Joel Osteen - Kiss It Goodbye
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In this sermon based on the story of Naomi from the Book of Ruth, Joel Osteen encourages us to release bitterness over losses, closed doors, and disappointments by «kissing them goodbye,» trusting that God has better things ahead and will restore what was lost, as He did for Naomi in her latter days.
Naomi’s Story: Releasing the Past
I want to talk to you today about «Kiss it goodbye». There is a lady in the Scripture named Naomi. She left Bethlehem with her husband and two sons because of a famine. They moved to the city of Moab. They had plenty of food, and life was good until her husband unexpectedly died. She never dreamed she would be a widow.
Ten years later, both of her grown sons passed away, and she was so discouraged that she decided to move back home to Bethlehem. She told her two daughters-in-law, Ruth and Orpah, that they should move back to their hometowns as well and start a new life. Ruth said, «No, Naomi, I am staying with you. I am going to Bethlehem to help take care of you.» The other daughter-in-law, Orpah, took her advice and said she was going to leave and move back home.
You would think Naomi would have been a little sour and thought: after all I have done for you, Orpah, you are going to leave me now at my lowest moment? You can go get remarried, you can find another husband. I am an old lady. Who is going to take care of me? She could have felt betrayed, insulted. Instead, the Scripture says Naomi kissed Orpah goodbye.
Orpah represented the broken dreams, the hurts, the disappointments, the things she did not understand. Naomi was saying by that kiss: life has thrown me a curve, it has not been fair, but I am at peace. I know God is still in control. And if you are going to reach your destiny, you have to learn to kiss things goodbye.
Letting Go of Bitterness
You are not going to understand everything that happens. People may walk away, life may not turn out the way you thought. It is easy to get bitter, hold a grudge, lose your passion. Do like Naomi: kiss the bitterness goodbye, kiss the person that left you goodbye, kiss the dream that did not work out goodbye. God would not have allowed it to happen if He did not have something better up in front of you.
But sometimes God will close the door. He will move people out of your life. There are people and opportunities that were ordained for your past that are not ordained for your future. They were right for a season, but that season can come to an end. The key is how we handle the closed doors, how you handle the disappointments, how you handle the people that treated you wrong.
Sometimes, instead of kissing them goodbye, we smack them goodbye. Good riddance, I did not like you in the first place, do not let the door hit you on the way out. Naomi could have turned away angry and thought, I am not going to kiss you, Orpah. Some friend you are. That would have kept her from the new things God had in store.
She moved back to Bethlehem with her daughter-in-law Ruth. Ruth married Boaz, a wealthy man that owned all the land. They had a baby. Naomi took care of their son like he was her own. After all she had been through—all the broken dreams, all the loss—while holding the little baby, Naomi said in effect, I never dreamed I could be this happy, this fulfilled.
Beauty for Ashes
Her latter days were better than her former days. God knows how to give you beauty for ashes. He knows how to turn mourning into dancing. But it would never have happened if she had not kissed Orpah goodbye. Are you at peace with your past, or are you bitter over the loss? Upset because your plans did not work out? Holding a grudge because that person walked away?
It is time to kiss some things goodbye. Do not bring bitterness into a new year. Do not bring self-pity, a chip on your shoulder. That was in your past; it does not belong in the future. You cannot embrace the new things God has in store as long as you are holding on to the old.
My father went to be with the Lord back in 1999, some twenty years ago. I lost one of my best friends. I still miss him, but I realize the loss of my father is in my past, it is not in my future. If I had brought all the hurt, the questions, the self-pity, I would not be where I am.
You will not have the strength to move forward if you are weeping over what is behind. It takes a lot of energy to think about the past, relive the hurts, wonder why it did not work out. That person you lost—if they were supposed to be here, they would still be here. If somebody left you, I say it respectfully, you do not need them.
Trusting God’s Plan
If it did not work out the way you had planned, it was not supposed to. God’s ways are not our ways. Will you trust Him when it does not make sense? Start kissing things goodbye. You spend enough energy on the past—that does not take you anywhere. Kiss that disappointment goodbye. That door did not close by accident. God is directing your steps. It was either not the right time or because He has something better.
A friend of mine owned a very successful business for years. He was a leader in his field and saw all kinds of growth and increase. He had big dreams to leave his company to his children to continue the legacy. After twenty-five years, things started to slow down. The competition around him increased, so he started working harder, going in earlier.
