Beth Moore - These Words of Mine - Part 4
I didn't have this in my notes, so I don't know if I should say it or not, and this is when I usually say it. One of the things about us, this is, men can do this just as easily. It's just that I happen to be a woman, and so I've seen it with women. I've done it. I've seen it with women over and over again, if I may be so bold, especially older women, I wanna talk to you right this minute, who will not allow the family to deal with their problems because they prefer denial to health, and I say to you, if you've got your family where everybody has to live in a false reality because nobody can deal with their issues because somehow you think it's gonna reflect badly on you if people admit to what has happened inside the home, I say to you today, come to freedom. Come to freedom, and be the first one that says, "You know what, let's all get well together".
That sometimes we'll think, I remember talkin' to a woman who said to me, she was about, this was years ago. She was about my age, and she says, "It's just too late for me to change". It's like, are you crazy? Until it's too late for you to breathe, it's not too late for you to change. Here's, one agenda: God is forever conforming us into the image of Christ if we're in him. That means one thing: we are under change and transformation and construction at all times. Just go right on with him. Go right on with him. Let's not keep our family trapped in bondage because we are too fragile for everybody to admit we've got a problem. I'll leave it at that. John 21, this is after Jesus has been raised from the dead. If you recall, what was our one word? Tell it to me. Okay, it was in the chapter right before this. This is when, you know, she's just crying her eyes out, "Where is Jesus? Where have they put him? I'm going to get him". All of this, and "Mary, Mary", well, this is the very next chapter.
And this is where he sees the disciples on the boat, and he asked them if they've caught any fish. And, you know, that's so annoying when you haven't caught any fish, and so he says, "Why don't you cast it on the right side of the boat, and you'll find some". And they did, and then they were unable to haul it all in, and don't you know that, every now and then, those fishermen were thinkin', "You know, you're a carpenter. We are fishermen". Here's the thing that just drives you crazy sometimes about Jesus is that he really is a know-it-all. I mean, that he knows how to do your job at work better than you do. It's like, I mean, do you have to be great at everything? But the answer is yes, that he even knew how to fish. And so, well, they couldn't even haul it in. Well, then, so the disciple, the one Jesus loved, you know who that is, "said to Peter, 'It is the Lord.'" It is the Lord. It's the real, live Lord right there. "Then Simon Peter heard it, that it was the Lord".
I just love this because he puts his cloak on, and he just jumps in the water. What a beautiful scene because this is the one that's denied him. Well, let me tell ya somethin': he's not denyin' him now. He just swims and swims and swims and swims to that shore to see Jesus, and Jesus has got a charcoal fire there. "Come and have breakfast," he says. So then he goes into this restoration moment with Peter: "Peter, do you love me"? "Peter, do you love me"? "Peter, do you love me"?
I want you to look a little later in the conversation, such a gorgeous conversation, but it says in verse 18, and it's Jesus talking to Peter, "'Truly I tell you, when you were younger, you would tie your belt and walk wherever you wanted. When you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will tie you and carry you where you don't want to go.' He said this to indicate by what kind of death Peter would glorify God. After saying this, he told him, 'Follow me.' So Peter turned around and saw the disciple Jesus loved following them, and the one who leaned back against Jesus at the supper and asked, 'Lord, who is the one that's going to betray you?' When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, 'Lord, well, what about him?' And he said, 'If I want him to remain until I come, 'what is that to you? As for you, follow me.'" Here are your ten words: "What is that to you? As for you, follow me".
Anybody already on to where this is going? You know how often we're in somebody else's business with the Lord? "They're getting to do so-and-so". "They got chosen. We didn't". You see what I'm sayin'? This constant, this comparison thing, it is constant, especially if it's someone with a similar gift mix to yours. Oh, it's just constant. It's just constant. We're always wanting to know, and in some terms and in some ways, because of great endearment and great affection, "Lord, what are you going to do with these children of mine"? if we're parents. There are a lot of people we wanna know about. If you're married, you're just more like, "When is this breakthrough going to come"? "You know what, what is that to you"? "Well, it's a lot to me". "What is that to you? Tell you what you do. You follow me. You follow me".
This is a ready question, and I love it, that every one of these, we've already talked about. These words we're getting, word 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, these words that we're getting, going all the way to 15, are starting points. They're not ending points, but let me tell ya somethin': they're ready for us, they're ready for us so that, every single time, we've already got that red-letter sentence in our mind. "What is that to you? You follow me. That servant is my business, and I'll deal with it". Now, here's what that doesn't mean. See, when we're in such a day and such a culture as our present moment, then I have to issue a few timely disclaimers. This doesn't mean that we allow someone to get away with crimes on our watch. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about jealousy. I'm talking about competition between people. I'm talkin' about getting in Jesus's business with someone else. I'm not talking about when someone needs to be turned in to the police. Can everybody say amen?
