Greg Ford - The Not Getting Picked Test
We’re gonna go back to Mark 3 today, 'Cause I wanna look at something else. We’re gonna go back to the same text we looked at, but we’re gonna look at it form a different angle. I wanna bring up verse 7 of Mark 3 real quick. Just so we have an orientation around what’s going on here. It says, in verse 7, «Jesus went out to the lake with his disciples, and a large crowd followed him». I say that, but could you just imagine a large crowd? If you’re in the same room with me right now, we have a large crowd. So, just imagine a bunch of people like this. «A large crowd of people followed him». Look at this, «And they came from all over».
This is the same text where we remember when Jesus uses a boat as a stage because there’s so many people so the crowd was gonna crush him, it was so big so, he’s teaching from a boat? That’s what going on. So, just imagine a whole bunch of people, and they’re all following Jesus. And it says in verse 13, «Afterward Jesus went up on a mountain and called out the ones he wanted to go with him. And they came to him. And then he appointed twelve of them and called them his apostles. They were to accompany him, and he would send them out to preach, giving them authority to cast out demons». So, there’s a bunch of people and Jesus looks at this crowd. Imagine this is not hard to imagine even if you’re here, look at this.
All these people here, imagine Jesus going, «You, you, you. No, not you, you, you, you». And he goes to twelve. He’s like, «That’s it, twelve». This message is for everybody who didn’t get picked. Have you ever not gotten picked? You ever not been picked? They’re picking up teams, «Take him, take him». You over there like, «I’ll take him, I’ll take him». And you don’t get picked. You’re standing there with what’s left of your pride. You’re like, «I got next». Ever not gotten picked? Cause by the way this not only affects, like when you don’t get picked, and by the way, if you’re here and you get picked, this is not for you. But when you don’t get picked it affects how you feel about yourself, it affects how you feel about other people, but it can also affect how you feel about God. What’s up with this I’m fearfully and wonderfully made stuff? God’s got a purpose for my life.
You know, we’re singing all these songs about, you know, «Wait till you see what God has man, he’s about to blow your mind». Something like that. And so, you’re talking about it, but I keep not getting picked. What do you do when you’re not getting picked? I’m gonna give you some stuff to wrestle with. I’mma give you some questions to pray about. I’m not gonna close the loop for you, I’m gonna open the loop today. And then you and God can close it together. Because you might be sitting next to someone who’s also not getting picked, and your action step, and their action step might be different. So, I’m gonna give you prayers to pray, and questions to ask, and then you and the Lord will figure out the action. Okay? But I wanna set a foundation, a couple things.
Number one, I think one of the catastrophic mistakes that we make, that often causes us unnecessary disorientation is that we confuse purpose and significance with rank and recognition. Okay? Purpose and significance, we confuse those things with rank and recognition. And you have to understand that purpose and significance are not necessarily equal to rank and recognition, and it’s really hard to unlearn that because we live in a culture with cultural pressures, and we live in systems and environments where there is a hierarchy and there is an org chart, and there is a pay scale, pay structure, and certain people get to park in this lot, and then others don’t. And then certain people work on this floor and others don’t, and there’s a podium, first, second, third, fourth, fifth.
You didn’t even get on the podium. And so we have all that, and you gotta learn to live in that without allowing that to demoralize you or to actually calibrate you to thinking that way, that the only way I can be successful, the only way I can be significant or live a life of purpose is if I’m ranked highly, and I’m highly recognized. You gotta delink the two of those things because you’re gonna find that God isn’t as interested in your rank and recognition as maybe your boss is, or the environment that you live in. You gotta work outside of that system. So, often we end up getting upset with God because, «Lord, within this structure how come you’re not maneuvering me in a significant enough way? The places I wanna be».
