Joel Osteen - Don't Waste Your Pain (02/28/2017)
Joel Osteen urges us not to waste our pain by becoming bitter or discouraged, but to grow through it, trusting that God has a purpose for every painful «piece» in the puzzle of our lives—like a thermostat controlling the heat—to prepare us, develop us, and birth something new for our destiny and to help others.
Don’t Put a Question Mark Where God Put a Period
I want to talk to you today about «Don’t Waste Your Pain.» We all go through disappointments, setbacks, loss. Pain is a part of life. It is easy to get discouraged, even bitter, think, «Why is this happening to me?» But one of the best principles I have learned is do not put a question mark where God has put a period.
All of us have things we do not understand. One reason is we cannot see the big picture for our lives. If you have a puzzle, on the front of the box there is the picture. You see what it is supposed to look like. Maybe it is a sunset overlooking the ocean. As a whole, it is fantastic, so beautiful. But if you were to take one piece and isolate it, you would think, «Look at this funny-looking piece. It is a mistake. It is not going to fit anywhere. It is an odd shape. There is nothing beautiful about it.»
But the fact is that piece has a perfect place. It is already been fitted, planned, designed. When the other pieces come together, it will fit in. The reason you cannot see it now is because they all are not in place yet.
Painful Pieces Fit in God’s Plan
In the same way, sometimes we look at pieces in our lives that do not make sense. «Joel, I went through a divorce. I lost a loved one. I am going through cancer. My business went down. This piece could not be a part of God’s plan.» But you have to trust that, even in the painful times—the times you are hurting, you are lonely, you are taking the treatment—on the surface that piece does not make sense. But God does not make any mistakes.
He has already designed your life, laid out all the pieces down to the smallest details. God never said that we would understand everything that happens along the way. He did not promise that we would never have any heartache, pain, disappointment, loss, setbacks. But He did promise that it would all work out for our good. That piece that is painful, does not look like it makes any sense—when everything comes together, it will fit perfectly into place.
Grow Through the Pain
The key is what we do in our times of pain. Pain will change us. Heartache, loss, disappointments—they do not leave us the same. When I lost my father, I did not come out like I was before. I was changed. If you go through a divorce, a legal battle, a friend betrays you—eventually that will pass. You will get through it, but you will be different.
Now, how the pain changes you is up to you. You can come out bitter, or you can come out better. You can come out with a chip on your shoulder, blaming God, or you can come out stronger, with a greater confidence in God. You can come out defeated, giving up on your dreams, or you can come out with a new passion, a new fire, excited about the new opportunities in front of you.
All of us experience pain. My challenge: do not just go through it, grow through it. That difficulty is an opportunity to get stronger, to develop character, to gain new confidence. Anybody can give up. Anybody can let it overwhelm you. But you know what that is doing? Wasting your pain.
Pain Prepares and Develops Us
That pain is not there to stop you. It is there to prepare you, to increase you, to develop you. The scripture talks about how God is in control not just of our lives, but He is in control of our enemies. Satan had to ask God for permission to test Job. The enemy may turn on the fire, but the good news is God has His hand on the thermostat. God controls how much heat, how much pain, how much adversity. He knows what we can handle.
If it was going to harm us rather than help us, God would have turned back the intensity. In those tough times, when you are uncomfortable, going through a loss, dealing with an illness—you could easily let it overwhelm you. It is helpful to remind yourself, «I may be in this fire, but I know who controls the temperature. The God who breathed life into me, the God who is for me and not against me, the God who crowned me with favor, the God who takes pleasure in prospering me—He is in complete control.»
He is not going to let it get too hot. He is not going to let it defeat me. I may not like it, but I am not a whiner, I am a warrior. I know I can handle this. You have that attitude, you will come out stronger, increased, promoted, better than you were before.
No Pain, No Gain
We have all heard the saying, «No pain, no gain.» If everything was always easy, we would not be prepared for our destiny. Some of the things I face today, if I would have faced them ten years ago, they would have overwhelmed me. I could not handle it back then. God knows what you need, when you need it.
Every struggle is making you stronger. Every difficulty is growing you up. Every painful time, even though you do not like it, is developing something in you that can only be developed in the tough times. Do not complain about the pain. Without the pain, we could not reach the fullness of our destinies.
Researchers did an experiment with bumblebees. They took them up into space to study the effects of weightlessness on them. The bees floated through the air with great ease, did not have to use their wings. I am sure they thought, «This is the way we were made to live—no struggle, no adversity, no resistance.»
For a few days, everything was great. But on the fourth day, something happened. They all died. They loved it being easy, no adversity. But the problem was they were not created to not have any resistance.