Crimes are different than what we're talkin' about here. This is about competition. What is that to you? "As for you, follow me". This whole comparison thing nearly kills us, and it certainly kills our joy. Number 11, you're gonna go back now. You're in 21. You're gonna go back to 20. I read this to you at the very beginning of our lesson on the very first evening toward the start when we were placing our first word on the paper, which was "Mary". I want you to notice something. Look in verse 15. Just before it, it says, I wanna start at 11, so we can give it some fresh context: "But Mary stood outside the tomb, crying. As she was crying, she stooped to look into the tomb. She saw two angels in white sitting where Jesus's body had been lying, one at the head and one at the feet. They said to her, 'Woman, why are you crying?' 'Because they've taken away my Lord, and I don't know where they've put him.' And having said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not know it was Jesus, and he said," verse 15, "Woman, why are you crying? Who is it that you're seeking"?
Those are your 11 words. If you're a brother in the house, I want you to put "Man", instead of "woman," right there, "why are you crying"? It could be any emotion. We'll get back to that in just a moment. I'm gonna sit down to talk to you about this one 'cause this is so personal to some people in this room, and I say these words without one hint of condemnation because I have lived them. We, if we want to grow in intimacy and healthiness and wholeness with Jesus, we have to learn how to tell him what we're crying about, what we're angry about, what we're anxious about, what we're all up in it about, what we feel bitter about, what we feel mad about. Does anybody know what I'm talkin' about? Because sometimes, I love that he asked her. He already knows the answers to the questions. Why is he asking?
The same reason why God asked Adam way back in Genesis chapter 3, "Where are you"? He knew exactly where he was. "Tell me. Tell me". Are you in the habit of telling the Lord why you are beside yourself about something? That is such an important part of intimacy. Is anybody gettin' that with me? I can remember a time, this was years and years ago, but it just stands out to me so much. I was getting ready in the bathroom of our home that we lived in at that time that we raised our children in, and I don't even remember what it was, but I had dropped something on the floor, but I just stood up, and I kicked the cabinet just as hard as I could. I mean, it hurt. And I felt like the Lord asked me, not out loud but in my spirit, "What are you angry about? What are you angry about"? And I knew he already knew. And, I mean, I just went off on a tirade. "This, this, this, this, this".
I can't even tell you how much better I felt when it was over. I just told him and told him and told him and told him. Listen, if you don't learn to be a tattletale, you'll miss out on a whole portion of your healing because we gotta learn what is it when, all of the sudden, we're just, like, overcome with something, some kind of huge...what is it? Try to tell him. "Okay, why is it you're doing this"? But I want you to see this part of it 'cause it's so important. This is the part I really wanna press into that's gonna be tender to somebody. Who is it you're seeking? Oh, y'all, we just keep lookin' for him, don't we? Somebody in this room is about to leave a 15-year-old marriage and not because anything terrible has happened but just because you want somebody new. You want somethin' exciting because we, just, like, we want something to make us feel alive and loved and desired.
We just keep looking for Mr. Perfect, and we... stay with me here, this may not be you, we keep confusing love and sex. We want so much to be loved that we just keep in this trap, keep in this trap, over and over and over and over again, of being rejected 'cause we sleep with one person after another, trying to get somebody to love us. Is somebody out there, somebody out there, somebody out there? I do think God has really, if he has plans for marriage, very fitting mates, but they're always going to be flawed. They're always going to be broken, and we bring that brokenness in together and lean on one another and help one another along. But I just wanna say this to you: if you are looking for Mr. Perfect, you are looking for Jesus because he is the only one gonna fit that bill. He's it.
So often, when we are yearning for something and, oh, we've just got this thing we can't settle, this craving within us, and, I mean, we're about to blow up our lives for it, blow up our lives, blow up our families for it, blow up good relationships for it, blow up our self-respect, and at the end of the day, we are lookin' for somethin' only Jesus can give us. That is that, in all our flaws, we just...here's what we wanna know: "If you knew me completely, would you love me and want me"? Isn't that really it at the end of the day? "If you really knew all of it, would you still love me and want me"? I can guarantee that to you in one person, and that is Jesus.
Isn't that really it at the end of the day? "If you really knew all of it, would you still love me and want me"? I can guarantee that to you in one person, and that is Jesus. Everybody else, we have to accept is going to be, in many ways, probably as broken as we are 'cause I find that we go looking for someone with pretty equal brokenness because we look for someone with a matching set of baggage. Am I tellin' the truth to anybody? See, I would've told you, when I married Keith, he had so much baggage. Well, let me tell ya somethin'. My baggage attracted his baggage. Does anybody believe what I'm sayin' to 'em today? So take stock in case we are all up about somebody else's baggage because we likely have a matching set. I think Jesus is what you're lookin' for. I think Jesus is what I'm lookin' for. We're looking for a Savior. "Someone, save me. Someone, rescue me".
You got someone. It's Jesus. It's always gonna be him. Never gonna be anybody else. Twelve is this: John chapter 8, you're close. John chapter 8, says in verse 36, "So if the Son sets you free, you really will be free". Galatians 5:1, says it this way: "It is for freedom, Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery". Galatians 5:13, I love it so much: "For you were called to be free, brother and sisters, only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but serve one another through love". It's why he says, "Listen, don't put on another yoke of slavery. Come, come, take my yoke upon you, for I'm gentle and lowly in heart. You will find rest for your souls".
