Derek Grier - When Everyone Abandons You
Open your Bibles to 2 Timothy chapter one, and we are gonna begin with verse 15. «This you know,» now, Emperor Nero had just blamed Christians for the Great Fire of Rome. It was a four day fire that killed about 12,000 people. Legend says that Nero actually started this fire himself, and he did this so that he could bypass the Senate and not need their approval to rebuild Rome after his own image. Nero also knew that the apostles preached that God would one day judge the world with fire. And this, you know, was a new revelation, at least to unbelievers. And yeah, Judaism understood something of this, but because of this preaching that was spreading throughout the Roman Empire, it was really easy to blame the apostles for inciting the fire. But bullies are cowards typically underneath it all.
The Bible says, «this you know,» meaning everyone was talking about what had just transpired and actually what Paul is about to write about. Christians had been taken to the stadiums and they were often, fur was put on them and they were eaten alive by dogs. Some people were publicly crucified on the streets just like their Jesus. Others were beaten and then dipped with pitching. And oil was poured on them, and they burned as candles in Nero’s Garden at night. All to cover up Nero’s crime. Everyone was talking about it. And every Christian was afraid of what might happen next. He said «this you know, that all those,» everybody, «in Asia have turned away from me».
Now, no one at this point wanted to be associated with public enemy number one. Miracles and no miracles, man of God or no man of God, people were like, I love God and everything, but you know what? This serving Jesus is way too dangerous. It’s being associated with the church and the apostles is costing me potentially or will cost me too much. You know, some people will drop you the very moment that you’re not useful anymore. It said «all those,» now again, Paul is speaking from his heart. I know we’re reading this as scripture, but Paul is sharing this testimony with his mentee and his dear friend, a son in the faith, Timothy, and he says this to him. «All those in Asia have turned away from me».
Now, if you read the book of Acts you’ll see that Paul spent most of his ministry in Asia. He built the Church of Antioch. Well, at least he was part of the building of the Church of Antioch. But he literally founded the church at Ephesus Iconium, Lister, Derby, Philippi, Thessalonica, Corinth just to name a few. And it was the people in Asia or the province of Asia, not the continent, the province of Asia, where actually the reason Asia’s called Asia today is because a major part of what is called Asia today was Asia of the ancient Roman Empire. But it was the people from Asia, from Turkey, and Greece in that area that knew him best and he had served the longest, but now all of them were keeping him at arm’s length. And you knew that this must have stung the apostle. And then he says, «among whom are Phygellus and Hermogenes».
Now, these were very well known Christian leaders. That’s why he could just mention their first names there. These were people that Timothy and others would have least expected. You see, it’s one thing for people new in the faith to turn away from you, but when seasoned leaders do that, it’s a whole other thing. But watch what Paul does, he says «but the Lord grant mercy to the household of Onesiphorus». Now, in this situation, again, a whole, you know, let’s enlarge. A whole continent, I mean, the people that were dearest to the Apostle Paul had literally turned their backs on him. But I want you to notice that he refused to focus just on the bad things. He said, «may the Lord grant mercy to the household of Onesophorus».
Even in a bad situation, there’s always a bright side. Even if you can’t see it yet. Then it goes on in the midst, you know, all of Asia forsook me. But then there was this light shining in darkness, there was a star in the dark sky. For Onesophorus, «he often,» what? «Refreshed me». As bad as it gets, God always has a remnant and there will always be at least a few people that God can use to encourage you and to bless you and to move you on. «And he was not ashamed of my chains».
Now, some people will only do the right things when when it’s absolutely required. Now, you know, Onesophorus, he could have very easily been killed for just associating with an enemy of the state, the Apostle Paul. But he didn’t use this as an excuse and he did not let it stop him. Now, I don’t know, I’m really not sure. I don’t know if in life we lose friends over time or we just really find out who our real friends are. I’m not sure, but time has a way of showing us who is really really for us and with us. «But when he arrived in Rome,» meaning he came from Asia where he was in prison, «he sought me out very zealously». Despite the personal risk, he searched wholeheartedly and he left no stone unturned.
