Bill Johnson - How to Trust God In the Valleys of Life
Wow, I believe in prophetic art, and I think the Lord has spoken so clearly tonight. I feel the wind on these paintings; He loves for me to hunt deer in the woods. Yes, Lord, yes, Lord, continue to speak, Lord. You felt the anointing come on that, didn’t you? Man, I’m not sure I can function any longer. Sometimes it’s clearer than others; I can actually see it. This is beautiful, which shows His kindness because I didn’t even need Him to speak for me to know what I’m supposed to do. It’s just so good of Him. Wow, it has been so long since I have been here in this position. So thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you too!
This was wonderful—wonderful—beyond words to finally be back in the pulpit. We thought it might be best if I tried a Sunday night first since 3:00 in the morning could kill me. That was the concern of my family. Anyway, I’ve been here the last couple of Sunday mornings, first service, opened up the second one, and went home to rest. I wanted to start talking to you Sunday night, so here we are. I’ll try to keep it as—not brief. That’s not going to happen. I’m not sure what to tell you. I’m a little hesitant to talk to you about the last couple of months just because I don’t like it when people come to conclusions too quickly. Sometimes we go through things and think we know what’s happening when we’re clueless. So I’m going to talk to you cluelessly and do my best, knowing that there are weeks and months ahead where I expect the Lord to unravel more.
But I want to do two things. I want to teach out of the Word. I don’t like just giving personal stories. I think it’s valuable, but I just don’t enjoy it personally. I’d rather open the Word and do it that way. So what I’m going to do is take you through my journey the last two months, and then we’ll go to the Bible so that I feel better about the evening. We’ll either read three portions of Scripture, or I’ll make reference to two and we’ll read one. We’ll see how time goes. This will probably be the only time I actually talk about the last couple of months.
Last October, I started feeling unwell, but it wasn’t all the time. Every few weeks, I just felt really nauseated. That was new for me, and I started paying attention to it. It actually began to increase probably around December or January. If I ever get sick, I never throw up, so forgive me for too much information here, but I don’t like when people talk about pooping and throwing up from the pulpit; just personally, those aren’t things I enjoy hearing about, and I’m only going to share half of that with you. I hadn’t thrown up in over 20 years, and last October, I felt really sick and threw up again in December and January, and it just kept increasing until April when I was the sickest I’ve ever been in my life. I was in Copenhagen, Denmark, and Michael Van Tiner, my assistant, who is a medical doctor, was traveling with me. I spoke on a Sunday morning, and towards the last half of the message, I started to feel really sick. I literally walked off the pulpit, went upstairs to the green room, where we spent time as a ministry team, and went right to the restroom and lost whatever I had for breakfast.
I immediately missed my 2:00 meeting with leaders and the evening healing meeting, which is always classy when you’re puking your guts out and can’t go to a healing meeting. I needed the healing meeting in my room! The last time I threw up, I lost 16 times that day. I hardly ever do that, so not only did I lose lunch and breakfast, I began to lose vitality. That’s an exaggeration, but you get the point. I was really sick, and Michael called a local doctor in Copenhagen. He came to the hotel room and gave me a shot, and I noticed he washed his hands many times as if I were contaminating the planet. He didn’t know what it was, but he was just trying to help because the next day I had to get on a plane and fly home. It’s not smart to get on the plane if you have something contagious, but I didn’t feel it was contagious. I just felt something was wrong that needed to be fixed.
Anyway, I ended up going to the doctor. I had gotten blood tests in January, and they ran some tests, and things seemed fine. We were hoping to adjust with diet, but it wasn’t working; I was actually getting worse. I went back and ended up getting a CT scan that showed inflammation or something in the small intestine. They didn’t want to do anything here. I have a surgeon friend here, Dr. Gonzalez, who is a kind individual, and he had worked on a hernia I had. I admire him a lot and wanted him to help me, but he wouldn’t touch it. So I thought, «Uh oh, I have an untouchable kind.» He recommended someone in San Francisco. Benny and I set up an appointment and went down. This particular doctor did an endoscopy and found out it was more than an inflammation. A blockage had occurred in the small intestine, and I hadn’t been able to eat anything for weeks.
