James Merritt - When You Don't See Eye to Eye
So let me just begin with a story. Those of you watching online, it’s a personal story about me. At least I hope my oldest son will appreciate this about his dad, because I learned a lot from my dad, both good and bad. It was my first summer back home from college after my freshman year, and I hadn’t seen Mom and Dad but a couple of times because I was in Florida, and it was too long and hard to come up to the house. So I had only seen them a couple of times. I was actually taking my very first ministry. I didn’t know at that time that I would be going into the ministry, but I was going to work at the church as a youth pastor. So I drove up from school; I hadn’t seen Mom and Dad a couple of times that year.
As I walked up to the front door, James, I’ll just say «Papa.» Papa met me at the door. He didn’t say, «Son, good to have you home.» He didn’t say, «Glad you’re back.» He didn’t say, «Come on in.» He said, «Get a haircut.» That’s all he said. He was standing at the front door. Now, you have to understand that by contemporary standards, my hair really wasn’t that long, but my dad had this rock-solid belief that a man’s hair should never touch his ears. So when he saw my hair covering half my ears, I was not walking in that door until I went to the barber shop. I did something I never thought I would do; as a matter of fact, I almost needed Depends. I took my life in my hands, and for the first time in my life, I stood up to my dad. I’ll never forget the conversation; I remember it word for word.
This is exactly what I said to my dad: «Dad, all of my life I’ve tried to be the best son I know how to be. I’ve made straight A’s, never given you a minute’s trouble, I’ve never had a drink, never even had a date. I’ve never done anything to make you ashamed. I really try to have a walk with the Lord.» And I was shaking when I said this, but I said, «I will tell you right now, if you mean what you say, I will find another place to live this summer, and I won’t be back.» Well, my dad, for the first time in my life, got this sharp look on his face, like, «I can’t believe you just said what you just said.» Thank God my sweet, saintly mother grabbed my dad by the arm and pulled him back into the house. I could hear them through the screen door, and she basically said, «He’s right; this is ridiculous. Get off his back and leave him alone.»
Well, he walked back to his bedroom, and I walked into the house. He never did greet me; we never talked about it again. He did call me a hippie about a hundred times that summer just to get under my skin. You may think that sounds ridiculous; you may think that was bad. Let me tell you what I know: to this day, had I come home with a tattoo on my left arm, he would have given me a decent burial. Now, to be clear, my dad loved me, and I love my dad. He loved Jesus; I love Jesus. We loved each other, but we just didn’t see eye to eye on hair length. Now, as I talk about this subject that’s so dear to my heart right now, I’m not talking about things we ought to see eye to eye on. There are some things that, frankly, disagreement probably should cause division. There are some things we know are wrong for one simple reason: the Bible clearly condemns them.
As Pastor Adrian Rogers said, it’s better to be divided by truth than to be united by error. And there are some things, for example, we’ve got to totally agree on, or we’ll never get together as a church. We’ve got to agree there’s only one God; we’ve got to agree the only way to that God is through his son, Jesus Christ. We’ve got to agree that Jesus died on a cross, was buried, came back from the grave, and one day is coming again. We’ve got to agree that we’re saved by faith through grace, that not of ourselves, but that alone. We’ve got to believe this book is the word of God. So there are certain things we’ve got to agree on, and we will never ever get together. There are some things that are just black and white if you’re a Bible-believing Christian. That’s not the problem I want to talk about today; it’s what we call the gray areas of life. The Bible’s not crystal clear on those. Well, what does the Bible say about this, and what does the Bible say about that? Well, it doesn’t say a whole lot. And then when you get into those gray areas of life, let me tell you, one thing is guaranteed to happen: we will disagree.
I pastored a lot of people, and there are many devoted Christians who love Jesus, love the church, and love each other, but they don’t agree on everything, especially when it comes to—are you ready for this? —politics. The reason we have differences is that we’re different, and the reason we’re different is that God made us that way. If God had wanted us to think alike, see alike, be alike, and feel alike on everything, He would have made us exactly alike, but He didn’t. Because He made us different, that means we have different viewpoints, different opinions, and different preferences; in this highly charged season, we definitely have different politics. So, what I want to talk about today is trying to help us do something we talk about a lot but don’t practice much. We’ve all said at one time or another, «Well, let’s agree to disagree,» or «Let’s disagree without being disagreeable.»
