Greg Laurie - Hope for Those Who Have Lost Loved Ones (12/24/2017)
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Pastor Greg Laurie opens the "Hope for Hurting Hearts" series with John 11, sharing his raw grief after losing his son Christopher in 2008. He explains that hope anchors us through loss—pain and hope coexist, God’s thoughts toward us are good with a future in view, Jesus weeps with us, and God can be glorified through suffering, ultimately pointing to resurrection hope and eternal life.
Introducing Hope for Hurting Hearts – John 11
Let's turn in our Bibles to John chapter 11. We are starting our brand new series today that we are calling "Hope for Hurting Hearts." And before I begin let me take a quick poll. I am going to ask you if you have a hurting heart. But before I do I am going to define what I mean by that. How many of you have lost a loved one? You are facing crisis. You are going through hardship or a time of great trial right now. Raise your hand up. Okay that is quite a few of you.
How many of you are not? Raise your hand up. Don't be embarrassed. That is good. Good for you. It is coming. So here is the way I look at it. When we have those moments of common life where things are going reasonably well we give God the glory. But sometimes the Lord will give us truth in our life that we will store up for another day. Sort of like the little squirrel saving up for the winter.
So store these truths in your heart. Because if you live very long it is only a matter of time until a loved one is going to leave this world before you. Before a doctor gives you bad news. Before some kind of crisis happens in your home. So we want to be prepared.
It has been said if you preach to hurting people you will never lack for an audience. Today I am going to talk about hope for those who have lost loved ones. And I posted this on my Facebook page that I was going to be addressing this topic. And you want to go and read what people said. It is one sad story after another. People that are facing great crisis or have lost a loved one recently and how they are seeking to cope with it. So certainly there is a lot of people that need to hear this.
Joining the Unwanted Club – My Personal Journey
I have become a member of a club I never wanted to join. But there is no denying the fact that I am a bonafide member. And I have met many others who are in it as well. And so I hope that I can bring some words of comfort and encouragement and perspective to those that are facing this right now.
You know, I guess I should give my credentials and why I feel qualified to speak about this. I suppose that I have suffered quite a bit in life. I have not suffered as much as some. But perhaps I have suffered more than others. I had a crazy childhood. You have all heard the story of my upbringing. My beautiful mother who wanted to look like Marilyn Monroe. And here is our little son Greg. I was a cute little guy though, wasn't I? Thank you very much for that affirmation. You by the way were the only one who clapped. But thank you.
But see I was wearing blue jeans even back then. See that? Always worn. Anyway. But this is an interesting photo. People have asked me where it was taken. I really don't remember. That is pretty little needless to say. But my mom is in her full Marilyn Monroe mode. You can see there is like a old 50's style car here. This could have been Long Beach. I look a little uncomfortable. I still get this expression on my face when breakfast isn't ready.
But you can see a little discomfort. And I will tell you why. Though I don't remember this moment I know why there would be discomfort. For starters my mom never hugged me. My mom never told me she loved me. And she is all dressed up. So she was probably on her way out. This probably was at my grandparents house. And I saw my mom rarely. And she would come and make an appearance. And I would be so excited to see her. Then she would disappear again. And this was sort of the cycle of my life. Being with her. Not being with her. Dealing with all of the things she went through as an alcoholic and someone who was married and divorced seven times.
From Military School to Salvation – Early Faith
Well then I was sent to military school. And though I did not like going to military school, though I was very lonely there, I have to look back and acknowledge it was one of the more stable times of my life. The Southern California Military Academy on Signal Hill in Long Beach. It is no longer there. And I remember that we were forced, not forced, but it was mandatory to attend chapel every Sunday. So along with the other cadets I would sit in the chapel services. And there was a song that we sang there that I still remember to this day.
The title I think is "You'll Never Walk Alone." And the song words went along these lines. "When you walk through a storm, hold your head up high and don't be afraid of the dark. At the end of the storm is a golden sky. And the sweet silver song of the lark. Walk on through the wind. Walk on through the rain. Though your dreams be tossed and blown. Walk on. Walk on with hope in your heart. And you will never walk alone."
For some reason that song resonated with me. I had this optimism, despite my upbringing, that someday in some way things were going to get better. I always believed that there was a God. I always believed in Jesus Christ. And as much as I knew about Him.
When I lived to my grandparents home, she had a painting or a portrait of Christ hanging on her wall. It was this exact image that I was very familiar with. And as a little boy I would look at this depiction of Jesus and sort of looking off somewhere. And I would have great admiration for Him. I would think, "I wish I could know this Jesus." But He came. He died. He is gone. Or maybe He is up there somewhere. But I don't know where. And I don't know how to communicate with Him.
But though my life had taken a lot of difficult twists and turns, in 1970 I heard a message that I understood. And I prayed and asked Christ to come into my life. Now that was when things started turning for the better.
Building a Family – Marriage and Fatherhood
And I was determined to not follow in the footsteps of my mother. Though she had been married seven times, I was determined to have a successful marriage. And so when I met Kathy and we got married, we wanted to do everything to make our marriage strong. And I am thankful to say that we have been married now for 37 years. And God has been so good to us.
