Creflo Dollar - What Are You Waiting For?
When Alfred Duncan proposed to his girlfriend, Sherrell, and threw her a wedding all in the same day, it became the love story of the year seen around the world when it went viral on social media with more than 27 million hits. My guest waited for four years for her boyfriend to finally pop the question and, just like many couples, the Duncans went through their fair share of ups and downs, highs and lows. But in the end, they managed to come out on top together. They're here with us today to share the parts of their love story you haven't heard. Let's welcome Alfred and Sherrell Duncan, also known by their hashtag as #ForeverDuncan.
Creflo Dollar: Twenty-seven million hits says to me that people are really hungry for romance and love. Just how you went through this whole deal, was this... well, let me ask you, was it love at first sight for the both of you?
Alfred: No, no.
Creflo Dollar: So now you're getting ready to tell us the other side.
Alfred: Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it definitely wasn't love at first sight. To be honest with you, I didn't like my wife. I knew of her. She was a very popular person in our area where we live. I just didn't like her. I didn't like the character that I saw via social media and what she stood for at that time. She was a model. She owned a modeling agency and she was also a club promoter and so she would just, like, really let loose.
Sherrell: Tread light, baby.
Alfred: You see?
Creflo Dollar: Oh, we're gonna have some fun here today.
Alfred: She was just that loose on social media and, you know, I just didn't see her as a woman of substance at that time.
Creflo Dollar: So, Sherrell, before that red light turned green, you began a personal journey.
Creflo Dollar: Tell us about it.
Sherrell: Well, after I had my daughter, yay, shout out to her. After I had her in 2010, I lost my business. Like he said, I owned a modeling agency, I did club promotions and things like that. And once I got pregnant I got really sick and I couldn't manage by business so my business had plummeted. So after I had my baby I had to go to work and I'd never been the type of person that worked for anyone so I was very depressed about losing my business and I started abusing alcohol. I became very depressed. It was a very tough time for me. I gained over 100 pounds what put me up to over 300 pounds. I tried to commit suicide twice. I had a mild heart attack and that's when my life took a turn.
Creflo Dollar: Wow.
Sherrell: Yeah, so in January of 2013 I started my fitness journey and I lost over 100 pounds. And that's when he was checking me out.
Alfred: So this is...
Sherrell: Checking me out.
Alfred: This is how amazing God is because through 2007 through 2010, I didn't like who she stood for and then when she went on her fitness journey she posted it on social media and she posted a picture of her being 300-plus pounds. And she say, you know, I'm not sure exactly what she said but she basically said, "Lord, help me. I wanna do this, blah, blah, blah". And that's when I started to pay attention. And as I watched her, the things that I didn't like about her started to shed with the weight. So her discouraging women started to turn into her encouraging women. And her being a woman who I considered one that didn't have substance, you just started seeing God just pour substance in her...
Sherrell: You are turning me on, I'm sorry.
Alfred: So that's when I started paying attention to my wife. She's always been beautiful but...
Creflo Dollar: So he knows how to make deposits in the love bank, huh?
Sherrell: Listen, listen, I'm telling you, I'm so glad we married. Shout out to Jesus for that.
Creflo Dollar: So when did y'all become an official couple?
Sherrell: Tell him the day. You know the date.
Alfred: The date was July the 2nd of 2014.
Creflo Dollar: That's pretty powerful.
Sherrell: He know the dates. He's a serious man.
Alfred: No, she just pour it in my head all the time, that's all. But, yeah, before that, though, we were quote, unquote, "courting", and that was, like, that was a tough time.
Sherrell: It was rough. It was rough. I'm sorry, baby.
Alfred: No, you gotta do it.
Sherrell: I wanted him so bad. I had never in my life had a conversation with a man that just, it just magnified his personality and I never saw that before. He was so different. At first, I honestly thought he was corny, back in the day, but then the conversations were very simple but deep and I'd noticed at that moment I always had surface conversations and I never had deep conversations with men in the relationships that I was in. And I immediately fell in love with him. And I was, like, "What is going on? I don't deal with dudes like this. You know, I deal with, like, not this", you know what I mean? And it just was like...
Creflo Dollar: What are you saying, you thought he was...
Sherrell: He was just in tune with, because I used to refer to myself as Sherrella Lovella, but he was just like my family. He was wanting to pull out of me, me, and trying to just embrace the I don't have to create this illusion for him as I did for the public and for the entertainment. Just be you, and I'll accept you for that.