If I ate something, I just felt sick. During the endoscopy, they drained a liter of fluids from my stomach, but they couldn’t fix the problem. So they went back in to do a «roto-rooter» job from the inside, trying to remove it. I heard about a man who was about to have that procedure. Under his hospital gown, he took a Post-It note and stuck it to his backside that said, «Peace to all who enter here.» Sorry, I know you didn’t sign up for this, but anyway, they couldn’t remove it from either angle. I met with a surgeon who was absolutely an amazing man. I enjoyed every time he came into the room. He was gracious—a touch person, an affectionate individual. It was fun to interact with someone with that kind of grace on their life. He is known worldwide for a particular surgery they felt I needed called Whipple surgery. The problem was the tumor, the growth inside the intestine, was too close to the bile duct. So they were going to have to cut out an entire section, including half the pancreas and a whole bunch of other stuff, then reroute everything.
It’s a real challenge. People I’ve talked to who know anything about this surgery say, «Don’t do that. Just don’t do that.» But that was the only option. The only option was if the previous doctor who found this growth measured it and was off by 1 centimeter, this doctor needed one extra centimeter. He couldn’t make it work unless there was that extra centimeter. So, a whole bunch of people started praying. I tell you, I have the greatest gift I think I’ve ever received—besides the Lord Himself—my family is the gift of prayer support from all over the world. It’s overwhelming, the amount of people that connected with us during this time, and the prayer support was incredible. Our big cry was, «God, please add a centimeter; two or three if you get extra, just keep me from this one that is very difficult.»
The comforting news was this particular doctor does four or five of these surgeries a week and is probably the foremost doctor in the world for this particular surgery. Going into this, I only had one word; I didn’t have the Lord speak to me at all during this time. I had people prophesying constantly, which I value. I have a list that I would read, reread, and pray over. I would review the prophetic words given to me over the last year or two—something I still do continuously. As I was getting sicker, sometimes on a Sunday, I would leave in the middle of a service. The most important time for me of the year is our School of Ministry graduation; I planned everything around that, and I had to miss that, along with the leaders' advance and other events that thrill me. I could tell what was happening—I just had to dial down, cut off everything, and just do one thing: trust.
So, going into surgery, it was my third time under anesthesia in just about seven days. When I woke up, my family was there, and their first words were, «No Whipple! No Whipple! No Whipple!» They didn’t have to do the Whipple; they were able to do the other procedure! They informed me that I was not in intensive care, which was fantastic news because I expected that. The crazy thing is that I couldn’t eat for a long time, and after that surgery, I didn’t drink a glass of water for ten days—nothing! So, I have a weight loss program that I can help anyone with; I’m not sure it’s imparted; you may not want it.
I went through that surgery, and here’s one thing I think I do fairly well in my life. I hate self-analysis, but I think I do okay with this: I don’t have a habit of asking the Lord why. I don’t need to know why; I’m not paid to know why—I just need to know what to do; that’s all I need to know. I don’t need an explanation. There’s very little comfort in knowledge; there’s a lot of comfort in presence. My problem with asking why is that most of the time, when people tell me the reason, they didn’t hear from the Lord because they were so desperate for an answer that they made one up. When you do that, you create a theology that explains why something didn’t happen instead of a theology that allows for something to happen. You’ve heard me share it before: one man was healed at the pool of Bethesda. If that were to happen today, the theologians, the preachers, the Bible teachers, the newspaper people, TV people would interview the hundreds of people that were around the pool that didn’t get healed. Our bent in this hour is to create a theology around what didn’t happen instead of what God points to that did happen.
So I went through the surgery. It felt like I was in there forever, and Benny was the ultimate trooper, obviously by my side all the time. She would take me for walks down the hospital hallway, and I’d see people. One of the nurses walked into the room and called me, «Papa Bill.» Her sister is someone I know who put on a conference that Heidi Baker, Randy Clark, and a bunch of others did here in Thailand last year. It was fun to hear her and walk down the hall, have somebody recognize me, and ask for prayer. We look a mess, with my little feeding tube going with me. Eventually, they would unhook me so I could just move.