We say it a lot more than we practice it, so I want to address the entire issue: how do you disagree without being disagreeable? I’m not talking about the black-and-white things; we’re going to disagree on that, and if we have to battle over it, I’m ready. But I’m talking about the gray areas of life. Here’s the problem: the issues arise when we substitute personal preferences for biblical principles. I used to do that somewhat in my ministry, and that’s exactly what was happening in the early church. I want you to take God’s word and turn to the book in the Bible called Romans; it’s in the New Testament—Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Acts, Romans.
I want you to turn to Romans chapter 14. Let me tell you what was going on in the early church. We sometimes get the idea that the early church must have been perfect from the very beginning, but it never was perfect for one reason: they had people. I tell young pastors all the time, «How do you handle problems in the church?» I say, «I can tell you how to get rid of every problem in your church. Really, write this down: 'Get rid of the people.' Get rid of the people, and you get rid of the problems. You have people; you have problems.»
So, they had problems in the early church. Here was the issue: they were united on the majors; they believed all the right stuff—they believed the black and the white—but when it came to the gray, they weren’t just disagreeing; they were disagreeable. They were divided: «You can’t be my friend anymore. I don’t like you anymore. You’re not right with God; you need to get right with God.» They were being disagreeable. So, I want to share with us today how to deal with each other when we don’t see eye-to-eye on the gray areas of life. Let me tell you why—there’s an elephant in the room and a donkey.
Next Wednesday, some of you are going to be happy, and some of you are going to be sad. Some of you are going to be glad, and some of you are going to be mad, and you might not like how it turned out—or you might love how it turned out. You might be okay with how it turned out. That is not my problem, and it really shouldn’t be yours. The problem is: how are you going to handle that with each other when you find out somebody did this or somebody voted this way? So here’s the principle I want to teach you today; it’s real simple. You ready? We must be free to disagree without making it all about me. We must be free to disagree without making it all about me.
There are four things I’m going to say super fast this morning, and I want you to listen. Four things Paul tells us in Romans 14: this is how you handle things when you don’t see eye to eye. Number one: accept others for being themselves. Accept others for being themselves. Here’s what’s going on: you need to understand the background of the story. You have two kinds of Christians in the church: Jewish Christians and Gentile Christians, and there is a big cultural divide between the two. If you were a Jewish Christian, you were raised in the synagogue, in the temple; you were raised to keep the law. You were raised that certain things were right and certain things were wrong, particularly when it came to diets and days. You had to be strict in what you did, so if you were a Jew, you couldn’t eat pork, you couldn’t eat shellfish.
If you ate beef, it had to be kosher; all the blood had to be drained. You had to observe certain days: Passover, Purim, Hanukkah—you had to observe all these days. But if you were a Gentile Christian, you probably didn’t grow up in any kind of religious background; you may have come out of paganism. You grew up eating sausage, bacon, pork, barbecue, shellfish, oysters, crab, and lobster. So you have two groups of people in the church: one group that loves Red Lobster and another group that wouldn’t touch a dead lobster. So you have these two groups, and they’re fighting, and one group is looking at the other group and saying, «You ought not to be doing those things.» One group says, «Hey, get out of my business.» As a matter of fact, you’re going to see this as we read this chapter. Paul referred to these two groups of people this way: he called some weaker in the faith and some stronger in the faith.
Now, full disclosure: Paul actually grew up weaker in the faith but became stronger in the faith. Paul grew up a Jew; there was a time he didn’t go to Red Lobster. There was a time he didn’t eat shellfish, crab, lobster, oysters, and all that kind of stuff. He didn’t eat bacon and eggs; God forbid he would not go to any restaurant like that at all. But then he got saved, and remember what Jesus said: all things are clean; it’s okay, it doesn’t matter—eat what you want. So he realized by grace you’re no longer strict. He said, «You know what? Let me give some advice to both groups.» We’re going to start reading in verse one. He says, «Accept the one whose faith is weak without quarreling over disputable matters. One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another whose faith is weak eats only vegetables. The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat anything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them.»