And then our first son came along, Christopher. And then ten years later along comes Jonathan. You know, because I never had a father growing up, I wanted to be super dad. I am not implying that I think I succeeded because I don't think I did at all. But I wanted to be a hands on father. I wanted to be a loving father. I wanted to be a present father. I wanted to teach him in the way of the Lord. But I wanted to have fun with them too.
And you know, no question about it, I spoiled Christopher. I bought him way too many toys. And I think one of the reasons was I wanted to personally play with those toys too. Like Dr. Dobson once said, "every parent owes their first child an apology." There is probably some truth to that. But Christopher is a good looking young man. There is a photo of him. And he takes after his mother.
And you know, he was precocious. And he was always getting into trouble. And he had a time where as he got a little bit older in his twenties, he rebelled against the Lord. He was never rebellious outwardly with us. But I know he was living a double life. And we prayed. We spent many sleepless nights. And then thankfully, God got hold of him. And he made a recommitment to Christ. And then he got married to a girl named Brittany. And our first granddaughter, little Stella, was born. And it was so exciting to be a grandparent. And then also, little Lucy was on the way.
The Day Everything Changed – July 4, 2008
But my life changed on July 4, 2008. It was a sunny day, not a cloudy day, not a rainy day. We were at home. Kathy was doing a little Bible study with Brittany, Christopher's wife and her mom. And I was watching Stella. And we hadn't heard from Christopher. He worked here at the church and was on his way to work. And we tried to call him. He didn't answer. So I texted him. I remember what I said. "Where are you?" There was no answer.
Well, the reason there was no answer is my son left this world around 9:01 and went into the presence of God in an automobile crash. Now, I have to tell you, when I heard this news, I don't know how to describe it to you. Only those of you who have lost a loved one will understand what I'm about to say. But the word "devastated" doesn't express how bad it actually is.
Now, understand, I've been a pastor for quite a long time. And I've actually been with parents when they've heard the news. I was with one couple in the waiting room of a hospital when their child was being operated on. And the doctor came and revealed that she had not made it through. So I've been there. I've seen it up close and personally. I know what it's like. And I thought, I had a sense of what it would be like to hear it. But man, when it happens to you, it's like time just stops.
And I went into an immediate state of shock. I collapsed on the floor. I could not stand. I don't even know if I cried. I just was stunned. I couldn't believe this was happening. "It's not possible," I thought.
And immediately, it seemed like within minutes, our home was filled with well-wishers and family and friends. And the phone was ringing. And everyone was trying to bring help and comfort. But it was just a blur of noise to me. And I got away. And I went over to my office, which is over our garage. And I just fell on the floor. And I just cried out to God for help to get through, not the day, but the minute. It just seemed like, "How can you survive this?"
I actually thought if a person could die from hearing words, I could have died from what I had just heard. I lost my appetite. I couldn't sleep. And it just seemed to go on forever. It's like a nightmare. And you keep hoping that you'll wake up from it. You know, when you have that bad dream, and your heart is racing, and you wake up, and you say, "it's okay. It's just a dream." I wanted so badly to wake up from this dream. That was not a dream at all. It was reality.
Returning to Church – Needing God More Than Ever
So Friday passed, and then Saturday came and went, and Sunday. And then we thought, well, let's go to church. And I came here. Now, people have said to me, "oh, Greg, it was so courageous of you to come to church." You know, "you're such a model of faith." Well, thank you for saying that. But you know what? I was here because I needed God. I don't think it was an example of great faith. I think it was the example of someone who was weak, who needed help. But I'm not embarrassed to admit that.
So we came, and we wanted to hear the Word of God taught. And we wanted to worship the Lord. And I'm not embarrassed to say that.
Well now, it's been three and a half years since that tragic day. I'm still mourning. It still hurts. Is it the same as it was back then? No, it isn't. It's different. Is it better? In a way it is. But it's still very, very painful. There is still a gaping hole in our lives that was once occupied by Christopher.
But I've learned a lot about grieving and loss and daily pain. I've learned how to live with pain, how to cope with it. As I mentioned a few moments ago, I've become a part of a club I never wanted to join so hardly. A day goes by when I don't encounter someone or hear from someone who has also lost a loved one. And they're asking for some kind of help. So I've learned a lot about these things. I've learned more about mourning. But I want to tell you one other thing I've learned a lot about. I've learned about hope. And I have hope. And my hope today is stronger than it has ever been at any other time in my life.
Hope as an Anchor – The Biblical Foundation
And that is why I want to do this series that I'm calling "Hope for Hurting Hearts." Because we all need hope, don't we? And hope is like an anchor that keeps us in place during the tumultuous storms of life. In fact, Hebrews 6:19 says "we have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure."
And so that's what we want to share with you today. Understand what I'm going to be sharing with you in the next few messages is not from an ivory tower of theory. This is from the valley of the shadow of death, where I have personally found the hope promised to us in Scripture. That is where we are going to find the hope that we need. We are going to find it in God's Word.
Listen to Psalm 119, verse 114. "You are my refuge and my shield. Your Word is my only source of hope." Romans 15:4 says, "Such things were written in the Scripture long ago to teach us, and they give us hope and encouragement as we wait patiently for God's promises."
It's been said that men can live 40 days without food, three days without water, eight minutes without air, and about one second without hope. We all need hope in life to get through.