You know, hospital gowns—let’s talk about hospital gowns; they’ve been the same for 100 years. You’d think someone could develop something a little more advanced. Hospital gowns have a lot of revelation—there’s no impartation, but there’s a lot of revelation in hospital gowns. Of course, I had one on in the front, but I put one over the back too before going down the hall. I was in there long enough to have four different roommates, and one of them didn’t wear a gown in the back; let me just say that, and there are some things you cannot unsee. You can’t unsee it once; it comes back at the wrong time.
I was in there long enough; I had two guys go through who had kidney transplants; they got out before I did. Little did I know it was crazy. Benny stayed in a hotel in San Francisco for 19 days total. We got out; I spent two more days just at the hotel before making the drive home. I’ve just been starting to eat again. The good news is, I have been able to eat! Bambi’s dad has been sleeping around—I put him out of his ministry; he had no value whatsoever! He beats up younger bucks! It’s my job to send him to meet Jesus in contribution to revival. I’ve been able to eat everything I want, except for the really hot and spicy food that I like; I can’t do that yet.
Honestly, I can eat; my strength is returning! I started working out again last week. I love to lift weights and work out regularly; I started last Monday. The soreness can be from doing featherweights, but it’s the kind of sore you look forward to if you work out. So anyway, I’m doing well. I’m thankful to be alive, thankful to be here, and thankful for all the incredible prayer support. I’m thankful for a perfect Father who only does marvelous things; that’s what the Scripture says—He only does wondrous things, and it’s all He’s ever done.
Let me now shift into the Word. In Galatians 5, it lists the fruit of the Spirit: love, patience, kindness, longsuffering, all those fun words—fun words that basically say, «Hang on; I’m going to work something in you.» Then in 1 Corinthians 12, we have the gifts of the Spirit—gifts of the Spirit, of course, are miracles, healings, prophecy, tongues, interpretation, wisdom, etc. There’s this glorious list. Interestingly, the gifts of the Spirit are plural, but the fruit of the spirit is actually all nine. It’s not called the fruits of the Spirit because He doesn’t work one of those things into you; when He’s working in you, it will manifest in nine different realms. You will see patience increase, but patience without love isn’t worth much. So you always see His workings in us.
What I’d like to do is describe these two realms of the Spirit in us differently than I have before. It’s not a secret that we live here for breakthrough. I had to pray for two people with cancer this morning, man! I love it! Let’s go after it! Crohn’s disease—just line them up; let’s go after it! This morning was wonderful to finally be back where I could get my hands on people.
That’s what Jesus did—He didn’t counsel people to be comforted with their problem; He brought deliverance. Just what He did, and that’s the model He gave us. It’s interesting to me that I have been writing a book, and I’ve had the hardest time finishing it. I had to put it on hold until after I got out of the hospital; it was about a third done, and now I’m about three-quarters done. It’ll be finished within two weeks, but it’s about the goodness of God. I had the sense in the beginning that the Lord was just going to touch me uniquely to talk about His goodness. I love this subject so much—I love the study of it. I love proclaiming it; I love everything about it! His goodness is beyond any possible description I could give.
He’s more faithful than I can define faithfulness. His kindness, gentleness, love, and affection—all the things that are literally life and breath to me—He is that infinitely more. His goodness is the greatest vacuum in human consciousness that exists on planet Earth. Jesus came to reveal the Father as a Father to a planet of orphans. In doing so, He came to reveal this Father as perfectly good. So I’ve been on this journey; we’ve been doing this for a lot of years—not just something that started the last few weeks. There’s been a unique touch; in fact, I’ve never done this in my life. This is the only time I had the Lord speak to me and tell me to write a specific book. All the other books I’ve written, I’ve brought to Him and said, «Lord, what about this?» and He’s confirmed it, affirmed it, and spoken to me about it.
