Derek Grier - Getting Over Myself - Part 2
How many believe God's omniscient, omnipresent and, yeah. Yeah. So omniscient means you know everything, everything. So God don't even have to think. We have to think, uh, no God knows. That's, I don't even know how to do that. I don't know what that is. But God is omniscient, omnipotent, omnipotent and omniscient. But with this omniscience, I want you to think about this. God loved me before I was me. So there's nothing after becoming me that can stop him from loving me. Let me say that different. God loved you before you were you so there's nothing you can after becoming you that can stop him from loving you.
So there's no point in trying to hide anything from somebody that already knows. And if he already saw your worst day but loved you anyway, there should be a freedom and a liberty. He knew everything you do, every bad day you have and he loved you, he called you by name and then he called you, said call me Father and you are my son, you are my daughter. But Paul keeps digging in, man, he didn't let up. "For the will is present with me but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do but the evil I will not to do that I practice".
That's an ancient way of saying Murphy's Law is right on my heels. Whatever can go wrong keeps going wrong in my life. And then to give you a break, I'm going to skip a little bit. For the next few verses he describes the misery that he had to deal with along as he had a big I in his life. As long as he was fighting these battles on his own. But verse 24 is the breaking point. And sometimes it takes an overwhelming breakdown before you can have an undeniable breakthrough. Paul's finally at the end of himself, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. Finally he's on his knees. He's a Jewish man, he's probably tearing his garment, throwing dirt up in the air. Oh, wretched man that I am.
The gulf between God's demands and the ability of the flesh will make you holler. It'll make you scream. It'll make you pull out your hair, but this word wretched is not a put down the way you would think. In the Greek it connotes tiredness. It's a word that speaks of utter exhaustion. And what he was saying is God I'm tired. I'm exhausted trying to live this life and be this man for you, this woman that I wanna be, God. Oh, wretched, I'm exhausted, I'm tired. But when you're tired the answer is to learn to rest in him, not to quit. And because he didn't quite, we have these chapters. "Oh, wretched man that I am".
I'm not all that. Yeah, I was schooled by Gamaliel, according to the law blameless. Yeah, I was a Pharisee of Pharisees. Yeah, I exceeded all the young men of my age. I was going somewhere. I was part of the Sanhedrin. It's powerful but God I'm tired. God, I can't do it. And you think that God was shaking his head and saying Paul, I'm so, so disappointed in you, Paul. I had so much more hope for you, Paul. I thought you'd do better, Paul. No, God was saying finally, Paul.
Some of you in this room tired, thinking maybe God's disappointed. God's like finally. I been waiting for this. I've been working. I've been letting stuff happen for this moment because I don't require all that from you. Let me help. I don't need your help. Okay, okay, okay. Everyday, I'm gonna talk about the blindness of you and I. I can't breathe unless there's oxygen surrounding me. I don't even, H2O, that's about as much as I know about. Don't know much about. I just know everyday I need it. Can't figure it out, don't understand. Just every day before I even knew H2O or oxygen, I knew I needed it.
So I wake up every morning needing air. Every day I wake up wanting food, needing food and if I go too many days without food, I stop being me. I wake up everyday needed water. If I don't get water for just a short period of time, I'm done. Everything about me and you, I'm saying me so I wouldn't offend you but, you, too. Says we are creaturely. We live in need. Only God has always been. Only God is complete in himself. Only God needs no other. But we stand up as creaturely as we are, tired, gotta sleep at all. God don't slumber, God don't sleep. I mean, we gotta sleep, we need a certain temperature. If it gets too cold, we're a mess, if it's too hot, we're a mess. But God.
But somehow, we think we don't need nothing. We don't need God. We don't need, everything about us says we have need and we live in a delusion trying to prove I'm my own man, I'm my own woman. I can do this on my own. God's like, well, you just gonna be tire till you get this figure out. There's no other God beside me. And you are creature, I am creator, you need me. And I need you to finally let the light bulb go off in your head, you're not all that. Matter of fact, I'm gonna let life prove that to you because I've been telling you but you're not listening. You need me. That doesn't make you less. It's just the way it is and recognizing it just makes you wise.
But Paul could very easily get puffed up, remember the schools he went to, Gamaliel. Thinking about his status in the nation when he walked in the room people stood up and they bowed and think about all that he accomplished and you could start to forget. And Paul had all these I's, you know, I myself, I. His problem was he was so smart. His problem was he was so powerful and some of your problems is you're so smart and you're so powerful and just powerful enough for you to delude yourself to think you don't have to go God's way, that you don't need the only one who loves you.
I don't just want God. Wanting God's a bonus, I need him. I need him. Proverbs says it this way, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom". I respect that fact that I have needs and I'm learning in my older age not to deny them and I wish as a younger man, I could have admitted how much I needed God. He said, "Oh, wretched man that I am". Till you get tired of doing it on your own. Until you get tired of second guessing God. Until you realize, "maybe I'm not as smart. Maybe I'm not as powerful. Maybe I'm not as deserving as I once thought".
Watch this, though. "O wretched man that I am who". The answer was not a three-step plan from the latest guru. But the answer was not an I, me, my, myself, but who. You see the problem is not that you don't speak well enough. You're not motivated enough. You don't know yourself well enough. You didn't need a speech therapist, a coach or a doctor, you needed a Savior.