Now listen, that doesn't mean that you're not going to feel pain. To have hope does not mean that you have a permanent smile plastered on your face, nor does it mean you've had some kind of a spiritual lobotomy where you don't feel what other people feel. You can have hope and pain coexisting together.
But what does it mean to have hope? Is it just hope in hope? "Oh, I just know things will get better." Well wait, you don't know it, because things could actually get worse, right? So what is my hope in? My hope is in God. I have to look to Him.
Jeremiah 29:11 – God's Thoughts Toward Us
And here's what God says to us in one of my favorite verses, Jeremiah 29:11. "The Lord says, 'I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the Lord. Thoughts of peace and not of evil to give you a future and a hope.'"
That's what God is saying to us. Now contextually, that statement was given to the Israelites when they were in Babylonian captivity. Because of their penchant for idolatry, the Lord banished them to the land of idolatry, Babylon, for seventy long years. They were no longer worshiping. They said they hung their harps on the Willow tree, which means that they sort of put the guitar away in the closet and unplugged the amps. And there were no praise services happening because they felt like God had forgotten about them. And God had abandoned them.
So with that backdrop, the Lord says, "Hey, everyone, listen. I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the Lord. They are thoughts of peace, not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." God was saying, "Israel, listen to me. Your days are not over. I have a future for you." And God is saying the same to us.
I love how the Lord says, "I know the thoughts that I think towards you." It would have been enough if God would have said, "I know the single thought I once had towards you for a fleeting moment." Wouldn't you be happy to know that God Almighty, the creator of the universe, had a single thought about you? I would.
But that is not what the Lord says. He says, "I know the thoughts, plural, more than one. That I think, not just past tense, but present tense, toward you. Thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you a future." So the thoughts of God are from what He has thought, what He is thinking, and what He still will think. They are good thoughts.
The Bible says in Psalm 40:5, "Many are your wonderful works which you have done, and your thoughts toward us cannot be counted. They are more than can be numbered."
The Expected End – Heaven as Our Ultimate Hope
Now listen to this. It all depends how someone is thinking about you. I mean, someone might be thinking about you right now, and they are thinking evil thoughts. They are plotting in how they are going to destroy you. You are like, "don't think about me. Get me off your radar screen." But that is not the way God is thinking. "I know the thoughts that I think toward you says the Lord. Thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."
So his thoughts are good. And what does he mean when he says a future? It could better be translated "an expected end." Or another translation would say "a ground of hope," or "things hoped for." In other words, there will be an outcome. There will be completion in your life. God will tie up the loose ends, because as a Christian, I am a work in progress.
I am an artist. I use that word loosely. I didn't say I was a good artist. But I like to draw. And people will sometimes ask me to draw something, and they'll say, "Greg, draw me," or "draw this," or "draw that." And I like to draw for little kids, especially, you know, because they are always so appreciative. And so I will sit down, and I will have a pen, and I am looking at the paper. And maybe I will just sort of do a line, and I will start to smile. And someone will say, "what are you smiling at? There is nothing on the paper." I say, "I am just laughing about what I am going to do, because it is going to be a caricature of you, and you are going to look so bad." No, see, but that is me, right?
So here is God, and He is working on a canvas. And He does the line. We say, "wow, Lord, what is that going to be? Finish it. Come on, complete it." But in God's mind, the art is done. The painting is completed. It is already finished. And in the same way, God looks at you. And though it is still a work in progress for you, God knows exactly what He is doing. There is an expected end, and it is good.
Now you might say, "no, wait, Greg. What about when everything in life doesn't make sense? What about when we get sick and we pray to be healed, and we are not? And what about when someone dies? Where is the good now, Greg? Where is the expected end now? Really?" It is called heaven, folks. It is not going to all be rosy on earth. You are going to have good moments here. You are going to have times when things come together and make sense. And then there is going to be times when they don't make any sense at all. But ultimately, the future for every believer is being in the presence of God in heaven. That is the thing we hope for. And God is the one we place our trust in.
Psalm 38:15 says, "You, O Lord, I hope in you. You will hear, O Lord, my God." Psalm 130, verse 5. "I am counting on you, Lord. Yes, I am counting on you. I have put my hope in your word."
Hope and Mourning Together – Biblical Perspective
Now, this all sounds quite sunny and happy. But I want you to know that you can actually be hopeful and mourning simultaneously. You know, when a loved one leaves this world, especially when it is unexpected, it tears us up inside. Even when it is expected, it is very hard to deal with. There is a deep sense of loss because there was a deep love.
You know, sometimes people will say, "Well, you shouldn't be crying. You shouldn't be mourning there in heaven if they are a believer." But even the great apostle Paul talked about the deep sorrow he was feeling if a friend of his would die. In Philippians 2:25 he says, "I thought I would send Epaphroditus back to you. He is a true brother, a faithful worker, a courageous soldier. He was your messenger to help me in my need. Now I am sending him home again for he has been longing to see you. And he was very distressed that you found out he was ill. And he surely was ill. In fact, he almost died. But God had mercy on him. Listen to this. Paul says, 'But also on me so I would not have such unbearable sorrow.'"
