Joel Osteen - Stay Positive Toward Yourself

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TOPICS: 15 Ways to Live Longer and Healthier, Self-esteem

We all want to lead happy and healthy lives, we want relationships to thrive and minds to be at peace, but when it comes to living a full joyful faith filled life, there's one relationship that makes all the difference. It's the relationship that impacts every area of your life. This person is the common denominator in your job, your friendships, your health, I'm talking about you. Your relationship with yourself has an incredible influence on your mental, spiritual, and physical well-being. Too many people do not like who they are. They focus on their faults and weaknesses, they relive their mistakes and failures, they wish they were different, they were taller and had a better personality or look more like their cousin, instead of accepting themselves as a masterpiece made in the image of God they are critical towards themselves and they wonder why they are not happy or why they do not have good relationships, it's because they do not like themselves.

If you do not get along with you you're not going to get along with other people. Jesus said to love your neighbor as you love yourself. You cannot love others if you do not first love yourself. The best thing you can do for your family and your friends is to be good to you, be kind to you, be merciful to you, be forgiving to you, you are good to others why aren't you good to you? You do not criticize your friend why are you criticizing you? You compliment your coworkers, when was the last time you complimented yourself? You admire other people's talents, why don't you admire your talents? Start being good to you, that's not being selfish or arrogant, that's loving yourself. I heard someone say I discovered the enemy it was me. Are you your enemy, are you defeating yourself? Limiting your dreams of sabotaging your relationships, all because you don't like yourself?

You wake up in the morning don't lie in bed and you think of everything that's wrong with you, what you don't like your looks, don't relive your mistakes, instead of focusing on what's wrong with you, start focusing on what's right with you. You may have weaknesses and you made mistakes, we all have. But there's a lot more right with you than there is wrong with you. Dwelling on the negative does not help you to do better. Beating yourself up for past mistakes does not move you forward, the better you feel about yourself, the better you will do. The more you like yourself the further you will go. You cannot give away what you do not have. If you are in turmoil on the inside, critical of yourself, angry, condemned, then that's what you have to give. If you are hard on yourself, then you will be hard on others. You don't forgive yourselves, you will not forgive others. If you do not get along with you, how can you get along with your family?

Best thing you can do is start being for yourself, when you love yourself you can love others. When you're kind to yourself you can be kind to others, it starts with you. You may think whelchel have all these faults and weaknesses once I overcome them once I learned to control my temper and be more disciplined stop saying things I shouldn't then I won't be down to myself, if you're waiting to perform perfectly before you feel good about yourself you will be waiting your whole life. You have to accept yourself while you're in the process of changing. God knew you would have weaknesses when he made you. You are not a surprise to him. He's not sitting on his throne in heaven scratching his head going I did not see that coming, they are a mess.

What am I going to do? He knows the things you would struggle with. You are not supposed to beat yourself up because you have not arrived yet. I don't know one person who has arrived. There will always be some area in which we need to improve. In fact I believe God will leave weaknesses in our lives on purpose so we have to depend on them. He's changing you from glory to glory and learning to enjoy the glory that you are in right now. You may not be where you want to be, you are not what you used to be. Instead of looking at how far you have to go you need to look back and thank God for how far he's already brought you. It takes a mature person to say I'm okay with where I am, while I'm on the way to where God is taking me. We all need to change and grow but I'm not focused on my shortcomings and reliving my failures, doubting myself because of past mistakes, I know I am forgiven.

I am redeemed, I'm a masterpiece I am made in the image of God, you cannot become who you were created to be if you are negative toward yourself. Yes there are forces trying to stop us, but I wonder if you are your enemy, circumstances may be against you, people will come against you, you can overcome those things, the problem is if you are against yourself, if you are negative toward you, that can keep you from your destiny. Start acknowledging the good, stepping into your potential, showing off the talent, don't be your enemy, be your asset, you say Lord thank you for helping me to shine, thank you for my gifts, thank you for taking me where I've never dreamed, that's when your faith is made effective. You're going to see new doors opening and new opportunities. You may be good at complimenting others, but now you need to get good at complimenting yourself. Stay positive toward yourself, and watch what happens.

I found that I am at my happiest and healthiest when I'm with people who inspired me to pursue God's best. My wife Victoria is an incredible voice of wisdom and encouragement in my life and in the lives of so many others. I wanted to sit down with her and discuss some of the strategies that have helped our church, our family and our relationships go stronger and healthier over the years.

Joel Osteen: We are talking about staying positive toward yourself so many people do not realize that they have a negative recording playing in their mind all day and I think Victoria some of it is just the way they were raised, I mean it's not unusual for them to just think I'm unattractive or not that talented or I will never meet the right person, but as long as you are negative toward yourself it's limiting your potential and you're not going to become who God has created you to be and I don't think it's meaning to be arrogant but it's been playing in my mind all day and I learned growing up and I definitely learned from the scripture but I blessed talented and strong, I'm healthy a good day, staying positive toward yourself is not being arrogant. It's what's going to help you reach your destiny it's not only believe in God but believing in who God made you to be.

