Joel Osteen - Release Control (04/17/2018)
Joel Osteen teaches that holding too tightly to our dreams and plans leads to frustration and disappointment, while releasing control to God—trusting His better ways—brings peace and freedom. Using examples from Abraham, his own pursuit of the Compaq Center, and everyday frustrations, he concludes that passing the «trust test» by saying «not my will but Yours» allows God to work out His perfect plan and often restore or exceed our desires.
I want to talk to you today about «Releasing Control.» It is easy to get so focused on our goals, our dreams that we are not going to be happy until it happens. We put God in a box and tell Him what we want, when we want it, how to do it, who to use. We have got it all figured out. But the Scripture says, «God’s ways are not our ways. They are better than our ways.» If you are only going to be happy if it happens your way, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
God can see the big picture for our lives. He knows what is around every curve. He can see the detours, the dead ends, the shortcuts—things that we cannot see. A better approach is to say, «God, this is what I want. This is what I am believing for. But God, You know what is best for me. I do not have to have it my way. God, I trust You.»
The Freedom in Releasing Control
When you release control, it takes the pressure off. Life gets so much more freeing. You are not always fighting, trying to make your plans work out. Sometimes we are so focused on what we want that it is out of balance. Anything you have to have in order to be happy, the enemy can use against you.
If you think, «I have to have this promotion,» «My spouse has to change,» «I have got to get married to be happy,» or «I have got to have good weather—I have a big outdoor event planned.» No, a mature attitude says, «Even if it does not work out my way, even if my plans do not happen, God, I am still going to enjoy my life, knowing that You are on the throne.»
Here is the key: when our dreams and goals start to frustrate us, when we are not at peace, not enjoying where we are because we are so focused on what we want, that is a sign that we are holding on too tightly. When you hold on to what you want so tightly, it can almost become like an idol. You are so focused on it. That is all you think about, all you pray about. It consumes your time and energy. That is out of balance.
One of the best prayers that we can ever pray is, «God, not my will, but let Your will be done.» When you release control, you are showing God by your actions that you trust Him. There are times in life God will ask you to release the thing that you want the most. It is a test. If you will pass that test, at some point, God will either give you back what you wanted or bring something better into your life.
Abraham’s Test of Trust
This is what happened with Abraham. His son Isaac, the child he had dreamed about year after year, finally showed up. Abraham loved him more than anything in the world. One day, God told Abraham to put Isaac on the altar, to sacrifice the thing that meant the most to him.
It was not easy, but Abraham made this decision to release control. He said, «God, You know this is what I have dreamed about. This is what I have wanted more than anything else. But God, I trust You. I can be happy even if it does not work out my way.» When God saw his willingness to put on the altar the thing that meant most to him, God said, «No, do not do it.» He gave him his son back.
The question is, can you be happy if it does not work out your way? Will you keep a good attitude if the business slows down, if the medical report is not good? Maybe you are believing, standing on a promise for your health to get better. When you have the attitude, «Even if I do not get better, I am still going to have a smile, I am still going to be good to people, I am still going to give God praise,» you are doing what Abraham did. You are putting that dream on the altar.
When you can pass the test that you do not have to have the problem turn around to be happy, you do not have to have the dream come to pass to enjoy your life, you are proving to God that you trust Him. That is when God will give you the desires of your heart.
The Compaq Center Story
When we were trying to acquire this facility, the former Compaq Center, I wanted it so badly that it consumed me. I was constantly thinking about it, praying about it, talking about it. It seemed like the harder I tried, the worse things got. More people came against us. Lawsuits were filed.
I would wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, wondering if it was going to happen. One day, I realized that I was so set on having it my way, I was not enjoying where I was. I was not going to be happy if we did not acquire it.
I had to do what I am asking you to do. I said, «God, I believe that this facility is supposed to be ours. Deep down, God, I believe You saved it just for us. But even if it does not happen, I am going to still be my best at the other location. I am still going to be happy and enjoy my life. I release control. God, do it Your way.»
It was not long after that that things started falling into place. We won the votes from the city council members. The lawsuits were settled. Here we are today. When you release control, you are passing a very important test—the trust test. You are saying, «God, I believe You know what is best for me.» Many times, like with Abraham, like with this facility, that is when God will release back to you the very thing that you are believing for.
A Wife’s Prayer for Her Husband
I know this lady that had a husband who would not come to church with her. He was a nice man. He just was not interested. She was praying and believing that it would change. This went on year after year. She did everything she could think of. She put Scripture verses up all over her house. She was always encouraging him to come.
