James Meehan - How Should Christians Think About Dating?
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Bo Brown: Welcome to this week's Culture Makers. We're talking dating advice. We are talking prom. We are talking NFL draft and we are talking so, so much more. Are you ready to be here?
Ariana Lane: I am so excited to be here. This is Beau. Beau, you haven't been to Culture Makers before right?
Bo Brown: No, this is my first time here at Culture Makers. I'm filling in for the one and only Vince Parker. And it's an honor. It really is an honor.
Ariana Lane: Yeah. And I'm Ariana, if you guys don't remember me but I've loved being on a couple of times, I'm ready to go.
Bo Brown: Well, we're gonna have some fun today. It's gonna be a lot of fun and I hope you are also gonna be having some fun. Make sure that you like, you subscribe, you put in the comments all the questions that you have. You engage with us because the reality is is we're gonna engage with you. Being answering some questions today. And so let's jump into today's topics.
Ariana Lane: Let's go.
Bo Brown: Like we got some good ones, some heavy letters. Like, this is, it's gonna be good.
Ariana Lane: I'm excited, I'm excited.
Bo Brown: So first things first, okay? Let's talk dating advice.
Ariana Lane: What sort of dating advice do you have for our people who are watching today?
Bo Brown: That is such a great question. I think that, especially in middle school, high school you know, dating is just all around you. Like all your friends are doing it, everybody's talking about it and everybody's dating someone. It seems like. So I think for me, the biggest dating advice would just to get to know yourself and get to know the other person. It's easy to get swept up in the excitement. It seems normal. Everyone else is doing it but really make sure that you're ready for that step. Because getting to know somebody like that is a new thing. It's a huge step in your life. And just make sure you have those relationships around you that are kind of asking you the right questions when you start dating. So that would be my advice. What do you think?
Ariana Lane: Absolutely. Yeah. I think that's great advice right there a 100% And I would just also just think about why are you dating? Like, what is the question? Like, what are you trying get to? Are you wanting to grow closer? Are you wanting to be able to be like you can fit in? Are you wanting to feel, I guess the normal thing? So you feel like you have to do it. Like you have to be able to ask yourself the why, so that you can be able to understand like, okay is this a good why? Like, is this gonna help me? Is this going to end up hurting me? Or when is the right time? Dating advice, make sure that you are engaging in the comments, asking us more questions about dating and going along with dating and what's happening in the world for so many of our students is prom, prom days.
— Oh my gosh, I love prom. I don't know why. I just love dressing up and getting fancy for prom. Like that was so fun. We had prom in the Cowboys stadium.
Bo Brown: Like Dallas, Cowboys?
Ariana Lane: Yeah.
Bo Brown: Oh my gosh, that's awesome.
Ariana Lane: Yeah, there was sushi there. I don't even like sushi but it was really cool, but it was there.
Bo Brown: Yeah, my gosh. Mine was at like the state fairgrounds and like a metal building.
Ariana Lane: Well, that's still cool. Did you dress up? Cool.
Bo Brown: I did, I wore my best tuxedo T-shirt. No, I'm just kidding. I actually wore full suit. Yeah, it was nice. State fairgrounds, smelled like horse manure. I mean, it was
Ariana Lane: I wanna see like pictures of our student's proms.
Bo Brown: Yeah.
Ariana Lane: Like I want to see their dresses. Maybe they had like a cool suit.
Bo Brown: Yeah.
Ariana Lane: So tag us.
Bo Brown: Yes.
Ariana Lane: I wanna see it on Instagram.
Bo Brown: Tag @lcswitch. Speaking of suits, and this is going to be an impeccable transition. Are you ready for this?
Ariana Lane: Okay.
Bo Brown: Speaking of suits, NFL draft is an incredible time where some of the best suits in the world are showcased and are showed to the world. And people will get excited about, not only obviously the draft picks but also the suits, the fashion, the glam.
Ariana Lane: Okay, I don't even know that. I'm gonna be honest. I don't really follow football or a certain team but when I was at the gym this weekend, I was like looking at all the TVs. I spot the NFL draft on the TV. I'm just running, you know, do my thing. I see a clip of a football player like making it. You know, lifelong dream coming true. His mom's like hugging him. And I just started straight up crying on the treadmill.
