Craig Groeschel - When Social Media Steals Your Joy
Today, I wanna show you a very powerful portion of scripture that’s very relevant for today, even though it was written 2,000 years ago. We’re gonna look at 2 John, which is a very short personal letter from John, who was one of Jesus' disciples. The point at which he was writing this, he was older; he was probably in his mid-80s, maybe even pushing 90, and he was writing from Ephesus to some people that he loved. It was a very intimate letter, and he was telling them how to love one another. And then he was saying, «Watch out for spiritual deception».
If I could tell you something today, in this day, we need to love one another, and we need to watch out for the spiritual deception of our enemy, who comes to steal, kill, and destroy. And this is what he said in 2 John 1:12, he said this. He said, «I have much more to say to you». In other words, this message is not complete. He says, «But I don’t want to do it with paper and ink». He said, «For I hope to visit you soon and talk with you face-to-face».
And I like it. He says, «Then our joy will be complete». «I’ve got more that I wanna say to you, but I can’t just do it in the form of a letter. There are some things that are more intimate than that I wanna be face-to-face. And then when we’re face-to-face, sharing what’s on my heart with you, then our joy will be made completely». He’s saying, «There’s something more that I wanna share with you. It’s my heart, God put it on my heart, but it’s just too special for a letter».
In today’s culture, we might say it’s too intimate for a text or too sacred for a screen because there are some moments that you just have to be face-to-face. When you’re face-to-face, then your joy will be made complete. But sadly, let’s be honest, that is just so much less common today than it once was. I’ll give you an example. My dad died a couple of years ago, and when he did, so many people reached out; it was a little bit overwhelming. I got text, I got prayer emojis, I got heart emojis, and more text and more text and more text and more text and more text. And then a couple of evenings after he died, Amy and I were sitting down in our living room, and the weirdest thing happened. I mean, it was shocking. Someone knocked on our door. And I looked at her like, «Uh, were you expecting anybody? Maybe it’s a Jehovah’s Witness. Well, who would be knocking on our door»?
And I’m gonna show you a picture of Scott Streller. Scott and I met each other. I was 15, he was 16. The first time we played, I beat him in tennis. We agree. He actually thinks there was a time before which he beat me, but I don’t remember that time, strangely at all. And we’ve been friends for years and years, and that was back when you used to have hair that we cover your ears. That’s how old that picture was. It was Scott at the door, and I’m like, «What are you doing here? What’s going on»? And he said, «Man, I’m so sorry about your dad. I just wanted to come over and just sit with you».
Now, I’m not complaining at all. I felt very loved, and I don’t think I would’ve even noticed that no one came to visit if it hadn’t been for the fact that one person came to visit. One person. Only one. And again, I don’t think I would’ve said, like, «Nobody came to visit». I wouldn’t even notice that nobody came to visit except for only one person came to visit. And I think what happened is I think we’ve really forgotten the power of presence. We forgot the sacredness of showing up. And those of you who’ve are been around for a longer, you’ll remember back in the day when your friend would have a baby, what would you do? You would make a casserole with peas. Why a casserole with peas? I do not know! But you would make a casserole with peas in. And then what would you do? You would drive across town, knock on the door, and give them a casserole with peas.
Walk in, love them, maybe pray for them, see their baby. «Cute baby»! Even if the baby was ugly, you would lie for the glory of God. «Cute baby». And you would drop off the casserole and peas. What do we do today? Because it’s convenient. We order DoorDash, and the power isn’t giving them Applebee’s delivered. We’ve forgotten the power’s giving them you. We’ve forgotten the power of presence. And you’re probably thinking, «Okay, old Pastor Craig, you’re against digital communication».
And I’m gonna say right now, I’m not at all. There’s a picture of Amy, my bride, on my phone right there. Just for the record, we are the church that was honored to create the very first church online, not just streaming, but a community of believers online. And we have 800 life groups online with people all over the world. And we’re thankful for that. We created the YouVersion Bible App, and I think there’s something coming up very soon, but we’re gonna celebrate maybe a pretty big and special milestone that, along with our partners, our church has been blessed to give away: the YouVersion Bible App to people on over one billion devices coming next month.