One person, he goes on to say, considers one day more sacred than another; another considers each day alike. Each one of them should be fully convinced in their own mind. So now you have these two Christian groups, and they’re fighting like cats and dogs over diets and days. The weaker brother is condemning the stronger brother, and the stronger brother is criticizing the weaker brother. The weaker brother is telling the stronger brother he is ungodly for what he eats and drinks, and the stronger brother is saying to the weaker brother he is unreasonable in what he doesn’t eat and drink. So the weaker Christian is saying to the stronger Christian, «You need to tighten up,» and the stronger Christian is saying to the weaker Christian, «You need to lighten up.» So you have these two groups that are fighting. The weaker believer’s problem is that he is trying to impose his personal preferences on the stronger believer.
So here’s what he was saying: feel as I feel, think only as I think, eat what I eat, drink only what I drink, look as I look, do always as I do. Then, and only then, will I fellowship with you. That’s what he said. The stronger believer looked at the weaker believer; he just said three words: «Get over it. I really don’t care what you think.» Now, you’re probably thinking right now, «Gosh, why in the world would Christians argue over things like that?» We have the same problem in the church today in the 21st century. There are good, godly, gracious Christians who can get worked up, fired up, and charged up over just certain things that you, when I, as you hope you’ll see, will go, «Yeah, that’s true.» And it really is.
Let me give you some examples: the way you should dress in church. I can’t believe he wore shorts today! I can’t believe he’s wearing flip-flops! I can’t believe, you know, there are some people who think everybody should wear a shirt and tie; everybody should wear a coat and tie. You know, let’s just go to tuxedos and formals. They get worked up about how we ought to dress. Here’s another one: whether or not you should drink alcohol or use tobacco. I don’t drink, I don’t chew, I don’t go with girls who do. That may not fit you.
Here’s another one: whether or not dancing is okay. I’ve known people; I’ve had someone who used to be in our family—boy, they just said, «Man, dancing is just so wrong.» Or how about this one: whether or not you should play poker. Should you play poker for pennies? Yeah, I don’t think you all ever do anything like that. Here’s another one: whether or not you should go to movies. I had someone tell me just recently, «You go to movies?» Well, sometimes I do. «I don’t think you ought to subsidize Hollywood.»
Okay, here’s another one: whether or not you wear makeup. I agree with my mentor, Dr. Rogers. Adrian Rogers said, «I don’t think it’s a sin if women wear makeup; I think it’s a sin if some women don’t.» But anyway, whether or not you ought to wear makeup. Here’s another one: whether or not you do yoga. «Oh, I shouldn’t do yoga. Man, that’s dangerous! I can’t get into that meditation stuff.» So, there’s no question some of us would disagree with some of these issues, but the problem in the early church was not that they just disagreed. Hear me: it’s okay to disagree; it’s not okay to be disagreeable. It’s not okay to divide over these minor issues, and they were doing something we must never do: they were confusing personal preferences with biblical principles.
So let me just make this very plain: never compromise a biblical principle. A lot of my family is here; they know this one thing about me: I will never do that—never compromise a biblical principle. But never codify a personal preference. We should never be disagreeable and divide over minor issues. So when you disagree with someone over a minor issue, here’s what Paul says: he says, «It’s real simple: accept the one whose faith is weak without quarreling over disputable matters.» See, they didn’t have an appetite problem; they thought it was an appetite problem. It wasn’t an appetite problem; they had an attitude problem. If I think it’s wrong, you better think it’s wrong. If I don’t do it, you better not do it. If I don’t say it, you better not say it. If I don’t think it, you better not think it.
Paul says, «Wait a minute! You’ve got to accept others to be themselves, even when they don’t agree with you. Don’t go around being a brother basher or a sister smasher.» That’s what Paul meant when he said, «Each one of them should be fully convinced in their own mind.» In other words, let people be themselves, think for themselves, and have a right to their own opinion. So Paul’s first principle is this: never compromise convictions with anyone, but never push your preferences on anyone. Accept others for being themselves. Rule number one. Rule number two: allow others to decide for themselves. Just allow others to decide for themselves.
Now, Paul does a wise thing. It’s so brilliant what Paul does. He says, «Why don’t we bring the Lord into this discussion? Why don’t we bring the Lord? Let’s just see how this relates to our relationship to the Lord.» So here’s what he says; watch this: this is so brilliant. «Whoever regards one day as special does so to the Lord. Whoever eats meat does so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God. And whoever abstains does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives for ourselves alone, none of us dies for ourselves alone. If we live, we live for the Lord; if we die, we die for the Lord. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living.»
