Greg Laurie - Needed: Superheroes (01/20/2018)
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Pastor Greg Laurie honors fathers as real-life superheroes who stay committed, lead their families biblically, and raise children to know God. Drawing from Ephesians 6:4, he urges dads not to provoke children to anger but to nurture them in the Lord's training and admonition, creating a thirst for God while setting godly boundaries and being consistent examples of faith.
Needed Superheroes: The Role of Fathers
Well let's grab our Bibles and turn to Ephesians chapter 6. We are in our series that we are calling Happily Even After. And as it turns out we are talking about parenting today. And I am going to zero in on fathers in particular. And the title of my message is Needed Superheroes.
There is a lot of superhero films that have come out in the last few years. Spider-Man, Batman, Iron Man, Thor. The list goes on. But this weekend is the release of the highly anticipated new Superman film called Man of Steel. And of course we all remember Superman growing up. He has been around for a long time. And if you really want to compare superheroes, pretty much Superman trumps everybody, right? I mean this guy can fly. This guy has fire that comes out of his eyes. I mean he is pretty much at the top of the heap in the superhero world.
You remember that old TV show as they would introduce him? Faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Up in the sky. It is a bird. It is a plane. It is a Superman. That is right.
Well the problem with Superman is he is fiction. He is a comic book character. But I want to talk to you about a different kind of Superman today. He is often simply called Dad. Dad. Now I am not just talking about biological fathers. We have a lot of them. We also have many of them unfortunately that walk away from their wives and from their children. No I am talking about a dad that stays married to his wife. A dad that raises his children to follow God and be responsible. A dad that is a godly role model and a leader in the home. To me that God is a Superman. It really is.
And the good news is you don't have to wear blue tights and your underwear on the outside. Though some of you do that anyway. But that is another message for another day. But no. Seriously. What once was the norm. It was expected that men did their part. Men were there for the wives. Men were there for the children. Man that has become the exception today.
We all know the facts in our country right now. And I think that you could trace almost every social ill in America today to the breakdown of the family and specifically to the absence of masculine leadership.
The Crisis of Fatherlessness
There are a lot of stats to confirm that. At the beginning of the 21st century American men are choosing to disconnect from family life on a massive scale. I might add at far higher rates in other industrialized countries one expert said we are in danger of becoming a fatherless society.
Listen to this. In 1960 fewer than 6 million children lived in single parent families. Today that number is 22 million. 27% of children under the age of 21.
Now consider these alarming statistics. Fatherless children are anywhere from 100 to 200% more likely to have emotional and behavioral problems. A child that comes from a fatherless home is 68% more likely to use drugs or alcohol, far more likely to become sexually active at an early age, and three times more likely to commit a violent crime.
63% of teenagers who attempt suicide come from fatherless homes. 71% of high school dropouts are from fatherless homes. 90% of all homeless and runaway children again from fatherless homes. 80% of all youth sitting in prison today grew up in a fatherless home.
Listen to this. Fatherless sons are 300% more likely to become incarcerated in state juvenile institutions. Fatherless daughters who marry have a 92% higher divorce rate. And fatherless sons are 35% more likely to experience marital failure. Fatherless daughters are 53% more likely to marry as teenagers. Fatherless daughters are 111% more likely to have children as teenagers. And they are 164% more likely to have an out-of-wedlock birth.
80% of teenagers admitted to psychiatric hospitals come from fatherless homes. And I could just go on and on. Almost everything can be traced to the breakdown of the family.
That is why we are taking the time to talk about what the Bible says about the family. When I say the family I don't mean the traditional family. I am talking about a biblical family that does it God's ways. And to make that happen there needs to be a man that stands by his commitment.
My friend James Merritt said, and I quote, the most endangered species in America is not the spotted owl or the snail darter, but responsible fathers. End quote. And that is true.
You see why I call them superheroes. And listen dads I want you to know something. I am not here to beat you up today. I am here to build you up. I am here to thank you because of all that you do.
You know Mother's Day is traditionally a very high attendance day for church. Did you know that next to Christmas and Easter Mother's Day is third for church attendance. I am sorry to say that Father's Day is not even in the top ten days of church attendance. Which says a lot unfortunately.
But my point is that you guys are here today as a father. And that says a lot about you. So God bless you.
Father Figures Matter—Even in the Animal Kingdom
Now the issue of fatherlessness is not only a problem in the human race but even in the animal kingdom. I read an interesting story from James Merritt's book Being Fathers in a Fatherless World. And he talked about Kruger National Park which has the largest wildlife preserve in South Africa. Or is the largest wildlife preserve.