And so what I want you to know is we are very, very much for the power of technology to connect people with each other and to connect each other spiritually. But text should always be a supplement and never a replacement for human interaction and loving face-to-face. Because when you think about it, God didn’t just send His written Word. He didn’t just send His written Word, but His Word became flesh. John 1:1 says this: that «In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. And the Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us». The biblical term would be the incarnation. Who is Jesus? He is the incarnation. He is the physical embodiment of a holy and a righteous God. God didn’t just shout His love from Heaven; He sent His Son to show who He is on Earth because some things are just too intimate to be done in the written word. Some things have to be face-to-face.
And so here we are years later; we’re Christians and we love Jesus. And we believe in the Bible. And yet when we feel maybe, what? A little bit bored, Lord, maybe anxious, maybe lonely, what do we do? We pick up our phones, and we just start scrolling and scrolling and scrolling and scrolling. And if you look on social media, what do you see? It seemed like everybody else has something going on. Like their life is altogether, right? You see the cool shoes and the vacation, and I don’t wanna judge, but it seems like this is the third one this year they’ve been on, and the date nights where they look so happy, and the engagements and the babies, and what appears to be the perfect family.
And there you’re sitting there in your pajamas, eating your second bag of chips, doom scrolling, rotting on the couch, still feeling anxious and all alone. And internally, you’re thinking there’s gotta be something better than this. But you just go back to it over and over and over again. And somewhere between the likes and the comments and the games and the emails and the updates and the reels, it hits you. Your feed is full, but your soul feels empty> Your feed is full, and yet your soul longs for something more. And what’s crazy is when you look at it today, I mean, there are so many good things about technology. I mean, we are the most connected society in the history of the world. And yet at the very same time, we’re the most lonely and the most isolated and the most anxious ever. And we intuitively kind of feel like something’s wrong, but we feel trapped and don’t know how to fix it.
In fact, studies show some facts that are very, very alarming. I’ll give you three. Studies show this, that the average adult spends over seven hours a day on screens, while teenagers average between seven and nine hours daily. I want you to pause and think about that. At the end of your life, do you wanna look back and say, «What did I do with what Jesus gave me to do»? I spent a third of my entire life looking at a screen, seven or more, nine hours a day. A second stat is this: 68% of people feel stress or anxiety when separated from their phones. There is a term for it. You wanna know what it is. It is a real term. It’s called nomophobia.
If someone takes your phone and just hand it to them for a second, what do many of you feel? And if you can’t find it… Next stat: Nearly 40% of adults admit their phones make them feel lonelier. And one in three admit that they don’t have a single person to confide in. Jesus didn’t come and give His life and overcome darkness, death, hell, and the grave for us to spend a third of our life looking at a screen. And yet here we are. What are we gonna do about it? There’s a book I read called «The Anxious Generation» by Jonathan Haidt. And here’s what he said. It really hit me because I see it and I feel it. He said that one of the biggest problems we have as parents, those of you if you have kids, he says that in today’s culture we tend to overprotect our kids in the physical world. And we vastly underprotect them in the digital world. But we overprotect them in the physical world.
I think you might agree, and I’m not saying this is right, but those of you around my age, when we were kids, you would literally put an entire baseball team in the back of a pickup truck and drive down the highway at 70 miles an hour. I’m not saying it was smart, but we did it. Seat belts weren’t a thing. I think it’s dumb. Seat belts should be a thing. But some of you would remember, you sit in the front seat with your mom, no seatbelt on, and the seatbelt would be, if she had to stop fast, what would she do? Boom. That was boom! That was a seatbelt. Her arm would go out, and it’s probably safer than the safest airbag seatbelt.
