Greg Laurie - Wonder Woman (11/20/2017)
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Pastor Greg Laurie shares a special Mother's Day message on the Proverbs 31 woman, calling her the true Wonder Woman. He highlights her priceless value, virtue, and inner beauty that fears the Lord, showing how godly mothers bring blessing to families and society when we follow God's design.
Opening Prayer and Introduction to Wonder Woman
Lord, we praise You today. We thank You, Lord, for the family that You created. We thank You that You've brought men and women together. And then You have a plan for them and a plan for children and great-grandchildren. And as we have strayed from this plan, this order, this template, we've done so at our own peril, certainly as a nation. We could trace so many of the societal problems we're facing today to the breakdown of the family and specifically to our complete disregard of what Your Word says. So now, Lord, as we look at what You say about women and mothers in particular, help us have an open heart and an open mind to Scripture. So speak to us, we would ask now. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
All right, you can all be seated. Well, let's grab our Bibles and turn to Proverbs chapter 31. And my special Mother's Day message today is titled, Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman. There's a new film coming out. Of course, there was a TV series on before, but a new movie called that. But I want to talk about the real Wonder Woman, the woman of Proverbs chapter 31.
I heard about a group of second graders who were asked what they thought about their mom. They were asked these questions. First, they were asked, why did God make mothers? One of the kids answered, “To help us out of there when we were getting born.” Yeah, that's pretty true. What ingredients are mothers made of? One little boy said, “God made mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world with one dab of mean.” I like that. Yeah.
What Kids Really Think About Mom
A little girl was asked, what kind of little girl do you think your mother was? And she said, “I don't know because I wasn't there.” I love the way kids answer questions. But my guess is she would have been pretty bossy, though they said she used to be nice. I don't know how her mom reacted to that. One little boy was asked, why did your mom marry your dad? He said, “Well, she got too old to do anything else with him.”
Another was asked, who is the boss at your house? The child answered, “Mom is. She doesn't want to be, but she has to be, because dad is such a goofball.” That make sense? I like this one. What would it take to make your mom perfect? The little child answered, “Well, on the outside, she already is perfect, but on the inside, some kind of plastic surgery.” It's kind of scary. I don't think they fully understand.
And what's the difference between moms and dads? I like this answer. A little second grader answered, “Moms work at work and work at home, and dads only work at work.” Right? That sounds true, doesn't it? And finally, if you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? And one little child answered, “I would like her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.” It's true. Well, that's what kids think about their moms.
God's View: The Virtuous Woman of Proverbs 31
Let's talk a little bit about what God thinks of mothers. We're looking at Proverbs 31, which is a description of what the Bible calls a virtuous woman. In fact, we have a women's ministry here, directed by my wife, Kathy, called Virtue. Why do we call it that? Because it's based really on the Proverbs 31 woman.
Have you ever had someone say, “You know, she's a Proverbs 31 woman.” You wonder, well, what does that even mean? We're going to find out together, because this girl that's being described is really the real wonder woman. And by the way, this is the longest description of any family member in the Bible. That should tell us a lot how important a mother is to God.
Now, some of you are already tuning me out. Some of the guys are saying, well, obviously, I'm not going to relate to a Mother's Day message. And some of you ladies who aren't married yet are thinking, well, this doesn't apply to me. And some of you young men are saying, there's nothing in this for me. Actually, there's something for everyone, so I want you all to pay attention.
Another thing I would mention is this chapter is an acrostic. It's an acrostic, meaning each verse begins with a succeeding letter of the Hebrew alphabet. Basically, it goes from one end of the Hebrew alphabet to the other. So it was a way for young people to learn the alphabet going through Proverbs 31. But what we're given here is an A to Z look at what a wonder woman is like, a woman of virtue.
Wisdom from a King's Mother
By the way, it was written by King Lemuel, who was a smart guy because he listened to his mother. Look at Proverbs 31:31. It says, “The sayings of King Lemuel—an oracle his mother taught him.” Now, we don't know a lot about this king. We just know that he had a good Jewish mother. And in addition to feeding him chicken soup, she gave him some great wisdom, which he wrote down.