I was resistant to writing a book on «Face to Face with God.» The reason was, when I spoke the series that book is based on, it scared me. The first Sunday I spoke it, I trembled for two or three days afterwards. If I just thought about the message from that Sunday morning, I could feel a shaking inside. I didn’t know if I could handle writing a book on it. I remember crying out to the Lord, asking what He wanted me to do. A publisher suggested I write on that subject, so I was praying.
It was interesting; I was out of the city, out of the state, and I was real quiet with Benny and a few team members. We were eating at a restaurant, and when I think, I get real quiet. I don’t talk a lot; I don’t verbalize what’s going on because most of the time, I’m clueless about what’s going on. I just know something is happening, and I’m trying to process it. I get up to use the restroom, and in the wall of that restroom was the key word that was being used for this book. It was the word «quest.» It was actually the title of the series, «The Quest for the Face of God.» I had been asking the Lord if I should do this.
I don’t want to make it too dramatic, but I was troubled over it. I walked in and etched in the wall were the words, «the Quest.» Okay! Alright! I had asked the Lord for direction before, and He’s confirmed it, but He had never spoken to me about writing something like this. This time, He did. I was in a prayer meeting with pastors upstairs, and God spoke very clearly, «You need to write about My goodness.»
I won’t encourage people to be foolish, but I think the secret is building a life that’s filled with the goodness of God. The one thing I never want to do is misrepresent His goodness. I might exaggerate it, but I also don’t want to misrepresent it. You can distort it; you can water it down, and you can misrepresent it, but you can’t exaggerate it. What’s been boiling in my heart is His passion. During this journey, I’ve done no writing whatsoever. After arriving home, it’s just been flowing—easy. It’s one of the easiest things I’ve ever had to write. The previous difficulty wasn’t because of the subject, but just because of the challenge. Since I got home, I’ve been writing and writing and writing, so thankful for this bubble of grace to celebrate His kindness.
Here’s what I feel He wants me to learn: I was born for breakthrough. When the outpouring of the Spirit came in Acts chapter 2, it had an initial purpose and a secondary purpose. The 120 met in the upper room; the first thing that happened was they were filled with the Spirit of God with power. Miracles began to break through. The number of conversions was stunning! Peter, who was not a great communicator previously, had a tendency to put his foot in his mouth. He spoke with incredible eloquence and power, so much so that on the first day, 3,000 people got saved. Suddenly, there was a movement throughout Jerusalem, with estimates of 50,000 born-again, Spirit-filled believers connected to this God of miracles.
However, they all wanted to stay there and form a club. They didn’t go where Jesus said to go; the apostles didn’t go; the church didn’t go. So the Lord, in His mercy, because the church didn’t go, allowed for persecution to come. Is persecution God’s will? No, does He sponsor it? No. But when you keep the people of God together and they start threatening the powers that be—the religious and political powers—something of the demonic stirs up in people, and persecution comes. The church began to spread. When they spread, they spread as missionaries and began to bring change everywhere they went. The miracles that began to take place were extraordinary! What was the outpouring for? It was for power; it was for miracles; it was for signs and wonders; it was for tongues, interpretation, and prophecy.
The gifts of the Spirit are for the manifestation of power, but the fruit of the Spirit reveals the second purpose. The first purpose for the infilling of the Spirit of God is endurance. Endurance is what you do until you get a breakthrough! I read a Psalm this morning that is probably everyone’s favorite—certainly one of them: the 23rd Psalm. Most everyone can quote it! I read it out of the Passion translation; I can’t quote it that way, but I sure do like it.
He says, «The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.» I mentioned this morning in the second service, I’ll say it again here: be more connected to what God has said about you to the point where you declare it over your life. In other words, declare over your life: «I shall not want. I shall not want for anything. I am not in lack.» I am rich in Christ! I may have a challenge here; I may have a challenge there, but I see the unseen realm, and I am in Christ where there are no limitations, no restrictions, no restraints on answers and breakthroughs. When this is declared—the Lord is my shepherd, He’s my pastor, and because of that, I shall not want—I will never lack for anything!