In other words, here’s what Paul said: whatever you do or don’t do, you do it to the Lord or you don’t do it to the Lord. Whatever you believe, you believe for the Lord or you don’t believe for the Lord. Ultimately, you just do what you do; you act the way you act for the glory of the Lord. Because ultimately, I hate to break the news to both of us: it doesn’t matter what you think; it doesn’t matter what I think; it doesn’t matter what you believe; it doesn’t matter what I believe; it doesn’t matter what you feel; it doesn’t matter what I feel. The only thing that matters is what does God think and what does God say. That’s all that matters. So Paul says, «Whatever you do, you do it to the Lord.»
And again, let me just say this: don’t misunderstand me. I am not saying that you cannot challenge, confront, criticize, or condemn someone if they violate a biblical principle. If they go against a scriptural command or do something that’s clearly wrong according to the word of God, no problem. A pastor should not conduct a gay wedding—end of discussion. No, there are only two genders, not fifty—end of discussion. We can get into all that stuff; that’s one thing. It’s another thing when it comes down to a personal preference, because Paul said, «Look, you don’t live to please me, and I don’t live to please you. You should live to please the Lord; I should live to please the Lord. You don’t live for yourself; I don’t live for myself. We both live for the Lord; it’s not about us.»
I read the other day about a man who was married for fifty years, and so his buddies got together and decided to throw him an anniversary party. At the party, one of his buddies called him aside and said, «Man, I just got to ask you a question.» He asked, «What is the secret to being married for so many years?» The man replied, «Well, I’ll tell you what I learned over these fifty years.» He said, «I learned that marriage is the best teacher.» «Really?» his friend asked. «Yep,» he said. «It teaches you loyalty, neatness, kindness, patience, forgiveness, self-control, and a whole lot of other qualities you wouldn’t have had to learn if you had just stayed single. We don’t live for ourselves; we live for the glory of God and for the good of others.»
Then he drives the point home that he’s trying to make. Beginning in verse 10, he says, «Look, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. It is written: 'As surely as I live, ' says the Lord, 'every knee will bow before me; every tongue will acknowledge God.' So then each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.» Paul says we are not to judge others, condemn others, confront others, or criticize others just because they don’t see things the way we see them or do things the way we do them. We are not qualified to do that; we can’t read minds, and we don’t know hearts. The worst thing you can do is take a job you’re not qualified for. Paul says, «Let me drive this point home to you.»
I don’t know how you have already voted or will vote. I’ve already voted, but you don’t know how I voted. But hear me clearly: it really doesn’t matter to me how you voted, and it really shouldn’t matter to you how I voted because you’re not accountable to me for how you vote. I’m not accountable to you for how I vote. Now, we are accountable to God for how we vote, and one day you will give an account for how you voted. Before you vote for whoever you vote for, I would look in the mirror and ask, «Am I really ready to make this defense before a holy God that I voted this way?» That’s a different matter. But Paul says, «As far as all that goes, when it comes to all these things, you’re not going to stand before me; I’m not going to stand before you; we’re going to stand before God, because the only opinion that really matters, after all, is God’s. The Father’s opinion is the final opinion.»
So my point is this: don’t do God’s job and don’t take God’s place. For example, today, no matter how you vote or how I vote, it won’t matter. It doesn’t matter today whether I was right in the way I voted and you were wrong, or I was wrong in the way I voted and you were right. It doesn’t matter—not today. At the end of the day, God will be the judge; God will sort it out. Leave it to Him on these minor issues; let others decide for themselves. The third principle—we’re going quickly—affirm others to live as themselves. Affirm others to live for themselves.
Now, listen: Paul has stated everything up to this point; now he’s about to draw a conclusion and he uses a word that’s one of the most important words in the Bible. If you want to understand the Bible, there’s a word you should never skip over. Anywhere you find it, never skip over this word; it is one of the most important words in the Bible. I’m not exaggerating, and it is the word «therefore.» You’ve heard me say before: when you come to the word «therefore,» always ask, «What is that 'therefore' therefore?» Because what Paul is about to do is say that everything I’ve said to you up to this point is to drive this point home. Here’s what he says: «Therefore, let us"—who’s us? Everybody: the weak believer, the strong believer, Jewish Christians, Gentile Christians, Republicans, Democrats, independents—it doesn’t matter. He says, «Let us stop passing judgment on one another; instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.»