This is Paul who has been to heaven and has come back again. This is Paul who had more faith than anyone you can imagine. And yet Paul himself is saying, "If Epaphroditus had died, I don't know if I could have borne it." You see? And that is how it can be. You wonder, "Can I bear this? Can I get through this?" When you lose someone, you think, "Can I survive this?" And people will say, "You know what? Don't cry. Get over it." But I want to say something to you that know someone that is mourning. The Bible says there is a time to weep. And there is a time to mourn. And don't ever tell a person who has lost someone to get over it or to stop crying. Who are you to say such a thing?
Giving Space to Grieve – Healing Through Mourning
I think of some things that I have flippantly said. I think of some things that I have flippantly said even to people who are going through a time of mourning in my impatience to see them get better. I had their best interests in mind, but I didn't really know what I was talking about. You need to give them space. You need to give them time. And understand something. This mourning is part of the healing process. If you don't go through it properly it can sort of mess you up a little bit.
I know people that have lost loved ones that have never dealt with it properly. They have never mourned as they should. They are either in a state of denial where they will not acknowledge it happened or they can't let go of the person and it changes who they are. You need to let it out. And though you want to fight tears, I am telling you tears have their place. And when you cry, and I mean really cry. Not when your eyes messed up. I mean when you cry so badly it is like you feel pain in your chest. And you drop to the ground. That kind of mourning can actually have a healing effect on the person.
So be patient with people who are mourning. But now let me say a word to you who are mourning the loss of someone. You need perspective. You need perspective.
Psalm 42 the psalmist writes, "Day and night I have only had tears for food. While my enemies continually taunt me saying, 'Where is this God of yours?' My heart is breaking as I remember how it used to be. I walked among the crowds of worshipers leading a great procession to the house of God. Singing for joy and giving thanks. It was the sound of a great celebration."
But then he corrects himself. And he says, "Why am I discouraged? Why am I so sad? I will put my hope in God. I will praise him again. My Savior and my God."
I know what the psalmist means when he says, "I've only had tears for food." When you have a breakfast, lunch, and dinner of tears. And you lose your appetite. And you cry constantly. You know my wife said she had only seen me cry maybe two or three times in our life together. And after the Lord took Christopher, I cried every day. For hours. And in deep crying. And so I understand what he is talking about here.
Preaching to Myself – Pulling Up from the Pit
But there would be times where I would sort of go into like a black hole. Here is what happens. You are just going about your life. And something triggers a memory. And so many things can do it. It is ridiculous. And you remember this time you were together. And then your first instinct is to call them or talk to them. And you realize they are gone. And then you say, "They are gone. They are gone. I will never see them on this earth again." And then you say, "I will never see them again. And why did this happen to me?" And all these things go through your mind.
I am just being honest with you. You think preachers don't think these things? I am still just a guy. Okay? All these thoughts go through my mind. So here is what I do. I say, "Greg, you listen to me now." I start preaching to myself. Someone watching would think I am a lunatic. And maybe I am. But I am a hopeful lunatic.
I will say, "Greg, you listen to me. The Bible says you will see your son again. And he is in heaven. And the Bible says that Jesus is the resurrection and the life. And he that believes in him will not die." And Greg, and I will remind myself of the promises of God. I will quote them out loud to myself. And you know what? It just sort of lifts me up from this pit I found myself in. And we need to do this. That is what the psalmist is doing. "Hey man, all I do is cry day and night. Why has this happened to me? I remember the good old days." And then he says, "hey, hope thou in God. What are you doing?" And he corrects his thinking.
Grief Like Wiping Out on a Wave – Finding Perspective
Grief is a lot like wiping out on a wave. How many of you surf? Raise your hand up. We don't have a lot of surfers here at Harvest. Okay. Let me restate the question. How many of you have ever been out in the ocean and you got caught in a set of waves and got pounded in white water? Raise your hand. There we are. See that is more like me. I would like to say, yes, I'm a great surfer, but I'm more like the guy floundering in white water.
I went out surfing with Raul Rees a while back and Raul tells everyone how much he surfs and surfs. But as I recall, we didn't do a lot of wave catching. We did more floundering in white water, the two of us together. But it sounds good when we say we're surfers, right? But anyway, what you want to avoid is getting caught in this impact zone.
So when you're out surfing or body surfing or boogie boarding or whatever you're doing, you see a set of waves coming in. You have to do the very thing you don't want to do, which is go toward the wave, right? You want to run to the shore, but you don't want to do that. So you go toward the wave, you swim, try to go under the wave or over the top of the wave, but you're paddling out and the wave picks you up. And the worst way to go is backwards, which I've done. And then you get so discombobulated, you don't know which way is up. And more than one person has drowned because they went the wrong direction. They went down when they should have gone up. They take water into their lungs. They go unconscious.
So here's what you need to remember. If you're out surfing and you have your surfboard or your boogie board and you have a leash on attached to your ankle, grab your leash and pull on it and go in the direction of the leash. Why? Because it's attached to your board and your board is buoyant and will be on the surface. So even if it goes against the logic in the moment, follow your leash to the top, right?
