James Merritt - Good God Almighty
When I was a small boy, my mom and dad taught me a prayer and I bet a lot of you were taught that same prayer. And it goes like this. "God is great. God is good. Let us thank Him for our food". How many of you prayed that prayer as a kid? A lot of us did, right? God is great. God is good. Let us thank Him for our food. Amen. Now, that seems like a pretty simple harmless prayer and you would think, "Well, nobody have a problem with that". Oh, they do. More than a few people have a big, big problem with that prayer. They strongly object to it for this reason. There are three words at least in that prayer they don't like, they don't believe. And those three words are, "God is good".
I've talked to a lot of people in my ministry. That's a stopper for them. That's a wall for them. "Don't talk to me about the goodness of God. You don't know what I've been through. You don't know the hurt and the heartache that I've had in my life". Maybe you've heard a Christian say something like this, "God is good all the time. All the time God is good". And obviously, the goodness of God is a bedrock belief for those of us who know Jesus. And we all say we would believe that God is good and God is good all the time. But there's a lot of skeptics out there and a lot of cynics out there. It keeps them from becoming a Christian.
I was telling our staff today, "Yesterday, I listened for 2 1/2 hours to a pod to, on YouTube, I was listening to a debate between Frank Turek, who's a great Christian apologist and Christopher Hitchens. Some of you've heard of him. He was a new atheist. What they call a new atheist. I listened for 2 1/2 hours. It was one of the saddest things I've ever listened to in my life. And this is something I want us to, what Turek said at the end. They got an opening statement, closing statement, Q&A, then closing statements, Well, Turek got to go last. And he made this statement and he looked right at Christopher Hitchens who died of esophageal cancer about four years ago. He looked at him and here's what he said. And I thought, 'Man, I wish I'd thought of that.' He said, 'Christopher, you think there is no God and you hate Him.' God knows there's a Christopher Hitchens and He loves him".
There's your choice. Either God is good or God is not. And there are a lot of people out there that once you talk about a good God, they say, "Hey, stop the bus. This is where I get off". Because there are three teachings in the Bible that at first glance don't seem to fit together all that well. In fact, they're found in that very childlike prayer. All three of those things are found in that prayer because the central teaching of the Bible is that God is great. God is great. We serve a great God. He's all powerful. He can do anything that doesn't contradict His character. And we believe that. But then there's a second teaching that is that God hates evil, and we believe that. He hates anything that has to do with evil. And He loves goodness.
But there's a third teaching and that is that evil is real. It is. I mean, God is good, but the world's not always good. God is good, but people are not always good. I got news for you. People wanna talk about hypocrites in the church. We got plenty of them. If you're one, and by the way, if you think there are hypocrites in the church, we got more room. Come on down, we've got room for you too. But the truth of the matter is Christians are not always good. And so, we've got a problem because if God is great and if God is good, and if God knows about evil things and if God hates evil, then the question is, "Well, if that is all true, why doesn't God do something about it"? We call this the problem of evil.
And here's the way people try to resolve it. When people look at God and we say God is good and then they look at a world that's full of evil, then there are three ways they try to resolve that problem. First of all, there are some people, they just deny God all together. That's what Christopher Hitchens did. He said, "Don't try to sell me on this dictator, this authoritative being up there that doesn't even either have enough goodness or enough greatness to stop all of this evil". And the idea that a good God would allow evil to go on is absolutely the number one reason that causes people to doubt the existence of God.
So there's some people that just say, "Oh, I can solve your problem. There is no God". But then there are some people, they don't wanna deny the existence of God. They realize there's just too much evidence that there's somebody out there. So, they don't deny God, they deny the greatness of God. They say, "Well look, you know, maybe God is good, but He probably evidently just doesn't have the power to do anything about the bad stuff that happens". And then the third way that people try to solve the problem is they deny the goodness of God. They say, "Well, I do believe in a God and I do believe he's got greatness. I mean, how could all this come to be if it were not some kind of a great God out there? But here's my problem. Evidently he's just not good enough to care about what happens. He's just not good enough to keep bad things from happening to good people".
Lemme give you a great example. Years ago, about five, six years ago, Teresa and I were together at Ted's Montana over here at the mall. And we were sitting outside waiting on our table and who comes walking out, but Ted Turner? I had never met him before. Ted Turner was walking out, had a couple of blonde ladies on each arm and a guy right behind him. And I could tell by the look on his face, he probably wasn't interested in hearing, "God has a great plan for your life," okay? So, he's just walking by and I, Teresa didn't see first. "Hey, look. There's Ted Turner". And he walked by, we're shuffling but I felt so very sorry 'cause you don't know the story of Ted Turner.
