Allen Jackson - A Celebration of Life - Part 2
There is a God, the creator of heaven and earth that has given us life. And we will one day give an account to him. And I think cultivating the practice of treating God with respect and when you make choices that reflect him, you want to give him your best. The question should not be, you know, what’s the minimal daily requirement, like broccoli. Okay, I have to eat some broccoli, apparently; it’s like on the chart and I’m gonna have to do this, so how much? It’s like negotiating with a child at the table, right? How many bites? And I feel like we almost negotiate with God with that same kind of childlike stubbornness. How many prayers? How often do I have to attend? How much do I have to give?
I mean, we have lost, to a great degree, the reverence, the respect, the joy, in serving the Lord. And somehow in watching that in my mom through the years and all the different iterations of my brothers and I at different ages and Bible studies in my parents' home and ultimately to a church and the different seasons of our lives, that never diminished. It never diminished. And I don’t want it to diminish in me either. God deserves our best. He truly does. Our best attention, our best effort. The whole biblical principle is the first fruits, the first part of what we receive, we give to the Lord. It’s not about budgets or buildings or plans, it’s about establishing in our behavior, in our heart, and in our thoughts, that God deserves the best we have.
I think if we can let that rise in our hearts again, it will do a great deal to give us the momentum towards some things that would be better for our futures. There’s another principle when I was thinking about this with my mom that she and my dad demonstrated so well was hospitality. We’ve about lost that. I know it’s the South and we still talk about it and we still say, you know, how are you today? If you’re new to the South, you should understand we don’t care. It’s an idiom. It’s a greeting. I mean, that might be a little harsh, but we don’t really expect an answer. You know, and if you answer, and it’s clear that you’re not from here, the response you’ll probably get is, «Well, bless your heart».
And when they say that, then you really know they didn’t care. But I watched it in my parents' lives because, you know, we get together because there’s a church and all the things that go with that, but I watched faith in my family long before this was a reality. And my parents would open their home and my mom would cook food. And I have memory after memory of family after family gathering in our home because they often recruited my brothers and I as the childcare part of the initiative. That’s why I’m so grateful for the wonderful team of people who care for children. But I watched my mom would make sweet tea and pecan pies, and see lives changed on a consistent basis over decades.
And out of that a Bible study emerged and a congregation emerged and so many things happened and what really shocked me was for more than a decade they lived the majority of the year in Israel. And they didn’t speak the language and they really didn’t have a great support system in the land. They had a pretty good support system here but not in the land there. And with a very simple place where they were living, they broke out the sweet tea and pecan pies. And they started ministering to people in the land of Israel. And when I would go to visit the country, I could meet all of these people and it was the same cottonpicking thing I’d watched in Middle Tennessee. That opening your home and your heart and caring about people is the stuff of transformation.
We want to learn a program. We want to memorize four points. We want somebody to give us a series. We’re gonna walk them down and really the foundation of it is people matter enough that I will open my attention and listen to you and perhaps even open my home and sit at the table with you. I can bring you verses of scripture, but there’s a redundancy in it. It’s a biblical principle, you can trust me on this. The Bible tells us to practice hospitality. To practice it, it needs practice. And we’re all so busy we hardly get our own families around the table anymore. And in so doing, we have forfeited something. Mary and Joseph were figuring it out, working their way through it. So are we. There were some very unexpected parts of the journey for Mary. And there’s some very unexpected parts of the journey in my life and I’m sure there are in yours as well.
The most glaring of all of these I think is in John 19: «Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. And when Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, 'Dear woman, here is your son, ' and to the disciple, 'Here is your mother.' From that time on, the disciple took her into his home». It’s John. The cross, I can assure you, was not on Mary’s wish list for Jesus. It was not a part of her ambition for her son. She had some ambitions for him. It’s clear from the context of scripture. And the cross would not have been on her wish list, but it was most certainly in God’s plan. And we have to make room in our hearts that the dreams and imaginations and the perfect portraits that we imagine for our families and our children very seldom unfold with the neatness and the clarity of our dreams.
And yet in the midst of our brokenness and the disappointments and the heartaches, the purposes of God can move forward. It requires of us a faith in God, more than a demand that our plans be honored. You see, most of us will welcome God in when we think there’s a blessing he can give us that will give us opportunity. But we’re much less willing to cooperate with God when the path he puts before us requires perseverance and overcoming. We’d rather someone else have those blessings. Let me ask you a question, and I think you know the answer, and we don’t need to, but do you think that Jesus went to the cross because Mary failed? No, but I can’t imagine standing there seeing your son on a cross without thinking, «Oh,» because I know the nature of our adversary, and he’s an accuser.