Thirty years ago the elephant population was growing so rapidly that they felt they had to kill off some of the elephants. And they did that. And then they relocated some of the younger elephants. And these young bulls were resettled in Pillensburg National Park.
All seemed well for a time. And then a serious problem began to develop. There was an unexplained slaughter of rhinos taking place at Pillensburg National Park. Now they thought immediately it would be poachers because there are people that specifically go after the rhino and they kill it to get his horn.
But after they did some surveillance it was discovered it was not poachers at all. Actually it was young bull elephants that had actually developed into gangs replete with leaders. Gangs of rogue bull elephants that were attacking rhinos and goring them with their tusks. They were even wearing black leather jackets. They were all tatted up. They were out of control. I made that part up.
But so the young bull elephants are killing the rhinos. So they don't know how to solve this problem. If someone has an idea what if we brought in some older mature male elephants so it would be like it was normally as it is supposed to be.
So they had a project they put together. It was sort of a foster father big brother project. They brought in these older more mature male elephants. Within weeks discipline was restored and the younger elephants bonded with the older ones imitating and accepting or exhibiting more acceptable behavior. And there were no more reports of rhinos being killed.
So how could this help us in our culture today? I think we need large male elephants roaming our streets. How many agree? No. You agree. Okay. Well actually one expert concluded with this statement. Even in the animal world the presence of father figures is essential to civil behavior, discipline, and relational decorum with others. End quote.
So this is a principle that God has set into motion. And in many ways in America we have engaged in a social experiment that is not going well at all.
Children: A Gift and a Responsibility
Let me just say if you have been blessed to be a father it is truly a privilege. Psalm 127:3 says, Children are a heritage from the Lord. Children are a reward from Him. They are like arrows in the hands of a warrior. Sons in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.
Now this word that is used here for heritage can also be translated gift. Our children are a gift. We don't own them. We don't possess them. They are not ours so much to mold as much as they are given to us to unfold to help discover who God has called them to be. Not to keep but to nurture.
And you know it takes time to raise children. And sometimes we will think they know a lot more about it than they do because they are just starting out. I have had people say to me, you know our children all love the Lord and they have never rebelled against Christ in any way. Well how old are your kids? They are five and six. You don't even know what you are talking about. Wait until you have gone through the turbulent waters of the teen years. And then come back and talk to me. We will see how you fare.
And by the way the problem is with teens. That is not unique to our time. Even Mark Twain wrote years ago, quote, Things run pretty smoothly until your kid reaches thirteen. That is the time you need to stick them in a barrel. Hammer the lid down nice and snug and feed them through the knothole. Okay. And then he concludes, when they turn sixteen plug up the knothole.
Well by and large our culture ignores biblical values. In fact it openly attacks the values of a father and a mother together raising children. But every now and then someone will see the light.
I read an article in a major secular magazine about the problems of fathers not being present. And this article says, and I quote, Fathers on TV come in two principal varieties. Mr. Mom and Fat Pig. Their words. Not mine. The most popular shows of the last thirty years have been about family, this article says. And they have all had a failed dad at the center. The Mr. Mom type was defined by the defeated, awkward, confounded, Raymond on the ironically titled Everyone Loves Raymond. The Loser Dad was central to a program called Blank My Dad Says. And it remains a staple figure today on shows like Guys With Kids. End quote.
Now I haven't watched any of these shows. So I don't understand. I mean I get their point. But I haven't seen the shows myself. But here is what I love. You know you have this attack against the family. The attack against the father. Every other variation in the place of a biblical family. But then along comes a show on television that breaks all the rules and is a rousing success. It is called Duck Dynasty.
Have you seen that show? How many of you have seen Duck Dynasty? Raise your hand. How many of you have not seen it? Okay. Here is the premise of Duck Dynasty. It is a story of the Robertson family that own a duck calling business in Louisiana. They have a patriarchal figure, Phil Robertson. A matriarchal figure, they call her Miss Kay. They have their sons who have married. And then they have their grandchildren. And they love to go hunting and fishing. And they are really a bunch of rednecks is what they are. And they are proud to be rednecks. And they have long scraggly beards and long hair, most of them at least.
But then as you watch this show you begin to discover this show actually has family values and even more biblical values in it. Every show ends with the Robertson family gathered around the table over a meal and praying and thanking God in Jesus' name. And this show is taken off. In fact it is the number one non-fictional TV series on cable. It beat out American Idol and Survivor in the coveted 18-49 demographic.