In spite of all of that, he would not come. After about a year, she began to get frustrated. She lost her joy. She used to come down to the front for prayer, very discouraged and upset. «Joel, I do not understand it. I am doing everything that I can.»
I told her what I am telling you: «The best thing you can do is release control. Turn it over to God. You have prayed, you have believed, you are standing in faith. Now put it on the altar. Have the attitude, 'If he never comes, God, I am still going to trust You. If it never changes, I am still going to be happy.'»
When you show God that you do not have to have it in order to be happy, that is when God goes to work. There may be things that are frustrating you right now because they are not changing. You know God put the dream in your heart, but it does not look like it is going to happen.
You have to do what she did and say, «God, I have done everything I can. I am not going to live my life upset, not going to go around worried, wondering, frustrated. God, I am putting this on the altar. I am giving it to You.» That is what this lady did. She got her joy back. She got that spring in her step. By her actions, she was saying, «God, I trust You. I know You are still on the throne. I do not have to have anyone or anything to make me happy. I am going to be happy right where I am.»
About two years later, one Sunday morning, her husband asked if he could come to church with her. It was his idea. They came that Sunday. That was over eight years ago. Now he hardly ever misses a Sunday. That is what happens when you release control. God will make things happen that you could never make happen on your own.
I am not saying to release the promise, to give up on a dream. No—release the worries. Release the frustration. Release having to have it your way. Psalm 138 says, «God will work out His plan for your life.» God knows how to get you to where you are supposed to be. You do not have to live worried, frustrated. If you will trust Him, God will bring the right people. He will open the right doors. He will turn problems around. He promises He will work out His plan for your life.
Waiting on God’s Timing
We all have goals and dreams. It is easy to be frustrated when they are not happening as fast as we would like. We think, «God, I am working hard. I am being my best. I am honoring You. When am I going to get that good break? When am I going to meet the right person? Why is it taking so long?»
No, you cannot control the timetable. You can plant the seed, you can water it, but only God can bring the sunshine. Only God can cause it to grow. Do not be frustrated because it is not happening on your timetable. As long as you are being your best, honoring God, you can rest assured God will get you to where you are supposed to be.
It is the same principle in our health. You cannot make yourself get well. You can pray and believe. You can eat right, exercise, take medicine, but only God can bring the healing. Only He can restore health. The Scripture says to «cast your cares on the Lord.» The care is the worry, those thoughts that bring anxiety and fear: «What if you do not get well? What if the treatment does not work? What if the medical report is not good?»
Worry ties the hands of Almighty God. Living stressed out, trying to change things that you cannot change will keep you from God’s best. You have to release control. It is not your job to heal yourself. You do not control the sunshine.
The right attitude is, «God, my life is in Your hands. I know You are the healer. You said the number of my days You would fulfill. So I am not going to live worried and stressed out. Lord, I want to thank You for the sunshine. Thank You for doing what only You can do.» Then all through the day, instead of trying to make yourself get well, just relax, stay in peace, keep a smile on your face.
God is not asking you to control everything. Take the pressure off yourself. He is saying, «Cast your cares. Release the control.» See, you cannot make yourself get well. You cannot make people like you. You cannot make a dream come to pass. God has to give you the sunshine. He has to breathe in your direction.
Focus on What You Can Control
Maybe you are believing for a promotion today. You say, «Joel, all you said I have to do is just trust. I cannot make it happen.» No, the Scripture says, «Cast your cares,» not your responsibilities. I am not saying to just sit back and do not do anything. No—do your part, then take your hands off of it and trust God to do what you cannot do.
In other words, get to work on time. Produce more than you have to. Have a spirit of excellence. Then if for some reason you do not get the promotion—maybe they give it to somebody less deserving—you cannot control that, but you can control your response. «God, I trust You. I am not going to be offended, start complaining. God, I know You have something better in store. In the meantime, I am going to enjoy my life right where I am.»
Quit being frustrated by things that you cannot change. God has you in the palm of His hand. Nothing is happening that He is not completely aware of. When you start releasing control and trusting Him to get you to where you are supposed to be, that is when you will see new doors open, new opportunities, new friendships.
Much of our frustration in life is because we are trying to control things we were never meant to control. We try to control what people think about us, control what our spouse does, control when a dream comes to pass. If it is not happening on our timetable, the way we want, we go to work and try to change it, thinking, «Man, I have got to change my spouse. I have got to change these people’s opinion of me. This problem is not turning around fast enough. I have got to get in there and change that.»