And I would say without any doubt, my wife Kathy fits this description of the woman of virtue as do the other two girls we're gonna be talking to in a few moments because my message is a little shorter today. That's my Mother's Day gift to you. And then we're gonna hear from two generations of women. My wife Kathy and two young ladies including Tiffany Velasquez who is the director of the women's ministry here under my wife Kathy and also our daughter-in-law Brittany who is married to our son Jonathan. So we're gonna kind of deal with some of those challenges you moms are facing. But let's see what a wonder woman looks like. A woman of virtue.
Go to Proverbs 31. Start in verse 10. “Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”
Key Traits of the Proverbs 31 Wonder Woman
So if you're taking notes, here's point number one. The Proverbs 31 wonder woman is priceless and quite rare. She's priceless and quite rare. You know we live in a time where worth, especially for a woman, is determined by outward appearance. The more beautiful she is, the more valuable she is in the estimation of modern culture, the less beautiful or the older she is, the less valuable she is. And that is the exact opposite of the way God sees things.
Because in Proverbs 31, we have a woman here of character and integrity. In fact, pretty girls are a dime a dozen. But a woman of virtue and honor and character is priceless. Notice that the author does not say, “Who can buy an excellent wife,” because this kind of woman is not for sale. Rather, he says, “Who can find a virtuous wife.”
Now a word to you single guys. This is the kind of girl you need to be looking for. The girl of your dreams. Oh, I want her to be blonde or brunette or tall or short. Forget all that. Start with Proverbs 31. And look for a woman that fits this category or at least is seeking to live this way. This is your standard.
Because listen guys, the most important decisions of your life, two of them: number one, the Lord you serve and the lady you marry. The first decision will determine heaven or hell in the afterlife. And the second decision will determine if you'll have heaven or hell in this life.
And you single girls. This is the girl you want to be. Forget your magazines. The scenes and their articles and their emphasis are so out of sync with what the Word of God says. Forget what you see on television and in commercials. And look at what the Bible says. Because this is God's plan and it's better than any other plan. This is the perfect balance of beauty and brains. Of spirituality and a real person. The girl who lives this way is going to be a happy girl. Because she is a godly girl.
Trust, Love, and Family Devotion
Point number two. The Proverbs 31 girl, the Wonder Woman, if you will, is trustworthy. Look at verse 11. “Her husband can trust her. She'll greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Trust is so important in a marriage. So is communication. You know, a survey was done among divorced people. And they were asked why they thought their marriage failed. The number one reason given, deficient communication. 86%. A breakdown in communication.
You need to be honest with your mate. You need to tell them the truth. Also, you need to honor your vows. You know, on your wedding day, when you made that pledge to your husband or wife-to-be, you need to honor it and live by it. And when there's a breach there, it causes great damage. It's not irreparable. It can be forgiven. But it is very harmful. You don't want that to happen. If you're a trustworthy wife, you have such great value.
Number three, the Proverbs 31 woman, the Wonder Woman, loves her husband. Look at verse 12. “She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” She is his greatest cheerleader. She doesn't tear him down in public. She encourages him. Don't ever tell an embarrassing story about your husband in front of friends. “Well, this guy I'm married to, he's such a loser.” No, don't do that. And to the point, don't do that about your wife either. You build them up in public. And if you have something critical to say to them, and you will, say it privately. But you're there to support them, to love them.
And it's interesting because the Bible tells us that husbands should love their wives and wives should respect their husbands, specifically. That's not to say that a wife should not love her husband, nor is it to say that a husband should not respect his wife. But it is to say the Bible specifically says, husbands, love your wives, as Christ loves the church. And then it says, wives, see that she respects her husband. You need to let your husband know you value him and you appreciate what he does for you.
Number four, this woman of Proverbs 31 loves her family. Look at verse 13. “She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. She is like a merchant ship, bringing her food from afar. She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household.” Did you do that today, girls? Before dawn, oh my. And plan the day's work with her servant girls.