You know, all of us need a man like this Onesophorus in our lives. His name by the way, literally means to bring a prophet. And we wanna be people that bring value to the lives of those we love. And he was true to his name. And the Bible goes on and says, and Paul is speaking, «and he found me». He faced every excuse to give up, but he would not give up until his friend was found. You know, true friend is not about being there when it’s convenient, it’s about being there when it’s not. And then he said, «the Lord grant to him,» again a whole region of the world had turned its back on Paul. But he’s focusing on the one man who didn’t. «The Lord grant him that he may find mercy from the Lord in that day».
You know, I’ve grown old enough in my faith, I’m not wasting time praying for the Lord to reward my enemies. I am praying for God to reward my friends. You know, some things are just too short to repay in a single lifetime. So God in his wisdom promises us to reward us not only in this life, but also in the age to come because it’s just too big for this life. «And you know,» speaking of Timothy, «very well how many ways he ministered to me at Ephesus».
Ephesus, again, was in Asia. Timothy is the pastor of the church in Asia. And again, he’s celebrating. Yeah, everyone else had left him, but there is this shining a star. But what we see about this man, Onesophorus, was that he had the spirit of excellence about him where he served Paul at home the same way as he did at Rome. He served him with excellence when it was easy just like when it got hard. You know, quality really doesn’t depend on the circumstances. Quality people can’t help but do quality things. So if you are a quality person, you’re just gonna do quality things. 2 Timothy four and nine. Paul circles back.
Now listen, 2 Timothy is the last letter that Paul writes, and you know, last words are very, very important. So he begins a letter by encouraging Timothy and Timothy’s facing problems, and in the first chapter, he’s like, yeah, Timothy you have some problems, but lemme tell you about my problems. All of Asia deserted me. And then he speaks some truth to him but then he begins to wrap up the letter with some final words. And this is where we’re gonna pick up. Verse nine, he says to Timothy, and this is why we need friends. «Be diligent to come to me quickly». I remember, well actually, it was just this week, a friend said to me, «even the best men are men at best. And we need to manage our expectation».
You know, Paul was no superhero. He still needed companionship. He still needed encouragement. He still needed support. He still needed brotherly love. He still needed company like everyone else. I don’t care how great the person is or how great the person thinks he is. The reality is we all need encouragement. We all need company. We all need forgiveness. We all need support just like anyone else. Verse 10. Now Paul, though, you know, some people that get so positive they don’t talk about anything bad. You’re weird to me. You know, we gotta talk about the good and talk about the bad. But what’s awesome about God is the good will outweigh the bad. But he, again, he speaks the truth and he said, listen, I’m gonna tell you the facts. Everything is not always hunky dory. Everything’s not just wonderful all the time. Sometimes I face real stuff. Sometimes you’re gonna face real stuff, Timothy, and let me tell you what happened. He said, «For Demas has forsaken me».
Now in Philemon, I think it’s around verse 24, Paul calls Demas a co-laborer, it depends on the translation, or a fellow minister. And he listed his name right next to Luke, the writer of the gospel of Luke, and the man we’re gonna discover in a moment that was with Paul in chains. Demas was a man of repute, an individual that had a great reputation. He was a big deal. But there are three reasons why we get disappointed.
Number one, the wrong person, number two, the wrong expectation, or number three that there’s a much needed lesson to learn. And this was all going on. God is teaching us through Demas and through Paul that everything that glitters is not golden. Just because you start doesn’t necessarily mean you’re gonna finish. And then he goes on and explains, and he speaks the truth. He loves Demas, but he’s not, you know, recoiling or not backing up for sharing the truth about Demas. He says, «having loved this present world,» literally the present age, it’s not 'cosmos, ' it’s 'Ionia.' So this Demas was used by God, but in the end it was all about what was in it for him. And when the stakes got too high, he backed away. And he says that this Demas «has departed for Thessalonica».
