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Watch 2022-2023 online sermons » Creflo Dollar » Creflo Dollar - A New Season: Shawn Troy And Tasha Diorr

Creflo Dollar - A New Season: Shawn Troy And Tasha Diorr

TOPICS: Your World, Mistake, Guilt, Freedom, Self-esteem

Hello, I'm Creflo Dollar, and thank you for allowing me to bring some insight and inspiration to your world. Today's show is dealing with mistakes. We've all made them. Maybe you've been in a spot where you've made a wrong decision, perhaps some bad choices. Most of the time we recover. We pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and we move on.

Today's guests are here to share their stories about choices they made that took them down a path where their confidence and self-image was utterly ripped apart. Instead of thinking, "I made a mistake", they now feel that "I am a mistake". Our guests today are living in guilt over something that happened in their past that continues to live in their present, and they have found themselves caught in a never-ending cycle of shame and abuse. The two ladies you will meet today have two very different stories, but they are coming from the very same place.

Our first guest has suffered physical, sexual, and mental abuse by her boyfriend for over 17 years. Though she would time and again pack her belongings and leave, she kept finding herself lured back into this nightmare that never seems to end. Would you please welcome Shawn Troy to "Your World" today.

Creflo Dollar: Welcome, Shawn.

Shawn Troy: Hi.

Creflo Dollar: Thank you for joining us today.

Shawn Troy: Thank you.

Creflo Dollar: So we are going to come together and create an instrument, and through your testimony and what you share with us today, the people that can relate to what you've gone through are gonna be ministered to through your testimony, through what I'll add to your testimony, and we're gonna be a blessing to a lot of people today. You ready?

Shawn Troy: Yeah.

Creflo Dollar: So let's go into your world. Let's start off with this question. Your early life at home, I understand that your father died when you were very young.

Shawn Troy: I was 11.

Creflo Dollar: Eleven years old?

Shawn Troy: Mm-hmm.

Creflo Dollar: Let's talk about how life was when all that happened, your early years at home.

Shawn Troy: It was a lot of abuse.

Creflo Dollar: Mm-hmm.

Shawn Troy: My dad was a heroin addict, and so that was what complicated, what advanced his death, made him die so early. He was 29 years old when he died. But it was a lot of abuse. I would wake up in the middle of the night and just hear my mother getting punched or beat and it was just ridiculous. It was crazy.

Creflo Dollar: Yeah, to hear that as a young child was probably pretty traumatic.

Shawn Troy: Mm-hmm, very.

Creflo Dollar: Yeah, I also understood that you grew up as a Jehovah's Witness.

Shawn Troy: Yes.

Creflo Dollar: What was that like?

Shawn Troy: Very controlling. We had a lot of routine. Although it was controlling, but there were some good things that came out of it. It gave me a lot of values and purpose, and so it wasn't all bad, but it was a very controlling religion.

Creflo Dollar: Mm-hmm, now, your relationship, after your father died, I'm assuming your mom married again?

Shawn Troy: Yes.

Creflo Dollar: And so what was the relationship like with your stepfather?

Shawn Troy: He was just as abuse, I mean, he was a cocaine addict and a gambler.

Creflo Dollar: Wow, so you, kind of, like, you know, father had the same situation, then she married again. Was your mother struggling in any abuse or drugs or was concerned?

Shawn Troy: No drugs, but it took me a long time, like, I just used to think my mother was crazy, but later, when I got older, I realized she had a drinking problem.

Creflo Dollar: If you're in the middle of all of this and the trauma is goin' on, it had to cause you to think a certain way about yourself, did it?

Shawn Troy: I had a lot of low self-esteem growin' up. Like, all my brothers and sisters, most of them are lighter, light skin. I don't know if you wanna get into all that.

Creflo Dollar: Sure, yeah. Your world.

Shawn Troy: Okay, so I always felt, because I was a darker complexion, like, I always felt like my brothers got more attention than I did, so it took me a long time, but I had to try and build my self-esteem up and make myself think I was okay, but my mother would always say things like, "Well, your nose is, you need to pull your nose. It's too flat, and your forehead is too big, and you need to pull your nose and push your forehead back".