So here is my point. What amazes me about this show is it is popular among young people. Isn't that interesting? It is sort of like the new father knows best. Except father has a long scraggly beard. Likes to hunt squirrels and eat them. But apart from that it is a show that has values that are admirable.
I think young people today, so many of them raised in fatherless homes, really long for family. They long for that stability.
You probably all heard about the suicide attempt of Paris Jackson, the daughter of Michael Jackson. I mean this girl. My heart goes out to her. She has lived a very different life along with her two siblings and then to have her father die in 2009. So she tried to take her life. She tweeted one day before her suicide attempt, a lyric from The Beatles, Yesterday. All my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they are here to stay.
And so when I read the story of Paris Jackson trying to take her life I wrote a little blog post and sent out a tweet. And it was picked up by a couple of news services and put out there to more people. And here is what I said. I pray that Paris Jackson will hear the good news that Jesus loves her. And I pray that whatever pain she is facing she would know that though her earthly father is gone she is a father in heaven who wants to give her life meaning and purpose.
Then to Paris I said, don't take your life but rather dedicate your life to Jesus Christ and if you do that you will find the happiness you desire and you will also have the hope of heaven. I hope she read that. Because I understand what kids are going through who come from fatherless homes. Because I came from a fatherless home.
In fact I was conceived out of wedlock. I was not planned. I was meant to be. I was not planned by my mom or the guy she was involved with. In fact my mom lied to me for years about who my actual biological father was. I later found him with Alzheimer's in an advanced stage which was very disheartening to have him not remember my mom or me. But I grew up without a dad. I grew up without a father figure.
My mom was married and divorced to seven different guys. And well I should say one of them was the exception to the rule. All of them were these kind of boozy lounge lizard smoking type dudes. You know what I am saying? Not admirable figures. And then my mom married one guy that was different from all the rest. He didn't drink. He didn't smoke. And he was a good man. And ironically he was also an attorney. That is a joke. Ironically. His name was Oscar Felix Lorry. What a name. Oscar Felix Lorry.
I only spent a short time with him. He lived in New Jersey. So I was originally a Jersey boy for a while. Though born in California. One Jersey person. Hey! Yo Adrian! Well that is Philly more. That is more Philly. But he actually treated me as a father should treat his son. And he was a good father figure for me. And he adopted me as well. And that is where I got my name Oscar. No. Lori.
But as I look at these kids and I know what I have gone through. It sort of has enlarged my heart for them. That is one of the reasons we do crusades. That is one of the reasons we continue to try to connect to the changing culture. Because we want them to know that they have a father in heaven who loves them and can change the course of their life. He did it for me. And he can do it for them as well.
How Our View of Fathers Changes Over Time
But you know we don't always appreciate our fathers. When we are young we do. But as we get older we begin to view our fathers differently. I read a clipping from a Dutch magazine a number of years ago. I read many Dutch magazines. No. Someone sent this on to me.
Here is how a child views their father at various stages of life. At four years old the child says, My daddy can do anything. At seven years old he says, My daddy knows a lot. A whole lot. At eight years he says, Well my daddy doesn't know everything. At twelve years he says, Well naturally dad doesn't know that either. At fourteen years he says, Dad is so old school he just doesn't get it. At twenty-one years he says, Dad is so lame. At twenty-five years he says, Well dad knows a little bit about that but not too much. At thirty years he says, Let's find out what dad thinks about that. At thirty-five years he says, Before we decide let's get dad's idea first. At fifty years he says, What would dad have thought about that? At sixty years he says, my dad knew literally everything.
See how things change? I think that you have to be a parent before you can fully understand what it means that your parents did for you. It was D.L. Moody, the great evangelist, that pointed out that you really can't determine how good of a parent you were until you yourself have grandchildren.
Well if that is a test for parenting then I think I am thankful to God because both of my sons, not sins, sons. Sometimes my sons commit sins but they are sons. Both of them were and are great fathers.
Biblical Instruction for Fathers
Well let us see what the Bible says to fathers today. Ephesians 6:4. "You fathers do not provoke your children to wrath but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord."
Ephesians 6:4. I want you to notice that those words are directed toward fathers. Men I don't want to put too much pressure on you. But I want to just say that I think husbands hold the key to a flourishing marriage. I have already pointed that out as we have talked about the role of husbands because we are to love our wives as Christ loves the church.