Creflo Dollar: So even though you guys were a couple, describe some of the ups and downs and breakups and all this kind of thing. Because this sounds like a great fairytale but the reality is it really takes some work to develop a relationship.
Alfred: So, yeah, the fairytale's at the end. Happily ever after is at the end. Like, everything else leading up to that actually creates that fairytale.
Creflo Dollar: So, you know, you made a decision. Of course, I believe you knew a lot sooner that this was your husband.
Sherrell: Yes, I did.
Creflo Dollar: But you didn't feel the same way, right? And if not, how long did it take you before you were sure that she was your wife?
Alfred: So, okay, I told you we've been through ups and downs so one weekend we spent a whole weekend together. It was an amazing weekend. I've never had this much fun with a woman in my life, you know? And so this was the day that I decided to tell her, you know, I really love you. So I wake up, I get in the shower 'cause I have to go to work. She leaves to go to do her personal training. While I'm in the shower, I take a long shower so the shower's, like, 30 minutes, she sends a text message while I'm in the shower confessing her love to me. Now she feels comfortable so she's confessing her love to me.
Alfred: Now, mind you, I'm in the shower. So after the first 15 minutes I guess she didn't get a response so she sends another text message. So when I get out the shower, I have two text messages on my phone. I look at my text messages. She, "How I love you, blah, blah". I'm smiling and all of that 'cause I'm about to tell her the same thing. Then I go to the second text message. It says, "Lose my number". "Lose my number, I can't believe I did this with you, and blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah". So, you know, I...
Sherrell: He didn't answer quick enough.
Alfred: So I didn't respond but after that we started spending a greater amount of time together.
Sherrell: No, we didn't talk for about four months.
Alfred: Yeah, we didn't talk for, like, four months but then when we came back.
Creflo Dollar: Y'all didn't talk, like, four months after that?
Sherrell: Yeah, after that, we didn't talk for four months.
Alfred: There was a lot of, like, month breakups.
Creflo Dollar: So what brought y'all back together after four months?
Alfred: It was just... we just...
Sherrell: Well, I was doin' a fitness demo at this thing in D.C. It's like a big festival and he saw me and he was on the other side of the gate. They have, like, music there. There's a lot of stuff going on. It's a very popular festival. And I was doing a demo there and he called my phone and I looked and I was, like, "Oh".
Alfred: Mind you, I'm at the gate, so she's...
Sherrell: He can see me.
Alfred: I can see her, I'm calling her, and I'm looking at her response at the phone. She's doing all of this: "Oh my God".
Sherrell: And so it got to, like, the last ring and I had to answer it so I answered it and he was, like, "Look to your left", and I looked over and I seen him on a bike on the other side of the fence and I walked over to him. And I was just being nasty and petty.
Sherrell: I didn't wanna be like that, though.
Alfred: Very nasty and petty.
Sherrell: It hurt me to be like that. Honestly, at that moment my heart was just, like, "Stop. Just let go", you know? "It's over, you're done", you know? But I just couldn't. So he's seen how nasty I was being and he just like, "All right, man, I'll holler at you later".
Alfred: And then I went home and then...
Sherrell: And then tell 'em what happened, baby.
Alfred: And then 30 minutes later, you know that one that "Tell 'em how you feel", that person called me and said, "Yeah, would you like to go get something to eat"?
Sherrell: And what did you say?
Alfred: And I said, "Yeah".
Alfred: And then...
Sherrell: We were back. We were back.
Alfred: And ever since then we were, yeah, we've been together. We've been together.
Creflo Dollar: Okay, so you guys are back together. You've gone through all of that. I don't have a name for what y'all just went through.
Alfred: I don't either.
Creflo Dollar: But you've gone through all of that and now you make this decision that you're preparing to pop the big question. Take us on that journey, all the way to the altar.
Alfred: So I was, like, I already know she's gonna be my wife. She already knows that I'm gonna propose. Let me take it a step higher and just marry her 'cause there's no point in proposing to her and then waiting three months.
Creflo Dollar: So you proposed and had the wedding all in the same day?
