Bill Johnson - Finding Freedom in Forgiveness and Letting Go of Bitterness
So far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Do everything you can possibly do on your end to stay undefiled by the spirit of bitterness. I realize there are horrific stories represented in this room. The things that some people do to others are just crazy, just stupid. But there is no liberty for you outside of forgiving. I have a few little signs here that I like: either you like bacon or you’re wrong. That’s just not a good way to start this meeting, is it? What do we learn from cows, hippos, and elephants? It’s impossible to lose weight by eating green grass salads and walking. Huh, that works. This was apparently in a church bulletin: there will be a talk entitled «From Cannibalism to Christianity,» followed by finger foods. Not a well-placed announcement, I agree. People need to learn the difference between want and need. I want a nice body; I need banana pudding. One last one: you’re all aware of the Romaine lettuce scare right now. Donuts are healthier than Romaine lettuce. I’ve been waiting my whole life for this moment. That’s funny; that is funny.
All right, Hebrews chapter 12. Why don’t you open your Bibles, please, to the book of Hebrews, chapter 12? The five scariest people I have met in my life, the most terrifying people I’ve ever encountered, were all bitter. I think the most terrifying vice or iniquity is the vice of unforgiveness. Bitterness is something I don’t know anything else that destroys and ruins a life quicker. In some circles, it is commonly accepted as almost a virtue. Some people call it discernment. Bitterness is always justifiable to the bitter; there’s always reasoning behind resentment and bitterness. My favorite virtue is thankfulness. Thankfulness has goodness; it almost insulates a person from things that would normally contaminate or cause a person to stumble or hurt. It doesn’t mean it keeps us from pain; it just keeps us in a place where we’re healthy. Thankfulness is so bizarre that you can put it in an early New Testament context of being invited by a neighbor and then offered their food, which could be tainted, and it’s possible for that meal to be sanctified by the word of God in prayer.
The issue of thankfulness in a person’s life, if I could go to the opposite extreme, my favorite virtue would be thankfulness, while the scariest vice or iniquity is bitterness. I’ve worked with people for many years in pastoral ministry and counseling. I’m so glad I don’t counsel anymore; thank you, Jesus. There is a song in my heart going on right now; we don’t have time for it, but oh, it is there. I used to counsel, and I don’t anymore. I don’t know if I mentioned that, but I don’t counsel anymore. I’m going to forget what I’m talking about because I’m so thankful. I’m just so thankful I’m insulated from everything else right now because I’m so thankful.
You hear the question, «Can a Christian have a demon?» I love John Wimber, and I think it was John Wimber’s answer when he said, «I don’t know why you’d want one; they make horrible pets.» That seems to be the most reasonable answer to me. The scripture actually warns believers, «Don’t give place to the devil.» The point is that a Christian can give a place of influence to the enemy. Paul, in Ephesians 4, warned against this. I’ve watched, in the groups of people that I’ve worked with for the last 40-some years, that the three areas that open people up to the demonic, from my perspective, are drug abuse, specifically hallucinogenics, sexual immorality, especially perversion, and the third one is bitterness. The five scariest people I’ve ever met in my life all had one thing in common: they were bitter beyond reason. All bitterness is beyond reason, but these people were possessed by this spirit of bitterness. One of them I worked with here in Redding trying to get him free, but he just refused. Another one was in Weaverville. They are both in prison for murder; they both killed people after they rejected trying to get free from the issue of bitterness. Bitterness is actually the spirit of murder in diapers—it’s just undeveloped murder. Whether it actually becomes a violent act or not isn’t the point; it’s what happens in the heart of a person who is embittered and unforgiving.
The scariest part of the whole issue, the subject of unforgiveness to me, we’re going to read about it in a few minutes when we get to Hebrews 12, is this statement that unforgiveness defiles. If you could picture this: I am the bitter person, and this is the person I am bitter at. What happens is unforgiveness and bitterness in me defile me and everyone under my influence. It does nothing to the person I’m bitter at. It’s the craziest thing; it’s like drinking poison and hoping someone else will die. Bitterness actually destroys the vessel it’s in. We are redemptive people. I don’t think there would be a bitter person on the planet if we saw how undeserving of forgiveness we were from God; he forgave us. I don’t think it’s possible to see how undeserving I am and how he forgave me, how much more must I forgive, even in life’s worst situations? Forgiveness doesn’t mean to trust again; trust has to be earned. Jesus taught several things about forgiveness, and the Apostle Paul taught several things that I think are worthy of note. One is that we receive forgiveness according to the forgiveness we give. The prayer we love so much, «On earth as it is in heaven,» concludes with the statement that we are forgiven according to the forgiveness that we give to others.