Creflo Dollar: Wow.

Shawn Troy: So, yeah, so I've dealt with a lot of low self-esteem growin' up.

Creflo Dollar: Mm-hmm, so did you get married?

Shawn Troy: I got married when I was 19.

Creflo Dollar: And how long did that relationship last?

Shawn Troy: Fifteen years.

Creflo Dollar: So what happened to end that relationship?

Shawn Troy: He's a very good, good father, he was a great, great guy and great husband, but I didn't wanna be a Jehovah Witness anymore. So I left him, and I left the religion, all at the same time. He didn't like that I didn't wanna be a Jehovah Witness anymore so.

Creflo Dollar: Wow.

Shawn Troy: Yeah.

Creflo Dollar: But did you ever struggle even in that marriage with low self-esteem?

Shawn Troy: Yeah, I did.

Creflo Dollar: And did he ever verbalize anything about your physical appearance or character that even added to that?

Shawn Troy: No, because he was really a great guy, so he would call me beautiful. He was really a really good guy. It was the one after him.

Creflo Dollar: I'm thinking, you're saying he was a great guy, yet the relationship dissolved. Did you regret that or have any regrets about that?

Shawn Troy: Sometimes I often think, maybe if I had just stayed, I wouldn't have gone through some of the other stuff I went through with the next guy, but I just needed my freedom. I wanted to take my life back and control my decisions and the things that I wanted to do in my life, and I didn't want to hear barking and these men from the religion telling me what to do and how to dress, what to think, and I just didn't wanna do that anymore.

Creflo Dollar: Even at the cost of a relationship which was a pretty good relationship?

Shawn Troy: Yeah.

Creflo Dollar: So you had to feel like you were really being controlled in order to feel that way. And then I think all of us, the audience and everybody, can understand. Nobody wants to live under...

Shawn Troy: Under that control, under their thumb.

Creflo Dollar: You know what I've learned is that people who can't control their emotions usually try to control other people. I've discovered the same thing is true with some religions. They thrive on tryin' to control people through fear, and, you know, "If you don't do this, you're gonna go to hell by noon".

Shawn Troy: Yup, "Armageddon's comin'".

Creflo Dollar: Yeah, "Armageddon's comin' tomorrow, and you better get your stuff together. You better watch out. You better not cry. I'm telling"... You guys know exactly what I'm talkin' about? And so you're out from under that control, and you meet a man who's involved in the criminal justice system, or was it law enforcement?

Shawn Troy: He was a retired detective.

Creflo Dollar: Okay.

Shawn Troy: Yeah.

Creflo Dollar: So tell us about that. How did you guys meet? What were you thinking? Was it goin' well, and what did it turn out to be?

Shawn Troy: When I met him, I had potentially two thriving businesses, a restaurant and property preservation business. I was doin' really well, and he worked for me, and we just became really, really good friends, and then it later led to us developing a relationship.

Creflo Dollar: So you're out from under this controlling umbrella. You go out, you make some decisions, you're a successful businesswoman, and, actually, this guy worked for you.

Creflo Dollar: Did I hear that right?

Shawn Troy: Yes.

Creflo Dollar: He worked for you?

Shawn Troy: Mm-hmm.

Creflo Dollar: Okay, what happened?

Shawn Troy: Oh...

Creflo Dollar: I could tell by your face. When I asked you that question, you said, "Oh, Lord Jesus". "Oh, Lord Jesus, what has Frank done"? Go ahead and take your time. Take your time.

Shawn Troy: Oh, gosh, so here, I'm thinkin' I'm leaving the controlling religion, the husband, and goin' off into better pastures, greener pastures, and what they always say, "It's never"...

Creflo Dollar: "Greener on the other side".

Shawn Troy: "It's never greener".

Creflo Dollar: Yeah.

Shawn Troy: And I went with him, and he was even more controlling. Like, he was so bad. Like, I wouldn't, like, say, we were watchin' a movie or somethin', and I would get up to go to the bathroom. He'd be like, "Where are you goin'"? And I'm like, "What? Like, I have to pee, okay"? Like, seriously, do I need permission to go to the bathroom? And he literally would follow me around the house all day long. Like, it seriously drove me insane, so much so, that I literally, like, I wanted to be away from him so bad, I tried to kill myself.

