Joel Osteen - Dealing With Ugly Situations

We’re looking today at how God deals with the ugly situations in life—the betrayals, losses, and hardships we never saw coming—and how He uses them to bring something beautiful, drawing from Jacob’s story of working for Rachel but waking up with Leah, showing that these difficult times are necessary to reach our full destiny and even bring forth greater purposes like the lineage of the Messiah.

Good, Bad, and Downright Ugly Times

I want to talk to you today about dealing with ugly situations. In life we all face the good, the bad, and the ugly. We love the good times where we are seeing God’s favor and doors are opening. We can handle the bad—we did not get the contract, a neighbor is talking about us; that is just life happening. But there are some situations the only way to describe them is ugly. An ugly medical report we never thought we would be facing. Or an ugly breakup—someone we counted on walked away. Or an ugly addiction.

It is easy to get discouraged and think, «God, where were You?» But God will not allow a difficulty if He is not going to use it for your purpose.

Everything Serves God’s Bigger Plan

The scripture says everything is serving His plan. Not just the good times, the promotion, the blessings, but even the ugly times when it is not fair, when life throws us a curve. If you will go through the suffering with the right attitude, through that hardship trusting that God is in control, then God will make something beautiful out of the ugly. You will go to levels of your destiny that you could have never reached by just living in the good times.

These ugly seasons are uncomfortable; we would prefer to never have to deal with them, but they are necessary to become all you were created to be. See, you do not grow as much in the good times; it is in the difficult times you are stretched, your faith can increase, your trust, your endurance.

How Distress Makes You Bigger

David said (Psalm 4:1), «God, You enlarged me in my distress.» Not «enlarged me when I was comfortable, when everyone was celebrating me,» but «You enlarged me when I was chased by Saul through the desert and I had done nothing wrong. You enlarged me when my own father did not think I would amount to anything. You enlarged me when people I had been good to were slandering me, trying to ruin my reputation.»

None of us like the ugly seasons, but that is when God does some of His greatest work, preparing you for something that you have never seen.

Jacob’s Dream Girl: Rachel the Stunner

And that is what happened with Jacob. He had just moved to a new city, and he was working for his uncle, a man named Laban. Laban had two daughters, Rachel and Leah. Rachel was extremely attractive; she was stunning. The scripture (Genesis 29:17) says, «She was beautiful in every way, with a lovely face and a shapely figure.» Everyone admired her beauty; she was a knockout.

But her older sister, Leah, not so much. Verse 17 says, «Leah had weak eyes.» One translation says, «Leah was dull looking.» Rachel got all this physical beauty, but Leah was unattractive. And it is not often that the scripture describes someone’s physical appearance; this has a deeper meaning, because every person is a masterpiece, made in the image of God. But the symbolism here is Rachel is beautiful, and Leah is ugly.

Love at First Sight — And a Tough Deal

Well, when Jacob saw Rachel, he did not think twice; it was love at first sight. He thought, «I am going to marry this girl.» In those days women were treated almost like property; you had to buy them. Jacob went to Laban and said, «I will make a deal with you: I will work for you seven years if you will let me marry Rachel.» Laban shook his hand and said, «You have a deal. Seven years and she is yours.»

Well, Jacob was so in love he could not wait for the seven years to pass. He worked hard and was faithful; he increased Laban’s flocks. Because of Jacob, Laban became a wealthy man. And Jacob was glad to do it. He knew something better was coming in return; this beautiful Rachel was about to be his wife.

The Wedding Night Shock Nobody Saw Coming

Well, the seven years came to an end; Laban had this big wedding, big ceremony. All these family and friends gathered. Back then the bride wore a very thick veil; you could not see who it was. Well, after the ceremony they had all the dancing, all the partying; finally the night ended. Jacob went home a married man. He woke up the next morning, looked over in bed, but it was not Rachel—it was Leah.

He nearly passed out. He did not see the beautiful face he dreamed about; he saw weak eyes staring at him. No offense, but he did not work that hard, that long for something that dull. He went straight to Laban, said, «This is not what we agreed to. I did not ask for the unattractive one; I asked for the beautiful one.»

Prayed for Rachel? Woke Up With Leah?

How many times have we prayed for Rachel, but we got Leah? Like Jacob, we worked hard, we did the right thing, we were expecting Rachel—favor, promotion, good breaks—but Leah showed up, something unfair that we did not see coming. Well, Laban was dishonest; he did not keep his word, but in his defense in those days the father was responsible for giving the oldest daughter in marriage first. That was the tradition, that was being an honorable father, not overlooking the older.