I saw this sobering video of a gentleman who was raised from the dead, and he was absolutely terrified from the experience because of where he was going. This man was so afraid of conflict that when an argument would start between two family members, he would literally get up and run and hide in the bathroom. He would hide because he saw the effect of bitterness on eternity, and it terrified him. And yet bitterness is something that people broker in all the time. In fact, it has become empowered, accentuated, and emphasized in the political climate we live in right now. God is not Republican, Democrat, libertarian, independent, or socialist—whatever you want to fill in the blanks. I get that he’s not. The question isn’t whose side is God on; the question is, are we on his side? He does have things that he despises and loves.
Mike Bickle made a profound statement that helped me understand so much when he said God’s anger is always aimed at whatever interferes with love. And scripture says we are to be angry and sin not. So this whole notion of the Christian coming to a place where there is no emotion—that’s Buddhism; that’s not Christianity. That’s Spock on Star Trek. I don’t want to be like Spock. He said the scripture says be angry and sin not. The emotion of anger is natural; if you’re not angry at certain situations that arise in your life or society, something’s broken. It just can’t lead to sin, resentment, bitterness, or self-promotion. Be angry; it’s a sign you’re alive. If you see a child abused and you’re not angry, then you’re dead. There’s something really wrong because that is supposed to provoke anger.
But also, it is to put us in a place where we become redemptive solutions. Listen, if I am bitter, my volume increases while my influence decreases. Bitter people lose trust quickly because everyone in society and culture is looking for people to trust. We vote for this politician, we choose this measure, we move into this neighborhood, and we put our children in this school. It’s always an issue of trying to find where we can set our teeth into a place of trust, and bitter people are not trustworthy. He says, «Be angry and sin not,» but then he follows it with this statement in Ephesians 4: «Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.»
So here’s the deal: we start the day with what Jesus taught us to pray: «Our Father who is in heaven, hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.» At the beginning of my day, I have determined to live redemptively. Before I am sinned against, I am prepared to forgive. It’s the commitment to live the life of a forgiving person. It doesn’t mean abuse is okay; it doesn’t mean that lying or stealing is fine. It just means I am not going to become controlled by the sins of another person.
I’m not going to let the spirit of bitterness dictate my thoughts and feelings. I will rise above these circumstances because I’m going to be a contributor to society. When I’m filled with bitterness, I’m holding on to the past. If I hold on to the past, I cannot hang on to the present and bring redemptive solutions. One of the things the enemy uses to keep us away from being a creative, positive influence in culture and society is to keep us married to yesterday. If I am bound by the effects of yesterday, then I have really lost my ability to have a positive impact on the world around me.
We have this commandment to not let the sun go down on our anger. Here’s another one: John the Baptist made this statement: «Bring forth fruit of your repentance.» There has to be evidence when we claim spiritual realities; it has to be measurable in the natural. Jesus said if you say you love God, whom you cannot see, and you hate your brother, whom you can see, you’re a liar because claiming an unseen reality has to be measurable in the natural. For example, if I am bitter at somebody and I forgive them, my behavior towards them has to change.
It doesn’t mean that if there’s an abusive situation, or if they’ve stolen or done something terrible, that trust is rebuilt. It just means that as far as it depends on me, I am living in peace, and I’m not being controlled or manipulated by the circumstances of being hurt or abused. So we have this issue of not letting the sun go down on our anger. I start my day as a redemptive person, having determined that no matter what happens today, I’m going to live as a forgiver. I am going to refuse to be bound by bitterness through the actions of others, but I also have to ensure that, at the end of the day, I don’t let the sun go down on my anger.
I may experience frustration and anger because this happened, or that happened, or this was wrong. But I’m not going to let it control me. At the end of the day, I’ve got to make sure I go to sleep with peace. If I don’t, that thorn of unforgiveness gets under the skin, it festers, and it gets woven into my personality, into my consciousness, and into my thinking. It becomes part of the fabric of who I am. The longer I leave it there, the more it begins to define me.