So wool would speak of clothing for the winter. Flax would be clothing for the summer. In this day, they wouldn't buy clothes like we would buy them today. But I think the emphasis here is not that you have to now, you know, start making all the clothes for your family. Though you can do that. And some do that very well. But rather, the word busily is mentioned. She busily does this. And it's a word that speaks of a delightful willingness. She does it with delightful willingness. She enjoys this calling that God has given to her.
A Godly Mother's Wisdom and Lasting Impact
She's also a shrewd investor. Look at verse 16. “She goes to inspect a field and buys it with her earnings.” This lady's an entrepreneur. A businesswoman. By the way, did you know that in 90% of American homes, women control the purse strings? And I think it's good when a woman controls purse strings. Because a guy doesn't really want to carry a purse.
By the way, this is a constant frustration for men. Because, you know, we have a lot of junk we have to carry too. And they make these little man bags. I don't know. You can call them a murse. You know, you call it whatever you want. It's a purse. And it'll be under one minute before another guy mocks you. Right? So you just shove it into a wallet that's the size of a softball. Into your back pocket. And have things.
But, you know, the woman controls the purse strings in most homes. Listen to this. 80% of women, wives, make the healthcare decisions in the home. 75% do the household shopping. 68% make the new car purchases. Sounds like the guys are getting in there with a say-so. And the other percentage is when the wife says to the husband, “You bought what?” I threw that one in. Because that's got to be true, right?
Number five. The Proverbs 31 girl, our Wonder Woman is wise. Look at verse 26. “When she speaks, her words are wise. And she gives instructions with kindness.” The words of a mother. They're so powerful. And they'll stay with the child throughout their life.
I watch my wife, how she spoke to our sons. And taught them the Word of God. And helped them with everything from manners. To politeness. To being tidy. And so forth. And there's a lot of things our mothers have taught us. If you look back over your life, you think, well, you know, our mothers taught us about anticipation. Right? They taught us about anticipation when they said to us, “You just wait until your father gets home.”
Our mothers also taught us about genetics. When they said, “You're just like your father.” They also taught us about justice. When they said, “One day, you're going to have kids. And I hope they turn out just like you. Then you'll see what it's like.”
The Special Bond and Praise for Mothers
But there's something about the bond of a child with a mother that's so special. You know, when a child falls, who do they cry out for? Mommy. Not daddy, generally. Now, if mom's not around, dad's a distant second. But they really want mom. Maybe when that receiver scores a touchdown, he turns to the camera and says, “Love you, mom,” right? Even on the battlefield, stories have been told when young men were dying, they were calling out to their mothers.
That is why we thank God for mothers. And we bless them. Look at verse 28. “Her children stand and bless her. And her husband praises her.” Listen, you need to just let your mother know today that she is appreciated. Yes, a gift is fine. A card is good. Especially if you write something in the card. But she needs to know that you love her. And you've noticed all the things that she's done.
I read a survey that was conducted by the Wakefield Group. And it revealed that an astounding 85% of new millennium moms would like to receive acknowledgement from family and friends that they're doing a good job rather than flowers. So the best thing you could just say to your mother or your wife who is a mom, “You're doing a great job.” And I noticed you did this the other day. If you throw some flowers on top of that, it's even better, right?
I think of the way my boys have expressed their love to their mom over the years. A number of years ago, we said to both of our sons, you know, don't get us gifts for Christmas or our birthdays or Mother's Day or Father's Day. We don't want gifts. We want a card from you. And most importantly, we want you to write something in it. And do you know that we have saved every one of those cards? We have them in a box, every one.
They're like, if my house was on fire, the first thing I'd grab was my wife. I'd grab my wife, get her out. But while I was grabbing her, I'd have that box in the other, you know, the other hand for sure. I hope I wouldn't be running like that because that looked kind of weird. But hey, the house is on fire. What do you want, right?
But here's a card my son Christopher wrote to Kathy. This probably would have been 11 years ago. He's been in heaven now for nine years. He says, “Dear Mom, you've always helped me and encouraged me more than you know. I know that I always tell you how much I love you and how beautiful you are, but I want you to know how beautiful I think you are on the inside. When I'm out and about and I give advice or I think of how you would act, I think about what you would say. I try to treat people like you do and relate to others in a godly, compassionate way. Thank you for loving me unconditionally all my life and raising me to walk in God's plan and Jesus' forgiveness. Have a wonderful day. It's yours. Love, Christopher.”
