James Meehan - Why Most Christians Get Love Wrong

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Hello and welcome to Switch. My name is James Meehan and today we are going to talk about what Jesus says you must do if you want to be his follower. And just as importantly, we’re gonna talk about how it is absolutely worth it to give your entire life to Jesus because Jesus is better than anything and following him really does have the power to change everything. So we’re gonna look at what Jesus says in Matthew chapter 16 to kick us off in today’s message. He is talking with his disciples and he says something that is really significant.

In verse 24, Jesus says, «Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves, take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it». So my question for you is, what would you be willing to lose, to sacrifice, to give up for your faith in Jesus? How many of you, if you had to make the choice to never watch anything on a streaming service ever again, or never read your Bible ever again, what would you choose? Now I know immediately many of you are thinking, «Oh, of course I would never watch a streaming service ever again because I’m a Christian. Of course I wanna read my Bible». Just wanna offer this. The best indicator of what you will do in the future is what you currently do right now.

And there are some of you who would be tempted to say, «Absolutely, Bible not Netflix». And yet, you haven’t actually read your Bible in weeks and you are caught up on every single season and iteration of Love is Blind that’s out there, the US version and the other ones. So like be honest, what would you actually give up for your faith? Like if you had to choose between staying quiet while your friends are doing things that you know are harmful to them or others, or speaking up and telling them that you are not comfortable with it, what would you choose? What have you chosen? If you had to choose between breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend who is oh, so cute or handsome because they keep pressuring you to compromise on your purity or to stay with them knowing it’s gonna cost your purity, what would you choose? What are you choosing? What have you, what would you give up to pursue Jesus wholeheartedly?

Now what’s interesting is those scenarios that I just presented, like feel for some of you really significant and heavy and weighty because you’re right in the middle of it. And what I’m about to say, this is not your fault, but I need you to understand that there was a time and a place and still is on the earth today, where those words from Jesus about denying yourself, taking up your cross and following him, even if it cost you your life weren’t just metaphor or theory. They have been, and in many places still are reality. Because throughout history, around the globe, there are people who choosing to go public with their faith in Jesus has and might cost them their life.

There’s a pastor in India, his name is Kumar, who just last year was attacked by four men wielding literal swords. They jumped him and tried to cut him to death because he had left Sikhism to pursue Jesus. But thankfully, his wife and his brother intervened. They pushed back the attackers and then they tried to get him to a hospital to treat his wounds. But because of how much prejudice there is against Christians where he lives, they had to go to four different hospitals before somebody would finally agree to treat him. Losing his life for Jesus is not theory or metaphor, it is his reality. And yet, after all of that, Pastor Kumar is still preaching the gospel, planting churches and making disciples because he’s not a faker, he’s a committed follower of Jesus and these right here are his words. He said, «If I live, I live for God, if I die, I die for God». And I wanted to put his words next to Jesus’s words because that’s exactly what Jesus says. «Whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it».

And so Lord Jesus, we come before you right now and we ask that you help us to trust that life with you is always worth it, even when it costs us here on earth, we know that we have an eternal reward with you in heaven. In you name we pray, amen and amen.

We’re in a message series called Fakers or Followers where we are learning together what it takes to become fully devoted followers of Jesus, to become the kind of people who truly love God and love others the same way that Jesus did. And we’re talking about how to avoid the trap that tragically so many Christians, so many of us fall into, becoming half-hearted fakers. People who know all the right words and who maybe present ourselves as holy and spiritual and righteous, but in reality we are more devoted to ourselves than we actually are to Jesus. And so what we’re gonna do this week is we’re gonna look at one of the most famous parables Jesus ever taught. A parable is just an image or a story that illustrates spiritual truth. And this parable is all about what it really means to love God and to love people.

So if you’re taking notes, I want you to write this down because it’s the main point of our message today. It is that fakers sacrifice others to serve themselves, but followers sacrifice themselves to serve others. Fakers sacrifice others to serve themselves, but followers sacrifice themselves to serve others. We’re gonna be reading in Luke chapter 10, starting in verse 25. It begins by telling us that on one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. Now you know that this person’s question is insincere because their motive was not to seek understanding or to learn. It was to test Jesus, to try to make him look bad. And so this expert says, «Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life»?

Now, this idea of inheriting eternal life in their context is about more than just going to heaven when we die. It’s about living rightly, living the way that God intends for us to live. And so Jesus asks the question, «What is written in the law? How do you read it»? Jesus is really smart. He knows the game that this guy is playing and he is basically saying, «Hey, you are the expert, so you tell me». And the expert answers, «Love the Lord’s your God with all of your heart, with all of your soul, with all of your strength, and with all of your mind and love your neighbor as yourself». And Jesus says, «You have answered correctly».