Jesus wants us to have every day with a fresh start, where we become true contributors to society. We can’t do that under the influence of bitterness. I remember years ago, I was counseling someone—have I mentioned that I don’t counsel anymore? Oh, let’s just sing a song of gratefulness to the Lord. There is a song in my heart. I want you to know that right now I’m experiencing great joy. Anyway, I was sitting with this couple in counseling a long time ago. She was mad because he had done something ten years earlier. That’s a lot of sunsets going down on anger. So we’re friends, talking, and I found out she’s been carrying this for ten years.
I said, «Alright.» I looked at him and said, «Did you ever repent for what you did?» He said, «Yeah.» I said, «Well, where’s the evidence?» Now, that sounded like an accusation, but it was just a conversational tone. The scripture says, «Bring forth fruit of your repentance.» If you don’t have any evidence, if your internal decision doesn’t affect your behavior, you have no evidence you’ve forgiven. If it doesn’t affect your behavior, then it’s just a philosophy. He didn’t call us to a philosophy of forgiveness; he called us into a lifestyle of forgiveness. It has to be proven through action.
So I asked, «Do you have any evidence?» He said, «No, I don’t.» I said, «Alright, let’s meet again next week and just bring me some evidence.» They came in, and I sat down. I looked at her and said, «Is there any evidence?» She said, «Nope.» I looked at him and asked, «Do you have any evidence?» He said, «Yeah.» He began to make a list, and her eyes opened up. She realized she had become the problem. He caused it, but because of bitterness, she extended it. Does that make sense?
Let me rephrase this: her bitterness blinded her to the reality of his repentance. Bitterness distorts perspective. It distorts how we view not just the situation or the person who hurt us but life in general. Life becomes interpreted through our history of pain, and even if we’re not bitter, if we hold onto these issues, we still shape how we view present situations. If we are to be instant in season and out to be redemptively functional in any situation, it means yesterday cannot have lasting influence on my life except for what Jesus has done.
Back to the story. I asked, «Do you have any evidence?» He said, «Yes,» and began to make a list. She realized he was correct; he did have evidence of his repentance. The point is, embracing a philosophy of being a forgiver is not going to fix a problem. When there are measurable actions, maybe you take a day to fast and pray for that person. Perhaps you make a phone call. I remember making specific phone calls to individuals who had really hurt me, calling them to bless, honor, or in some way serve them. It hurt inside, but the only thing that hurt was the part that was supposed to be dead, so it wasn’t that big of a deal. Don’t protect what should be dead; submit it to the obedience of Christ.
If I’m forgiving this individual, then I need some behavior changes. Maybe the person who abused me is dead and I can’t do anything for them, but you know what? I can pray for the blessing of God on their descendants in some way. You can come before the Lord and say, «God, I know that I did not deserve your forgiveness, and you forgave me. I ask that you would give that same mercy to this individual who hurt me.»
What I have brought into my life as a regular discipline in recent months is that Benny and I like to take communion often. I had it this morning; Eric and I both come in early in the morning, around 5:00 to 5:30, to pray and get ready for the day. I like to bring communion with me so that I can pray. I pray over every member of my family, make confessions about the Lord’s healing, and pray for those who need miracles. I hold the blood before the Lord, proclaims that as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. I remember to mention each family member and pray for them uniquely; then I pray for those whose ministries have taken a position to oppose me publicly, or to write a book, or hold conferences undermining me.
I have had them meet me at the airport; I’ve had just weird situations, like protest banners in front of conferences where I’ve spoken. It’s because they love me so much, and they just don’t know it yet. I have a list of five people, three of whom are recognized worldwide, who have taken this position to oppose me. You should never criticize a servant to that servant’s Master. There’s no right for a believer to accuse another believer before God. What I do is bring their names before the Lord and pray.
This morning, I prayed, «God, I pray that they would lack nothing, that they have everything they need in life, whether it’s finances, favor, or open doors for the gift you’ve given them.» But the thing I love praying for them the most is that, «Father, I ask that you would give them the joy of having children who have children who would serve you wholeheartedly.» They would have the privilege of having children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren who would serve you with all their hearts.