Demas abandoned Paul. Now Crescens and Titus only left Paul, as you read the rest of that verse, you know, they may look alike, but leaving is one thing but deserting somebody is something else. Then he says the verse 11, «only Luke is with me». Paul was in a dark squalid, we’ve covered this in the past, prison. You did not want to be in a Roman prison. Even today, you don’t want to be in many Middle Eastern prisons. But Luke, the physician, stayed by his side and was actually incarcerated alongside him even in the filthy circumstances and in the filthy prisons. You know, snowflakes are one of nature’s most fragile phenomena. But what they can do when they stick together.
You know, to God, us sticking together is a literally beautiful thing. And you know, one snowflake and another snowflake and another snowflake and another snowflake, before long you begin to see a snowball. He said, «Get Mark and bring him with you for he is useful to me for ministry». Now, this was the guy, if you know your bible, that deserted Paul in Barnabas in Acts 15. But what’s wonderful is by the end of Paul’s life, God had restored the relationship. This is a guy that at one time had lost his testimony. People did not think highly of Mark. They thought he was soft. They thought that he didn’t have the stuff to do the work of ministry. But God not only restored Mark, he restored Mark and Paul’s relationship, which is so important. You know, a good apology has three parts. Number one, I’m sorry. Number two, it’s my fault.
Number three, what can I do to make it right? Paul obviously accepted Timothy’s apology and together they moved on. And sometimes, you know, that’s what it’s gonna require to move relationships forward. Be quick to repent, be quick to forgive, be quick to say you’re sorry, and watch how much longer you’re able to stay in relationships. Verse 12. «And Tychicus I have sent to Ephesus». Now this may not be so plain, but as you watch what’s unfolding here in these verses Paul had such confidence in Timothy that he literally sent Tychicus to relieve Timothy, to fill in for Timothy, even for before Timothy agreed to leave. So again, they can’t pick up the phone, you know, there’s no text. None of that is going on. So he sends Tychicus probably with this letter, I’m not quite sure, to Timothy expecting Timothy to do exactly what Paul believed in his heart he would do.
Now, what I wanna say here though, and when I read this, it kind of pricked my own heart. Paul experienced a lot of pain in his life, a lot of disappointment. He’s in the middle of heartbreak. I mean, he loved the people of Asia, all those churches, all those faces when this last time with the elders of Ephesus they cried by the river. I mean, they had deep relation, years of ministry, years of investment. It’s so easy to get bitter. It’s so easy not to see the good. It’s so easy to to to just see the wrong and expect the worst in people. But Paul, in prison, the worst of human situations, he still saw the best in his mentee, Timothy. And my prayer and my prayer for you and my prayer for me is that we we can maintain that heart where we can believe the very best for those we love.
Verse 16. «At my first defense no one stood with me, but all forsook me». Now, forsake or forsook here is a very, very strong word. It means to abandon someone when they need you the most. It’s not just leaving. This is forsaking. Has anyone been left high and dry? Ever been left in a lurch? Ever been up the creek? Ever been left holding the bag? Paul looked around the courtroom while he was being accused of the fires of Rome and all the other ugly things, being an enemy of the state and not loving people, wanting to destroy. 12,000 people died. I want you to imagine being held responsible nationally and publicly for the death.
This is a guy who traveled around the world trying to save lives, trying to bring value to lives, and you being charged with the death of 12,000 people and the destruction of an entire city. And he looked around the courtroom and no one was there except Luke. Imagine what he felt. But watch these next verses. «All forsook me». So God kill him, get 'em, cut 'em down. No. He says he learned from Jesus. «May it not be charged against them». As bad as it was, Paul didn’t get bitter. And it’s this next verse though that I really wanted to get to with you this morning. «May it not be held against him». Whole province of Asia.
