Craig Smith - You Are Not Your Pain

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So I want to talk to you today a little bit about the role of our emotions in making decisions. And I’m kind of curious how many of you would say, «I’m a very emotional person. I’m an emotional decision maker.» How many of you are sitting next to somebody who should have raised their hand but did not? Yeah. How many of you would say, «I’m not really an emotional person. I’m like Spock. I’m just… I’m just logic.» A few people. And some of you are sitting next to a person who didn’t raise their hand. You’re like, «Yeah, you just didn’t feel the need to raise your hand.»

But here’s the thing about emotions I want to make sure we understand. Emotions aren’t bad. Okay? Emotions are not a bad thing. In fact, emotions are a gift from God. They’re intended to bless us in a variety of ways. But the problem is that, like everything that is good that God gifted us with, sin has twisted it. And so sometimes what happens with emotions, even though they are intended to be good, they can actually get in the way of the good things God has for us. This is true of all good things that God has given us — God gifted it to us, and sin twisted it in us so that it doesn’t do what it was meant to do.

Sometimes what we need to do is rediscover what God has to say about how we handle some of these things that have been twisted by sin. We’re going to take a look at a passage today that will give us some clues on how to do that. If you want to follow along, we’re going to be in John chapter 20, starting in verse 10. What we’re going to see in this passage is one that contains a lot of emotion. It’s not necessarily heavy on theology or philosophy, but it’s rich in emotion. As we look at these emotions, there is a variety here-some of them are very natural, and some of them are even good-but they all have the potential to get in the way of something else good that God wants to do. I’m going to try to give you some help in thinking about the role of our emotions in our decisions, especially regarding our faith.

Now, let’s pick up where we left off. If you were with us last week, you may remember; if not, let me catch you up. Mary Magdalene has taken a step of faith. She went early in the morning to the tomb where Jesus had been laid, with the goal of preparing the body for its final burial. But when she got there, she found that the stone had been rolled away. So she ran to get Peter and another apostle, and they ran. One of them reached the edge of the tomb and stopped. We talked about the fact that sometimes fear says «stop,» and then Peter showed up. Peter went further; he took another step. That’s what happens-fear says «stop» and faith says, «You have to take another step.»

When Peter stepped in, he saw some strange things. He saw that the linens were not as they expected. They hadn’t been torn off as if grave robbers had taken them; they were actually folded up neatly and laid down. They also saw that the head covering was still almost wrapped as it should have been, but somehow the head wasn’t there. None of that really made any sense. Here’s where we pick up: then, in verse 10, it says, «Then the disciples went back to where they were staying.»

I want you to underline those words: «went back.» Where did they go? It’s going to be one of those days, is it? Okay, let’s try it again. Where did they go? They went back. That’s actually a really important part of this passage. They went back. Where did they go back to? Well, the NIV says they went back to where they were staying. That’s actually a bit of an assumption. The original Greek, in which this is written, is not very easy to translate here, so different translations express it differently. But the bottom line is that what John is telling us is that they went back to something familiar. They went back to something familiar.

Now it could be they went back to where they had been staying for the last week or so, to that familiar place where they had been hanging out. It’s possible; it’s what the NIV kind of assumes. Other translations translate it this way: they say they went back to their own homes. That’s another possible way to translate it because the Greek is a little vague. Some translations just leave it very vague, like it is in the original Greek, and they say they went back to their own. But of course, you’re like, «Well, their own what?» Right? It could be all kinds of different things.

But the point is they went back to something familiar. It might have been where they had been staying; it might have been their own homes; it might have actually been their old way of life. It’s interesting. Not long after this, Jesus, after having risen from the dead, goes to find them to set them on their course, on their mission. And you know where he finds them? You know what they were doing? They were fishing because they had been fishermen before Jesus found them and called them to become fishers of men. But they went back. They went back to what was familiar. So that may be going on here as well.

Now, why would they do that? Because they were confused. They were confused about what was going on. They were uncertain about what it meant and what was happening and what this was going to look like. So basically, what they are feeling is a certain emotion, right? It’s an emotion probably most of us are familiar with to one degree or another. And the emotion that I’m talking about is the one that comes whenever we’re facing a future that’s a little uncertain, a future that’s a little unfamiliar. And when we’re not quite sure about the future, there’s a particular kind of fear that we sometimes feel. And what do we call that fear? We call it anxiety. Anxiety is ultimately just the fear of an uncertain future.

