Bill Johnson - Release Yourself From Resentment
Both jealousy and bitterness are reasonable emotions. There are reasons, right? You talk with somebody; I remember wanting to pray for someone. I could sense something in them. I said, «Do you need to forgive anyone?» Her response was, «You don’t realize what they did to me.» In other words, I have a reason. My reasoning says this is a legitimate response to what was done to me. That reasoning is carnal reasoning. It is unrenewed mind reasoning. It is not biblical reasoning. Biblical reasoning works from the cross toward a situation. Biblical reasoning works from the redemptive work of Jesus toward any broken situation in which you and I are involved. Jealousy enables a person to pervert their perspective in a person’s heart to read wrong motives into someone else’s heart.
The way to walk in forgiveness is to stay away from the idea that you know someone else’s motives. It is forbidden territory; it’s no trespassing. I do not have the right to say, «Well, they did this because of…» I cannot ever do that because the Bible says, «I can’t even know my own heart.» What scares me is that there are people who confess Christ but do not read this Word. This is a knife that cuts and exposes. This thought is from God; this thought is not. How does a person live with ample discernment to recognize when we are entering forbidden territory, trying to figure out another person’s motives? The scripture says, «I don’t even know my own heart; how can I know yours?» The Lord showed me—no, He didn’t show you because He’s a better steward than that. He won’t reveal someone’s heart to another person if it will make them bitter. There is someone who will show you their heart, but it’s not our Lord.
Look at this passage in James. In James chapter 3, there’s a very sobering portion of scripture. By the way, Merry Christmas to all of you. Glad you’re here. Our Bethle TV audience around the world, we’re glad you’re watching. Merry Christmas! I have not forgotten. James chapter 3, verse 13: «Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts—that’s self-promotion in your hearts—do not boast and lie against the truth.» This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, and demonic. Here’s what you’ve got to see: bitterness and jealousy are wisdom.
That’s what it says: this wisdom is not from above. That’s why those who are steeped in bitterness and jealousy consider themselves to be right, discerning, and accurate. Bitterness and jealousy masquerade as the need for justice. They disguise themselves as legitimate wisdom. And for that reason, they are biblically called wisdom. It’s just wisdom that comes from the demonic realm. The battleground for each of us, the biggest battleground we face, is the mind. It’s our thought world. Perhaps someday—maybe in the next year or so—we can take two or three weeks just to work on this one theme, this one idea. If you can imagine, 2 Corinthians 10 talks about pulling down strongholds, and strongholds exist in thought patterns. It’s a real abstract picture and idea, but the concept is very real and very biblical.
Imagine this: in the old days, the big castles were places where the king and his family could hide out if there was an assault. The soldiers could regroup there, recover their strength, and replenish themselves. It was a place of safety, a stronghold. So imagine now that this castle is built of large stones. Each stone represents the illegitimate thoughts and concepts that the enemy raises against us regarding other people or against our identity and destiny. Every one of these stones contributes to the stronghold. Whenever I embrace an illegal thought—let’s say it’s against an individual, sticking with bitterness and resentment—if I entertain a thought that accuses someone in my life, I’ve put a stone there. That stone is not a hiding place for the demonic. But as I continue to build on it, pretty soon I have a castle in my thinking, a stronghold of wrong thinking where the demonic can hide. And you might say, «Well, Christians can’t be that influenced by demons.» That’s just not true. It’s why Paul had such a strong warning in Ephesians 4: don’t give place to the devil. In other words, don’t do it. That kind of thinking is dangerous.
So when you find you’ve been in delusion about bitterness, resentment, or jealousy, it means that repentance is needed. It involves a specific confession of sin. It’s not, «Oh, God, forgive me for having a bad attitude,» or «God, I just haven’t liked this person. Forgive me.» Deal with the lies. The best antidote for lies is truth. Find out what God says about a person. This is an awkward story, and I don’t know if it will make sense to you. It happened to me several years ago while I was going through a Christian magazine filled with conference after conference. I’ve learned that if I know something about somebody or question the integrity of someone very famous, I don’t sit and become bitter and accusatory; I just turn the page quickly. That’s how I avoid the issue. I don’t need to have an opinion about this person. But what I realized is that I was succeeding in resisting the spirit of accusation but was not succeeding in feeling God’s heart for them. The opposite of love is not hate; it’s indifference. Wow. I was choosing indifference as my solution to whatever I questioned about this individual.