Laban said to Jacob, «If you will work for me another seven years, then I will give you Rachel.» Jacob was not happy about it, but he agreed. He worked seven more years in an unfair situation; he was taken advantage of. It might have been protocol, but Laban should have told him and not tricked him.

Passing the Test in an Unfair Situation

But here is the key: Jacob did not complain; he was not disrespectful to Leah. She was not his choice; he did not blame her, «Why are you unattractive? You are not who I wanted.» He did the right thing when it was hard; he kept being his best in an ugly situation. No one would have faulted him for walking away, being bitter. He could have cut corners, kept some of the profits, come in late.

But those next seven years Jacob increased Laban’s flocks more than the first seven. He was faithful when it did not make sense. At the end of the seven years he married Rachel; he saw that promise come to pass. Rachel represents what we are believing for: our dreams, good health, joy, peace, abundance.

Leah Shows Up First — And It’s On Purpose

We all want Rachel, but often Leah shows up first, something that we did not want, what is unattractive. What you do in the ugly situations will determine whether you get stuck there or you come into the beautiful things God has for you. You may be in one of those ugly times now; things have not turned out the way you had planned. You can get bitter, give up on your dreams, or you can do like Jacob and do the right thing when it is unfair.

Keep being your best when life throws you a curve; Rachel is coming. What God promised you is still en route. Leah is a test; the ugly situation is where you have to prove to God what you are made of. Anyone can get sour and «Forget you, Laban; this is unfair,» but if you do not deal with Leah properly, you will never see Rachel.

Why Ugly Had to Come Before Beautiful

It was necessary that Leah came first. It was not a coincidence; that is just how the story panned out—it was ordained by God. We cannot see it at the time how any good can come out of this ugly situation where we were betrayed, we are dealing with an illness, we lost a loved one. It may not be fair, but without it you could not become all you were created to be.

It is depositing something in you; it is stretching you, getting you prepared for things greater than you have imagined.

The Shocking Twist: Messiah From Leah!

Jacob married Rachel, and he married Leah. He had two wives, but he never really loved Leah. The scripture says that Leah was disliked; she felt unwanted. She had baby after baby, thinking that would cause Jacob to change his mind and really fall in love, but Jacob never did. He was respectful, but he did not show her much affection, did not spend much time with her. He loved Rachel; he was drawn to her beauty, her smile, the way she made him feel.

Well, over time both Rachel and Leah had children. Leah had a son named Judah; it was thousands of years later the Messiah would come through the tribe of Judah. Jesus was born through Leah’s family line. Out of this ugly situation came something magnificent, something Jacob could not see at the time.

God Uses What We Don’t Like

All he saw was Laban tricking him, «This is not what we agreed to; I wanted the beautiful daughter, now the unattractive one,» but you do not know what God is up to. Leah was necessary. If Jacob did not have Leah, the ugly situation, we would not have the Messiah. God uses things that we do not like. He would not have allowed it if there was not a purpose.

We do not understand it; all we know is, «We prayed for Rachel. We did our best, we worked hard, but this business partner cheated us, our child got in trouble, we did not see this medical report coming; Leah showed up.» Can I encourage you? Leah is necessary. God is working behind the scenes. Stay in faith, keep trusting; you will not see Rachel if you do not deal with Leah properly.

Beautiful Things From Ugly Roots

The fact is God could have had Rachel give birth to Judah; it seems to make more sense—the beautiful girl, the attractive one—but God was showing us how He uses ugly situations to do something beautiful, something that you would have never seen without the betrayal, without the loss, without the adversity.

Genesis 49: Jacob was an old man and about to pass; he called his children in, spoke blessings. He gathered his loved ones around and gave them one final instruction. He said in verse 29, «Soon I am going to die. Bury me in the cave of Machpelah, where my grandfather and father are buried. For there I buried Leah.»

«Bury Me Next to Leah» — The Final Words

In those days it was very important where you were laid to rest. It was not an afterthought; you would have put much time and effort into it. It had great meaning and significance. Is it not interesting that Jacob did not say, «Bury me next to Rachel. Make sure I am beside that woman that was so beautiful, that I loved and admired»? No, Jacob said, «Bury me next to Leah.»

He was saying in effect, «When I look back over my life, I realized: Leah was necessary. I was uncomfortable, I did not choose it, it is not what I expected, but I would not have become who I am without Leah.»

The Ugly Moments That Shape Us Most

When we come to the end of life, we are going to realize it was not just the good breaks that got us to where we are, the open doors, the happy times—it was the Leahs, the things we did not like, that were not fair. These ugly moments where we did the right thing, we stayed faithful, we trusted even though it did not make sense. That is where we grew; that is where our faith got stronger.

You may be dealing with a Leah now, something you do not understand. Have the right perspective: it is necessary. You could not become who you were created to be without it. Do not fight it; embrace it. It is not stopping you; it is preparing you.