Let me just stop right here. I highlighted this word «stop passing judgment,» and I highlighted this phrase «make up your mind.» I’m going to show you in a minute the reason I did that; there’s a reason. Just keep that in mind. Up until this point, Paul’s been primarily talking to the weaker believer. If you haven’t picked that up, he’s really been hammering the weaker believer. You have this weaker believer saying, «Well, I don’t eat this; you ought not to eat this. I don’t drink that; you ought not to drink that. I don’t wear this to church; you shouldn’t wear that to church.» He is hammering this weaker believer. He says, «Look, if the Bible does not explicitly condemn it, stop it! Don’t try to hold everybody to your own personal standard.»
So he’s really trying to put them in their place. But now he wants to talk to the stronger believer. Here’s what he says to the stronger believer: «Oh, you may have the right to drink what you’re drinking, and you may have the right to eat what you’re eating, and you may have the right to go where you’re going, and you may have the right to do what you’re doing, but if that causes a weaker Christian to do something they know they should not do, you’re wrong.» Because here’s the principle that the stronger believer has to remember: love limits liberty.
Now, you remember those two phrases I talked about—"passing judgment» and «make up your mind.» Here’s what you should know: those are exactly the same word in the Greek language, but they’re translated two different ways. You say, «Why did Paul do that, and why do we translate it different ways?» Because when the word judge is used, it can be used in two different ways: one is good and the other is bad. Here’s the bad way: when I judge someone as being wrong or doing wrong just because I think it’s wrong for me, I’m being judgmental. That’s wrong. But if I use my best judgment to determine this is what’s best, this is the right thing to do, this would be most glorifying to God—I think that to myself—then I’m being right.
What Paul is essentially saying to this stronger believer is that you ought to be more concerned about loving the weaker Christian than about the limits of the weaker Christian. This is his point: he says, «I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in and of itself.» Paul states, «Look, for me, I’m eating the lobster, I’m eating the shellfish, I’m eating the crab, I’m eating the pork, I’m eating the sausage, I’m eating the bacon, I’m going to IHOP; I’m doing it. I’m convinced it’s not unclean. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person, it is unclean. If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you’re no longer eating in love. Do not, by your eating, destroy someone for whom Christ died.»
Paul says to the stronger believer, you may be fine with what you’re doing; you may think it’s okay to do those things, but if you cause a weaker Christian to violate their conscience and do it too, if they look at you and say, «Well, I don’t think it’s right, but I guess if they’re going to do it, then I guess it’s okay for me to do it,» and then they get convicted about it, you just did the wrong thing. You’re not acting in love because love will never be a stumbling block to Jesus; love will always be a stepping stone to Jesus. Let me give you some context: you may not know this, but if you’re a Disney World fan, you’ll appreciate this. Disney World has two rules today.
Rule number one: bankrupt every family that goes there—that’s rule number one. But here’s rule number two; this is really their number one rule. I’m not joking. I’ve been to Disney; I’ve been behind the scenes at Disney. We studied leadership there many years ago. This is their number one rule: they will do nothing that would cause a child to stop believing in Mickey Mouse; they will not do it. That’s why you’ll never see Mickey at two different places, never. That’s a rule. So if you’re a child and you walk around the corner and Mickey’s standing there, you won’t walk around another corner and see Mickey standing there. They won’t do one thing; they want to ensure your child walks in believing in Mickey and walks out believing in Mickey.
Let me tell you something: how much more should we decide to never compromise the Gospel, never compromise Jesus, and never do anything to put a stumbling block that might ever drive anybody away from Jesus? Now remember, keep this in mind: both of these individuals were at fault. Here’s the problem: the weak believer can become a legalist. He thinks it’s all about dos and don’ts, and if you do what you shouldn’t do, or if you don’t do what I do, then you’re out of the will of God. They become legalistic; it’s all about rules. But the strong believer can become a liberal: «I can do anything I want; it doesn’t bother me. I don’t care if it bothers anybody else.» But Paul says, «Both of you have to be careful.»