I would call him, and he was meeting with staff at 6:00 in the morning. He was determined to make it work. He did everything he possibly could. But God is called the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. We get excited about the beginning, talk a lot about God doing a new thing, but we do not hear a lot about the Omega, the end.
And just as God opens doors, sometimes God will close the door. He will bring things to an end. And this can be hard for us because it feels like a setback. And after all the hard work, my friend’s company did not make it. He was so discouraged. For several months he would hardly talk on the phone. He told me how he felt like a failure.
From Closed Doors to New Opportunities
He had all these plans, but it did not work out the way he thought. I told him what I am telling you: the best thing you can do is just kiss it goodbye. Do not bring a failure from yesterday into today. If one dream dies, get back up and dream another dream. He got his passion back and went out and started a consulting business. All kinds of doors began to open.
Today he has more clients, more influence, more opportunities than he has ever had. His new company is many times more successful than his old one. When life does not turn out the way you thought, remind yourself God is still in control. Instead of being sour, losing your joy, kiss the disappointment goodbye.
Quit reliving mistakes that you have made, things that you wish you would have done differently, wondering why it did not work out. Like my friend, you may have done your best, given it your all, but it did not succeed. Accept it as God’s plan and move on.
Our attitude should be: God, I trust You not just with my successes, I trust You with my failures, I trust You with the betrayals, I trust You with the things that do not make sense. When you kiss the past goodbye, it releases you into your future. You have to be at peace with what is behind you.
Maturity in Letting Go
It is not enough to just move forward angry, bitter, mad at God. That is why Naomi kissed Orpah. It was symbolizing: this is painful, I do not like it, I feel betrayed, but I am at peace. It takes maturity to kiss things that do not feel good. This is what the prophet Samuel had to do.
He spent years mentoring a young man named Saul. He took him under his wing and trained him to become the next king of Israel. You can imagine how proud Samuel was when he saw this young man now grown and leading the Israelites. Everyone looked up to King Saul. He was tall and handsome; he looked like a king.
But over time Saul got off course. He made poor decisions. He eventually lost the throne. Samuel was so disappointed. He thought: God, I put all this time and energy into him. I have invested my life, and it seems like it was all a big waste.
You would think God would say, I understand, Samuel. Too bad it did not work out. But God did not let him feel sorry for himself. He said, Samuel, how long are you going to mourn over Saul? God is asking us: how long are you going to mourn over what you have lost?
How long are you going to be discouraged over who hurt you, what you did not get, the boss that was not fair? I do not believe in giving people the right to feel sorry for themselves—not because they do not have a good reason. Some people have gone through things that nobody should have to go through.
But I have learned: if you stay in self-pity with a chip on your shoulder, thinking you have a reason to live defeated, you will never see the vindication, the restoration, the promotion, the favor that belongs to you. God wants to pay you back for what was unfair.
Do not sit around in self-pity. Kiss the bad break goodbye, kiss the unfair childhood goodbye, kiss that injustice goodbye.
Moving Forward to Greater Things
God told Samuel: fill your horn with oil. I am sending you to the house of Jesse. I have chosen one of his sons as the next king. God was saying: Samuel, if you will kiss this disappointment goodbye and start moving forward, I will show you the new king.
One of your dreams may have died—that did not stop God’s plan. He has another dream. One relationship may not have worked out: if you kiss the old goodbye, God will show you the new. David went on to become the greatest king that ever lived.
When God makes up for what you lost, it is not going to be less than; it is not going to be equal. It is going to be better. Just because it has not turned out the way you thought does not mean you have to settle for second best. God does not have to come up with a Plan B. God already knew what would happen.
He knew every door that would close, every person that would walk away, how you would spend time and energy but a dream not come to pass. All that is getting you prepared for where God is taking you. Now do not get stuck mourning over Saul, disappointed over a bad break, bitter because of a loss.
Kiss it goodbye, move forward, and you will see your Davids. You will see more than you can ask or think.
When we were trying to buy property to build a new sanctuary, twice the land we found was sold out from under us. We had an appointment at 8 o’clock in the morning to close on the first property. We showed up at 7:45. The secretary walked out and said, I am sorry, the owner sold the property last night.
I could not believe that he did not keep his word. I went home so disappointed, and I told Victoria what happened—how we did not have the property and how we would never be able to build, how we were stuck, how we could not keep growing. I had a sad song, and I thought I was convincing.