What you have to do is have evidence that an internal decision has been made and is carrying out. Sometimes it’s prayer; sometimes it’s a gift; sometimes it’s a phone call. It’s something we do to make sure that, as the scripture says, «So far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Do everything you can possibly do on your end to stay undefiled by the spirit of bitterness.» Amen?
We haven’t got to Hebrews 12 yet, have we? Just trust me, it’s good. Let me make one more comment, then we’ll read this. Because of the politically heightened conflict that exists in our country right now, we need people to hold to righteous values without becoming bitter. One of the hardest things in the world is to minister to a group of people without picking up their offenses.
In fact, let me make two more comments. It’s challenging—listen carefully. It’s very difficult to minister to a group of people without picking up their offenses. For example, it’s very difficult to minister to the poor without being offended at the rich. It’s also very difficult to minister to the rich without being offended by those who don’t work. It’s hard to minister to children without being offended at adults who don’t prioritize the life of a child. It’s tough to minister to adults without being offended by a younger generation that shows them no respect.
It’s difficult to minister to one race without being offended at another race. The list goes on and on, and sometimes people’s ministries are defined by what they’re offended at instead of the actual ministry of the Gospel. I believe that God cares about the issues that are at stake in any of the nations represented in this room. He doesn’t have opinions; he’s right. Was it Joshua who saw the Lord and said, «Whose side are you on?» The angel of the Lord responded, «Whose side are you on?» That’s the real question.
Having said that, I don’t think on many issues the enemy cares what your opinion is, as long as you leave the character of Christ to defend it. In many areas of our life, I don’t think the devil cares one bit about your convictions regarding an issue as long as you leave the character of Christ to defend it.
Hebrews 12:12 says, «Therefore strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees. Make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather healed. Pursue peace with all people,"—man, I love that—"and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord.» I have that phrase underlined: «without which no one will see the Lord.»
Looking carefully, lest anyone falls short of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by this many become defiled. Lest there be any fornicator or profane person like Esau, who for one morsel of food sold his birthright. You know that afterward, when he wanted to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no place for repentance, though he sought it diligently with tears.
Don’t skip the sobering passages of scripture; don’t just read the verses that make you feel like the king of the earth. Read the things that cut deeply because we need them. The fear of God is a huge part of our walk with Christ, and this is part of it.
Verse 15: «Looking carefully, lest anyone falls short of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.» This phrase concerning bitterness and many being defiled has been racing through my mind for several weeks, and I’ve been looking forward to today. Happy Thanksgiving, by the way!
I am thankful but I’ll be more thankful when, if you’re not bitter. You know, it’s been racing through my mind in recent weeks because I can see and feel the defiling effect of bitterness from a person onto another person. Where the Lord is taking us is deeper into places of service, love, care, and influence, but we can’t survive it if we don’t know how to resist picking up the offenses of the people we love and care for.
I was just talking with some friends of mine two weeks ago. We were able to spend some time together for a birthday or holiday gathering I forget what it was now, and something in the food didn’t taste right. Everyone just went ahead and ate it, even though it didn’t taste right. Then it hit everyone; everyone got food poisoning—everyone but two people. Everyone got food poisoning that ate this stuff, and many were defiled.
If you eat the meal of criticism and accusation, you’re being food poisoned. The Lord—here’s my prayer for today—would be either that we’d be ridiculously thankful or that we would become allergic to bitterness. You’d break out in hives or something, you’d start twitching—I don’t care what it is—but in some way, you begin to manifest when you get around bitterness because it is that defiling. To see the effect of bitterness on the human soul and a family is profound.
I realize there are horrific stories represented in this room. What you’ve gone through is beyond words. I’ve spent enough time one-on-one with people to know that the things that some people do to others are just crazy—it’s just stupid. But there is no liberty for you outside of forgiving, there just isn’t. We become defiled by our own entertaining thoughts of accusation.
Paul made this great statement in Philippians 4. I’m sorry; I should be giving you references. If I had my act together, I’d have verses on the screens along with the references, and you would be all the smarter because of it. Philippians 4:8 says, «Whatever is lovely, whatever is of good report…» All these thoughts—we must think on these things.