This is my word to both of you: because we have some so-called weaker believers in this church, and we have some so-called stronger believers in this church, my message to both is that we need to avoid being a liberal or a legalist. Let me explain why: they both have the same problem, just from different directions. Liberals stop short of the Bible; legalists go around or go above the Bible. Liberals go beneath it; legalists go beyond it. I’m going to give you a great example from my own life. You ready? I don’t drink; I’ve never had a drink and never will have one. I just don’t drink. But I don’t stand in judgment on people who do; I don’t look down on people who do. My personal preference is that, if it were up to me, no Christian would drink.
However, if I look at a fellow believer and say, «If you drink, you’re wrong,» I just become the weaker brother; I’m condemning you for something I can’t condemn you for. There’s nothing in the Bible—I wish there were; there’s not. Some of you may not like this: the Bible condemns drunkenness; it doesn’t condemn drinking. That doesn’t mean I can’t think, or I don’t think I can build a case as to why it’s better not to. But that’s beside the point. What I can’t do—and I used to try to do this—I cannot shove my personal preference down somebody’s throat. I cannot do that. So whatever you do, remember this one principle: it’s in verse 16: «Therefore, do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil.»
In other words, this is what Paul said: you may be right on a certain issue, but there are going to be certain contexts. If you really love someone, you’re going to live within your limits of liberty. Let me give you a really easy example: if you’re having dinner with someone who is a recovering alcoholic, you don’t drink. It’s not that drinking in and of itself is wrong, but you could be causing someone to stumble. This leads Paul to his last point before we are done. He says, «The last thing to remember is this: avoid causing others to harm themselves.» Now Paul sums up and says, «Can I tell you what I want for all of you?»
So, you’re the stronger believer; you’re fine with all this seafood and all this alcohol, and you’re good with it all, but you’re the weaker believer. Boy, I don’t think you ought to eat any of that or drink any of that. He says, «Can I just say a word? This is what I want all of you to do.» Here we go; what’s that word? Say it loud: therefore, make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Paul says, «This is not hard; everybody ought to do everything they can to be peacemakers, not peace-breakers.» Paul says, «This is not hard; we’re not to tear down; we’re to build up.» Paul says, «This is not hard; we’re not in the demolition business; we’re in the construction business.»
So he goes on to say this: «Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it’s wrong for a person to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It’s better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall.» So now we know what Paul’s saying. You ready? If Paul were here today and you were preaching this sermon, here’s what he would say to our church: most of you, when it comes to these gray areas of life, ask the wrong question. Here’s the question you ask: who is right? Paul says it is the wrong question. The question is not who is right; the question is what is right. That’s the question most people don’t ask.
«Well, I think I’m right to do this.» That’s not the issue. You may be, but that’s not the question. It is what is right. Now, let that be clear: this does not mean—don’t hear me say this—that I’m not saying the weaker believer is always a tail that wags the dog. If somebody says, «Well, I don’t believe I should drink; therefore, nobody should drink,» they are wrong if they do. Paul would look at that person and say, «Stop it; you’re not their judge. It is not your job to hold them accountable to your standard. They’re not accountable to you; they’re accountable to God.»
So just because you may think, or I may think, it’s wrong to play cards, wrong to drink, wrong to dance, wrong to get a tattoo, wrong to chew tobacco, or wrong to vote a certain way, that doesn’t mean it’s wrong for anybody else. Stop it! On the other hand, Paul says to the stronger believer: before you do what you’re about to do, before you eat what you’re about to eat, before you drink what you’re about to drink, if you think it might tempt someone to go against what they believe is wrong and do it just because you’re doing it, then you’re wrong to do it. So how, Pastor, do we decide? At the end of the day, what do you do when you’re in that gray area? How do you decide what you believe is right or wrong when the Bible’s silent, when the Bible’s not clear, when the Bible doesn’t say anything? Well, Paul doesn’t leave us hanging. He says, «Okay, I’ll tell you what to do.»
Here’s what he says: so whatever you believe about these things, this is so good, keep between yourself and God. Let me just stop right there and say this real quick: I’ve already voted. You know what’s funny about that? You don’t know how I voted. Here’s what’s funny: some of you think you know how I voted, but you don’t, and I’m not going to tell you. I’m going to keep that between me and God.
