Creflo Dollar - Understanding Biblical Headship - Part 1
This is going to be a very challenging message this morning. We have been the church outside of the building. And if you've kept up with everything that we've been dealing with, we are right now in the middle of a series entitled, "Grace-Based Relationships". And in this series, it has been very revealing that some of the things that we need to do, because one of the things that was under attack in the midst of this pandemic that we're coming out of is the area of relationships. And so, we've been dealing with grace-based relationships. And we started off talking about the primary relationships before we ever got to marriage, but today we're gonna get to marriage. But there are other relationships before you get to marriage. There's the most vital relationship and that's relationship between man and God.
So that's real. And then there's a relationship between, you know, man and man, godly friendships. And then there's a relationship in marriage. And so, the problem is, is because we don't respect those priority relationships, then when you get down to marriage, then you're looking for some kind of secret to make the marriage work. And the secret to making the marriage work is respecting those first two relationships, your relationship with God, which is very important. Because if you don't have a relationship with God, you're gonna make a terrible friend. And if you have terrible friendships, you're gonna probably make a terrible mate in marriage. And so, if you're gonna really deal with the issue of marriage, you need to go all the way back to your relationship with God.
And please understand that there is no such thing as a relationship with God when you have no relationship with his Word because the supernatural is attached to the Word of God. And how can you have a relationship with God without having a relationship with his Word? The Bible says, "In the beginning was the Word, the Word was with God, and the Word," what? "Was God". We want to know God outside his Word. What do you know about God outside his Word? We want to, we want to have fellowship with God outside of his Word. How do you fellowship with God outside his Word? Everything about God is his Word, and his Word was given to us so that through that Word, we can have a proper relationship with God. And so, if you call yourself a Christian but you never get in the Word and you don't know anything about the Word, or you've been subject to just bad teaching from people who thought they knew the Word, it's going to affect that ultimate priority, and that is your relationship with God. But I guarantee you when you begin to have a relationship with God through his Word, you're gonna be ready for the next relationship and that's a relationship with one another.
And ultimately, that's the thing God really cares about more than anything, he cares about godly friendship. You know what grieves the Holy Spirit is how we treat one another. And I tell you, if there's an example of how to walk with people, people should be able to see it in church, but that's not true. Sometimes some of the most egregious things you see in church, and we gotta fix that. And that can't be fixed until we go back and correct our relationship with God. The world should be checking us out to discover how we treat one another, how we walk in agape love, which means it's an unconditional love, not based on what you do to try to get me to love you, but it's my decision to love you just because you are a carrier of Jesus Christ. And so, you know, beware of marrying somebody who has no relationships with nobody. There is a reason why he don't have a relationship with nobody, he's a narcissist, and you're about to get yourself in serious trouble because that's one of those stages you go to as you prepare for this gift of marriage, this gift of marriage.
I did a teaching on a Wednesday night entitled, "Before I Say I Do," some of the things that you need to do. And one of the things you need to do is make sure you have a good relationship with God through his Word, and make sure you know how to have relationship with people, being respectful of people, learning how to love unconditional, learning how to disagree agreeably. And we don't know how to do that. There's more strife in the church right now than ever before. I mean, folks, since the last time we got together, there's a huge division in church within the body of Christ. And that can't be because I'mma tell you, if you don't get this, if you don't know how to relate with one another in godly friendships, you're still not ready for marriage.
You're still not ready to be successful in marriage. And so, you want to know the problem with marriage right now? You want to know the number of people that got Corona divorces? It wasn't because they were stuck in the house. It was because they were forced to deal with what lacked in that relationship that also lacked in that friendship that's also lacked in their relationship with God. And until you deal with that, you won't know how to get along. We gotta learn how to get along in the house of God. And we've gotta learn how to get along in your house. And you gotta learn how to get along in your neighborhood. No, no, no, I'm not talking about the third degree of how to pray in tongues and get the Holy Ghost to move in five minutes. They ain't what we're talking about, I'm talking about we gotta learn how to live together right so that, listen, the crazy world can look at the glorious church and use it as an example of how we ought to act.