Does anyone else ever have accusations about someone come to your mind—a thousand a minute? Maybe not a thousand; perhaps just a hundred a minute. The accusations that come, if I don’t—if I don’t proactively counter that, not by rebuking it but by replacing it—it can only plant a thought where there is no thought. I have people that have really affected my life in not a positive way, yet I know that they have a relationship with the Lord.
What I’ve had to do is come to the place where I actually fear Christ in them so that I maintain awe and respect for them. Jesus has redeemed them; he has changed their life; he has forgiven them. They’re not perfect, but neither am I. We rub each other the wrong way. Something happens, and those thoughts bombard the mind. If I can’t get victory that way by praying aggressively for them—not against them—then I just turn my attention to my wife because she’s everything in Philippians 4:8.
She’s lovely; she’s of good report; she’s all the things listed. I just think about her, and I’m delivered right there. I just come right out, and I’m okay with that. Whatever works for you, you can think about my wife, too, if you want. What I can’t afford to do is spend time thinking something that has the potential to set down roots in me and shape who I am.
Listen to me: bitter thoughts are not okay; they are not okay because it’s what predestines imprisonment to something that destroys us. I say this because I’m concerned about what I hear and see. I’ve taken time to reflect on what I grew up with, watching what happened with people I tried to help counsel, and crazy situations where someone went and killed somebody. Just crazy, crazy stuff.
The two that scared me the most were the two people in a church that I would go to serve. They were possessed by bitterness and resentment, and they could not reason. I don’t see that here, but I also know you and I are made of the same stuff. If they can do wrong, then I can, too, and so I want to ensure that I have the tools in place to walk in forgiveness and walk redemptively.
The answer is not to create a big defense; the answer is offense. A good offense is the best defense—keep the ball out of the hands of the enemy. Just don’t give him a place; don’t give him a place. He has no right to set up influence. Here’s the deal: I’m praying that everyone in this room would become allergic to resentment.
That the discernment level in your heart and mind and in my heart and mind would be so heightened that if we get near it, we automatically come in redemptively, knowing we cannot afford to be influenced by this that is sent from the powers of darkness. My hope is not to survive but to overcome.
I don’t want to be the last one standing; I want to be part of an army that makes a difference. Obviously, I don’t want to see people fall to that spirit of bitterness or that control, but more than that, I want to see a redemptive army thrust into deeper and deeper places of influence—people who know how to forgive.
You read the quotes from some of our nation’s heroes throughout the years. You read the quotes, I’m sorry, I’ve got them in my iPad; I didn’t think to bring them up, but some profound statements from Martin Luther King Jr. about forgiveness. The place of influence is really given to those who know how to forgive, and I pray that for you. I pray that for me, that the Lord would continue to thrust us into places of influence because we know what it is to walk as a redemptive army of forgivers.
Why don’t you stand with me? We’re going to pray together. You know my dad used to have this statement: when you wash another person’s feet, you find out why they walk the way they do. Some people you may be offended at—you wouldn’t be if you figuratively washed their feet; you’d find out why they limp like they do.
So, Father, make us allergic. Let allergies spread through the room right now, in Jesus' name. You know what I mean, right? I do pray, Lord, for a great grace to live redemptively at a level that’s beyond anything we’ve known. You’ve lifted the veil, so to speak, allowing us places of influence to serve and love well, and I just ask, God, give us discernment. Give us grace in every environment to be an influence of forgiveness.
Now I’m going to ask everyone to please hold your place, Bel family; hold your place if you would. I want to give an invitation for people to know Jesus, and I don’t want to do that with people walking around because it’s too easy for others to be distracted. The greatest miracle that could happen here today would be for someone to say, «I want to know what it is to be a disciple of Jesus. I want to know what it is to be forgiven by God and to walk as a forgiver.»
If there is anyone in the room who would say, «Bill, I don’t want to leave the building until I know I’m at peace with God and have been forgiven of sin,» then I want you to put a hand up where you are. We are just going to make an agreement with you. We had five people in the first service respond to this invitation to know Jesus. Is there anyone this morning in this service? Just put a hand up.
I want to make sure that we give full quality time for you to come to know the forgiveness of Jesus. For those who are watching by Bethel TV, we just announce to you that the forgiveness, the grace of God is available to you as well. I pray that you and I would be able to spread the forgiveness of Jesus through our city this week. I just pray for that great grace. Amen? Amen.