So when I realized this was happening, I went back through the magazine. I turned page after page. I saw a conference and stared at the pictures of the people until I could feel God’s heart for them. I turned the page and thought, «Oh God, this person is so highly favored for a reason. I know they paid a price that I’ll never know about, but you favored them because of that.» I turned the page, and something began to activate in me. What you don’t want to do is embrace the nonsense of knowing someone else’s heart. It’s a huge trap. Once you succeed there, you must move to a place where you give people the benefit of the doubt. Giving people the benefit of the doubt is a very important part of life for me. We see it happen all the time. You know, the more we travel and rub shoulders with amazing people all over the planet, the more we occasionally run into a rascal or two. I know it’s hard to believe, but it actually happens.
There are at least two rascals out there: one that Chris knows and one that I know. And so to give people the benefit of the doubt, my dad had this saying that’s honestly one of the most important phrases I’ve ever heard in my life. He would say, «If you wash another person’s feet, you’ll find out why they walk the way they do.» I spent time with some folks who are real rascals. When I washed their feet, I discovered what kind of lives they had. I learned that they’ve never had anyone stand with them. I find out all this through the metaphor of serving that person, washing their feet, so to speak. Suddenly, I realized, «Oh, this is why they limp.» I’d limp too if I had that past. Of course, I’d want to be healed and delivered, but at least I understand it. Does that make sense to you? There’s something about stepping into a place of serving and loving people that you question.
The third critical thing to note is to put the heart of forgiveness into action. Behavior has to be measured through action. Again, a passage I often quote: «If I say I love God whom I can’t see and I hate my brother whom I can see, I’m a liar.» Why? Because I don’t have the right to claim an invisible reality that cannot be demonstrated through my behavior in the natural. It has to be verifiable in how I treat the people around me. So here we have the issue of jealousy. This issue becomes the seabed, the atmosphere for bitterness to take over a person’s life. This issue of jealousy—according to scripture, jealousy and bitter envy—is actually reasonable from the demonic realm. So if it makes sense to you, guess where your thinking is coming from? You’re seeing the situation through the enemy’s eyes—that’s the only reason it’s reasonable.
That’s where this matters. We come before God, drop to our knees, and say, «God, I see this. I’m convinced I’m right, and I know I’m not because it’s contrary to your word.» We come clean with the Lord and we stay there. It may be a repeated situation. I remember a situation years ago where, my goodness, I must have forgiven that person a hundred times a day—literally. A hundred times a day! It was such a fight at work. I wasn’t able to function normally because my mind was so bombarded. But I stuck with it. I made the declaration: «No, I have forgiven this person. I refuse to think evil of them. I will not accuse so-and-so before the Lord. They are a servant of the Lord. They are not my servant. I bless them.» Then I would work to serve that individual. Put forgiveness into some sort of action. So you didn’t win the car you needed; your friend who has three cars now has four? Buy him a tank of gas. Do something practical. We all need fruit that evidences what’s happening inside us. Yes, of course you can fake it, but fake it until you get it. Do the right thing until it becomes your nature to do the right thing.
You hear the question, «Can a Christian have a demon?» I love John Wimber’s answer: «I don’t know why you’d want one; they make horrible pets.» That seemed like the most reasonable answer to me. The scripture actually warns believers: «Don’t give place to the devil.» The point is that a Christian can give place to the enemy’s influence. In Ephesians 4, Paul warned against this and I’ve observed, in the groups of people I’ve worked with for the last 40 years, that the three areas that most open people up to the demonic, from my perspective, are drug abuse, specifically hallucinogens; sexual immorality, especially perversion; and the third one is bitterness. The scariest people I’ve ever met in my life all had one thing in common—they were bitter beyond reason. All bitterness is unreasonable, but these were people possessed by the spirit of bitterness. One I worked with here in Redding; I tried to help him get free, but he just refused. Another person was in Weaverville, and both are now in prison for murder. They both killed people after rejecting attempts to get free from bitterness, which is actually the spirit of murder in diapers. It’s just undeveloped murder—whether it becomes a violent act or not is not the point; it’s what happens in the heart of the embittered, unforgiving person.
The scariest part of the whole unforgiveness issue, which we’ll read about in a few minutes when we get to Hebrews 12, is that unforgiveness defiles. Picture this: I’m the bitter person, and this is the person I’m bitter at. What happens is that the unforgiveness in me defiles me. It defiles everyone under my influence and does nothing to the person I’m bitter at. It’s the craziest thing; it’s like drinking poison while hoping someone else will die. Bitterness destroys the vessel it’s in. We are redemptive people. I don’t think there would be a bitter person on the planet if we saw how undeserving we were of forgiveness from God. He forgave us, and when we see how undeserving we are, how much more must we forgive? Even in life’s worst situations, we must forgive. Forgiveness doesn’t mean trust again; trust has to be earned, but forgiveness doesn’t. Jesus taught several things about forgiveness, and the Apostle Paul taught things worth noting. One is that we receive forgiveness according to the forgiveness we give. The prayer we love so much—"On earth as it is in heaven"—concludes with this statement that we are forgiven according to the forgiveness we extend to others.