Alfred: Yeah, we normally go to this restaurant and it has, like, a secluded area with a closed door and my family and her family was already there. So we came and had lunch and then, after that, I went into the room. She didn't see me go in the room and I told her daughter to go out and get her. So her daughter went out and get her. By this time, she already knows what's going on as far as a proposal. So she comes in the room and then I proposed to her. Well, instead of giving her a ring, I give her a business card for the concierge at this very big hotel in D.C., and they were in on it too. She then goes to the hotel. Now, my wife is very habitual with her hair, her makeup, her nails. She goes to the same people all over, like, every single time. So, and then also we are brand ambassadors of a fashion company in our area and so she actually designed her dress without knowing it. What I did was convince the owner of the clothing line to convince her that she was creating this dress or this line for...
Sherrell: Thick and curvy women.
Alfred: So for the, like...
Sherrell: Three months.
Alfred: Yeah, two to three months, she was coming, taking measurements, asking her...
Sherrell: And I was creating fabric.
Creflo Dollar: Ah, and the whole time she's creating her dress.
Alfred: Yeah, the whole time she's creating her dress. So when she went to the hotel, you know, all of her clients and friends were there and they were celebrating with her and they told her that she was gonna get ready to take a engagement photo shoot. But while she's there, everybody starts pouring in. Her makeup artists pours in, her head pours in, her nail person pours in, and then the dress comes in. And so she's putting all of this stuff on, thinking that she's just going to a photo engagement shoot. And so then they put blindfolds on her and told her that she can't see the location in which she was going. Then they drove her to the location. Now, I was already at the location.
Sherrell: Along with 300 other people.
Alfred: Yeah, it was 300 people. I told them that this was like a surprise birthday where we have to be silent when she pulls up. But when, you know, they take the blindfolds off, we're not gonna yell, "Surprise". The music is just gonna start playing and then we're gonna go with the procession and I mean it worked to a T. It worked to a T.
Creflo Dollar: That took a lot of planning, a lot of strategy, and a whole lot of love, to bring it together. All right, from your perspective, you're going through this and you're there. They remove the blind. Tell us about that moment. I mean, the moment when you realize what was going on.
Sherrell: Well, I told my husband the only desires that I had, 'cause I just wanted to go to the Justice of the Peace. I was just ready to marry him. I told him we would get married in our bed. But he wouldn't, I told him the only things that I wanted was I wanted my dad to give me away and I wanted my granny to live to see me get married. And when they took the blindfold off, gosh, okay.
Alfred: You got a tissue...
Sherrell: I know, just relax. I took the blindfold, when they took the blindfold off and I saw my dad in a suit, my dad wears shorts all year round, like. And I saw my dad, I literally was about to... I knew that I was about to get married 'cause he was in a suit. And I honestly, the first thing I could think about was, "Thank you for speaking to him, God. Thank you for staying with him. Thank you for showing him the way". And I was so proud of him. The wedding was awesome but I was so proud of my husband. You did all of this for me. You love me this much.
Creflo Dollar: Value, huh?
Sherrell: Yes, I was blown away.
Creflo Dollar: This is so awesome; now, look, when we come back, we're gonna meet a couple who has been dating for eight years and still haven't tied the knot. She's waiting and asking, "What are you waiting for"? Stay tuned. Their story is next.
Creflo Dollar: Welcome back; now what would you consider the appropriate amount of time for a dating couple to get married? Would it be one year, two years, three years? Well, Anthony and Krissy have been dating nearly eight years, even though they would say they fell in love only months after they met and are convinced they want to spend the rest of their lives together. It's to the point that friends, family, and even Krissy have been wondering, "What are you waiting for"? Well, today we're going to find out. Ladies and gentlemen, please meet Anthony and Krissy.
Creflo Dollar: Let's start with you. Krissy, what was it that took you from being friends to dating?
Krissy: His commitment to being my friend, first of all. When all other friends turned against me and left me during my darkest time 'cause the year before, I had just lost my dad. So I was going through a lot, you know, trying to figure out myself and how I was gonna go on after this tremendous loss because it's never easy to lose a parent. So he came at just the right time for me 'cause he was easy to talk to. We had a lot of things in common so I was, like, okay, he's my friend so let's see where's this gonna go. How much further can we take this and here we are, eight years later. Friends until the end.
Creflo Dollar: That laugh that you have right there. There's so much behind that laugh.
Krissy: Oh, there's quite a bit.
Creflo Dollar: What about you, Anthony, what took you from friendship to the place that you guys are today?