Lemme tell you to it very quickly. Ted Turner is famous for saying, "Christianity is a religion for losers". That's his big say. And the reason he says that is because he attended a Christian prep school. But he had a younger sister who became very sick. Ted Turner said he prayed five years for God to heal his sister, but she died. And the moment she died, Ted Turner said, "I have no use for a God that would allow my sister to die. I have no use for a God that would tolerate that kind of suffering". So if you're joining us for the first time, we're in a series that we're calling, "I Doubt It". We're dealing with the top doubts that both believers and unbelievers have about God. And one of the doubts that are out there and it's really out there is that God is good.
Now, lemme just make something plain about where I stand. I do believe that God is good and I do believe that God is great. However, let me make something very plain. If God is not good, then God is not great. You can't separate the two. If God is not good, God is not great. And by the way, if God is not great, it doesn't matter if God is good or not, it's irrelevant 'cause you can't do anything about it. So, the question before us today is why should we believe in the goodness of God? When I get a call like I got this week, that a 41-year-old man with three young boys has esophageal cancer. A man who loves God, a man who goes to church, a man who reads his Bible, and a man who prays.
Why should you believe in a good God when you've got an earthquake that kills thousands of people in Turkey, followed up by another earthquake? Why should you believe in the goodness of God when you've got terrorists who fly planes into buildings and killed a young man that was in my youth group at First Baptist Smyrna. A young man that I saw saved, a young man that loved Jesus who was up in a top office floor of one of those towers just trying to earn a living for his family who had done nothing wrong to anybody, but he died just the same.
So, why do you believe that God is good? Well, the good news is there was a man in the Bible who had the same problem we had. He had the same struggle we had. He had the same doubt that we had. His name is Aleph, A-L-E-P-H. And in the 119th Psalm, if you wanna turn to it, it's right in the middle of your Bible. In the 119th Psalm, he writes this psalm and he makes a very bold statement about God. Here's what he says. "You are good and You do, what You do is good; teach me Your decrees".
Now, he said two unequivocal things about God. God is good and God does good. So, why should I believe Aleph? Why? I mean, I believe him. And you say, "Well, can you tell me why"? Y'all, I'll tell you in one sentence why I believe God is good. I'm gonna make my case today. There is good because God is good. There is good because God is good. Lemme put that negatively. If there is no God, then there is no good 'cause you can't have good without God. And I'm gonna give you four reasons why we ought to believe in what I call Good God Almighty. I like that title. Number one. God is good because He can determine good from evil. God is good because He can determine good from evil.
Now, let's be honest. One approach you could take is you could, you know to say, "You know, I just don't believe evil exists". There's some people that actually say that. There's some forms of Eastern religion that teaches evil's just an illusion. For example, according to Hindus, Hindu thought, once you achieve this state of nirvana, the right state of mystical consciousness, evil is absence. And right here in America, we got religious groups in this country, we've got New Age spiritualities, they pretty much say the same thing. Evil doesn't exist. I had a friend of mine, he was a tailor he made suits. And I got to know him pretty well. And he was a Christian scientist. And he was adamant, absolutely adamant that evil is not real. Evil's just a figment of our imagination. Evil just does not exist.
Now, I'm gonna be honest, I'm going to assume most of you like me, absolutely believe evil exists. And the reason why we do is because we've experienced the effects of it. So, nobody has to tell us that there are bad things out there because bad things have happened. But if you can't get rid of evil, then the next step is you just get rid of God. Because again, what good is a God who allows evil to go on if He could stop it? So long ago, there was a Greek philosopher, Epicurus, who put it this way. You may have heard this before. "Either God wants to abolish evil and He can't, or He can, but He doesn't want to, or He can't and doesn't want to. If he wants to, but He can't, He's impotent. If He can, but He doesn't want to, He's wicked. If He's good, He would. If He could, He should. The fact that He doesn't means He can't or He won't. So in that case, He doesn't exist".
