David Jeremiah - Why Don't My Prayers Get Answered?
In the Old Testament, Habakkuk the prophet struggled and he said, «O Lord, how long shall I cry, and You will not hear me»? And Job wrestled with it. Job said, «Oh, that I had one to hear me! Oh, that the Almighty would answer me». And David said the same thing, «How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me»?
When we turn from the Old Testament to the Gospels, we find a familiar pattern, an interesting assortment of requests that Jesus denied. During his earthly ministry, our Lord didn’t say yes to his petitioners. In fact, when you start to look at it, it’s kind of interesting how often he said no. Do you recall when the two ambitious brothers, James and John, aided by their mother, asked if they could sit to our Lord’s left and right in the kingdom, and they didn’t know the implications of what they were asking, and the Lord didn’t grant their request? Do you know that story? And Martha asked Jesus to tell her sister Mary to help with the food preparation, and Jesus said, «I’m not doing that».
Sometimes God delays his answers. I know that sometimes the answer is no, and no is just as much of an answer as yes. I know that sometimes God answers in ways we don’t recognize at the time and don’t realize until much later on in life. But I also know this, there are moments when God makes it very clear why he isn’t answering. J. Oswald Sanders, who’s written a lot about prayer, said, «When a prudent businessman discovers that his business is failing, he takes stock. He examines the books. He determines the cause».
Should we be less prudent in our spiritual accounting? Have we ever sat down and honestly asked why some of our prayers go unanswered? Do we simply accept failure fatalistically? There are several places in scripture, and I want to take you through this list, where God states plainly that under certain circumstances he will not answer prayer. I hope we can use this as kind of a checklist. I mean, if my prayers seem to go unanswered, could the reason for that be found on this list? This isn’t an exhaustive list. This isn’t all the things that could keep your prayers from being answered. But these are the things that are in the Bible and it’s a pretty good place to start.
First of all, our prayers are not answered because of un-prayed prayers. Sometimes we miss out on what God wants to give us just because we don’t ask. The Bible says it this way: «You have not, because you ask not». Our unspoken desires are like concert tickets never picked up at the window or an unredeemed gift certificate. We thank God for the day, we ask him to bless our food, but we fail to bring before him the things we truly need or truly desire. I’ve actually had people say they’re embarrassed to tell God what they really need.
Years ago while preaching on prayer I watched the drama team present a powerful illustration. The setting was the vestibule of heaven, and the stage was filled with file cabinets lining the room. As a new resident of heaven entered, he noticed the cabinets and he asked about them. He was told that each drawer bore the name of a believer, and curious, he found the drawer with his name on it and asked what was inside. The response was sobering. It was full of blessings, said the person he talked to. Things God had wanted to give him, but couldn’t give him because he never asked for them.
What a shame it would be to miss out on God’s provision, not because he was unwilling, but because we never asked. Some people think God does not like to be troubled with our constant coming and asking. The only way to trouble God is not to come at all. That’s what D.L. Moody said. So sometimes our prayers are not answered because they’re never prayed. God wants you to recognize your need. He wants me to recognize my need. He wants us to say out loud, «This is my prayer». If we do not pray, we should not expect an answer.
Number two, the Bible is very clear about the fact that sometimes our prayers are not answered because of unconfessed sin. Here’s what Psalm 66:18 says: «If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me». We often think of unanswered prayer as a master of God’s timing, or maybe even a test of faith. But sometimes the issue isn’t with God’s timing, it’s with our hearts. And this isn’t just one verse.
The Bible repeats this principle over and over. Listen to Proverbs 28, verse 9: «One who turns away his ear from hearing the law, even his prayer is an abomination». And then there’s Isaiah 1:15 where God says, «When you spread out your hands, I will hide My eyes from you; even though you make many prayers, I will not hear, because your hands are full of blood». Isaiah 59:1-2 puts it even more clearly: «His hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; nor His ear heavy, that it cannot hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; and your sins have hidden His face from you, that He will not hear».
Now let’s go back to the top of the list and unpack this a little bit more. Psalm 66:18 says: «If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear». Please note what the verse does not say. The verse does not say: «If I sin, the Lord will not hear me». It says, «If I regard sin in my heart,» in other words, I know there is sin in my life and I’m not doing anything about it. A person who regards iniquity is one who holds a particular sin in his heart and loves it and makes an alibi for it and excuses it and covers it up. It is not primarily therefore the fact of sin, but rather a love for sin and excusing sin that makes a barrier between us and God.