Many people are working overtime trying to change things that they cannot change. You have to accept the fact you cannot control everything. The only thing you can control 100% of the time is your attitude. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond.
If somebody hurts you, you cannot control that. It is over and done, but you can control whether or not you get offended. If you were to get a negative medical report, you cannot control that—life happens—but you can control whether or not you live upset and discouraged.
I am simply asking you today: focus on what you can control, not on what you cannot. If you live in Houston, during the summers it is very hot here. I know people that have complained for the last 30 years about the heat. «It is so hot. I cannot take it, Joel.» The fact is, you cannot change the heat. It is going to be hot in the summers for the next 30 years.
You can either dread it and let that sour the rest of your life, or you can say, «This is where God has me. I believe I have the grace to handle it. Yes, it is hot, but thank God I have an air conditioner. Thank God I have a job here. Thank God I have friends and family. Thank God I can come to Lakewood.» You cannot control the heat, but you can control your attitude.
Why be unhappy about something that you cannot change? If you have to sit in traffic every day on the way to work, why let that steal your joy? Being upset about it is not going to make it go any faster. You cannot control the traffic. Why do you not change what you can control? Use that time to thank God for what He has done in your life. Look out at the beauty of His creation. Put on some good praise music. The traffic may not ever change, but you can change.
Some of the things that are frustrating you right now, if you do not make these simple adjustments, 20 years from now, 30 years, 40 years, those same things will still be frustrating you. Life happens to all of us. We have delays, interruptions, unfair situations. We cannot control that. Do not use it as an excuse to get upset.
Everyday Tests of Releasing Control
A few Christmases ago, I was driving around a crowded parking lot, up and down the rows again and again, trying to find someplace to park. In a few minutes, this young couple came out. They were parked right up close to the building. I said, «Well, Lord, thank You for Your favor,» and I put my blinker on. I was waiting for them to pull out.
It took them a long time. They had to put their packages in the trunk and buckle up a child in the safety seat. Finally, they backed out. Just as I was about to pull in—they still had me blocked—this car came from the wrong direction and pulled in right in front of me.
My first thought was to honk my horn and give them a piece of my mind. Then I remembered I am a pastor—and a happy pastor at that. One of the most important things that I have learned is life is too short to be frustrated by things you cannot control. You cannot control what other people do. You cannot control the traffic, cannot control the weather.
If you are only going to be happy if everything goes your way and everybody is nice and kind to you, you are probably going to live a very unhappy life. Them taking my parking spot was a part of the 10%. Life happened—it was not fair. But the 90% is what really matters: how do we respond?
Jesus said, «Stop allowing yourselves to be upset, agitated, and disturbed.» It is a choice that we have to make. At the start of the day, you should make a decision that no matter what comes against you that day, you are not going to get upset. You have to decide ahead of time.
That way, if you get to work and your boss is in a grouchy mood, you think, «That is okay. I cannot control him. I cannot make him be in a good mood. That is his choice. My choice is to be happy. I have already decided to enjoy this day.» Traffic is worse than normal. If your child forgets his homework at school and you have got to go back. If the Texans do not win—that is all right. I have already decided I am not going to be frustrated. I am not going to get upset today.
The Lost Message and Power Outage
Back when I first started ministering in 1999, one day I was at home working on my computer, writing the message for that weekend. It was a perfectly sunny day—not a cloud in the sky. Out of nowhere, the power went off. For some reason, I had not saved my material. I had five or six pages of notes—been working most of the day—and I was hoping, praying, believing that somehow it had been automatically saved.
It was hard enough back then to write one message. I said, «God, please do not make me write it again.» Power came back on. I searched and searched trying to find it, but it was not there. I got technicians to come out from the office. They looked and looked, but the material was gone.
I was so frustrated. I had lost the whole day’s worth of work. I felt like calling the power company: «What are you doing turning my power off in the middle of the day? Do you not know that is causing problems?» No matter how much I vented, no matter how frustrated I became, the material was not coming back.
We waste a lot of time and energy trying to change things that we cannot change. The Scripture says, «In life you will have trials, difficulties, interruptions.» We are all going to have our 10%—things we do not like, things that are not fair, things we do not understand. We cannot control that. You have to focus on what you can control.
I finally shook off the self-pity. I shook off the discouragement, sat back down at my computer, and said, «God, this power going off is not a surprise to You. You said what is meant for my harm You would use to my advantage. You said all things would work together for my good. So Lord, I want to thank You—the second time I write this message will be better than the first time.»