Victoria Osteen: That's right, because God made you to be a masterpiece. Think about if your child came up and started saying negative things about themselves, you would be like no wait a minute. And so I'm sure when we do that, God you know he's wanting to say no read my words, read what my word says but sometimes we can be negative about ourselves and we don't really mean it but I ran into it's a funny story, I ran into a mother and her daughter at the store the other day and I had no makeup on and had my hair pulled back I just worked out and I ran in the store for a few minutes and the mother came up to me and she said all my daughter is here as she goes to Lakewood and she goes liquid. And so then the daughter came up and said, "Hi how are you doing", as I was talking and I said, "I'm sorry you all, I look terrible today", and she said, "We don't talk about ourselves that way". And I started laughing and I said, "You've been listening to Joel". But you know sometimes we do, we just think that I don't know if you're making an excuse for ourselves or we are just trying to you know say things that you know we don't always mean, but it's true, we can just say that when you don't even realize what we're doing, we don't realize what we are saying. And so I think that's so important that we check ourselves like that and what is coming out of our mouth about ourselves.

Joel Osteen: And what are we thinking about ourselves I think I mentioned when I was growing up every morning before I went to school my mother would pray over us and pray Psalm 91 and she would always talk about the favor of God and are well able and of course I heard that coming from my father as well, but that's the kind of recording that should be playing in our mind all the time, it's funny I was watching Jonathan and I play tennis some and we recorded a game and we were watching some of the match, but I just thought it was funny I found myself fast forwarding through it through the mistakes and the times I messed up and I just watched my good points and all, but I thought about in life, sometimes we remember the negative and the failures and I remember the shot looking down on ourselves but sometimes we have to fast-forward through some of the disappointments of the mistakes but to me you have enough people in life against you, don't be against yourself. I mean sometimes the enemy does not have to do his job, we do it for him just being negative towards ourselves.

My encouragement is do not ever say another negative thing about yourself. You're talking about I played basketball with a guy and every time he missed the shot he would say I am an idiot I am an idiot, and you know he was always joking but I thought you know how many times you've called yourself an idiot thousands of times and we are made in the image of God and God did not make any mistakes and so I think one of the best things we can do is check that recording what's playing in our mind what is that default setting? My father always told the story a friend of ours growing up had a son that was in like junior high and he played on the defense so my dad went to a game with his friend and they were setting up in the stands and at one point his son caught the ball on the defense, it was a punt and it was not supposed to go to him but it was a short punt and he caught the ball and took one move to the left of one move to the right and he was clobbered.

10 people tackled him, he did not get one yard but his dad looked at my father and said pastor Osteen did you see those two good moves? And it was kind of almost comical because my dad did not laugh but looking back it's like it was one, two, and he was down he did not gain any but it was the way God sees us he sees the two good moves and that's the way the Heavenly Father sees us. I think sometimes we say no I saw myself get clobbered by the defense. Have the right recording and image of how you see yourself. That's how we will reach our potential, you all heard my story about how I stepped up to minister. Everybody told me I couldn't do it, you don't have the talent, you are not as dynamic as your father, I had to tune all that out, if I would have believed what the negative thoughts were telling me I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing today. I wonder if you're being limited because you're against yourself, it may not happen overnight but you can change it one thought at a time, you know what I'm not going to be negative toward myself I may make mistakes but about failure learning and moving forward and focus on those good things and remind yourself everyday I'm made in the image of God I'm a masterpiece and well able to have everything I need to fulfill my destiny.

God has given us each different personalities and temperaments and gifts, you have to accept who God made you to be. Sure there are areas in which you can improve and grow but there are certain things that make you who you are. I am naturally quiet and reserved, my personality is laid back and easy-going and I seldom lose my temper that's all natural to me. Years ago when my father was to be with the Lord I knew I was supposed to step up and be pastor the church but I do not feel qualified. My father had a strong personality. It was dynamic and powerful. I thought I don't have those traits, I cannot minister like him. But when we compare I think we have to be like somebody else or we can feel short changed like we are at a disadvantage about as talented as they are, I can never be like that.

Here's the key God has given you what you need to fulfill your destiny. If you need a different personality he was given you one. If you needed different gifts and strakes at looks, different parents, it would've happened. Quit comparing yourself to others and run your race. I was tempted to feel inferior and not strong enough or good enough. I had to tune all that out and use what God had given me. I discovered my gifts fit me. My personality and my talent and strength, my temperament, they are all right, for my assignment. I don't have to be as loud as he was, that worked for him, that's who he was, but God makes us individuals. You have to be comfortable in your own skin. Comfortable with who God made you to be. Do not covet what somebody else has you are equipped for your race. Walk in your annointing, be confident with your gifts and let your personality shine. There's not another person in this world like you. The enemy would love for us to go through life trying to be an imitation.

