Beth Moore - Rehab for Approval Addicts - Part 4
This is the neatest Word. I think about it so often. I think about it a lot in prayer and will say it back to the Lord. The word that is "to know hearts" is a compound word in the Greek, so it is a putting together of... heart is "kardia" in the Greek. If you're picturing with a C in the Greek transliteration, it would start with a K. And the rest of that word, ginóskó, means "to know," means "to know," so this word, it's all one word in the Greek, and it's kardiognóstés. Kardiognóstés. Kardiognóstés. Kardiognóstés. And you know what it means? The heart knower. The heart knower. That our God is the heart knower. He knows the heart, and he's testing the heart that our hearts might prove genuine, that our faith would prove genuine. And I will say this to you: do you trust God with your heart? Because this is what he's after.
"Master, what is the priority commandment," Mark chapter 12 says. And Jesus said, "Love the Lord your God with your whole heart, soul, mind, and strength. And love your neighbor as yourself". Heart. After your heart. We believe in our heart. Confess with our mouth. I want you to picture with me that we just got a jar up here and it represents the heart. We just take the lid off and look in it. It's just like the depths, depths. You've got depths in your heart. One of the things I love about Romans chapter 8 is it talks about the Spirit interceding for us according to the will of God. And it talks about how the Holy Spirit groans in intercession for us with words that cannot be uttered, and it says that he searches the deep things. Does it ever frustrate you, do you ever, you know, are you ever around anyone that only talks about themself? That your whole relationship is built on how you both pay attention to them. They pay attention to themself, and you pay attention to them, and that's how the whole, things work.
And so, you've not been asked one single time how you are because how the relationship is built is that you build them up, that you build them up, that you build them up, and that you build them up. And then, when you walk to the car and she goes, "It was so much fun. It really was. It really was". Anybody know what I'm talking about? Because have you ever felt like, "Do you want to know me"? You know, we're in this age where we're calling people our friends that we've never laid eyes on. I like that. I like having friends on Twitter and friends on Facebook and friends on Instagram. I like all that. Listen, I'm a party animal. I'm very, very social. I love that. I love that, but we are ceasing to be known. We've given up the people that know us 'cause this is so convenient. You really don't have to change. You just pose as who you wanna be out there. Who has to change? 'Cause we give up the close relationships, too. Is because they might see inside of us and go, "Something's off with you right now. Uh-uh. Uh-uh".
Do we have people close enough? We long to be known. We long for someone to want to know us, to care to know us. Do you know what's amazing about the Holy Spirit of Christ? Is that he's searching the deep things that he already knows. He still is searching you out. Finds you so valuable, so worth knowing that he's searching you out when he already knows what he's gonna find. What a gorgeous thing. How true is your heart to him? Here's what we could do. All we have to do is check any of our prayer lives. Do you get down to the real depths with him? Who hurt your feelings? Did you tell him? Did you tell him? Who do you feel like you just can't get over, resenting? Did you tell him? What are your dreams and hopes? What did you wanna be when you grew up and why? When was the last time you told him that? Have you told everybody else but him? Have you told him that even though you try to be as joyful and upbeat around people as possible, maybe you're the comic in the crowd, but you're so depressed in your heart you do not know what to do? Have you told him? Have you told him? Did you not tell anybody that you had something in your heart toward that guy, that you really believed that maybe he was the one?
Kept it a secret 'cause you didn't want anything to go wrong in here. And then it just didn't work out. Nobody knows that your heart is broken, feel rejected. Did you tell him that? You're going, "He already knew". Yeah, but he searches what he already knows. That is intimacy with God. That there's absolutely nothing that you would withhold from him. You know, it's the most beautiful thing, the most beautiful thing when we see what God is about in testing us and proving our hearts genuine and proving us genuine. Do you remember back in 1 Peter 1 when it says "so there would be praise and glory and honor when Jesus is revealed"? I wanna tell you something that is just mind-blowing. I'm gonna read that to you again so that you can hear it since I've had you turn away from it.
Listen carefully. 1 Peter chapter 1. It says, "So that the proven character of your faith," verse 7, "more valuable than gold which, though perishable, is refined by fire, may result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ". Of course, the praise, glory, and honor of Jesus himself. Of course, that goes without saying, but I want you to check the commentaries, one right after another, and you will see that the praise, glory, and honor is what Jesus is giving to his own faithful followers. This is the essence of when he is revealed and says, "Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into your master's happiness. You were faithful with a little. I'm gonna put you in charge of much". This is the commendation that the Scripture talks about in a number of places in the Word of God, where he himself goes, "Good job. Good job". We want that, just to be faithful servants. We want that.