I went to work there at my computer, and ideas started coming from out of nowhere. A couple of hours later, I had more notes and better notes than I had before. Next time you are tempted to be frustrated, offended, stressed out, remind yourself that is a part of the 10%. You cannot control that, but you can control how you respond. Start passing the test.
Do not keep letting the same things upset you year after year—the same people get on your nerves. Every day is a gift from God. We are not always going to be here. Once this day is over, we can never get it back. Your time is too valuable to waste it upset in traffic, offended at a neighbor, frustrated at a child, worried about your health, discouraged because a dream is taking so long.
You cannot control those things. If that was going to keep you from your destiny, God would have never permitted it. Start passing the test. Do not allow yourself to be upset.
Adopting a «No Worries» Mentality
I was in Australia last year, and they use the phrase «No worries» all the time. They say «No worries» like we say «You are welcome» here in the States. If you are at dinner and the waiter brings you the food, you say «Thank you,» they answer back, «No worries.» I dropped my fork on the ground—they came running over, picked it up, «No worries.»
They are so relaxed, easygoing. Nothing bothers them. Building is on fire—"No worries.» Robbery in progress—"No worries.» I must have heard that phrase 20, 30 times a day. Even though they use it in a different way, I love the fact that it reminds you not to worry, puts you at ease.
That should be our motto: «No worries.» Traffic is backed up—"No worries, God is directing my steps. I am at the right place at the right time.» Somebody is rude to us—"No worries, they are having a bad day. I have already decided to have a good day.» Business is a little slow—"No worries, God is my provider. He is supplying all of my needs.»
If we would develop this «No worries» mentality, I wonder not only how much more we would enjoy life but how much longer we would live. Proverbs says, «A relaxed attitude lengthens life.» The opposite is true. If you are living upset, offended, worried, you are taking time off of your life. We need you here. Do not leave before your time is up.
If you will start trusting, relaxing, going with the flow, you can add time to your life. We are always looking for that fountain of youth—ways to look younger, to live longer. One way is to develop this «No worries» mentality. Quit being upset over things that you have no control over. Quit trying to change things that you cannot change. Worry less, trust more. Stress less, laugh more, love more, enjoy more.
The Two Left Shoes Story
When our daughter Alexandra was about five years old, one night I needed to run up to the store to pick something up. It was going to close in 30 minutes. Victoria said, «We will never make it, Joel.» I said, «Sure we will. Just help me get the kids ready, and let us go.»
She got them dressed real fast. I grabbed their shoes, and we took off to the store. It was like I was on a mission from God. I was so set—I needed to get what I wanted. I did not want to have to come back the next day.
We arrived at the store’s parking lot with about eight minutes left to go. I knew I could still make it, but I had to put little Alexandra’s shoes on. I got her left shoe on, went to put the right one on, but I could not get it to fit. I worked and worked and struggled, but it just would not go on right.
I took it off and noticed that it was another left shoe. I thought, «That could not be right,» and I compared it with the other one. Sure enough, we had two left shoes. I said, «Victoria, why do we have two of the exact same shoes?» She said, «Oh, Joel, her little cousin was over at the house playing today, and she has the same pair of shoes. We must have grabbed the wrong ones.»
I thought, «Oh, great.» Now I had about four minutes to go, and I was really stressed out. Alexandra was a daddy’s girl. She would do anything in the world for me. So I got this idea. I said, «Alexandra, it may be a little tight, but will you put this left shoe on your right foot and wear it for daddy?»
She looked at me—I will never forget it—smiled real big and said, «No, I won’t.» I knew right then and there it was not meant to be. Just go with the flow. That was a part of the 10%. Daughter has two left shoes. No use getting upset over what you cannot change. My plans did not work out. No worries—I can come back the next day. God is still directing my steps.
Think of it this way: if you learned you only had three months to live, how many of the things that upset you last week would you let upset you this week? Would you be stressed because your computer died? Would you be frustrated because your daughter has two left shoes? Would you be upset because somebody got your parking spot, somebody was rude to you at the grocery store? No—let it go. Life is too short to live that way.
Some of you are carrying around way too much. You need to start releasing the worries, release the offense, release the struggles. You do not have to make your dreams come to pass. Take the pressure off of yourself. Only God can bring the sunshine. Trust Him, and He will get you to where you are supposed to be.
If you will start releasing control, you will not only enjoy life more but you will live longer. God promises He will work out His plan for your life. I believe and declare He will open the right doors. He will bring the right people. He will turn negative situations around, and you will step into the fullness of your destiny, in Jesus' name.