John Bevere - Are We Really Loving People?
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I'm talking to you about lessons I've learned the hard way. Why am I discussing this? Because I don't want you to learn these lessons as I did. I went through a lot of pain and suffering, and I want you to avoid that while gaining the wisdom God shared with me so you can build upon it. Now, here's a scripture I want to read to you. I want you to listen carefully: "Speaking the truth in love may grow up in all things into Him" (Ephesians 4:15).
Now, listen to those words: "speaking the truth in love." I want to tell you about a time in my life when I held a position in a church; it was an 8,000-member church, and I had a very visible role. I was known as the nicest guy in the church. I heard people say that—they would say, "John Bevere, he's the nicest guy in the church." You know what? I really liked it. People would say, "He always says such nice things to me," and I loved that. I absolutely loved it. Then, there was this one that really rang my bell: "Oh, he's the most loving guy in the whole church."
I would hear that come through the grapevine, and I'd be like, "Oh, yeah." One day, I was in prayer, and you know what the Lord said to me? He said, "You don't love those people."
When God says something like that to you, you kind of think, "God, do you have so many kids now you're getting us mixed up with one another? This is me, this is John; people are saying I love them." God said to me again, "Son, you don't love them." I said, "God, what do you mean?" He said, "Do you know why you tell people things they want to hear, even if they aren't true?" I said, "Why?" He said, "Because you don't want them to reject you." He said, "So who's the focus of your love, you or them?" I said, "I am." He said, "If you really loved them, you would tell them the truth."
That's the thing the Lord impressed upon me: make sure that when you open your mouth to correct or instruct people—especially when they might not want to hear it—make sure you do it from a heart filled with love for them, not from an "I-told-you-so" attitude or a condescending perspective. Ensure it's from a heart that is willing to lay down your life for that person.