Now listen, I've been preaching to empty chairs all year long, so even if you don't want to say, "amen," just... So for those of you who are not married but will be getting married, pay attention to this. This message is really gonna be for every man in here. We've been lied to, men. We've been tricked. And no woman needs to look at your husband this morning talking about, "I told you," because you bought the lie too. So, all of that was warm up. I hadn't seen you in a minute so I'm trying to figure out where you at. I think I got a pretty good pulse. So, let's begin this morning in 1 Corinthians chapter 11 and verse 3, as we deal with this third relationship, this relationship of marriage. And we're gonna start off with something that my wife has shared with us and so it shouldn't be strange to your hearing. But we both decided that this is something that we really need to bring home. 1 Corinthians chapter 11 and verse 3, I'm gonna read it in the King James, and then the New Living Translation. He says, "But I would have you to know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man".
Well, when most men read that, they are thinking that that means dominance, like in Genesis when there was dominance given to the man over the woman. That doesn't exist anymore because Jesus is now alive. Well, he died and he rose again. But when the gospel of grace showed up, that changed, we are all now equal. We all stand on equal ground because of Jesus Christ. That was a part of the old covenant before Jesus died. So, the head of the woman is the man. That's the problem right there, we don't even know what that means. What does that mean? Does that mean you're the boss of the woman? I mean, if that's the case, if head means boss then the Scripture would read like this, "But I would have you to know that the boss of every man is Christ, and the boss of the woman is the man, and the boss of Christ is God". And it would be referred to in dominance. I would have you to know that the dominant person of every man is Christ, and the dominant person of every woman is the man, and the dominant person of Christ is God. You know that's not what that's talking about because God doesn't relate to us in dominance. He relates to us with love.
Now, look at this in the New Living Translation. "But there is one thing I want you to know". This is important, man, this one thing you want me to know here. "The head of every man is Christ. The head of the woman is man". We got tricked with that. You go to counseling sessions, you go to church, and they tell you that the man is your head, which, they're saying he's your boss. So, now all of a sudden, we have to research head to make sure the man ain't acting like something he's not supposed to be acting like 'cause the church misinterpreted the Scripture, and that's messing up everything. And then he says that the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. Alright, let's go to Ephesians chapter 5, let's look at this. And as I read these Scriptures, I want you to think about your own personal experience with that Scripture, the man being the head of the woman. And then the woman buys it and she says, "Yes, amen, that's my head," trying to be submitted, but you don't show us what you're doing at home when he tick you off.
Alright, now look at this. Ephesians chapter 5, verse 23, and then verse 25, look at it in the NLT, Ephesians 5:23. Oh, well, that's good. Let's do that first. "For the husband is the head of the wife," there it is again, "even as Christ is the head of the church". So now, whatever your experiences were with head, now you've got to weigh it with Christ is the head of the church. And so, if you're thinking that head is, "I get to tell you what to do, and I get to dominate you," that means Christ is also doing the same thing with the church. And it ain't going together. And he says, "And he is the savior of the body". Look at verse 25, "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it".
Now, let's look at the word "head," what does it mean? We always go back to the original language where the word was used to try to get a really amazing definition of what it means. So, the Greek is the language here that it was translated into English. And the Greek word "head" is the word "kephale". It is a Greek word which means, watch this, source. It means something grows or something comes into being. It means source, something grows, something comes into being. Now, I want to take a little journey here because I think this is necessary. I want us to take a look at this in a little deeper way. There's some, this source, when I first heard it and when I first heard Taffi talk about the head being the source, I needed to translate that into the practicality of everyday life because he is saying the man is the head. But then notice he says he's the head like Christ is the head. He's the head like God is the head. So, the definition of head is going to be demonstrated by Christ and demonstrated by God.