And Epicurus kind of popped his hands and said, "That takes care of the idea of God". Well, not so fast, my friend. Because if you eliminate God altogether or a good God, you run into a brick wall. You say why? Once you admit the existence of evil, and we all would do this in this room, all of you listening to me right now, you would admit that. Once you admit the existence of evil, you have to admit the existence of good. Because what is evil? Just the opposite of things that are good. So for example, if I say about someone, you're immoral, or if I say you're unjust, or if I say you're unfair, or if I say you're dishonest, why would I say that? Because I know people who are moral and who are just, and who are fair, and who are honest.
But here's the problem. Once you admit evil, you have to admit good. And once you introduce good, you have to introduce God. You say, "Why is that"? Very simple. There has to be an absolute standard of good that never changes. Because if there's not one absolute standard of good that never changes, that means good and evil is just a matter of personal opinion. What may be good to you may not be good to me. What may be evil to you may not be evil to me. And the goalpost of goodness will always be moving. That's why frankly, contrary to what they say, in the world of atheism there could really be no actual good or evil because there's no absolute standard by which to judge anything has been good or evil to begin with.
So, here's what's really interesting. The atheist says, "You know why I don't believe in God? Because of the problem of evil. The problem of evil disproves God". You know what I say? "Thank you for reminding me you're so wrong. The problem of evil doesn't disprove God. It proves God". It's not an argument against God. It's actually an argument for God. Why? There's only one reason there is good. Because there is a God who is good. 'Cause only God can determine good from evil. I would believe every one of us in this room would think it's evil, atrociously evil to put a Jew in an oven and bake him like chicken because he's Jewish. Hitler said, "No, no, no, no. It's actually a good thing. This world would be better off if we get rid of all the Jews". Now, we gasp. We say, "Oh, how hideous. Oh, how wrong". Based on what? Other than God, that's just an opinion because only God can determine good from evil.
Reason number two. God is good because he can direct good and evil. 'Cause here's the problem, I'll admit it. Even if you bring God into the problem, even if you bring God into the equation, that doesn't solve the problem, it actually exposes the problem. Because something bothered Asaph, and he wrote about it in another psalm, Psalm 73. You ought to read it. When you get home, go read Psalm 73 'cause it's all about answering this question that we've all asked at one time or another.
"Why do good things happen to bad people? And why do bad things happen to good people"? I'll be honest with you. That, it bugs me at times. Yeah, it bothers me that I see people who are rich. God's not even on their radar screen. They give nothing to the kingdom of God. They give nothing to the work of God. They don't even like the idea of God. They don't have any room for God, but they prosper. And then, I see good people who love God. They love Jesus. They go to church. And they struggle all of their lives just to make a living. Asaph struggles with that question. But he says this in verse 28. "But as for me, it is good to be near God". Now, watch this. "I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge. I will tell of all Your deeds".
Now, notice what he calls God. He calls God the Sovereign Lord. Now if God is the Sovereign Lord, that very simply means God is in control of everything. Not most things, not some things. God is in control of everything. He is all powerful. So, what do I know? Here's what I know. Can God keep bad things from happening to good people? Absolutely. Can God forbid evil from ever happening to anybody? Well, of course. Because if God is the Sovereign Lord, lemme tell you what I know that means. That means nothing can happen to you or to me unless one of two things is true. Either God causes it or God allows it. Whatever happens to you, either God causes it or God allows it.
So, we also know something else. No matter how good you try to be, bad things gonna happen to you. Can I be honest with you? If you don't miss church one Sunday for the next year, if you read your Bible every single day, if you pray for an hour every single day, if you give both a tithe and offering to this church every single week, if you give money to help feed poor people every single month, you get out there on that interstate and you go a hundred miles an hour, you going to jail. It doesn't matter what you've done. Bad things can happen to good people. So on the one hand, let's be honest. Many times he does keep bad things from happening to good people, right? He kept the lions from eating Daniel. He kept the fire from frying Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. He kept the giant Goliath from breaking David in half.
So, here's what I know about God and it kinda drives you nuts. I know You can do it, but why don't You always do it? That's what gets us. I know He can do it. So if God can prevent bad things, listen, this is logical. If God can prevent bad things from happening to any good person, why doesn't God keep bad things from happening to every good person? If God can deliver David today, why doesn't he deliver a martyr tomorrow? 'Cause if God could keep bad things from acting to me any of the time, why doesn't God keep bad things from happening to me all of the time? You say, "Yeah, I'd like to know an answer to that question".