Resistance Is Necessary
In the same way, we were not created to float through life on flowery beds of ease. We are going to the sweet by and by, but we are living in the nasty now and now. We would love to not have any pain, loss, disappointments, heartaches, betrayal. That is not reality. Difficulties are a part of life. Have the right perspective.
In those tough times, God is getting you prepared. If it was too much, He would have turned back the temperature. He has got His hand on the thermostat. Now, quit telling yourself you cannot take it. You are not weak; you are well able. You are armed with strength for this battle. You are full of can-do power.
The reason the fire is so hot is because God has something amazing in your future. He is getting you prepared for the next level of your destiny. God does not just randomly say, «Let me give them some pain to make their life miserable. Let me hit her with a sickness. Let me hit him with some marriage problems.» There is a purpose for the pain.
Faith and Purpose in Pain
We may not always understand it. «Joel, why did I get sick? Why did I lose my loved one? Why did my marriage not make it?» I cannot answer that. But I can tell you if God allowed it, He knows how to bring good out of it.
This is what faith is all about. «God, I do not like the pain, but I trust You. I believe You are in control. Now, I am not going to just go through it, I am going to grow through it. I am going to keep a good attitude. I am going to count it all joy, knowing that this pain is leading to my gain.»
Sometimes we bring pain on ourselves. We make poor choices and get in a relationship we know is not good, or maybe get over our head in our spending, and now it is painful. We are having to deal with the consequences. God is full of mercy. He will always give us the grace to get out of it.
Learn Lessons from Self-Inflicted Pain
But the way to not waste your pain is you have to learn the lesson. Be big enough to look back and say, «Okay, here is where I missed it. I ignored the warnings. I got involved in something that I should not have. I got out of God’s timing, got in a hurry. I am not going to do that anymore.» There is a lesson in the pain. Do not be hard-headed and have to keep going through the same pain again and again.
A man I know has struggled with diabetes most of his life. He ended up a month in the hospital. I saw him recently. He looks better than ever. He said, «Joel, that stay in the hospital was a wake-up call for me. I have lost forty pounds. I have changed my diet. I exercise every day. I feel like a new man.» What was he doing? Not wasting the pain. He learned the lesson.
We talk a lot about letting go of the past, letting go of the mistakes, the failures, the divorce—and yes, that is true. But another way to say it is remember the lesson. Remember what you learned in the experience, and then let go of the negative event. If you go through a painful time and you do not come out with what you were supposed to learn, you are doing yourself a disservice.
I talked to a man a while back, and he was about to get married for his fifth time. I am not judging him, I do not know his story, but he made a statement, «Joel, pray for me. All of my wives end up running around on me.» I did not say it, but I thought to myself, «The one common denominator in this thing is you.» There is a lesson in that pain somewhere that he is missing. Do not keep repeating the same mistakes again and again.
It is like this guy I heard—he was driving his car and had an accident, got out so upset. Went over to the other driver and said, «Lady, you need to learn how to drive. You are the fourth person that has run into me today.» Here is my question: Are you bringing pain on yourself? Are you struggling in a relationship, not fulfilled because you keep saying everything you feel like saying?
Here is a newsflash: the pain will stop if you zip it up. Do not just go through it, grow through it.
Pain Not of Our Making
Other times, we experience pain that has nothing to do with our choices. It was not our fault. We were doing the right thing, and the wrong thing happened. The scripture says rain falls on the just and the unjust. You can be the just, honoring God, being your best, helping others—and it rains in your life. There are forces of darkness trying to keep you from your destiny. God could have stopped it, but He did not. Even though it is painful now, if you will stay in faith, that will lead you toward your destiny.
At the age of forty-eight, my mom was doing the right thing, raising five of us children, helping my dad pastor the church. Life was good. Then it started raining. She was diagnosed with terminal liver cancer, given a few weeks to live. That was not only uncomfortable physically, obviously, but it was also painful emotionally, thinking about possibly leaving her children, leaving her husband.
But my mom did not get depressed. She did not get bitter and start blaming God. Her attitude was, «God, my life is in Your hands. I know You promised the number of my days You will fulfill. People do not have the final say. God, I know You have the final say.» It did not happen overnight, but little by little my mother got better and better. Today, thirty-four years later, she is not only still healthy and whole, but here is my point.
Pain Births New Purpose
In that difficult time, out of that pain, God birthed something new on the inside. She started going around praying for other people who were sick. To this day she goes up to the medical center every week and has a prayer service in the chapel. The very thing that was meant to destroy her, God used it to push her into a new level of her destiny.
Friends, God knows how to take your mess and turn it into your message, take what was meant for harm and use it to your advantage. There are times, like with my mom, God will allow us to go through a season of difficulty so He can birth something new on the inside.
