Joel Osteen - Lessons I Learned from My Mother
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This is a special time for us today as we remember my mother, who was promoted to heaven last week. While it’s difficult, the scripture says, «to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.» We know where she is and where many of your loved ones are as well. We have the hope of heaven. As I reflected on my mother’s life, I thought of some lessons that I’ve learned. One thing that stood out is that my mother knew how to overcome adversity. She had polio as a child, and one of her legs never properly developed. It was about half the size of a normal leg, and she had to wear a brace and wasn’t able to run and play like the other kids. She could have felt shortchanged and at a disadvantage, but she never saw herself that way. She said, «Joel, I had a great childhood. I have nothing but good memories. The key to life is to take the hand you’ve been dealt and make the most of it.»
Nothing is a surprise to God. Life happens to us all-a disappointment, a setback, a loss. You can’t stop that from coming, but how you deal with it will make you or break you. If you get sour and bitter, it’s not fair; that’ll limit your life. But if you’ll stay in faith and keep the right attitude, God’s purpose will override anything that comes against you. What He has planned cannot be stopped by trouble, bad breaks, or injustice. Those things may come, but God knows how to take what was meant for harm and turn it to your advantage. Instead of being a stumbling block, He’ll turn it into a stepping stone to take you higher. My sister Lisa was born, as you heard, with something like cerebral palsy-another unexpected challenge. Of course, my brother Paul was a definite problem child.
A few years after my mother married my father, the church he was pastoring asked him to leave. They didn’t understand the message of faith and healing that my father saw in the Scripture. My mother told how lifelong friends never spoke to her again. She faced terminal cancer in 1981, and you’ve heard how she overcame that, but she had cancer two more times and quietly fought. My mother lost her husband, my dad, 26 years ago. She never thought she would be a widow at 65. She had all these opportunities to get discouraged and live with a chip on her shoulder, but I never heard her complain. Instead of talking about the problem, she was always talking about what God can do. Instead of dwelling on who did her wrong and what didn’t work out, she was always focused on the goodness of God and how blessed she was. Much of life is our perspective. Adversity comes to us all.
Jesus said in John 16, «In life, you’ll have trouble, heartache, distress.» If He stopped there, it would be kind of depressing. He went on to say, «But be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world.» Your attitude in tough times will determine if you stay there or if you come out better. It’s easy to complain, to talk about the trouble, who hurt you, and how big the sickness is. Zip that up. Talk about how big our God is. He has beauty for the ashes. He knows how to turn mourning into dancing, sickness into health, addictions into freedom. The reason you have trouble, the reason you face adversity and unexpected challenges, is because there’s a purpose the enemy doesn’t want you to reach.
There’s an assignment on your life, greatness God put in you that forces of darkness are trying to stop. One of the main ways is through adversity, bad breaks, and delays. He’s hoping you’ll get sour and settle where you are. Now you have to stand strong and fight the good fight of faith. The reason it’s good is that you’ve already won. God has already defeated every enemy that would try to stop you, but now you have to walk that out. You have to go through some things to get to the prize that God has in front of you.
Don’t stop along the way. Don’t water down your dreams because you had to set back. Don’t settle for less when there is abundance in front of you. This is the story of my mother. She just kept pressing forward despite what came against her. For the last few years, every Monday night, my mother and I would go to dinner, just the two of us. I’d do a Sirius XM radio show on Mondays, and she’d come to the studio and sit with me. Then we’d go to the cafeteria-that’s where she liked to eat. Over dinner, we’d talk about different things, just news and family.
About six months ago, I felt this desire to ask her about her life growing up and what she remembered. I started really probing and asking more personal questions. I asked about her having polio and wearing a brace. Did kids make fun of her? Did they bully her? She said, «Joel, a few did, but I didn’t pay any attention. So many people were good to me.»
I asked about meeting my father and what her parents thought when they started dating. My father had been married; he was divorced and had a child. This was 70 years ago, and I thought she’d have some kind of pushback. She said, «No, Joel, my parents were thrilled I was dating a minister. They loved John.» I asked about Lisa’s birth. Did she feel distraught? What did she think when the church asked her to leave those friends who betrayed her? What about when the doctors told her she had terminal cancer? I was trying to get some scoop, some tea, but I could not get her to say one negative thing. She said, «Joel, I’ve had a blessed life, and God has always seen me through.»