Okay. It's not gonna make some of you feel very good. And I wish I could do better, but I can't. In the Bible, God never explains why He allows evil and suffering. Never does it. Matter of fact, lemme tell you one. Ready for this? You ever thought about this? Go all the way back to the Garden of Eden. What tempted Eve in the garden of Eden? What was it? Somebody tell me. Snake, right? Simple question. Why did God allow the snake to begin with? Why didn't God just put up the fence and keep the snake out? All right, here's my brilliant answer. I don't know. You don't either. I don't know. Doesn't that bother you? No. Because the Sovereign God that created me does not owe me an explanation. Doesn't owe you one. I just know the judge of the earth will do what's right.
So on the other hand, even though evil and suffering does not always make sense to us, listen to me carefully, that doesn't mean it doesn't make sense. There are a lot of things in this life that don't make sense to me. I'll give you an example. I will never understand electricity. I don't get it. I don't understand it. But I don't go around putting my fingers in sockets, right? I just, I don't understand it. Certain things I don't do. I don't understand how I can take a cell phone, no wires, no connection to anything, just thin air, and I can talk to somebody in China like I'm talking to you. It doesn't make sense to me. It doesn't mean it doesn't make sense, it just doesn't make sense to me.
But if God is sovereign and all powerful, lemme tell you what that means. God can take even a bad jagged piece of a puzzle and make it fit perfectly 'cause he is the Sovereign God. Because not only is God great, not only is God good, God is all knowing. He knows everything. See, we don't even know what we don't know. But there's nothing that God doesn't know. Well, since God knows everything, then God knows how to direct both good and evil in such a way that when the smoke is cleared and the clouds part, everything works out for my good and for His glory 'cause He has the ability to do that.
That's why it's always a good thing in every situation today, to put your complete faith and hope and trust in God and focus on God alone for every need that you have. Understanding, yep, there are times that God allows bad things to happen to us. There are times that God allows evil to come into our lives, to force us to look to Him, to force us to focus on Him, to force us to trust Him, to force us to surrender to Him. Someone is well observed and I thought this is a great statement. "When you're flat on your back, the only direction you can look is up. When you're flat on your back, the only direction you can look is up". And God has a way of directing both good and evil to mature us and grow us and increase our faith and trust in Him.
I tell you a third reason I believe God is good. God is good because He can derive good from evil. He can derive good from evil. Lemme tell you a story. Some of you, your kids are in here and children who may be in here. One of the greatest stories in Bible, one of the greatest stories you can ever teach your kids by the way, is the story of a man named Joseph. Not the father of Jesus, but the Joseph, the Old Testament. I love that story. I preached through Joseph several times. I love Joseph. One of the few men in the Bible, nothing negative's ever said about Joseph.
So, for those of you may not know much about the Bible or know much about Joseph, those of you do, bear with me for a moment. Lemme just go back and pretend you don't. Joseph was a man who had 11 brothers. They were very jealous of him because he was his father's favorite son. That was no fault of his, it was just his father just loved him and just kinda, he was kinda the apple of his eye. And God had very, very special plans for Joseph. They finally got to a point they couldn't take it anymore. So, they sell Joseph into slavery. He goes to a foreign land, he begins to work for a man named Potiphar. Potiphar has a wife. The wife really takes a liking to Joseph. She tries to get Joseph to sleep with her. Joseph will not do it because he would never do that to his master and he certainly wouldn't do it to God.
So because he wouldn't sleep with her, she gets mad, and in a jealous rage, she accuses him of rape. He doesn't even get a trial. He goes to jail and he spends 10 years of his life in jail. But through all those events, God used every one of those to make Joseph the prime minister of Egypt. And he eventually gets to save the entire family from a famine that would've wiped everybody out. Well, years later when his brothers like, who thought he was dead for many years were forced to go to Egypt to get food because of this worldwide famine, they were brought to Joseph. And in God's way of doing things, he recognized them but they didn't recognize him.
So not to go into all the details, but Joseph does a good thing. He kinda teaches his brothers some lessons that they needed to learn. He didn't tell them right away that he's their brother. He's teaching them some lessons. Don't have time to get into that. But to finally came to that point where Joseph revealed himself to his brothers. And I mean, when he let them know he was Joseph, they, let's just say they all needed Depends at that moment. They said, "He's gonna kill us for all that we've done to him". And then, Joseph makes this great statement in Genesis 50:20. "You intended to harm me, evil, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives".