This expert really is an expert. Like he got it exactly right, either because he’s super smart or quite possibly because he had been listening to Jesus. Because this is the exact answer to the question that Jesus gives. When he is asked, what is the most important command in all of scripture? Love God and love your neighbor. And Jesus says, «Do this and you will live». But the expert wanted to justify himself. So he asked, «Okay, but like, who is my neighbor»? Now we’re gonna get to that, but I wanna pause on the, «Do this and you will live».

Because what is so important for us to understand is that the way that we think about and talk about love is wildly different than the way that Jesus talks about love, than the way the Bible talks about love. Because in our modern world today, love is mostly about what we think, how we feel and what we desire. But the way Jesus talks about love is far more about action. It’s about truth and it’s about sacrifice. And so I wanna illustrate it to you this way. Up on the screen there is a picture of a bacon cheeseburger. And this right here, is a picture of my wife, Mandy. I love both of these things, but I love them in very different ways, right? Like when I say, «I love a bacon cheeseburger,» what I mean is they taste really good. Like when I’m hungry, that’s what I want. Like I feel good when I am eating it. If I’m at a restaurant that has burgers and some of those burgers come with bacon and some of them don’t, I’m getting the one with bacon.

Now, when we’re talking about food or music or video games or shows like talking about love in the cheeseburger way, totally works. The problem is that so many of us think that’s what love is entirely. And then we apply that understanding of love to our relationship with God and with human beings, and that is when it makes a mess of our relationships. Because when I talk about loving my wife, I’m not just talking about having positive thoughts about her. I’m not just talking about enjoying the feeling of being around her. I’m not just talking about the fact that I’m attracted to her. All of those things are very true, but that is just scratching the surface of the love that I have for her.

When I say I love my wife, what I’m talking about is I am committed to her no matter what, that I will sacrifice myself to serve her because I love her, that I’m gonna do whatever I can to honor her, cherish her, value her. Like whatever it takes, I will move heaven and earth to show her that I love her. If it means taking a bullet, I’ll do it. If it means doing the dishes, I won’t want to, but I will do it. Why? Because I love her. And she’s not an object to be consumed for my pleasure. She’s a human being made in the image of almighty God. And so when I say I love her, it’s really different than when I talk about loving a bacon cheeseburger. And unfortunately, when we apply the understanding of love, it is all about how we feel, all about what we want, all about our desires to God and people.

What that turns into is so much less than love. It is actually a lot more similar to what the Bible calls lust, because that idea of trying to take from others to get from others, to sacrifice others to satisfy ourselves, that’s what lust is. It is selfish, it is shallow, and it is far less than what God wants for you to have in your relationships with him and with other people. When we apply cheeseburger love to God and to people, it always leads to dysfunctional relationships and a half-hearted faith. This is why it matters that we get our understanding of love right. So biblically speaking, what is love? This is the definition that I think is most accurate. It is a choice to sacrifice yourself for the good of another. Love is choosing to sacrifice yourself for the good of another person.

Now, where do we get that definition? The reason we define it that way is because this is what Jesus shows us, and it’s what the Bible tells us. In one John chapter three, verses 16 through 18, John says this. He says, «This is how we know what love is. Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And so we ought to lay down our lives, sacrifice ourselves for our brothers and sisters. If anyone has material possessions and they see a brother or sister in need, but has no pity, no compassion does nothing to help them, how can the love of God be in that person»? It’s a rhetorical question. The answer is, it cannot be. «So dear children, brothers and sisters, let us not love with empty words or speech, but with actions and in truth».

What is love? It is a choice to sacrifice yourself for the good of another. And this matters in a really big way. Love is not just what you think or how you feel. It’s what you do and how you live. That’s why Jesus says, «Go and do this,» because real love, true love, full love is always expressed in action. So continuing in the parable, we had the guy in verse 29, he said, wanting to justify himself. He asked Jesus, «So who is my neighbor»? And then Jesus goes on to tell a story. He says, «A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho». He’s traveling from one city to another. «When he is attacked by robbers. They strip him of his clothes, they beat him, and then they go away, leaving him half dead».

Verse 31, a priest, a pastor, a professional Christian, probably somebody who preaches sermons like what I’m doing now, happened to be going down the same road. And when he saw the man he passed by on the other side. When he saw the guy half dead, he walked right past him. He sacrificed the hurting man to serve himself and I’m sure he had lots of good excuses. Like, you know, maybe the guy wasn’t half dead, maybe he was all dead. And like if they’re already dead, like what are you gonna do to help 'em? Or maybe the guy’s like, «Dude, I’m a pastor. I’m not a paramedic, I’m not a doctor. And so like I can’t save the guy. So like I wouldn’t really be able to make much of a difference».