Something Beautiful Is Always Coming

God would not have allowed that Leah, that ugly situation, if He did not have something beautiful coming. Judah came out of Leah. God chose to bring His only Son through an ugly situation, through the lineage of Leah. Your situation may be far from beautiful. You were promised Rachel, but you got Leah. You do not know what God is up to. Trust Him when you do not understand.

Being in an ugly situation does not mean God is not working. We would not have the Messiah if it was not for Leah. Without that difficulty, you could not become who you were created to be.

Taking Up Your Cross Isn’t Optional

And I am not saying it is going to be easy. You are not going to feel like having a good attitude when things are not fair, and being good to people that were not good to you, staying in faith when the medical report is not improving. But if it was easy, everyone would do it.

The people that come out of the ugly into the beautiful are the people that have a made-up mind, people that say, «I am not moved by who did me wrong, what did not work out, what was not fair. I know this ugly situation is a sign that something beautiful is coming.»

Cross First, Then Resurrection

Jesus said in Matthew 16:24, «Take up your cross and follow Me.» We pray for blessings, favor, health—that is good—but none of us pray for a cross. We want Rachel, not Leah. But there are levels of your destiny you cannot reach without taking up your cross. You will not see Rachel until you have encountered Leah.

Now, taking up your cross is not some sad, defeated, suffering life. We are supposed to live an abundant, joyful, victorious life. But sure there will be crosses—betrayals, unfair situations, dealing with an addiction. Leah will show up. We do not like it; we are uncomfortable, but you have to do like Jacob: do not get bitter, keep doing the right thing when it is hard, endure when you feel like giving up, stay in peace when you could be worried. That is what it means to take up your cross.

Leah Pushed Joel Into His Purpose

You are in an ugly situation, but you are not moved; you know it is all working for your good. And we hear a lot about the suffering, the burden, the pain, but you have to realize the cross is not the end of your story; there is a resurrection coming. When you take up your cross, it is leading to blessing, favor, health, levels of your destiny you could have never reached without the adversity.

Leah had to happen. Leah was necessary for your purpose. For seventeen years I worked behind the scenes here at Lakewood, doing the television production. I enjoyed making my father look good; I thought that is what I would do the rest of my life. My father and I were the best of friends and had a beautiful wife, two young children; life was good. Then Leah showed up: my father had a heart attack and suddenly went to be with the Lord.

My Darkest Hour Became My Brightest

And I did not see that coming; I thought Daddy would be here another twenty years, but unexpectedly he was gone. I found myself in an ugly situation. It was painful; there was so much uncertainty, «What is going to happen to Lakewood?» I knew I was supposed to step up and pastor, but I was afraid; I did not feel qualified, plus I was dealing with the loss of my father.

I liked the way it was before, with Rachel—everything beautiful—but sometimes God will send Leah to push you into your purpose. If my father was still here, I would have never stepped up. I was comfortable where I was. Do you know what brought the gifts out that I never knew I had? Not Rachel, not the good times, but Leah.

I thought losing my father would be my darkest hour, but in fact it launched me into my brightest hour. God was working in the loss, in the pain, in the trouble. He was using Leah to get me to Rachel, to a level of my destiny I would have never seen without that ugly situation.

Joseph: From Pit to Palace Via Ugly

When I come to the end of life, I can say with Jacob, «Bury me next to Leah,» because if I had not had that loss, I would have never stepped up to who I was created to be. Without Leah I would have never become a pastor, never had the Compaq Center, never written a book.

What am I saying? Do not complain about Leah—what was unfair, the loss, the breakup. That ugly situation is leading to something beautiful. Out of Leah’s lineage came the Messiah. Out of your ugly seasons you are going to give birth to amazing things—talent, favor, opportunity that you have never dreamed.

We see this in the scripture with Joseph. As a teenager God gave him a dream that he would be in leadership and people would bow down before him. Like Jacob, he had this promise that Rachel is coming, something beautiful. Joseph was being his best, honoring God; then Leah showed up—his brothers were jealous, they threw him into a pit.

Betrayal Was Part of the Plan

«We are going to leave him there,» but they ended up selling him as a slave in Egypt. I am sure Joseph thought, «God, You gave me this dream, You promised me Rachel, but now I am a slave in a foreign country.» He dreamed of something beautiful, but he was facing something ugly.

Before you see Rachel, often you will have to deal with Leah. How you handle the betrayals, the loss, the delays—that will determine whether you see Rachel. It is easy to get sour, put the chip on your shoulder, «God, You healed my mother; why did You not heal my father?» Or like David, «God, my own family has turned on me.»