I saw this very sobering video of a man who had been raised from the dead. He was terrified by the experience because of where he was going. The story was about this man who had been raised from the dead. He was so paranoid of conflict that any time an argument started between two family members, he would literally get up and run to hide in the bathroom. He’d hide because he saw the effect of bitterness on eternity. It terrified him so much that he would run to hide. Yet bitterness is something people engage in all the time; in fact, it has become empowered and accentuated in the political climate we live in right now.
I believe God is not Republican, Democrat, libertarian, independent, socialist, or anything else we want to label. The question isn’t whose side God is on; it’s whether we are on His side. He has things He loves and things He despises. Mike Bickle made a statement that helped me understand so much: «God’s anger is always aimed at whatever interferes with love.» The scripture says we are to be angry and sin not. The whole notion of the Christian becoming emotionless—that’s Buddhism, not Christianity. That’s Spock from Star Trek! I don’t want to be like Spock! The scripture says to be angry and sin not. Anger is natural; if you’re not angry at certain situations arising in your life or society, something’s broken. It just can’t lead to sin, resentment, bitterness, self-promotion, vindication, or retaliation. Be angry; it’s a sign you’re alive. If you see a child abused and don’t get angry, then you’re dead. Something’s really wrong because that provokes anger. But it should provoke us to become redemptive solutions.
Listen: if I am bitter, my volume increases, but my influence decreases. Bitter people lose trust quickly because everyone in society is looking for someone trustworthy. We vote for this politician, choose that measure, move to this neighborhood, and put our children in this school; it’s always looking for where we can establish trust. Bitter people are not trustworthy. He says, «Be angry and sin not,» and then he follows it with, «Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.»
Here’s the deal: we start the day with what Jesus taught us to pray: «Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.» At the beginning of my day, I’ve determined to live redemptively and am prepared to forgive before I am sinned against. It’s a commitment to live the life of a forgiving person; it doesn’t mean abuse is okay, nor that lying or stealing is acceptable. It merely means I will not become controlled by the sins of another person. I will not let bitterness dictate my thoughts and feelings. I will rise above these circumstances because I want to be a contributor to society.
When I’m filled with bitterness, I’m holding on to the past. If I hold on to the past, I cannot embrace the present and bring redemptive solutions. One of the things the enemy uses to keep us from being a creative, positive influence in culture is to keep us married to yesterday. If I am bound by the effects of yesterday, then I’ve lost my ability to positively affect the world around me. So we have this commandment: «Do not let the sun go down on your anger.» Here’s another statement: John the Baptist said, «Bring forth fruit of your repentance.» There has to be evidence. When we claim spiritual realities, they must be measurable in the natural. Jesus said, «If you say you love God whom you can’t see and you hate your brother whom you can see, you’re a liar.» Claiming an unseen reality must be measurable in the natural; it must be realized in how you treat others.
For example, if I am bitter with someone and I forgive them, my behavior towards them must change. As I mentioned earlier, it does not mean trust is rebuilt after experiences of abuse or theft; it just means I am living in peace and am not controlled by the circumstances of being hurt or abused. So we have this issue of not letting the sun go down on our anger. I start my day as a redemptive person; today I’ve determined that no matter what happens, I’m going to live as a forgiver. I will release people and refuse to be bound by bitterness through the actions of others. But I also must ensure at the end of the day that I don’t let the sun go down on my anger. I may experience frustration and anger because this happened, that happened, or this was wrong, but I’m not going to let it control me. At the end of the day, I must ensure I go to sleep in peace. If I do not, that thorn of unforgiveness gets under the skin; it festers, and it weaves into my personality, into my consciousness and thinking. It becomes a part of the fabric of who I am. The longer I leave it there, the more it begins to define me. Jesus wants us to have every day with a fresh start, where we become true contributors to society. We cannot do that under the influence of bitterness.