In fact, there’s rumor that that’s how someone invented the airbag. That it was a little kid, and his mom… You know, how sometimes when you get older, you have the… And the arm would go, and he’s like, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, airbag. I’ve just made that up. That’s not true. But you know, if that offends you, just go ahead and email me. Use technology. Email me at [email protected]. It’s actually an email that I think it still works. It was there years ago. But what happens is, we do. Nowadays, instead of, like, just letting them ride in the back, we overprotect them in everything to keep them safe. We got baby monitors, we got bike helmets, and sanitized backpacks. We bubble wrap them. Our kid looks like this. If he’s gonna go check the mail: «Here, bubba, you gotta put this on so you don’t get sunburned and trip in the driveway and skin your knee».
We’re gonna keep them safe in the physical world. And then when they turn 10 years of age, what do we do? We give them a device with unlimited access to pornography. And put into their hands a digital stream of dopamine that drives comparison and anxiety and depression and makes them vulnerable to the algorithms designed to distract them and feed them the lies that shape their very identities. And here’s the kicker. Most of us have fallen for the same trap, the same distraction, the same addiction, the same lies that are robbing them are also robbing us. Here’s the way I’d say it: We didn’t just hand them the problem; we modeled it for them. I’m telling you right now, you worry about your kids. Some of your kids worry about you. 'Cause all you can do is send fake AI things to each other because you still think that’s real.
Now I’m just meddling, but forgive me for that, but some of you’re doing that, just saying. Let me tell you why I am passionate about this. I’m passionate about it because I feel like it’s one of the greatest tools of distraction to keep us from intimacy with God and intimacy with other people. And it is a problem we must acknowledge, and we must solve. We have to. I wanna solve it. I need to solve it in my own life. And so for three weeks, we’re gonna talk about it. I wanna just kind of show you my cards, and I’m gonna give you the three goals that I wanna try to accomplish in the series.
Here’s what I want us to do together. I want us to confront the habits that drain your peace and quietly destroy the relationships that matter most. Because sometimes you can be sitting right by the person you love and looking at strangers that you’re never ever gonna meet and feeling left out when you could be connecting with a person who’s right in front of you. And so we’re gonna do that. Next week, this is what we’re gonna do is we’re gonna find practical tools. And I cannot tell you how important next week is. We’re gonna dive deep into it, and we’re gonna find the practical tools to guard your families from the pull of digital distraction and destruction.
In fact, our team has put together a little book that your campus pastor can tell you how to get. It is free; you can get it online. And we’re gonna meet as parents because a lot of you do not know what’s going on on your kids' devices. And it is making them depressed, desperate, suicidal, left out, anxious. And you need to understand. And you need to have a game plan for them, and you need a game plan for you. And if you don’t, culture’s gonna pull you straight into darkness. And this is not God’s plan for us. And the third thing we’re gonna do, and I’ve been talking about this nonstop, is we’re gonna come out of the shallow screen-based connection and back into deep life-giving Christ-centered community.
If you feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s because it is. And it’s not what’s on the screen, it’s what’s in front of you. It’s intimacy with the people around you. Because God genuinely wants you to live a connected life, not connected digitally, but connected spiritually to Him and intimately with the people that He put into your life. And the problem is, we live in a culture that celebrates and glorifies independence. You gotta be independent. I don’t depend on anybody else. You gotta be your own boss. You gotta live your own truth. Let me tell you the truth. The truth is God created you to be dependent upon Him, to need Him, and to need His people in community. We were not created to be alone. We were created to be dependent on a God who wants to meet our needs. And one of the ways He meets our deepest needs is with His love through His people.
And we see one of the most powerful, beautiful, vivid pictures of this in the 1st-century church. And I wanna show you this. When the new believers had experienced the resurrection power of Christ, and some of them has seen the risen Christ, and they would gather together, and I want you to see the beauty of the community they had.
Acts 2 says this. These 1st-century Christians, they were devoted. «They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship and the breaking of bread and to prayer. And everyone was filled with awe of the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. And all the believers were together and had everything in common. And they sold their property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day, they continued to meet in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere heart, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved».