See, God can do that. God is so good, He can actually derive good from evil. In fact, I'm gonna tell you something that's gonna blow your mind. If I were to say to you, do you normally think of things like hurricanes and tornadoes and earthquakes as kind of being evil? You'd say, "Yeah, those things are just bad things". And you know, really, I'm sure a lot of us would say, "I wish we could just get rid of all those things. Earthquakes, tornadoes, and hurricanes, you know? And I wish we could".
Well, thank God we can't because scientists have told us that we now know that those things are actually necessary for the world's benefit. Really. Planetary science now affirms that these events have to occur for the earth to maintain what they need to have for the environmental conditions for us to survive. Lemme give you an example. Let's just take hurricanes. You know what hurricanes do? Listen to this. They counterbalance the ocean's tendency to leech carbon dioxide from the atmosphere. Otherwise, there would be a catastrophic cooling of the planet. Hurricanes prevent the oceans from trapping too much of the sun's heat by helping to circulate greenhouse gases globally as they shade the ocean, preventing the heat from building up too dramatically. Otherwise, many fish and sea creatures would die.
So, the next time a hurricane comes up, if you're like me, and you like oysters and shrimp and flounder and grouper, thank God for hurricanes. 'Cause other than that, they would all die. I bet you didn't know that. Well, wait a minute. How about earthquakes? Did you know that the shifting of tectonic plates, which causes earthquakes, allows the essential nutrients for life to be recycled back onto the continents, onto the land? In other words, without earthquakes, nutrients essential for land life would erode off the continents and accumulate in the oceans. That means in a relatively brief time, almost every creature on land, especially people like us, we'd starve to death.
So, every time you have an earthquake, nutrients are poured back onto the land, back into the continent, building mountains, enriching soil, regulating the planet's temperature, and maintaining the sea's chemical balance. And if that's not enough for you, why don't we think about the way God is good to us every single day? For example. He gives us air to breathe every day. Do you have any idea how much the government would tax us on air if they could do it? He gives us sunlight and heat free of charge.
Can you imagine how much the government would love to tax us on sunlight and heat? And you know the way things are going and the way people are moving, you know what they do, right? They would tax you more in Florida than they would in New York 'cause you get more heat than you do in New York. They know what they're doing. God says, "No, I'll give it to you free of charge". And then a lot of us, we get sick, we get cancer, we get strokes, we have heart illness or whatever. We get mad at God and upset with God because we don't have our health anymore. But you went 40, 50, 60, 70, and 80 years with good health and never said a word of thanks. God is good all the time. All the time God is good every day.
Reason number four, we're done. God is good because He will deliver us to good from evil. Now, watch this. It's not just true, it's just not true that evil eliminates God's reality or God's goodness. As a matter of fact, let's just go back to those three points that we talked about earlier in the message. But I wanna add a fourth one. Number one, God is great. Number two, God hates evil. Number three, evil is real. We're gonna add a fourth one. God has good reasons for permitting evil. You see, a great God who is good, this is one thing I think we could all agree on. A great God who is good will prevent suffering. He will prevent evil unless He's got a good reason not to. Unless He's got a greater purpose not to.
So, sometimes the reason why God allows an evil is because it will produce a greater good. Now, if you don't believe that, I'd only have exhibit A is the only exhibit I need. Because the greatest evil that's ever been perpetrated in the history of this planet. No other evil even comes close. The greatest evil that was ever perpetrated on this planet was when the only perfect person who ever lived was crucified for your sins and crucified for my sins. Who died a death He should not have died. And He did that, not just so we'd have life on this earth, but eternal life with God forever. Which by the way is why we call the Friday before Easter what? Really? Really? Really? It wasn't good for Him. Can I get an amen to that? Wasn't good for him. Oh, we're quick to call it Good Friday. Well, how'd it work out for Him? Not too well.
Now, it wasn't a good Friday for Him, but it was a great Friday for us. Because on that day, the greatest, only perfect person who ever lived endured the greatest injustice and experienced the greatest evil. So, here's a thought. The next time something bad happens to you, here's a thought. Think about Jesus dying on the cross. And the next time something bad happens to you, instead of asking the question, "Why did You do this to me"? Why don't you ask this one? "Why did You do that for me? Why did You do that for me"?
