Jentezen Franklin - The Greatest Miracle of Marriage
Welcome to Kingdom Connection. Thank you so much for joining us today. And I am excited about the message that you're gonna hear, and I encourage you to listen and lean in. There's a prayer line available. We care, you can send in prayer requests online, and we pray over those prayer requests. You need to know that your family and your marriage has God's eye today. Listen to this message and let it speak to you. I believe this word will bless you and your family.
I'm preaching today this message on marriage and the family and the home. And I know that what I'm really preaching on is the greatest miracle of marriage. And it's not love at first sight. The greatest miracle of marriage is love after a long, long look. A lot of people fall in love at first sight, but then they end up in a divorce. But how do we hold it together for the long, long look instead of just being in love at first sight, but staying in love and staying together and loving one another as God intended us to do? 1 Peter 3 is centered around a couple, a famous couple in the Bible. Their name is Abraham and Sarah. And they were a couple in the Bible that I think it's important to underscore they were not a perfect couple. That brings hope to me, that brings hope to you. Their life, their family was not ideal and was by no means perfect.
As a matter of fact, they had family pressure. You know that Abraham's father was an idol maker. He literally made statues and idols to worship. So, when they got religious and they became people of one God, can you imagine the pressure from the family? "What is wrong with you? You've gone to that church. You've gotten your life right with God, and we don't want to hear about your", all of that was going on in Abraham and Sarah's marriage. They lived in a tent, the Bible said. They never had a permanent dwelling place. They were constantly packing up and moving, constantly had that kind of pressure on them. They had an ugly part of their marital relationship, when out of desperation, a third person came into the marriage. Her name was Hagar, and Abraham slept with her and produced a child named Ishmael. And so now they have a blended family living in the same house.
And all of this is going on, the contention. The Bible said there was bickering and fussing and fighting, all of this. We think these people were so holy, they were walking on clouds. They were fussing and fighting and contention going on all in their home. If you think that's not enough, then add to that, the difficulty of raising children, and they didn't do it well. And then you see that Abraham lied about his wife when they went, and Pharaoh saw his wife. And Sarah was 80 years old and she was so beautiful and so shapely and so gorgeous that the king wanted her at 80 years of age. And the Bible said, Abraham, instead of standing up and saying, "That's my woman, you're not taking my wife". When the king said, "I want her," fearing for his own life, not thinking of his wife, men can be extremely selfish, thinking about himself. He said, "She's not my wife, she's, my sister. You can have her".
Do you think she just got over that? Do you think that they just, once they got, you know, God showed up in a dream, scared the king to death. He said, "Why have you lied to me? Let her go back to her wife. You're not who you said". But do you think she just went right back and said, "Come into my arms. I love you so much". I don't think so. I think she was ticked, don't you? Say "Amen," somebody. So, he was a man of faith, but he was not perfect. I love the fact that they go through the seasons together. They started out at the young age and married couple, and then the Bible shows them as a middle-aged couple, and then the Bible shows 'em and finishes their story in old age, Abraham being a hundred and Sarah 99 when she got pregnant.
So, you talk about something amazing. So, youth looks forward, and old age looks backward, and middle age looks worried. Amen. And so, they went through youth together, they went through middle age together, they went through old age. And here's my point. And they made it. They didn't have a perfect family. They didn't have a perfect marriage. They had all kinds of situations. They had a third party get in it. They had the blended family complications. They had all kinds of challenges, but they made it, their marriage made it, and yours can too. Nobody has a perfect marriage. But we see in 1 Peter 3, things, and I'm going to give you real quickly seven ingredients that we must have for our marriage to last the distance. 1 Peter 3:5, talks about how that they trusted in God. In verse seven, it talks about how they were heirs together in the grace of life.
It's very obvious when you read the texts that in spite of their faults, they had an unbreakable faith in God. The first word I want you to write down if you're taking notes is if you want to have a blessed and a long-lasting marriage, you must have faith in God. They had an unbreakable faith that their problems couldn't break their faith. And faith is the key. The Bible puts it like this in Ecclesiastes 4:12, it says that a threefold chord is not easily broken. A three stranded cord, one, one strand of the cord may break, but if you put two and intertwine them, it's harder to break it. But if you get it to the place that you have three, the strongest form that you can make of a cord is three chords. And the husband is one of those strands, and the wife is another second strand.
But then you have God who has to be intertwined. And if you don't have faith, if you don't have God, if you don't have Jesus, if you don't build on the solid rock the home that you're building, you must have that threefold cord. And Cherise knows that God is first. And I know in her life God is first, because I won't be the husband and she won't be the wife unless God is in the middle of our relationship. That's where you have to start with everything. So, the first thing is faith. And then we see something else in 1 Peter 3:1. He says that you are to submit. He talks about accepting God's plan for your home. And when he does that, he starts off by telling the women to submit to the husband as the head of the homes.
