James Meehan - The Greatest Obstacle to Loving Like Jesus

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How many of you have ever felt judged by another person? I know that I have. What was it like for you? Like, how did it feel? I imagine it felt a little bit isolating. It probably caused you to feel some level of insecurity. It maybe caused you to question things about yourself that you'd never even thought of before. Now, show of hands, different question, how many of you have ever judged someone else? I know that I have, but if it felt so bad when they did it to you, then why did you do it to them? Like, how do you think that made them feel?

I imagine it made them feel a lot of the same things that you felt, isolated, insecure, and possibly overthinking things about yourself that you never had to think about before. This is why judging can be so painful, and this is why what we're talking about today, I believe, is so important. Because whether we like it or not, most of us, if not all of us, have felt the pain of being judged by others. And whether we want to admit it or not, most of us, probably all of us, have also been guilty of judging others. And as we're gonna discover, one of the greatest obstacles to loving people like Jesus is actually judging people wrongly.

Now, I wanna make sure to say that again, so that we do not miss it. One of the greatest obstacles to loving like Jesus is judging people wrongly. Now, some of you may find this actually a little bit hard to believe, but there is a right way to judge. In fact, if we turn to John 7:24, Jesus Himself says, "Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly". And then if you go back to the Old Testament, the Book of Proverbs, the book of wisdom, Proverbs 31:9 says to "Speak up and judge fairly. Defend the rights of the poor and the needy".

So real quick, what I wanna do is outline the difference for you between correct judgment and incorrect judgment. Because not all judgment is the same. There is discernment. That is seeing something for what it really is. That's the good kind of judgment, and then there is condemnation. That is seeing someone else as less than. That's the wrong kind of judgment. And when it comes to our lives, discernment isn't just acceptable. It's actually essential. Like, following Jesus requires us to discern, to judge the difference between right and wrong, good and bad, true and false, but condemnation, that's off limits to us. So with all of that set up out of the way, we are ready for the main point of this message.

If you're taking notes, I want you to write this down. If you want to love like Jesus, you have to learn to judge like Jesus. Because when we do, when we learn to judge like Jesus judges, then we are on our way to loving like Jesus loves us, and He will help us move from hypocrisy to integrity, from pride to humility, and from condemnation to compassion. So what we're gonna do is read from Matthew 7:1-12. This is a passage that begins with the words, "Do not judge or you too will be judged," and it ends with the words, in verse 12, "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets".

Now, this is really important because these verses, verses 1 and 12, mirror each other and they serve as the bookends that hold the entire passage together, and all of the stuff that comes in between, the stuff in the middle, it serves as the roadmap to move us from judging wrongly to being able to judge like Jesus. So in verse one, Jesus says, "Do not judge or you too will be judged," and then in verse two, He says "In the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you".

Now, we can discern, based on everything else that Jesus says and does, that what He means when he says "Do not judge" is do not condemn. Because if you do, others will condemn you. Whatever way we judge, He's telling us is the way that we will be judged. So if we judge hypocritically, rudely, and arrogantly, then that's what we'll get in return. That is the bad news. But the good news is that if you learn to judge compassionately, you will receive compassion. If you judge rightly and truthfully, then that is how you also will be judged. So how do we learn to judge rightly? That's what Jesus is going to tell us next.

We're jumping back into verse three, where Jesus says "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye' when all the time there's a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite. First, take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. Do not give dogs what is sacred. Do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces".

So there's a whole lot in that passage of scripture. But if we're just gonna summarize the big idea, then I think what Jesus wants us to know is that the first step to learning to judge like Him is to see others with eyes of compassion, not condemnation. It is to see others with eyes of compassion, not condemnation. You see, all of us as human beings, we fall short. We mess up. We get things wrong. So if you wanna spend your life calling out all the ways other people don't measure up, you will have so many opportunities to do so. But when you do, guess what's gonna happen. They're gonna dish it right back, and it's not gonna be hard for them to do because while they may have a speck in their eye, according to Jesus, you've got a plank in yours.

So before you point your finger at them and call out all the things they've done wrong, maybe you should look in the mirror and get to work on yourself. Then, you will be able to lead with compassion, not condemnation. So when that famous person who drives you crazy says or does something stupid, instead of bashing them online, maybe you'll start to pray for God to bless them, or when your friend says something offensive, you can choose to believe the best, to give them a second chance, instead of simply cutting them out of your life. Or when that person in your school flunks the class or gets held back, instead of talking about how dumb they are, you can ask if you can help them study to get back on track.

You see, compassion is love in action, and it requires humility, but condemnation, it brings harm, and is rooted in pride. This is why it matters that we see ourselves and others the same way that Jesus does, as valuable, as loved, as full of potential, even though that they and you are flawed. In verse seven, Jesus goes on to say, "Ask and it will be given to you. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened".

Step two, for judging like Jesus is to request the change that you want. Don't demand it. Request the change that you want. Don't demand it. You see, when someone really does do something wrong, or more specifically, they do something to wrong you, what should you do? You should ask, seek, and knock. Ask them to change. Seek a better solution. Knock on their door so they have a chance to respond. That's what Jesus would do. But what most of us actually do is we say nothing and get bitter, or we talk about the person behind their back, and how they drive us crazy without ever actually talking to them, or maybe we do actually say something to them, but we do it harshly, full of anger, and we demand that they change, and we just make it worse.

Whatever your natural inclination may be, whether it's to shut down, to gossip, or to lash out, Jesus is raising the bar. He wants you to ask them humbly and boldly, to let them know as kindly as you can that what they did is not okay, and as clearly as you can, how you would like them to change, to avoid this problem in the future. And if you figure out how to do this now, asking for what you want with eyes of compassion, I'm telling you, this will resolve like 90% of all the conflicts you'll experience in your life. But sadly, sometimes even this isn't enough. But thankfully, Jesus offers us wisdom when that's the case.

In the next few verses, starting in verse nine, Jesus tells us, "Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him"?

Step three for learning to judge like Jesus is to lean on God's strength, not your own. To lean on God's strength, and not your own. You see, God is a good and loving Father who wants what's best for His kids. That means He wants what's best for you. He's a holy and righteous king who has the power to do the impossible. So lean on His strength, not your own. Ask Him to show up and move in the life of that person, to change their heart, and help them change their ways, and ask Him to help you see that person with eyes of compassion.

You see, this whole process is meant to be wrapped in prayer every step of the way. Pray for God's help because He loves you and He wants to be there for you. When you first notice a problem, a speck in the other person's eye, let God reveal your plank, and help you remove it. When you're tempted to view yourself as better and them as less, when you're tempted to view them as dogs or pigs, invite God to remind you that they are just as human as you are. When the time comes to have a conversation, call on God to give you the courage to clearly, kindly, and humbly request for what you want to be different, even when it's scary, and pray that God will work through that conversation, to help the other person, and to help you become more like Jesus.

Because as Jesus tells us in verse 12, "In everything, we are to do to others what we would have them do to us. This sums up the Law and the Prophets". That means the whole Old Testament is summarized in that golden rule, do to others what you would have them do to you. Learning to judge like Jesus is a big part of what it takes to learn to love like Jesus. So when we choose to see with eyes of compassion, when we ask for what we want to see, when we lean on God's strength, He will help us move from condemnation to compassion, from hypocrisy to integrity, and from pride to humility. So if you want to love like Jesus, you have to learn to judge like Jesus. Jesus being our king means that we go where He goes, we do what He does, we trust what He says, and we love how He loves.