I will never lack! Yeah, but Bill, you don’t know my circumstances. Yeah, I do. Some of the most important times to speak opposite of circumstances are when you’re in the middle of what looks impossible. I think there are very few things you can do to bloody the nose of the devil quicker than to look in the middle of an impossibility and say, «I shall not want! I was born for divine health!» Yeah, but you’re in the hospital? Yep! I was born for divine health! I am being trained and equipped for divine health. It sounds crazy to anyone outside of the Lord, and even to a few that are in the Lord; they just don’t have right thinking yet. The Bible says, «Let the weak say, 'I’m strong.'»
Why reinforce what the devil says about you? He makes me lie down in green pastures. That room didn’t look like a green pasture to me, but I did lie down. He leads me beside still waters. I could only look at them; I couldn’t drink them. I’ve always admired those who fasted; I’ve gone on many fasts—not as many as Lou Engel and some of my heroes. I don’t even want to; it’s not in my heart to fast like they do.
I know people that, when they fast, see visions of God. I see visions of food! You’ve heard the story—several years ago, I did a 40-day fast, and during those 40 days, I ordered 29 cookbooks from Amazon.com. I don’t even cook! But I would look at the pictures of the food and think that’s the will of God for my life! I’d order it because I’m on that one-click thing—I have everything figured out. I don’t have to fill everything out; I go, «One Click, Boom! Mine!»
Then they bring up pictures and say, «Those who bought that cookbook also bought these,» and I’d look at them and think, «Well, I see why.» I even bought a deep fryer. We don’t eat fried foods, but I started having visions of sweet potato fries because sweet potato fries are not fried food! I don’t care what they tell you—it’s right down the center of the health food mandate!
I sat in the hospital room with a horrible channel selection on TV, horrible! But they had public television, and in the mornings, they have cooking shows! I didn’t know this! I sat there hour after hour watching. I couldn’t drink water, but I was planning the rest of my life! People ask me, «Why do you torture yourself?» All I’m doing is building up hope! I am addicted to hope, and I’ll do anything I can to strengthen it.
I just watched them cooking; it was beautiful! I would sit there with my phone; they’d put the name of a restaurant there in San Francisco. I’d get my phone and take the name of the restaurant, thinking, «I’m going there!» When I can eat again, I’m going to that restaurant because I’m going there! It’s pitiful!
He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside still waters; He restores my soul. You know, most of the time when God is working deeply in you and me, we really don’t have a clue what He’s doing. The most profound things aren’t even recognizable for months or sometimes years. That’s why I don’t make gardens grow quick; fruit trees take a while. The lasting stuff we like to see happen in our lives really happens over time.
He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Here it is: «Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.» I can’t tell you how I knew this, but I knew towards the beginning of this little journey that it was going to be the valley—excuse me, the valley of the shadow of death, not the valley of death!
I will fear no evil because You are with me. There are measures of Your presence, realms of Your presence you can only find in the shadow; you can’t find it in the party. I’m the party person—I live for breakthroughs! For 20 years, I’ve talked about things of this nature. I doubt I’ve talked about it a half-dozen times—probably two or three times, four at the most.
I realize it’s a reality, but I live for the breakthrough! I live for the continuous hope! I live for the promise yet fulfilled! I sat there in my home, sick like a dog with my iPad in front of me, just reviewing prophecy after prophecy after prophecy! Each day before going into surgery, I read the prophecy—the words spoken over my life, spoken over my family. I cannot afford to lose sight of what He said! I can’t afford it! I re-read and prayed over those words over and over again and again!
Benny would head home for the evening after being there all day, and I would just review it again, never being more than this far away from what God was saying. I didn’t have the Lord speak to me during that time, but sometimes He doesn’t need to speak if He’s already spoken! I need Him to speak when He’s saying something new, but if He hasn’t changed the subject, I just need to review what He said.
This is why I find my appetite, my hunger, my goals, my visions, my dreams—everything about my life—is bold faith! That’s what I want! I want to see bold faith come out of my life! But here’s the secret I found: bold faith stands on the shoulders of quiet trust.
I doubt there’s a person in the room that wouldn’t line up for the bold faith impartation; that’s what we live for! The bold faith—the breakthroughs—the impossibilities to reverse and turn! But sometimes, we don’t know as much about Him as we think we know.