So, when I go to the cross of Jesus Christ, Mr. Hitchens, and I know you're dead and I fear for where you may be. Don't talk to me about not believing in a good God. 'Cause just like we talked about last week, that was settled 2,000 years ago at the cross of Jesus. Because guess what? You know what came outta Good Friday? I don't have time to list them all. I'll just give you a few. Here's what came outta Good Friday. Salvation, eternal life, forgiveness, mercy, peace, joy, love and a home to heaven to boot. Not too bad for a Good Friday. Not too bad for a Good Friday. Worked out great for us.
So, any good we ever experience in this life and the life to come, would've never been possible if the greatest evil had not been committed. By the way, we better thank God not only that there is a God, but there is a good God. Lemme tell you why. If there is no God, and even if there is, if that God is not good, guess what? Evil wins. Because Hitler gets away with it. Stalin gets away with it. Serial murderers get away with it. Terrorists get away with it. Robbers and thieves get away with it. Everybody gets away with everything, but that's just not true because God is so good, He will deliver all of us from evil to that which is good forever and ever and ever.
So years ago, Marshall Shelley was one of the editors of Christianity Today, and he told the story of the miraculous birth of his son. He and his wife had tried for years to have a baby, and they finally were able to conceive. Well, while the baby was still in the womb, they found out that he had an abnormal heart. And the doctor said he probably won't even survive the birth if the baby makes it that far. Well, they both begin to wrestle with God and ask the questions any normal person would ask. "Why would you do this, God? We tried so hard, we begged You, we pleaded with You, we've prayed, we've asked You to give us a child. Why would you have, why would you even impregnate her? Why would you even let us conceive and give us a child that won't even make it to birth"?
So, they prayed for a miracle, for survival, and that God would give that child the breath of life. So, the day came and the child was born. And it was a beautiful, beautiful baby. And they thought to themselves, "God is so good". And as they watched that little boy's chest rise and fall with every breath, they were just so filled with gratitude. But that lasted for two minutes. And two minutes later that child turned from pink to blue and breathed one more breath, and he died. He lived two minutes.
So, how are they gonna respond? What do you have to say now about your good God? When the nurse walked in, she even had tears coming down her cheeks. And she very tenderly asked the question, "Do you have a name for your little boy"? And Marshall's wife looked at her and said, "Yes, ma'am. We're gonna name him Tobi". "Oh," she said, "Is that a family name"? She said, "No ma'am. It's a biblical name. It's short for Tobia". Would you like to know what that means? She said, "Yes, I would". She said, "The name Tobia means God is good". "Wait a minute. How could you say that? How in the world? Looking at the corpse of a two-minute old baby that you gave nine months of your life to bring into this world. How could you say that"?
Here's why. She knew what I know. Evil doesn't tell me that God doesn't exist. Evil doesn't tell me that God doesn't care. Evil doesn't tell me that God is weak. Evil doesn't tell me that God is impotent. It tells me that God is so great and God is so good that He can even allow evil and suffering in this world. and I know He can do it because He uses two beams put together in the shape of a cross that was intended for evil, but it accomplished the greatest good of all. Eternal glory which will last for the good of all of us forever and forever.
In the name of Jesus, Father, I wanna thank You today for Your goodness. I wanna thank You that You're a good God. You're a great God. You're a gracious God. We wouldn't even know what good is if You were not here, if You were not present. If You didn't give us that standard, we wouldn't even know what it is. We couldn't tell what it is. We could not say what it is. But there is good because there is God and God is good.
For those of us in this room, those of you who are watching right now, if you do not believe in God or if you've never trusted in Jesus Christ and your big problem has been, "Yeah, but you know this happened to me, that happened to me. Hard for me to believe in a good God". Let's get something straight right now. You cannot doubt the goodness of God if you believe in the cross of Jesus Christ. You cannot do it. It's impossible. It is impossible. God is so good. Jesus is so wonderful that he would still come and die for us sinners. Unholy, ungodly, selfish, prideful, angry, bitter. He still would die for us 'cause he's a good God. I would invite you today if you've never done so, to give your life to that Jesus, to simply say to that Jesus something like this right now.
Lord, I know You're good. I know You're good because You died for me. Dear God, I know You're good because you sent Jesus to die for me. And I don't have to understand everything to understand this one thing. That You love me and I wanna love you. I'm asking You Lord Jesus to become my Lord. I'm asking You to become my Savior. I'm asking You to forgive me of my sins. I repent. I turn away from my sinful ways right now. I give all that I am to all that You are.