Now, I told the first service, and I’ll tell you this: I said, «Look, I’m not ashamed of it. If you want to come ask me privately how I voted, I’d be glad to tell you and tell you why I did it. I can’t tell it to anybody else because if anybody else wants to know, they need to come ask me. I’m going to keep this between me and God.» But I’ll tell you this: keep it between you and God. «Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves.» But keep reading: «whoever has doubts is condemned if they eat, because their eating is not from faith, and everything that does not come from faith is sin.» Now this is where I’m going to be really preaching to myself. Paul is not saying here, «Hey, just let your conscience be your guide.» No, because your conscience is not always right.
There were men last night who had an affair and slept with a woman they weren’t married to, and they slept like a baby. Does that mean they were right? No, because they either don’t have a conscience or they feel no guilt because they have a bad conscience. Here’s what Paul is saying: if your personal conscience contradicts biblical conviction, don’t do it. That’s why Paul said, «Everything that does not come from faith is sin.» So, I’m going to make this real easy and sum it all up: if the Lord convicts you that something is wrong, you better not do it, even if every other Christian is doing it.
Let me tell you one main reason why I don’t drink. I’m not talking about you; I’m talking about me. If I took a drink, I’d feel convicted; I would think I was doing wrong. I want to make sure y’all hear me. Did I say I thought you would be wrong if you took a drink? Did I say that? Can anybody agree? I didn’t say that. I’m not saying that, and I don’t think it would be for me. One of the reasons is, yes, I’m a pastor, and I read in the Bible where it says you better not become a teacher because you’re going to be held to a stricter judgment. I have five grandkids; they may all grow up and they may all drink. That’s between them and the Lord. I will never say one negative word about it to them, none. But they will never say they drank because they saw Pop drink; that’s not going to happen. That’s just me, not on anybody else. Nobody should think this is a veiled message to anyone else; this is just about me. Paul was right: if it’s not of faith, it’s sin.
So, Pastor, if I drink, is it sin? Are you convicted of it? No? You get drunk? No? Then it’s okay, but I’m not you; I’m me. The point Paul makes is this: it’s so easy. If you doubt whether you ought to do something, you shouldn’t do it. It’s not hard. I love this story: there was a man who was in his bedroom getting ready to go to a party while his wife was in the living room. He picked out a shirt, put it on, and yelled from the bedroom, «Honey, could you come and look at the shirt and tell me if it’s clean enough to wear?» She said, «I don’t need to; it’s not.» He said, «I’m sorry, I don’t think you understood me. Could you come to the bedroom? I need you to look at the shirt and tell me if it’s clean enough to wear.» She yelled back and said, «I don’t need to; it’s not.»
That kind of irritated him. He got another shirt, buttoned it up, walked out, and said, «I’ve got a question: how did you know that shirt was not clean enough for me to wear?» She said, «If it’s doubtful, it’s dirty. If you have to ask, it’s not.» There are certain things in my life I don’t have to ask the Lord about. For me, there are certain things that, if I did or did not do them, would be sinful. Maybe I do go to extremes sometimes; I’m not saying I don’t. But I would love to stand before God and have Him say to me, «You never did one thing that would put a stumbling block in front of other believers.»
So, I didn’t tell this to the first service, but I think I’ll share it here and kind of wrap this up. If you think any of this is political, you don’t understand anything I’ve said. It’s not. Eight years ago, I was asked to join an advisory council for a president, and I turned it down. The reason I turned it down is that I knew if I did, there would be certain people in our community, and certain people I’m trying to reach, for whom it would be a stumbling block. I will never, even for political purposes, do anything to put a stumbling block in front of people coming to Jesus. I will not do it; I will not compromise my God. I’m not going to be like those who did it, same for me; I can’t do it. So, I’m going to wrap this up in the spirit of the one who died, rose again, and came back from the grave. I’d like to ask you, even if you don’t take notes, to write down four things right now. Even if you don’t take notes, do this one thing for me for the rest of your life: Before you decide to do something, before you decide to say something, before you decide to eat or drink something, wherever you may be, ask four questions. Just run it through this grinder.