Community, connection, commitment, power, all of the presence of God, all of the power of God, all of the miracles that God was doing. Giving of themselves, so that one would even have need. And I wanna show you in these few short verses how these first-century Christians depended on God and depended on each other. Let me show you, just briefly, a quick summary of what the early church did. They studied the Bible together. They shared meals together. They prayed together. Help me out if you want to. They fellowshipped together. They worshiped God together. They served others together, and they celebrated together. They didn’t look at a screen and observe somebody else’s life. They were together. And what you need to know is that in the ancient world, this was unheard of, completely unheard of, because the Roman Empire was built on division, that the rich avoided the poor.
The Jews stayed away from the Gentiles. Those who were free, they stayed away from the slaves. And the 1st-century Church, filled with the power of Jesus and the love of Jesus, they shattered that division. The rich ate with the poor, and the Jews fellowshipped with the Gentiles. And those who were free broke bread with those who were slaves. And those who had more didn’t think it was all for them, but they gladly and willingly shared with those who had less because they didn’t just believe in Jesus; they belonged to Him. And because they belonged to Him, they belonged to each other. And yet we’re settling for an imitation of looking at someone through a shield instead of loving someone face-to-face.
And Acts 2:44 sums it up when the Bible says this: «All the believers were together». They were together; they were unified; they were one. They loved each other. They cared for each other. They shared their burdens together. They served one another. They rejoiced with one another. They mourned with one another. And this wasn’t just unusual; again, it was revolutionary. I’m gonna tell you right now, it would be equally shocking today if Christians were together. I mean, if we could just agree on something like «Jesus is Lord,» let’s start there. And that we need each other, let’s start there. And that we’re gonna love one another, let’s try that.
It would be incredibly shocking if the Body of Christ was unified and actually loving rather than mean, like loving one another rather than criticizing one another, and serving one another. Instead, it’s taking shots at each other. But the problem is in our culture today, too many of us, we value our privacy more than we crave community. «It’s my life, my time, my agenda, gotta meet my needs». When God called us to love one another! And we literally, like, lie in the way that we sow our lives. We show the filtered life and the filtered stories, and we hide our own real stories, knowing that I’m not better than you. We’re all broken and we’re all needy, and like, I need you and you need me, and you need the person sitting next to you, and you may not even say hello to them. We live in things that resemble neighborhoods. They’re not quite neighborhoods. They used to actually be outside and talk to each other and stuff.
Now we gate them all off and, you know, pull into the garage. But every now and then, you’ll wave at your neighbors. You probably don’t know their names, but you’ll wave at them. And it’s bizarre. Someone, every now and then, your phone will ring, and you think, «It’s probably a solicitor,» and it probably is because it usually is. But if it’s not, sometimes you go, «Oh. Yeah, that’s Mom». «Oh, that’s my college buddy». «Oh, that’s that person from Life here». I’m just gonna send it to voicemail. And then later on, you go and listen to the voicemail, and then what do you do? Just text them back. Text them back. Because we’re so busy with our own plans that we don’t have real time for real community.
And when our friend’s mom or dad dies, we send a text. We send a text. And again, the reason I’m passionate about this is because it’s my problem. The first time it dawned on me was years ago when I got my first version of smartphone, and my son was playing in a soccer game, and I was watching him. It was a big game for him. And I was looking at Twitter, and people were arguing about something I said. I was in a little Twitter storm. I heard everybody cheer. And Sam had scored a goal, and I missed it. I said I will never, ever do that again. And I didn’t until the second half. And I was looking again when he scored the game-winning goal with maybe two minutes left. And I missed him both 'cause I was looking at something strangers were saying. And that was the first time I realized, «Okay, this is a problem».
Fast forward to today, and I’m gonna be just real transparent with you, and I’m not exaggerating when I tell you this. I’m not complaining; this is just my life. The days are so packed that I barely respond to texts or emails, or calls. And then when I go home after dinner, I start responding. And between my staff, which are many, pastoral needs that are a lot, other pastors that need a lot, all six of my kids and their spouses, that most of them need something every single day, I will generally be on the phone doing what I consider to be something important until about 9:00, 9:15 at night nonstop. And it’s work; it’s ministry, and it feels important to me.