Well that's very helpful. I just wanted to give you that little tip. Anyway so let's go...no. It's a good tip though. Here's the analogy. The Word of God is like that leash that we pull on. And it takes us to the surface where we can get proper perspective on what is really happening because our emotions like whitewater will get the best of us and we'll be overwhelmed. But we hope in God and we believe the Word of God and it corrects us. And then we might get caught in another wave and then another. But we keep hoping again and again and again.
The Lazarus Story – When Hope Seemed Lost
Well let's look now at our text. John chapter 11. This is a story of people who had lost hope. It's a story of the death of a loved one, a man named Lazarus and how his sisters Mary and Martha reacted. It's also a story of how Jesus reacts to such circumstances and how God can be glorified in such situations. But it's a hopeful message. We see how the Lord deals with these people and how He deals with us.
Before we read these verses let's just point out that Mary, Martha, and Lazarus were a tight knit family. There were three siblings that loved each other. And they had a great home. Everyone knew Martha was a killer chef. And Jesus loved to come visit. Showing up with a bunch of his friends. "Hey we are here. Brought twelve friends. Is that okay?" And Martha who was so hospitable would always make up a fantastic meal for the Lord.
These guys, Mary, Martha, and Lazarus could legitimately say that Jesus of Nazareth was their personal friend because He frequented their home. Which was within striking distance from Jerusalem there in Bethany.
So now tragedy comes even to their home. And Lazarus is very, very ill. That's where the story starts. John 11 verse 1. "Now a certain man was sick, Lazarus of Bethany. The town of Mary and her sister Martha. It was that Mary who anointed the Lord with fragrant oil and wiped his feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was sick. Therefore the sister sent to him saying, 'Lord, behold, he whom you love is sick.'"
Key Lessons from Lazarus' Sickness and Death
So what do we learn from this story?
Number one. Life is filled with pain, sorrow, and the death of loved ones. Again, life is filled with pain, sorrow, and the death of loved ones.
I don't know why, but some of us may think we are going to get a pass. We are going to somehow make it through life unscathed. Never having a major tragedy. Never having any kind of illness. Never losing a loved one. It is just all going to be great. But then when it comes our way, we are shocked. Don't be shocked.
In fact, Jesus said in the Gospel, excuse me, Peter said in 1 Peter 4:12, "Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you as though some strange thing were happening to you." Don't be surprised. Like, "why is this happening?" What do you mean why is it happening? It happens to everyone.
Jesus said, "In this world you will have tribulation." So it is going to come your way. It is going to knock at your door. It will probably start with your grandparents dying. And then your parents. And eventually it could be your spouse. It might be a child. It could be a close friend that will remind you of your mortality. But when it is someone close to you like a spouse, or a child, or a brother as it was for Mary and Martha. It is a whole different thing.
So that is number one. Life is filled with pain, sorrow, and the death of loved ones.
Number two. God loves us. God loves us. Don't rush over that. And don't misunderstand it. Let it sink in. God loves you.
Listen to this. Whatever He does or allows to happen in your life as His child is motivated by His everlasting love for you. Let me repeat that. Whatever He does or allows to happen in your life as His child is motivated by His everlasting love for you.
God says in His Word, "I have loved you with an everlasting love. Therefore with loving kindness I have drawn you." He loves you. And He loved them.
I want you to notice what they said in verse 3. "Lord, the one whom you love is sick." They knew Jesus loved them. And by the way, this word that is used here for "the one you love" is from the Greek word phileo. And phileo means brother love. Now that is where Philadelphia got their name. The city of brotherly love. Phileo.
"Lord, your friend that you love like a brother is sick." That was the word that they sent to Jesus. You know, and that is the perfect thing to do when crisis hits. When you are in trouble, bring it to Jesus.
When the Israelites were criticizing and turning against Moses. We read in Exodus 15:25. He cried unto the Lord. When you are criticized unfairly, take it to the Lord. When Hezekiah received a threatening letter. We read that he spread it out before the Lord. Have you ever received a letter threatening you? When John the Baptist was beheaded, the disciples went and told Jesus. Matthew 14:12 says.
So that is what we need to do when trouble comes. We need to go and tell Jesus.
Appealing on God's Love – Not Ours
Now, I want you to notice the basis for their appeal. They didn't say, "hey Lord, you owe us man. We fed you all the time. And you and your friends crashed at our house. How about showing a little love here and healing your buddy?" They didn't say anything like that. Hey, Mary could have said, "who was there at your feet anointing them? Huh? That was me, right?" Martha could have said, "hey, who makes your favorite meatloaf, huh?"
They didn't do any of that. They just said, "Lord, the one that you love is sick." Verse 3. They didn't even say, "Lord, we love you so much, so do this for us." They did not base their appeal on their love for God, but rather on His love for them.
That is just what we should do. Because guess what? My love, your love, it is fickle. It fluctuates. God's love for me is consistent and never changing. "Lord, the one that you love is sick" and the time to act is now. And Jesus would act in His time and in His way.
Look at verse 4 and 5. "When Jesus heard that, He said, 'This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it.' Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. Therefore when He heard that He was sick, He stayed two more days in the place where He was."
What? He did what? It seems like we would have read that when Jesus heard this, because He loved Mary, Martha, and Lazarus, He found the fastest horse and ran full speed to get to his sick friend. Or we could read that Jesus just appeared there. Boom! "Hello everyone. What's up? How can I help?"