Paul said in Corinthians, the comfort we receive in our difficulties, now we can share that same comfort with other people in their time of need. When you go through something you do not understand, does not make sense—instead of getting negative, bitter, «God, why did this happen?"—have a new perspective. The reason God allowed it is because He can trust you. He knows He can count on you to take the same love, the same healing, the same encouragement and share it with others.
Even though that struggle with cancer was very difficult for my mother, she talks about how she would not change it. She would not have it any different. The pain was for a greater purpose.
God Trusts You with Pain
Maybe you have been through something you do not understand—like my mom, a sickness, abuse, infertility. You are raising a difficult child. Life has not turned out the way you had hoped. It is painful. It is easy to take on a victim mentality. «Joel, if God was good, why did this happen to me? Why did these people mistreat me growing up? Why did I have this bad break?»
It is because God knows He can trust you. The forces of darkness tried to take you out, but God had His hand on the thermostat. He said, «Not so fast. That is My son, that is My daughter. I have got an assignment for them to fulfill.» Just like God said to Satan, «You can test Job, but you cannot take his life. He is not going to quit serving Me. I know what Job is made of.» God is saying the same thing about you.
It may be painful, but I know what they are made of. It may be difficult, may not be fair, but I am not only going to bring them out, I am going to bring them out better, and I am going to use them to help other people who are struggling in the same areas. God can trust you. There is a purpose for that pain.
Do you know how many businesses, charities, ministries have been birthed out of pain?
In May of 1980, Cindy Lightner received a phone call saying that her thirteen-year-old daughter Cari had been hit by a car walking to church. Unfortunately, Cari lost her life that day. This mother was devastated. She did not think she could go on until she learned the man driving the car was under the influence of alcohol and he was a repeat offender.
When she heard that, something rose up in her like she had never felt. In her late daughter’s bedroom, she started a new organization—no money, no influence, no experience. She called it MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving. Today her organization has saved hundreds of thousands of lives, changed laws, influenced policy.
Cindy Lightner understands this principle. She did not waste her pain. No, it did not bring her daughter back, but she knew there was a purpose for that pain. She could have sat around depressed, bitter, blaming God, but she did not put a question mark where God put a period. That piece in her puzzle did not make sense at the time, but she believed that when everything came together, it would fall perfectly into place. That is exactly what happened. Today she is impacting the world.
Turn Pain into Purpose
Most of us will never experience anything as tragic as Cindy did. But if she can take one of the greatest pains in life and turn it around to become a force for good, I believe you and I can find the purpose in our pain.
Do not get caught up in, «Where does this piece to my puzzle fit? Joel, it does not make sense. This is an ugly piece.» Keep moving forward. Do like she did. Go out and encourage somebody else. Healing comes when you get your mind off of your own pain—what you lost, what did not work out—and you go help others.
As long as you stay focused on yourself, you are going to get stuck. There is a blessing in that pain. You have something to give others. You can encourage people who are going through what you have been through.
A lady I know got a bad medical report. Doctors found what they thought was a cancerous tumor. We prayed right here that the report would come back negative, but indeed they found out it was cancer. She has been coming to Lakewood for a long time. She knew she is not a victim, she is a victor. She knew God would not allow it unless He could bring good out of it.
Like my mother, she did not get defeated. Her attitude was, «God, I know I am in the palm of Your hand. Nothing can snatch me away. God, I do not understand it, but I trust You.» For one year she took chemotherapy. It was not easy. She lost all her hair, got very sick. But today she is eleven years cancer-free.
You know what she does now? She goes back to the same hospital as a volunteer and she encourages the people that are fighting cancer. She tells them, «I know what you are going through. I have been there. I have taken the chemo. And look, God did it for me. He can do it for you.» She is not wasting her pain. Her test has become her testimony.
Birth Pains Signal New Beginnings
We have all been through things that are uncomfortable. We did not like it, but God made a way when we did not see a way. If it was not for His healing, His favor, His goodness, His mercy, we would not be here. God is counting on us to let our lights shine. What you have been through can help somebody else get through it. Be on the lookout for somebody you can encourage. Do not waste your pain.
My friend Coach Del Brown at LSU told about a young lady named Lolo Jones. You have probably heard of her. She is a star sprinter. She holds the world record in the hurdles. In 2008 she was at the Olympic games, heavily favored to win the gold medal. Nobody had even come close to her time.
She lined up on the track. The starter fired the gun. She took off running. Everything was going great. She was in first place like expected. Eight hurdles down, two to go, and she wins the gold—a dream comes true. But somehow on that ninth hurdle her timing got off. She hit it, stumbled, fell to the ground. That allowed the other runners to pass her by. She did not win the gold. A huge disappointment. She trained her whole life for that twelve-second race. Now it was over.