Now, here’s the thing about anxiety: it can be totally legit, right? There may be good reasons to be fearful about the future, right? I mean, remember when we were kids? I know it’s family weekend, so kids, you may know this — have you ever had mom come to you and say, «Hey, tomorrow morning, we’re going to go to the doctor’cause you need to get some shots»? And what do you feel in that moment? You maybe feel a little anxiety, right? And by the way, I know parents are always trying to tell kids, «The shot’s not that big a deal. You don’t need to be afraid of that.»

But parents have things they’re afraid of too. Parents will feel the same emotion if somebody tells them, «Tomorrow, you’re going to get a prostate exam.» It’s family weekend, so I’m just giving you guys something to talk about in the car, right? Kids, feel free to ask your dads, «What is a prostate exam?» The answer is-amen!

I want to tell you the answer is: it’s a medical procedure that makes us a little bit anxious, right? Sometimes it’s legit. Some anxiety is legit; we’ve got something coming up that’s legitimately frightening, and we feel anxiety. But sometimes-because remember, God gifted it, but fear twisted it-sometimes we have the same feeling, and honestly, it’s not based on anything concrete. It’s just this kind of open-ended, and so we end up kind of saying, «Yeah, we wrestle with anxiety,» or sometimes we even say things like, «I have anxiety,» and it’s this more generalized thing.

Okay, but here’s the thing: whether it’s legitimate or this kind of maybe not justified sense of anxiety, what anxiety-again, fear of the future — does is kind of the same thing. When we’re afraid of the future, what we do is we tend to fall back on what’s familiar. Are you with me? When we’re afraid of the future, we tend to fall back on what’s familiar. And fear does this a lot. Fear says, «Go back to what’s familiar,» which is exactly what they did. They went back to what was familiar.

Now that’s normal. It’s natural. We’ve all done it, right? We’ve gone back when we try to develop new habits, and we find ourselves in places that we hadn’t been before. We get a little uncomfortable; we get a little fearful. We tend to go back to those habits, even if they’re bad habits, right? Has anybody ever had a habit that you moved away from, and then you ended up going back to it? Yeah, you probably went back to it because you found yourself in a place where there was some uncertainty, some anxiety, and so you went back to it.

I wonder how many of us- you don’t have to raise your hands on this one — but I wonder how many of us have ever gone back to relationships that were familiar, even though they weren’t necessarily good for us. I dated a girl for two years in high school and then in college. And I say dated her, but it wasn’t three years; it was like 15 separate dating episodes because we kept breaking up since we were really bad for each other. We’d break up, and then we’d be like, «Oh boy, trying to find somebody else is hard.»

So we’d go back to what was familiar, right? And then we’d think, «This is terrible.» Well, we’d break up, and then it would be like, «I don’t want to be alone. Let’s go back to what’s familiar.» Does anybody kind of know what I’m talking about? Yeah. I remember one time my girlfriend broke up with me because she met this woman, and this woman said, «Hey, you’ve got to stop falling back to what’s familiar. You just have to break up and never get back together.» It was like she was channeling her inner Taylor Swift long before there was a Taylor Swift, right? This woman told her, «You just have to stop falling back to what’s familiar.»

So she broke up with me, and then she got into another place where, boy, other people were not as good as me; I think that’s really what was happening. She got a little afraid, and so we got back together. Then I eventually heard the Lord speak to me, saying, «You have to stop doing this. You’re not good for each other. You bring the worst out of each other.» So I had to kind of grow up a little bit and say, «Hey, we’re never ever getting back together.» And I didn’t; I never dated her. Instead, I dated the woman who told her to break up with me. That’s Kleta. It really was. She- I don’t think she did it so she could get me; she’s never admitted that anyway. But she knew what a lot of us know, which is we have this tendency to fall back to what’s familiar when things get scary.