I looked up what it means, 'cause praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed, what's glory mean? What does glory mean? The word "doxa," and it is a word, listen carefully this, because I think this is really interesting. "Etymologically, the word primarily means thought or opinion, especially favorable human opinion, and thus in a secondary sense reputation, praise, and honor. The doxa of a man is the human opinion of the man". Listen to me carefully, because here's what he's talking about. That we have this natural inclination in us to get praise from people. That's what that word "glory" means. We're looking for that. We want people to build us up. We want people to praise us. We want people to commend us, and he's going, "Listen, live for the commendation of God, because nothing is like the commendation of God".
Seeking God's approval over man's is not just right. It's a relief. I wanna be bold enough to say that if you and I honestly could break out of the bondage of being people pleasers, start becoming people blessers... it's not that we want to displease people. That's wrong too, but we wanna bless. We wanna bless. Whatever that looks like in God's opinion, we wanna bless. That if we would break out... can you imagine the increased capacity for joy and just contentment, if not full-on happiness, if I didn't have to define myself the way you see me, if you weren't my mirror, if that person wasn't your mirror? Ephesians 6 tells us when it says be strong in the Lord and the strength of his might. Take up the whole armor of God so that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil, because you do not war against flesh and blood, but against rulers and authorities, against cosmic powers in this present darkness, against spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the whole armor of God so that you may be able to withstand in the evil day.
Having done all to stand, stand firm, then, with the belt of truth around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness. And he says that in all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish, not that you might, you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the enemy. Then he talks about taking up the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. Okay, how many hands do most of us have in this room? How many hands? All right, we got two hands and two weapons. One is defensive. One is offensive. We need a shield of faith in one hand, and we need the sword of the Spirit in the other.
And listen, ladies. Listen, ladies. It takes both. My take on it: this is for you to pray through. If this does not bear witness to you, do not receive it, but if it does please consider it in prayer. My gut for now is that we've got a lot of believers that either only have the sword of the Spirit. In other words, Word of God, Word of God, Word of God, Word of God, no faith, because the things of the Spirit are too scary and too hard to control, so we're just going to do this. Can I talk to anybody about it today, or, I mean, do we wanna do the real thing today or not? So, we've got the sword. I mean the sword, and we don't mind cutting off somebody's ear with our sword. Anybody know what... we do not mind wounding one another with that sword, instead of fighting the battle in the heavenlies with the sword.
I have a feeling there's some sword fighting going on between factions, and so here we are fighting with flesh and blood when he's going like, "You know what? Aim your sword high. It's in the heavenlies". And then, we have the shield of faith and no sword of the Spirit. So, I mean, we're all about faith, but we don't even know the promises of God. We're not grounded in the Word, so we're calling people all manner of, just pulling words out of the air, pulling words out of the air. I've had people say to me so many times, "Do you have a fresh Word for us today"? I said, "Well, I have the same old one," you know, because this is the Word.
Do you know, ladies, as I speak to a primarily female audience, I don't have to tell you that we live in a culture that says women are as valuable as we are sensual. And I wanna tell you something. That's a lot. That's a lot to live with. That's a lot to put up with. That's a lotta pressure. And then, what happens? We live more of our lives older than we do younger. What are we supposed to do with that? So, I mean, listen. And it just gets younger and younger. Older gets younger and younger. Have you noticed that? Let me say that again. Older just gets younger and younger, so, I mean, like, at what point are we over the hill? Twenty-five? Do anybody understand what I'm talking about? What are we gonna do with that? There's a place where approval comes up in the Old Testament that is particularly unsettling for women. I've never loved, never enjoyed teaching or perhaps even writing a Bible study more than I did "Esther," if you've never done "It's Tough Being a Woman". I mean, we had a blast in that series, a total blast in that series, and we get all into this and all into this concept, but I wanna remind you of a part of it.
Esther 2:17. I'm gonna read it to you and listen carefully to our Word. "The king loved Esther more than all the other women". He'd gathered a harem together. And forgive me. I don't wanna be overly bold here, but they'd all had tryouts. They had been put through days and days of beauty treatments getting ready for their tryout with the king, who'd already put away his old wife because he wanted her to come and strut her stuff in front of a bunch of drunks. You can check Esther chapter 1 to see if I'm telling you the truth. And she went, "Actually, N-O. No". So, he's had her put away, and it says, "The king loved Esther more than all the other women. She won more favor and approval from him than did any of the other virgins. He placed the royal crown on her head and made her queen in place of Vashti". I don't know how that makes you feel, especially for starters. I have such a terrible past. I'm trying to think, "How old was she? And would I've even fit in with the virgins"? Anybody know what I'm talking about? Is this how it's gonna be?