I shared a story with you several months ago that I’ll repeat. I think it was Gabe, my son-in-law, who sent me a video of a man who had killed many people. It was a YouTube video of a court case. At the very end, the family members of the murdered children and young people could address this man and share their feelings about him. It’s sobering; it’s not the kind of thing I ever look forward to watching. I’d rather see something funny! But Gabe sent it to me, so I watched it. Person after person looked at this man and said, «You will burn in hell; I hope you rot in hell,» among many other things. I’m not condoning their responses, but I understand; they had a child murdered because of this man. I can’t imagine their pain. The video shows person after person expressing their feelings until finally, a woman stood up and said, «My daughter that you killed was the love of my life, but I forgive you.»
This hardened man, armoring himself against everyone who hated him, was unmoved by their anger. He sat there enduring their responses. But he wasn’t protected against the woman who snuck in forgiveness behind his armor; it pierced his heart, and he began to weep. Here was this hardened man who hadn’t shed a tear in who knows how long, suddenly moved to tears by her forgiveness. He didn’t confess; he didn’t repent; he didn’t do any of the right things. See, forgiveness is as much for us as it is for the people we forgive. It’s how we stay clean. I don’t think it’s a stretch to see where Jesus connects forgiveness to effective prayer. My lifestyle of forgiveness positions me to influence heaven to see answers to prayer that affect the course of history.
When you stand to pray with the context of moving mountains—literally moving obstacles to what you’re assigned in the earth—"When you stand to pray,» He says, «first forgive. First forgive. Make sure your hands are clean; there is no pointing of fingers, first forgive.» It’s not a weekly tuneup; it happens throughout the day because we live life. We have this going on and that going on; things that are offensive and challenging with people who do so many dumb things—and that’s just the church. That just came to me! I feel inspired to share it. I have found that establishing forgiveness in my heart for a person requires me to put forgiveness into an action whenever possible. Why do you think he says to pursue peace with all people, and in that context introduces the issue of bitterness?
I remind you that I don’t even need fruit of the Spirit if I don’t have you all in my life. I enjoy saying that often simply because my love language is teasing. But think about it. In fact, I can think I am patient if I’m not connected with anyone who will challenge that notion, so I can live under the illusion of maturity that is utterly immature. Wow. Because I’m not close enough to anyone who’s going to rub me the wrong way. So here’s what I pray: I don’t know what you feel; I just know what’s going on in me. I’ve had to listen to this message three times, and by the fourth one, I’m going to get saved. I promise! I feel a sense that the Lord is about to take us into realms of breakthrough we never thought possible, both personally and corporately, because we’ve armed ourselves with the humility that says, «I forgive first.»
It’s not because the person has done all the right things or because they admit anything or clean up their mess—it’s because that’s what I owe them. I keep in mind the sufferings of Christ on my behalf. How could I not forgive? If anyone was guilty, it was me, and He forgave me. They’re already living with guilt because of what they did to their brother. They lied to their father, saying he was killed. So Joseph looked at them and said, «Come here.» They came in close, and he said, «I’m your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into slavery. But don’t be angry with yourselves; God put me here.» There’s something about forgiveness that works best when we see the sovereignty of God. That God can take all the elements of our lives—the good, the bad, the ugly—and work them into a God story, a story of glory. The hardest time to do that is when you’re in the middle of it and don’t see redemption or reconciliation yet; you’re right in the thick of being falsely accused; you’re right in the middle of things that didn’t work out as they should have.
Joseph is in this moment, and he calls his brothers close. He says, «I’m Joseph, whom you sold into slavery.» Number one, forgiveness does not forget. The notion that you must forget what was done to you that was wrong is faulty—only God can choose to forget. You and I have to remember redemptively. Forgiveness means I will steward my memories correctly. That’s good. I will steward that memory correctly. Perhaps it was a horrific abuse situation, yet you lived. You must see that memory with Jesus in it, who spared your life. You have to find a way to steward those memories, realizing that there isn’t a possibility of being dealt a hand that God can’t win with; He can turn that situation around for my strength and His glory.
It really comes down to trust—who do I trust? I had a conversation with someone recently who said, «Man, trusting God in this situation is really hard.» I replied, «Yeah, but what are the alternatives? I can trust the one who’s never lied and never failed, or I can trust me.» This has never worked out well. I always end up making foolish decisions whenever I think I’m the source of all wisdom and knowledge for any decision at hand. There’s something about abandoning ourselves. It’s laughable in discussion, but really, He’s perfectly faithful; He’s the absolute perfect Father. He loves me unconditionally. He never lies, and He works on my behalf! Why would I trust my opinion? Why would I trust yours? No offense.