Now, I want to start at verse 22 in the NLT, and I want you to just take note of some things. Because when you start telling this to people, their tradition will confront you. And you will be shocked of the number of people who are not willing to let go of their traditional understanding of headship. Ephesians chapter 5, verse 22, he says, "For wives, this means submit yourself as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife," now watch this, "as Christ is head of the church. He's the Savior of the body, the church," now listen to this. Have you noticed so far, notice how Paul brings Jesus into the equation. In each case, he is drawing from Jesus in order to be successful. That's the key, you're gonna be the head, draw from Jesus, even as Christ is the head. So, in each case he says you're gonna draw from Jesus in order to be successful in the situation. I want you to notice also that the first miracle Jesus performed was at a marriage feast. The first miracle Jesus performed was at a marriage feast. The first priority to bless is your marriage life, the first one. And we're looking for everything else, and the first blessing is gonna be on your marriage.
Now, there are two principles in Genesis that I don't think the church has ever talked about that I think will enlighten this issue of head, what does it mean to be head? We know that this word "head" means source. Alright, now, let's look at the first principle of Genesis. Follow me carefully here now. When God created the heavens and the earth, he spoke to the atmosphere. He said, "Let there be firmament in the midst of the firmament, let there be a moon to rule by the night. Let there be a sun rule by day". He spoke to the atmosphere whenever he wanted to produce something in that atmosphere. So, whenever he wants something out of the atmosphere, God would speak to it. Whatever the atmosphere was, the first thing God wanted to do in order to produce out of that atmosphere was he had to speak to it. Mmm. Now, when God wanted to make man, and we know that man came out of God, God breathed into man the breath of life and man became a living soul. So, when God wanted to create man, guess what he did. He spoke to himself. Oh, my God. God spoke to himself when he created man, Lord have mercy. So, whatever God wants created, he speaks to the atmosphere from which that thing was created.
Follow me carefully. That's the first principle. Here's the second principle. Whatever object was created from that atmosphere must continue to be attached to that atmosphere in order to survive. Whatever object was created from out of that atmosphere must continue to be attached to that atmosphere in order to survive. For example, the body from the dust or the ground atmosphere is sustained by food from the ground atmosphere. Body came out of the ground. It's gonna be sustained from that same atmosphere. Man's spirit came from God, then we are sustained from that God atmosphere. Y'all don't hear me. So, we must stay within the atmosphere that you came from. Alright now, here we go. So, where did the woman come from? What would the Bible say? Ain't anybody get deep at one time. The woman came from the side, not from the backbone. Actually, the literal word here was cell. The woman came from the side, or the cell, from the man. Mmm.
So, if she came from the side or the cell of the men, she is going to be sustained from the side or from partnership with her husband. "Well, what if I don't have a husband yet"? Jesus is your husband until you get one. So, how is she gonna be nourished? Because that's the atmosphere she came from. See, a wife is nourished by the words of her husband. I love you first as a priority gives this woman strength to do. The most valuable thing a man can do is to speak words to his wife. Now, let me sum this now. Headship is a source of love. The head, the source by which love flows. Mmm. Man is the source or the faucet by which love flows. You're beginning with your wife and your kids starts with you. Four times in Ephesians 5, you'll see "even as" is mentioned, even as saying that you need to be the faucet that love flows from.
When love flows from a man, it equips and nourishes this woman, this partner of yours, this equal of yours, to be nourished. And let me tell you something. When you nourish an apple tree, you can eat the apples from that tree and get nourished right back, are y'all following me? Nourishment comes from the source by which you came from. You are nourished from the source that you came from. The atmosphere that gave birth to you is the place or the source for our lives. Now, every man in here ought to have an epiphany, a moment where you're thinking, "Oh, my God. Now I see why I have been under such an attack. Satan's trying to rob me of my ability to nourish". Being a man is less about control and more about serving sacrificially. Y'all didn't hear what I said. See, 'cause you have these flawed definitions of manhood. You operate by man law that eventually will send you quitting, running, or killing yourself. This is less about control, this is not about who's in control. Manhood is all about sacrificial service. That's what manhood is. It's not who's in control. It's not who's the boss. It's about sacrificial service.