Men are the initiators. And I think husbands in many ways hold the key to a successful family. It is not that mothers don't play an important role. They obviously do. I find it interesting these words are specifically directed toward men. Maybe that is because it is assumed mothers usually do their part. Mothers occasionally walk out in families. But fathers often do. Far too often.
So we know that mothers are more nurturing and more affirming. But fathers often fail in this regard. So Paul specifically says to fathers, Fathers do not provoke your children to wrath. But bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
What does that mean? The word provoke means to anger them. And it suggests a repeated pattern of treatment that causes the child to have anger and resentment that boils over to outright hostility.
Now how would we provoke our children to anger? Number one, by showing favoritism. Guess what? Kids aren't stupid. Even really young children. And they know when you have a favorite. You think you hide it well. You don't hide it as well as you think. And when you compare children one with another it hurts them.
When you say to your child, Why can't you be smarter like your sister or more athletic like your brother? Why can't you do what they do? No. Don't show favoritism to children.
You know. For a while I only had one granddaughter, Stella. So I loved to go out and buy things for her. And now I have four granddaughters. And whenever I get something my wife says, You have to get four of them. You can't just get one. Get four of them. Or the others will feel left out.
So on another day when I would have bought this doll or whatever it is I am buying. Now I times it times four and I go, Maybe I will get something smaller. You know. But we see this pattern in Scripture.
One of the best illustrations is the story of Jacob and Esau. They were two brothers that were at odds with each other. How did that come about? Well that is because Isaac favored Esau and Rebekah favored Jacob. So one parent favored one. The other parent favored another. That developed a rivalry between the boys.
Now you would have thought that Jacob, who was not favored by his father, would have gotten that memo and thus been a very fair dad to his sons. But he himself favored Joseph over his other sons. This resulted in major sibling rivalry. And the boys even sold their brother Joseph to slave traders.
You know you have a problem with sibling rivalry when your boys come home and they sold one of your sons. But that is because of the favoritism of the parent.
The same is true in the home of David. David the first king of Israel. The Lord told the prophet Samuel to go to the town of Bethlehem because there he was going to find the next king of Israel because the Lord had rejected the present king Saul.
And the Lord told Samuel, you are going to find that king in the house of Jesse. So Jesse is called before the prophet and he brings out his seven sons strapping good looking young men. The magnificent seven. There they were. And the prophet is looking at each one. And the Lord is saying to him, that is not the one. That is not the one. That is not the one.
The prophet is saying, hey do you have any more sons? And Jesse says, well yeah. He is out in the field. He is a little weird. He likes to like play his guitar and sing songs about God. David. He is my youngest. And actually the phrase that Jesse used to describe David is being the youngest is not one that just means youngest in years but it means the least. In effect he said, he is the least.
So much so he didn't even call him in to appear before the prophet along with his other brothers. So David is summoned. He comes bounding in from the field. And the Lord says, that is my boy. And David went on to be the greatest king in the history of Israel.
But yet he carried this pain through his life. He himself wrote, when my father and mother forsake me the Lord will take me up. Listen. Children will carry this pain of having one child or sibling favored over them throughout their lives.
Another way we can provoke our children is by never complimenting them. You know when I grew up I was never affirmed. There were no attaboys. There was no I love you. There were no hugs in my home. And so when I became a parent I overcompensated for sure.
You know I wanted Christopher to know how much I loved him. And quite honestly I overdid everything. We would just go to toy stores for no reason. It wasn't a birthday. It wasn't Christmas. And I would buy him a big giant toy just because I wanted him to have a great childhood. And we would come into the house and my wife would look and just roll her eyes. Like what is wrong with you.
I sort of agree with the statement of Dr. James Dobson when he said, we all owe our first child an apology. Right. We all made some mistakes with our first child. I know that I did for sure.
But you know you want to show the child you love them. And it is a good thing to affirm them. But maybe in some ways in our culture today we have swung too far. Maybe there was a culture where children were not affirmed enough. And maybe today we have a culture where they are over affirmed.
I read an article in the South Florida Sun Sentinel that had the headline, When praising children goes too far. A quote from it says, Parents used to worry about spoiling their kids so they criticized lavishly and withheld praise. But now they worry about self esteem so they withhold criticism and praise lavishly. And this has gone on to produce a culture of super narcissistic kids as I mentioned last time as we looked at marriage.
So find the balance of affirming and complimenting and not being overly critical. There is a place for discipline obviously. And I am going to deal with that in my next message as we talk a little bit more about parenting.