And he’ll accuse you in the same way. What if or if only, or why didn’t I? In fact, I would submit to you the exact opposite is true. Jesus on the cross was her greatest success. It brought a victory not only for her but for all of us. There’s an unexpected part that comes with this parenting bargain. And what often seems like a brokenness in our heart, if we will yield it to God, can bring demonstrations of the power of God for the glory of God that will change our future and the future of our families, but I’m not suggesting it’s simple.
I want to close this with just some practical examples of some women that have touched my life. I chose some that that were introduced to me, but they were friends of my mother and my parents before mine, before me. In Luke chapter 2, in verse 36, says: «There was a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. And she was very old», would you love to make the Bible and then have them say that about you? I mean, you get your name in the book. You’re gonna get to recognize Jesus and of all the things they could say about her, you know, when she was young, she had great hair or I don’t know, «She was very old; and she’d lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, and then she was a widow until she was eighty-four». That is not an easy run. «She never left the temple, but she worshiped night and day, fasting and praying. Coming up to them at that very moment, she gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem».
We talk about Mother’s Day. I don’t want it to be just in terms of the children that you have. Mother’s Day is a day for all of us. We will celebrate the moms that are amongst us, but every one of us that’s here had a mom. And don’t allow the enemy to steal from you the opportunity in Mother’s Day to be thankful for the mom that he gave you, because the circumstances don’t suit you. Anna made the book. And she was very old. But she got to see Jesus. Some of the greatest women I have known in my life when I look back on it, they certainly began as friends of my mother’s before I knew them, but my life was changed because of them. Lydia Prince. Some of you may have read her book, «Appointment in Jerusalem». She was a Danish school teacher who went to Israel in the 1930s. Without any support, she went alone. She ended up establishing a home for girls that were unwanted, both Jewish and Arab. She never had any children of her own. She served the children of others, dozens and dozens and dozens of children. She married a man who was reared in another culture, from another nation. They didn’t even speak the same native language.
I think that could lead to some communications challenges. She was past 50 before she ever owned a home, and was one of the most remarkable people of faith I have ever known. There was a tenacity in Lydia that challenges me until this day. It wasn’t a neat life. It wasn’t a life you would dream about, but it was a God-directed life. Another woman that changed my life was Marta Irvine. She was from Latvia. She was in the United States studying when the war broke out and the communists took over her homeland. And so for decades she had very little contact, if any, with her family. Her brother had remained behind 'cause served as a pastor. He was in prison for a long season, but for more than 25 years, he preached in the same black suit. When the Soviet Union began to crumble and there was some loosening, her brother got to visit the United States.
I remember he was allowed to take two books home with him. Ms. Irvine told me he sat on the floor for hours and hours surrounded by books trying to decide which books he could take back with him. She had one of the most remarkable faiths. She was on the opposite end of the emotional spectrum in some ways of Lydia. She was the quintessential grandmother. Her husband taught in the university where I did my undergraduate degree and they showed kindness to my brother and I on many occasions. They changed the direction of my life. There’s another woman I could tell you about. Her name was Evelyn Simpson. She and her husband reared 11 children in inner city Philadelphia. He was a postal worker at a time when that was not an easy assignment. And all of the children that they reared have had just outstanding educations, exceeding my own academic career. Many of them are friends of mine.
One of the granddaughters was a Princeton grad, today is an attorney. Her children, Evelyn’s children have traveled the world. They’ve performed, some of them had phenomenal musical gifts and abilities from Juilliard School. They’ve sung at the Kennedy Center. They’ve performed for heads of state, for the most celebrated Christian leaders of our generation. What you wouldn’t know unless you knew the real details is Evelyn’s mother supported her and her siblings by doing laundry in the community where they live. She had a living faith that was not dominated by hatred or bigotry. She changed my life. I’ll give you one more. If you read my parents' book, «An Extraordinary Life,» you meet her in there. We called her Aunt Mary. She was a friend of my mom’s, and on a few occasions she’d come stay in our home for an extended period. I didn’t enjoy it when Aunt Mary came. She was a pain. She would ask questions.
I’d come in at the end of the day, maybe I’d been working in the barns, doing whatever my assignments were, whatever my chores were. I’d get in the house and I’d take off my work boots and Mary would walk up and she’d say, «Allen, wouldn’t you like to vacuum the kitchen for your mother»? What’s the answer to that question? «Heck no. No». But Aunt Mary was 306 and you couldn’t really say that to her. «Well, I’d be delighted to vacuum the kitchen for my mother». Aunt Mary was a missionary to Cuba before Castro. Her husband died when she was young. She never remarried, she lived alone. The list could go on but they share some things in common. What I would submit to you is please don’t try to tell me that you can’t be a woman of great significance if your life doesn’t look like a storybook, because the instances I just shared with you, none of them were the dreams that you would hold for your children.