1 Corinthians 11:3, says that God has placed, and I'm just the message boy, I'm just here to give you this, and this is what it says. He says, if you want to know, and listen, listen, you can choose to ignore this. You can say, "That's not modern enough. That's not progressive enough for the way I see it". But he says, "I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God". So you must accept God's plan for the home. The second word is acceptance. What does that mean? That means you accept one another's role. And the man is the head, that does not say the man is the boss. The head of the home is not the boss of the home. "Then what does it mean? What does the head of the home mean"? It means you have, as the man, the responsibility of the home.
You see, equality of worth is established in the Bible. He said, "We are neither male nor female in God's eyes". And he says, "There's no one worth more than the other". But when it comes to function, we are not the same in the function. And God said, the head of the home, not the boss of the home. And the word head means responsibility. It does not mean you have greater privilege. It does not mean that you have greater privilege. It means you have greater responsibility. It means if the marriage is not working, you have greater responsibility sir. To be the head of the home means if the family is in shambles, you have greater responsibility. It means you take responsibility. It means you have to do the best that you can do and understand the failure.
"If I let my family fall to pieces, it's not her fault. I have to take responsibility and I have to understand". And God says, "if you understand this and each one understands their role, then you can begin to have the ingredients, faith, and then understanding the role that each one in acceptance of that role". Lot of fussing and fighting over this very thing, but once it begins to get in place, God can bless that home. Thirdly, there's contentment, 1 Peter 3. It said that we're heirs together. When you study the life of Abraham, and you study the life of Sarah, they had a spirit of contentment. When they started out, they were not wealthy.
Now Abraham became extremely wealthy, and Sarah became extremely wealthy. The Bible said they had very much cattle, gold, silver, and land in possessions. They were extremely wealthy later in life, but when they started out, they had nothing. They were not wealthy. They learned the secret of contentment. And that's why the Bible said they're heirs together, meaning that if you don't have this, and you don't have that, really, if you reach that point where I have my husband, I have my wife, and I have my God, and I have food and I have clothes and I am content, then you will begin to see the blessing of God. We're living in such a materialistic society. We live under such financial pressure, and we don't understand the secret of contentment.
When you can get along with God and with one another, and Jesus said, "If you've got food and clothing, be content". If you've got more than that, I'm happy for you. If you've got just everything that money can buy, I'm happy for you. The Bible said God takes pleasure in the prosperity of his servants. But to whom little is not enough, nothing is enough. And if you can't be happy just you and your wife or you and your husband and God, you won't be happy when it's you and your wife and ten homes and ten cars and ten... it all goes back down to what really matters in life. If you have your wife, if you have your husband, if you have your God, if you've got food and clothing, you have all that you need for contentment in your life.
The next thing that we see in this text, the next ingredient is forgiveness. For he goes on to say in 1 Peter 3:8-10, "Be of one mind having compassion for one another, love for one another. Tenderhearted. Be courteous, be loving". In other words, what he's saying is you gotta be forgiving. All married people must learn to forgive. Not returning evil for evil and reviling or just attacking, reviling for reviling. But on the contrary, blessing, knowing that you were called to this, knowing that if you are in marriage, you are called to be courteous, to not render evil for evil, to not render attack for attack. You are called to this. And then he goes on to say, "If you want," the next verse says, would you like to love life? Isn't that powerful?
"He who would love life". How many of you wanna love your life? How many of you are tired of getting up and being mad? How many of you'd like to get up and love life today? He said, "I'm gonna tell you how to do it". How many of you'd like to see good days? How many of you'd like to see good days in your house? The Bible said in Deuteronomy that your home could be filled with days of heaven on earth. That's a Bible verse, that your days will be as heaven... how many of you'd like to see good days? And how many of you'd like to love your life? He said, "Then let them refrain", and this is all in context with don't give them as good as they send you, be courteous, be kind, be forgiving, love one another. He said, "Refrain your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking guile," the King James says.
All married people must learn to forgive. All married people must practice forgiveness. And you know, the number one thing that destroys homes, literal physical homes, is not tornadoes, is not earthquakes, it's termites. The number one destroyer, little bitty things that you let crawl into your house, and those little things team up, and little things, that bitterness, that unwillingness to forgive, that spirit that carries a grudge, that spirit, not rendering evil for evil or railing for railing, but counter wise blessing. So, there are three levels that you can live life on. The first level is the hellish level. And the hellish level is when you give back evil for good, that somebody's being good to you and doing good to you and trying to do good to you, and you turn around with a bitter, angry spirit and rail at them. And they are doing good, and you are doing evil. That's the hellish level.