Copying someone else you think is more attractive, more gifted and more successful. Be you, you are not annointed to be someone else the anointing in your life that favors and blessing is to be you. When I stepped up to minister I was not like my father. What I thought was a weakness, being more calm and laid back this was actually a strength. Half the people who watch our services say they've never been to church and never listened to a minister on television. The way I am, the way God made my personality, it draws different people. I wonder if you are fighting what makes you unique. Are you frustrated over what you think is a weakness when in fact it's a strength? Quit wishing you are different step into what God made you to be. He does not accidentally give you the wrong personality and wrong gifts. He did not make you too quiet or too be outgoing, he matched you with your world. You have exactly what you need to fulfill your destiny.

So many times we are our greatest critics. Most of us would not dream of being as hard on others as we are on ourselves. You would not go to a coworker say hey you are not looking so good today, those clothes do not do anything for you. You may think it but you would not say it. Why are you criticizing yourself? When you criticize you, you're criticizing God's creation. Might as well look up and say God, you did not do a good job on me. No he does not make mistakes. Don't say another negative word about yourself. Don't say I'm so undisciplined, I cannot do anything right. I don't have a good personality. Never lose this weight, or break this addiction. Zip that up, quit being against yourself. You don't need another enemy be as good to yourself as you are to others. Be kind to yourself, be mericful to yourself, be loving to yourself.

You get up in the morning and look in the mirror, instead of saying oh I'm getting so old, look at all these wrinkles it's all downhill from here. Try a different approach, say I'm made in the image of God. I'm a masterpiece. I have royal blood flowing in my veins. A friend of mine is a pastor at a church in another state. For years he would call me every Sunday after our service and tell me how good my message was he's very encouraging. Several years later he went to an interview with me. I had not done many interviews like this one before, I was very nervous, when I finished it, and we got in the car... The first thing I said was I think I did very well. I said exactly what I wanted to say. I don't think I could've done it any better. He told me later how that conversation changed his life. When he saw how positive I was toward myself, he realized what his problem was. He had never once told himself that he had done well. It was always encouraging others, but after his services he would drive, hold discouraged, and focus on everything he did wrong.

When he heard me say I did well, the stronghold was broken. The scripture says our faith is made effective when we acknowledge everything good. You cannot go around constantly acknowledging the negative, the weaknesses, the times you did not measure up, your faith is not going to be affected you need to retrain your mind to see the good, you did not get everything done at the office but you got something done, you didn't spend all the time you wanted with your children, but you got them ready for school and got them dressed, cook the dinner, if you're focusing on the negative, you're going to miss the good, instead celebrate the victories, start acknowledging all the things you're doing right, that's what is going to help you do better. Being down on yourself, not only keeps enjoying life, but keeps you from rising higher. God does not focused on your flaws, neither should you.

An abundant life starts on the inside and works its way out. You should be your biggest encourager because your happy, healthy life can't happen without you. Here are some words to live by. Every day, I choose joy. God has me in the palm of his hand. I never have to worry. As a child of God, I am unoffendable and quick to forgive. I forgive because I am forgiven. As the scripture says:

— I am strong in the Lord and the power of his might.

— in all circumstances, I will bless the Lord, for this is the day he has made.

— God is on the throne. He is ordering my steps. He is providing for my every need.

— I can surrender my worries, my burdens, and all my cares into his hands.

— I look forward to tomorrow, but embrace the present.

— I have grace for today, and God will give me grace for tomorrow when tomorrow comes.

— I'll fight for those who cannot fight for themselves because my God fights for me.

— my rest comes from God. He is the one who restores my soul.

— I am who God says I am, and I will reach my full God-given potential no matter what comes my way. I have everything I need to live an abundant life.

I believe something awesome is in your future. You say, "Joel I've messed up and I missed my chance", maybe that's why you are watching. Maybe you needed to hear that your failure did not stop your destiny. Paul said in Colossians God sees you as wholly blameless and without fault. You think that's not me and have all types of faults, we all have past faults but when you ask God to forgive you he cleared your record. Quit beating yourself up, quit dwelling on your flaws and over analyzing your weaknesses, you are not a finished product, God is still working on you. I believe and declare that this is a break through the day in your life. Strongholds are coming down, guilt is leaving, that poor self image is going you are holy and blameless, you are without fault. Get ready you are about to rise higher and overcome obstacles and accomplish dreams of becoming everything God created you to be.