Bringing Children Up in the Lord
So that is the negative. Don't provoke them to wrath. Now the positive. Look at the verse again. Bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Bring them up. That means to nourish or feed. Another translation says, Let them be kindly cherished.
We are to be tender in bringing up our kids. It doesn't say knock them down. It says bring them up. That is hands on. That is involvement in your child's life. Because many kids are left to themselves today. They have parents that are not present. And the Bible says in Proverbs 29:15, A child left to himself bring shame to his mother.
You know we have an epidemic today of children being left alone. They call them latchkey kids. According to one U.S. census one third of all school age children in the United States are for some part of the week latchkey kids. That is they go home to an empty house or apartment and the total number may be between 5 and 7 million children between the ages of 5 and 13.
So they go home to an empty house. So who is influencing these kids? In many cases their peers are training them more than their parents. Or the public school system. God forbid. Or media, TV, the Internet.
That is why parents are given a charge from God Himself to bring them up. And the training in admonition of the Lord. You have to be hands on with these kids. You cannot just let them go and just do their own thing. You have to be a part of their lives.
You train them in being responsible young men and women. It starts with manners. I always taught my sons to be respectful. Especially when meeting an adult. I see disrespectful kids. That is a result of bad parenting in my opinion.
You have to teach your son or your daughter to show respect. I say when you meet somebody you shake their hand. You look them in the eye. You are respectful toward them. We have tried to teach them proper etiquette. I have left that more up to my wife. I am not the best person to teach etiquette.
In fact I can illustrate that right now for you. Because my wife has a website called Virtue. You girls if you don't know about it a giant screen is coming down. Oh it must be a video. My wife has a website called Virtue. And if you girls don't know about it it is specifically designed for all the Christian girls out there. It is a great site. It has everything from teaching to little videos on cooking and other things.
Well they were shooting a video on etiquette. Teaching etiquette to little girls. So they used my granddaughters. You will see three of my four granddaughters in this video. Riley, Stella, and Lucy. And then I happened to show up. This all happened at a friend's house. So I sort of crashed the party. Sat down and created chaos. So look at the video.
Not only do we want to be ladies of virtue, we want to raise little ladies of virtue. And I have Riley, and Stella, and Lucy with me today. And we are going to do our table manners. Oh, do we have a guest here today? Who is here? And he's already eating. That's my papa. Uh oh. Well, I got hungry because you're talking so long.
Rule number one is you never begin eating until everyone is seated at the table. Look at papa. He's got a mess on his plate. And what you need to start with first is your napkins. So can everyone hold your napkin up? And then you do this. He's out of control. Is he getting out of here? That's what you do. No, papa, you do this. You don't do this, and you don't do this. But you just, just like this, and then put it on your lap.
Is it okay to eat another cupcake yet? Patience is definitely a virtue. Oh, I guess I'll have to eat it now. Now he's going to have to eat it. Oh, my goodness. Crazy papa. With manners and etiquette, we always want to be polite and complimentary. When you like something at the table, you can always tell the cook, Thank you so much, this is very good.
What do you do if you don't like it? If you have nothing nice to say, you don't say anything at all. What if it makes you sick to your stomach? Because I've actually had this happen. I ate the food, and it wasn't good. And I was so sick, I didn't even want to swallow it. So, you do this. This is a trick. If you take the bite, and you're sick, you go like this, you go... No. You don't? Doesn't it sound really Papa? Ew, yuck!
What school did he go to? He went to military school. Don't listen to Papa. Don't, Papa! Well, what if you don't want to swallow it because it makes you sick? Well, then you have to say, may I please be excused? You've taken the bite, you're feeling sick to your stomach. And you shouldn't, you shouldn't talk with your mouth full, Papa. And you shouldn't talk with your mouth full.
You would still have to say, may I be excused? But I've already swallowed it, so now I'm going to probably be sick in the bathroom. T-M-I. Too much information. Somebody needs a time out. After you swallowed it, and the food isn't good, and the person who made it said, how did you like the meal, and it was bad, what do you say?
Well, this is a good... I would say something like this. And with manners and etiquette, we always want to think before we speak. Wow, I've never really had anything like that before. That's a very good answer. Isn't that nice? That's called diplomacy. Let's give Papa applause for that. That was very nice. Diplomacy. Right.
Now for a recap of what we've learned. So we want to always remember our please and our thank you. May I be excused. And we will continue to work on our etiquette and manners and become ladies and little ladies of virtue. I'm going to have to excuse myself. Thank you very much. So you can continue on. Bye.