Or maybe the guy’s like, «Ah man, like maybe I could help him. But honestly like I’m in a hurry. I gotta get to the temple. I gotta do my duty and it’s super important and spiritual. And if I stop to help this guy, like not only is that gonna take a bunch of time and effort, but then I gotta go through this whole like cleansing process so that I can actually go into the temple. It would be ridiculously inconvenient and what I’m doing, it’s too important». And so he walks on by. And then the next verse, another person shows up, this time a Levite. These were the temple assistants. Think of these as like volunteers in a church. These are your Switch leaders, somebody like that. They play a role, they help the pastors do the work of ministry. The Levite came to the place, saw the guy, and he passed by on the other side.

But a Samaritan, now, those three words don’t mean a lot to us, but they would’ve meant a lot to the original people hearing this. If you’re with us last week we talked about how tax collectors in Jewish society were basically the lowest of the low and the worst of the worst, unless we start talking about Samaritans. Because if tax collectors are like the dirt at the bottom level of their culture, Samaritans are lower than dirt. And so when Jesus says those three words, «But a Samaritan,» what everybody in the crowd would’ve imagined is going to happen next is, oh snap. If the priest and the Levite walked on by and left him half dead, then the Samaritan is gonna come on by, kick him while he is down, finish the job and have a blast doing it because that’s how wretched Samaritans are. At least that’s what they thought.

But that’s not how Jesus tells this story. Jesus says, «But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was. And when he saw him, he took pity on him». If you see a brother or sister in need and have no pity on them, then how can the love of God be in you? «He went to him, bandage his wounds. He poured on oil and wine. He put the man on his own donkey. He brought him to an end. He took care of him. The next day, he took out two denarii and he gave them to the innkeeper. He says, 'Look after this guy, and when I return, I’m gonna reimburse you for any extra expense that you might have.'»

So you’ve got the priest and the Levite, the spiritual people, the religious people, the people that should have stopped to help, and instead, they sacrificed the guy to serve themselves because they’re fakers. And then all of a sudden this Samaritan comes on by and he does what nobody would have expected. He sacrifices himself to serve this hurting man. And just to like help us see it, I wanna show you, these are the seven ways this Samaritan sacrificed himself. He goes out of his way to go to him. He bandages his wounds. He pours on oil and wine. He puts him on his own donkey. That means the Samaritan is walking and this guy is riding. He brings him to an inn. He takes care of him. He pays for him to be looked after. Every single one of these acts cost the Samaritan, but it helped the hurting man. Fakers sacrifice others to serve themselves, but followers sacrifice themselves to serve others.

So we get to the end of the story and Jesus looks back at the expert in the law and he asks the question, «Which of these three, the priest, the Levite, or the Samaritan, do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers»? And then the expert in the law replies, «The one who had mercy on him». And so Jesus tells him, «Go and do likewise». Go and do what the Samaritan has done. Sacrifice yourself to serve someone else. This is what it looks like for us to faithfully follow in the footsteps of King Jesus. We refuse to sit by while other people are suffering. Instead, we choose to sacrifice ourselves to help them because that is exactly what Jesus did for you when you were dead in your sins.

Jesus didn’t walk on by, he didn’t look the other way. He left heaven. He stepped into history. He became one of us. He lived like us. He suffered with us, and he died for us so that anybody who puts their trust in him could be saved. Our salvation came at the cost of his sacrifice on the cross. So go and do likewise. When we get to our Switch groups, this is the question that I want us to answer. What sacrifice can I make this week to serve someone else? And let’s make sure that this isn’t just something that we talk about in theory, but like let it be real. Like what sacrifice are you actually willing to make to serve someone else? Who is that person? And when are you going to do it? And don’t wait until next month or next year. Do it this week. Because what we do today, the choices we make today, determine the people we become in the future.

And if what you choose to do today is to sacrifice others to serve yourself, then you are on the path to becoming a faker. But if what you choose today is to sacrifice, to serve another person, to put Jesus first, then you are on the path to becoming a fully devoted follower of Christ. And I promise you, following Jesus with all that you have is always worth it because Jesus is better than anything. And following him changes everything. So back to the beginning, Matthew chapter 16. Jesus says to his disciples, «Whoever wants to be my follower must deny themselves, take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it. But whoever loses their life for me will find it».

And so, Lord Jesus, we come before you right now and we ask that you would help us to receive the grace, the mercy, and the love that you poured out for us through your sacrifice. And that in response to all that you have done for us, we would choose to do the same for others, that we would make sacrifices to put the needs of others before our own wants, that you would use us to make a difference in the lives of people who need help. If you would help us have eyes to see those who are hurting, and you would give us the courage to meet them with your mercy, it’s in your name we pray, amen and amen.