Creflo Dollar: Really?

Shawn Troy: And I landed up in the hospital, and do you know, he came there and laughed at me and told me I was weak, and he was like, "Let's go. There's nothin' wrong with you. You don't need to be here. You need, let's go. Let's go". And like a little puppy dog, I did. I followed him out the hospital 'cause they wanted to admit me.

Creflo Dollar: I'm tryin' to see because you're trying to kill yourself...

Shawn Troy: 'Cause I wanted to be away. Like, I, just, I couldn't deal with the, it was just, so, like, just, everything. Like, every decision I made, he had somethin' to say about it. He had somethin' to say about everything.

Creflo Dollar: But what was really an underlining issue to you comin' to a place where you wanted to kill yourself? I mean I hear what you're saying about what you had to go through with the control, but then to go all the back to the seven-year-old girl, the five-year, I'm thinking, okay, so "I'm tryin' to deal with my esteem. I'm tryin' to look at who I am, tryin' to find significance". What part of that was still lingering around and was somewhat amplified by being under this control again?

Shawn Troy: I don't know. It's a lot. I don't know. It was... yeah.

Creflo Dollar: It's a lot of stuff that happened previously that it becomes very important for us to identify what are some of those things that were goin' on, what are some things we have yet to resolve. When you fail to deal with childhood trauma, then part of the consequences will be false identity. It'll be the event of trying to successfully attach and develop relationships. There's this big trust issue. "I'm havin' problems trusting people". So if you put all that together and you put it under control, you reached a point where you says, "Listen, I don't wanna be controlled", and you saw what you could accomplish outside of that control. Now you're back in a situation where you're being controlled again, and I'm just wondering, you know, what is it that's being stirred up every time you find yourself being controlled by somebody where your self-esteem is concerned? What is it that has gone unresolved, even way back then, dealin' with who you were, and "I'm darker than my siblings", and losin' a father at a early age, and then gettin' a stepfather and goin' through the abuse and stuff like that? Because, you know, we wanna make sure that that low self-esteem is not there because your low self-esteem will always draw that type of person to you. So you're in this situation. You're in the hospital, all right? Somebody that you probably think, "He cares about me some, comes and laughs at me, does more damage to how I see myself that you don't even care enough to be concerned about my attempt". Now, at that point, I would've gotten out of the hospital, and I wouldn't wanna see...

Shawn Troy: You wouldn't wanna see him again, but I did.

Creflo Dollar: So what happened? Why would you go back to some, a'ight, first of all, excuse me, but let's just say I wasn't saved, and he come in the hospital, messin' with me like that, I would've cussed him out every, you know, wasn't saved. I ain't saved, now. Some kind of protective response would've come up to say, "Bro", you follow what I'm sayin'? And I'm asking this because, again, I wanna see how you feel about you. Do you have enough love for yourself not to allow someone else to come and abuse you?

Shawn Troy: Exactly.

Creflo Dollar: Tell me how you reacted when he came up, and why'd you go back?

Shawn Troy: Well, I was really, really upset that he said what he said, but I think, like, we would go through this, like, our relationship was always tumultuous, always dramatic, and so he would come back, then leave me, come back, and leave me. In that pain of him leaving every time he left, I think I just didn't wanna deal with that pain 'cause it was so deep. Like, when I went through my divorce, I was like, "Okay", but with him, it was just somethin' between us, and it just made me, like, I just didn't wanna deal with that pain. It was so deep.

Creflo Dollar: So what was the pain? Describe the pain. What were you going through every time he left you?

Shawn Troy: I felt like he had pushed me down so bad that I felt like there was nobody else that I will ever find that will ever love me. It was only him, always him, and I really believed that. Like, I remember when I left the first time, and I was like, "You mean to tell me I can get my own apartment"? I really thought like that. Like, I have always been like a businesswoman and really sharp and everything, but I have been in that relation so much, so long, that I let it just beat me down, and I totally lost myself again.