Now here’s the problem with that: When we go back, we miss out. You hear me, church? When God’s calling us into something and we go back because what He’s calling us into is unfamiliar, we miss out. When we go back, we miss out. In fact, look at somebody next to you and say, «If you go back, you’re going to miss out.»

Now, now you look at them and say, «If you go back, you’re going to miss out.» When we go back, we miss out. Right? I think of Israel at the edge of the Promised Land. It’s an amazing thing God was leading them into. And then they saw how big some of the people were, and they said, «We need to go back. We need to go back to Israel and go back to Egypt,» which is terrible because they were slaves in Egypt. But sometimes we are willing to accept the uncomfortable over the unfamiliar. Sometimes we accept the uncomfortable because it is familiar, and there’s something in us that anxiety says is better. And so they missed that whole generation; they missed out, right?

I think of the rich young ruler who came to Jesus one day and said, «What do I have to do to inherit eternal life?» And Jesus said, «I want to give that to you. I’m here to give that to you.» But he looked at this man, and the Bible says that he looked at him and loved him. He loved him, and because he loved him, he looked deeply into him and saw that his wealth had a hold on him. It’s never about how much money we have; it’s about how much our money has a hold on us. And so he said, «You’re not going to be able to follow me into all the things that I have.» So he said, «You need to sell everything you have and give to the poor, and then come follow me.»

And the man, it says, went away sad. He went back-literally, he went back sad because he had great wealth. But it wasn’t that he had great wealth; his great wealth had a great hold on him. And so he went back, and he didn’t get what God had for him. He missed out. Or maybe you know the story of Lot and his wife. They were living in Sodom and Gomorrah, and God, because of the wickedness of Sodom and Gomorrah, was bringing destruction upon it. But he saved Abram’s nephew, Lot, and his wife and his family, and they ran. But Lot’s wife looked-guess where she looked back? She looked, and it’s not just that she glanced back; there was a longing to it. And so even — not even going back, even just looking back at what she’d been delivered from caused her to be overtaken by the very destruction that God was working to deliver her from. When we go back, we miss out.

And so here’s one of the things we begin to say to the voice of anxiety that says, «Hey, there’s a future, and God’s calling you forward into the future.» But anxiety says, «Don’t do that.» Here’s what we say: " If I go back, I’ll miss out.» Does that make sense? It doesn’t mean that we deny the feeling is there, but we’re not going to let it define our actions. Right? So what we say is, " If I go back, I’ll miss out.» Can we practice it? Let’s say it together: «If I go back, I’ll miss out.» So when the voice of anxiety says, «Go back,» what do we say? We say, «If I go back, I’ll miss out.»

And here’s the incredible thing: sometimes you don’t even have to go forward; you just have to not go back. Check this out: Now Mary stood outside the tomb crying. Where did she go? Nowhere. She stayed put. She just didn’t go back. And as she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb, and she saw two angels in white seated where Jesus’s body had been-one at the head and the other at the foot. She didn’t go back; she just stayed put. And sometimes, honestly, that’s all it takes. Sometimes you don’t have to take these amazing steps of faith. You don’t have to overcome your fear or feed your faith enough that it’s just a little bit bigger than your fear so you can move forward into something unfamiliar.

Sometimes you’ve already taken a step; you’re in a new place. You’ve already come to a place that you really had a hard time believing you were ever going to be. And like her, she acted in faith. She came in the night, even though there was a real possibility the Romans were going to be there, ready to arrest her and any other followers of Jesus so they could really get rid of this uprising that was going on. Right? She had already taken a step of faith, and now all she did was stay.

See, last week we talked about the fact that fear says stop and faith says take another step. Can I just tell you that sometimes fear says go back and faith just says stay put? Stay in that marriage, even though it’s not what you dreamed it would be. Stay in counseling together, even though it hasn’t produced the results that you were looking for. Stay in school, even though you’re not loving it.

Stay in that life group, even though you haven’t really connected with them. Keep going to church, even though God hasn’t shown himself to you in a way that’s turned your life around. Keep reading the Bible, even though sometimes, honestly, it’s kind of dry and you read it and you’re like, «I don’t even know that I fully got it, but I’m supposed to put God’s word in me, so I’m just going to stay put.» Fear says go back, and sometimes faith just says stay put. And staying put allows you to see amazing things. I mean, let’s just think about it: She stayed put. So what did she see? Two angels.