So you don't want me teaching your children etiquette, right? So what are we to do? We are to bring our children up. We are not to tear them down. Why do we need to bring them up? Because they have a sinful nature that is already bringing them down.
David said, In sin did my mother conceive me. You know, you never have to teach a child how to sin. It just comes naturally like it came to you. Listen to this. We are not sinners because we sin. We sin because we are sinners. It comes naturally and it comes easily.
So we need to lead the children in the right direction. But consider this. Nothing can really happen through us until it is first happened to us. Let me repeat that. Nothing can happen through us until it is first happened to us.
Paul in Philippians 4:9 says, The things that you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things and the God of peace will be with you. You have seen it in me.
Now listen to this. If you want to produce a child that is hard against God. If you want to produce a child that will never want to go to church, then be a hypocrite. It is almost worse than being a non-believing parent. And I will tell you why. If you are a non-believing parent like my mom was, I just said, well that is the way she lived. She didn't know God. And I came to Christ and saw the way a person is supposed to be. So I never thought she was a hypocrite. She was true to what she was.
But if there is a parent that says, I am a Christian. And I love God. And they are a hypocrite in the home. And you wonder why that kid has turned away from the Lord. Now I am not saying every kid has turned away because the parent is a hypocrite. Because in many cases they have turned away when the parents have been a sterling example.
In fact if we are going to throw a parent under the bus for having a prodigal son, then we are going to have to say the same of God. If having a prodigal child means you are a failure as a parent, then God is a failure as God. Obviously that isn't true.
But my point is there are a lot of prodigal children out there that are running from the Lord. But my point is simply this. To the best of your ability be a good example for your children to follow.
So you bring them up. And this is a constant process. It never stops. We get some good advice from Moses in Deuteronomy 6. When he says these words, and I am commanding you today, they will be in your heart and you will teach them diligently to your sons. You will talk of them when you sit down in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.
See I always have looked for teaching moments with my kids. And when I say my kids I mean my grandkids too. I always look for opportunities to share truth with them. Yesterday we got together for a little Father's Day celebration. And we are having fun. And I started telling Bible stories to them. But I try to do it in a way that engages them. Because what I want them to say is, tell us another one, Papa.
And I am trying to bring the Word of God to them in a way that they understand. I am always looking for those opportunities. And I think that is a good thing to do in life with our kids. You know instead of telling them to not watch TV, why don't you sit down with them and watch their favorite program with them. They probably won't like that a whole lot. But then you can offer some perspective and maybe a biblical world view. And they might even begin to see it differently than they had before.
But you see we are to train them up in the way that they should go. That is what we are told in the book of Proverbs. What does that mean? That phrase train up is an interesting one. It literally translated speaks of the actions of a midwife who after delivering a child would dip her finger in crushed dates. This resulted in the baby thirsting for milk.
So when it says bring them up a simple translation would be create a thirst in your child's life for God. Create a thirst. That means you need to live in such a way that they will want what you have.
Have you ever noticed that when you go out with someone after church say for a meal and they get some food especially if it is at night. that their food always looks good. You know I will go out with people. We are going to get a bite to eat. Well I don't want to eat late at night. Oh come with us. Okay. I will drink water. Yeah. Right.
So you are sitting there and I mean you have seen how I eat entire cupcakes in one bite. So you are sitting there and they order their burger and fries which I happen to love. And a malt. So you are looking and you are saying could I have one French fry? Sure. Have all you want. And when you eat that stolen French fry there is something about it. It is like so much better.
Then you order your own and your fries are never as good as a stolen one. Have you ever noticed that? But the idea is that they had something you wanted and watching them enjoy it made you want it. Could that not be said of our faith? When we are walking with God and we have a real relationship with Jesus Christ. It will create in your child a desire to know God.
When they see mom praying. When they see dad being a spiritual leader. And they say I want to be like that when I grow up. Train them up. Create a thirst in them.
But also in verb form it speaks of breaking and bringing a horse into submission. So it is an idea of putting parameters in. You are trying to control something that is out of control. So you put it all together and it speaks of creating a thirst in. But also setting up parameters. You have external boundaries for their protection and eternal motivation.
Who are we to do this for? A child. Oh ok. So we only do it for them when they are very little. No. Because this word child is translated many ways in the Bible. The first time we read of it it speaks of an infant. Then it is translated again to be a young boy. Later it speaks of Ishmael in his preteen years. It also is the word used to describe Joseph at age 17.
Thus the word child speaks of young men and women to young adulthood. So that means you continue to train up your children through their lives in the way that they should go.