We can only find that by facing something for which you have no answer; but you trust! I wouldn’t wish it on anyone; I don’t think you have to go through anything I went through. Some of you have gone through things far worse than anything I ever faced. I’m not waving the martyr flag here; this is my journey. In this journey, I’m more convinced than ever of His goodness.
I’m more convinced than ever that He only does wondrous things—His nearness is what impresses me. I didn’t have a word except the thing about trust. I didn’t have a word at all! But I did have His abiding peace and presence, and I’m so thankful!
It’s like the predominant feature I feel over my life is that tangible peace! Here’s what He says: He restores my soul; He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. But that path doesn’t go where I’m thinking it’s going. It says, «Even if that path takes me where I have to actually walk under a shadow, I refuse to be impressed with the shadow.»
I refuse to be impressed! Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil because He’s there! I found Him there; I have Him on the other side of the shadow.
There’s something strange in Scripture where the Lord sometimes veils Himself in darkness—not in evil, but in darkness. I remember reading a devotion of my grandmother. In her final years, she could not read well at all and eventually couldn’t read at all. She was just a saint; she was a saint!
Her picture is on the milk carton; it says «Saint» on the top—she was a saint! She would want me to read to her, so she had certain chapters of the Bible memorized. She would have certain Psalms that she loved to quote. So I’d have the Scripture, and she would quote them for me, just to stay current.
I remember reading a book—actually, it was a devotional by Corrie ten Boom. How many of you have heard of Corrie ten Boom? My uncle was a friend of hers. I remember reading something she wrote; she said that sometimes the Lord hides us under the shadow of His wing, and sometimes it’s only dark because He’s so near.
I’ve got really good news: this is worth your evening right here! Sometimes it’s only dark because He’s so near! There’s something about that shadow of His wing—He’s just covered Himself!
My heart is bent towards discovering His presence, not answers. Now, I like answers—don’t misunderstand me, but God’s never on trial with me! I’m not going to withhold my love until He explains Himself. I’m not going to withhold my obedience until I understand—I’m not going to withhold anything from Him.
I don’t need any explanations. The bottom line of my life is, in the last 15 to 20 years especially, I have discovered the goodness of the Lord in a palpable, tasteable measure. He said, «Taste and see,» and I found out you can see what you taste, but you’ve got to taste first.
That was free! So I’m going to charge you for the next one: taste and see. If you will experience it, your perception will increase! Sometimes we want to perceive before we experience. There’s something about His goodness that gives me hope: a family of believers like you could actually become so immersed in His goodness that the revelation of His goodness becomes contagious!
People who have never had a passing thought about God suddenly begin to dream of His goodness. Neighbors who have never once prayed in their life see something favorable happen and stop to say thank you—even if they don’t know who they’re thanking!
There’s something about your life being so set that maybe for the first time in history—at least that I know of—an entire city can taste and see that He’s good. It would be palpable; you could smell it. You could see it on households; you could see it in businesses; you could see it in schools; you could see it in the eyes of people who used to be at war with you; you could see it!
They live from this place called the goodness of God. Interestingly, something happened with Gideon. I’m about to wrap this up; just a warning! Something interesting happened; a lot of us love Gideon because he was so fearful, and we can identify with him.
He just had a hard time coming to grips with the fact that God chose him and then chose him to do something significant. It’s a great story! Gideon had a point where the Lord spoke to him, «Gideon, if you’re afraid, take your assistant, your servant, and go into the enemy’s camp.»
Now I don’t know if that sounds reasonable, but the enemy’s camp is what I’m afraid of! Why would I want to go into the enemy’s camp if I’m afraid of the enemy? There are some things you can’t get where you’re safe.
Some things that you hunger for, you’ve actually insulated yourself from; you’ve set the stage so well for your comfort that you don’t have access to what you’ve asked for. Rarely does He give us what we ask for before we need it.
It’s like getting on a plane; you get the ticket when you step on. That’s just the way He seems to work. You don’t usually get it three months in advance; you get it just when you’re stepping into the direction. So here’s Gideon; he’s scared to death. God has sent home his entire army! He’s got 300 guys and is facing tens of thousands of warriors!