She looked at me and said, Joel, God is still on the throne. This is not a surprise to Him. We are going to stay in faith and believe something better is coming. I did not want to hear that. I wanted to feel sorry for myself. The flesh likes to have a pity party.
God’s Closed Doors Lead to Better Openings
She was telling me what I am telling you: kiss it goodbye, move forward. When things happen that you do not understand, you can be sure God is up to something. He is working behind the scenes. Now I came back to a place of peace. I knew if God wanted us to have that property, no person could have stopped us.
And just the opposite: if God does not want us to have something, all of our efforts will not make it happen. He is the Alpha and the Omega. He knows how to not only open doors that no man can shut, He knows how to close doors that no man can open.
Are you upset over a door God closed, people He moved out of your life, a dream He did not let come to pass yet? Six months later we received word that the Compaq Center was coming available. Right then I knew why those doors closed.
Buying property would have been second best. That would have been keeping Saul. The Compaq Center is David—more than we can imagine. I am asking you to be at peace with your past, peace with things you do not understand—not bitter, not angry, not with a chip on your shoulder.
Maybe you did not have a good childhood. Nobody was there to speak faith into you. God knew how you would be raised. That is not going to keep you from your destiny; it is leading you to your destiny. Kiss it goodbye and move forward.
You cannot become who you were created to be with a chip on your shoulder, thinking that you are at a disadvantage. If you will take the hand you have been dealt and make the most of it, God will open doors you could not open. His favor on your life will take you where you could not go on your own.
Kissing Negative Attitudes Goodbye
Why do you not kiss the self-pity goodbye? Kiss that condescending spirit goodbye. Kiss always having to be right goodbye. Do not bring a bad attitude into a new year—being sarcastic, critical, seeing the worst in everybody.
Some people can wear designer clothes, put on makeup, have nice hair. They look great on the outside. The problem is none of that can cover up what is on the inside. If we would work half as much on the inside as we do the outside, we would be much better off.
But if you do not kiss a bad attitude goodbye, the problem is you will be at the same place next year as you are right now. And sometimes we are waiting for God to change things. God is waiting for us to make a decision.
You have to put your foot down and say: I am not coming into a new year with old thinking. I am kissing the chip on my shoulder goodbye. I am kissing the guilt goodbye. I am kissing a barely-get-by mentality goodbye.
When you kiss it, this means in your mind you are putting an end to it. You are saying: this addiction is not going to control me anymore. I am free. Well, you have made a lot of mistakes. Yes, but I have kissed them goodbye. I am not living in regrets, beating myself up. I am forgiven. I am redeemed. I am wearing a robe of righteousness.
You have always been in dysfunction; that is how you were raised. You have always been hot-tempered; you have always been angry. Yes, that is how I was raised, but that is not who I am. I am kissing that goodbye. I am putting an end to what has been passed down. I am breaking the generational curse, and I am starting the generational blessing.
Declaring Freedom Over Your Life
You need to announce to that dysfunction: you may have been in my 2018, but I have bad news—you are not in my 2019. Mediocrity, depression, bitterness, anger—I am kissing you goodbye. I will not be seeing you this year. We are parting ways. Hate to say it, and I am not going to miss you.
Kiss loneliness goodbye. Father, thank You that You have somebody awesome already headed my way. Thank You that the right person is chasing me down. Goodbye lack, struggle, not having enough. You were in my yesterday, but sorry, you are not in my today. Father, thank You that I will lend and not borrow. Thank You that whatever I touch will prosper and succeed.
Maybe you need to kiss goodbye the way you see yourself: inferior, unattractive, not a good personality, not talented enough. Kiss that wrong self-image goodbye. Victory starts in your thinking. Abundance, health, freedom—it starts in our mind.
You cannot think the same way and expect different results. Start embracing who God says you are: you are fearfully and wonderfully made, you are a masterpiece, you have been crowned with favor, you have royal blood flowing through your veins.
Nobody in this world has your same fingerprints. You did not come off an assembly line. You are an original, one of a kind, made in the image of Almighty God.
Handling Criticism and Relationships
I wonder where you could be at this time next year if you would start kissing things goodbye. Kiss the offense goodbye. Quit letting people hurt your feelings. Quit letting what they say ruin your day. Tune it out.