The prayer God wants to hear from us is 1 John 1:9: «If we confess our sin, He’s faithful and just to forgive us our sin and to cleanse us from all iniquity». He will take all unrighteousness away. God doesn’t want us to hoard sin in our life. Now you say, «Pastor, what does that mean»? Well, you’re a Christian. You go to church every week. You live a good life. But there’s something you know that you shouldn’t be doing or involved in, and you don’t want to give it up. And you save a little place in your heart for it. It’s a corner there. And you protect it with your excuses and all of the other things in your life. The Bible says if you hoard sin in your life, if you regard it, if you keep it and you don’t deal with it, it’s hard pressed for you to go and ask God and expect him to hear you.
Thirdly, our prayers are not answered because of unbelieving minds. Here’s another barricade to answered prayer. The Bible says: «Let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all of his ways». Jesus said in Mark 11, «I assuredly say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be removed and cast into the sea, ' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says. Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe and you will receive them, and you will have them».
Faith is not an optional agreement when we pray. It is essential. Hebrews 11:6 says, «Without faith it is impossible to please God, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him». John Newton was the former slave trader who turned pastor and hymn writer. He understood the power of bold, faith-filled prayer. He often spoke of what he called large asking. Newton frequently cited a legendary story about a man who approached Alexander the Great, requesting a vast sum of money in exchange for his daughter’s hand in marriage.
Alexander agreed and instructed the man to ask his treasurer for whatever he wanted. And when the man made an extravagant request, the treasurer was shocked. He hesitated and went to Alexander, arguing that even a small fraction of what this man asked for would have been more than sufficient. Alexander’s response was remarkable. He said, «No, let him have it. Let him have it all. I like that fella. He does me honor. He treats me like a king and proves by what he asks that he believes me to be both rich and generous». Newton concluded, «In the same way, we should go to the throne of God’s grace and present petitions that express honorable views of the love, riches, and bounty of our King».
This is the kind of faith God desires, one that truly believes he’s able, that he’s good and he’s capable. And I wonder sometimes if that’s not one of the things we all could work on a little bit, to believe God for big things, to believe him for things that when you first think, «Oh that’s really… that’s impossible». What does the Bible say? «All things are possible with God».
And then our prayers are not answered because of unrighteous motives. Sometimes we pray and we don’t pray for the right reasons. We have inferior motivations. To me this is quite difficult because you can’t always trust your motivations. Not even your own. I mean you can’t know others' motivations, but sometimes you don’t even know your own. You know, the Bible says that God will reward us on the basis of our motivations. And sometimes you look back over your life and say, «Did I ever do anything truly, totally, just for God without any of my own stuff enmixed with it»? And it’s not really easy to answer that question. We often do good deeds for selfish reasons. Sometimes we ask God for greater things from lesser motivations.
James wrote, «You ask and you do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures». The phrase «ask amiss» means to ask in a wrong way with selfish or impure motives. And the Greek word behind the word «pleasures» is connected to hedonism, a lifestyle consumed with personal pleasure and indulgence. A hedonistic society seeks gratification above everything. And too often our prayers reflect that same pursuit of pleasure rather than a heart surrendered to God’s purposes. We pray for health, not so that we can serve and glorify God, but so we can indulge in self-centered living. Or we pray for wealth, not so we can use our resources for the kingdom, but so that we can live in luxury and comfort and excess.
This doesn’t mean we cannot ask God to do something for those we love. This does not mean in any sense of the word that when we pray we cannot ask God to give us our daily bread and meet our needs. Surely we can do that. God delights in giving us good gifts but we must check our motives. Are we seeking his glory or just our own desires? The Bible warns that some prayers go unanswered because they are from the wrong motive.
Then the Bible teaches us that our prayers are not answered because of unresolved conflicts. I want you to write these verses down because these two verses go together and if you’re not careful you’ll forget where they are and you’ll lose the power of them. So write these references down. Mark 11:25–26. Listen to what it says: «And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. For if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses».
So do you get what that says? The Bible says if you have something against someone, you’re holding a grudge against someone, you’ve got an issue with someone, the Bible says you need to take the responsibility to forgive that person and get that relationship right, all right? Now he made the same point in his Sermon on the Mount. Listen to this: «Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift».