Verse 17, «but the Lord». Yeah, people did things, but the Lord. Yeah, people didn’t do things, but the Lord. Yeah, people should have known better than turn their backs on Paul, but the Lord. Yeah, it gets dark and lonely in prison, but the Lord. Yeah, you’re facing some problems, but the Lord. Yeah, things didn’t go the way you planned, but the Lord. This was, again, this is the last letter he’s gonna write. And you see his heart in the midst of this rat infested prison. «But the Lord stood with me». Everyone else may abandon me, but if the Lord is on my side. «But the Lord stood with me».
I recognize what they did, but it doesn’t compare to what God’s still doing in my life. You know, when Jesus walked, I’m sorry, when Peter walked on the water, Jesus walked on the water too. Peter’s whole goal was to get to Jesus. And a lot of times we talk about visions and goals and all the rest. You know, we could become so wonkish about it, we kind of miss the point. My whole goal in life and hopefully yours is to get to wherever Jesus is. If Jesus is in business, I want to be in business. If Jesus is in ministry for me, I want to be in ministry. If Jesus is in academia, I want to be in academia. If Jesus is in that relationship, I want to be in that relationship. If Jesus is not in that relationship, I don’t wanna be in that relationship. I just want to be wherever Jesus is.
You know, the only reason Grace Church has made it to where it’s made it? Not 'cause I’m great, not because I’m smart, because we’re walking toward Jesus. Jesus said, «come». And as we come, we just say, «Lord, we are not just trying to get big. We not just trying to get more people for the sake of more people. It’s all about wherever you are». And we have gone after Jesus with our whole heart wherever he leads us, wherever he takes us that’s where we go. So it’s not just about the goal, it’s about the Jesus in the goal. And I’ll tell you one other thing. If God ever said, «listen, I have life for you outside of ministry,» I would leave it in the heartbeat because I only want to be where Jesus is.
That’s where the joy is. In his presence is fullness of joy. That’s where the peace is. You know, he’s the God of peace. And as you do that you will find fulfillment because you could climb that ladder, you know, of accomplishment and achievement, but many of us are gonna look back on our lives and realize, you know what? We did get to the top of that ladder, but that ladder was against the wrong building and all that we accomplished really led us nowhere. My hope is at the top of that ladder, I look at the Lord Jesus Christ and he says, «well done my good and faithful servant». He says, «at my first defense, no one stood with me. All forsook me». But then he said, «may it not be charged against them, because it’s the Lord who stood with me. And he,» what? «Strengthened me».
My Bible said the Lord is my strength. Not the people. Not everybody in Asia, not everybody in Prince William County not everyone in Virginia, not everyone in America, it said, «the Lord is my strength and my shield». The Bible goes on and says the Lord, in Psalm 2071 «is my light and my salvation». It is the Lord who arms us with power. It is the Lord that surrounds us with favor like a shield. The psalm says in 27:1, «though an army encamps against me, my heart shall not fear. The war rise up against me. I shall be confident, because my hope is in the Lord».
Put your hope in the Lord. Not in things, not in stuff, not in accomplishments, not in achievements, but in the Lord. And all I want to do is achieve that which God has assigned me to achieve. I don’t want to reach one person more or one person less. I don’t want to be here one day longer than God’s presence is with me on this earth. And if somehow God would leave me to him, like, Lord take me with you wherever you are, because my whole goal in life is to be with him. But watch what Paul says here. He says, all this happened, «God was with me and he strengthened me». Not because I’m great, because I’m the great apostle Paul. You know, people didn’t think he was great then by the way. A lot of people didn’t like Paul then.
Now we understand his greatness. But watch his purpose. «So that the message might be preached fully through me». See, his message was not him. It was a message being preached through him about the Christ. «And that all the Gentiles might hear». Just like all of us who have gotten behind this vision, Paul’s life was bigger than his disappointments. It was about getting this message to a dying world.