Listen, I want to be a joy and pleasure to my husband. I want him to be able to say, when death does us part, that he was so glad he married me, and that I was really fun, and that I took good care of him and he took good care of me. But if I've got to constantly fix myself in such a way to get his approval, I'm exhausted by that. Gotta tell you kind of a funny story on him. He is a wonderful man, but I got to rag on him just a second, 'cause somebody is gonna be able to relate with what I'm about to say. I had gotten a new piece of equipment. I'm trying to think if it would have been my elliptical. This would have been some, oh, I guess about eight years ago. I have always worked out. I have a lot of energy, and I have to do something with it, so I've always worked out. I had a treadmill, a little gym in my home. Weights. That kind of thing is just part of my routine, but I'd gotten a new piece of equipment, I think an elliptical, and I'd been working out a little while. And I was in a pair of shorts, and I was standing in front of a full-length mirror. And I had my leg like this, and I was going like this 'cause I was thinking to myself, "It's coming along. I can see some difference right here". And I was pretty like, "That's not bad. That's not bad".
He comes in. He looks at me, goes, "I know, baby. I'm getting older too". What did you just say to me? I mean, I just had to hold on to something before I said, "You know, actually, dude, I was thinking to myself how good it looked," 'cause at that time, you know, I'd probably been, like, 54. You know what I wanna scream every now and then? "I'm 54". I'm not trying to look 30. I don't have to look 30. Now I'm 62. I don't even... oh, oh, wait a second. I don't even have to look 54 anymore. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of it. I believe what is most appealing to people is someone who feels pretty comfortable in their own skin. That's what I believe. I believe that overwhelmingly. What would make me a pleasure to be around is that I'm pretty comfortable being in this ever loosening skin. What can I do? What can I do? I just wanna know who I am in Christ. I don't want to be who you need me to be. Too much pressure. Oh, I have to perform for you. I mean, I saw the name of a book not too long ago. It was called, please bear with me, younger women. Please bear with me a second. "Sixty Is the New Sexy".
I need to tell y'all something. It's not true. It's not true. It's not true. It's not sexy. And you know what? It doesn't have to be. Does anybody know what I'm talking about? Why would I have to be sexy at 60? I wanna tell you something. I have never felt better about who I am than I have felt in the last decade. Part of it is because I no longer even have to compete. There comes a time when I go like, "You're 40 down. Go on and knock yourself out". I can just go in my old legs in my bathing suit. I went through my 40s that I would not wear a bathing suit very often in a public place because I felt under such scrutiny. I will wear my bathing suit freely now in my 60s 'cause I'm like, "You know what? What you gonna do"? My friendships are better than they have ever been, richer than they have ever been. I am truly happier in myself, in my own heart than I have ever been. I can tell you, young women, if you will drown yourself in the living water, it will only get better. It will only get better. Don't you be afraid of age. This is how we get home. This is how we get home. See, you're young, I'm old, but I got something on you. I'm nearly home. Home. This, this is freedom. This is freedom.
Number five, our approval as beloved children of God rests in Christ alone. We've been talking about the approval of God, to be trustworthy with sharing his Son, to be genuine and true. He prioritizes genuineness over all of our volumes of knowledge. We don't have to act like we know more than we do. Let's be genuine with what we do know. Let's feel like we could say to someone when they ask us a question, "But what about so-and-so"? You know what? I have no idea, but I know this: I can tell you what Scripture says about Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and that "he so loved the world that he gave his only Son so that those who put their faith in him would never perish but have everlasting life". I know that. I know his Spirit resides in me and that he empowers me by his Spirit to be who I could not be, to know what I could not know, and to do what I could not do. That I know. Why can't we just be genuine with what we do know? We don't have to act like no one else. We don't know it all. We don't. We don't. We can't answer all of it. I just know that Jesus is faithful to his Word. I know that I wanna know him more than anything else in the human experience. That, that, but I do want you to know this: your approval as his child, as his daughter, that rested entirely in Christ. You are approved, royal daughter. Entirely, completely approved without any condition as his daughter, 100% approval.