Creflo Dollar: You just hit it again. It's like you allow people to come in and knock your self-worth down.

Shawn Troy: Yup.

Creflo Dollar: And you allow other people to determine your worth, and you have to be strong enough, and you've proven to yourself that you have been, in times past, and you can be today, that "regardless of what anybody else thinks about me or says about me or treats me, my self-worth will always be to the place where I know it should be, and I do not want to involve myself in a relationship where somebody doesn't agree with the value that I have about myself", and you have to hold onto the value that you possess. Basically, what was going on is you allowed this man to continue to show up in your life and devalue you.

Shawn Troy: Yeah, absolutely.

Creflo Dollar: And what happens when you're being devalued, sometimes you can get pushed down so low that you have no other choice but to come up aggressively.

Shawn Troy: Yup.

Creflo Dollar: But you don't need to do that. All the comments that have not been dealt with about how your physical appearance and your look and what you can do and what you can't do, and this, all of that comes together, and you either will allow it to determine your value, or you will take a better estimate of who you are, and especially who you are in Christ Jesus, and you will place your value at a higher level and dare anybody to come and try to devalue you. Don't let anybody devalue who God has made you. You are very precious in his sight, and, see, if I don't value me, then why should I expect anybody else to come and value me, right? I mean, I'm not gonna allow somebody to come in my life and determine my value. God determines my value. I agree with him, and "You don't get to devalue me", and when you allow people in your life to devalue you, you are inviting a toxic relationship, and that relationship offers, I mean, it doesn't offer anything. Here's one of the ways you can tell when you're in a toxic relationship and the temptation of being devalued: when they're always wanting to take advantage rather than give the advantage, that is the first sign of a toxic relationship. So any relationship in your life, whether it's a friend, relationships, somebody you might wanna marry, you have to go through that test. Am I allowin' somebody in my life that'll give me the advantage, or am I tolerating somebody that takes the advantage? That's so important.

Shawn Troy: Absolutely.

Creflo Dollar: Can you relate to that?

Shawn Troy: Absolutely.

Creflo Dollar: Can you relate to that all the way back when you were a little girl?

Creflo Dollar: Yeah?

Shawn Troy: Yup.

Creflo Dollar: So this is a issue of value.

Shawn Troy: Mm-hmm.

Creflo Dollar: Once you allow somebody in your life to devalue you, you end up tolerating things that you don't need to tolerate. Here's a successful businesswoman. You probably hadn't even come to the place of knowing your full potential, but don't let Waldo back in nowhere. Keep Waldo out.

Shawn Troy: Oh, you better believe it.

Creflo Dollar: If you need any help gettin' Waldo out, me and some of the brothers will come and help you get Waldo out of the house. You cannot, must not allow anybody in your life to devalue you. If you can't help but find yourself in a cycle of bad decisions, just know there is only one who can restore you and make you whole again. God wants to heal you whether your brokenness is physical, emotional, or spiritual. One touch from him brings a joy that can saturate your entire being, and if you choose to accept the grace that he has for you, life will be everything it needs to be, amen?

Our next guest believes that she is the cause of her mother's suicide, and two of her sisters blame her too and have vowed to never forgive her. When she was just 17, she told her mother the news that her mom's boyfriend was cheating on her. Later that night, her mother took a shotgun and aimed it at her own chest and pulled the trigger. The pain, depression, and heavy guilt has suffocated her for decades. Today, she's asking, "Did I kill my mom"? We're going to help her answer that question today. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Tasha Dior to "Your World". Tasha, thank you for joining us today.

Tasha Diorr: Thank you for having me.

Creflo Dollar: Well, we are going to dig into this because we got to answer that question for you today. Talk to us about your memories with your mother and father together growing up.

Tasha Diorr: Oh God, I didn't really have any memories with my mother and father. 'Cause at the time when my mom was dating him, he was a married man. So, he was actually, you know, cheating at the time, you know, with my mom.

Creflo Dollar: Yeah. Do you feel like your mom loved you?