Anthony: Basically, the same thing. We was just spending a whole bunch of time together, like, there was nowhere else I wanted to be. We was always hanging together and I don't even think it was a question, like, do you wanna be girlfriend and boyfriend, just was something that just happened, like. It was a... well, what would you call it? We both just knew that it was definitely about to happen. Like, we was definitely gonna be boyfriend and girlfriend so.
Creflo Dollar: So you guys were pretty transparent with one another?
Anthony: Yeah, exactly.
Creflo Dollar: And you can kind of talk about anything?
Anthony: We both wanted the same thing so.
Creflo Dollar: So when did you know you were in love with him and wanted to be married to him one day?
Krissy: It was after I took him to the Queen and the Co-Queen in training, my mom and sister.
Creflo Dollar: Okay, 'cause I thought y'all went to London there for a moment, you know?
Krissy: Oh, no, no, no. My mom and sister, it's like, of course, I had to feel him out, figure him out, you know, see what he was all about before I took him to the final step and so once he made their approval I was, like, okay, he's a keeper.
Creflo Dollar: You know I gotta ask this question. The frustration that you've experienced concerning when are you... it's been eight years, dude. When are you going to propose? Do you need me to do it? When are you gonna propose to me?
Krissy: Oh yeah, and it has been and he'll joke about this all the time. He say, "Well, it's 2016. The women can do it now". I say, "Okay, do not be surprised when I come in here with my box and get on my one knee and be, like, 'Okay, so we gonna do this or what?' Like, don't be surprised, so".
Creflo Dollar: But it's something about the hunt. The man, you know, going on the hunt, man, and not robbing that away from him because it's like the day you rob him of that, then that's gonna go into marriage and you'll be doing that the whole time.
Creflo Dollar: It's almost like that other saying that says, "Why in the world am I gonna", I think it goes like this, you know, "Why pay for the milk when I bought the cow", or something like that. It's the same deal. And so this has been a very serious source of frustration. I mean, you love him and everything but eight years, I'm telling you, that's like, so awesome to still be with somebody for eight years. That's pretty awesome. So, Anthony, I got like this big question. You know what I'm gonna ask you, right? What are... join me, ready?
All together: What are you waiting for?!
Anthony: Well, you know, it is... and we trying to get back into church and get back better with God with each other as a couple. So I wanna work on that and I think today I wanna take one of the steps to, you know, get us out of sin, you know?
Creflo Dollar: Ohhh-kay.
Male: You ready, you ready?
Creflo Dollar: Let me give you some room.
Audience: Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it!
Anthony: Kristen Archao Dixon, my other half, love of my life, will you please be my wife?
Krissy: Yes. Oh my gosh.
Anthony: Okay, did it go on? We'll resize it.
Krissy: Think we've gotta resize. Oh my goodness. Thank you. I cannot believe you did that.
Anthony: What? I thought you weren't gonna cry on TV.
Krissy: I was not expecting it.
Creflo Dollar: That was so smooth, man. Congratulations.
Anthony: Thank you so much.
Creflo Dollar: That was so smooth, what?
Creflo Dollar: Okay, I want you to respond. Were you expecting that?
Krissy: No, not at all. You know it's all said and done with now, right?
Anthony: What? That's just an engagement ring.
Krissy: Thank you, I mean, I'm in a state of shock right now. I went from being nervous to, like, I'm shocked, like, I don't even have words right now.
Anthony: What? Love you.
Krissy: I love you too. Oh, my goodness.
Creflo Dollar: You get to marry your best friend. And that's, I mean, you get to wake up with your best friend. You get to do all these things with your best friend and the great thing about it is being together and getting older together. I love my wife more now after 30-something years than when I first met her. Why? Because I can't imagine living in this earth without her. And I think you both have found the person you can't live without, you know? That's so important that we celebrate marriage institution. We celebrate the institution of marriage.
I told you today's program was going to be a special one. Aren't you glad you're watching? You know, making the decision to walk down the aisle is a big life decision. As Sherrell and Alfred mentioned, not only did they go to pre-marital counseling, they also decided to wait until marriage and practice abstinence. By deciding to wait, they took the time to get to know each other and make sure God was at the center in their relationship and, as a result, are happily married today. Now, if you're thinking about getting married, or even if you've already tied the knot, there are some things you can do to continue to build trust, healthy communication, and a relationship that will last the test of time. Here's how.