How many of us would like to see one angel? She got to see two. And throughout the Bible, there are actually only a handful of people who ever saw angels. Sometimes I think we read the Bible and see angels popping up every now and then, thinking they just showed up a lot back then. No, they only wrote about it when they showed up. Nobody’s going to say, «Day one, no angels. Day two, see day one.» You write about it when these kinds of things happen. Okay, so this is rare; it’s even rare in the Bible. And it’s very rare to see more than one. Most people see one. Mary got to see two! She’s got bragging rights forever. She’s going to meet people and say, " Oh, you saw an angel? I saw two at the same time.»

And it’s not just that she sees angels; she sees something really, really interesting. John specifically says they were seated one at the head and one at the foot. For us, because we’re not Jewish and don’t have Jewish symbols or ways of thinking, we don’t really understand the significance of that. But for a Jewish person, that would have immediately made her think of something called the mercy seat. Okay? Now the mercy seat was part of the Ark of the Covenant. Remember the Ark of the Covenant? Like, remember Raiders of the Lost Ark? The lid came off, and everybody’s faces melted. That’s what we’re talking about. Okay, that’s all Hollywood, but the Ark is real. They kept the Ten Commandments in it. They kept some of the manna that God had provided while they were wandering through the desert in it. And at the top of the Ark, there was something called the mercy seat.

And out of the mercy seat-this is so cool — flowed the forgiveness of God. When the high priest would go in once a year and offer the sacrifices for the forgiveness of the people, the forgiveness would flow from the mercy seat. The Bible describes that the mercy seat had two things on either side of it, one at the head and one at the foot. And guess what the two things were? They were angels — carvings of cherubim angels. So for a Jewish person to see there was an angel on either side of where Jesus had laid as a sacrifice, the immediate association should have been that Jesus paid for our forgiveness. Jesus went to the cross so that all of our sin could be wiped away, and He’s gone now. The body’s gone, which means that it’s done. It’s over. It’s finished, and it’s permanent. We’re not going to keep coming back over and over again.

She got to see something pretty cool. Can we just acknowledge that? Something pretty cool. There’s something else, though, that John tells us about her that I want to make sure we don’t miss. She was feeling a lot of emotion. He specifically says, «Now Mary stood outside the tomb crying.» And then he says, «And as she wept.» It’s the same Greek word. By the way, it’s a word that means anguished sobbing. It’s not a sniffly, " I’m a little sad.» It’s wailing. It’s weeping. It’s an anguished sobbing that comes from the soul.

And it’s interesting; he says it twice, right? He emphasizes how much emotion she’s feeling. He says, «Yeah, she stood outside the tomb sobbing. And as she was sobbing.» He doesn’t need to say that. He could have just said, «She stood outside the tomb sobbing, and she leaned over and saw this.» But he wants to make sure we don’t miss it. She was sobbing, and as she was sobbing. So two times, we have this depth of emotion mentioned, and he’s actually setting us up for something that’s going to happen a little bit later.

What we’re going to see is that Jesus is trying to help her deal with the emotion so that it doesn’t get her stuck. Because here’s the thing: emotion is not a bad thing. But like every other good thing God gifted, sin has twisted it. And even when it’s appropriate-and it is appropriate — can we just be real about that? Her sobbing is appropriate. She’s not being a hysterical person. She’s not being overly emotional. She’s lost Jesus. She’s lost a man who sent seven demons that had been oppressing her for years. He sent them away with a word. He is the Messiah! He was the one that they were all pinning all of their hopes on. And now he’s dead. And now the body is gone! They can’t even honor him with the final burial. Her depth of emotion is absolutely appropriate. Nobody can blame her for it. She cannot be blamed for this level of emotion.

But here’s what you need to understand: Just because she can’t be blamed for it doesn’t mean she’s not burdened by it. And the depth of emotion that she’s feeling is actually keeping her from recognizing something. She sees something amazing: two angels, one at the head and one at the foot. And listen to this: And so they asked her, «Woman, why are you crying?»

