell you. First, God said, «You shall not go with him.» Now God tells him to go, but only say what I tell you to say. So now he’s got the word of the Lord to go. This is great! We read the next verse: «So Balaam rose up in the morning, saddled his donkey, and went with the princes of Moab.» He’s doing exactly what the word of the Lord said the night before, right?
But look at this next verse: «Then God’s anger was aroused because he went.» Is God schizophrenic? No, He’s not. Why does God say, «You shall not go with them,» then later tells him to go? Here’s something a lot of Christians don’t understand, and it’s essential that you get this point: if you really want something, if you feel restrained by the word of God, many times, God will give it to you, even if He knows it’s not good for you, and even if He knows you’ll be judged for it.
You say, «Come on! Israel wanted a king.» God said, «It’s not good that you have a king because the king will take your best daughters, your best lands, your best sons.» But they said, «We still want a king!» God told them, «If you want the king, give it to them!» God gave you free will; He’s not going to violate your free will.
If you look at Israel, they were tired of the manna that God had been giving them in the desert. He gave them bread from Heaven. Elijah ate two cakes of it and went 40 days, 40 nights. I mean, the manna is amazing! But they wanted meat. They got tired of the manna and said, «We want meat.» So they made a request. You all know what a prayer request is. Psalm 105:40 says, «Israel asked for meat.»
Now, watch this. Psalm 78 says, «By God’s power, He reigned meat on them like the dust, feathered fowl like the sand of the sea.» You talk about miraculous provision! Wow! He let them fall in the midst of their camp all around their dwelling. Three million people—God caused quail to come into the middle of the desert and flutter in, and they just picked them. They didn’t even need crackers or guns; they just picked them out of the air! What a miraculous provision for a prayer request!
But now look at the very next verse: «So they ate and were well filled for He gave them their own desire.» But while the food was still in their mouths, «The wrath of God came against them and slew the stoutest of them and struck down the choice men of Israel.» They got what they asked for, but judgment came on them before they finished eating.
So here’s the deal: you have to be careful when you ask for something from God that you know is not His will. You have to be cautious because God gave you and I a free will, and He loves us so much that He won’t force us to do His will.
God’s angry, and what happens next? The angel shows up, and Balaam finally goes, «I’ve sinned against the Lord.» Balaam confesses his sin, but then he says, «Now, therefore, if it displeases you, I’ll turn back.» Do you see? He’s still trying to go; he still wants to get that money. This is important; we need to check our motives.
So, to summarize:
1. Satan has a strategy, a systematic plan, to draw you into sin.
2. He can only entice you; he can’t make you do anything. He is not making you turn on that computer and look at pornography; he can only entice you.
3. He can’t entice you with anything you don’t desire.
I want to share a testimony with you of a good friend of mine. Years ago, a friend of mine and I were sitting in a restaurant. He shared with me that he used to be a policeman on the LAPD. During that time, he got saved. After he got saved, all this stuff left his life, but one thing didn’t—he smoked. He smoked four packs of cigarettes a day. He realized he was destroying the Temple of the Holy Spirit, so he began to pray and cry out to God, saying, «God, I want smoking out of my life.»
He said, «John, I prayed, I fasted, I commanded it to leave my life. I was the first one in line to get prayed for every time a visiting ministry came to my church.» But he said, «I just couldn’t stop. I was smoking four packs a day and couldn’t live without a cigarette.»
Then a couple of years into this, he brought a friend of his who was not saved to a meeting—a special evangelistic outreach at his church. His friend got saved at that meeting, and he also got completely set free from cigarette smoking. He had been smoking two packs a day. My friend, Tom, said, «I was really upset with God. I acted as happy as I could for my friend, but I was mad at God.»
So he went home, furious, and said, «God, I have fasted, I have prayed, I have humbled myself, and I’ve had pastors pray for me. I’ve done everything I know; I have confessed the word of God, but I can’t get free. I’m so thankful you saved him, but why haven’t you set me free?»
In the middle of his frustration, he screamed out, «God, why haven’t you set me free?» He said he heard the audible voice of God. «It came over this shoulder. I’ll never forget.» He said when he asked why he hadn’t been set free, he heard God respond: «Because you still like it.»
When God said, «Because you still like it,» my friend took one look at the lit cigarette in his hand and went, «Oh!» He said, «I have never to this day touched another cigarette.»
Here’s the deal: he was fasting, praying, and wanting to be free. But the problem was he still liked it. You have to ask yourself an honest question: if God never said it was sin to look at a woman and lust after her, would you still want to do it? The reality is you won’t get free unless you’re honest. God cannot help you unless you are honest.
Did you hear what I just said? He can’t help you because you’ve blocked the avenue for His help. You have to be honest and say, «God, would you please give me the desire to change?» This is what I prayed when I started deeply loving Jesus. I said, «Would you please give me the hatred for pornography that You have?»
That was what set me up to get free on that day, May 6, 1985. So, in closing this lesson, I want to be really honest with ourselves: do you still like looking at nude women or men? Do you still enjoy pornography? If you do, let’s pray and ask God right now to change your desires.
Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus, forgive me for liking what drove the nails into Jesus' hands. I can’t change this desire on my own, but I want to change it. I want to hate it as you hate it. I’m asking that you would do this in me now, in Jesus' mighty name. Amen.
I’m so proud of you for praying honestly, and I know God is going to answer your prayer. Now we will move to the next lesson, focusing on the psychological and behavioral aspects that keep people from getting set free. You’re going to learn so much in the next two lessons.