Now what does that mean? Well actually another way to translate that would be according to their bent. The Amplified Bible translates it as follows. Train up a child in the way he should go. And in keeping with that individual gift or bent. When he is old he will not depart from it.
I think you will discover in time that every child is different. Our two sons Christopher and Jonathan could not be more different from one another. Christopher you had to tell him. You had to tell him again. You had to tell him again. You had to tell him again. Over and over and over.
Jonathan you told him one time. Now I have really seen this with having four granddaughters. Because girls are so much different than boys. The way that they play. My granddaughters like these little toys. I don't know if you have ever heard of them. They are called Lala Loopsies. They are like these little plastic dolls. And when you buy them they come with accessories. Like a little dog or a purse or whatever. And everyone has its own accessories.
So they will line up all these Lala Loopsies. And they have all the accessories with every one. Well now we have little Christopher. The first grandson. And he destroys everything. His job is search and destroy. I have this one toy. It is a hammer. You pound balls. And he just... I said man that boy. He is a boy.
Every child is different. But I tell you. I love being a grandparent. By the way. Grandchildren are the reward for the pain of parenting. They are. And the punishment to your children that put you through it. And so if you are wondering what the role of a grandparent is. I have it for you today. If you are taking notes. If you are a grandparent pay attention.
Here is the to do list for grandparents. Are you ready? Number one. Pick up the grandchildren. Number two. Spoil them. Number three. Load them with sugar. Number four. Or send them home. That is your mission. Should you decide to accept it.
But even when raised in a godly home. Children will rebel. And that is not always a bad thing. It could even be a good thing. You say how so Greg? It means they are starting to think for themselves. I mean don't you want them to be independent? Do you still want your kids living with you in their fifties? I mean come on. You want them to get out there on their own. Get married. Have their own families.
So if they come back and say, You know mom. How do you know the Bible is the word of God? Dad. How could a God of love allow injustice in the world? I am not sure if I believe this myself. They are going through a process they need to go through. And they need to stand on their own two feet. And you need to keep loving them.
You know if you go to the story of the prodigal son. And the gospel of Luke. He rebelled against his father. He went to a distant land. He made a mess of his life. But there is one thing that boy always knew. He always knew there was a place at home for him. Because when he came to his senses he said, I am going to go back home again to my father. And when he returned his father ran to him and beat the tar out of him. Now that is what he deserved. But that is not what happened. The father threw his arms around him and welcomed him home again.
I think the main thing is we keep loving our kids. They can escape our presence. But they can never escape our prayers. But I think the most important thing is be that example.
I read some interesting stats that disclose that if mom and dad attend church regularly throughout their life, 72% of their children will remain faithful in attendance. But if only dad attends church regularly, 55% will remain faithful. If only mom attends church regularly, 15% will remain faithful. If neither mom attends regularly, or rather if neither attends regularly, only 6% remain faithful.
You see how important it is to pass this legacy on and not just drop your kids off at church but take them with you and lead them and train them and raise them up. And you do this throughout their lifetime because one day they are gone. And that can be gone because they are married. That can be gone because the Lord calls them home. And that happened to us, our oldest son, five years ago, was called to heaven.
You know Father's Day is a hard day for me because I think of him. And he used to make me the most amazing Father's Day cards you have ever seen. Christopher was an artist and he would do these beautiful cards custom each year. I always looked forward to them. I said, Don't buy me a gift. Make me a card. And I saved them all. And I have them on my shelf today along with the cards that my son Jonathan has given me and all the other things. Every drawing my grandkids have done. They are hanging on my walls. I save all that stuff. I just love it.
But whoever plans on their child preceding them to heaven. You know when I was in high school I was a runner believe it or not. A short distance runner. I was pretty fast for a short time. Christopher was a runner as well. He was a long distance runner. So we would have races. I would go to his track meets and I would race him. And you know I could always beat him. Even as he got older and I got older I could still beat him in a race. And I always took pride in that. I beat him every time.
So one day we were on a beach. And I don't remember his exact age. I think he was in his 20s at this point. And I said, Do you want a race? And of course I made it a short race. So it would play to my advantage not his. See that Mark right there? Let's run to the Mark. You ready? He said, I am ready. Get set. Go. Boom. I took off. And he is right next to me. The whole time I go, Oh no. So I try to get that little burst of energy. He passes me. He kills me. And he passes the finish line. I was crestfallen and proud of him at the same time. It is like, Ah. But good. You know. He beat me.
And we are in a race in life. And we can think of this as sort of a relay race. You know where they hand on the Baton. Now the idea is we run and we hand the Baton on to our sons and our daughters. And then they hand it on to the next generation. It is a legacy of a godly life. We say, Okay. I am done. Here it is. Now you carry it on.
So you can say with Paul, I fought the good fight. I finished the course. I kept the faith. Henceforth there is later for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will give to me in that day, and not to me only, but to all who love his appearing.
In my case, my son, who beat me in the race on the beach, also beat me in the race of life. And he is in heaven. In effect, he handed the Baton to me. And I am carrying on. And I am going to pass it on to his daughters. Not in etiquette, but in other ways. To my son Jonathan. To his daughters and son, my grandson. And if God is gracious, to my great grandchildren.
But that is what it is all about. We are here to know God. To walk with God. Then we leave this world and we go to heaven. Let's make sure we do that job well.
Invitation to Christ and Recommitment
And in closing there might be some of you, I mentioned prodigal sons. Maybe you are a prodigal son. Maybe you are a prodigal daughter. Maybe you have been running from God. The good news is the door is open. God will welcome you back if you will turn from your sin and ask for his forgiveness.
Maybe there are some of you here right now that have never put your faith in Jesus Christ. Maybe you came today as a favor to your wife. Maybe you came as a favor to your kids. Dad, come to church. You stinking heathen. So you showed up. I am glad you are here.
But I want you to know, Dad, that you have a Father in heaven that loves you. I want you to know, Dads, if you have failed and you have not been the spiritual leader it is not too late to change. You say, I messed up everything. Okay. You can't change that. Start today. To be the godly man he has called you to be. You would be amazed at how much good it could still do.
So I am going to give you an opportunity, dads and moms, men and women, younger people who aren't even married yet. If you don't know Christ, if you don't have a relationship with him, you can have it right now.
Jesus Christ came to this earth on a rescue mission to save us from our sin. He went to a cross. He died there in our place. He bore all of our sin. And then he Rose again from the dead. And now he is here with us right now standing at the door of our lives and knocking. And he says if we will hear his voice and open the door he will come in.
If you have not asked him in yet do it right now as we close in prayer. Let us pray. Father, thank you for your word to us. Thank you for your love for us. Thank you for your call that is extended to every one of us right now.
And I pray for any here that may not yet know you. They are not certain that they would go to heaven when they die. They are still living in guilt and sin. But they need a second chance in life. They need to be forgiven. Lord would you help them to come to you right now and receive your forgiveness.
While our heads are bowed and our eyes are closed and we are praying. How many of you would say today, I need Jesus Christ in my life. I want to be forgiven of my sin. I want to know that I will go to heaven when I die. I am ready to say yes to Jesus right now. If that is your desire. If you want Christ to come into your life. If you want to ask Jesus to be your Savior and Lord would you raise your hand up right now and I will pray I pray for you.
Wherever you are sitting you want Christ to come into your life. Raise your hand I'll pray for you. God bless you. God bless you and you and you. God bless you. If you are watching a video screen raise your hand up. I can't see you. But the Lord sees you. You raise your hand too. Here at Harvest Riverside. Out in the amphitheater up in the court building. There at Harvest Orange County. Raise your hand up. You want I want Christ to come into your life. God bless each one of you.
Maybe there are some of you that would say, I have been a failure as a parent or as a husband or a wife or even as a Christian. I want to recommit my life to Jesus. I want to come back to Him. Pray for me if that is your desire. Would you lift your hand up right now. Let me pray for you. You want to come back to the Lord today. Make a recommitment.
I am going to ask now that every one of you that have raised your hand if you would please to stand to your feet. And I am going to lead you in a prayer of commitment to Jesus. Every one of you that have raised your hand stand to your feet right now wherever you are. Stand up. God bless you. Stand up. Stand up. Stand up. There watching by video. Stand up. Harvest Orange County. Stand up. Outside in the amphitheater in the court building. Stand to your feet right now. Here in the main sanctuary. Anybody else? Stand. I am going to lead you in a prayer of commitment or recommitment to Jesus.
One final moment. God bless you. Anybody else? Stand now. You won't regret doing this. Anybody else? All right. All of you that are standing, I want you to pray this prayer out loud after me. Again, as I pray, pray this out loud after me right now. Pray this with me if you would. Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner. But I also know that you are a Savior. And you died on the cross for my sin. Now I choose to follow you. Forgive me of my sin. Be my Savior and my Lord. Be my God and my friend. Thank you for your love and your forgiveness. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.