They have a right to say what they want; you have a right to ignore it. You should not let that get down in your spirit. With joy I am praying that these people at work will quit talking about me. I do not want to discourage you, but they may never quit talking about you. They are jealous of the favor and blessing on your life.
Take it as a compliment. They do not talk about average people. They talk about exceptional people. They do not talk about people that are not doing anything. They talk about people that are taking new ground, people that are making a difference, people that stand out.
It is a test. God is seeing if you are ready to go to the next level. If you get upset, bitter, start thinking about how you are going to pay them back—or are you going to kiss it goodbye and keep running your race, enjoying your life?
Those adversaries are getting you prepared for your destiny. Where you are going, there will be opposition, critics, people trying to pull you down. The good news is no weapon formed against you will prosper. They cannot stop you.
The forces that are for you are greater than the forces that are against you. Stay on the high road and stay focused on what God has put in your heart. You do not have time to get distracted by all the negative chatter.
What people think about you is none of your business. What they are saying should not concern you. There will always be somebody that does not like you. Kiss it goodbye and keep moving forward.
Now, there may be some relationships you need to kiss goodbye. And I am not talking about your husband or your wife—somebody just thought they got their word for 2019. Your time is too valuable to spend it with peace stealers, people that try to get you all riled up, or with dream killers, people that tell you what you cannot become, or with compromisers, people that cause you to give in to temptation.
Choosing the Right Relationships
I have had this friend a long time. I do not hang out with them; they may get upset. What you are unwilling to walk away from is where you will get stuck. If you do not kiss the wrong people goodbye, you will never meet the right people.
And if someone is not adding value to your life, making you better, pushing you toward your destiny, you need to make a change. And sometimes it is just a new season. The friends you had five years ago may not be the friends you need now.
Everybody cannot go where you are going. It does not mean they are not good people; you have just outgrown them. You are going at a faster pace. If you continue hanging around them, it will limit your growth. You need to gradually spend less and less time with them.
Naomi’s daughter-in-law Orpah—she was a good person. Naomi loved her. They had spent years together. But Naomi recognized Orpah’s part in her story was over. She did not try to talk her into staying.
If someone is supposed to be in your life, you cannot make them leave. And if someone leaves easily, they are not supposed to be there. Quit trying to talk people into staying. You do not have to convince anyone to love you, to call you, to come see you.
You are a gift. You are a prize. You have something amazing to offer. If they do not want to be there, that is a sure sign they are not supposed to be there. God has people already ordained that you cannot make leave—people that want to celebrate you, people that love spending time with you.
If somebody wants to leave, let them leave. Your destiny is not tied to the people that walked away. Be respectful, but kiss the Orpahs goodbye.
Stepping Into Your Destiny
God told Abraham to leave his relatives and move to a different city. I am sure he loved his relatives. For a season everything was fine. But when God was about to promote Abraham and do something big in his life, He knew his relatives and the people where he lived would not be able to handle it.
The people closest to you may not see the greatness in you. When they are familiar, they can dismiss you as just being ordinary. Sometimes you have to kiss people goodbye so you can become all you were created to be.
This is what my father had to do. At seventeen years old he knew he had more in him, but his parents told him to just stay on the farm and pick cotton with them the rest of his life. And they loved my dad. They were trying to protect him, but they could not see his seeds of greatness.
They did not see a man that would touch nations. They just saw their son—nothing special, he is just one of us. My father very respectfully kissed them goodbye and went out and started ministering. God opened amazing doors, and he went on to leave his mark.
Do not let people talk you out of what God put in your heart. When you come to the end of life, you are not going to have to stand before people and give an account. You are going to stand before God.
I would rather disappoint people than disappoint God. I would rather hurt a few feelings than miss my destiny.
Is there something you need to kiss goodbye? A hurt, a bad attitude, an area that you are compromising in. Do not bring it into a new year. That is in your past; it does not belong to your future.
The apostle Paul said: forgetting what lies behind, I press toward the high calling. If there is a high calling, that means there is a low calling. You can go through life holding on to hurts, wrong attitudes, with people that are not good for you, but that will keep you from new levels, from the high calling that belongs to you.
It is time to start kissing things goodbye. Kiss that failure goodbye—this is a new day. Kiss guilt goodbye—you have been forgiven. Kiss the bad break goodbye—God has something better.
If you will do this, I believe and declare you are about to come into the high calling. New doors are going to open, new relationships, favor, healing, breakthroughs, the fullness of your destiny, in Jesus' name.