Now, do you think they have some idea why she’s crying? Of course they do. But they also know what’s going on, right? They know what happened, but they also know what’s happening, and they’re trying to move her focus from what has happened to what is happening. And so they’re trying to help her deal with this emotion, to see her way through it and outside the other side of it. So they say, «Woman, why are you crying?» And listen to her response: «They have taken my Lord away,» she said, «and I don’t know where they’ve put him.» Which, by the way, is exactly the same thing that she said the first time we looked at the passage right before this last week to Peter and the other apostles. She said, «They’ve taken his body away; they don’t know where they’ve put it.»

And what we’re being shown is simply this: some of us have felt this. We’ve experienced it because it happens a lot. It’s that sometimes our grief over what has happened can blind us to what is happening. Do you hear me, church? Sometimes our grief over what has happened blinds us to what is happening. And it doesn’t mean that what has happened is good; it doesn’t mean that it’s not bad. But the Bible says that God can work in the midst of all things, even the bad things, bringing good, bringing good for those who love him and are called according to his purpose. And so even when something bad has happened, something good in God’s hands is happening. But sometimes our grief over what has happened blinds us to what is happening.

Sometimes what we have lost, we are so grieved over that we cannot see that God is in the midst of actually replacing it or giving us something better. When we look, we talked about this last week, sometimes we look at what feels like destruction, and we fail to see that it’s preparation-that he’s preparing the ground to build something better in our lives-and our emotion can keep us from recognizing it. Our emotion can also keep us from experiencing it. And so they’re trying to help her deal with it. There are two angels in front of her arranged in a very powerful configuration that should have spoken to her, but she’s not seeing it. So they’re trying to help her deal with it. They say, «Woman, why are you crying?» And as much as I think they tried to help, I don’t think they were able to because she doesn’t see it. And so Jesus has to step in.

Check this out: So at this, she turned around, which is really interesting, by the way. She turned her back on two angels. If you had two angels in front of you, would you turn your back to them? No. What’s going on? It’s the depth of this emotion. And at this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing in front of her. And don’t miss this: Because she stayed put when Peter and the other one went back, she got to see what they didn’t get to see. She’s the first person to meet the risen Jesus. She saw two angels, and she’s the first person to meet the risen Jesus. She’s got bragging rights for all eternity. I promise you, she’s going to be telling that story when you find her someday.

That was first! She saw Jesus, but she did not realize that it was Jesus. And he asked her, «Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you’re looking for?» And there’s got to be a little playfulness in that, right? «Who are you looking for?» And thinking he was the gardener, she said, «Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.» She didn’t see him because of this emotion, this pain. And again, the pain is reasonable; nobody can blame her for feeling it. But just because she can’t be blamed for it doesn’t mean she’s not burdened by it.

And you see what’s happening? I think it happens to us a lot: our pain can blind us to God’s presence. Our pain can blind us to the presence of the very one that we’re longing to see. And we’re crying out, «God, where are you?» And God’s like, «I’m right here.» But the reality is that pain has blinded us. And again, it’s not that emotion is bad, and please don’t hear that. I’m not saying that because it’s not true. And here’s the thing: I grew up in an era where, honestly, we were kind of told to deny our emotions. I was told growing up, «Boys don’t cry.» Anybody else? You know what telling boys not to cry leads to? Men who are broken and can’t even admit it.

Can I just tell you real men cry real tears, but some of us grew up in an environment where we were told to deny our emotions? And so then we kind of started to realize that’s unhealthy. And so we started swinging the pendulum, right? Anybody ever realize you were doing something wrong, so you’re like, «I got to do it differently,» and you went way too far? I think we’ve done that, right? We swung the pendulum a little too far. We’ve moved from denying it to being defined by it. Whatever your emotion is, that’s who you are, right? You used to be worried. Well, now you have anxiety, and anxiety has you, and that’s just who you are.