And then about 9:15, I’m done. I’m tired. I put my phone aside, and I’m ready for some attention. So I come in to Amy and say, «Hey, what you doing»? And she says, «I’ve been waiting for you all night long, so now I’m doing Duolingo». I’m like going, «You’re doing Duolingo when I’m ready for you»? She says, «You’ve been on the phone all night long, so now I’m doing my Spanish». And so, you know, what happens is now when we get in an argument about that, she can argue back in Spanish, and it impacts us at 9:15 at night. The 1st-century Christians, they were different. They were a Jesus-centered community that broke down the walls, and, face-to-face, they literally started changing the world.
What if we did the same thing now? Like, what if you just pushed back and said, «We’re not gonna be a slave to this». «We’re not gonna let it master us». «We’ll use it; We’re not gonna be mastered by it»? And what if instead of just, like, scrolling or texting or DMing, what if every now and then you literally met face-to-face? What if we opened up our homes, opened up our lives, our schedules? What if the church became the place where empty hearts are filled and broken people belong? Not you just, like, sit by someone, but you actually ask them their name and look forward to seeing them next week. And if you like the idea, but say, «I don’t know how to do it,» let’s talk about it.
What do we do? What I wanna just give you is a little assignment this week. Start with an awareness. Take notice when you’re sitting with people that you love. You’ve got family, got friends, you’re sitting out, you’re out in the living room, whatever, at a restaurant. Just take notice at how often you’re all together, but nobody’s paying attention. Just take notice of how often you’re with somebody and you’re looking at your screen. Or if you’re out to lunch or coffee with someone, just take notice.
If you get a notification, do you continue the conversation, or do you break community and look down to see what the notification is? At bed at night, just ask yourself, are you journaling and reflecting on the day and planning your next day and thanking God, and seeking God? Or are you texting and scrolling? If you’re married, are you praying with your spouse? Are you having intimate conversations with your spouse? Are you connecting spiritually or emotionally? Or are you side-by-side in bed looking at reels? Just take notice. And every now and then, when you’re about to reach for your phone, remind yourself, you’re reaching for something that fills the moment but can’t fill your soul. Remind yourself. And so here’s your assignment this week. Really simple. We’re gonna pick up the pace as we go on, but we’re gonna start really simple.
Three things I’m gonna ask you if you would consider doing. The first thing is this. Don’t just text someone, call them. You may try to do that every day. Like, literally, when you’d normally send a text, just actually go ahead and dial and let them hear your voice and listen to theirs because it genuinely is another level of intimacy.
The second thing is, don’t just pray for someone. Pray with them. Take it up a notch 'cause somewhere along the way, you’re gonna be tempted to just, say, do a prayer emoji on a post, or you’re gonna be with someone at work and you think, «I’ll pray for you later». Now just stop and push yourself out of your comfort zone, be bold and say, «Do you mind if I pray for you right now»? And just pray.
And thirdly, I’d say, don’t just say that you care, but actually show up and be present. Let the Holy Spirit prompt you when you can go and make a difference. Because Jesus said, «A new command I give to you:» H said, «Love one another. As I’ve loved you, so you must love one another. By this, everyone will know that you’re my disciples if you love one another». How will they know if we love and follow Jesus? It won’t be by what we post. It won’t be by how many followers we have, but how we love, how we love, how we love, how we love.
So you don’t have to destroy your phone, but don’t let it own you. And if you wake up and you realize, like, I have this frustration, I know there’s more. If your feed is full and your life is empty, I promise you, I promise you, I promise you God has something so much better for you, and you’re not gonna get there accidentally. You’ve gotta intentionally and prayerfully push back against the pull of culture and push into the heart of God and let His love come through you to make a difference to the people around you. Because God didn’t just send His words from heaven. Jesus is the Word made flesh. And He came to reveal face-to-face the love of the Father.
So this week, just be aware. Let’s start there. Put the phone down. Look someone in the eye and choose presence. Choose presence. Look at them. And with everything in you, you don’t have to say it, but just communicate it with your being and say, «You matter more than anything on a screen». And what’ll happen is you’re gonna start finding at the end of the day, that was actually a little better day. That when I prayed for someone, I felt the presence of God, and I felt joy. When I called someone and I heard their voice, and I actually knew what was going on. I wasn’t wondering why do they give me little responses and not respond? And why do they wait? Where are we?
When you talk to them, you find that there are some things that are just too intimate for a screen. They have to be face-to-face. And your love grows. And when you’re serving others and ministering to others and involved with others and caring for others and giving to others, your joy is made complete. And the world won’t feel the love of Jesus just through a screen. Yes, they can at times, but they’re gonna feel it when you’re there. You care. You say it. You show it. And then they’re gonna know it. Assignment, will you push back with me? Will you say, «I believe there’s more than this»? Because John was warning them, «Here’s how you have to love, and don’t be distracted». The devil wants to steal, kill, and destroy, and get you to settle for something that is not real; it’s a counterfeit, when God has something so much more.
So Heavenly Father, we pray by the power and grace of Jesus that You would draw us into real connection with You and people.
Church, as you’re praying today, and those of you that are online, we’re glad you’re online. There’s an assignment. I’m gonna give you three things. I’m gonna ask you, will you commit to this? And don’t just, like, raise your hand, like, commit to it. Don’t just text, call. Don’t pray for someone; pray with them. Don’t just say that you care, but actually get out of your comfort zone. Take them to coffee. Take them to breakfast. Take them to lunch. Walk over to their desk. Walk over to their house. Show up and show them that you care. If you will join me in pushing back and pushing into intimacy, would you lift up your hands right now and say, «I’m in»? All over the place. Type in the comments section, «Hey, I commit to the assignment». «I commit to do this».
Holy Spirit, prompt us this week over and over and over again when we reach for our phone, to help us just remember it can fill the moment, but it’s not gonna fill the void. And God, give us a hunger for You and for intimacy with others because some things are just too special to be shared on the screen. Some things have to be face-to-face. God, prompt us to be present, to show Your love, to know Your love, to show Your love.
As you keep praying today at our different churches, some of you, you are digitally connected, but, like, you’re really spiritually disconnected. You’re longing for something more. You know there’s a problem, you can’t seem to figure out how to solve it. I wanna tell you again, God didn’t just send a message. He sent His Son, who is Jesus. He is the Son of the living God who came for the righteous, but came for sinners, who came for the broken. There are those of you today, you know there’s something more, and there is. There’s a longing that only He can fulfill. The problem is we’re separated from God by our sin.
And the good news is Jesus died for our sins. On the third day, God raised Him from the dead so that anyone who calls on His name would be saved and forgiven. If you feel like you’re missing something, you are. There’s more to this world. There is a Heavenly Father that loves you, that wants you to know Him and wants to show His love for you. Today, at all of our churches, those who say, «I need that. I know I have sinned, and I need His forgiveness. I wanna know Him intimately, not just know about Him, but I wanna know Him». What we’re gonna do today is we’re stepping away from our sinfulness. We’re stepping into a relationship with a loving God. Jesus said, «And this is eternal life, that you would know Him».
Today, at all of our churches, those who need His grace and need His forgiveness, we step away from our sin, and we say, «Jesus, I give You my life. Be my Savior, the Lord of my life. I give my life to You». That’s your prayer. Lift your hands high right now, all over the place. Lift them up right here, and God bless you, both of you here. Others say, «Yes, Jesus». Right back there, god bless you. Others say, «Yes, Jesus. I make You the Lord of my life». There’s this spiritual hunger. Those of you online, type in the comment section, «I’m surrendering my life to Jesus». Today, at all of our churches, would you pray aloud? Pray:
Heavenly Father. I surrender my life, surrender completely to You. Forgive all of my sins and save me. Jesus, be my Lord. Be my Savior. Fill me with Your Spirit so I could know You and show Your love. My life is not my own. I give it all to You. In Jesus' name, I pray.