I want you to look at something with me. Would you look with me in Matthew chapter 18? I felt so led of the Lord to end this session in this way and in these passages because it has everything to do with freedom. "So if the Son sets you free, you really will be free". Let me show you one huge way he sets us free. Go with me to Matthew chapter 18. I wanna start reading at verse 21: "Then Peter approached him and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? As many as seven times?' 'I tell you, not as many as seven,' Jesus replied, but seventy times seven. For this reason, the kingdom of heaven can be compared to a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle accounts, one who owed 10,000 talents was brought before him. Since he did not have the money to pay it back, his master commanded that he, his wife, his children, and everything he had be sold to pay the debt. At this, the servant fell facedown before him and said, "Be patient with me, and I will pay you everything". Then the master of that servant had compassion, released him, and forgave him the loan.'"
Now, what's gonna happen here is that that guy is gonna go out. He's gonna find someone else who owes him not nearly as much, and he's gonna demand it from him because the one who had been forgiven had not forgiven the debt of another. That's gonna be the point of the parable that Jesus is telling. But what I want you to know, even though it's two different words, the word for "freedom" and the word for "free," in the Greek New Testament, but the word for "forgive" here is so important. There are two words that are being used in verse 27: He "released" him, and he "forgave" him. "Apoluo" is that word for that whole word for "released," and it means "to loose". It means "to unbind a person or thing". Then the word "forgave," "aphiemi," "aphiemi" in the Greek, it is a word that means "to dismiss" or "to let go from one's power," "to let go," "to set free," "to let escape".
Now, let me say, I wanna say again, right here, in terms of what we said a few minutes ago, I wanna give a disclaimer for what I'm not talking about. I do believe Jesus always calls us to forgive, but forgiving does not mean that we don't turn someone into the police for crimes. Does everybody understand that? Those are two different things. Forgiveness does not mean that we shelter someone who is abusing people. That is not what forgiveness means. We do due diligence, and we do what is the law and not only the law of our city, of our nation but also what is the law of God that that person that is committing crimes needs to be turned in. So we have that to the side, but we do, in order for us to be free, we gotta come to some point of forgiving. I wanna tell you what happens when we don't. When we don't, it is as if, when it says "to unbind them," "to release them," "apoluo," "to unbind them from you," what we're doing when we don't forgive someone, and we can carry it for decades.
Some of us, our person that we can't forgive is in the grave. They're dead and cold and have been there for 30, 40 years, but what happens is we've got their dead body bound to us with a rope, and we just carry them around. We wonder why we can't stand up straight. We wonder why life is so heavy for us, because everybody we have decided to be resentful toward and bitter toward for the rest of our lives is bound to our back, so we're carrying around the whole community group. Anybody know what I'm talkin' about? I say to you because I'm asking myself the same question: How many people are you carrying on your back right now? How many people are bound to you because it's you that keep them there and me that keep them there through my unforgiveness? Now, I don't have to feel really forgivin'. I mean, what I'm saying is "forgiving," not "forgiven". "Forgiving".
What I do have to do, if I'm willing to be obedient, is come to the Lord and go, okay, in your name and because of you, even if I have to do this ten times a day until I do it nine times a day, and do it nine times a day until I do it eight times a day, and do it eight times a day until I'm finally at about four times a day, I'm gonna keep doin' it. I'm gonna keep doin' it, keep doin' it. I release this to you. Here. I think what we fear, I come from a background of sexual abuse as a child. It is just, I'm sorry, it's just a monster. It's just somethin' else to get over. I mean, somethin' else to get over, and it is very, that forgiveness process is so difficult because it then, especially if it's early in childhood, you built up yourself and your boundaries around that belief system, and so you basically don't have any boundaries, so the things that you, the habits you have formed relationally keep injuring you over and over again. Can anybody testify with me in the house? So, with every wave of that is a new wave of "I'm so mad. Look what you did. Look what you did". I mean, we can find health in Jesus.
That's what you got to do. But I think we think, "If I release this, then I just release it into oblivion". I mean, it's just like it'll fly out there in the universe. No, we release it into the nail-scarred hands of Jesus, who is going, "Let me deal with it. I know every heart. I know every mind," he says. "Release it to me. You don't have to just release it out there into oblivion. Release it to me". Today, would you begin by saying, "Lord, you see all these"? 'Cause, see, unforgiveness is habitual. When we get really unforgiving about what, then it just becomes a small group. 'Cause then it's just easy to do it the next time. It's become a pattern in the way we think. Someone offends us? We don't forgive 'em. I have someone in my life who very proudly says, "I hold a grudge to the death". Well, your back sure hurts because you've got 40 people you're carrying around with you. What you're really wanting for that person that has done you so much wrong is for them to leave you alone, and yet you're carrying around, roped through your spine. So am I.