Tasha Diorr: Yes, I do. I think that she probably didn't know how to love.

Creflo Dollar: Yeah. Let's talk about her depression. As much as you can remember, what was her depression, the degree of her depression? I mean, you know, when you saw her, had relationship with her, was it like an ongoing type of thing that every time you noticed that she was going through that? Talk to us about that.

Tasha Diorr: Yes. Most of the time, she used to stay closed up in her room. She never, never went to any family functions whatsoever. Even when we did the obituary, we actually couldn't find a family picture because she always stayed closed into herself. And actually, we had to use the picture that was on her driver's license. So, yeah.

Creflo Dollar: So, would you agree with me there were a lot of emotional things that you could see through your mom? And that there were probably some childhood trauma that she had not dealt with?

Tasha Diorr: Mm-hmm.

Creflo Dollar: And as a result of only God knows all of the things that she had dealt with beforehand, you know, you guys are born and the family's born and she still hasn't resolved some of those issues. Are you aware of some of those issues that she struggled with?

Tasha Diorr: No.

Creflo Dollar: Yeah, so she kept to herself?

Tasha Diorr: She actually kept to herself.

Creflo Dollar: And really never talked to anybody, just kind of...

Tasha Diorr: No.

Creflo Dollar: Do you think she was kind of a prideful woman? And I say that this way, that she really didn't want anybody to know her business so she could kind of carry on this facade a little bit?

Tasha Diorr: No, I don't think she was prideful. I just think that she was just suffering from depression.

Creflo Dollar: What happens is a lot of time you have wounds that are not dealt with, then you normally put a blanket around those wounds and you get a false identity. And nobody really knows who this person is because they are who they are through a blanket. And I've got to keep it covered so that you won't know who I really am. Did you see her doing that?

Tasha Diorr: I can say that because she was just so closed off. Most of the time growing up when I was a little girl, she stayed in her room with the door closed.

Creflo Dollar: I see you struggling to answer because you're like, "Honestly, I didn't really get a chance to develop a relationship with her". Because she was closed off?

Tasha Diorr: Mm-hmm.

Creflo Dollar: So, is that a true statement that you didn't get a chance?

Tasha Diorr: Yeah, that's true.

Creflo Dollar: What about your siblings?

Tasha Diorr: I can say that for my oldest sister. At the time of her passing, my three youngest sisters, they was little. They was like one, two, and three, so they never really got to actually know her either.

Creflo Dollar: Now, let's get to this issue of, you know, you sharing in a responsibility for your mother's death. I need you to explain that to us. Why do you feel that you're responsible for your mother's suicide?

Tasha Diorr: Because at that time, I was eight months pregnant, I was eight or nine months pregnant. I actually had been in the whole house my whole pregnancy. But just that day, I don't know, that day, I got dressed and I went outside. I was a teenager at the time. I went outside and basically, you know, to visit friends. And one of my friends told me that they seen my mom's boyfriend was actually with another one of my friends, high school friends. And when I went back home, my mom, she was cooking. And I told her what happened, and she immediately ran out the door because she was so in love with this guy. So, she never returned, and I just felt like that it was my fault. Not only that, it's times that my family has blamed me also. So, sometimes when you keep hearing things over and over again, you start to believe them. But still at the end of the day, yeah, I thought it was my fault.

Creflo Dollar: Let me ask you a question. Tough questions, you ready?

Tasha Diorr: Mm-hmm.

Creflo Dollar: Did you pull the trigger?

Tasha Diorr: No.

Creflo Dollar: How are you responsible for her suicide? Yep, that's my point. You're not. You may have been on the other side hearing people blaming you for that because when hurt people are hurt, they constantly try to find somebody to take the blame for it. And in this situation, it is not possible for you to take the blame for it because at the end of the day, every individual human being is responsible for their own action, bar none. Every individual is responsible for their own action. Whether they heard or hear or experience something good and/or bad, we all have tough, rough days, and we all have the same opportunity as a free moral agent to make decisions.