— Wow, wow it wasn't sweat, it was real tears.
— No, it was not, so I was just like crying, I was like, oh my gosh he made it. I was just like really into it, in that moment. But to be honest, that's the extent of my knowledge about the NFL drafts.
— Yeah? Yeah well, hey that's some great knowledge though. I mean, you felt it like you were in the moment with them. You know, so many of us, you know, we sit back and we're like, all right, pick number 21, you know? Yeah. That's cool, that's cool. But speaking of actually pick number 21, His name was Kwity, he just got drafted from the University of Michigan to the Indianapolis Colts and he came out and he said, you know what? Like my mom will never work another day.
— Oh , I love that.
— And it's just so cool to see, like, I get, like you said, those dreams coming true.
— Yes.
— You know? I think deep down we all want to see people's dreams come true.
— Yes. And just thinking about the hard work and determination that it took to get to that point for all of them is just really cool to think about
— Blood, sweat, and tears. You know, it's real stuff.
— All day.
— All day. If you do not know, Switch is the youth ministry of Life Church. And what's great is we actually have many people who have gone on to pro football who have attended our church. And so it's been pretty cool. I mean, even like Jalen Hurts, who's the quarterback of the Philadelphia Eagles. Carson Wentz did a message for us just about a year and a half ago. You can go back on Switch Youth and watch that. And even my favorite team, Oklahoma State Cowboys, one of their wide receivers just signed Dillon Stoner Life Church Stillwater, like he was engaged there. And so it's so cool to see like our own,
— Oh my gosh. Yeah living their dreams out.
— I didn't know that. We're both Cowboys fans so,
— Right, that's right.
— Yeah, I got to keep up with that.
— Yeah. If you don't know what Oklahoma State University is it is America's brightest orange. Go ahead and look it up. Admissions are open right now.
— Oh okay. I don't know if they really are, but we're gonna say it is. And so, what I love about like even the people in our church who have gone off to live their dreams and to go on, whether it's pro football, whether it's to be an accountant, whether it's to do anything in the world is there had to be steps and growth that happened along the way. Right?
— For sure.
— Every single day there had to be growth that happened. And the most important area we can grow in is our faith. And so I know some of you guys have asked questions about growing in your faith. And so we wanted to bring it up to you and being asking and looking at ways that we can continue to grow in our faith.
— Yeah. I think for me growing in my faith over time we all go through different seasons, you know? Where sometimes it feels like we're learning so much about God's word or we really feel like in prayer, God is speaking to us. And then in other seasons, it doesn't really feel like that. You're kind of like, Hey God, where are You? What am I supposed to be learning? And I think both of those seasons have a purpose and a why. And I think for me, just being consistent even in the seasons where it feels like God really isn't saying a lot or I don't feel like I'm reading anything that's jumping out to me, you know, being faithful and keeping in mind how faithful God has been to me through every season. I just want to return that back to Him and be constantly asking Him and telling Him what's on my heart and just learning God's Word and hiding that in my heart. So I think consistency is key in growing your faith.
— That's good, yeah.
— What about, what do you think?
— Yeah. Well, I mean, that's money right there. I mean, just every single day, just taking a step. You know, there's gonna be days where you take a giant leap forward and there's gonna be days where you feel like you've barely moved an inch, you know. But consistency and showing up every single day and saying, God I'm here for you is so, so important. And I think just another thing is just to look back at life and our Senior Pastor Craig Groeschel, he talks about that, we are rear view optimists. So imagine driving your car and you have the rear view mirror up there you're looking up there and you're looking back on all that God has done for you, how He showed up, how He's moved in your life how He's continued to show His love to you. And in the moment, in the day-to-day like, it's hard to see sometimes. We don't feel like God is always there but if we live a life as a rear view optimist mentality, I believe we'll be able to see how God showed up over and over and over again. And we'll be able to grow in our faith because of how God has been good to us.
— That's so good.
— Speaking of good.
— Okay.
— We have some great students who have been asking some impeccable questions. I mean, stellar, I mean rad.
— They're a really nice level.
— I mean, the coolest of cool.