Now because He loved them, He delayed His arrival. Interesting though, a different word is used here for love. Mary and Martha say, "The one you love," phileo, brother love is sick. The word that is used here is the Greek word agape, which speaks of God's all-consuming love.
And Jesus, because He loved Him in this way, did not come when they wanted Him to come. Remember, His delays are not necessarily His denials. Just as surely as God has His will, He has His timing. Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, "God has made everything beautiful in His time."
So here is what is really happening. Jesus is trying to help Mary and Martha to get the big picture. "Guys, I know it seems like I should come there right now, but what I am going to do is better than what you are asking me to do. I am going to go above and beyond your request."
Martha's Confrontation – Honest but Hopeful
And when He finally shows up, things are looking pretty bleak. Lazarus is not sick anymore. Lazarus is dead. He has been that way for four days. The process of decomposition has already set in. Jesus not only did not come and heal His friend, He even missed His funeral.
And so seeing Him coming down the road, Martha is going to give Jesus a piece of her mind. Look at John 11 verse 20. "Then Martha, as soon as she heard Jesus was coming, went and met Him. But Mary was sitting in the house. Then Martha said to Jesus, 'Lord, if you would have been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know whatever you ask of God, He will give it to you.'"
Jesus said, "Your brother will rise again." Martha said, "Well I know he will rise again in the resurrection of the last day." Jesus said, "I am the resurrection and the life. He that believes in Me, though he were dead, yet shall he live. And whosoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?"
Pretty brash words from Sister Martha here. "Lord, if you would have been here, this would not have happened." Allow me to loosely paraphrase it, and I don't think I am taking any liberties here. Jesus, Martha is saying, "You blew it. We were bragging on you. We were telling everyone, You were our close friend and you didn't show up when we needed you."
Have you ever felt that God let you down? Have you ever asked God why? "God, why? Where were you when my marriage dissolved? Where were you when my parents divorced? Where were you when my child went astray? Where were you when my loved one died?" You might ask.
Being Honest with Jesus – He Can Handle It
Now I want you to know something very important. Jesus does not rebuke Martha for what she said. You would have thought He would have said, "Shut your mouth, girl. Show some respect. Do you know who I am?" He didn't do that. He sort of absorbed it. Why? Because in effect what Martha was doing was not all that bad. Oh sure, she shouldn't have made these accusing remarks to Christ. But the fact is she was making them to Christ. In other words, she was talking to Jesus. She wasn't running from Jesus. She was running to Jesus with her problems. And that is what you need to do.
You know, people will say, "Oh don't ever ask God why." You know what I would say? Ask God why as much as you want. Don't expect an answer but ask away. You know what I say to you? Be honest with God. You think God doesn't see your heart when you pray? So be honest. Say "God, I am not happy right now. I don't understand this. I am hurting. This doesn't make sense. Why did you..." It is okay to say those things.
Oh Greg, no that is blasphemy. No it is not blasphemy. Jesus Himself said from the cross, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" Was that blasphemy? No. He was calling on His Father. Underline the words, "My God, my God." Lord, I am calling on You.
Look at the honesty of the psalmist as he deals with his problems. And then he calls out to God. That is what we need to do. Don't withdraw from God and your Christian friends. Go to the Lord and cry out to Him. You can ask why. You probably won't get an answer.
Job's Questions – Promises Over Explanations
You know, old Job. We all know his story. And we remember that after he heard the horrible news of the death of his children. That he worshiped God and said, "Naked came I into this world. Naked go I out. Blessed be the name of the Lord." And yet as you read through the book of Job, he asked God, "Why?" Many times. And he never really got an explanation.
But let me ask you this. If the Lord were to actually tell you why certain things happened as they did, would that erase your pain? Or heal your broken heart? I mean let's just say God said, "Okay, okay. I am tired of you asking. Now I am going to tell you. You ready? Write it down. I did this for this reason." And he gives it. What are you going to do? "Oh, okay. I am great. Praise God." Now you are probably going to say, "I don't agree with that. Yeah, I knew you would say that. That makes no sense to me, Lord. I mean, I am sorry." Yeah, you know what? That is probably why he doesn't tell you.
Listen. We live on promises, not explanations. And we shouldn't spend too much time asking why. Instead, we should be asking the question, "what?" As in, "what am I supposed to do?" You are to turn to the Lord.
And now Jesus puts things in an eternal perspective. "Your brother will not die." "Yeah, yeah, Lord, I know. Resurrection. I have heard all that. Yeah, it is good." No, no, no. Martha, read my lips. "I am the resurrection and the life. He that believes in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live. Whosoever lives in him shall never die."
Well, that is Martha. She actually seems satisfied because we don't read much more that she said. But now along comes Mary. Now Mary is usually more soft spoken. Martha, you always knew where you stood with her. She spoke her mind. Mary, more laid back.
Mary's Grief – Jesus' Deep Response
But Mary comes along in verse 32. Look at that. "Then Mary came where Jesus was and saw him and fell down at his feet, saying, 'Lord, if you would have been here, my brother would not have died.'" Same statement as Martha.
"Therefore, when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her weeping, he groaned in the spirit and was troubled. And he said, 'Where have you laid him?' They said, 'Lord, come and see.'"