Whether your life is with children or without children, with a husband or without a husband, with a perfect home or without a perfect home, if you will choose, God will use your life if you’ll seek him and not be distracted by his redrawing of your dream. That’s really important. Are you willing to let God redraw your dream? I’ve struggled with that in my own life from time to time. If you have a storybook life, God bless you. For in all seriousness, yay, awesome. But if you don’t, I want to invite you to stop mourning. Celebrate the opportunities which God has placed before you. And make a kingdom difference. I wanna close with a story. I’d forgotten it, honestly, and I was reminded of it a couple of weeks ago.
And I happened to be able to put my hand on it. I borrowed it from Chuck Swindoll. It’s a true story. It’s about a young man who was a student and his teacher. The boy’s name was Teddy. Ms. Thompson is the teacher. And Teddy Stollard qualified as one of the least. He was disinterested in school. Ahem, excuse me. Typically a bit musty, his clothes were wrinkled, his hair was never combed. One of those kids in school with a deadpan face, completely expressionless. Sort of glassy unfocused stare. And when Ms. Thompson spoke to Teddy, he always answered in monosyllables. He was unattractive, unmotivated, and undisciplined. He was just hard to love. And even though his teacher said she loved all of them, kids in her class, down inside she wasn’t really being completely truthful.
Whenever she marked Teddy’s papers, she got kind of a perverse pleasure by putting X’s next to the wrong answers and then she’d put Fs at the top of the page. She should have known better. She had some access to Teddy’s records. She knew more about him than she really wanted to admit. The records went something like this: in the 1st grade, Teddy shows promise with his work and he has a good attitude but a poor home situation. The comment in 2nd grade was Teddy could do better. His mother is seriously ill, and he receives little help at home. The 3rd grade: Teddy’s a good boy, but he’s too serious. He’s a slow learner. His mother died this year. 4th grade was: Teddy, he is very slow, but he’s well behaved. His father shows no interest.
Well, Christmas came that year and the boys and girls in Ms Thompson’s class brought her Christmas presents. They piled the presents on her desk and trotted around to watch her open them. Among the presents was one from Teddy. She was surprised that he’d brought her a gift, but he had. Teddy’s gift was wrapped with brown paper and held together with Scotch tape. And on the paper was written the simple words, «For Miss Thompson, from Teddy». When she opened Teddy’s present, out fell a gaudy rhinestone bracelet with half the stones missing and a bottle of cheap perfume. The other boys and girls began to giggle and to smirk at Teddy’s gifts, but Ms. Thompson at least had enough sense to silence them by immediately putting on the bracelet and putting some of the perfume on her wrist. Holding her wrists up for the other children to smell, she said, «Doesn’t it smell lovely»?
And the children took their cue from the teacher and responded with oohs and ahs. At the end of the day when school was over and the other children had left, Teddy lingered behind and he slowly came over to her desk and he said softly, «Ms. Thompson, you smell just like my mother. And her bracelet looks really pretty on you». I promise I read this ten times before we came in here. I know how to prepare. When Teddy left, Miss Thompson got down on her knees and asked God to forgive her. And the next day when the children came to school they were welcomed by a new teacher, Ms. Thompson had become a different person. No longer just a teacher, she was an agent of God. Now a person committed to loving her children and doing things for them that would live on after her, she helped all the children, but especially the slow ones and especially Teddy. By the end of the school year he’d showed dramatic improvement. He caught up with most of the students and was even ahead of some.
Well, the year ended and she didn’t hear from Teddy for a long time. Then that one day, she received a note that read, «Dear Ms. Thompson, I want you to be the first to know I’ll be graduating second in my class. Love, Teddy Stollard». Four years later, another note: «Dear Ms. Thompson, they just told me I’ll be graduating first in my class». Hm. «And I wanted you to be the first to know. Love, Teddy». Four years later, another note: «Dear Ms. Thompson, as of today, I am Theodore Stollard MD. How about that?
I wanted you to be the first to know. I’m getting married next month, the twenty-seventh to be exact. And I want you to come and sit where my mother would sit if she were alive. You’re the only family I have now. Dad died last year. Love, Teddy Stollard». You see, I think you have more power to change lives than you know. And your tools may be sweet tea and pecan pie, or maybe a little bowl of clean water. And you’ll have to get down on your hands and knees. But if you’ll determine to give God your best, I’m quite confident he’ll help you lay up treasure in heaven. Or we can complain that we deserve better, and our dream didn’t come true. I prefer to give God my best. I want you to stand with me. I brought you a prayer. Think we can read it together. I had a feeling by this point I’d need your help to read the prayer. It’s a prayer for your mom. It works whether she’s here or not.
Heavenly Father, I invite your blessing on my mom, bring her your very best. Grant her the desires of her heart. Redeem the time she has invested in others. Renew the weary places in her soul. Remember her persistent prayers and quiet tears. May her willingness to give life be returned to her through the life of your Spirit. May the love of those who surround her be more real than any disappointment she has endured. I bless her in your name. Amen, hallelujah.