And listen, there is clinical anxiety; I’m not saying there’s not. But there are also a lot of people who have been lied to and told instead of denying your emotion, let it start defining you. And we’ve heard that voice. And it’s the voice of the enemy. And God doesn’t want that to be true. Listen to me. What we see happening twice, we’re told she was weeping in deep anguish. Twice an angel asked it, and then Jesus asked it, «What are you crying about? Look around. See what’s happening.» Because listen, God wants to help us deal with our pain. Please hear this: You’re here today, and you’re hurting. God will help you deal with your pain, but he will not let it define you. He will not let it become you. He will call you through it, and she’s struggling with that. And so he tries again. And I love, I love the way he tried again.

So Jesus said to her, «Mary, can you see it? Woman, why are you crying? Who are you looking for?» Oh, you can’t get past the pain, Mary. I love that. And if you’ve ever wanted proof of this thing we say all the time here at Mission Hills, which is that following Jesus isn’t a religion; it’s a relationship, are you going to find a more beautiful picture than that? He doesn’t give her an answer; he speaks her name. He doesn’t chastise her because she’s allowed her emotion to blind her to what’s happening and to his very presence. He just speaks her name. It’s this very personal thing. And I really believe some of you are here today, and you’re caught in pain, and you’re asking questions: «God, why this, and why that, and why didn’t you, and how could this happen, and what am I supposed to do with this?»

And honestly, you’re missing what God is saying to you because it’s not the answer to the questions; it’s just your name. God is calling your name. You know, over the years, I’ve spent a lot of time with people in deep pain, and one of the things that I pray consistently, you know, if it’s healing they need, I pray for healing, whether that’s of the body or of the soul. If it’s God to move in a relationship, I pray for God to move in the relationship. Whatever it is they’re seeking, I pray for them. But then I end with almost always the same thing.

And some of you have heard me pray this over you. I end the prayer; I say, «God, would you show yourself to them in a way that they cannot miss? Would you call their name in a way that they cannot fail to hear it? Because I know you’re always present. You never leave us; you never forsake us. I know that when we are hurting, you are even closer to us. And yet sometimes our pain blinds us to your presence. And so would you break through it? And would you speak to them in a way that they cannot miss?»

I’ve prayed that over hundreds, if not thousands, of people over the years. And sometimes the way it happens is it’s not an answer to a question. I have a friend who wrote a song that has this line I love: It says answers are overrated. God is calling your name. Jesus said to her, «Mary.» And she turned toward him and she cried out in Aramaic, «Raboni,» which means teacher. And apparently, at this point, what she does is she grabs him and holds on to him. Wouldn’t you? And then Jesus said, «Do not hold on to me.»

Man, Jesus is just not very emotionally intelligent, is he? Why would he say that? He said, «Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.» People interpret that mystically; they’re like, «Yeah, I mean, Jesus is holy now, and so, you know, she’s still sinful. He can’t touch her.»

Can I just tell you Jesus was already holy? He didn’t become more holy. I’ve had other people say, «Well, yeah, I mean maybe he’s just in this weird spiritual place. He’s kind of in between the resurrection and the ascension, and spiritually we don’t really know what’s going on.» And I don’t think any of that’s going on. I think it’s pretty simple, actually. He said, «I’ve got a mission for you. I need you to do something.» Which I love because he replaces her mourning with a mission. And that’s powerful. Don’t miss that. Sometimes the best way out of our pain is actually just to embrace the mission that God calls us on. Sometimes the best way out of our suffering is actually to embrace serving others. He has a mission for her. And the problem is she’s holding on to him. She’s holding on to this moment, and so she can’t embrace the mission.

And think about this for a second. We’ve seen anxiety. We have seen pain. We’ve seen grief. But now it’s happiness. She’s overjoyed. And Jesus says, «That’s great. But here’s the problem: happiness can make us hold on to a moment instead of a mission. It’s a good emotion, but it can still become a problem.» I think of the prophet Samuel’s mom, Hannah-get a little Mother’s Day thing in early. She wanted a child, and it took a long time before God delivered. It would have been so easy to say, «I’ve got this baby that I’ve been longing for.» And then she dedicated him to the Lord because God had a mission for that child, and he had a mission for her, which was to, at a certain age, raise a prophet. And she could have said, «Maybe you get the next one, Jesus. But I waited so long; I’ve got to hold on to this child.»