And so, we think maybe that God doesn’t value us. You gotta delink. You’ve got to delink. Delink significance and purpose with rank and recognition, and to know the difference between the two. What I wanna give you here is the tension to wrestle with. 'Cause I think sometimes we preach two plus two equals four and sometimes those principles are applicable, but often it’s a something that we need to sit in and ask ourselves. Okay? And so, here’s what I’mma give you, the first question, when you don’t get picked for something, and it doesn’t fit you, I want you to ask this question. The first question is this, «Does this not fit because it’s not designed for me? Or does it not fit because I haven’t grown into it yet»?
That’s an important question to ask. Does this not fit because it’s not designed for me? Or does it not fit because I have not grown into it yet? This is really, really important to pray, and wrestle, and allow the Lord to give you Revelation because these are two completely different action steps, depending on that answer. So, we would applaud somebody who had the self-awareness and the self-confidence to see something prestigious or something that appeared to be significant and would say, «I’m not going to do that 'Cause that I’m not designed for that. That’s not part of my divine design. God didn’t make me that way, to do that thing. So, I’m not even gonna go for it, I’m not gonna be jealous of those who are. I’m gonna celebrate those who do, but that’s not my design so, I’m not going there».
We would call that self-awareness. Sometimes it’s hard to get there by the way when you feel the emotional feelings of rejection, of not getting picked. So for some of you, when you don’t get picked for something important, or it feels like, you know, God didn’t select me for that or whatever, you end up feeling all of those rejection feelings. And the feelings of rejection are so visceral and deep that it keeps you from actually having the presence of mind to step back and go, «You know, it’s probably really not a good fit for me anyway. Why am I craving that so badly»? And this is a tough one man, you gotta sit there for a minute. Because think about this, these two competing ideas. One is we would admire someone that says, «That’s not designed for me,» but then we would also say like, «You’re a work in progress, so, don’t just disqualify yourself from stuff 'Cause it doesn’t fit. Maybe it doesn’t fit yet».
It may not be a design issue, it might be a development issue that if you’ll stay with it. You’re not gonna know unless you stay with it. 'Cause we would say, on one hand, «Accept who God’s made you to be, and accept who you are,» but on the other hand, we would say, «Don’t just accept who you are, you’re not who you’re gonna be». Right? We would say both of 'em. Matthew, the writer of Matthew, were introduced to him in Mark 2, when he’s a tax collector, but we’re really introduced to him in the book of Matthew when he’s an author. He wasn’t ready to be an author, a gospel writer in Mark 2, he was a work in progress. The role didn’t fit him in Mark 2, but it wasn’t a design issue, it was a development issue.
So, I don’t have an answer for you because if it’s not your design, if it’s not your design, the answer is get out. No shame, it’s not for you, it’s for somebody else, God bless. If it’s a development issue then, you’ve got to stay in it 'Cause it doesn’t fit you yet. You remember when you were a kid and you were growing? You ever take a growing kid shopping? You don’t buy them what fits them, right? Your 13 year old son goes and tries something on. He’s like, «Oh, this is great. It fits like a glove». You’re like, «No, that’s not it, take it off. I work too hard for my money. We’re gonna size up». Depending on how fast he’s growing you might size up twice, okay? «We’re gonna get you something you can grow into, okay»?
How many you, c’mon, how many of you remember? C’mon. Remember this? Some of you need to be reintroduced to this. But no, remember how good this felt when you were a kid? You were a growing kid? You showed up at the shoe store you were like. «I’ve been eating my wheaties, baby. Yeah, I’ve been sleeping good, I’ve been working out». Go ahead. They get on, oh, man wasn’t that good though? They’d be like, «Oh you’re an eight». You’re like, «Dang right I’m an eight». They start saying stuff to your mom like, «What are you feeding that kid»? You’re like, «Yeah, yeah, miracle grow baby, yeah, I’m at it. Wait till you see me next time». So you take those size eights, and you’re playing ball, and you’re, you know, you’re tearing up the soles. And now it’s time we gotta go back to foot locker. You show up at foot locker like, «Yeah, I’m back». They’re like, «Oh, you’re a ten and a half now». You’re like, «You ain’t seen nothing yet. I still got some growing left to do».