He’s scared! So God says, «If you’re afraid, go to the enemy’s camp.» The very next scene is him in the enemy’s camp! What does that tell you? Yes, he’s afraid, but he went down by night. So smart! He hears people talking—two soldiers talking in a tent.
One guy says, «I had this dream! A loaf of bread rolled down the hill and wiped out our tent.» You know, I’m not the best dream interpreter, but I’d think «Pizza!» or «Spicy foods! He shouldn’t have watched that TV show before he went to sleep!»
But his partner says, «Oh, that’s none other than Gideon, the servant of the Lord, and his army! They’re going to wipe us out!» How did he get that from a loaf of barley rolling down the hill? It’s awesome!
Even if it wasn’t the interpretation, that’s what Gideon needed to hear! He heard it and said, «Yes, we are!» He walked back out of the camp and got his courage, but he got his courage in the weirdest place—in the valley of the shadow of death!
That’s where he got it! He got it where, in the natural, he wasn’t safe, but because he was sent by God, he was completely safe! He heard what he needed to hear. I have this sense that I never want to encourage people to be foolish, but I sense there are a few folks in the room who have kept yourself so safe that you’ve kept yourself from the present word of the Lord that is to bring the breakthrough in your life.
I don’t mean to do something foolish; I just mean break down the barriers that have kept you safe! Open yourself up! Watch what the Lord will do! He’ll speak to you! Somebody will have the weirdest dream, and you’ll know exactly what it means! «Oh, that’s Gideon! That’s the barley loaf guy!»
The Lord just speaks that way. He speaks in the most unusual ways just to reinforce the call in your heart. I’m on a journey. I’ve been the bold faith person—not always filled with bold faith, but at least going in that direction. That’s what I want!
That’s what I live for! I would never say I haven’t developed trust in Him because that’s a large part of my life—just quiet trust. I’ve been emphasizing bold faith—bold faith, bold faith! I get launched into a three-month period where nothing’s working! I mean, the people I pray for—nothing!
I could tell! I just didn’t want to speak—not out of discouragement, not out of depression; I can feel it: «I’m being set down.» Bill, it’s time to sit! I’ve been sitting! Just reading promises—reading the encouraging words! I collect words! I have one set in here that’s just all prophetic words on one particular theme.
I take all the pieces and put it in one document. I lay in the hospital just reading my dream list. My life doesn’t end in the hospital! I’m just being trained for my dreams! That’s all! I’m being trained for my dreams! This is not an ending; it’s, in a unique way, a new beginning.
It’s where the renewed strength of the eagle kicks in—it’s where you don’t function for a while. Why? I don’t know why, but I know it’s right! You don’t function for a while, and it’s alright! My identity isn’t in what I do; it’s just not!
I feel like that was settled a long time ago. My identity is entirely in the One who calls my name, and that’s it! He called me by name; that’s my identity! So bold faith—a weird three months. I don’t want to idolize the valley of the shadow of death because I’ll create a theology that says let’s build a tabernacle here.
I don’t want to build one there! I don’t want to build one in memory of the hundreds who were around the pool of Bethesda that weren’t healed! I want you to know this is probably the only time I’ll talk about it. My hands are cleansed; if I do it again, it’ll be by accident or because He told me to.
Season for breakthrough! I have to be careful; my ring doesn’t fit anymore. It just comes off! In my bathroom, I have a sink where there’s no thing in the middle to stop things from going down. I was washing my hands, and just as hands slipped down the hole, I swept my ring down and said, «Oh, thank you, Jesus!»
I should probably put it on a different finger; maybe that would work! This is really random, isn’t it? If I start waving my hands, and it flies out, just return it to me, please! It means a lot to me.
Why don’t you stand? Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil! Say that with me! I will fear no evil for You are with me! Say that! You are with me! Your rod and your staff comfort me! Isn’t that amazing?