I realized my mother was good at letting things go. You can’t keep carrying negative baggage and live a victorious life dwelling on what they did, what wasn’t fair, or what didn’t work out. None of that negativity was in my mother’s spirit-no offense, no bitterness, no «Why did this happen?» She lived from a place of peace, a place of trust, with the knowing that God was bigger than anything that came against her. Last September, she had some digestive problems and had to have surgery to remove part of her colon. It’s a big deal at 91 years old. She had the surgery, and Paul and I went into the recovery room where she was lying there. When she finally came to and opened her eyes, I said, «Mother, you’re out of surgery. The doctor said it all went well.» She had this pleasant smile. The first thing she said was, «Jesus did it again.»
There was this gratefulness inside her. She was always bragging on what God had done. I told Paul, «Look at my mother lying there with all these tubes and gauze.» She looked like a warrior-so strong and resolute. It was like she was saying, «Devil, you are messing with the wrong person. I am God’s property.» Sure, you may walk through the valley of the shadow of death, but you don’t have to fear any evil, any sickness, or any unexpected trouble. Nothing can snatch you out of God’s hands. If it’s not your time to go, you’re not going to go. My mother was very independent; she never wanted anyone at her house for any kind of assistance.
When they dismissed her from the hospital, they said she couldn’t live alone. We got a team of skilled nurses to stay 24 hours a day, but my mother was not having that. That lasted three days. It wasn’t her life that was in danger; my life was in danger. When my mother was a child at school, the kids would go out at recess to play, but because of the polio and the brace on her leg, she was very limited. Years ago, a lady came up after service and said, «Dodie, do you remember me? We went to grade school together.» She told my mother her name, and Mother said, «I can’t believe that’s you!» They hadn’t seen each other in 70 years. She said, «You remember, Dodie?»
When we played baseball during recess, you were the batter. When you hit the ball, I was the one who would run the bases for you. My mother couldn’t run, but God will always send you someone to run the bases for you. God has the right people, divine connections that He’s going to bring across your path. He’s not only ordering your steps; He’s ordering the steps of the people you need. When you’re at a disadvantage and it seems like you’re stuck, God will cause the right people to find you. Jesus didn’t have the strength to carry the cross; Simon showed up and carried it for Him. Aaron and Hur held up Moses' hands when Moses was too tired.
When you’re weak, God will send people to be strong for you, to lift your arms. You’re not doing life on your own; God is watching over you. You may have had a lot come against you, but like God did for my mother, what He has purposed for your life will come to pass. That setback, the trouble, the sickness is not going to stop your purpose; it’s going to move you into your purpose. It’s a setup for God to show out in your life. The enemy wouldn’t be fighting you if you didn’t have something valuable. You carry the favor of God; you are destined to leave your mark, to set new standards, to break generational limitations, and to go where no one in your family has gone.
That’s why you have opposition. There’s an anointing on your life, an assignment that only you can fulfill. Paul said there’s a wide door of opportunity in front of me, but there are many adversaries. On the other side of the adversity is the new level of your destiny. Be strong and of good courage; the Lord your God is with you. My mother was a little self-conscious about that one leg being so much smaller than the other. She would wear longer dresses or pants to try to cover it up, and she had a little bit of a limp. One day, my father and this well-known minister were walking down the sidewalk, going to this building, and my mother was walking about 15 feet in front of them. This minister turned to my father and said, «John, look at Dodie. She walks like a princess.»
My mother had overheard that, and she had never heard anything about how good she was. That day, a stronghold was broken in her mind- all those thoughts: you’re inferior, you’re unattractive, you don’t measure up. Instead of believing those lies, she started believing, «I walk like a princess, I’m a masterpiece, I’m made in the image of God.» It was a turning point; instead of trying to hide her legs, she started showing them off. God is going to cause you to hear what you need to hear. He’s going to send the right people to speak words that will break strongholds that are limiting you. You need to know today: you are royalty. You have the DNA of Almighty God; He has crowned you with favor. People may have tried to push you down, but God is about to lift you up. It looks like you’re at a disadvantage, but things are about to shift in your favor. God is breathing on your life right now.
Now, do like my mother: don’t talk about the problem that didn’t work out; talk about the greatness of God. Keep your mind positive and faith-filled, knowing that God is working out His plan for your life. Another lesson I’ve learned from my mother was the power of prayer. She had seen God’s goodness, healing my sister Lisa from a birth injury and healing her from terminal cancer. She loved to pray for people. She told me, «Joel, this is my life. God has given me my health; now I get to help others.»
For years, she would go to the medical center every Tuesday and conduct a prayer and healing service. She would hold healing services once a month at Lakewood, and when COVID hit, she started doing the services via Zoom, praying for people all over the world. I have people come up to me all the time saying, «Your mother prayed; I don’t have cancer anymore.» They said, «I couldn’t have a baby, but your mother prayed, and we have this child.» The thing about my mother is she would pray for anything. If the dishwasher didn’t work, she would say, «I command you, dishwasher, in the name of Jesus, start working.» I would say, «Mother, it’s a dishwasher; let’s call a technician.»