And it would have been happiness. But happiness can make us hold on to a moment instead of a mission. I mean, my parents had to go through that. They didn’t want me to be a pastor. But you know who didn’t want me to be a pastor more than my parents? Kleta’s parents. In fact, when they found out that she was going to get married to a pastor, they cried. And it was not tears of joy. They had to let her go on the mission that God had called her to, even though it was a different moment than they were expecting, even though it wasn’t what they had planned. Sometimes we have to do that. And Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: «I have seen the Lord,» and she told them that he had said these things to her. She embraced the mission.

And there’s just so much emotion in this passage, right? We’ve got anxiety, we’ve got grief, we’ve got pain, we have happiness. But what we’re being told here ultimately is this, and this is the way I like to think of it: Maybe this is good for family weekend. Our feelings are the caboose, not the engine. You know the caboose like on a train? It’s the last little car that comes along, and sometimes it’s painted red and it’s kind of adorable. We still have trains that come through Castle Rock, and so the first thing that comes through is always the-what?

It’s the engine. That’s our faith. Our faith is what pulls us forward, okay? And then sometimes at the very end, there comes a caboose. And I really like the caboose. Every time I see a train go through, I’m waiting for the caboose. And if the train comes by and it doesn’t have a caboose, I feel a little bit cheated. The emotions are great. They’re not bad, but they’re the caboose. They’re not the engine. And sometimes we get them backwards. And sometimes the voice of the enemy says, «Listen to your feelings. Listen to them.» And we go, «Well, I feel this. I feel the fear. I feel the anxiety. What I don’t feel is faith.»

Can I just tell you something? Faith is not a feeling; faith is a decision. It’s not an emotion. So let me just ask you this today: What are your feelings telling you to do or not to do? Where are you in a place in your life where your feelings are saying to do this, but there’s a little voice inside your head called the Holy Spirit that’s saying that that’s not what God wants you to do? Where are your feelings telling you what to do or not to do? And, importantly, what is your faith telling you to do? We’re getting ready to celebrate baptism in a moment.

My guess is I want to offer this: You’re getting baptized. How many of you are a little bit nervous? Maybe there’s been a bit of fear about getting baptized. Would you just throw your hands up? Can we celebrate the fact that they’re here anyway? So proud of you! You see, sometimes what happens is our feelings say stop or go back, and faith says, «Yeah, at the very least you’ve got to stay» or «maybe you need to move forward,» and we find ourselves in that place. By the way, some of you are here today, and you’re not followers of Jesus.

You would say, «I don’t have faith,» but there’s a voice speaking into your head right now that says maybe it’s time to say yes to faith in Jesus. Maybe you have enough faith to take that step. I’ll show you how to do that in a second. Or maybe you’ve said yes to Jesus, but you have not given in to the voice of faith that says it’s time to go public with it through baptism. And can I just tell you today’s the day? In a moment when we start baptism, you just walk over there and talk to Carrie right there. You go to Carrie and say, «I need to do what faith tells me to do,» and you get baptized. We’ve got clothes for you; it’ll be great. You won’t have to go home soaking wet; don’t be afraid of that, okay?

But I told you I’d give you some practical advice. Here’s the thing. Here’s what happens when we find ourselves in this place, stuck between our emotions, our feelings, and our faith. Here’s what we say: We say there’s nothing wrong with my feelings; I feel my feelings. It’s okay to feel your feelings, but I follow my faith. That’s what we say: I feel my feelings, I follow my faith. Are you going to say it with me? Let’s try it together: I feel my feelings, I follow my faith.

One more time: I feel my feelings, I follow my faith. God, would you speak right now? I know that there are feelings, there are emotions, and maybe they’re completely legitimate. But there are people that are stuck because of them. We don’t deny our feelings, but we’re not going to let them define us. We acknowledge what we feel, but what we choose is to follow the voice of faith. And right now, I pray that you would speak to those who are stuck. Some of them need to get baptized right now; some of them need to make other decisions; some of them need to say yes to Jesus.

And if that’s you, by the way, here’s how you do it: You just have this conversation with God right now. It’s not about your feelings; it’s about a trust decision. Say, «God, I’ve sinned, and I’m sorry. Jesus, thank you for dying for me. I believe you rose from the dead. I choose to follow you from here on out. Amen.»