— Yeah.
— I'm running out of adjectives. And so we wanted to answer some of your guys' questions. And so Daniel Miller, man, Daniel, you are, you're amazing. You are a culture maker. If you do not know that, you're continuing to ask questions and grow in your faith and so thank you. The question that Daniel asked for us is, what do we do when we know that what we are doing is something wrong but we still do it, then after doing it, how should we react or feel?
— That is a really good question. I think so many things are popping up into my mind. We've all had moments where we're like, why why did I do that? Why did I make that choice? That was not wise or just something where we made a mistake, honestly. And I think the first thing is just telling that to someone that you trust, that is a brother or sister in Christ, someone in your Switch group your Switch group leader, maybe your parents. Somebody who would be able to encourage you in those moments where you're like, man, I just messed up. And I think another thing is prayer. If I'm being honest with myself, sometimes when I mess up, I don't pray immediately. And I can tell you that every time that I do turn to God and pray, when I make a mistake, it brings me peace. Our Heavenly Father wants us to go to Him with where we are falling short and where we've messed up because He wants the best for us. And so I think accepting that grace that He gives to us when we make mistakes and just get back on the right path. You know, use the next day as a chance to correct that mistake or walk back in the light where He wants us to be.
— Absolutely. I love that. And I think also something that I'm learning still to this day is just like, take some pressure off yourself. Like just take that, that load off of you. That performance mentality almost of like you have to do everything right, every single day just the way that you think you should do it. Because I think so often, like that pressure can get to us. It can be like crushing.
— It can feel like so much.
— Oh, yeah.
— And honestly it feels like, okay, well this is so crushing, I don't even know if this is right or if this is the correct thing to be doing. And if we take pressure off ourselves and we live in the grace that God has given us, and what we can do is that we live in freedom because God gives us freedom. There's no condemnation for us. And so I believe take some pressure off and continue to walk with God and you'll see Him keep on moving whether we do the right thing or the wrong thing. So it's a really, really cool.
— Yeah, that's some good news.
— The second part of his question, actually, he says and honestly can anyone of you play the guitar that's in the background I asked from last time?
— I'm going to be honest, no. I can not play the guitar. I've always wanted to learn how, but no.
— No It's just for looks. Now you give me a ukulele, like
— I didn't know that about you. "Somewhere under the... Over the rainbow. Beside the rainbow".
— Something about a rainbow. Alita, another one of our students has asked the question.
— Okay. Great question. She asks, I have two friends that really see God in Jesus differently from Christians like a bit in a negative perspective. How should I react to those without starting an argument?
— If you haven't seen last week's Culture Makers. I think that they talked about disagreeing with different Christians and that's a great place to start. But I think when thinking of that situation, I think it's important too, to realize that the way that you live out your faith and walk in your relationship with Christ is a great example. I think there's a lot of different little things that we could have the opportunity to disagree on different perspectives. We bring that personal perspective into how we live out our faith. But I think loving your friend where she's at, even in those areas where she doesn't think the same way as you, you have the opportunity to maybe even go to God's Word together and ask those questions together. Questions are not a bad thing. We can have those differences and take them to God. And there's always something in Scripture that is going to be there, that we can unpack together.
— Yeah, absolutely. We all have different upbringings. We all have different experiences. We all see things through a different lens but I think what's great is when you can sit down and honestly care about the other person, not having an agenda but just ask, why do you think this? Like what, help me understand how you got to that place and I'll help you understand how I got to my place and let's, let's have a conversation about it.
— Yeah.
— Let's just see how we can come alongside each other and support each other in growing in our faith and being more like Christ.
— Yeah, and if you don't know the answers to the questions, you and your friend, there's always somebody at Switch or a parent or somebody around you that can help you guys get to the bottom of that question.
— Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And as you do that, you are shaping culture. You are making culture, and that's what we do here every single week at Culture Makers. And I hope you enjoyed today's episode. You can go ahead once again, like, comment, share, drop in your questions, engage with us that way. Follow us on Instagram @lcswitch. And we can't wait to continue to grow in our faith with you, continue to impact culture and make a difference in this world together.
— Yeah, see you guys later.
— See you guys.