Those ugly times are not random; that is not happenstance—that is a sign God is up to something. God knows what He promised you, and He knows what He put in you that you do not even realize; it is all working for your good.

Can God Trust You in the Ugly?

Joseph kept being his best, doing the right thing, and he was falsely accused and put in prison. One day the Pharaoh had a dream that he could not interpret. They told him about a slave, a foreigner in prison, a man named Joseph, how he could interpret dreams. Joseph was brought before the Pharaoh, the leader of the country; he interpreted his dream. He was so impressed that he made Joseph the prime minister of Egypt.

Joseph saw his dream come to pass: in leadership, with people bowing down before him. If Joseph were here today he would tell you: my brothers being jealous was necessary, the betrayal was necessary, being falsely accused was necessary. Leah had to happen. Without the ugly situation he would have never seen Rachel; it was all a part of God’s plan.

I know you can trust God, but my question is: can He trust you? Can God count on you to do the right thing in the ugly situations—things that are not fair—when you pray for Rachel but Leah shows up? Will you be like Joseph and keep being your best? That is passing the test.

Lakewood’s Birth From an Ugly Beginning

I cannot promise you that if you stay in faith you will always see Rachel—blessings, favor, beautiful, attractive. You cannot reach your destiny without Leah. But I can promise you that if you will endure with a good attitude, go through the suffering with a smile, praising instead of complaining, then all those things that look like they would stop you will end up thrusting you into your purpose.

You will be able to say like Jacob, «Bury me next to Leah. I could not have become who I was created to be without the ugly situation.» The things you did not like but you passed the test—you did the right thing when it was hard—and you give birth to your Judah, something greater than you have imagined.

Back in the late 1950s my father was the pastor of a successful church. They had just built a new sanctuary that held a thousand people, and that was uncommon for back then. He was on the state board for his denomination, on his way up; the future looked so bright. Then Leah showed up. My sister was born with a birth injury, something like cerebral palsy.

How One Tragedy Launched a Ministry

The doctors told my parents she would probably never be able to walk or feed herself. They were devastated. My father began to read the scripture in a new light. He was taught that God does not heal today; you just have to accept it as His will, that miracles and healing were only for Bible days. But he read in Hebrews where it says, «Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.» That lit a new fire on the inside.

And he came back to his church with this new message of faith and victory and how when we believe all things are possible. He thought everyone would be excited. It was just the opposite. Some people did not like it; it did not fit into their tradition. And there was so much contention and strife that my parents had to resign.

They left that church that they had spent years pouring their heart and soul into. They never saw that coming; life was good, then their whole world was turned upside down. They could have been discouraged, «God, we do not understand it,» but like Jacob they did the right thing when it was not fair. They did not get bitter; they did not talk badly about the people. They went out and started Lakewood with ninety people in a rundown feed store.

Beauty Rising From the Ashes

It was just a fraction of the amount they had before, but they just kept loving those people, caring for them, faithful when it did not make sense. At nine months old my sister Lisa lifted her head off the bed for the first time, something my parents were told she would never be able to do. Little by little she got better and better; of course you know today Lisa is perfectly healthy, one of our leaders on staff, one of our pastors.

The critics said that Lakewood would never make it, but sixty-five years later it is still going strong. Here is my point: there never would have been a Lakewood without a Leah, an ugly situation. My parents did not like it, but Leah was necessary. Without my sister’s birth injury my father would have never discovered the fullness of the Spirit; that is what launched him into who we are today.

Trust Him — Beautiful Is Coming!

And God does not send the trouble; He does not send the sickness, but if He allows it, He is going to somehow use it for good. And you may be facing a Leah today, something you do not understand. You know God promised you Rachel, but things have not turned out the way you thought; it looks like God did not keep His word.

Can I encourage you? Rachel is still coming. God is working behind the scenes. This is a test; this is when you have to prove to God that you are not going to get discouraged and give up. What if you knew it had to happen, that you could not reach your destiny without Leah? I know we love Rachel—the beautiful, the comfortable—but without Leah you will not see the greater things God has for you.

It was through Leah’s lineage, through her son Judah, that we have the Messiah. God knows how to bring beautiful things out of ugly situations. I am asking you to trust Him when you do not understand. Do the right thing when you are uncomfortable.

One day you will look back and say like Jacob, «Bury me next to Leah.» All those things you did not like, you had to endure, suffer through—you realize they made you into who you are. If you will do this, I believe and declare: like God did for Jacob, you are not only going to see your Rachels—the blessing, favor, healing—but God is going to take those ugly situations and make something amazing out of them. You will rise higher, accomplish dreams, and reach the fullness of your destiny, in Jesus' name.

And if you receive it, can you say amen?