And they kept move, remember how good it felt to grow? Remember how good it felt to size up, and you grew into it? Here’s what happens, we know how our bodies work, our bodies are on a bell curve. You’re born, you grow, you plateau, you decline, you die. That’s a summary of what happens. I know it’s blunt, but that’s just what happens. Hopefully, it’s not a shocker. That’s what happens. Paul says in 2 Corinthians, «Though our bodies are bell curving, our bodies are plateauing, and declining, our spirits are being renewed every day».
So, at some point, I knew I was an 11, it’s been a long time since I’ve been on one of these. Chances are you hadn’t seen one of these in decades dude, 'Cause you already know what size you are. And once you know what size you are you just buy that same size every single time. And of course, it’s true for your foot, it’s true for your clothing, but it should not be true of your attitude, it should not be true of your mindset, it should not be true of your spirit, it should not be true of your conflict skill, it should not be true of how you do relationship, of your faith, of your spiritual life, you should be renewed every day. You should be sizing up. But often we go, «Oh no, I’m an eleven,» and you put something on that doesn’t fit.
The problem is it’s time for you to grow again, get this back out, size back up. Your body quit growing, your spirit is new, you need to grow in, I know I’m talking to somebody 30, 40, 50, 60 years old, 70 years old. God’s trying to do a new thing in you. Don’t just go, «It doesn’t fit me, this doesn’t fit me». You gotta grow into it. It might not be a design issue, it might be a development issue. So, don’t fall into this like this is the old school, this is old time, long time ago I quit growing. For some of you it’s time, God wants to reignite some growth. You gotta size up, put something on, it doesn’t fit, yet. It might not be designed for you, if it is not designed for you walk away, but if it is, you just need to develop into it, you gotta stay with it. Look at this, oh man, this is a good one here.
Okay, think about this now. Go to Acts 1. If you have your Bible go to Acts 1. Watch this, in Mark 3, bunch of people, Jesus picks 12. Okay, picks 12. Names them, Simon Peter, Andrew, James, John, Philip, Thomas, Matthew, James, the son of Alphaeus, Thaddeus, Simon, Judas, Bartholomew. Twelve of 'em okay? What happens? Bunch of people, keep reading, bunch of people leave. «I didn’t get picked. I didn’t get picked so I’m outta here». By the way, oftentimes when you don’t get picked your real motives are revealed. «I didn’t get picked, didn’t get the apostle role. Didn’t bother to ask why, I just didn’t get it. Now, I’m hurt, I’m out».
They leave, bunch of people leave, but a bunch of people stay. And they stay, and they stay through thick and thin, they stay when Jesus is teaching stuff that they don’t understand, but they stay. They stay when Jesus gets arrested, they stay when Jesus gets crucified, they stay when Jesus resurrects. In between Jesus crucifixion and resurrection one of his disciples became so hopeless, and grieved that he took his own life, Judas. So, they go from 12 to 11 apostles. Jesus in Acts 1 ascends, and look what happens in Acts 1 after he ascends, it says in verse 12 «The apostles returned to Jerusalem the Mount of Olives, a distance of half a mile. When they arrived, they went up to the upstairs room of the house where they were staying. And here’s the name of those present». And then it names everyone except Judas.
So, 11 out of 12. Verse 14. «They all met together and were constantly united in prayer along with many», I’m sorry, «Along with Mary the mother of Jesus, and several other women, and the brothers of Jesus». Verse 15, «During this time there were about 120 believers were together in one place». So it gives a number, about 120. So think back, Mark 3, bunch of people, Jesus picks 12, bunch leave, 120 stay. A hundred and twenty make it to Acts 1. Watch this, verse 21, «They decide to pick Judas’s replacement. We must now choose a replacement for Judas».