Now the shortest verse in the Bible. Verse 35. "Jesus wept." "Jesus wept." Then the Jews said, "See how he loved him."
That brings me to point number three. Jesus weeps with us in our time of pain. Jesus weeps with us in our time of pain.
Yes, Jesus was God with all of his power and glory, but he was also a man. And he was a man who felt our pain and sorrows. Isaiah 53 says, "He was despised and rejected. He was a man of sorrows and acquainted with the most bitter grief. He carried our weaknesses and our sorrows weighed him down."
Yeah, he knows. He voluntarily put himself in the way of danger to bear our sorrows on the cross. Why would he do this? Hebrews 2:17 gives the answer. It says, "It was necessary for Jesus to be in every respect just like us. And since he has gone through suffering and temptation, he is able to help us when we are being tested."
Listen to this. If it breaks your heart, it breaks his as well. Scripture reminds us that God keeps our tears in a bottle. In fact, we are told in Psalm 56:8, "You keep track of all of my sorrows. You have collected all of my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book."
When I was in Israel in 2008 before our son died, we were running through town and we went to a Jewish antiquity store I had heard about. And they had relics dating back to 3,000 years. Amazing. It is like a museum except they would let you hold things. Just don't drop them. Cost a fortune.
And so I was looking around. It is a lot of fragments of pottery and a lot of just very weathered things understandably. But then standing out in the midst of all of these antiquities was this beautiful translucent blue bottle. This is the actual bottle. It is a photo of it.
And I asked the man who owned the store, "Sir, what is this blue bottle?" He says, "Oh, that is a Roman tear bottle." I said, "Really? I have never heard of a Roman tear bottle. What is that?" He says, "Well, the Romans believed that when they lost a loved one, if they put their tears in a bottle, they would be recorded in heaven."
Well, I was immediately reminded of what the psalmist said, where he says that "you keep my tears in a bottle." And so we took a picture of it. And here it is.
Well, I have a tear bottle. Not this one. It was too much money. It is still there probably. But I have a tear bottle in heaven where God keeps record of every tear I have shed. Where God keeps a record of every tear you have shed. God keeps our tears in a bottle so he may wipe them away some day.
Jesus' Anger at Death – The Way It Wasn't Meant to Be
Let's read just a few more verses and we will end. Look at verse 33 of John 11. "When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, he was moved with indignation and was deeply troubled."
And Jesus was troubled and they came to the grave, and it was a cave with a stone rolled across its entrance. This word for trouble could be better translated, "he was mad." Yes, he was angry and he was ticked off.
And why was Jesus mad? Was Jesus angry with the mourners and those who were crying? "What is wrong with you people?" Absolutely not. He felt complete compassion. Don't forget, he wept with them.
Now I will tell you who he was angry with. He was angry with a grim reaper if you will. No. He was angry with death itself. This was not the way it was meant to be. There should have never been death. There should have never been aging. There should have never been disability. There should have never been sickness. I should have hair. Just thought I'd throw that in to see if you're listening. That's the least of the concerns, right? I've often wondered if in heaven, when we get our glorified body, if we will all be bald like me. Maybe this is the perfected state, and you that have hair, it's a part of the curse. Hey, Chuck Smith doesn't have hair either. Just saying. Okay, but seriously.
Death is an aberration. Death is not the way it was meant to be, but the curse came because of the fall, and Jesus was angry about that.
God Glorified Through Suffering – The Ultimate Hope
But now He is going to put God's glory on display despite this tragedy, bringing me to my final point, number four. God can be glorified through human suffering and bring good despite the bad. Let me say that again. God can be glorified through human suffering and bring good despite the bad.
I'm going to deal with this more in our next message in this series. But, of course, we all know what happened. Lazarus was raised from the dead. I don't think that's the big part of the story, but it is a significant part. He calls him back from the grave.
You know, I feel kind of sorry for Lazarus. Honestly, if you could interview someone in heaven and say, "yeah, we're kind of thinking it would be good if you came back to earth again, but we want to give you a choice. Do you think they would come?" That would be like trying to get a kid out of Disneyland that has been there for like twelve minutes. "Time to go now." "I don't want to go." Yeah. It is time to leave heaven now and come back to this stinking earth. No, that is ok. I will stay here.
But Lazarus had no choice because Jesus called to the other side. When Jesus calls people answer. It is a good thing Jesus did not just say "come forth" because everybody in every grave would have come out simultaneously, globally. He singled it out. "Lazarus, come forth." And up from the grave he arose, wrapped in bandages.
But the bad thing for Lazarus is he had to die twice. It is not bad enough to die once. He had to die twice. So God was glorified through all of this.
But listen to this. Sometimes God is glorified through the removal of the affliction. And you have some problem. And you have people pray. And it goes away. Praise God for that. Or the doctor does a surgery and you are cancer free. Or they take care of that heart issue. Or whatever it is. And we thank God. We thank our doctor. Of course we pay him as well. But we realize God is the one ultimately in control. So that is wonderful.
But then there are times when the surgery does not go as hoped. There are times when the illness is not removed. The problem is not taken away. And then God can be glorified through the enduring of the affliction.