How many times did I see things happen that I cannot explain? The scripture says you have not because you ask not. Sometimes we call a friend, call a neighbor, or call a technician. How about calling out to God? How about doing like my mother and praying some bold prayers? Things that don’t seem possible-get over your head. The medical report doesn’t look good. There’s another report that says God’s going to restore health back to you. Your child is off course. Don’t just pray, «God, don’t let him get harmed.» How about, «God, help him fulfill his destiny»? A bold prayer.
One time, we were coming home from a Night of Hope, and we landed at 2:30 in the morning. We were all so tired and ready to get home, and our cars were over to the side right by the gate. We got everything unloaded, but my mother’s car wouldn’t start; it looked like the battery was dead. So, I pulled my car up, got some jumper cables, and we tried to start hers, but nothing-not even a budge. We waited about ten minutes hoping it would charge and tried again; still nothing. A technician came out from the airport with tools and did a couple of things, but no luck. Finally, I said, «Mother, come on, ride with me. I’ll take you home, and I’ll come back tomorrow and work on it.» She said, «No, Joel, I need my car tonight.» She was 84 years old; she wasn’t going out to dinner, but we went over and worked on it some more.
Now it was 3 in the morning, and we had church the next night, a whole weekend. I said, «Mother, it’s not going to start; I promise you I’ll take care of it.» She said, «Joel, give me the keys.» She went over to the front of her car, put her hands on it, and said, «I command you to start in the name of Jesus.» That technician turned around and went right back into the building; he thought we were crazy, and I was so embarrassed. My mother got in the car, turned the ignition, and it started like it had never had a problem. There were five of us standing there, looking at each other like, «What just happened?» The funny thing is my mother never rolled down the window, never said, «Thank you for trying; good night.» She just sped off, but she didn’t drive toward the exit; she drove toward the plane. She started going around in circles two or three times like she was going to do donuts. Then she drove away, leaving us in the dust.
I thought, number one, that’s a great miracle; number two, we’re about to go to jail. But my mother had a different perspective. I was trying to do it naturally, thinking, «Man, I’ll pray about spiritual things, » but my mother thought, «I’ll pray about this car.» The scripture says God will perfect that which concerns you. My mother was concerned; she wanted her car to go home that night. She was bold enough to ask. I learned from my mother to ask for what concerns me, to take the limits off of God, and to pray bold prayers. What looks impossible in your life? What obstacle seems too big? Have you ever asked God to make it happen? Have you ever prayed, «God, do what I can’t do»?
Think about Moses. He lifted up his rod, believing that the sea would open up. Joshua believed that the walls would fall, not with equipment, not with force, but with a shout. They didn’t just pray for salvation, pray for healing, or pray for wisdom. That’s all good, but they prayed for things that were out of the ordinary. If it’s something to help you accomplish your dreams and fulfill your destiny, you need to have the boldness to pray for it. Don’t just pray, «Help me to get by, » or «Help me to make it through» prayers; pray for some Red Seas to part. Pray for walls to fall, for provision in the desert, for your car to start at the airport. When we heard that the compact center was becoming available, all the odds were against us in the natural. We didn’t have a chance. It was that same spirit of faith that I saw in my mother that rose up in me. I’d seen her pray these bold prayers and how God had healed her from terminal cancer.
I said, «God, do it for us. Give us the compact center. Make ways where we don’t see a way.» God caused things to fall into place, and the right people gave us the funds. Here we are today. I can say, «Thank you, Lord, » and thank you, Mother, for being an example of bold faith-believing when it seems impossible, taking the limits off of God. I was growing up; there were five of us kids in the house, and my mother always wanted a swimming pool. She talked to my father about it, but he was completely against it. He said, «We don’t have the funds. Even if we did, it’s too much trouble. It’s a big headache.»
On and on that went, in one ear and out the other. My mother was stubborn; I mean, she was determined. She kept asking my father, and he kept saying no. One day she was in the backyard with a tape measure, trying to figure things out, and Daddy went out. «Dodie, what are you doing out here?» She said, «I’m trying to determine where we’re going to put the swimming pool.» My father said, «Dodie, I’ve told you a thousand times, we’re not going to get a pool.» What my father didn’t realize was that my mother had been praying. Sometimes when we’re talking to people, we need to talk to God. He controls the universe.