Now look what it says next, don’t miss this, here it is, here’s the punch line, «We must choose a replacement for Judas from among the men who were with us the entire time we were traveling with the Lord Jesus». A new opportunity has emerged. Somebody was designed for it in Mark 3, but wasn’t ready for it. And a bunch got so down and out that they left the crew, but a few stayed and now the opportunity has re-emerged in a new season. Listen, think sowing and reaping, some of you are reaping right now, things you don’t like. If you don’t like what you’re reaping right now, start sowing differently right now. 'Cause there’s gonna be a new opportunity down the road. You’re not ready for this one, but do you want to be ready for the next one? A group of people decided not to leave, so, in Mark 3 they weren’t developed enough, in Acts 1 they were.
So, this says this verse 22. «We want someone from the time that he was baptized by John, until he was taken away from us. Whoever is chosen will join us as a witness of Jesus' resurrection». New opportunity, verse 23, «They nominated two men, Joseph called Barabbas, also known as Justus, and Matthias». Watch this, they pray, verse 24, «Oh Lord, you know every heart,» you see what we don’t see, «Show us which of these men you have chosen». Jesus didn’t choose him in Mark 3. God’s about to choose him in Acts 1. What kind of life you wanna live? Verse 25, «As an apostle to replace Judas for this ministry». It’s about to be somebody’s time. «For he has deserted us,» Judas has deserted us, «And has gone where he belongs». Verse 26, «So they cast lots, and Matthias was selected to become an apostle with the other 11».
Matthias is the unsung hero, Matthias is the guy that didn’t leave in Mark 3. Some of you are so down because you feel so offended, and you feel so hurt, and you feel so crushed by the fact you didn’t get picked, that you’ve lost energy, you’ve lost steam, you’ve lost hope, you’re not working hard anymore. You put it down, why? 'Cause I feel so, I’m upset at God and everybody else 'Cause I didn’t get picked. And Matthias said, «I wasn’t ready today, but I bet I’ll be ready when the time comes». And because of that he stuck around, and he kept developing, and in due season the opportunity re-emerged and God picked him. That can be you. You don’t like what you’re reaping right now, sow differently.
I think this is another tension we have to wrestle with is, depending on who you are I think both nature and nurture, we when it comes to our lives, and our work, and our purpose, everything we do, I think you need to ask yourself, «Am I taking my work too seriously, or not seriously enough? Am I taking it too seriously, or not seriously enough»? I think sometimes we can take ourselves, and our work, and our purpose too seriously. That you’ve got the weight of the world on you, and you think everything rises and falls on you.
And so, I think if you take it too seriously, when you don’t get picked it creates such a weight on you, it’s so overwhelming and discouraging that it’s hard to be buoyant and to bounce back. But I also think it’s a mistake when you do get picked to take it too seriously. «I’m an apostle, I was picked. You see that big crowd of people? They only picked 12. I don’t know if you were counting, but they only picked 12 and I’m one of them». Well, hold on a second now, be careful you don’t take all of this too seriously 'Cause look what’s about to happen. Jesus picks 12, and pretty soon he’s going to isolate three in his inner circle. Bartholomew is not there, Thomas is not there, Andrew’s not there, Andrew was part of the original four. Peter, James, John, and Andrew. And yet at a certain point Andrew doesn’t get pulled into the inner circle, into the executive team.
My whole point is this your life’s really important, but it ain’t that important, but it’s real important, but it’s not that important, but it’s important, but not that important. You gotta sit in the tension, you gotta sit in the middle of that. What you’re doing is really, really important, and you ought to take it seriously. Treat it like life and death, whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, treat it like it’s the most important thing on planet earth, but don’t walk out with the weight of the world on you, cause here’s the thing, if you overvalue it, or you take it too seriously, when you don’t get picked you go into the valley of despair, but when you do get picked if you take it too seriously, you won’t know when to let go when it’s somebody else’s time. Wouldn’t even know who you are without it.