The first verse says if you have something against somebody, go get it right. The second verse says if somebody’s got something against you, go get it right. And what that means, class, is it’s always your turn. Because what happens to us when we get in situations like that, well, and probably even in your marriage, I won’t make any confessions here, but probably even in your marriage, you have a little disagreement and you don’t do anything about it because you initiated the last time of forgiveness, and it’s not your turn. Listen to me, it’s always our turn. God made it clear in his Word that our acceptance with him is based solely on the work he did for us at Calvary, and our belief in his Son is our only hope of salvation.
But the Lord also told us that our fellowship with him in prayer is conditioned upon our relationship with others. If you don’t forgive someone who hurts you or that you hurt, it doesn’t affect your salvation, but it may affect your fellowship with God. You may feel a distance come between you and God. You’re still saved, but the walk of fellowship can be hurt. If I’ve offended my brother or my sister, I need to go make things right, or at least try to, or my prayers may be hindered. If my brother has offended me, I must forgive him so bitterness won’t be a barrier to my prayers.
So have you hurt someone but haven’t tried to make it right? Or are you resentful at someone? People can hurt us and some can hurt us in catastrophic ways. We can carry around bitterness for many years, but it’s a self-destructive attitude and a prayer-hindering emotion. Ask God to give you a forgiving heart, breathe out your prayers in an atmosphere of grace. You will be so surprised if you do this how wonderful it will be to pray again in the right way, because you’re not holding something back in your heart.
Okay, number six: Our prayers are not answered because of uncompassionate hearts. Once again from the Word of God, as I searched the scriptures looking for hurdles that hinder our prayers, I found another danger lurking in Proverbs 21, verse 13: «Whoever shuts his ears to the cry of the poor will also cry himself and not be heard». The apostle John also touches on this. He said, «Whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? Let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight».
This is not about trying to feed the world’s hungry, although we ought to be concerned about that. This prayer barrier is about failing to have compassion for those we know who are in need, especially those who come to us and seek our help, and we have the capability of meeting that need. If we respond without compassion, we violate our fellowship with God and he is not gonna answer our prayers until we make that right. He’s a God of compassion. Has he shown compassion to us? Out of the reservoir of his compassion to us, we’re to have compassion on other people.
Our prayers are not answered because of unprayed prayers. Our prayers are not answered because of unconfessed sin. Our prayers are not answered because of unbelieving minds. Our prayers are not answered because of unrighteous motives. Our prayers are not answered because of unresolved conflicts. Our prayers are not answered because of uncompassionate hearts. And this last one is going to shock you. But I want to remind you again, I’m not making this up. This is from the Bible. Our prayers are not answered because of unresponsive husbands. Did you know that? «Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered».
Men, the Bible has a special category for us. It teaches us that men, and all the women are clapping, that’s not fair. This teaches us that not having the right kind of relationship with our wives can hinder our prayers. It makes it hard to pray for your wife when you have not been loving her and meeting her needs and living with her according to the teaching of the Word of God. On the other hand, think of the potential that is wrapped up in the two of you praying together, agreeing on things and praying in your prayers for the same things.
Matthew 18 says, «I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in My name, I am there in the midst of them». Unprayed prayers, unconfessed sin, unbelieving minds, unrighteous motives, unresolved conflicts, uncompassionate hearts, and unresponsive husbands. There you have it, seven things that can be barriers to praying. Psalm 86:5 says: «For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive, and abundant in mercy to all those who call upon You».
We cannot afford to have our prayers hindered in days like these. We live in treacherous days and we can’t let stuff get between us and God. We need constant access to the throne of grace, and we need to live in the land of answered prayer. From the beginning of the Bible to its conclusion, we see absolute evidence that God answers prayer. Things that we think are impossible, God does when people pray.
Prayer has won victories over fire and earth and water. Prayer opened the Red Sea. Prayer brought water from the rock and bread from heaven. Prayer made the sun stand still. Prayer brought fire from the sky on Elijah’s sacrifice. Prayer overthrew armies and healed the sick. Prayer raised the dead. Prayer has paved the way for the conversion of millions of people. When we pray, we align ourselves with the purposes of God and tap into the power of the Almighty. Because we pray, God works through us in ways that he wouldn’t otherwise. God has determined that he will use the prayers of his people to accomplish his purposes on this earth. If we want all the blessings God has available to us, we must pray.