So here we have this interesting story where Joseph acknowledges, number one, that he remembers what they did; number two, he knows it was done for evil; and number three, that God is in charge. He used their decision, meant for evil, for good. Here’s the rub: Joseph is there to save the very ones who do not deserve it. The craziest part comes when Pharaoh meets Jacob; he’s deeply impressed by him because of his love for Joseph, who saved their country. Pharaoh admires Jacob and tells him and his sons, «I’m going to give you the best of the land of Egypt.» So here’s 10 of the 11 brothers who are foolish and these guys who wanted to kill Joseph. God releases rich, prosperous inheritance to those und deserving men because of the favor on one yielded Joseph. That’s okay because you know you’ve truly forgiven when you can celebrate the blessings and prosperity of those who hurt you.
Here’s where it gets interesting: if you’re the Lord and you’re not—and I’m glad you’re not and I’m glad I’m not—imagine that you are writing this chapter—the Hall of Faith, the hall of fame for people of great faith in the Bible: Hebrews 11. You’re writing about Abraham, Sarah, Isaac. You’re telling their stories to honor these champions of great faith. Then you come to Joseph and mention something about him that particularly stood out to God. If I were writing, I’d say Joseph was a forgiver, a dreamer who prophetically heard from God and interpreted dreams; he saved the destiny of two entire nations. But here’s what God said: «By faith, Joseph, when he was dying, made mention of the departure of the children of Israel and gave instruction concerning his bones.» That’s not what I would have chosen to highlight as the mark of great faith. But if we delve deeper, we find significant bookends to Joseph’s life.
He was a dreamer, but everything was centered around him. By the time we reach the end, let’s rephrase that Hebrews passage in my own language. Joseph, standing at the end of his life, announces, «God is still going to give Israel a promised land, so don’t bury me here in Egypt. I want my bones to be the seed of a new nation that God is raising up.» The dreams had shifted from being entirely focused on himself to a focus on the people of God. It had to be about blessing the Lord on the people of God. It could not be centered simply around his promotion. He would lay down his life for the well-being of those around him. That’s kingdom, and it was the journey he undertook.
It says, «Until the time his word came to pass, the word of the Lord tested him.» Until the very end of his life, his final words tell us something important. They indicate a promised land lies ahead; he wanted his bones to become the seed of what God was raising up. Jesus, that’s what God has taken note of: that was faith. It’s faith to anticipate the unknown, the unseen with conviction and purpose, because God has set aside land for the people of God. In between those bookends—from personal dreams to corporate dreams—was a significant test, and it wasn’t just forgiveness. Forgiveness is crucial. It’s how deep the forgiveness penetrated Joseph’s life that profoundly affected his thinking, values, and how he saw people. Everything shifted to allow him to witness his brothers, who deserved punishment, receive undeserved blessing. Can I emphasize this? His family reached a place of honor and prosperity far beyond most everyone in the country, except Pharaoh himself—those who had sought to kill Joseph.
If I can’t celebrate the Lord’s blessing on a sinner, I’m not qualified myself, because that’s me—a sinner who has been forgiven, and I don’t deserve that forgiveness any more than the person who harmed me the most. The sharp edge of transformational prayer is the aggressive posture of forgiving and continuously forgiving. I don’t think that should be reserved for crisis moments—when someone betrays you, steals from you, abuses you—there are so many stories in this room, I get it. I’m not trying to shame anyone. I merely think forgiveness should be an ongoing daily expression of our lives. Here’s this earthshaking prayer about moving mountains, and the next phrase is, «When you stand to pray, forgive.» Let the cutting edge of your world-changing prayer life be your aggressive pursuit of forgiveness toward everyone who needs it. That is what makes a difference!
We’ve got Joseph, the dreamer—the dreamer who, as the word of the Lord tested him, learned how to live in forgiveness, not merely releasing others from judgment, but forgiving to the point where they receive blessings and favor they did not earn. That must be okay! One of the most frightening statements Jesus made was this: «Whoever you forgive, I forgive.» When I read those verses, they make me nervous. I don’t avoid being nervous before God. I know that if I feel nervous, I’m the one who must change. I enjoy reading those verses and pondering their implications. There is something about my capacity and commitment to being a forgiver that actually accelerates the revival and the move of God on the earth. I don’t understand how it works; all I know is He said, «If you forgive, I forgive.» In other words, «Son, if you show favor to this person, I will back your favor with My favor. If you show mercy, I will extend My mercy; if you show grace, I will extend My grace.»
He can do it all without us and do it better, but He has chosen us as collaborators to lead the charge in what it means to be an undeserving people that stand in forgiveness. I personally think that’s why the Lamb of God is on the throne for eternity—not just the Lion. The Lamb’s presence is not to remind us of sin, but to remind us of grace—the ongoing daily, continuous need for God’s grace in our lives.