We make a decision to live, we make a decision to die. But if when I make a decision to live, it is my decision. If I make a decision to die, it is my decision because ultimately, I'm going to be the one that's responsible for carrying out that decision. It is a hurtful, painful event and memory in your life. And what's probably even more hurtful and painful is to hear people that you love tell you that it's your fault. Now, here's what I want you to look at about this. Imagine what in the world must be going on in the life of an individual that they can say to somebody else, "It's your fault". What kind of issues must be going on in a person's life where we're constantly looking for someone to blame for something that they know is not your fault. But what's the pain and the hurt and the regrets and all of the things that were going on in their life where they had to search to try to see if I can blame her, maybe I can feel better about how I feel.

Tasha Diorr: Right.

Creflo Dollar: Isn't it interesting, even when you go to the funeral of a family member, the whole family sits in the church and everybody picks out this one little thing that they felt like if I would've did this, then I could've stopped that from happening? If I hadn't bought them this last bottle of liquor, maybe they would not have had a car wreck. Or if I hadn't had done this. And everybody sits there and, "Oh, if I would've done". No, you know, you remember the saying, "Would've, could've, should've". Mm-mm, I have to make sure you understand this today, it's not your fault. It is not anybody's fault, it is a decision of a free moral agent who made a decision to, for a whole lot of reasons, for a whole lot of unresolved conflict, for a whole lot of hurt and pain, for a whole lot of childhood trauma that's never been dealt with, for a whole lot of things that, here you go, for a whole lot of things that have happened in her life that she didn't even know was trauma, didn't even know how to work through those things.

Someone that was looking for love and when it felt like this may have been the last opportunity, I'm hurt once again. Nobody knows how many times that situation happened, how many times those things hurt. Because when you're closed in emotionally and physically, how can you help somebody who won't let you help them? And that's mom, you love her, you appreciate her, you're going to miss her, and all those other things. But what you cannot do is carry this burden around in your life. Now, what you've got to do is come out of the situation and be determined to not make any of those mistakes. Be willing to open up, to share, to confront issues of trauma in your own life, abuse in your own life, and say, "What do I need to do so I can be a better person, better parent, better companion? And not to open myself up".

I like to define life like this, it's the sum total who you spend it with. And it's the people around in our lives that make our lives. And she was certainly a part of your life, it was your mom. And so, when that happens and she's not there, that's a piece of your life that left as well, but it's not your fault. You did not kill her, you are not responsible for her suicide. You are her daughter, and the legacy in you now must be revealed to others in how you will be a blessing to other people. You got to let that go. How do you feel about yourself? How do you value yourself since that happened?

Tasha Diorr: Since then, I broke a lot of chains. I broke a lot of generational curses. I guess the way that we grew up in, because my mom was so distant, I make sure that I give my daughters, I mean give my daughter and my sons, my kids the love that they're supposed to need. I'm very big on self-love. I love myself, I love myself to death. My kids come first, so I kind of live through them and I kind of live for them. So, yeah.

Creflo Dollar: Why have you chosen to love yourself? Because this young lady right by you, she suffered with being devalued. And when she loves herself and when she doesn't allow other people to devalue her, she's an extremely successful businesswoman, she's happy, she's sky's the limit. We'd like to hear from you, what decision did you make and why did you make the decision to on purpose love yourself? Because I think that's what you've done, you've made the decision to on purpose to love you.

Shawn Troy: Absolutely.

Creflo Dollar: Yeah.

Tasha Diorr: Actually, that's another thing because for the situation of my mom, I choose to love myself first versus I guess finding a man to love me. Because I feel like that's what society teaches us women, to find another person to love us, or find a man to love us when we should be taught to love ourselves first. So, I went through a divorce back in 2012. So, when I went through my divorce, I made sure I went in isolation, I kind of went in isolation. I meditated every day, I prayed every day. It was basically about self-love because I was in a marriage, a relationship for 22 years, and I was basically doing some of the things that my mom was doing. Basically, you know, catch him with a women, you act out. So, when you're doing things like that, you don't have any love for yourself. So, I had to go back and take a look and unlearn a lot of things that, you know, I was taught growing up that this is not the right way. So, I went back and I taught myself the correct way.