And then there's the human level. The human level is, "Well, if you're good to me, then I'll be good to you. If you're kind to me, then I'll be kind to you. If you're loving to me, then I'll be loving to you". That's human level love. "I'll give you what you give me. If you hurt me, I'll hurt you". That's really how human level functions. "I do to you what you do to me". Hellish level says, "I do good to you if you do evil to me". But heavenly level says, "I will do and give you back good for evil". Not railing, for railing, not attack, for attack, but good for evil. Listen to me, and sometimes the wife has to practice it, and sometimes the husband has to be the one who, "This time, I'm going to give good from evil". And we cannot allow ourselves to not function in forgiveness.
Forgiveness is so important. And the longer we allow those termites to come up through the floor and eat away at our homes and destroy because of bitterness and unforgiveness. The fifth thing, I'm almost done. The fifth thing we see in this text is communication. He says, "He that loves life," as I said, "Will refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking guile". Abraham and Sarah were so different. The Lord spoke to me and said, "Jentezen and Cherise are so different, so different". But Proverbs 18:21 says, you've got to learn to communicate. "Death and life are in the power of your tongue". And then, romance. "Likewise, you husbands dwell together with them with knowledge".
Dwell means to live with, sharing. Dwell means not just to be in the house, but to dwell, to live with in sharing the physical part of marriage. "Giving honor," listen to those words, everybody say those words, "Giving honor to the wife, giving honor to the wife". There's nothing worse than to hear a guy put his wife down publicly and privately. Giving honor. God, help us to give honor. Give honor to your wife. Give honor, value, show her that she is the number one human relationship in your life. Sincere compliments. No cheap jokes. Everybody needs compliments. Everybody. When Cherise tells me I look good, I feel so good. I feel, whether I look good or not, I believe it if she tells me. We need to give more compliments to one another. We need to speak more things.
If you think it speak it, if you think it, if you think they're amazing, if you notice something and you see them doing something and you think, "That's incredible". It's so easy to keep that to yourself. But say it, give compliments to one another. Speak it. Use your communication skills. Keep joy and excitement and romance in your marriage. Call your spouse and check in with 'em all day. Communicate. Tell 'em you're on your ride home. "The love mobile is coming in. Sensitize your lips, I'll be there". Do something that speaks and verbalizes your love one for another. Do it spontaneously. Do it as often as you can. Say, "I love you" out loud. Let your children hear it. Let people see it. But most of all, let her know it. Let him know it. Men don't always want to be the aggressor. Men also want to know that their wife wants them and desires them.
How do you fight fair? I'm almost done. Here's the last point. The last thing we see in this text is he says, "Make sure that you do all of these things that I've said that your prayers be not hindered". The last thing, the last ingredient is prayer. Prayer in the marriage, prayer in the family, prayer in the home, praying for one another, agreeing, speaking the name of Jesus over your family, the name of Jesus over your marriage. And I know this isn't some super duper sermon this morning, but if we could just practice half of what we're preaching up here today, our homes, we would see good days. We would have a good life. We would live a good life. We would see more contentment and peace and joy in moments that really is all we have, when it's all said and done, with one another.
How many of you desire to be the mate God has called you to be? Let me see your hand. Whether you're single or whether you're married, "I want to be that mate that God's called me to be". You may be listening to me this morning. You may say, "Well, it's too late, Pastor. My family is disintegrated. My marriage is over". Or "I'm living with my husband but it's like single life. We're disconnected and broken". The good news is, if Abraham and Sarah were not perfect, we don't have to be perfect. We can have all kinds of stuff going on in our families and in our marriages, in our home, and if we'll just keep coming back to God, coming back to the word, coming back to the truth of the scriptures, God says, "I can fix the broken pieces. I can take what's left". If you've been through a divorce, the miracle's not in what you've lost, it's in what's left. Let Him take what's left and bless it, and make up your mind that this time, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord".
You may be watching this program right now and you feel like your marriage is crumbling and falling to pieces. I have such compassion for you today. I know Jesus cares. The first miracle Jesus ever performed happened at a marriage. He can renew your relationship, He can heal your family, and what you need to do today is trust Him and put Him at the center of your home and your marriage. Remember, marriage isn't a duet, it's a trio. It's man, it's woman, and it's Jesus Christ, intertwined as the glue holding the two together, making the two, one. Maybe you're watching this as a couple, why don't you...maybe you've been so mad at each other, you haven't touched, you haven't even hardly talked to one another.
Why don't you just grab that husband or that wife by the hand and get on your knees right there in your home or wherever you're watching this. And I'm gonna tell you, just that simple of an invitation to God in your home and in your marriage, to get down on your knees together and hold hands, and say, "God, we don't have the answers". Be honest, "I'm mad, she's mad, we're angry, but we need you today. We invite you today," do it. "We invite you today," say those words. "Into our marriage, into our home, into our family. Oh God, Prince of Peace, Jesus, bring peace to our lives. Bring love, renew, restore, and give us a mission for our marriage. In Jesus name we pray". And go to the phone if you would like prayer. You can dial the number that's on the screen or send us your email today. We would love to hear from you. It means so much to hear from you. Thank you so much for praying with us and believing with us.