One Sunday, my parents were at church, and afterward, this couple came up from out of town. They started speaking, and my father asked the man what he did for a living. He said, «I have a company that builds swimming pools.» My mother’s eyes lit up, and she said, «How you doing, old buddy, yo pal?» He said, «I drove all this way because I want to build you a swimming pool.» My father said, «Oh, that’s so nice. You’re so kind, but we can’t really afford it now. We don’t have the budget.» He said, «You’re not going to have to pay; I’ll give it to you.»
That summer, we had a brand new pool. The first time my dad came out to swim, my mother said, «John, don’t even think about getting in my pool.» What I learned from my mother was to hold on to the promises God put in your heart. Keep believing, even when people try to talk you out of it. Put actions behind your faith. May God see you out there measuring and making plans for what He promised you. It may not be a swimming pool, but you’re believing for healing from an illness, freedom from an addiction, or a child that’s off course. There will be a time of testing when the naysayers show up. Doubt comes knocking: «It’s too late. It’s too big. It’s not going to happen.» Do like my mother; tune all that out and keep reminding God what He promised.
See, the swimming pool wasn’t a big deal; it wasn’t necessary. But years later, when my mother was facing terminal cancer, it was that same tenacity, that same unshakable faith, that my mother tapped into. God healed her, and she lived 44 more years, healthy and whole. If my mother were here today, she would remind you, «Don’t let go of what God promised you. Keep believing, even though it doesn’t look like anything’s changing.» What you can’t see is that things are happening behind the scenes. The right people are already en route. The healing, the freedom, the breakthrough are going to track you down. I was out of town Monday on Victoria’s book tour and got home Tuesday evening. Lisa texted me and said Mother wasn’t feeling well. I called her around 8 that night.
«Mama, how are you doing?» She said, «Joel, I’m fine, but I’m just fighting a little nausea.» We talked for a couple of minutes, and of course, I tried to encourage her. This may sound odd, but typically I don’t pray with my mother on the phone; I pray for her in my quiet time all the time. But for some reason, I said, «Mother, let me pray for you tonight.» I prayed that God would give her strength and healing. She said, «Joel, thank you so much.» I said, «Mama, I love you, and I’ll see you tomorrow.» She said, «I love you, Joel.» She laid down to go to bed, and a couple of hours later, she breathed her last breath and woke up in heaven.
What an amazing life she lived-91 years overcoming adversity, beating cancer, praying for so many others. All five of her children are in ministry. She lived a blessed, happy, and grateful life. While her passing is sad and we’re going to miss her, it’s so much easier when there are no regrets. The last thing I told my mother was, «I love you.» That’s the last thing she said to me. Take time for the people you love. Life is fragile. She got 91 years; that’s a full life. The scripture says our life is like a mist; we’re here for a moment, then we’re gone. Life is too short to live offended, not speaking, and letting petty issues pull us apart. The people God has given you are not going to be there forever. Give flowers while they’re still living. Tell them what they mean to you while they can still hear it.
It was kind of prophetic when I told my mother, «Good night, I’ll see you tomorrow, » because in heaven, there’s no time. When I arrive 50 years from now, it’s going to be like, «There you are, Joel. You said you’d be here tomorrow.» But my prayer is that my mother’s life of faith and courage will inspire us to make our lives count. She was a powerful force in our church family, not just because she was a founder, but because she was a prayer warrior, praying hours each day-a great example of the goodness of God, always telling people what God had done. She fulfilled her course. Her race down here came to an end.
Now, we must step up. We need some new prayer warriors, more people who will be examples of faith and godliness, more families to be planted in the house of the Lord. My mother was always in church cheering me on. I know I’m her son, but how about cheering on the next generation, inspiring those around you to draw closer to God, to live a life worthy of His calling? We need you plugged in, committed, on fire, being a blessing. My mother, my father, and the early members helped bring us to where we are, but they passed the baton. Where are the new Mama Dodis, the next generation of faithful, courageous, holy, favor-filled people? I know where they are; I’m looking at them. That’s you. That’s me. God is counting on us to carry the torch for the next season.
Let’s run well. Let’s run focused, shaking off things that are holding us back. Don’t live distracted, letting people and compromise keep you from your purpose. Make the most of each day. As we celebrate my mom’s passing, that door closing, can I encourage you that new doors are about to open? The greatest days of your life and the greatest days of Lakewood are still in front of you. Like my mother, the adversity is not going to stop you; it’s going to propel you. Pray bold prayers. Hold on to those promises. I believe and declare you’re going to see God show out in your life in ways you’ve never seen-uncommon favor, fighting your battles, healing, promotion, breakthroughs, the fullness of your destiny, in Jesus' name. And if you receive it, can you say amen?