So, you got to sit in that tension, are you taking it too seriously, or not seriously enough? I’ll give you this last thing. When you think about your passion and your drive are you mostly driven by the results of the work or by the nature of the work? By the results of the work or by the nature of the work? Think about that, all the way back in Mark 3 Jesus picked a group of people based on the nature of the work. «Calling 12 of you to be apostles». «Cool man, what does that mean»? «You’ll be my emissary». «What’s the work look like»? «We’re gonna be on boats a lot». So he called fishermen. «We’re gonna be hated a lot». He called a tax collector. He’s pulling a team together based on the nature of the work, and I think oftentimes, we get so fixated on the nature of the results, or the results of the work, which, hey, be results, I’m a results guy. You should care about results.
But also to understand that God has designed you and wired you for results, but also to enjoy and to love the nature of the work. I was talking a guy recently, young cat, 22 years old, 22 years old and he works in tech. I was asking about his job, «Man, what do you do»? «Oh, I work in tech». I was like, «Oh man, tell me about it». And he just told me a bunch of stuff, I didn’t understand any of it. I had no clue. But he was talking about it, his eyes were wide, you know, and I said, 22 years old, I sharp, sharp guy. I said, «Hey man, you like your job»? He goes, «I love my job». And it shocked me honestly, the way he said it, 'Cause he said it with such conviction. He’s like, «I love my», didn’t hesitate. That’s not usually the response I get to that question, frankly.
Most of the time I ask people if they like their job, their voice goes up an octave, I’m like, «Do you like your job»? They’re like, «I mean. I mean it’s cool. You know, it got me». I mean, this bro was like from the diaphragm, he’s like, «I love my job». So now, I got curious man, I started like quizzing him. I was like «Man, what do you love about your job»? And like this, the most insightful answer. He goes, «I work on a team, when they give us a problem it’s 'Cause no one else can figure it out, so they give it to us». He goes, «And we never know what to do. And we get it, and none of us know what to do, but we stay with it, and we work together, and eventually we figure it out». And he goes, «I just love the 'aha moment' when we figure it out».
Twenty-two years old. I was like, I said, «Hey bro listen, I don’t usually give unsolicited advice to people, but you mind if I hop in»? He’s like, «Yeah man sure». I said, «Listen man, you just stumbled on a beautiful thing man. The divine design that God’s given you, that’s part of your quality of life». I said, «Bro if they offer you some crazy promotion, double the pay, great office, company car». I don’t know what the perks are these days, whatever they wanna, «You need to find out are you gonna keep being able to do that. Are you going to get that aha. 'Cause that’s the nature of the work. Whatever they wanna pay you will not make up for your ability to do that. God’s put that in you, that provokes you to your best self».
So, you want to find both things you believe in the purpose of the work, you believe in the result of the work, but also the nature of the work. Oftentimes we end up getting passed up for something, maybe that one or the other. We love the nature of the work, or we love the result of the work, and for some reason the door didn’t open, and we’re upset with God, and we feel bad about ourselves. And the reality is God is moving you towards something where both the nature of the work, this is part of your purpose, this is part of your sweet spot, is that the both the nature of the work, and the results of the work are things that you deeply believe in to get you in your best spot. Don’t shed tears over being passed over or something that doesn’t fit you right, but you got to wrestle with this.
«Why am I so upset about being passed over, and why did I get passed over? Was it a character thing? Is it a development thing? Am I confusing rank and recognition with significance and purpose? Was I more attracted to the recognition of that thing than I was to the work itself? What is it»?
I don’t have answers man, you and God have to close the loop. Bring these questions to him. But for some of you here’s what I’mma tell you, the fact you didn’t get picked is the best thing that ever happened to you. 'Cause the fact you didn’t get picked kept you from being distracted by the next promotion. And it’s in the demotion, or the delay, or being passed over that’s going to cause you to bring this to the Lord, and to get to some real peace. Some real clarity, to come out of the disorientation.