Greg Laurie — How to Get a New Husband
So let's see what the scripture has to say about the role of the woman and specifically the wife in marriage. 1 Peter 3. I am reading from the new living translation by the way for this particular portion. "Wives, likewise be submissive to your own husbands, even those who refuse to accept the good news, your godly lives will speak to them better than any words. They will be won over by watching your pure godly behavior. Don't be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God". We will stop there. What do we learn here about getting a new husband?
1. Be the best version of you that you can be. First and foremost for a girl you want to be godly. You want to become a virtuous woman. I hope you have read proverbs 31 but if you haven't go read that later. It tells you all about what a woman of virtue looks like. By the way the word virtue, which also is the name of our women's ministry, virtue, is not purely a feminine word. I think we might think of it in a feminine context only. But in the Bible it is also used to describe men in certain instances. The word virtuous is a word that actually means purity, strength, force, and value. It doesn't mean weakness. It means purity, strength, force, and value. It speaks of a balanced woman who is strong in every way. She is a woman that is beautiful on the outside and also on the inside.
There is so little said about this in culture today. So much of the focus of all of the Women's Magazines that are out there are on your appearance. How to lose x amount of pounds by summer. How to have better sex. It is all on the outward. When is the last time on the cover of Cosmo or some other Women's Magazine you read this headline. How to be a godly girl: an in depth look at proverbs 31. Never-er-er and you never will see it. That is not the focus of culture today. It is all in the way that you look. As age kicks in some girls are frustrated by the fact that they don't look the way they used to look. They are a little bit concerned. A little bit worried about that. The pull of gravity is kicking in. Maybe your striking beauty is no longer there. Here is the thing. If you concentrate on being a beautiful woman on the inside as well as the outside you will be more attractive with the passing of years. Not less so.
There is something very special about a godly girl. That is why I think many times nonbelievers are attracted to christian women. They don't find those values in the other girls out there. They come to the christian woman. They see that virtue. They see that quality. They want that quality. Of course girls just a little word of advice. Don't ever hook up with an ungodly man. When you are looking for a guy if you are single you want to find one that loves the Lord. If you are already married to a guy that isn't as godly as you want him to be we will find out what you should do in this message right here.
The godly woman focuses primarily on the internal the spiritual but does not forget the external. Let me say that again. The godly woman focuses on the internal. The spiritual. But she does not forget about the external. The physical. It is interesting the word that used here in verse 3. Let your adornment not be merely outward. The word adornment is from the Greek word cosmos. We get our word cosmetic from it. Don't focus primarily on cosmetics. It doesn't say don't use them at all. Sometimes the question is asked should a christian girl wear make-up. Simple answer. If a house need painting, hey, paint it. This is not a put down of outward beauty. This is not a criticism of doing everything you can to be attractive. It is saying don't make that your primary focus.
Actually as you look in scripture you find that the Bible does not forbid women to look attractive. It even encourages it. The bride of Solomon in the song of Solomon 1:10 is described as a woman of beauty that wears beautiful clothing. The same is said in Proverbs 31:22 of the virtuous woman. God is not condemning a woman for dressing herself attractively. The criticism is being preoccupied with it. The criticism is don't only think about that. We can go too far on either side. We can be all about the spiritual and neglect the outward. Or we can be all about the outward and neglect the inward. We need to find the balance that is given to us in scripture.
Don't wait until you feel love. Do loving things. Don't wait until you feel respect. Show it in your actions. I heard about a woman that didn't want to be married anymore. She hated her husband. She went down to see a divorce attorney. She said, "I want to divorce him but I don't want to just divorce him. I want to hurt him. I want to devastate him. I want you to help me know how to do that". The attorney said, "Hmm I have an idea. How about this? For the next three months I want you to tell your husband how much you love him. Tell him how much you respect him. Smother with him with compliments. Just tell him about all of the great things you see in him. Do it for three months. He will be so built up and so encouraged. Then just drop it on him. I am divorcing you. It will hit him like a bombshell".
She says, evil laugh, "I like that". That is what she did for three months. Complimented him. Smothered him with affection. Told him how much she respected him. Now the three months are up. The attorney kept it on his calendar. He gave her a call. "It is time to file the papers for the divorce". She said, "Divorce? What are you talking about? We are going on our second honeymoon". What did she do? She just honored a simple biblical principle by respecting her husband.
3. Submit to the leadership of your husband. 1 Peter 3:1-2. "Wives, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear". Let's be honest. Nobody wants to submit to anyone in culture today. We are in a narcissistic me-first culture and we don't like the idea of submitting ourselves to any form of authority. So when we come to the Bible and read this word we don't like it. Let's understand something. We are all called to submit to God. Right. The Bible says, "Submit to God and resist the devil and he will flee from you". Also in the marriage husbands and wives are both called to submit to each other.
In an earlier message in this series I pointed out in Ephesians 5 how it says submit one to another in the reverence of God. So before a word is said to the wife about her submission to the husband we are told that both husband and wife should submit to one another. What does that mean? It means that you rank yourself under. It is a military term meaning that someone ranks over you. The husband says, "I am going to submit to her. I am going to support her. I am going to get underneath her and hold her up". She says the same thing for him. So first it starts with submission to God. Then mutual submission to one another.