They interviewed her a little afterwards, and she said in effect, «Yes, it is painful. Yes, I am disappointed. But I know now I can help other people who have fallen.» When you have been through something, in one sense you have been given a gift. You are uniquely qualified to help others struggling in that same situation.
Do not sit around feeling sorry for yourself. Go out and lift somebody else up.
Friends, everything happens to us for a reason. Nothing is a coincidence. Some things are to help us grow, mature, come up higher. Then there are times God will allow us to go through a difficult season so later on we can be instrumental in helping somebody else overcome.
Can God trust you with the pain? Can God trust you to be uncomfortable? Will you get negative, bitter, «God, why is this happening to me?» I say this respectfully: it is not all about you. What if God allowed it so three years from now you can help somebody else move forward? Can God trust you?
Pain as a Sign of Birth
When my father went to be with the Lord—you have lost loved ones, very painful. I did not like it. I was uncomfortable. But do you know how many people tell me, «Joel, when you talk about your father and how much you loved him and how you stepped up to pastor the church, it helped me to overcome when my loved one went to be with the Lord.» With the comfort I have received, I can share that comfort with others.
We all have something to give. We have all been through a hurt, a loss, a disappointment. Do not see it as, «Oh man, this is so bad.» Now, you may not have liked it, but there is a purpose for that pain.
I saw a report on the news about this lady. She was a larger woman, and she had always been perfectly healthy, but she started feeling a little nauseated. She could not figure out what was wrong. Over the next few months her back started hurting, her feet swelling, could not sleep at night.
She went to the doctor early on. They thought it was some kind of virus that would soon pass. But month after month different symptoms popped up. She was uncomfortable, swollen, gaining weight. She did not like it.
One day she started feeling incredible pains in her stomach area. She tried to endure it, thinking that it would pass, but it kept getting worse and worse. Finally she could not take it any longer. In excruciating pain, she had her husband rush her to the emergency room.
The doctor examined her, said, «I know exactly what is wrong.» Ninety minutes later he handed her her new baby boy. She was pregnant and did not know it. All those symptoms she was feeling—the pain, discomfort, nausea—there was a purpose for it. A change was taking place. She was about to give birth.
Many times, like her, we are pregnant and we do not know it. All we can feel is the pain. «God, I am uncomfortable.» The pain is a sign you are about to give birth. If you will stay in faith, eventually the pain will pass. You will give birth to new strength, new talent, new ministry, new charity, new friendships, a new level.
Endure for the Joy Ahead
The pain is for a purpose. A change is taking place. When you are in a difficult time, do not focus on the pain. Focus on the fact that a new level is coming.
The scripture says Jesus endured the pain of the cross, looking forward to the joy that was set before Him. If you only focus on where you are, on the pain, you will get negative. Have a new perspective, the right perspective. «God, I do not like this situation, but I know this pain is not here to stop me. It is here to promote me. It is a sign I am about to give birth to something new.»
That is what my friends Craig and Samantha did. Craig at the time was the head of our children’s ministry at Lakewood. They had two beautiful children. Samantha was expecting the third child. When little Connor was born, they soon realized something was not quite right. He was not talking, developing as fast as the other children.
Connor was diagnosed with autism. While they loved Connor just as much, of course they were a little taken aback by it. It was not what they were expecting. But Craig and Samantha understand this principle. They did not put a question mark where God put a period. They knew the reason they had Connor was because God could trust them.
They did not waste their pain. Craig told me how at that time we did not have any classes for special needs children here at the church. Many parents could not attend the main service like this because their children needed constant attention. He said, «Joel, why do we not start a special needs class for these children? We can call it the Champions Club.»
In that time of pain, Craig recognized he was pregnant. He was about to give birth to something new. We started our Champions Club. The first few months, three hundred new families joined the church. Other churches heard about it. Craig helped them launch their own special needs class. Today there are over thirty Champions Clubs in seven different nations around the world.
Here is what I am saying. When it is painful, do not get discouraged. Get ready. You are about to give birth. That discomfort you are feeling—it is not just a random pain. Those are birth pains.
There is a blessing in that pain. There is a gift in that pain. There is a ministry in that pain. There is a new level in that pain. Do not waste it. Do like Craig. Be on the lookout. Look for opportunities where you can encourage somebody else.
Can God trust you with that pain? Will you get negative, bitter, or will you say, «God, I do not understand it, but I know there is a purpose for this pain»?
Remember, God has His hand on the thermostat. If it was too much, He would have cut back the heat. Do not just go through it, grow through it.
If you will do this, I believe and declare your pain is about to be turned into your gain. You are going to come out stronger, increased, promoted, new levels. Out of that pain it is going to birth you into the fullness of your destiny. In Jesus' name. If you receive it today, can you say amen?