And when he switched from all them I's to who will deliver me. I can't, I tried, who outside myself, who beyond myself, who? He looked up to the, who will deliver me from this body of death. Now that statement's blind to us because we live in a different age but what they would do back then is if you were a murderer they would often chain the body of your victim to you as your punishment. So as that body decomposed you carried the weight of that body on you wherever you went, I mean, you tried to lay down and it's sleeping next to you and I tell you, after three or four days, man, and give it a couple weeks, that's some strong stuff and not only does it smell bad and the decomposition but it's also disease attached to it.
"Who will deliver me from this body of death"? You see, the reason they chained that body to the criminal, convict, whatever you want to call him was to remind him of what he did. The sins of Paul's past would sometimes rot in his mind. I mean, he'd literally kill people. He talked about that, he was a murderer. He did it in the name of Jehovah and everything but he was rotten and he was a hypocrite. And he'd get quiet and the sins of his past would start to sink into his mind and he'd start getting frustrated and it was like I can't get away from this thing. But this was the place, though, of his breakthrough. Who, not me. I thank God.
When he finally looked outside himself, when he finally looked beyond himself and notice the conversation has no $100 theological terms here. Just single thank you. And that may not strike you at first but if someone gives me something due me, I don't have to say thank you. Thank you would just be a bonus. But back in those days, they were more strict, now we just try to be polite nowadays in the modern world. But you didn't have to thank anybody back then for something that they had to do. And what he was saying here was Lord, I should be dead. I should be sleeping in my grave. But God. If you only have one prayer in this season and it's thank you, it is enough.
In the midst of all the frustration, he looked beyond it and began to thank God for his mercy and his grace and his kindness. He said, Lord, you know, I'm not holding you up so there's nothing I could do to let you down. He said I thank God. This is how he broke through. And this is why our worship time is not just a prelude to the preaching. That's when we get free. Lord, I could be dead in my grave. I could have gone the way of my neighbor. I might not be here, I could have gone crazy. You know what? I could be missing an arm. You know, my mama, used to say, you know, complain about the men, complained he had no shoes so he met the man without no feet.
My life could be no different. But, Lord, I need to take a moment and say thank you, God. Thank you for you, you know, I may not have what my neighbor has, I may not be where I wanna be but thank you, Jesus. I'm more than I used to be, God, and I thank you that you've been faithful to me. God, you are the only wise God. I am creature. I'm not all that. As a matter of fact, I'm not dependent on myself. I'm dependent on you, God. So I'm gonna take a moment despite my life, despite what I'm going through. I'm a lift my hands and take a moment, say thank you, Jesus. And in the midst of all that he was going, man, I try to this and I can't do this and I'm frustrated. He's like thank you, Jesus. And when you get to the place, you get to the end of yourself, that is a great place to praise.
That is the moment you need to lift your head to heaven. You know, I asked the Lord one time, why are things so hard and I felt like the Lord was saying to me 'cause you so hard. God will be as hard as you need him to be. Like I said a couple of weeks ago if it takes 100 pounds to make you kneel, 100 pounds he'll be. If it takes 50 pounds, 50 pounds it will be. The stronger you think you are, the most weight sometimes has to be put on your life for you to find your knees. So what I'm learning to do is man, just say the word, I'm a find my knees, Lord, just say the word, Lord. Thank you, Jesus, you're a good God. It ain't me, it's you. Are you still with me?
So all that stuff, all that struggle, but it's broken when he says who, not I, who. And right now you're I. Everything in our culture is about you fixing it. You getting better, you looking better, you sounding better and you look into yourself. It's frustrating. But you get to the place ooh, I can't, God, I can't, I don't care how many drugs I take, I don't care how much I drink, I don't care where I go, I don't care about any activities in my life, I can't forget some things. And you gotta get to the place, you know, I don't need to be hypnotized. I don't know that I need another counseling, counseling's good, okay, psychology's good, too, just stop depending on it. Let God be God. Let God use a psychologist but don't look to the psychology, you hear what I'm saying? All right. "I thank God," then he says "through Jesus Christ our Lord".
You see, Jesus taught us to pray in his name. A lot of us still pray in our name. Lord, because I'm good. Lord, I deserve it. Lord, this isn't fair. And it's not right. Lord, do it because it's right based on what I deserve. You're praying like a heathen. He said when you go to the father, pray in my name. True prayer, you don't go to God based on your merits. You go to God based on his merits, based on what he did at the cross, not how good you are in today or yesterday. I know that went right over your head. That's why some of us can't have faith. 'Cause we feel if we're good enough and merit it, maybe we'll get it.
But if you're really looking to the cross, recognizing he paid the penalty for my sin and my shame, all that was put on him and God I come to you in his name based on what he did. Lord, I might not have gotten it right but I know you a good God. And I know that what he did is enough. And many of us, you know, we're trying, we don't realize it, you're not bad. You're just not well trained, like me. You know, I wasn't always well trained and even then I go back. Lord I, should I, I. How many of our prayers have 23 Is? And then 13 more me, myself and my's. But he's saying lay it at the cross. Come to me in the name of someone greater. Not someone that's being perfected but someone that was perfect.
Don't let your righteousness be your own righteousness but the righteousness of Jesus Christ that's given to you. It's a gift. A gift is something given, not deserved. So I try to live right out of gratitude. not to earn God's favor or God's love. It's my way of saying thank you, Jesus. I want to please you, I want to measure up to everything that you did on that cross for me. I want to live a life, God, that pleases you because you're a good God but not to earn it. "I thank God through Jesus Christ, our Lord". Paul recognized how to be through somebody else. He's like, you know, all those Is, Is, but it's through Jesus.