His authority brings comfort to me! How many of you are in a season right now where you feel like you don’t feel all that powerful? There are times I feel, «You know what, I can feel the wind of God on my back; I’m just ready for the next problem!»
I wish that were there all the time! It’s not! Sometimes, you just have this sense: «Yeah, I really don’t feel powerful.» Well, you know what? His authority comforts me! It’s not mine; it’s not title; it’s not position!
You get into moments—the valley—of the shadow of death! I don’t know—I don’t want to dramatize this, so forgive me if that’s what I’m doing—but being unable to function, I didn’t regret not preaching a sermon, not going to a nation, not talking in a service, not failing to write a book.
The only things on my mind were family and friends—just people! Just the gift of being able to hug someone one more time—just to go to the little league games! There are no regrets there! You don’t stand before the Lord wishing you could buy one more home in your lifetime!
You don’t wish you could have gotten one more college degree! It’s just all about family, friends, and the gifts of people around you. That’s my last crack at it! You pray now, you prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
It was not bad enough going through the valley of the shadow of death; now He has me sitting down eating a meal with the devil watching! I happen to love that verse because it’s my conviction that every time I say, «I love you, Jesus,» God puts it on the devil’s intercom, and he has to listen to someone in love.
He makes him listen because it reminds him, word after word, day after day, of what he will never have again! «I love You, Jesus!» There’s a banquet prepared, a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup runs over!
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life! I want you to see this: when you walk out of here today, you’re being chased by two angels—one is named goodness, the other mercy! They are following you every day of your life!
They’re just following you! You can’t run fast enough! They’re following you because they are there to add the very touch of the grace of God on your life so that you become a walking revelation of His goodness, His kindness, His grace, His mercy!
Grab a hand; I want you to pray. Here’s what I want you to do: pray for the person on your right and left. God, make them contagious! Make them contagious! Put it in your own words—just pray, «God, make them contagious! Let the goodness of God be seen all over their life, their countenance—everything about them reflecting Your goodness, Your grace!»
Pray for their life of quiet trust! Pray for their life of quiet trust—that’s what God’s building! He’s building in secret the quiet trust so that in public, the bold faith can be seen! We can’t live a dual world; pray for the quiet trust. God, build in them the deep foundation of quiet trust that instinctively turns to You regardless of circumstances, absolute confidence in You!
You can drop hands! I caught this picture: heaven sees quiet trust; people around you see bold faith. It’s not either-or; I just want to be recognized by heaven for the absolute bedrock of quiet trust but at the same time impacted by everyone around me by the power displayed in bold faith!
Put your hand on your heart, just symbolically! Pray for yourself in that way—do it out loud; don’t be a chicken! Do it out loud! Pray like that! The quiet trust! Lord, let heaven recognize quiet trust and the world around me recognize bold faith!
Yes, God! Yes, Lord! Now before we open this up for ministry, I just had this sense, actually while I was talking, that when I talked about bold faith standing on the shoulders of quiet trust, clarity came to some of you about what you’re going through.
You’re in a season where God is building something in you that is really stable, really strong! It’s really good, and I feel like we’re just supposed to join our faith and pray, «Lord, let this be thorough, quick, and take them into bold faith!» If that’s you and you say, «That quiet trust thing made sense; I want it done quickly, but I want it done,» put your hand up because we’re going to pray for you!
Is that like everybody? Who am I going to have pray for you? Well, some of you didn’t raise your hands, and you’re going to be really busy! Put your hand on the shoulder of someone in front of you, behind you, or next to you—it doesn’t matter—just pray for somebody who has their hand up or maybe someone who doesn’t! Just pray for them!
Build something in them that all of heaven celebrates! Build something in them that all of heaven celebrates! Absolute confidence and trust in the Almighty God—His promises, His nature, His character, His person, His presence, His goodness! Thank You, Lord! Thank You, Lord! Wonderful Jesus!
Let this be thorough, but let it be quick! We can never speed up the process, but we can do a lot to slow it down! So we’re praying, «God, help us to stop getting in the way!» Help us to stop getting in the way! Oh, Jesus, help us to stop getting in the way! Amen! Amen! You did good! Thank You, Lord!