Our son Jonathan wrote a card for his mom that he gave to her yesterday. It says, “Happy Mother's Day. I love you, Mom. Thank you for the many ways you bless and continue to bless me and my family, as well as those around you. You have impacted many, but none as deep as Christopher and me, your two loving sons. The way you have run your race and lived your life has been with great character and endurance. I pray I continue after your example as well. Love you. Always, Jonathan.”
See, that's... That's a tribute. That's a tribute to a mother who's done her job and is doing her job. Verse 28. “Her children stand and bless her.” Verse 28 says, “Her husband praises her.” Husbands, when's the last time you praised your wife in front of your kids? Hey, in front of complete strangers, let me tell you about my wife. My wife is so awesome because... That goes a long way.
It's hard for guys because girls are far more verbal than men are. You know, I remember when Dr. Dobson came here, he said that when we're born, shortly after birth, men's brains are flooded with testosterone and it causes damage to the brain. But at a certain point, the brain of a girl is flooded with estrogen. And so their brains work differently than our brains do. In other words, we're brain damaged guys, okay? So girls have this way of communicating and knowing what to say. And we're just clueless.
And so we have to just say to ourselves, say this to your wife now. Verbally say, “I love you, I appreciate you, thank you for all that you do.” It's a very important thing.
Number six, the Proverbs 31 girl, the Wonder Woman, is beautiful inside and out. Inside and out. I love how Christopher talked about my wife's inner beauty as well as her outer beauty. Verse 30. “Charm is deceptive, beauty does not last. But a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.”
In other words, tell people about it. So basically, the mother of the king is saying, son, listen to me. I'm your mother. I know what I'm talking about. Look for a godly girl. Don't look for a girl who majors on externals and neglects who she is on the inside. Look for that balanced woman.
I heard a story about a guy who saw a girl he thought he was in love with. And he took her home to meet his parents. And his mother didn't like her. So he brought home another girl to meet his mother. She didn't like her either. So this time, he found a girl that looked like his mother, dressed like his mother, and talked like his mother, brought her home. But then the father didn't like her. See, so. Anyway.
So the king's mother is saying, don't end up with a girl who only cares about her appearance because those who consume themselves with outward appearance alone waste their lives. Why? Because beauty fades. You know, gravity kicks in. We get older and you can do all the stretching you want and all the injections you want and all the whatever and I'm not critical of any of that. Hey, whatever you want to do. But just remember, you're going to get older.
But if you're walking with God, you're going to become more beautiful because it will be an inner beauty along with an outer beauty that makes you the most beautiful of all to man. Trust me on this. So the time to start is now. When you're young, you know, you say, well, I have my beauty. Great, you know, but there's a lot more to life than that. So work on being a godly woman. Be the best version of you that you can be.
Okay, so here's what we're going to do now. Now we're going to talk to two generations of girls. And I would say every one of these girls that we'll be at in a moment are godly girls. They're Proverbs 31 girls. They're wonder women. They won't have capes, I don't think. But they're going to come out here and I'm going to ask them some questions.
But as we're getting ready to do that, we're going to bring out our little desk here to interview them. We're going to show you a little film clip. And this is from a movie called Mom's Night Out. How many of you have seen Mom's Night Out? A great film. Directed by my friend John Irwin. And by the way, John is the director of the new film I'm working on about the life and conversion of Steve McQueen. So we've become good friends. And he directed this film and he had mentioned it to me many times and I'd never seen it. So I streamed it and watched it at home and loved it. And then my grandkids wanted to see it and they loved it. And I've seen it a few times.
But this is a scene from Mom's Night Out. And this is when this girl, this mother, young mother, is on her way to church. She's under a lot of pressure. She's not really being, not feeling all that appreciated. In fact, her little daughter does her mascara and it doesn't turn out so well. And so this is her going to church. And then a word of affirmation from her husband. So turn your attention to the screen.