Hope Born from Hardship – Romans 5 Perspective
And listen to this. It is through hardship we will develop hope. You would think the best way to find hope is to have a trouble free life. Right? No. The best place to find hope is through the crisis of life. Because Romans 5:3 says, "We glory in tribulation knowing that tribulation produces perseverance." Which means endurance. "And perseverance produces character. And character produces hope."
Hope is going to come through hardship. So when a Christian suffers and still glorifies God, it reassures the rest of us that there will never be a valley so deep that God will not get us through it. And it also reminds us that death is not the end. Physical death is not the end of existence. It is just a change in the state of existence. The tomb is not the entrance to death, but the entrance to life. Heaven is the earthly life of the believer glorified and perfected.
When a believer dies, they go into God's presence. That is the ultimate hope.
Do you have that hope? What are you hoping in? Everybody hopes in something. Some may be hoping in themselves. They are like Maria in the Sound of Music. Remember, "I have got confidence in confidence." What that is not going to sustain you.
Oh well I have my hope in technology. Really? Oh I am putting my hope in politicians. I really feel sorry for you.
Listen. This is a tried and tested truth. I am saying to you now. Put your hope in God. He will never let you down. That is it. It is true because the Bible says it is true. But let me just say personally, I know it is true because I have put it to the test. And God has been there for me and He will be there for you. And no matter what you face in life, He will walk with you through it.
The psalmist said, "yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me."
You are either hopeful or hopeless. The Bible says in Proverbs 10:28, "the hopes of the godly result in happiness, but the expectations of the wicked are all in vain."
Hope in God.
Final Invitation – Finding Hope Today
Let me ask you in closing, is that where your hope is? Maybe you are facing crisis right now. Maybe you have just heard the worst news imaginable. Maybe you are going through troubles in your marriage, troubles at work, troubles with your family, physical troubles, health troubles, financial troubles. The list goes on. I am sure one of those categories applies to you. You are just in anguish or you are in anxiety right now. And you wonder, "what do I do?"
Here is what you do. You call out to God. And here is the great hope the Christian has. No matter what happens in life we have the guaranteed assurance that when we die we will go to heaven. It is called win-win. Win-win.
See Tim Tebow lost the game yesterday. But he is still a winner. We could talk about his defense and how they could have done a better job protecting their quarterback. But you know you have good days and bad days on the field. But Tebow is a winner because instead of going and getting drunk and partying or doing what some of the other guys do, he is taking time to be with a person with a severe disability that wanted to just be on the field with him. And he spends hours with these people and then glorifies God.
Oh people mock him in how he bows. They mock him. Everyone will bow one day. You know. Tebow is just getting started early that is all. And you know what? He is a winner in that regard.
So yeah we are in the game of life and we lose this game and we lose that play or we get sacked. You know that stuff comes and goes. But win-win means I win in life because I have God with me and I get to heaven on the other side. That is win-win.
Is Christ living inside of you? Do you know that you will go to heaven when you die? If not, do you want this hope? You can find it right now.
We are going to close in prayer and I am going to give you an opportunity to put your faith in Jesus Christ.
Let us all bow our heads.
Father I pray for everybody here. Everybody listening to this message. I ask Lord that you will help them to see how much you love them. Help them to realize Jesus died on the cross for them. And help them to turn from their sin and come to you now and be forgiven.
Now while our heads are bowed and our eyes are closed and we are praying. If you want Jesus Christ to forgive you of your sin. If you want to know with certainty that you will go to heaven when you die. If you want that void in your life filled. If you want your guilt removed. Wherever you are I want you to stand to your feet and I am going to lead you in a prayer of asking Christ to come inside.
So if you want Him to forgive you of your sin. If you want to go to heaven when you die. Stand to your feet right now wherever you are. Just stand up and I am going to lead you in a prayer. That is right. Just stand up. Others are standing. So you won't be alone. Just stand up.
God bless you. God bless you up there in the balcony. There at Harvest Orange County. Stand to your feet. I'm going to lead you in this prayer. Outside in the amphitheater here at Harvest Riverside. Up in the court building. Just stand to your feet and I'm going to lead you in a prayer wherever you are.
While our heads are still bowed, maybe there are some of you that have turned away from the Lord. You were raised as a Christian or you committed your life to Him at one time, but you've sort of pushed God out of your life. And maybe a crisis has been your wake up call. And you need to come back to Him again today. Would you stand as well? Let me lead you in a prayer of recommitment. You need to recommit your life to Christ. Stand up now. God bless you. Stand up now wherever you are.
I'm only going to wait a couple more moments and we are going to pray. Anybody else? Stand now. God bless you. God bless you. Wherever you are, wherever you are hearing or seeing me, stand to your feet now. Why would you put this off? Do it now. And get right with God. This is your wake up call. Answer it. Anybody else? In this final moment, stand now and then we are going to pray.
God bless you. God bless you. Anybody else? Stand now. All right. Now all of you that are standing, I want you to pray this prayer out loud after me and this is where you are asking Jesus Christ to come into your life. Again as I pray, pray this out loud after me right where you stand. Pray with me now.
"Lord Jesus, I know I am a sinner, but you died on the cross for my sin and rose again from the dead. I turn from that sin now. I ask you to come into my life and be my Savior and my Lord and my God and my friend. Give me hope, Lord. I trust in you. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen."