Bobby Chandler - What if... I Stop Being So Offended
- Watch
Summary:
This opening sermon of the «What If» series asks whether responding biblically to life’s frustrations and hurts would truly improve our lives, focusing on the choice to stop living offended. Using James 1:2-4, Matthew 5:46, Matthew 24:10–12, and the story of Jacob’s wrestling with God in Genesis 32, the preacher shows how offense is a trap from Satan that leads to cold hearts and division. The key takeaway is that while the world will inevitably offend us, choosing to let go of offense—by wrestling honestly with God instead of people—brings healing, joy, and the blessings God intends.
What If Series Introduction
We are starting a brand new series titled «What If.» In this series, we’ll be asking the question: Would reacting in a biblical way really change your life for the better? Would reacting in a way that God wants you to react really change your life for the better? What if, when that rude cashier doesn’t give you proper service, instead of telling her off, you say, «You know what? I’m gonna pray for you today, » give her a tip, and say, «You have a nice day»?
How many of y’all experience road rage? Come on, raise your hand. Let’s be honest in the house of the Lord. Some of y’all are like, «Pastor, you better pray for us!» What if, instead of giving that person the eye who just cut you off, you spoke over them and said, «You know what? God’s gonna bless you. It’s gonna be good!» You roll down the window and start waving, saying, «God’s gonna do something amazing.»
What if you started changing your decisions? Because a lot of you are like, «Pastor, I did pray. I prayed that they got a flat tire!» That doesn’t count! We’ve all been there. It’s real, though, because we grow up in church, and we hear the godly way. We hear how God instructs us to live. But when the week comes and we face people and deal with their attitudes, or when someone tries to get ahead of us, it is really hard to be obedient to the Lord. It is really hard to do what God tells us to do.
A Gentle Answer and Joy in Trials
Proverbs 15:1 says, «A gentle answer turns away wrath.» How many of you believe that? How many of you lived it this week? A gentle answer turns away wrath. And sometimes, to be honest with you, even as a pastor, I’m like, «God, can I just show a little bit of wrath? Just a little bit, just to get back?» I gotta tell you this crazy story real fast. A long time ago, I was selling a Jeep that I had, so I put my number on the window for anyone interested in buying it. I was not smart about where I placed that number because I could barely see. I was younger, and I remember pulling out in front of a car. Well, guess what? I got a phone call right away because my number was right on the windshield.
I get this call, and this guy gives me some choice words, saying, «Hey, do you know you just cut me off?» Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I said on the phone, «You know what, man? I’m sorry. I couldn’t see you. Hey, you know what? What’s your name?» I started having a conversation. At the end of it, I asked, «Can I pray for you?» I promise you, he went from, «Hey, I can’t believe you cut me off, » to, «Hey man, thank you so much! You have a good day!» But that was even outside of my character. I knew I was in the wrong, but I also knew that every opportunity is a chance to show God’s love, and the Bible instructs us in this. See, God’s wisdom changes your life. But how many of you are really living it out?
So I want to ask the question: What if you did? What if you didn’t react the way you always react when things get rough? Because here’s good news for every believer: you ready for this? With God, bad days have no power over you. I need you to believe that. With God, bad days have no power over you. Bad days don’t control your emotions. Your happiness doesn’t leave just because somebody said something about you, right? Because that’s what we focus on all the time. Ninety-nine percent of the time, people can be talking good about you, but that one percent, right? That one person who said something— «I couldn’t believe that! How dare they?» James 1:2-4, New Living Translation, makes it clear: «Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.» Do not consider it an opportunity to rant on Facebook. Do not consider it an opportunity to get even with somebody, or slash their tires—you’re gonna learn! But it’s an opportunity for great joy.
We’re looking at our lives like, «How does this make sense? Well, coming to church, I believe it, God, but how do I live it?» Because that’s different. How do I live it? Consider it an opportunity for great joy, for you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. And I love how he says this: «Let it grow.» Look to somebody next to you and tell them, «Let it grow.» Let your faith grow. Let that endurance produce something good inside of you. It does not matter what arrow or what problem comes your way from the enemy; you know that it’s a good day because God is still in control and He created you for a purpose. And when you have that mindset, it changes your perspective. Because now I wake up knowing I’m going to get attacked in some way because I’m doing the right thing, because I’m living for the Lord.
So what happens when somebody says something again? It is an opportunity for great joy. Let it grow. And when your endurance is fully developed— listen to this— you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. Man, isn’t that good news? Joyfulness in the Lord! When we act in the way that He instructs us, we see His miracles take place. But in this series, we’re gonna have fun with this because I’m gonna get in your grill a little bit, okay? I’m gonna challenge you with situations. I’m gonna challenge you with trials. I’m going to challenge you with some of the things that may be deep inside your heart that you don’t even want to look at. Why? Because that’s the only way you’re going to see healing. And it’s hard sometimes. We don’t want to look at the past mistakes, right? But because of that, we also feel ashamed, and we believe things about ourselves, or we feel like there’s no identity, or we don’t know who we are, that we can never amount to anything. When God says, «Look back at it, » He’s not trying to make you feel bad in a way like «Look at you; I can never use you.» Nobody’s saying, «Look at that, you made that mistake!» But look at what I’ve done for you still, because I never left you; I never gave up on you. I’m here today, and that is a powerful testimony that changes lives.
Loving the Difficult to Love
How many of you know somebody difficult to love? Raise your hand. I’m gonna be interactive a little bit. Come on, raise your hand—no pointing, please! Just raise your hand. We know what it’s like to love somebody difficult. And I believe if you’re a parent in the room, you know this on another level. Right? I was thinking about this the other day. Last week I was having a conversation and said, sometimes I feel like I have two different personalities because I’ll be talking to somebody and I’ll be like, «Man, that’s awesome! God is so good! That’s great! Man, I can’t believe, hold on one second— hey! If you touch that again, you gotta sit down! All right? No, we’re going to have a talk! You just rolled your eyes at me! No food for a week!» Okay, anyway, what were you saying? «God is so good!» You know what it’s like. If you’re a parent in the room, you know what it’s like. And sometimes I think about it later, I’m like, «Oh man, like that could have looked crazy.» You know, but it’s real. It’s wrong, but also, as your child, you love them no matter what. Your family, even you love them no matter what. Sometimes you don’t want to be around them, but you love them! You know, love them from a distance, okay?
But the Bible doesn’t just tell you to love your family. This is where it gets difficult. The Bible doesn’t just tell you to love those who love you. The Bible tells us to love people that don’t even like you. It’ll get real. The Bible tells us to love people that want to talk bad about you. The Bible tells us to love the same people who mock us for believing in a God of redemption. Because Jesus did it. He loved the same people that crucified Him upon the cross. He loved them. And the Bible tells us this is how we are to live. So what if we really did it? What if we really lived this way? What would change in our life?
Listen to this: Matthew 5:46, New Living Translation, says, «If you only love those who love you, what reward is there for that?» For even corrupt tax collectors—corrupt people, wicked people— in this case, He’s mentioning the tax collectors like thieves: «Even these people love their own who love them. What reward is there?» But it’s when you love people who make you angry, that push your buttons, that is where the reward is. Because, you know why? You get to be a light in the darkness. Oh man! This is why we have to mature in the Word of God. We have to be spiritually ready to take on any obstacle because I’m telling you, Satan is going to come at you over and over again, and he’s going to use people you love. He’s going to use friends that you never thought would go behind your back. He may even use a spouse that’s not living for God at the moment. But no matter what, consider it pure joy, and you love the people that don’t love you.
Because think about it: how long did it take you to realize you need God? How long did you live a life for yourself, rejecting God over and over and over again? Yet He never gave up on you; He pursued you. And this is what we should be walking in. But I started to think about this. Have you noticed there’s a lot of people angry today? Have you noticed that in our country there’s division? How many people walk around angry? In fact, there was an article posted by The Washington Post that stated today Americans are living in a big anger incubator. Everybody’s angry at each other, and everybody’s asking, «What is the root cause? Is it politics? Is it COVID? Is everybody stressed out? Nobody knows what’s right or wrong. Nobody knows what to do. What is it?» And now I’m asking you today: what if it’s a spiritual attack? What if Jesus already warned us that this was coming just like He told His disciples? Because I believe He did.
The Danger of Offense in the End Times
In Matthew 24, Jesus tells His disciples, «Listen, this is coming. The spirit is coming and it’s going to go against every believer, but don’t you give up. Again, consider it pure joy.» Matthew 24:10–12, New King James Version, states, «And then many will be offended.» Many will be offended. He’s preparing His disciples. Listen, everything that the Word of God states will offend the world. What you stand up for, the biblical truth of who God is, it will offend the world. Why? Because the devil wants to destroy; he wants to kill and he wants to take you out. He wants you to doubt the Word of God. And so we influence this culture. You have to be careful too about the things that you allow inside of your heart, what you listen to, what you watch, right? Because they go into the heart, and then out of the heart we speak, and those fruits come out of your mouth. What fruit is coming out of your mouth right now? Right? It’s difficult.
But it says many will be offended. Now listen to what follows that: «Because of that, they will betray one another, they will hate one another, and then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. Because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold.» The root cause of a cold heart is offense. Let me say that again: The root cause of a cold heart is offense. Because when you open up your heart to offense, you close your heart to forgiveness. When you open up your heart to offense, you close your heart to forgiveness. And it sounds a lot like this: «I could never forgive them! Do you hear what he said? Do you see the actions that they did? I can’t believe that they posted that, or they went there and didn’t let me know about it! I am so offended!» And when you are just consumed with this idea of offense—oh man, «I can’t believe, I can’t believe, I can’t believe!» When you hear the word «forgiveness, » it makes you want to vomit. «How could I forgive them? What reward is it to only love people who love you?» Don’t you understand that people are going to offend you? They’re going to attack you for what you believe is true out of the Word of God.
So I started praying about this message, and I titled this message today: «What if I stop being offended?» What if I stop being offended? How could this change our lives for the better? First of all, we need to ask the question: What does being offended actually mean? What does it mean? A definition of it, as far as our feelings would be, a feeling of hurt. Okay, so I’m offended because my feelings are hurt, and that could look many different ways. One way is: okay, I feel attacked. I’m offended because I feel attacked about what you said. «I can’t believe that you said that! I thought that you would say something better about me!»
Another big one is resentment. «You didn’t post about my birthday on Facebook; you didn’t share a picture or anything.» And this is real life! Like, it’s kind of funny, but you also know it’s real. And now I resent you! Or you’ll notice that if God is blessing you and doing big things in your life, sometimes people resent that, too. «Where’s my blessing? I go to church too!» Right? And our feelings are hurt, or even feeling annoyed to this definition: even feeling annoyed. «You’re chewing your gum too loud; it offends me!» Or, «I walked in with a brand new haircut; you don’t like my haircut; it offends me!» And people seriously take this to heart, and they’re offended by the words that other people say.
But as believers, we’re stronger than that! I don’t care what you say about me; I know who I am and what God has created me to do, and I’m going to be obedient to my Father over how I feel in the moment! Because how I feel can only be restored by the Father, and it’s in His presence! You know it too—sometimes you come up to the altar and God just puts you in check: «Why are you still angry?» You know, say it! «I don’t want to!» No, say it! Because you won’t say it. You want to hold onto it! But the moment you say it in my presence, it’s released. It’s healing! It’s healing! And God has called us to be different. In fact, I don’t know if you guys remember there was this one tool that Satan used to divide the entire country: do we have that picture? Y’all remember this—blue, white, or gold? Every time these things come out, me and my wife see an opposite color. Like, «I can’t believe you don’t see this color!» Right? That came out in 2015. People still don’t know! We still don’t know the color! And it is funny, and I joke about it, but people are walking around living in offense! And everything that you say could really hurt me. And I feel like it’s right now in our culture, people have lost their identity in Christ. People are looking in the mirror, and they don’t know who they are or what they were created for. They feel lost, and so they’re searching for all these things that will never satisfy.
So let me give you a simple truth: No matter how you live, the world will offend you. No matter how you live, you could be the nicest person anybody’s ever met; you could go out of your way for others; you could help people; you can give to the poor; you can give to the church; you can serve—no matter how you live, the world will offend you. And we already know the reason why: because in the very beginning, a curse of sin fell upon this world, and people are living in that. I tell my boys all the time, «One bad choice will always lead to one bad consequence. One bad choice will always lead to one bad consequence.» And the scripture tells us, it warns us about what it’s like to live in offense. Let’s look back at Matthew 24:10, alright? Matthew 24:10 states, «And then many will be offended, and because they are offended, they will betray one another, and they will hate one another.»
Now, the Greek word for «offended» here is called «scandalizo.» Scandaliso. And it’s interesting to me because the definition of «scandalizo, » the Greek word, means «to entrap.» To entrap somebody. It means that it’s a trick. And so what I’m trying to tell you is that Satan puts out these traps. He puts out these baits in your life. «Oh, you think you’re doing good now? You think you’re staying clean? You think you’re staying sober? Let me put some baits in your life.» Or, «You think you’re going to work through resentment and not be angry anymore? Let me put some baits in your life.» Because the Greek word «scandalizo» is where we get the English word «scandal.» Think about that! The English word «scandal» comes from the Greek word «scandalizo"—offense! It is a bait and trap that the enemy uses in your life.
Have you ever noticed that even when you’re minding your own business, all of a sudden something pops up on Facebook? «Why? Why?» It’s a bait and trap! So let me share this truth with you, and then we’re going to dive into the Word: The world will offend you, but living offended is a choice. This world is going to offend you. Somebody’s going to say something about you; somebody’s going to make you angry. But living offended is a choice, and I promise you, no bad days have power over you.
Jacob’s Struggle with Offense: Rejection
One main Bible character that I think about who comes to mind with living in offense is Jacob. And maybe you’ve never thought about this before, but I believe that Jacob had two offenses in his life that he tried to cling onto, and he lost his identity.
When he was very young, and because of these situations happening in his life, he kept clinging onto this offense and trying to control everything. In fact, he wanted to steal every blessing he received. He wanted to control what was going to happen so that he could receive a blessing in his life. And so I want to reveal these baits, but also how God saves us from them, okay? Point number one is this: Bait number one: Rejection. Rejection. All of us knows what it feels like to be rejected. We know what it feels like to be rejected by a friend, but especially by a family member. And Jacob felt like he was second place to his father because of his brother Esau. Now they were twins, and if you know the story—when Esau was born, Jacob was holding onto his heel. It was prophetic of their life and what was going to take place—that they would fight for that birthright, okay? That they would fight for that blessing even born at the same time. Jacob felt rejection.
Look at this: Genesis 25:27–28—"So the boys grew, and Esau was a skillful hunter, a man in the field…» Okay, he’s a manly man, but Jacob was a mild man dwelling in tents. He wore skinny jeans! Okay, I can’t really talk, you know what I mean. Now, this is important to understand, though, because I want you to see what’s going on in the family. Jacob knew if his father loved Esau more, then it was custom in their culture that the firstborn would receive the blessing, okay? They believed what the father spoke over your life is what you would receive. It would come true. So they valued this. So when I speak it, this is what will happen over my life. It also gives us clarity because it did come true. Every time they spoke over their children, these things came true. And it made me think: Man, we need to be careful how we speak! Especially over our children. Are you speaking blessings, or are you speaking cursings? What are you speaking over your children right now?
And so, he knew this, but also, I want you to think about it because the blessing was also an inheritance, okay? It was a big deal. So Jacob knew this. He knew that if his father loved Esau, then Esau would get the blessing and Esau would get the inheritance. And so this became drama. And then it gets worse when it becomes drama with mama, okay? Verse 28: «And Isaac, okay, that’s his father, loved Esau because he ate his game.» This made me laugh—such a typical man: «That’s my favorite son because he feeds me, » okay? But Rebecca, his mother, loved Jacob. And everybody knows if mama’s not happy, nobody’s happy. So she came up with this crazy idea because he was on his deathbed. Isaac was on his deathbed, and he could barely see. So he told Esau, «Go out, go hunt, bring me some food, and then I’m going to bless you.» And as she heard this, she came up with the trick and she goes up to Jacob and says, «Listen, this is what I want you to do. I want you to prepare food for your father, okay?» And Esau was hairy—like, really hairy. He had to get goat skin, not only to put it on his arms but also the back of his neck. You can kind of imagine what was going on with Esau in those days, alright? She wanted him to completely pretend to be Esau so that he could steal the blessing.
I need you to understand that! So that’s exactly what he does. He goes to his father Isaac and he receives that blessing. But because of that, again, every bad decision comes with a bad consequence. Because now we knew his brother wanted to kill him, and he was afraid for his life. And his parents knew, too! So they instructed him, «Hey, here’s what I want you to do. I want you to go to your uncle’s house. His name is Laban, and I want you to marry one of his daughters.» And I want you to run away! Because they know that because he just stole this blessing and this inheritance, listen, the house was divided. Some of you know exactly how this feels! Some of you know what it’s like to go home and feel like everything’s divided—not on the same page. Maybe for some of you, you grew up and you’ve never felt enough for your parents. Maybe your brother or your sister just did great at getting good grades or at sports, but you didn’t, and you always wanted to be good but it always felt like you made the wrong decisions.
And because of that, you had this identity crisis in your life. Or maybe you didn’t feel loved. Or maybe you had those friends that were really smart and you tried and all you could make was C’s. Maybe it’s in your workplace right now—you’re trying really hard, but the boss never notices you. How does that feel? I’m telling you, Satan puts out the bait, and it’s really easy to be entrapped by it. It is so easy to be offended! It is so easy to feel like there’s a hole in my heart. «How come, God? I’m not receiving the blessing.» And so this was Jacob’s mentality—especially with his mom instructing him to do so. He thought it would be okay to steal the blessing. But because he stole it, guess what he had to do next? He had to run. He had to run away.
And I noticed that a lot of us, when we’re living in offense, and we feel like we’ve got to control the situation, as soon as it gets tough, as soon as healing is around the corner, most of us run away! We stop going to the church or we stop praying, or we stop believing that God can do something big! Can I share this with you? Just because you run away does not mean you left your hurt behind! Just because you ran away from it does not mean you left the hurt behind! And I believe some of you have had those sleepless nights because you know that God is telling you to deal with it. But at this moment, he left. He ran away. His brother wanted to kill him. He felt rejected by the family—offended. I mean, just imagine! He had to leave, and you never knew if you’d be able to come back!
Jacob’s Struggle with Offense: Betrayal
Second point is this: betrayal. So Jacob travels to Haran to his uncle Laban’s house and he falls in love with Laban’s daughter, Rachel. Now she’s the youngest daughter; the oldest is Leah. And it was in their custom that they would marry off the older daughter first, not the youngest. But he fell in love with Rachel. And the scripture tells us that she was beautiful, and he was captivated by her beauty so much that he agreed to work for seven years just to marry her. Seven years—that is commitment! And he’s talking to his uncle Laban. This is what he says: Genesis 29:16–20— «Now Laban had two daughters. The older daughter was named Leah, and the younger was Rachel.» Verse 18: «Since Jacob was in love with Rachel, he told her father, 'I will work for you for seven years if you give me Rachel.'» Now again, seven in the Bible means completion, so just notice that. In verse 19, Laban said, «I would rather give her to you than anyone else; stay here and work for me.» Seven years, he was committed!
You need to pray about that. Pray that God sends somebody into your life that’s committed. Pray that you don’t rush things. I’m telling you, some of the worst mistakes that we can make in life is trying to rush it, running away from God because we want it to happen right now! God’s got somebody for you that’s committed, that’s ready to go the distance for you! But you have to trust Him or believe or trust that He can restore—because He can restore as well! But he said, «I agree.» So seven years, and then finally, after seven years of working, can you imagine? He’s like, «Finally, I get to marry her! I get to rejoice!» Now remember, Jacob has already dealt with rejection from his family. Now, he’s about to be deceived! Now he’s about to feel betrayed by his own uncle—a family member! Because if you know the story, what happens? When he’s supposed to marry Rachel, he wakes up the next morning married to Leah, the older daughter!
He betrayed him! He tricked him! And I always think it’s funny when I tell the story because sometimes, faces are like, «How do you marry the wrong person? How does that even happen?» And so just to give you two explanations, this was interesting to me. Scholars also believe that pretty much, Laban made sure the wine never stopped flowing at the wedding and that Jacob was drinking, and he didn’t know that he married the wrong girl! But something very interesting to me is this: There is a Jewish history book called the Book of Joshua. It is not the inerrant word of God, okay? It’s not in the Bible, but it’s what we would call a Jewish history book—just like Flavius Josephus, if you know who that is; he’s a Jewish historian. And it’s really cool to look back at what the early church fathers believed and what they talked about.
And the Book of Joshua is actually mentioned outside of the Bible a few different times. And let me give you one example: In Joshua 10:13, the New Living Translation states this: «Joshua said, 'Is this event not recorded in the Book of Joshua? '» The sun stayed in the middle of the sky. Something I thought was really interesting too is that out of the New Testament, Paul is talking about Moses, and he’s talking about the miracle that he performed right in front of Pharaoh where the stick turned into a snake. Now there were two other sorcerers there that tried to mimic that trick, but out of the Book of Genesis, there’s no names for them. Yet Paul knew their names, and it’s believed that he knew their names because it’s recorded in the Book of Joshua. So what I’m telling you is that the Book of Jasher is just a Jewish history book that sometimes you can find missing pieces and really see the context.
And what I loved about it, I looked into it to see if there was more to this story, and according to the Book of Jasher, it’s recorded that he lied to Jacob and told him it was a custom for all the lights to be completely turned off. So imagine that, mixed with wine— all the lights were completely cut off! Nobody can see; nobody knew what was going on! In fact, I thought this was interesting. In the Book of Joshua, it also mentions that everybody who showed up knew what was going on. They were part of it! Imagine being the only one who doesn’t know the truth! Imagine feeling so betrayed that in a room full of people, you could still feel all by yourself. That’s a big deal. We laugh about it, but it is a big deal! He married the wrong woman—a family member! Again, he just left family, and now he’s trying to trust Laban, and Laban deceives him! If you can’t trust family, who can you trust?
Because I see so many people come into this room saying, «I want to trust God, “ but my parents, growing up, they were in the church, but they treated me differently at home, and it’s hard for me to trust God when I’ve seen that encounter in my own house. Imagine! It’s so easy to be offended! I can’t believe—I know you’re laughing at me! The wrong woman! But he’s still committed, and he loves her! And so even though he was angry with Laban, he agreed, „Okay, because Laban didn’t want him to leave. I’m going to reveal why too in a second. But he didn’t want him to leave. He says, 'All right, fine! I’ll make another deal with you—another seven years if I get to marry him! '“ He said yes! You know why Laban did this? This is interesting! Because on the way to Laban’s house, Jacob had an encounter with God for the first time, and it’s an incredible story. Because he looked up— and it was in a dream that he saw angels from heaven coming down to earth, and at that moment, he heard God’s voice telling him that He is going to use him. And he said, „God, on this day I will serve you! You are my God!“
And that anointing followed him even when he didn’t have the full relationship yet, because he had some things to deal with. But here’s what’s interesting to me—I couldn’t get this out of my mind. God’s blessing was on him in such a powerful way that everything Jacob did was blessed—not just for himself. You want to know the real why, the real reason Laban didn’t want him to leave? Because everything Jacob did for Laban’s house prospered, all because he had an encounter with God on the way there, and all because he said, „God, I serve you!“ This blessing was all over him, and it blessed Laban! So Laban tricked him! This is the reason he deceived him! He did not want him to go. But finally, after seven more years of working, he said, „My debt is gone!“ But instead of leaving in the proper way, instead of telling Laban, „Okay, I need to get out of here, “ guess what he did again? Old habits come back! It’s easy to go back to the way we used to do things. Well, I ran away before, I think I could run away again!
He deceived Laban. Even if Laban was in the wrong, he still deceived Laban and he left. And eventually, Laban called up to him. But guess what God did? Before Laban caught up to him, God gave him a dream and pretty much said, „Don’t touch him; he’s mine.“ You may be feeling rejected; you may be feeling betrayed. And that spirit of offense is that bait ready to entrap you! But would you believe with me that God is doing things that you can’t see? And He’s declaring you are His! Come on! Would you believe that with me?
The Tug of War Illustration
Let me show you this illustration. You guys come up here. We’re gonna have some fun today because, like I said, everything that Jacob had in his life that was valuable, he felt like he stole or deceived.
And so, this is what offense will do: we’re gonna play some tug of war! Who you got? Who’s gonna win? Be interesting—we should do that after service! Alright, anyway. So here’s what happens when we’re living in offense. We’re constantly living a life where we’re pulling! „No! You need to be on my side! You need to see what I see! How dare you not agree with me!“ And we keep pulling because we’re fighting people! We’re fighting the wrong person! We’re fighting the wrong enemy! We’re fighting people. „No! You need to be on my side!“ No, my side! My side! Do you know what that causes in your life? In the middle of this rope, when two people are pulling on both sides, it causes extreme tension. And the definition of tension means to be pulled apart. And when you walk in offense, that’s exactly how you feel—like you’re being pulled apart. Because everywhere you go, it’s tense! Because you’re in fight mode.
What reward is it to love people who love you? Change your perspective! My fight is not you or you! My fight is the offense that’s in my heart! Maybe because of good reason, maybe because you were really hurt. But let me share this with you: Offense will never let you go. You have to let go of offense! Go and drop it! It’s not going to let you go; you have to let go of it. Thank you guys so much! Y’all give them a hand!
Wrestling with God for Blessing
But I started thinking about this: What if you were called to act differently to experience a blessing instead of pain? Because Jacob had to make a decision after his conversation with Laban. God also told Jacob this—He says, „I want you to go back to your parents' house.“ Imagine what he was thinking: „No, no, I can’t go back there! If I go back there, my brother’s gonna kill me! If I go back there, I’m gonna have to deal with some things that I ran away from a long time ago!“ And God spoke to him, and I love what Jacob said. Jacob said, „You’ve been so good to me! You’ve been so good to me! Will you please just protect me and keep me safe?“
And something extraordinary happened. And a lot of us have read the story and been very confused, but something really big happened. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, a man just comes out of nowhere and starts wrestling Jacob. And then if you continue to read the story, you find out that it’s God! Why would God do that? That’s a little weird! Why would He do that to Jacob? Offense will tell you to wrestle with people until you are pulled apart! But God will allow you to wrestle with Him to be put back together! Excuse me—to be put back together! When we wrestle with people, we cling onto the offense. But what if—this may sound weird at first—what if God is telling you, „Stop wrestling with people. Wrestle with Me! I’m here! Let’s be real!“
What does wrestling with God look like? „Alright, God; you really want to talk? Then why did this happen? You really want to have this conversation? Then I’ve been hurt for seven years because of this! Or I’ve been in a family that betrayed me! I’ve always felt rejected! God, if you’re ready, I’m ready to wrestle because I can’t deal with this!“ And I told you, everything that Jacob got, he stole and deceived again! But in Genesis 32:26, Jacob said to God, „I will not let you go unless you bless me!“ For the first time, Jacob ran to God for the blessing! For the first time, Jacob let go of his offense and he held on to God and would not let go with everything that he had.
For when God wrestles with you, He is not trying to prove His strength, but when He wrestles with you, it is for you to admit your weakness! Because if you read the story, it’s odd-God allows Jacob to win until He touches his hip and pops it out of socket! And Jacob knew this is God! And he held on to Him! I’m asking you to stand because what happened next was a miracle. Everything that God said, everything that God said He would do over Jacob’s life, He did! He protected him! And when he was able to encounter his brother Esau, forgiveness took place! A miracle took place that he did not see coming!
But what if he held on to that offense? What if he kept walking in it, controlled by it? „I’m never going back! I don’t want to deal with this!“ And what do you do? You cling onto that hurt! And then every time somebody speaks something about you, every time somebody does something that you don’t like, it hurts you-even more! Because there’s a deeper hurt inside that you won’t release!
What if God is telling you, „Stop wrestling with people and wrestle with Me! And be honest about all the hurt and all the pain and the things that you don’t understand right now! And allow yourself to be wrapped up in the Father’s arms and to let go of the road!“ Remember, the world will offend you. But living offended is a choice! And I would rather wrestle with God to let go of my pain than wrestle with people to hold on to it.