Creflo Dollar: What you just said is so good. When you love yourself, you don't have to go and act a fool with a man who just showed out on you. You know, when you love yourself, and you can relate with this 'cause you called... what do we call him? Bubba or whatever we...

Creflo Dollar: Waldo. You caught Waldo in a situation a couple of times.

Shawn Troy: Several times.

Creflo Dollar: Yeah. And when you really love yourself, it's like I don't have to go and act a fool. When I love myself, it's like, "Okay, bye". You know, I'm not going to get even, I'm going to get paid. And that's when you have a high esteem of yourself. But when you don't love yourself, then you may act like that ghetto chick. And the only thing you're showing people is, "I don't really love me". But when you love yourself, you say, "I love myself too much to allow you to cause me to act a certain way, carry myself a certain way, or I'm not going to allow you to devalue yourself".

I told my daughters this and I said, "Listen, you got to make sure that you're not treated like a bunch of rocks on top of the ground. You got to allow yourself to be treated like valuable diamonds that you have to dig deep for in order to discover". And that simply means if a person does not want to respect you and value you, my advice to them when they all graduated from high school was don't allow anybody, not just another man, but don't allow anybody to devalue you because if a person wants to devalue you, then they don't respect you, and the relationship is going to end up being toxic anyway.

I also find it interesting that through your own experience, you may have stumbled on some of the very reasons why your mother committed suicide, a lack of self-love. If you would see how she responded when she was betrayed and hurt, it would give you an understanding of, "Oh my goodness. She allowed herself to be devalued until she began to agree with being devalued". And when a person gets to that particular point where they find no value or significance in their own life, it becomes difficult to exist because she's like, "I just don't like me".

So, I want to encourage everybody who's watching this broadcast right now is that you've got to operate in a place where you value who you are. The Bible says, "Don't think higher of yourself than you ought to think, but neither should you think lower of yourself than what you ought to think". It uses the word, "Be of sober mind". And it's so important that you value who God made you. You value who you are, you value and understand you are significant. And you bring something to the table, that you are smart, you are intelligent, you are beautiful. Sometimes, you got to look in the mirror and say, "Look at you. Good gracious alive, boy".

You have to do that, it may sound silly, but if you don't accept responsibility for valuing yourself, why in the world would you expect for somebody else to do that for you? As a leader, one of the things I look for, I look for people who are willing to make investments in their own lives. 'Cause if you're not really willing to make an investment in you, why should I be willing to make an investment in you? And so, this is so important, this is so valuable. I so appreciate these two ladies being on this couch today sharing what they share with you. I hope you heard it, you're responsible for it now. What will you do? What will you do?

Don't let any man or woman devalue you, don't let the relationship devalue you, don't let a job devalue you. Do not allow yourself to be devalued by anything or anybody because you are very significant in the plan of God. You're very valuable to what God wants to do on the planet, and you bring something to the table. You have something to offer. There may be some people that don't appreciate you, but you are appreciated, you are highly favored, you are the apple of God's eye. You are beautifully and wonderfully made, and you have to tell yourself, you have to tell yourself. And I'm talking to the guys too. I mean, maybe you might look like you're about three months pregnant, suck it in and say, "Somebody like this". You understand? Oh, do you appreciate our guests today? I've got something I would like to share with the both of you just to remember the time that we spent. It's to Shawn and Tasha. It says:

I accept this grace covenant provided to me by Creflo Dollar and agree with the following statements. I believe Jesus loves me and nothing will ever change that. I believe that grace of the person of Jesus Christ has already provided everything I will ever need to have a healthy and fulfilling, prosperous life. I believe everything in my past is in my past. Jesus has chosen not to remember it, and neither will I. I will daily proclaim I am the righteousness of God. I will daily live by the belief of understanding grace empowering change to better equip myself for success and to better serve those individuals around me. I will daily flood my life with the Word of God and the praises of his saints.

And there's an area here I'm going to sign witnessing this under pastor and encourager, and then I'm going to give this to the both of you to sign under the righteousness of God because that's exactly who you are. You are the righteousness of God, amen? Would you give them a big hand clap?
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