Number one: Will this unite or divide? See, I could get up here and do what some have done from the pulpit: If you vote for blank, something’s wrong with your Christianity. I’m not doing that; it’s just divisive. We will unite or divide. Number two: Will this help or hurt? I want to help the church, never hurt the church. I want to help believers, never hurt believers. I want to help people come to Christ, not hurt their chances of doing so. Number three: Will it build a bridge or a barrier? Everything we do will do one of those two things: build a bridge or a barrier. I want to build bridges. Number four: Will it be more likely to draw people to Jesus or drive people from Jesus?
That, to me, is the big one. I want to do everything I can not to be a water hose that repels people from Jesus. I want to do everything I can to be a magnet that draws people to Jesus. So, when you don’t see eye to eye, do whatever you can to bring glory to God and goodness to others; you can leave the results to Him. We’re going to do something right now that we did in the first service, and I’m going to ask you to do it with me next Sunday.
If you’ve never been here for a while or you’re new, next Sunday, when whoever’s elected is announced, we’re going to get on our knees and pray for the president. We’ve done this every election Sunday since I became pastor of this church. We’re going to get on our knees and pray for whoever the next president is. Now, some of you are probably thinking, «I’m glad you told me, because if my guy doesn’t win, I won’t be here.»
Well, that’s on you. We’re going to do that, but today I want us to get on our knees and pray for the country, pray for the election, and pray that God’s will be done. Whoever wins, pray for peace in the nation, because I kind of fear what could happen if someone wins or someone else loses. But I want to say this before we pray: whoever is elected next Wednesday morning—if we find out then; it may take next year the way things are going—if it affects your joy at all, then your joy is in the wrong place. My joy is not in a party, my joy is not in a preference; my joy is in a person, and His name is Jesus. That doesn’t affect my joy at all. My peace is not found in a government, a president, or a governor; my hope is certainly not found in a Republican, Democrat, or independent. My hope is in the Lord, who’s coming again, who’s in control, and who works everything out together for the good of those who love Him.
So, would you get on your knees right now, as you’re physically able, and let’s just pray and wrap this service up? Would you pray with me? Let’s pray for the nation, pray for our country, and pray for our people.
Father, I want to thank You for Your Word. I want to thank You for truth. I want to thank You, Heavenly Father, that we have a Word that tells us where the black and whites are. I want to thank You that You’re a loving God who gives us the freedom in the gray areas to disagree and have different opinions. But, Lord, I just pray we’ll always do it in a Christlike way. Father, I pray for people to vote; everybody ought to vote, regardless of how they vote. They ought to vote—we have a sacred responsibility and duty to vote. At the end of the day, regardless of what my or someone else’s personal preference may be, when Wednesday morning comes, I may not be happy; some others in this church will be happy, some will be sad, and some will be glad while others will be mad. But at the end of the day, when Wednesday morning comes, I know the sun will still come up. I know Jesus is still on the throne, I know the world is in His hands, I know everything is under control, and most of all, I know You’re going to work everything out together for the good of those who love You. So may Your perfect will be done, and for whoever it is that is elected, we will go ahead now and pray that You’ll put Your favor on them, Your hand on them, that they would surround themselves with godly advisers and counselors, and that You would use them as instruments in Your hand to lead this nation back to righteousness and godliness. I pray this in Jesus' name, and all of God’s people said, «Amen.»
Okay, one last thing, and we’ll be done. We don’t do politics in our church. Some of you probably know that we don’t. I’ll tell you why: we’re about one thing in this church—we’re about the gospel. That’s what we’re about. I’m a lot more concerned about whether you’re born again and a part of the family of God than about whether you’re a Republican, Democrat, or independent. The one who ought to always have our vote is the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords—that ought to have our vote. So, if you’ve never given your life to Christ, if you’ve never trusted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, and you’re watching on the screen right now—whether you’re online, on a computer, on television, or you’re in this room—and you’ve never trusted Christ, even while you’re looking at me on that screen or through this camera, or even while you’re in this room with your eyes open, you could, in your heart right now, say:
Lord Jesus, no matter who is elected next week, I don’t need them; I need You. I’m a sinner; I need a Savior. I believe You died for my sins; I believe God raised You from the dead; I believe You’re alive right now. So, Lord Jesus, come into my heart, save me, and forgive me of my sins. I repent, turn away from my sins, and transfer everything I am to everything that You are.